Original subtitles

MARY: True friendship unfolds over time...

shaped by hardship,

grace, shared memories,

and made safe with trust.

But when trust is gone, fear takes over.

Blame points fingers, and friend turns against friend.

Where are we?

Just follow me. I think this is the way home.

LISA: You guys, this is not safe.

Something does not feel right.

BRONWYN: You never said you're wrong.

You were wrong to say that about Todd.

Don't ----ing speak about my family again. God!

Can we go?

This is crazy!

MEREDITH: You are not a safe space.

You're a liar! I find that to be despicable! I don't care!

I don't know how to get home.

-How do we get home? -HEATHER: Don't gaslight me!

I did nothing wrong!

And you're gonna sit there and lie?!

You are the one who brought us out here.

You brought us out here. [echoing] I'm done with you!

She didn't stand up for you!

Everyone talks about it, and I did not pile on!

This is your fault. You made us do this.

She is degrading me.

I will not have my reputation ----ing questioned.

Stop yelling at each other. This is making it worse!

MARY: And that's how the witch hunt begins.

Why are we here if we're not friends?

If we all feel the same way is something wrong?

***

***

[honks horn]

***

[horn honking continuously]

Mary Cosby! Here we go!

You ready for your class "A" getaway?

Why are you dressed like we're going to the office?

Can you believe we're doing this?

No, I can't.

-Oh. Oh. -You got it? You got it.

***

Mary, this is Teague. Teague, this is Mary.

Hi. Nice to meet you.

Teague's gonna be driving most of the way,

so we can just sit back here and chill.

Okay.

I know by the looks of my dress that you wouldn't believe

that I would be into RV living, and I wasn't until

Shawn forced me to buy one three years ago,

and it's been the funnest time making memories with my family.

We'll take you on a little ride to pick up the ladies.

So it dawned on me.

Why have I never done this with the ladies?

Isn't it great?

You're gonna drive?

And I know the perfect person to host it with.

I'm driving.

Am I gonna live?

I'm driving Miss Daisy.

My grandmother owned RVs,

and all my life, it was a part of growing up.

But I don't love it as an adult with eight other adults

all squished in together and...

like, you can hear each other's thoughts, you know?

Can you imagine?

VOICES: Liar!

High body count. My hair.

We're in for a ride.

MEREDITH: ...10 ring!

The girls have no idea who's coming.

Look, it's no secret that after New York,

there were some fractures in some of the friendships.

-[bleep] her. -[bleep] me.

-[bleep] you, Britani. -You're a liar.

I am talking.

I just don't think you're honest about anything.

No, I'm sick of everyone saying--

Everybody's talking at once!

[talking over each other]

So I'm pulling the old bait and switch.

I have them thinking they're heading

on a luxurious vacation.

Little do they know they're gonna be sleeping in an RV.

There's nowhere to run, there's nowhere to hide.

It's you, your closest friends,

and your closest frenemies.

[engine starts]

-Jesus, take the wheel. -Take the wheel, baby.

Here we go.

Whoo!

***

Go down...

Do you feel safe with me?

-No, not really. -Do you want to be the driver?

-No. No, no, no. -Okay.

***

HEATHER: So where do you guys think we're going?

Angie kept saying glamorous, and I was like...

That's what Mary kept saying as first class.

Class "A."

I tried to call and get info from Mary,

and she wouldn't budge.

Oh, Angie. I thought she'd sing like a canary.

And she was just mysterious as you know, anything.

-Where are they? -No, I mean, I called Mary.

I didn't ask anything other than for help with packing.

Based on the invite,

there's only a few places we can be going.

There's a private plane, there's a pier over water,

and there's a tropical drink.

But then the invite also said boots.

I have packed a little bit of everything.

Could be helicoptering for all I know. I'm ready for anything.

Where the hell is Angie?

We're waiting for Angie and Mary.

Angie and Mary. Lisa.

-Yeah. -Yeah. Where's Lisa?

No, Lisa's not coming.

Oh, you didn't know that?

So now seems like a good time to update you

on where everyone stands with each other.

Meredith cannot stand Britani.

I'm not a fan of Bronwyn's.

I'm not really actually sure where Mary stands with anyone.

And that's kind of what you get with Mary.

And then there's Angie,

Whitney, and especially Bronwyn,

who are all not getting along with Lisa right now.

-No. -No.

-No. -One might ask why we're

going on a girls trip when there are five ongoing disputes.

But that's actually kind of tame for this group.

Oh, my goodness. Has anyone heard from them?

-No. Check your phones. -Where are they?

[celestial music playing]

They have not texted. I don't know where they are.

***

Oh, I'm freezing.

***

[horn honks]

-What in the... -Oh, for [bleep] sake.

Look at their faces! Look at their faces.

-What? Oh, my God. -It's Angie driving it.

No, no, no, no.

This is horrible.

-Class "A" getaway, ladies! -Oh, my gosh!

-What are you doing to us?! -You all look so good.

-Hi! -Mary!

Look at Meredith. Look at Meredith.

What is this?

Meredith, I'll make it worth your while.

Are we not flying somewhere?

No.

You gave me a vacation with a plane,

and I'm ready for bikinis.

