Original subtitles

The American Movie Factory

Presents a film

Made by

THE NAKED A psychological film

...and God created a woman and a man...

and they were both naked...

and they were not ashamed of it.

The Book o! Genesis

You have to copy it from this column to that one.

It has to balance. Do you understand now?

Not quite boss

Then stop bothering me.

Good morning, dear.

You think so?

Sure, I would say five kilos?

Well, three and a half.

But you are not very tanned

Because the weather was not very good

But at least you've rested from your man and family.

But I feel so tired already today, I can tell you it still hurts here.

Where?

Here, in the back and my legs get so tired.

L'll sit down.

Sure.

And who's that?

A new girl, assigned to us.

Well, your departmenfs getting bigger,

Not really, they have just given us more computers

Why, they just take up more room

You can arrange everything by phone.

You pick it up say “hello, good morning...

It has too many keys.

And so she's been sitting down all morning.

And by phone she would just dial the number and arrange everything

Right...

Good morning, boss, shall I make you some tea?

Have you finished that spreadsheet yet?

Well, not yet, but nearly

Ok, if anyone asks, l'm in a meeting.

All right, boss.

How's the work going, Marta?

Very well, boss, the manager here explains everything.

Very well l'm leaving, then.

Be careful of that dog.

Good morning.

Yes? l'd like to vaccinate my dog.

Here?

Do we vaccinate dogs, Krysia?

Of course not, boss.

Previously, when I had Fly, I used to come here his vaccination's

Only the layout of the desks was different.

Oh, but how long ago was that?

There used to be a plant there and that desk wasn't here at all...

Oh, leave me alone...

Why is he barking like that?

Quiet, Fly.

Is he called Fly also? sure, what else would I call him

Who cares about the name of some dog

Since my wile died, he's all I have left

And what breed is he?

We go everywhere together, for walks, shopping...

I prefer cats.

Yes, only that cats smell

Yes, and some are so ugly...

Persians are pretty. They have nice eyes.

Persians have different eyes, green...blue

The lady will vaccinate you in a moment and we'll go home.

We'll buy milk and some bread...

Shouldn't he be in a muzzle? people are working here?

L've made a mistake.

Look out with that dog.

There was a notice “vaccination - along the corridor to the lett”.

But there's no notice because someone's taken it off.

But when it was on the door, they were also coming here.

So where should I go?

Along the corridor and on the left.

In the Health Farm I saw a tilm about a dog that could count.

Count? yes and paint...

Fly can count

And at the end it sang a song. Really?

I promise

And what kind of song?

"Black Eyes"

Impossible, dogs don't sing.

Sure it's impossible.

Whafs impossible, I heard it with my own ears.

It sang like that...

What?

Please take away that dog, we can't work here.

Come on Fly, we'll get vaccinated... Then we'll go shopping...

I can't hear anything... yes, now I can.

What? no. lt's not a bank

Who was it, Krysia?

Some guy with a bomb. He thinks this is a bank.

But there's been no bank here for a long time.

Boss, I can't seem to type anything

Are you hitting the right keys?

This one?

Ithink so.

You're right it doesn't work.

But not this one, boss...

I see, doesn't work, either.

Maybe they've cut the power off?

Bozenka, see if that light works?

That seems fine. Whafs wrong then?

How am I going to re-type it all now?

How much is left?

Well this and that...this bookcase

And in this small one, and those in the corridor

But that's nothing. We just have to call Grzegorz

You have plenty of it...Sure, lot of work.

And when you make a mistake, you get a lot of nagging

What?

L'd like to deposit some money.

There you are! Marta, make a notice: “Customers are not served”.

Boss, no one's answering.

Then wait a moment. There's probably no operator in there.

Sure there isn't. After all whafs her name, the receptionist?

Olga?

Yes, Olga. She's gone down to the canteen, I saw her myself.

So what should I do? keep trying.

There's been no bank here for a long time.

No bank?

They're on the seventh floor now.

Seventh or third? No, on the seventh.

I thought it was one floor higher. One floor higher there was another bank.

Oh, good morning. Put me through to Grzegorz, please.

I wanted to deposit my pension. l'm saving for my funeral

Who cares? There's a notice “the office”, isn't there? and no bank.

People are so rude today

Well, nothing works. l've tried.

Such a big one or a small one?

I think nothing's on

No... all right, l'm waiting.

What a chaotic day

lt's like that everyday Martunia, please put the kettle on.

Would you like some coffee, Zosia?

L've had three cups already today...

Tea is healthy.

Right, maybe some tea no, better cottee...

We've run out of coffee, boss...

It can't be helped then, but wash the mugs for us...

All right, boss.

Grzesiek, it's good you're here.

Which computer...?

What do you mean which computer?

And what, doesn't work still? You can't type anything in

Oh dear

You should turn it off and on.

Martunia, what about those mugs?

L'm going.

Are you going to wash them? l'll help you.

Are you new here?

Well? do you like it here? Yes

Have you been to the top floor? There's a great view from up there

Well, my dear? what else was there at this Health Farm?

Oh, they've made up strange things.

There was one Mongolian who told us to press ourselves.

Press? press where?

It depends where it hurts. They thrust needles into us.

In you?

I didn't let them.

