Original subtitles

LESLIE: He's back, everyone! LARRY: Oh, how I've missed this.

LARRY: Yeah! LESLIE: Hey, Larry, wait for me.

Raise your head or I'll jump on it.

- Hey. - Fish coming in!

(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

Spiros' wife had an affair with Basil? Silly Bas?

Oh, don't. I feel so guilty about it.

Leslie was only trying to help Spiros and I be together.

He's been cycling around, desperately trying to find Spi...

- Hey, darling. - Hello.

Ah, my travels were eye-opening, thanks for asking.

Ugh, Gerry!

I was approached in Athens to work for British Intelligence.

I said no, of course.

- Or did you? - Yes, I did.

I'd love to be a spy, can you put my name forward, please.

- The start of war... - No, don't.

I don't need to be a spy, I combat idiocy through my art.

But I thought we could put on a play to celebrate me being back.

- Let's do Porgy and Bess. - No, we're too white.

- Yeah. - LARRY: I've written a play.

It's the Odyssey adapted to tell our story since we came to Corfu.

Well, I'm not doing it. The theatre's daft.

That's a shame, I had you down for Odysseus, the hero.

(LESLIE SIGHS)

I need a distraction. I'll play him.

- (GERRY CHUCKLES) - LOUISA: Well, I did bring you all here,

on an epic Greek journey which we are still on.

LARRY: Very good. LOUISA: Thank you.

Oh, just to update you, Europe's on the brink of war.

Another reason to do a rip-roaring theatrical satire

on the folly of battle.

Yes, but this is the safe end of Europe.

Hardly. Italy's invaded Albania.

That's only two miles over the water.

But we're all ignoring it.

We're all back together and we're not going anywhere.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(GROANS)

Aren't you interested in the world, mother?

There's been too much going on around here.

The world's come a poor second. (BLOWS)

You can't live your life in denial.

If you had lived through the Great War,

you'd be less keen to discuss a new one.

And more keen on innocent pleasures

like spoon making.

(KNOCK AT DOOR)

THEO: The returning belletrist.

The dapper, bewhiskered polymath.

Ah, the curse of over-education.

Theo, we'll talk later. I must finish my play.

Oh, you're God, by the way.

Ooh, praise be.

(CHUCKLES) How are you?

A little wistful since finding this.

LOUISA: Four years and twice the size.

(SIGHS) Do me a favour, supreme being,

stop the years from rushing by. (LAUGHS)

- (CHILDREN SPEAKING IN GREEK) - GERRY: This is a python.

I was given her by a retiring pet-shop owner.

Asian geese, they're another pair that breeds for life,

unlike a lot of humans.

Galini my Greek friend will explain that in her beautiful way.

(SPEAKING GREEK)

Sit down, please.

I have an announcement.

Hmm.

I've learnt a lot about myself over the last few months.

I'm more mature and less stupid than I suspected.

Did you not notice?

Yes. I'll shout out if I disagree about anything.

Okay. But in one way, I'm not yet a woman.

And I want to correct that

by giving myself to Nikos.

You're brilliant as a fish, any thoughts as a mother?

(STUTTERING) Do you love Nikos?

I find him enormously attractive.

And making love is supposed to be huge fun.

Can't really remember.

I said no to Zoltan even though he was very keen,

to put it mildly.

There are times I thought he'd explode.

I don't really need to know the ins and outs...

And I'm wondering, "What am I waiting for?"

I forgot the corkscrew. Sorry.

Another idea that seemed good when you started.

Leslie Durrells.

That's really not fair, Spiros.

I only did it so that you could be with my mother.

Oh, you might swallow bits of glass and die.

(GULPS) Don't care.

Well, my mother cares about you.

Thanks.

It's easier here, living on the beach.

Just me and the seagulls.

There's nothing stopping you and my mother being together.

Surely. I mean, apart from pride.

Pride has a poor reputation, but I like it.

Without it, I am just a homeless taxi driver.

No, that's rubbish.

No, I know your problem.

You've loved my mother ever since you met her.

And you feel guilty because...

Because that's what broke your marriage.

And the only cure for that

is to stop feeling guilty and feel happy.

By coming back to the house and being with her.

Please.

(BELL TOLLING)

(MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY)

(SINGING IN GREEK)

So, we open our play on Odysseus,

the foremost fighting hero of Greek mythology,

with your crew.