This is a plane. This will be a...

I cannot believe Britani showed up in a bikini.

God bless Britani's little heart,

just reading the invite and taking every word so literal.

Did they all get different invitations than me?

The invitation said bikinis, boots, and blessings.

I mean, why am I the only one wearing a bikini?

You really took the theme to heart.

I have no idea where we're going,

but unless she's planning going to a pool party

with a congressman, I'm not sure where this outfit works.

-Let's go, let's go. -I can't wait to see it.

Mary, you lead. It's your class "A" getaway.

-I'll show you around, everyone. -Oh, my gosh.

-Welcome, welcome. -Ah.

-Oh, wow! -Yes.

-This is cool! -I know.

Here, I'm going to take one for the team and go backwards.

If I get sick, I swear to God I try to be nice.

How do we all sit?

Meredith, just grab you a seat.

We're going to have to be close quarters right now,

but it's temporary. -We're gonna hope for the best.

I live my life as a germaphobe.

-Where do I put the treat bag? -Here.

It's a very small, enclosed space.

I don't like when other people are like,

coughing, breathing, eating snacks.

We're all using the same air for everything.

If anybody could make a hazmat suit chic

on a camping trip, it would have been me.

I just needed a little advanced notice.

We thought it'd be special that we're, like, we're close.

-I love a road trip. -We are really close.

So does anyone want a shot? Let's do something. Yes. Yes.

-You're not driving. -Please.

I'm not driving. We're gonna do a little tequila.

Ange, hold on.

What?

Wait. Why are the police here?

-[gasps] -[police radio chatter]

-They're out there. -Oh, my God.

Why are they surrounding with Heather?

-Is this a joke? -This can't be for real.

They are surrounding the RV, you guys.

What's going on?

He's looking for you.

Whitney.

Whitney!

This is like PTSD.

NYPD.

What the [bleep] is going on?

What the [bleep]?

Whitney!

What is happening?

What's going on?

I am Whitney Rose. Is there a problem?

-Why are they handcuffing her? -[gasps]

A very bad girl.

-[cheering] -They're strippers!

Hey, but guess who's been worse? My girlfriends. Go get 'em.

The minute I heard that we were departing

from Beauty Lab, I knew I had to pull a prank.

-Mary, hand me the-- -There's no way there's

this many hot cops in one stop.

I hired the strippers to come to the Beauty Lab parking lot,

and I told them to wait for my signal.

It was a lot harder than I thought to find

male strippers in Utah, by the way.

-Oh! -[cheering]

Dollar, dollar bills, y'all.

I'm just glad there are no federal charges

pending this time.

Surprise, ladies. I thought we'd kick out the party right.

[cheering]

I wouldn't mind a stripper if he was closer to my age.

But when they're, like, old enough to throw

over your shoulder and burp 'em, I just...

It feels kind of little weird.

[laughter]

Oh, my God.

No. No. No, no, and no.

You don't even know me.

I mean, where was the muscles?

Okay, never mind.

[chanting] Girls trip, girls trip, girls trip!

Girls trip. Girls trip.

This is exactly what I envisioned,

and this is how you start a fun girls trip.

-[cheering] -Yeah, boys!

Whoo!

Thank you, boys!

Doors shut. We're ready to roll.

Driver?

-[horn honks] -We are ready to go.

***

-Yay. -Cheers.

-Cheers. -Cheers, guys. Cheers.

So where are we going?

We're going somewhere about an hour away.

An hour? North, south, east or west?

South.

So we're going to pass my house.

-Maybe we can drop you off. -Very funny.

You're so cute when you're rude.

You know, some people just get on your nerves.

-I'm like, hello, hello! -She's one of them.

We've got about an hour to gaze into each other's eyes.

-Talk about whatever we want. -Whoo.

Where's Lisa?

Um...

***

Where's Lisa?

***

-Where is she? -Um...

She was kind of not very clear. She said she had some work

going on, so she was going to go out of town.

-Okay, I get it. -Psychotic.

Not even for one day?

Really? Okay.

Okay.

***

Ben and Blake.

I mean, it's not like her to not be here.

Right. She doesn't miss.

I wasn't very clear if it really was,

um, work or if it was more the fact that Bronwyn was

coming on the trip, and we invited everyone.

It's probably Bronwyn because we know she's not working.

-Don't blame it on me. -I talked to her.

She was definitely working. She has a huge work thing.

She would miss a girls trip over work?

Yeah, don't drag it. Don't drag her.

I'm just saying I don't think she's working.

-You're one to talk. -What are you talking about?

Your business is getting dragged like crazy

right now on social media.

-Are you kidding me, Britani? -No, I'm not kidding.

You don't know anything about my business.

I think Whitney's just saying this because she feels

emboldened that Lisa's not here, and she can say

whatever she wants and get away with it,

and she doesn't think anyone's going to defend her,

but oh, no, no, au contraire. I'm going to.

I was questioning where Lisa was.

Yeah, and that was super shady

because she's actually on a business trip.

You know nothing about my business.

I just think that you don't have any right.

You don't have any right to drag--

What do you do for work, Britani?

How do you make money?

Sucking dick?

Oh, my God.

Are you kidding me, Whitney?