Oh, Krysia, but I can show you where to press to lose weight.

Sure.

I want to see, too.

Turn round

Raise your hands and close your eyes

and say “Tong”...

Well, all right and now we bow down to the ground.

Oh my...what about this pressing?

Ouch! it hurts...

Losing weight is hard work.

So thafs why you're so bruised?

What? Me? No, I bumped into a wardrobe door during my stay,

I forgot which side the door opened.

The water's just boiled, I'm coming boss,

Well, we'll see if it helped...

So when are you coming back, Zosia?

Monday.

So you'll have some free time.

It only seems so... I have to tidy the flat, wash the floors.

Everything's neglected, my old man won't do anything.

He has left a lot of dishes in the sink...

Even the windows are dirty. What has he been doing with those windows?

Maybe he's been looking out of the window or something?

Ok what can he see ?

There's just the rubbish bin and a withered old tree.

All men are the same. Sure.

See you later, I'm going to the canteen then off shopping.

Good bye.

How many cups of tea then?

Just count...

Coffee for me, please.

But there's no coffee. then nothing, thanks.

One, two, three. l'll make three then...

Zosia looked good, refreshed...

What kind of health Farm did she go to? They pricked her with needles.

But she's lost weight.

She hasn't changed at all,

No...

What do you mean no... She has a big tummy and bottom

But she's said herself that she's lost weight.

Maybe in her breasts.

Sugar? Three spoonfuls for me.

And none tor me. I start my diet trom today

What do you think you're doing, Bozenka?

Oh my God, boss, what happened to your leg?

The bloody dog's bitten me.

Which one? The one that was here for vaccination?

What else could it be?

It's been acting strangely from the very beginning.

It was so unnaturally excited, wasn't it?

Maybe mad?

You should start working now.

Look, dear, such a stupid beast but understands people.

I think it's fixed now, try typing

Thank you.

So, how about going to the cinema?

Well, I don't know...

Oh, this one, l've seen it. lt's stupid. Shooting all the time...

What...? lt's not this one!

What do you mean?

The one with the jelly monsters

that jumps on people.

The sound is no good, no effects, its rubbish!

But in this one it's different. You'll like it,

Hi, girls. Grzesiek, glad you're here.

Your boys have been naughty at school,

Beaten a teacher or stolen some money trom him.

Is Grzegorz married?

What did you think? smart arse?

Is your boss in? yes, he's shut himself in his room.

A dog's bitten him.

What did he do to the dog?

And what are you doing here, Olga?

I can't stand it over there, the phones keep ringing and ringing,

And they just talk rubbish

When you listen to it, you have a head like that.

And sometimes you just can't face some people in the corridor...

So what do you overhear?

Did you see yesterday's episode?

Sure, she's a bitch, ain't she?

A regular whore, or even worse.

Yet in this morgue it wasn't bad, was it?

I couldn't do that. Her husband's corpse next to her, and she's snogging someone else...

I don't blame her. When ljust hear his voice, I get shivers

Me too, I love watching him.

Those doctors are perverts, aren't they?

They do it everywhere...

In a morgue?

Krysia, your aunt recently died, tell us what it's like.

Very cold, below zero. Unless the fridge is out of order...

See, perhaps it was out of order there -warm, too?

How? He was lying there blue all over. The one who's in the ad played him...

And he's a good actor. Pity he won't be there anymore.

No way. l've read that all dead people are coming back because people want them

What, will they raise them from the dead?

No. They'll be doing some surgery on them.

There will be a big crowd

And that bitch will have three husbands at the same time!

That be too good for her

l've told you, a regular whore. Where do they come from?

You don't think she's the only one 0t that kind, do you?

This series shows the real life, everyone should watch it.

My husband doesn't let me watch it. He says it's crap..

He's stupid. Sure.

My dad also doesn't let me and mummy watch it. He keeps changing channels.

My old man doesn't have the right to decide.

If only he said something against it...!

Krysia... l'm going to see a doctor. I don't think l'll be back today...

All right, boss get some rest.

Something hurts in my leg. Did it have rabbies?

I saw him myself attacking a policeman.

He certainly hadn't been vaccinated!

What are you doing here at this time 0t the day? Why aren't you at reception?

I couldn't connect with any number in the city for at least half an hour.

But l've just come in...

I thought l'd faint, it hurts so much... damn...

l'm going back, boss. Would you like to make a call?

Now you can forget about it

Oh, he's angry today, whafs upset him? Do you have a cigarette?

Help yourself,

We don't smoke here.

Since when?

I got upset.

What has he been telling you in the bathroom?

Me? Who?

What do you mean, who? Grzesiek, of course.

Nothing...

Be careful he's a womaniser

Olga, will you shut up? Right, Bozenka?

Leave me alone...

Ok? A woman needs some tenderness.

There's nothing to be ashamed of. I have seen a movie.

Where one woman lived with gorillas for twenty years.

With gorillas? What are you jabbering about?

Yes, quite a pretty woman, a tall blonde one, it was in Africa.

Didn't she have a husband and children?

No,

And those gorillas accepted her into their family straightaway.

I wouldn't be able to live like that, with an ape.

Why? The children were nice...

What children? Well, the gorilla cubs.

Christ!