Your ship lands among the magical lotus eaters

where travellers eat fruits and lose thoughts of home.

- We get it. - It's like Corfu. Yes.

But where's Leslie? He's supposed to be doing the stage management.

Uh, Luga, where did you get these?

LUGARETZIA: I borrowed them.

We have actors in my family.

- Oh, that's fabulous. - No.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(MUTTERING)

Nikos must be in the play.

- LARRY: Must? - Yes.

- I will do the music. - He's really musical.

(METAL CLANGING)

Well, um...

We can work on that.

Oh, by the way,

congratulations on your forthcoming union.

(KNOCK AT DOOR)

Ah, the Durrells Players, back despite popular demand.

And you're in it, too.

Sven has agreed, and your husband.

Oh. Oh, he'll love that. What parts?

- You, a siren. - Obviously.

- And the wind god, your husband. - Oh.

You've heard about him then.

Spiros, I've missed you.

I really wasn't pushing you away from your wife.

Marriage is...

Well, as we know, it's precious.

Well, I'm realising that even precious things end.

We all love a sunset, but only a fool tries to chase it

- around the world. - (CHUCKLES)

Look at you with your nature metaphors. (CHUCKLES)

Mrs Durrells,

you deserve the finest everything,

including language.

I'm going to ask you formally,

and forever,

to call me by my first name.

- Louisa. - (LAUGHS)

Louisa...

- Louisa. - (LAUGHS)

What does it mean?

I believe it means

"Famous warrior."

Worrier?

Warrior.

I am...

Meaning a basket for carrying seeds.

- Hmm. - (CHUCKLES)

LUGARETZIA: Mr Halikiopoulos is needed on stage.

I'm in your play?

All are. There is no escape.

(SPEAKING GREEK)

(SPIROS SPEAKING GREEK)

Mrs Durrell, while you're alone, might I have a word?

Theo, try as you may with your grave face,

you cannot end my sunny mood.

My friends in Athens say

the political situation in Greece is dire.

Pressures in Europe are mounting.

But we're not leaving until we absolutely have to, if ever.

Well, I'm glad, but I have to say...

I don't want to break Gerry's heart,

but he should dismantle his zoo.

No.

THEO: Otherwise if the worst happens,

he may have to just abandon his animals.

Look at me.

I'm sorry, but you must be ready to go if things change.

MAN ON RADIO: Benito Mussolini and Herr Hitler

have pledged not to invade Greece...

(SQUAWKING)

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

The Italian invasion of Albania

has caused doubt on these assurances.

- (CLEARS THROAT) Gerry. - GERRY: Theo.

- I don't want to have to say this... - That's just what I said to Larry.

"Woe and thrice woe."

Nobody says that.

I suggested, "Bloody hell!"

- "Nightmare!" - (CHUCKLES)

What I was thinking,

you might thin out your zoo a little.

What? Why?

Because...

I suddenly thought it was looking rather crowded.

Well, that's just because you live alone.

You could move a dozen wildebeest into your place

and you'd hardly notice.

Apart from the broken furniture.

(LAUGHS) Well, good one.

Some might need to spread their wings while they can,

however much we'd like to keep them here.

- (SIGHS) - What's your problem?

I have to make a mask for a Cyclops.

He's only got one eye, apparently. Ridiculous.

- You should be doing this. - I'm busy.

I'm researching how girls around the world celebrate becoming a woman.

So, there's a lot about being watched by the village,

which we won't be doing.

I think I'll keep it simple. Incense. White robes before,

red robes after.

Yeah, do what you feel is best.

Good luck, you two.

Hang on to your hats.

Shall I bring you some prophylactics from the surgery?

No. I borrowed some.

You borrowed some?

Great.

LESLIE: Good. Right, Spiros, let's see how this looks.

Um, Larry?

SPIROS: How do I look?

I've done the best I can with my limited knowledge

and interest.

A visit from the Corfu Police.

Always a pleasure. I hope.

Hello, everyone.

- Leslie. - Lambros.

- I see you've been promoted. - Yes.

Time to be a serious policeman at these serious times.

In the name of the Greek government,

I order you to surrender your wirelesses.

- LOUISA: Why should we give you... - We don't have a wireless.

Aren't you a bit tiny to be a copper?

I know you do.

And I will come back tomorrow for it.

Or you risk prison.

Yes, do they not have a minimum height requirement for the Corfu Police?

No, nor maximum stupidity.