Yeah, you just went there with me, Britani.

-No, I did not. -It's so undeserved.

Businesses being dragged on social media

in the public eye. -I'm at rock bottom, bitch.

I'll climb my way on top of you.

HEATHER: We're just starting the trip!

She has any right to drag Lisa just

because she's not here.

Keep your hands out of my face, or I'll jump in, too.

Lisa is a really true friend of mine.

She is a good friend, and I'm not going to let

someone throw shade when she's not here.

***

I don't really know when Lisa and Britani

became so such good friends.

You'd have to ask Lisa.

[crickets chirping]

Lisa's like a sister to me.

I got really close to her after Puerto Vallarta

and just because she and Meredith are close,

it doesn't affect our relationship.

Britani, don't say anything mean about her business.

Especially don't kick a one- legged dog when they're down.

-[horn honks] -Oh, my God.

-Oh, my God. -Oh!

-Oh! -This is heaven.

***

Okay, we're here. Look how beautiful it is.

-What? -What's going on?

[dog barking in distance]

Oh, my God. We're at a campsite.

-Not a campsite. -Oh, my gosh.

***

There's a diesel with a broken down trailer, a school bus.

Oh, my goodness.

Old snowmobile, an old tractor.

-Is this a joke? -I don't know.

-This is a junkyard. -This isn't for real.

[train horn blows]

Is that a dumpster?

What the [bleep]?

So I was picturing like a glamorous cabin.

***

I was picturing, like, a really fabulous chef.

And then we would like, ah, it's so freezing.

Run out to the hot tub-- that kind of a thing.

-[record needle scratches] -Um...

I was not expecting to be camping.

[brakes squeal]

I was not expecting to be in an RV.

Was not expecting to be in a sleeping bag next to Britani.

You know, like, all my least favorite things. [laughs]

No.

Oh, wow.

***

Here we are, ladies.

Yeah.

-Wow. Look, here we are. -Oh, my gosh.

Is it muddy?

Is there anywhere we can walk where there's no mud?

Mary, right here. Over here.

Okay.

We're not just in nature. We're in the trenches.

Maybe I'll go this way.

There's mud, trees. It looks like it's haunted.

[crow cawing]

-We're gonna have dinner here. -Are we staying here?

-We're staying here. -We're sleeping here.

We're sleeping here.

Are we having tents or inside the RV?

Oh, we're gonna sleep in the RV.

I don't like it.

I grew up camping. We had a Winnebago.

So I'm excited. I'm down.

But when I think Mary Cosby, I think bougie,

Luxury, high end, white glove service.

Dom Perignon.

I don't think RV.

So it really surprises me that Mary planned this trip.

Like, does she know what we're doing?

I don't even know how my name got attached through this.

Like, this is not me. This is not me.

This is our dining room.

And you ladies are sitting on our lunch table.

Sorry, sorry.

Let's get lunch started so we can start our activity.

-Whoo! -I'm starving.

Guys, here's placemats and place settings.

-Okay, I'll set the table. -You wanna be in charge of that?

-Okay. -Yum.

-I'm gonna need some alcohol. -I'll get the tequila.

This is lovely.

***

The sandwiches look delicious.

Well, cheers, everyone. Welcome to nature.

-No phones, just bonding. -Mm-hmm.

-Hey, everybody. -Oh, dear.

I have a little, like, fun activity planned for us.

I didn't clear this with the hostesses,

but I actually think since I'm the video girl,

and you all know me as the video girl.

Britani, why are you recording the conversation?

-You're recording us? -She recorded it.

I have had enough!

I brought some camcorders for us.

So we're gonna make a little video diary

of our fun weekend away.

[cough]

What a great idea.

-Angie, a camera for each of us. -That's so cool. Thank you. Wow.

-Mary. -What a great idea. I love this.

Pop off the front, open it up, and it turns on.

-Hey. -Where's the record?

The record button is just right here.

-Okay, so... -Oh, my gosh.

-This is so old school. -See?

-Bronwyn. -Hi, Heather.

-Are we here? -We're here.

-Whitney. -Zoom in on the food.

Delicious sandwiches.

Hey, we don't want any sex videos, ladies.

-Our first camping trip. -Whoo!

Well, not ours. We're professionals.

Bronwyn. Here we are.

I'm excited. My first night in an RV.

Let's show each other filming each other.

-I love it. -[laughs]

-Oh, hi, chirp. -Hi, chirp.

Love you, guys.

There we go. How do I get myself?

There we go. And why is it going black?

I can't see anything.

This wasn't on my Bingo card for today,

but I'm happy to be here with all of you.

-Good. -I love being in nature.

It just puts everything in perspective, you know?

I think the bigger thing that's weird here

is that Lisa didn't join our trip.

Yeah.

When someone plans a girls trip, you go,

and when you don't go, it's to make a statement, you know,

like we would have rearranged the trip around her schedule.

I'm sure. It just seems like a way

for her to say, "I'm not sure I'm into

you guys as much as you're into me."

-It feels weird. -Yeah.

Well, she hasn't shared anything with me, but, I mean,

I read what's online,

and I think that there's a lot out there.

***

What's going on?

She just has a lot of people accusing her

of crazy accusations.