And how nice they were, playing, chasing one another.

Fooling around, it was nice to watch.

It's always nicer to look at other people's kids.

Right, true.

Zosia?

Yes. lt's me again, my dear.

Have I lett my postcard trom the the Health Farm here?

I don't think so...

Maybe I lett it at the accounts department...

Olga, in your office the phone is ringing and ringing like mad...

l'm going.

Zoska won't sit down for five minutes.

And on the phone she can talk for hours, keeps the line busy.

As if she had anything to talk about...

And l'll tell you, a secret...

Yes...?

...that she's seeing a man at the Health Farm,

Twenty years younger, judging by his voice.

Youngen?

Yes, he's a driver, works in despatch.

In our firm? No,

But once he brought some tiles to the bank.

Yes, I remember Well, it was then that they met...

Handsome?

I haven't seen him, but judging by voice, he must be quite cute...

Ok! He brought the tiles and you didn't see him?

No! I can just hear them arranging dates...

Who would have thought that, See you.

Wait a minute...

Boss, there's no more room on the page,

Shall I put it on the next one?

This? Yes.

Didn't they teach you about computers at school?

Krysia, the one with the bomb is calling,

Will you answer?

No. She's not in.

Yeahl? Same to you!

What a pig. Unbelievable!

Shall I answer, boss?

We won't answer. Let it ring.

Good morning. Knives in promotion.

What notice? "Salesmen not welcome"

No... It was hanging near the door.

Someone must have taken it off.

25-year warranty, they cut anything,

Everyone says so.

But they use such knives in “The Surgeons”.

Oh, yes, right. Show us.

Ok. One set; thirty Euros. Two sets; titty.

They look alike, don't they?

Will the knife cut through wood?

Absolutely , Even the thickest piece but it would take a while...

Maybe l'll take some for my old man, he'll be using them in the allotment

l'll take a set too.

Good bye.

My dear, l've found it. What?

The postcard l've promised you. Would you like to see it?

Sure.

Why don't you answer the phone? lt's probably that treak again.

Have a look, dear, thafs where I stayed.

Quite smart. Which was your window?

It was on the other side 0t the building.

Can you see this chimney?

This crooked one? No, the high one...

The second window on the left was mine.

Which one, which one...?

The second one, just here, only on the other side.

I can see that there were rooms with balconies, too?

One for three connected rooms.

You could meet people quite easily,

sit down together in the evening, talk.

Have you met someone? l'll tell you later.

L'm going back to Wieska, because my cofiee's getting cold.

Zosia, a phonecall for you. For me? l'm coming.

Take the postcard!

Oh dear? Am I daydreaming or something?

What a bargain! Martunia, pass me the scissors please.

What are you looking at? They're here on Bozenka's desk.

Look, five balls of ice-cream for the price of one.

As many as five? Right.

Different flavours? Sure.

Now, thafs what I call bargain. Five for the price of one.

Not like in our canteen.

Why does Mawgoska never offer a discount?

You're right there, dear.

She often over charges.

Often? Always, boss...

Why are the scales behind her and you can't see it?

But I always lean a bit, and check it.

Me too, but you can't see anything.

And isn't this mug pretty? Have a look, dear.

Beautiful. . .a bargain, too?

Look, boss... ...yes?

Could I leave a bit earlier today, please?

No way, dear.

L'm so unwell, l'm telling you, I think l'll have my period coming.

Take a pill, then. But it doesn't help.

L've worked hard all my life, period or no period,

Listen girls, Zoska's fiance is here.

He's downstairs. Do you want to see him?

Sure! What fun!

L'll tell others!

Where do you think you're going?

Sit down and keep an eye on everything.

Doesn't he look rough, l'd be ashamed to go public with him.

Have you seen how she clung to him?

They don't stop cuddling,

And she's an accountant...

Yeah...

What they must have been doing in this Health Farm.

No wonder she's lost weight...

l've told you she has.

And he's your age. Yes, but looks much older.

Why are you hanging around? Have you finished yet?

Shall I turn on the radio? OK, for a bit.

“Intimate questions”

And another question in our quiz: “Can you get pregnant during a period?”

We're waiting for your calls,

The sponsor of our competition is,

The producer 0t the “White Gull” lotion tor intimate hygiene..

...and we have our first lady

Andrzej. ...so we have a male competitor,

Well, then, whafs the answer? You can't.

Are you sure? Think for a moment: three seconds, two...

Say it! Say it! You can.

The time's up. We're asking our expert.

It does happen.

Menstrual bleeding takes place atter the end 0t the ovulation cycle .

Very good answer. You score one point.

Great.

The second question:

“Can a period start during a sexual intercourse?”

What? The time's running, four seconds...

It can't! You fool, what are you saying!

Think, you have two seconds left... It can, then!

Of course it can! I can hear that someone is prompting.

Well..., yes. And who is so helpful?

My wife and my mother-in-law.

Such help is allowed in our competition,

Andrzej, the main prize is almost yours,

there's just one question left, are you ready?

I am. The question is, are you ready?

“Is it true that men have a special liking for oral sex?”

Time start.

It's obscene. Stop talking shit, mummy.

The time's running... lt's true!

Find something else, Martunia, one can't concentrate...

you've won a lotion for intimate hygiene.