Oh, all right. He's just doing his job.

I will take this.

It is also for propaganda.

LOUISA: Oh, Larry.

How will you survive without your typewriter?

Some things are more important even than writing.

But this is all worse than I thought.

MAN ON RADIO: The Greek regime has maintained

a vigorous deadly communist stunt in recent years.

The accusations of fascist sympathies has been denied.

In Germany members of the Hitler Youth

have been instructed they may not eat ice creams in public.

Ah, Nikos.

I think tomorrow might be our night.

Don't you think? After the play.

A breathtaking encore.

Cast of two.

You told everyone you're giving me your maidenhead.

No, maidenhood.

Maidenhead is in Berkshire, I think.

I only told my mother.

And Leslie.

And Florence.

And the egg woman at the market.

You're right, I did tell a lot of people.

- Break a leg. - Theo, don't...

I'm regretting going public about the whole virginity thing.

It is quite rare that it's publicised in advance.

Is it?

Margo.

LARRY: I've hidden the wireless.

So, if the police arrive at the house,

stick to the idea that we've never had one.

We've never had a house?

Never had a wireless.

I thought you said you've become more mature.

Yes, I'm wondering about that now.

More theatre things from my family.

Woeful timing, but I have to go.

So, I'm leaving you in charge of the play.

Me?

Yes.

Don't do that "I'm just a dim bloke" routine.

You're as bright as anyone here.

I'll be back soon.

This is silly, but he's normally such a bastard.

LARRY: It's a lovely day.

MAN: That is not relevant.

(DISTANT EXPLOSIONS)

LARRY: What are my orders?

You want me to do this because it's looking bad out there isn't it?

- THEO: Yes. - (PELICAN GRUNTS)

You've been so good to me, Theo.

But who knows, I'm a member of the optimist club.

They're all in it.

I'm trying to see it to setting them all free,

but it feels more like losing a lot of friends.

THEO: I know.

Galini will be so upset when she finds out.

And all our visitors.

THEO: You've passed your enthusiasm on to so many people.

It's been a huge celebration of animal life.

So, some are ready to go back into the wild

and others need human homes.

Oh, don't worry, Roger, you're family.

(SNIFFLES AND WHISTLES)

(LUGARETZIA MUTTERING IN GREEK)

Plays are brilliant.

Oh, we should get a good audience.

I asked Argos our postman to tell everyone.

They know the play's in English?

(LAUGHS) Yes. I said we'd do big self-explanatory gestures.

You go back to England

or not?

Not, Lugaretzia.

Nikos.

I'm sorry.

I made you look like a performing monkey and turned a private moment into...

Well, a minor local event.

You're right.

Making love for the first time should be natural and spontaneous.

Thank you.

So let's not go ahead with it.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Mother, I've decided to call off the, you know...

Shenanigans with Nikos.

You're right.

Maybe we should be really in love.

Like you and Spiros.

Oh, is it that obvious?

Yes, it is.

Well, good.

So, you'll save yourself for your wedding night?

I will if you will.

LESLIE: Can I have all actors for rehearsal, please?

Now, God is missing so we'll be starting with scene six

- in which the sorceress, Circe... - I prefer "Wise woman."

Uh, not interested.

When she turns Odysseus' crew into pigs.

Oh, Galini, perfect timing. You could be Gerry.

Get ready to be turned into a pig.

Now, the meaning of this scene,

uh, is that health provision on Corfu is decidedly patchy.

But Florence at the surgery has been a god send.

Uh, no time for meaning. From the top!

- (DRUM ROLL) - LAMBROS: Good morning.

I have come to confiscate your wireless.

We told you, we haven't got one.

But we could all sing you a song

if you're after a little light music.

The time for joking

- is over - Hmm.

Perhaps I should stop your play

as it is also propaganda.

(SPEAKING GREEK)

You'd be superb if you fancied a part.

No, my part is police officer.

Well, I'm sure you are due an afternoon off.

Hmm?

Oh, that's it.

- That is spot on. - (ALL EXCLAIMING)

- Thank you. - MARGO: You're a handsome man.

(CAR HONKING)

- Maybe just a little... - Yes.

- Do you want me to take it up? - (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

SPIROS: Louisa.

Let's go for a drive.

When I say drive, I don't mean drive.

We can't. I'm in a play and so are you.

Oh, yes.

But afterwards.

Where do you wanna go?