Didn't she just mention this to us the other day,

Heather, and say everything was situated?

That's what she said to me, too.

Um, it doesn't sound that way to me.

It's interesting timing for Lisa to be too busy

to go on a free girls trip.

I mean, maybe she's too busy reading

about herself in the press

with all of her lawsuits.

It's just very convenient timing

for Lisa's schedule to be maxed out.

What I've heard is that there's multiple issues

and that some of them are not done yet.

-No. -No way.

For somebody who's so worried about my finances

or your jewelry or what your husband

may or may not have done that she heard from

somebody else or never did or whatever you want to call it.

For somebody who talks an awful lot,

maybe she should spend some of that time, like,

working on the stuff she's got to fix.

You seem like you know something that you don't want to say.

Spit it out, Bronwyn. Just say it.

Lisa's go-to accusation is all of us are liars when

she doesn't like what we say, and she is the one

pointing it out and never sharing with us what's hard

or difficult or messy or frankly,

maybe even ----ing bull---- about her own life.

***

She is the one pointing it out and never sharing with us

what's hard or difficult or messy or, frankly,

maybe even ----ing bull---- about her own life.

***

That's why she talks.

I mean, it's like we're not allowed

to talk about her stuff, but she can always talk about ours.

And by the way, most of the lawsuits

that I have looked at, I don't know how many there are

that I don't know of,

but I've seen at least five lawsuits that have

been filed against Lisa or Lisa's businesses

or Lisa and her husband.

Five lawsuits against Lisa Barlow?

Lisa and John.

Yes, actually. Yeah. It's definitely out there.

I don't understand.

It is serious allegations, and it is for a lot of money.

So she's litigating. She's in court right now?

I don't know today. I don't know about that.

And you're reading this in testimonials you're Googling?

It was in "Salt Lake Tribune."

***

It's everywhere. Have you seen it? You've seen it.

You've seen it. Everyone's seen it.

I haven't seen any of this. Have you seen it?

-Heather, it's-- -It was in the "Tribune."

It's everywhere.

I love Heather, but right now, for you to pretend

you didn't see it, I think Stevie Wonder saw it.

If you're saying you don't know, you're playing stupid.

We've all seen the same things. Lisa talks a big game,

and then you hear all this other stuff going on.

It's weird.

The whole thing makes me uncomfortable.

Why Bronwyn thinks that she should tell us this,

why everyone at the table seems so riveted by it.

I mean, Lisa and I have worked really hard on our friendship,

and I want to be a supportive friend.

So every instinct in my body is, like, defend your friend.

I'm just thinking about, like, what I would want someone

to do in that position for me.

It is, but you got to pay it back.

Yes, that's correct.

Heather...

one might say it's similar to what Jen Shah did.

What the [bleep] are you spewing from your mouth, Angie K.?

Wait, that was a bad analogy.

I don't even understand Angie's analogy.

These are not criminal charges.

This is a civil lawsuit

that has yet to go to trial, yet to have anything proved.

The state of Utah is not coming after Lisa Barlow,

nor is the United States of America.

This is blowing my goddamn mind, to be honest.

You're comparing L.B. to Jen Shah?

And you two are, like, bonding over this.

***

Why are we even talking about Jen Shah?

We shouldn't be talking about her.

We shouldn't say her name.

We shouldn't unearth her spirit.

She's in prison where she belongs.

I know you can't stand me, and that's fine.

-You don't have to. -It's not true.

But you just said if anybody said--

-That's not ----ing true! -You just said...

If anybody compared someone to Jen, it would be too far.

What about when Lisa compared me to Jen?

Was it too far?

***

Lisa publicly tweeted that.

-I didn't hear that. -And I just told you.

I'm not on Twitter Googling your ----ing name, Bronwyn.

I'm telling you, that's what she just said.

I have a relationship with you based on this,

and what I have on you is not great.

I'm not gonna sit here and have you tell me all this sh--

about Lisa's business when you just got caught red-handed

lying about a $4 million necklace.

Talk to me about one of the most lavish gifts

we've ever seen on "The Housewives."

-That $4 million necklace. -Oh, yeah.

I kind of thought you were going to wear

the necklace to the reunion.

I thought about it because I thought that would clear

up a lot of questions. -What questions?

Uh, whether or not I have it and can wear it. Right?

That would clear that right up. Yeah. [laughs]

It is my fault.

I should not have tried to be cutesy about it.

-You didn't own the necklace. -And I said

I shouldn't have said it that way. I shouldn't have.

I was trying to protect myself and the jeweler,

and it came out sounding like a lie.

And that's bad on me.

I knew I wasn't gonna buy this necklace,

but I made the girls believe that I had it by saying,

"When I wear it, you'll see it,"

thinking that I would get a different version,

and they wouldn't notice the difference.

That is, in effect, lying. And that's wrong.

How did that become more important to me

than my integrity or the importance of Todd

and I's anniversary or being tough enough to not

give a damn what everyone else thinks?

Like, I really acted so immature in that moment to be cool.

All you have to say is, "I lied. I'm sorry. The end."

Right, exactly.

Don't call me Boo Boo. That's so condescending.

Does everyone here know what

it's like to not be on a trip with your friends

and have all of them talk about you?

