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{\an9}♪♪
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♪ PC Babies!
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{\an1}♪ They're comin' to your town!
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NARRATOR: The PC Babies!
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{\an1}♪ The wokest kids around!
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♪ When there's somethingproblematic ♪
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♪ They're sure tolet you know! ♪
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♪ Making things funand gender neutral ♪
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♪ Everywhere they go
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♪ They're everybody'sfave-sies ♪
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{\an1}♪ They're PC Babies, yeah!
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And now back to"PC Babies!"
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[ Cries, giggles ]
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[ Grunting ]
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Yeah! Who's strong?
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I'm strong.
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Who's a strong woman?
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I'm a strong woman!
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You are gonna smokethe competition!
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I'm gonna smokethe competition!
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[ PC Babies crying ]
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Oh no.It's the babies.
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[ All crying ]
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Kids! Kids, okay!What's the matter?
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Oh, no. I left Disney+ on,and it went to "Mulan."
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PC PRINCIPAL:They don't like Mulan?
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No, because Mulan is a femalethat identifies as male
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and yet the moviedoesn't take the time
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to address realtrans issues.
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Okay! Okay! We know --"Mulan" is outdated
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in creating straw dog charactersto talk about trans issues.
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Daddy's turning it off.[ Remote clicks ]
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But just how many advocateshas yet to be seen...
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[ PC Babies giggle, coo ]
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PC PRINCIPAL: Alright.Everyone, listen up.
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As you know,this school is a place
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where everyone shouldfeel included.
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Our challenge is to motivateourselves and others
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to create an inviting,non-bigoted and --
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Hey, Stotch, you gota [bleep] problem?
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No, sir!
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Now, I think thatwhat we all need
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are leaderswho motivate by example.
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And so I would liketo inform you all
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that your vice principalis competing
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in the Strong Woman Competitionin Morrison this weekend!
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Let's hear it for her.
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[ Applause ]
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Well, thank you,PC Principal.
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Um, listen, guys,I just hope I can make you proud
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and, more importantly,I hope you can see
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that no matter who you are,you can do anything.
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{\an1}We've really come a long way
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breaking downgender binary bigotry,
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and I hope I canespecially inspire
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{\an1}some of my girl students here.
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Or those whoidentify as girls.
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Yes, or thosewho identify as girls.
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Get out there and get involvedin school sports and clubs.
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If there'ssomething you love,
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don't ever let anythinghold you back.
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{\an1}The first bugbear lashes outat Stan with its broadsword!
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And it hits with a 17!
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How much damageis that?
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Four plus two slashing.
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Okay!I jump up to the bugbear!
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{\an1}And I yell, "For Waterdeep"!And I kick it in the balls!
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I don't thinkbugbears have balls.
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Then how do they makebaby bugbears?
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Oh, hi, boys!
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We got some new students
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who want to bepart of the gaming club.
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You know Tammyand Nichole?
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Um...
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[ Chuckles ]Uh... no.
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This is a school club, boys.All clubs are inclusive.
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Have fun, girls.
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Hey, guys.
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[ Whispering ]What the [bleep] do we do?
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Um, guys, we play lotsof games here at Dice Studz,
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but today,we're playing "D&D."
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You don't just show upand start playing.
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You have to generatecharacters and --
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Yeah, we createdsome this morning.
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I'm a Human Paladin,
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and Nichole isa Tiefling Warlock.
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[ Whispering ]Do something, Eric.
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[ Chuckles ]Uh, guys, um...
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they're fighting a bunchof bugbears right now
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that are led bya 12th-level Druid.
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Okay, I cast Vampiric Touchon the Druid.
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Crit.
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For subtitling services, contatct:
waqas.zahoor89@gmail.com
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{\an8}ANNOUNCER: A beautiful dayin Morrison, Colorado,
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{\an8}as we get readyfor the 6th Annual
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{\an8}Strong Woman Competition!
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A two-day-long competitionof tests built to push athletes
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to their very limits.
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Joining me now isthe current champion
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of the Strong Woman Competition,Strong Woman.
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Ms. Woman,do you feel ready?
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Oh, yeah.I'm ready, David.