To heaven.

- I know the way. - (BOTH LAUGH)

- (BELL RINGS) - (SPEAKING GREEK)

Same to you.

- Telegram. - Oh. Yeah.

What has happened?

What's wrong?

(STUTTERING) Go inside, darling. I'll be in in a moment.

Go on. Go on.

Basil's been killed.

In Albania.

Just for being English.

Oh, goodness.

"Always take the scenic route," he said.

"What's the hurry?"

Now I think there is a hurry.

You must take your family back to England.

LOUISA: Basil didn't understand the risks.

So, now we do.

I'm afraid we have to leave Corfu.

I've been told there's a special chartered ship,

leaves tomorrow.

A safe way back.

I don't think the play's really the thing now, do you?

We've got lots of decisions to make quickly

and a lot of goodbyes to get through.

No.

We should do the play.

It was always a celebration of our time here.

Now it means even more.

Come with us.

You loved America, you'll love England.

We still have a future.

You don't have much time.

Go and make everyone happy.

The way you made me happy.

(GEAR CHANGES)

Okay, so, this is the land of the Dead Sea

- in which Odysseus... - Odysseus is visited

by his deceased loved ones

and heroes from the past.

(MAKING EERIE SOUNDS)

AUNT HERMIONE: Come on, dear,

self immersion's never attractive.

You have a family to whip into shape.

I know it's sad to be leaving,

but we all roll on, don't we?

Alive or dead.

BASIL: Who am I playing?

I do a very good wild boar impression if that can be squeezed in.

(GROWLING)

- LESLIE: Mother? - (GASPS)

(SNIFFLES)

Leslie, you should be the hero.

It was always your part.

You'll be fabulous.

Looks like it could be the last evening in Corfu for some of us here so,

well, let's enjoy it, shall we?

- (ALL MAKING EERIE SOUNDS) - (DRUM ROLL)

(WHISPERING)

Why does the play make you so nervous?

LESLIE: You're all so artistic.

I see a tree,

- and you lot see... - Broccoli.

What?

Trees look like upside down broccoli.

But think of all you've done since we came here.

You can do anything you set your mind to.

I can't.

I can't even have Daphne.

I still miss her.

Quite nostalgic.

Even for Aunt Hermione and your Zoltan.

Me, too, actually.

I wrote to him saying I have a boyfriend and it's becoming serious.

And hoping he had a nice girlfriend

- but not meaning it. - Hmm.

Mother and Spiros seem very upset.

Yeah.

Adults can be very ploddy at getting what they want.

LESLIE: I know.

I told mother to go and find Spiros on the beach.

(LOW THUDDING)

What's that noise?

The house breathing.

We know it so well.

Feels like a living thing.

(BLEATING)

I, I am Odysseus.

Is a dream come true for me.

He loves the amateur theatre.

At medical school, my Hippolytus made the audience weep openly.

Anyone surprised by that?

Where have you been, Larry?

Shall we do warm-up vocals?

(SPEAKING GREEK)

Come on, darling, join me.

(SPEAKING GREEK)

- How are you feeling? - I don't want to leave.

I keep thinking about Zoltan.

Where does Turkey stand in the war?

Well, I don't know anything about the war.

(BOTH YAWNING)

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

(GONG CHIMING)

(WHISPERS) What is it?

(WHISPERING) I'm Odysseus.

I am Odysseus.

Come from across the sea

fearing nobody.

- Ready for all... - LESLIE: And ready

for all.

MARGO: And we, the crew.

Willing and devoted.

This island is lush

- and fine. - Better. Better.

- Luga, mask down. - LESLIE: Here is a native.

Here.

- No, no, Luga. - Here is a native!

Go!

How strange and exotic she is to us.

(SPEAKING GREEK)

What the heck is she saying?

GERRY: I don't know.

We must learn this beautiful language.

Be circumspect in this new land...

(CHOMPING)

- Uh-oh. - (CROWD LAUGHING)

I love you.

I love you.

I wish it could just be us

together on this desert island.

We might need a log cabin and a bed

for us, not too big,

so that we're always touching.

I can't go with you to England.

No, you must. You can.

I cannot abandon my children and my country, now of all times.

No.

(LOUISA SOBBING)

What will I do without you?

What you did before.

You'll be beautiful

and complicated.

And a mother to your wonderful, peculiar children.

What will I do without you?

You'll go on

spreading your magic and I won't be here.