-I do. -Yeah.

I was on the trip with my friends,

and I went to bed, and my friends--

Lisa, yeah, talked about me. Yes.

She has said some things, and she has

had information, outside of Britani,

about everyone at the table.

I heard that Shawn does circle jerks.

That's what she just said to me.

Meredith said I had mental health issues.

Oh, my God.

No, I don't pop pills, bitch...

Cameron has had religious trauma...

He mortgaged his house and gave her 300 grand.

You plant things about my marriage, my business.

Go get your proof

and then I'm gonna sue the [bleep] out of you.

I think she was like, honor code, what? [laughs]

She said you guys didn't buy it,

or the hoop earrings. -Very weird a jeweler

would tell someone else what I did or didn't buy.

She said you didn't purchase a thing.

Lisa, she did not call you.

She happens to have information on everyone's finances,

businesses, marriages, documents.

Like, I can see why you feel like you had to say,

"Well, I know this about you, too."

I'm not saying she's a liar.

I'm not saying she owes that money.

I'm not saying she stole it.

She's a fraud. It's a little weird. I'm actually not.

Everything you just ----ing said.

I'm actually not. I'm just saying it...

Back away, back away, back away.

To be clear, I'm not happy to hear this.

And I'm not saying anything I won't say to her face.

Yes, Lisa, I've heard about your lawsuit.

I would say that's it, Lisa.

I will. I'll tell her we talked about her.

***

Like, there's no--

We don't need to do this behind her back because

I didn't like it, and I don't like what you --

Where the whole conversation went,

and I think we should pivot.

Hey, you guys. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

-Oh, God. -I have an announcement.

Oh, dear.

It's been a minute.

Jared and I got engaged.

-What? -Yes.

-Is this real? -It is real. Yes.

This gorgeous woman is changing her last name.

-It's true. Look. -It's true.

Look what happened.

-And... -Oh, my God.

We got unengaged...

two weeks after that.

Mrs. Osmond, I love this girl.

What in the world?

Well, that was short and sweet.

Britani doesn't understand what an announcement is.

I think that we need to meet with Britani

and explain to her the nature of an announcement

and that if it is negated immediately after,

it is therefore no longer an announcement,

but just something we don't mention at all.

We just decided that our kids weren't on board,

and we really want our kids to be a part of it.

And they were not happy because we were so on and off

last year and so, yeah, we decided to call it off so...

-Is he dating other women? -No, I don't think so.

-Are you still seeing him? -Oh, yeah.

-Like, every day. Yeah. -Oh, God, help me, Lord.

[laughs]

I run into him at the gym all the time.

-Yeah. -And he appears single.

What do you mean, he appears single?

Let's just say I never see him on a machine.

I mean, that's... He is a really social person.

I see him in the Life Time Café on dates.

-And he introduces me to them. -Wait, say that again.

Well, first of all, is it considered a date

if you're at the Life Time Café? -Hey, the café is amazing.

You'd be surprised. Don't sleep on the chicken salad.

[laughs]

Okay, well, I think this is a good time to break.

We have some fun activities planned

before the sun goes down. -What have we got, Ange?

We've got two activities, and I think you're

gonna be really excited about it.

The first time we went camping in our RV, we went fly fishing,

and Elektra caught her first fish.

It was super exciting. It's a great camping activity.

***

Okay, um, and the second activity is a kayak.

-Kayaking. I want to kayak. -I want to go fly fishing.

Meredith, you going to go fishing with me?

Good luck fishing, Ange.

Yeah. I'm going to go kayaking with Heather and Bronwyn.

Will you come with us?

[laughs] Yes. Yes.

-Don't throw her overboard. -[laughter]

We'll see if all three of us make it back.

-Cold water. -[quacks]

Who would find my body?

***

BRITANI: We're ready!

-We got this, Brit. -All right. We got this.

Look at you. You're such a babe.

-Come zip up. -Let's see a little high kick.

***

I'm so excited.

Are you doing fly fishing?

-Yes. -Hey, I'm Joe.

-I'm Britani. -It's so nice to meet you.

So nice to meet you. This is Mary.

-Hi. Mary. -Nice to meet you.

We're gonna put some waders and boots on you.

So first of all, I want you to come over and have a seat.

Slide these on. It's like a giant garbage bag.

Can I help you get into that one?

-So we take our shoes off. -Oh, okay.

Yay. Look at us.

And I'm getting my shoes tied.

Stand up, and then you can hike those up

when you're ready.

-We're here to kayak. -All right.

We want to get suited up and grab some oars,

and then we'll head right out there to the kayak.

To the kayaks, Kev. Let's go.

I've never kayaked. Wait, there's two kayaks, though.

It's a single and a double.

I think these two should be together.

Uh...

Heather and Bronwyn are a tough case.

I'm gonna stick them in this kayak

until they work out their problems.

-Okay, let's do it. -They need some bonding time.

Sure. I'm gonna "Parent Trap" them.

I'm so screwed.

Perhaps I'll take this opportunity to teach her

how to do a kayak death roll.

Hopefully she won't get stuck.

I'm so screwed.

-Oars away! -There she goes.

There she comes! Come on, Heather.