Are you happy? Can I change the prize?

You can't. Oh, fuck...

And now a quiz question for our listeners:

“Can virgins use tampons during a period?”

We'll be back after the break and we'll talk about The Prostate.

It's very difficult for me to live up to this image of an ideal husband,

Father, lover and surgeon in my private life...

Oh, God, it's him! Turn it up!

Quick!

The part in “The Surgeons” series have made you very famous.

How do you deal with it?

What is she asking him about? She should ask about...

Well, it isn't easy.

Well, we have made 1238 episides of the series,

Which gives us 187,243 scenes.

God, what a wonderful voice he has.

I record them and listen very carefully.

I store the cassettes in special fireproof lockers...

You must be receiving thousands of letters?

Why is she interrupting him?

I would like to emphasise that I don't have any surgical education,

Every day I have to make hundreds,

Ot decisions in matters 0t medicine concerning my patients...

You mean viewers. . .?

Why the fuck is she interrupting him!?

Right, sorry, viewers Any advice for our listeners?

Before we turn to a surgeon, in order not to let such situations,

As in our series happen,l would recommend,

Simple methods of prevention:

Pressing the right parts of your body or thrusting needles...

I knew it!

Are you all crazy here? Why doesn't anyone answer the phone?

What are you doing here, boss?

What do you mean, what l'm doing here? Where's my medical card?

Don't you have it at home?

L've searched the whole flat, the doctor didn't want to see me

Because they don't when you don't have the card...

Sure.

Where can it be?

L'm sure it isn't here,

Perhaps in the Personnel Department?

Exactly. Martunia, go to Personnel Department and ask it they have it.

Where's the Personnel Department?

On the ground floor.

Why's he so nervous? Maybe he's got rabies.

He's so pale and has such strange eyes, exactly like this dog's.

Fuck! You can't find anything in here!

Maybe we should call an ambulance?

And we must act quickly, like in “The Surgeons”...

In one episode they brought a patient bitten by a sick tox...

Yes, I remember. And this actor played him, the one with a mole.

But now they've replaced him...

Yeah, there's a different one

But the first one was better... Sure he was...

What a mess! No wonder it can't be found...

Would you like some water, boss?

No thanks.

Ok.

In this series, he also didn't want to drink,

He foamed at the mouth...

Well, my child?

They say the boss has not kept up the payments,

So they stopped the card...

What?

L've hit myself...

Martunia, give me this chair, please.

Put your leg here, it'll be comfortable. We'll call for help.

Oh, thank you, ouch, it hurts...

Who has today's newspaper? Grzesiu.

But he went to school to pick up his children.

But he probably left the paper on his desk, he always does.

Martunia, go and look on Grzesiu's desk.

Which room, boss? What do you mean which room?

Off the corridor where a big ashtray stands.

Near the stationary cupboard.

Right. Hurry up..

Sit down and rest, boss.

...and breathe deeply,

Breathing deeply is the most important thing.

I got it... it was in the rubbish bin...

Show me. We'll find the number.

You read it, Bozenka, I can hardly see.

“Errr erotic massage...” I don't think it's this one.

What an easy number to remember...

Read on, on the bottom 0t the page.

“Errr transport...” No, it's not it, either...

“Removing stones...”, no. Removing stones no.. “Warts” no... “acupuncture”...

Thafs it, acupuncture! Read, my dear.

“Acupuncture, good tor everything a thousand-year Mongolian tradition."

God, thousand years... l've told you.

I can't stand this anymore. But where are you going, boss!

L'll show them in the Personnel Department!

L'll show the payments

There goes the big ashtray...

And now he's kicking the lift door...

And whafs he kicking it for? When the lift's out of order?

He's going nuts...

No, someone's must have taken the "out of order" notice,

And what would someone need a notice for?

They'll steal anything.

Close the door, Martunia, we can't work properly today.

"The Office"

Why are these plants so dry? Martunia, go and water them.

Not trom the kettle, silly. There's fresh water in the bottle.

L've heard that you should talk to flowers, it makes them grow.

I always talk to mine at home.

Me too, only it seems stupid in the office...

It does.

This hanging one too? Yes, but stand on a chair.

Boss, how does this article end? Which one, dear?

The one in which the husband kept yelling at his wile and she finally killed him.

Oh that one... and how was it to end?

She won at the court case. and she was even paid damages.

And what about this one?

Which one?

About dirty hankies.

It turned out that they sniffed those hankies,

But no one could say which one was his wife's and which wasn't.

I thought so. All men are the same.

Thafs obvious,

The air pressure is low today

Maybe you should take a nap, boss?

I don't know...

Have you heard what happened in the Personnel Department?

What?

The girls also bought those knives and he took them and cut them.

Who? Your boss. then the police took him away.

Oh God!

He rushed in like a maniac! He was looking for some card.

And today Wieska is working in Personnel.

So he grabbed a knife and wanted to scalp her.

And what, did he?

He didn't manage, because he cut his hand.

And we haven't seen anything.

See! Everyone's seen it. What are you doing here anyway?

Hey, young one, give me a cigarette.

He used to be such a calm man, the boss of ours.

Calm? He was struggling so much that two men had to pin him down.