You will be here.

Has it all been for nothing?

The waiting, the crying and the longing?

Would you change it for us never having met?

(CROWD EXCLAIMING)

Are you having a good time?

- Not as good as me. - (CROWD EXCLAIMING)

(SHOUTING IN GREEK)

It's a comic interlude by a priapic satire

representing sexy Corfu.

(CROWD BOOING)

It's allowed. It's in Sophocles.

(INDISTINCT SHOUTING IN THE DISTANCE)

MAN: Margo!

- (CROWD MUTTERING) - MAN: Margo!

Wait for me!

Oh, my God, it's Zoltan.

- LESLIE: Behold... - MARGO: Zoltan!

- LESLIE: Poseidon. - ZOLTAN: Margo!

- MARGO: Zoltan! - LESLIE: Come timely from the sea.

Good work.

LESLIE: Thank you.

(SPEAKING GREEK)

Sorry. Problem with the engine.

Margo, I hope I'm not too late.

(SPEAKING GREEK)

MARGO: Zoltan!

ZOLTAN: Don't give yourself to another man.

I am here now.

(CROWD CHEERING)

And that's the interval.

(SPEAKING GREEK)

GERRY: Please take him home with you.

Please don't eat them.

Use their eggs or just take them for walks. Galini.

Gerry, find a nice home for Martha.

For you, sir.

- (GONG RINGS) - LESLIE: Years passed,

youths became men.

- Sorry. - In your own time.

And men

became warriors.

(DRUM ROLL)

Have you two been...

That was quick.

I'm saying nothing.

I'll never be the same.

Ugh.

Adventures blossomed.

Wild creatures were tamed.

And lost affections

were borne bravely.

How many great loves are we allowed in this lifetime?

Three?

Five, or...

Just one?

Or maybe it's more like a dozen.

Bloody actors.

Mum.

Come on.

Come on. Mum.

As you're all here,

tomorrow we leave this enchanted isle.

You know it's been good when the idea of leaving

makes your heart seem to stop.

Hear, hear.

You have put up with us Durrells

like a mother with an awkward baby.

You've lost your temper with us at times

and we with you.

And now we're ready to leave home.

We British are reluctant Europeans.

But if there has to be a war,

my one wish is

is that we realise, when it's all over,

that we need to love each other

just a little bit more.

I'm afraid I haven't been following the play, owing to

a personal matter.

But I hear it's very good, so thank you, Larry.

Oh, and do read my novels.

(APPLAUSE)

And it's a perfect reminder

that for us this has been quite a journey.

A bit like the Odyssey, with nicer people.

(ALL LAUGH)

LARRY: Speaking of the Odyssey.

- Come on. - (MUSIC RESUMES)

And so the crew set sail,

but soon

an eerie and seductive singing.

(EERIE VOCALISING)

LOUISA: I can't believe it's our last day here.

LESLIE: Can we now, of all times, enjoy the present?

GERRY: Well that's killed the conversation.

How is Nikos bearing up?

Oh, Zoltan's taking him out for a drink.

I think I handled it quite badly.

There has been a lot of messy love since we got here.

(LOUD CRUNCHING)

Oh, noisy?

Thank you for being so grown up about your animals, Gerry.

He tell me he will get them back in the morning and put on boat.

- Larry. - Not all of them. (LAUGHS)

All right, conquering hero.

Hmm, could be worse

as we're about to swap paradise for Bournemouth.

- Oh, shush. - SPIROS: Leslie,

you were magnificent.

ALL: Very well done.

MARGO: You were brilliant, Les. LESLIE: Thank you.

I...

I can't find a good way of saying this, but

I'm not coming with you.

- I'm staying here on Corfu. - Well, why?

LARRY: I spent some time today with

an associate

who has a business.

Oh, sod it, with a spy.

My intelligence contact.

- (ALL EXCLAIM) - Shh...

MARGO: Is that why we're sitting in the sea so nobody else can hear.

No, because it's too bloody hot. It's always too hot in Greece.

I'm looking forward to frost and a big coat.

Please come home with us, Larry.

I can't.

When they start trying to take away your freedom of speech,

you have to stop talking,

you know what I mean, and help.

Let's raise a glass.

Not that, Gerry. Water.

SPIROS: To us all

and these sacred years...

And the future.

ALL: To the future. LESLIE: Sacred years.

(ALL SPEAKING GREEK)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)