-We're coming. We're coming. -Okay.

We're coming, girl.

You guys have a more stable push than shifting around.

-Okay, we're going to be good. -Thanks, Kev.

Good luck!

Whoo!

I don't know what my cousin's doing.

I don't know what she's doing, but we want to avoid that.

Oh, no. I see some white waters ahead.

-That's a hazard. -Oh, here we go.

[laughs]

Ah! [laughter]

Aah!

-[laughter] -This is sad.

-Oh, [bleep]! -There's a rock!

-Aah! -[laughter]

Okay.

Now, Bronwyn, when you call out

the commands, like... -Oh, yeah, I'm ready for that.

I wrote a chapter about reading a river

and how it's a metaphor for life.

So you are in good hands.

And it's really pretty. It's beautiful.

Who knew it could be this simple to be friends with Heather?

I just have to literally sit behind her,

take a back seat, be second paddle,

and, you know, not make eye contact,

and we'll get along just fine.

***

I feel like we can't even hear Whitney anymore.

[screaming]

***

-Ready? -Yeah. Okay.

-And you go like a rainbow? -Correct.

-Like that. -That's it. Perfect.

-I'm a good rainbow thrower. -Hey, that was --

There you go. You're laying it out there fine.

-Perfect. -Okay. I'm a pro.

-There you go. -Slam. Okay.

And make sure we don't slam the rod into the water.

Soft.

My dad's a fisherman, and I never understood why

he loved it so much, but when you go fly fishing

and you're out in nature,

and you cast your wire or whatever you call it...

Angie, how's it going over there?

It's so relaxing and so beautiful and just quiet.

-Angie. -Come on, little fishies.

I'm not-- I'm not really a fisherman.

Fishy, fishy!

I don't know anything about fish

other than it's where I get my caviar.

[cash register bell dings]

How long does this typically take to catch a fish?

[chuckles] Million dollar question.

Boy, that's the million dollar question right there.

Well, is it like five minutes or five hours?

We call it fishing, not catching.

I will feel bad. I want to throw it back out and free it.

First of all, he's going to choke.

You know, I'm have to try to resuscitate it.

-Well, how do you do that? -What's your name again?

You can't bring 'em back? [gasps]

That's not true.

I would just put it on the side of a rock and do CPR.

-Wait, what? -And I think you, um...

You--You do it like...

to this one song.

Like, giving him some, like, little CPR or something.

Like, push, like, making sure his fins are flapping off.

You have to bring it back to life and then throw it back in.

And I hope that he would live for the rest of his days.

[flatlining sound]

[laughs]

But seriously, like, most days, how long does

***

[crow caws]

Hey, so I have a question.

Is this not like the area

where the legend of Molly Sorensen happened?

-It is. -It is.

She was a fundamentalist Mormon...

-Yes. -...that made it her mission

to find girls that would come up here to make out

with their boyfriends or sin,

and she would kidnap them and then sacrifice them.

That is the story.

Have you ever heard anything here?

Yeah, we've heard screams all throughout the night.

Weird. You think they'd be owls first.

-Some people come up missing. -You think we'll be okay?

-Just listen. -We got a lot of sinners.

-I'll check on you. -Okay. Appreciate it.

[crows cawing]

[whispers] Scary.

***

All All right, let's make the fire, Whitney.

-I'm coming. -I'm hungry.

I'm an expert now. I'm a professional fire-maker.

Okay, Meredith, that is not gonna work. But you can try.

You have to build a teepee so that their air can get in.

Ahh...

Little caviar for the fire.

I'm walking to see Meredith trying to light the fire.

-There we go. -Oh, here we go. We're lit.

-We're lit. We're going. -You got it, Meredith.

I love the way the fire smells.

Grab a blankie.

-Ooh, ooh, it smells good. -Ange, I'm starving.

So the food is on the dinner table over here

in our beautiful dining room in nature.

So everyone's gonna cook their own dinners.

Boo.

There's conflict with the hostesses.

-Boo! -Okay, she didn't love the idea.

I'm excited. What are those?

Veggie burgers.

I'm gonna do a hot dog brigade.

And who got the whole wheat bread?

-I don't know. -What about the wine opener?

I got it. I got one.

I'm gonna put all the booze by Britani's chair. There we go.

-'Cause I try to hide it. -So there are four skewers.

***

-Oh, gosh. -[laughs]

Wait, Mary, are those totally raw?

I don't know.

To cook my food on a stick

on some open fire?

This ain't working.

This is actually wrong.

I think I'm gonna just starve tonight.

I can't believe Angie and Mary are gonna stay friends

if Mary is eating a dry-ass bagel.

Because there's nothing else she's interested in eating.

Ange, how did you expect that we cook these?

The last time I had asparagus,

there's like, violins playing in the background.

I mean, asparagus is fancy schmance.

It is not meant for an RV barbecue night.

-Oh, let's eat 'em raw. -Eat 'em raw?

Angie K, where are the hot dog buns?

-Did you have any ketchup? -[laughs]

You know what? You guys are so ungrateful.

Just eat the hot dog. Stop asking for condiments.

We're supposed to be coming one with nature and be minimalists.

Take a bite.

It's hot.