God!

And he kicked one of them and broke the whole doorframe...

Jesus Christ...!

He was resisting so much that that he made scratches all over the door.

Staszek the caretaker said that he had did a lot 0t damage.

And who's going to mend it, because he'doesn't get paid for it...

And what was the reason?

Stand here and don't move. What a crowd there is downstairs.

Look, who's come to visit us... What big boys, exactly like their Dad.

There's no one to baby sit. I don't want to stay here.

Nor do I, it stinks here. Shut up or l'll hit you...

And you must be Oskar? No, he's Oskar. l'm Konrad.

Hi, Konrad. Why are you lying?

Little rascals... your blood...

...what...

Well, l'm going back to work.

Well, how was it at school? ls everything alright?

What? About that teacher.

I don't know.

The teacher fell down himself. They were just standing there.

And the money? lt's untrue, too.

He doesn't know himself, how much he's had.

Oh, a maths teacher...

And the homework he sets them is very difficult.

He's lately given them one like this.

A train had twelve carriages, they stole four at a station...

It lost them.

...well, lost, whatever, anyway, when it was approaching this...

...point B...

So how much was left if there were sixty boxes in each carriage.

...packets...

...well, packets and in each carriage there were twelve packets...

God, I don't understand a thing!

But there were two kinds of boxes, right...

Dad, stop...

because these teachers can't teach properly.

Yes, and thafs what this maths teacher's like.

Teachers have too much free time, thafs why.

Sure. Look, winter holiday, summer holiday...

holiday breaks... Right, holiday breaks...

...twice a year... and Teacher's Day.

No one sends their kids without flowers to school on that day.

And two months of summer holiday.

But two months. Who else has two months?

When I don't come to work for just one day, what a fuss there is...

Right, or you're late a few minutes.

Don't you start again...

And they have one-year paid holiday.

For child raising?

It's a privilege for difficult work.

Difficult work! Counting boxes...

Oh god, leave it alone.

Oh, a computer... do you have any games?

Don't disturb me now.

You can do it easier... with this key...

Go away, l'm typing

Martunia, let the children play... you'll manage to type it later.

Don't move this cupboard, be careful with that plant!

Wrong date...

Don't open it, leave it.

Wow, cool knives!

Oh, a card, die.

God, it's the boss's medical card. Where did you find it?

Maybe we could sellotape it together?

What a piece of junk. Dad, it's crashed.

It cuts even wood!

Hello? Bank? Sure it's bank...

God! Hang up this phone...

Hurrah! A survival knife!

Show me! Fuck off!

God! He's cut off the desk leg.

It can be mended, l'll put something under it.

Do you have a book?

Children, go and play on the corridor.

Can we, Dad?

Go to Olga, the receptionist.

Sure!

Leave that knife!

Ok.

What about my computer?

But l've told you, turn on and off...

But it doesn't...

Well, then unplug it.

Ok. And now plug it in.

Ok.

It still doesn't work. What the hell.

Oh, it doesn't work because the cable's been cut.

We'll take the one from the kettle.

Dad! Olga's thrown us out.

Don't interupt me now.

Can we play on the stairs?

Ok.

Damn, this one's cut, too.

And what now?

L'll pop over to storage and find another one.

They're devils, not children. Look, they broke my knife.

Do you have a warranty, 25 years...

l'll take it home and my husband will weld it in the workshop.

Maybe we should throw out this card?

Won't he need it? What for? he will only blame us...

Martunia, take it and throw it into the waste paper basket.

Boss? Yes.

If the boss isn't coming back today, how about watching yesterday's episode.

They're repeating it now...

Sure we could. Marta, go and get the TV.

Where from, boss?

From the boss's room.

The big one?

No, the small one.

And bring some coffee, too.

Where is it?

In the desk drawer, on the left.

And she can bring some sugar, too. Right! Take some sugar, too.

I won't manage to take everything at once.

So you'll go twice.

Shall I take cream?

Does he have any cream left over from after his Birthday?

Connect the aerial,

This one's broken, shall take the one from the big one?

Of course, there's no other.

What a dull kid...

You can't boil water... Oh, Grzegorz, it's good you're here...

We'll put everything back...

And whafs going on here?

We're going to watch yesterday's episide.

OK, l'll watch with you.

Everything8 fine, you can carry on working.

OK, water is boiled.

Three spoonfuls for me and a lot of cream.

Three sugar's for me, too.

L'll have three, then, too.

I like coffee in a glass.

At least you know it's coffee.

Damn, it's boring.

Who's interested in it?

Why? Exercises are very healthy.

I clean the flat, I shop and cook,

I don't need anymore exercise,

Yet I like to move a bit in front of the TV...

Oops! l've spilt it on me

Come on, Krysia, try it with me.

Martunia, join us.

In line... and one, two... and one, two...

They should film us.

Look at me!

Now me!

And me!

It really makes you relaxed, this exercise.

Look, it's starting...

"The Surgeons"

I had to operate on him.

It was him who killed your parents while driving intoxicated.

Would you like anything else? Juice, please. And you, darling?

- The same. - All right.

He's made you an orphan and you want to save his life?

I can't avoid it... l'm a surgeon...

He's a bad man. He hasn't even apologized for killing your parents.

You can't label everyone as bad.

You have to find a spark of goodness in everyone.

But he's been bad all his life. He killed my parents, too...

Did he? He did. It was my aunt that raised me.

We've been married for so long. Why haven't you told me before?

Because I was ashamed.

How could you! You know I love you.

The juice for you.

If you save him now, you must know he'll do harm to you again.

I know, but my conscience doesn't let me do anything else.

On the other hand...

DADDY MUMMY

FATHER-IN-LAW MOTHEFi-IN-LAW

I don't know what to do. Give me strength.

Oh, no, not in a moment like this...

Well, what then, will he operate or not?

Why isn't it working?

Grzesiu, do something!

The aerial on the roof is broken.

Can't you mend it?

I don't have the key to the trap-door.

We should call the caretaker?

They won't pick up the phone.

I wouldn't operate on him.

You're wrong there. Thafs why you couldn't play in such a series.

Yes, I could.

Yeah, sure. And who would you play?

A surgeon, who else? I thought that a patient.

What patient? The one with the tube...

Oh, come on! Bozenka, you would play my wife.

Come here, l'll show you how we could talk...

Stop being foolish...

Marta, you come here, then...

Can I, boss? Go, my child.

To cut him or not to cut him?

Well... not to cut...

You must call me “darling”. Right!

Give me strength, darling. But how?...darling...

Thafs how...!

God! I knew it! What are you doing here...?

You pervert! The children are running alone on the roof...

What do you mean, on the roof?

They've pulled out the whole aerial! ...you pimp!

...but darling, the children...

Fuck. Let them know what kind of father they have!

Eva, let's go out, l'll explain everything.

L've just got here and what are you doing!

Why are you hanging around with this wire?!

Who's going to pay for it!

Go away! Can't you see l'm talking to my wife?!

You bastard!

But, darling...

Don't you darling me! You keep sitting there all the time!

...but their computer has broken

Quiet!

He deserved it long ago.

She's a saint, this wife of his.

But we were just pretending...

Pretending! To deprive a wife of a husband.

- And children of a father...

Maybe l'll go and explain to Ewa?

A couple must sort everything out themselves.

You'll understand when you grow up.

Well, I don't know how l'm going to walk home today...

Zoska, you've been drinking?

Just a glass...

Yeah, sure!?

Nice show we have there in the corridor?

Grzesiu's wife got a bit upset. l've seen it.

And don't worry, kid.

You think so?

Wives are always jealous.

Zoska, what are you talking about?

When people are in love, they're together, and if not, bye-bye.

And not for hanging around and spying...

She's come for the children. They were running alone on the roof...

She wants an excuse to check on her husband

If the young have a liking for each other, why interrupt them?

After all, it's afeeling. Right?

The first day at work is the worst one.

Kryska, you spend too much time sitting at your desk...

You should go to the Health Farm

Bozenka would take care of everything, wouldn't you?

Sure.

And the people that go there are important, responsible, etc...

discreet... you might meet someone...

I want to go to the Health farm too

You have to arrange it - only one at a time

What am I supposed to do there, with all those ill people?

The Heath Farm is not a morgue.

Look at me! I have a nice figure, don't I?

Sure.

And good complexion! Good memory...

Oh, Zosia...

I mean, madam you've left your bag in my car.

Oh, really! So I have forgotten it? Oh dear!

So you've gone for a ride?

Yes, in the car park

Jurek taught me how to change gears.

You?

There are twenty four of them.

First, second, third...

Second was wrong, Zosia.

First, second, third with the thumb...

What kind of car is it?

It's a lorry

Twelve cylinders, five hundred horses! And what a big cabin!

There's everything in there:

expresso, TV set, a bed for long routes.

L'll be going then.

Excuse me.

Maybe you'll stay for a while, Jurek, we'll have some coffee.

No, no, Jurek must go

No, why, l'll manage.

l'd like some more coffee.

But you've had some in the lorry.

But I haven't tried yours yet.

Martunia, go and wash the cups.

All right, boss.

Are you good at computers?

No, l'm just learning...

l've delivered computers a few times

A nice load, well packed, can't rot...

Do you know this joke?

Three virgins agreed to try and see who can do it for the longest time.

What are they doing there ?

L'll go and see.

Sit here, dear. Why are you so nervous? Tell us more about the Health Farm

No, l'll go and check.

You've said yourself that if young people have a liking for each other.

Fuck. ...!

Boss, l'm afraid Zosia and Jurek, won't come for coffee.

I thought so, child. Sit down and keep typing.

Oh, boss, there's a good view of them from here.

T seems that Zoska is fitter atter going to the Health Farn

They're doing the second lap and she's still catching up.

She should be careful now, because he's opened the door of the car.

She should have ducked.

She's not wearing her glasses

That car has fast accelaration. Zoska's stood up quickly

God! He's gone through the red light. did you see it?

She won't manage to catch up now.

Sure. Twelve cylinders, five hundred horses.

Who could race with such a beast

Hello? Yes, it's me where should I be?

Don't bother me now, because l'm busy.

Your husband?

Who else could it be? Back trom the allotment and hungry.

I wonder what l'll cook him for dinner.

Boss, l've finished the first page.

Keep typing, then.