No one wants to watch you eat that hot dog.

-I can promise you that. Okay? -Eat it.

The truth is, I actually forgot everything.

But that's the story I'm selling to the ladies.

Um, Bronwyn, did you-- when you were at BYU,

did you ever hear of creepy stuff

that would happen at Provo Canyon?

Of course.

***

-Girls would go missing. -Mm-hmm.

-Is this true? -I've heard stories.

I don't want to put a damper on this trip,

but, like, this canyon is

notorious for, like, freaky sh-- happening.

It's--I mean, the legend is Molly Sorensen...

[crow cawing]

...the polygamist girl who escaped the colony

and has been seeking retaliation on the community ever since.

On young girls, mostly.

-What community? -Well, we're not young.

I'm not saying we're at risk.

I mean, I'm not saying we're at risk.

I'm just saying this is a freaky--there's freaky stuff.

Girls go missing.

Women that had, like, sinned, she would, like,

basically bring to justice.

I never would have been a good time girl at BYU

because I knew the legend of Molly Sorensen--

what happens to good time girls.

We talked about it all the time at BYU,

especially when we were freshmen.

You know, we never left the dorms alone.

[scream]

If Molly Sorensen was real, she would have came

and fixed this food. That's what Molly needed to do.

She needed to come over there feeding us.

And Molly didn't show up. So I don't believe in her.

[scream]

Basically, the legend is that she's still out there.

So why did we pick coming here?

We forgot to Google "murders in Provo Canyon."

Angie didn't do the research. [laughs]

Bronwyn, do you need help with your hot dog?

-Yeah. -Are you good?

You guys might be surprised to see me helping Bronwyn

with her hot dog.

I know, it's kind of interesting.

Just hours ago, you two were going at it.

When you're in nature and, like, every--

you put everything in perspective.

-It was so beautiful. -It was.

-We kayaked it out. -Wow.

Is it really nature? Do you think it's just fun

that we're on a trip without Lisa

and you can actually just be yourself?

***

That's a sh--ty thing to say.

No. Really, though.

You don't think I'm myself around Lisa?

Would you be nice to Bronwyn if Lisa was here tonight?

I think that I would have had that moment with her

on the kayak for sure.

I'm happy to see that you can be yourself.

Are you, though?

I am. That's why I'm pointing it out.

My stuff about Bron--hold on.

My stuff with Bronwyn is not about Lisa.

And I thought it was worse that you jumped on.

But, like, it's hard if you're on the outs.

I think Lisa--

Who feels on the outs with Lisa right now, besides Bronwyn?

Hello. The very next day after New York,

Lisa went online and started

calling me a liar again, and it was horrible.

And you didn't do anything online?

I haven't done one thing. I stayed off.

I think that's a little hypocritical.

-I have a question. -Oh, God.

Why would you say something so horrific? Like you--Ugh.

I can't even say it. It's so crass.

"You do Jared for money."

***

Is Britani part of the same conversation that we're having?

Because Britani's timing is terrible.

It's almost as bad as her taste in men, which is atrocious.

-I didn't say you did. -Yes, you did.

-I asked you if you did. -You said, "Why do you have sex

with Jared for money?" -I posed it as a question.

-Oh. She didn't say have sex. -She said suck dick.

-I can't even say that. -When you came for my business,

I put it back on you.

And I said, "What do you do for money?"

-What does that have to do-- -And yeah, I'm not proud

that I said, "Do you suck Jared's dick?"

But I'm sorry that I said that.

People shading your business online.

Because it hurt, Britani.

You literally out of the blue said, "Britani, you s --"

'Cause you out of the blue

brought up my business, Britani!

No, because you were trying to shade Lisa.

-I was not trying to shade Lisa. -I was defending her.

Then why would you say that when you were, like,

getting dragged on social media? -Oh, my God, Britani.

-Britani. -That is a new low, Whitney.

I'm really disappointed. A real new low.

I had a business that failed. That's it.

***

Justin went all in with me, and now we have nothing.

***

I had a business that failed. That's it.

***

Okay? I don't have a business

pending lawsuits and is in, like, legal turmoil.

I have a business that failed.

I had to fire 30 employees. Do you think that was fun? No.

I failed at something that I was really excited about

that started as a massive success, Britani.

I'm no stranger to the ebbs and flows of business,

but I have never actually had something

that just flat out tanked.

We're talking millions, thousands of customers.

And it's so emotionally hard for me because

I didn't just fail myself.

I failed all my employees.

I failed my customers. I failed my family.

Like, I just feel like

the weight of everyone that this has affected.

I made a bad choice,

and I'm cleaning up all the sh-- from it.

So I don't need my friends bringing

the sh-- on a girls trip and rubbing it in my face.

-I'm sorry, Whit. -So I don't think you are.

'Cause why would you sling mud at me today?

-Why would you bring it up? -I didn't.

Well, I was just defending Lisa.

...don't go there.

I didn't give any facts.

I didn't have any facts about you.

Why are TikTokers that want to get famous off of my failure?

***

I just want you to have the facts.

And I'm not scared to admit it.

And I think that's what I'm alluding to with Lisa

is if she would be a little more open,

she'd probably find friendship where she can lean on,

and people can discuss the truth and not keep up a fake façade.