It's so boring in here, girls...

We have work to do.

Zoska's sitting on the stairs and crying.

She's to blame.

And Grzesiek has a black eye

l've got an itch. ls the weather going to change?

You'll have visitors. l'm not expecting any...

Do you know this one:

“The husband comes back from a business trip and finds his wife with a lover...

So he says: “Whafs this man doing in our bed?”

And she answers: “Wonders, darling, wonders!”

Why Bren? you laughing?

Because it's stupid.

Stupid? its simple, wife with a lover, and...

ls the aerial working? No

They've just mended it

So maybe it is.

Then check it. I must fill out this form

Martunia, turn on the TV.

It's working Ok,

Wait a moment! Look, it's our boss in the news!

Turn it up.

I can't. Then move away, we can't see.

Oh, thafs my door.

This TV makes you look so fat. Yes, and older.

No, he looks quite OK, only he shouldn't frown so much

Hurts, sure! He's so mean, thafs why.

Those policemen, aren't they tall and handsome.

But on TV it looks just the opposite, if you're big you look smaller

and when you're big you don't look big at all.

I don't get it.

You don't have to. lt's just the way it is.

Wait, if l'm shorter, then l'm taller on TV?

Hi, what are you watching? And what are you so happy about?

Why should I worry? I have not killed anyone?

How's the computer, Marta, working?

Working, leave the girl alone.

What a nasty eye you have.

Who cares? I'm been on tv! well I don't give a damn.

You're stupid, you should be more professional Yes, Olga looks nice.

Rubbish...

Don't you have any work to do? Like sort the sound out?

Or repair the lift. What for? lt'll break again.

I don't know how your wife can stand you.

Which one? beause I now have a third one

The one that brought you dinner today.

Your wife brings you dinners? Sure, and yours doesn't?

Well, no... because mine works. Mine works, too. and studies.

Really?

Grzesiek, whafs in this tin?

Knuckles... Where do you get knuckles from?

They're giving them away at the Welfare Office

We have to go down and get ours.

I was so worried about what to have for dinner. Now problem solved!

L'm going with you.

Martunia, you're coming with us, you should get some

My father loves knuckles, especially with mustard.

Whafs wrong with the sound?

Women like you. How do you do it?

You spoil them buy Flowers, purfume etc

Well, no.

It just happens you either get it or you don't!

Yes, but...

you should put something on that eye of yours...

l'm going to check the rest.

You're right, it hurts like hell...

Who would have thought she would suddenly hit me trom the lett. . .?

Fuck, she hit me so hard

Don't worry, Martunia, that you didn't get any knuckles

Next time they will include you on the list.

You have given them your name, haven't you?

Yes, I have. See, nothing to worry about.

Unless they lose the list again.

It only happened once,

Yes, but then it was ok for you lot because you had vouchers

and our department only got them after the holiday.

L'm going to the canteen,

Mawgoska will give me some ice for my eye.

So Mawgoska back from leave?

Yes. Three days ago. But have you seen how fat she's become?

How could I ? l'm so busy at work I don't have the time.

But she's always been fat.

But not that much.

Now she has huge tits and a big belly.

Also an enormous arse,

with a small head on top just like a bird's.

Really?

Yep...

And the way she walks! how strange!

And she turns like that...

Oh, no! The computer's broken again.

Because there's no power...

Boss, look, when Mawgoska sits down, it's looks like that...

And she gasps like a fish:

What are you laughing at, girls?

Mawgoska?

Grzesiek has fainted.

Grzesiek?

He's had an electric shock. What?

Didn't you see the lights go off?

God... how did it happen?

He wanted some ice from the fridge but everything was frozen

...because l've been away for three weeks.

So he started to chop off some ice

I tell him “Look out”,

and suddenly something flashed, and he cut through power cable

Oh, God!

Grzesiek hit the tloor so hhard that the price-list tell ott the wall.

Grzesiek has had no luck today

Staszek, said that when you're unlucky,

Eveything goes wrong.

So what else has gone wrong?

Nothing, it's only a saying,

Staszek went to repair the cable

because eveything in my fridge has started to melt

And there was a new delivery today.

Don't cry, Zosia, it's not worth it.

I'm off, maybe the power's back on.

Hey, new one help me get up.

What a fatso, and how she pushes her way.

Have you heard what she's done to her husband lately?

No. What?

Suddenly she felt like doing you know what.

So she sat down on top of her husband and screamed go go!!

So what?

She finished and ran to work, and he stayed in the bed.

With the spine bent like this

You're making it up.

L'm not! He could hardly reach the phone.

An ambulance took him to hospital. Funny, isn't it?

Not at all.

Then I won't tell you anything anymore.

Look, the lighfs come on.

Hurry up with that typing , we want to go home

All right, boss.

God, is it this getting late...

Good, because it was such a hectic day

Really, this computer is...

It needs a bit of tidying up.

Krysia, could I call my husband?

Of course, dear

Well, Zosia, you sit here, and l'll go and put you through.

She's a dear, that Olga. So helpful.

Martunia, dear, unplug the radio.

And the kettle.

Yes, put me through...

ls it you, bunny?

It's me, your sweetie. Well, l'm at work.

Yes, I know, but I couldn't call earlier.

But instead I have a surprise for dinner today.

What my bunny likes most.

Knuckles...

Well, quite big. I can't see how much because I don't have my glasses.

Ok, l'll buy some on my way home

See you,

Bye, honey, bye.

This husband of mine is so funny, that you can laugh your head off.

It runs in the family.

When his mother says something, you just can't stop laughing...

Your mother-in-law?

You've said yourself that old hag...

You say a lot of things when you're angry. But there's nothing like a good family.

And I can advise you to always take care of your family.

Zoska, there's something wrong with your head, I must have hit it

Well, l'd better go. See you, dear.

And l'm not saying bye to you.

When i get back on Monday and l'm going to keep an eye on you.

God, Grzesiu...? What do you look like?

Where's my tin?

L've brought him here because he keeps moaning: “where's my tin?”

Let go! lt's mine!

Sit down and stay there.

Whafs wrong with him?

It's getting better now

We have to call his wife,

she must come and take him home

Olga knows his wife's number.

I can't glue this bloody price-list together.

It can be repaired

Has the price of the chicken gone up?

No, but these prices here have moved.

Wait a moment.

Everyone's seen Grzesiu leave our room with his tin.

But he came in without it.

Grzesiu, have you left your tin somewhere?

Maybe the new one's taken it

Me? But I didn't get one.

Exactly. thafs the reason.

Look, what l've found in the corridor.

Oh, my tin.

Some bastard must have eaten it.

Some people are heartless.

He'll take better care of his things next time.

Well, we must go home.

Martunia, turn off this machine.

God, what happened to you, boss?!

They turned on me like a pack of mad dogs.

I escaped from the ambulance. Some bloody lorry crashed into us

And I was thrown out on the stretcher, across the road

God, what l've been through!

Yes, we've seen you on TV.

No way! They've lied about everything.

Is anyone following me?

Who could be following you?

The nurses!

Whafs my TV doing here?

Staszek was repairing it.

L'm starving... I haven't eaten anything all day...

What are you doing!

Listen, in fact it was like this

I come in to Personnel

and there's this stupid Wieska looking at some knives,

so I tell her to look for my medical card,

so she yells at me and starts waving the knife at me

so I tell her to be careful because those knives are very sharp,

and she tells me to be careful or she will cut something ofi..

...it was her stupid giggling so I felt like outing her head off

But she was faster, she got to me first and cut! cutl- with three cuts.

It's just like her!

And all the other women started screaming!

The police rushed in and they wouldn't let me say a word.

They pulled me like that...

What is it?

Fuck! my medical card!

Doctor! He's here!

Damn! The nurses!

Please, move out of the way.

Hello! Please open.

You'll never get me!

Don't be a child. We have to vaccinate you.

Right, sure!

Is there another door into this room?

There used to be.

But now there's a hairdresser there.

I can show you.

Go on.

Grzegorz, darling, here you are, poor thing.

God, how are you feeling?

Mum, our Dad is like a magnet!

Oskar! Take these scissors off your father.

Hello! Please open.

Zoska. . .!

Jurek? Don't even come close to me!

Zoska, l've understood everything! I love you!

Really?

When I crashed in the ambulance,

my whole life flashed before my eyes.

- Jureczek! - Zosia!

We've come to the right place, Fly.

You'll apologize to this man...

lt's that rabid dog!

Get out of here, now!

They sent me back here from the seventh floor.

Idiots!

It bit me! It bit me! that bloody dog...

HOId him iighi,

l'll inject him and he'll calm down.

Help me! l'm innocent!

What are you doing? Don't interrupt!

Boss, run now!

Mattresses, of sea grass, ecological.

Look, Jureczek, l'll buy you one like this for your lorry

If you want too

Where's my syringe?

You bastard! l'll kill you!

God, she'll kill my child! Do something!

Martunia, calm down, whafs got into you?

L'll show all of you!

A knife!

Shut up!

You stop calling me Martunia! I hate being called Martunia!

But child, ljust...

Quiet! l'm talking now!

I knew she was mad.

L'll show you mad, you fat bitch!

Oh, God, Jureczek, help us.

Keep your hands to yourself, you dirty bastard.

But Marta, I was just...

Touch me one more time, and l'll cut off all your fingers!

Well done! Smart girl!

Shut up, piss head!

I stole the tin.

But he ate it!

I must go to the bathroom.

Don't move or l'll kill you!

“Martunia make some tea”, ...make it yourself,

If you got off your arse more often, it would'nt be so big

God...

What's the point of studying for so long?

To wash glasses? With some perverted pimp!?

Let's catch her somehow, together...

You'll be the first to have your head cut off!

“Boss, this, boss, that”

l'll cut off that tongue of yours...

Do something!

Don't move...!

And what am I doing in this fucked-up office. . .?

When will manage to finish the typing?

I probably won't finish in my lifetime

beccause I can't concentrate,

because you keep chatting all the time...

The injection started working.

God, she's scared the life out of me...

And the shit out of me...

What? Bank?

No bank, analysis department..... l've told you!

Who? Yes, he is in...

for you, boss...

Yes?

What ransom?

Krysia, do we have any money?

Money? What would we need it for?

We have no money...

what “die”?

What do you mean “die”?