I think that's fair. I'm really sorry, Whit.

You know, I've had many, many business failures

before Beauty Lab.

You know, we don't talk about our losses.

We don't talk about the failures, you know, ever.

-Everyone talks about the wins. -Yeah.

You know, but the losses is where you learn something.

You should talk about the loss.

I have to say, too, like, it takes a lot of

courage to be an entrepreneur

or to take a risk or to start your own business.

And thanks for being vulnerable and real, because I think

any of us that are in business

or have had our own business know how hard it is.

And I have to watch my back every day

that someone's gonna write a...story.

-I'm not ready for a hug, Brit. -Sorry.

You gotta get all the way through this first.

Well, I still want an apology for the dick sucking.

-Oh, my God. Britani. -I'm done.

She's, like, pouring her heart out.

Sympathy first.

That's not...

They're not mutually exclusive as...

Sympathy first and apology later, Britani.

It doesn't make any sense why Whitney can say

whatever she wants and get away with it,

but then I make the slightest little gaffe,

and I have to fall all over myself apologizing.

What's that about?

Britani, you have, like, come in hot.

I'm just clapping back and standing up for myself.

I felt like I was a punching bag,

and I don't want that anymore.

The one person who was kind to you went after.

Who? You?

I'm not interested.

Meredith, you turned on me on a dime.

Britani, why are you recording the conversation?

You need to leave! I've had enough of you!

-This is insane. -You are vile!

We were good friends, and then all of us--

No, we were never good friends.

-Yes, we were. -We were barely even friends.

-I barely even knew you. -No, that's not true.

-Do not lie. -Oh, lie?

How many times have I talked to you on the telephone, Britani?

Have I ever picked up the phone and called you?

-Yes, yes, you have. -Once?

-Twice. -[laughs]

We're very good friends.

And we went to lunch for a couple hours.

I thought that was nice. Don't laugh.

They talked on the phone twice. [laughs]

-Well, you used me. -Oh, used you.

Oh, yeah, as a punching match with your latent aggression.

Meredith sees me as the weakest link,

and she can just go after me like a target.

I absolutely think that, but she doesn't know me that well.

I don't need a thing from you.

I find you to be absolutely uninteresting.

-I have zero respect for you. -Thanks, Meredith.

-You're a gem. -And so are you, lovely.

-Meredith. -What a sweetheart.

***

-Okay, listen. -Yeah.

I have done a little research on the legend

of Molly Sorensen.

Don't you want to do a little investigating, Mary?

Not really.

Let's go on a little tour and see what we can find.

What if there really is something coming to get us?

Like in any scary movie,

the Black person always gets killed first.

They always die first.

I don't know why, but has anybody else ever noticed that?

-No. Wait. Are you sure? -Yes. Are you kidding me?

-I think we should. -You in?

-I'm in. -If anything happens, scream.

[wolf howls]

***

Locked and loaded. Camcorders ready?

-Yes. -What are we looking for?

Eyes and ears open. Anything spooky?

Stay in tune with yourself. If anything happens, scream.

That's the first rule. Noise is our friend.

[laughs]

[hoots]

Think of the legend of Provo Canyon.

Think of the things we heard at BYU

and heard around the campfire with me growing up.

And most of all,

think of the fact that Molly Sorensen

is still on...the hunt.

WHITNEY: What is that there?

She looks for women with loose morals.

Aah! Don't shine that at me.

MARY: Why are we walking in the mud?

[creature roars]

Did you hear that? I don't like this! Let's go!

[shouting at once]

How do we get back?

I don't know how to get home. How do we get home?

I'm so scared. I don't know what to do.

Can't go forward.

-I think we need to go back. -Turn around.

-This is turn around! -...trying to get us home!

Stop. Stop. You are the one who brought us out here.

-You brought us out here. -I have no phone reception.

I have no nothing. I just want to go home.

-[scream] -What's that?

Oh, my God. What is that? What is that? I gotta go.

-Meredith? Meredith? -Meredith!

-[screech] -[clatter]

[screams]

***

In a house ruled by image, truth is the only scandal.

Stop with your lies.

I have no secrets.

Say it one more time, I'm gonna lose my mind.

Gossip grows like mold in this family.

-We all need to own things. -Tell me the truth.

Everyone wore guilt in their eyes.

We have to be honest about this.

-Just tell her. -I'm afraid.

HEATHER: This season on

"The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City"...

It's a week to be Greek!

Go. Go. It's all about forward momentum at this point.

Ladies, we're gonna get you nice and wet

and get you in the water. -The other way around. [laughs]

-How's Robert Jr. doing? -Some days he's good.

Some days he's not.

I know God will work it out.

My husband.

Why do you feel like you're just rebuilding trust?

I don't know.

Why would she say, "Don't tell John I borrowed the money"?

Is this the mystery man that Andrew talks about?

Yeah.

I saw something today about a mistress.

What if I'm wrong, and I'm gonna look like a fool?

He humiliates me.

You questioned every single ----ing thing I have!

You're supposed to be my sister.

-I am your sister. -No, you're not.

Find another one. Okay?

Walk the [bleep] away.

[crying] I've never done anything to them.