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There are just so manyamazing women athletes
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out here today.
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It makes me so proud.
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Now, this isthe first year
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that a trans womanis in the competition.
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How do you feel about that?Amazing.
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I feel honored to bea part of history.
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I have a lot of incredibletrans friends who are athletes,
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and so we're all inspiredthis woman's competing.
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Uh-huh, and uh...
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have you actually ever metHeather Swanson?
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Uh, no, I've never competedagainst her before. No.
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She's not exactlyyour average trans athlete.
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Well, what isan average trans athlete?
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Honestly, I find thatkind of bigoted, David.
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Okay, Heather Swansonis actually joining us now.
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Ms. Swanson, how does it feelto be competing today?
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I can't tell youhow free I feel
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now that I've startedidentifying as a woman.
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Now that I cancompete as female,
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I'm ready to smashthe other girls!
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And is it correct you juststarting identifying as female
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two weeks ago.
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I'm not here to talkabout my transition.
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I'm here to kicksome [bleep] ass.
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Let me tell you something,Dingleberry --David Perry.
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I'm gonna roll upthe other women here,
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and I'm gonnasmoke 'em.
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I am the strongest womanthis state has ever seen!
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Any words for the challenger,Ms. Woman?
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Uh, good luck,Heather.
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[ Chuckles ]Luck is for dudes.
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Well, with that,let's get right to the action.
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{\an9}♪♪
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♪ Rising to the top,push it to the edge ♪
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♪ Give it all you got,barely break a sweat ♪
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♪ Strong Woman!
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♪ Strong Woman
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♪ Yeah, she's got speed,she's got the moves ♪
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♪ She's got the muscleand a whole lot to prove ♪
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♪ Strong Woman!
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♪ Strong Woman![ Women grunting ]
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Arghhhhhh-yeah!
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♪ Hey, you
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♪ Go strong woman, go
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♪ Hey, you
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♪ Your time is now,whatcha gonna do? ♪
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♪ Pedal to the metal,find another gear ♪
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♪ She takes what she wants,nothing left to fear ♪
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♪ Strong Woman!
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♪ Strong Woman
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♪ Now, hey girl,you're the best in the world ♪
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♪ And, hey, hon
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♪ Don't look now,but you just won ♪
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HEATHER: Hell yeah! I won!♪ Strong Woman
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♪ Strong woman, strong womanI'm a strong woman!
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♪ Strong woman, strong womanLook at it! Its mine!
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♪ Strong womanI'm the best!
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♪ Strong womanI'm the strongest!
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So...
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second place --that's pretty damn good.
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Yeah.
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I guess she...
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just startedidentifying as a woman
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a few weeks ago.
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Doesn't reallys-seem fair.
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Just don't.You'll upset the PC Babies.
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CARTMAN: It is unfair!
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It is tyrannous,and it is wrong.
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Ever since these girlswere allowed to join
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Dice Studz Gamers Club,it has been a train wreck.
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Every single game we play,
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they, like,figure out all the rules
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and they use the rulesto, like, make us look stupid.
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IN "D&D,"they killed the dungeon master!
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We didn't thinkit was even possible
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to killthe dungeon master.
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Shut up, Butters.It's not possible.
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It's just that, we playboard games for the theme.
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We want to bepirates or Vikings.
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You know what the girlsthink about?
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They think about red cubesversus blue cubes
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and how much of this equalsthat many victory points.
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They're just doing math!
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{\an1}So, they're smarter than you
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and beating youat all the board games.
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Yes.
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No!No!
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It's just different.
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Look, we started Dice Studz[voice breaking] with a dream.
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A dream that that we couldactually do something
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interesting at schooljust for like 60 minutes.
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"Nothing we can do," he said."Hands are tied," he said.
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We're gonna have to deal withthis ourselves, you guys.
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I think Nichole and Tammyare cool to play with.
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Well, you won'tthink they're cool
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when the rest of usleave Dice Studz,
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and you're left to playonly solo board games.
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You mean like "Nemo's War"?"Nemo's War" is sweet.
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Look, maybe we just gottaplay harder stuff,
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you know, stuff the girlscan't keep up with.
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Hey,that's not a bad idea!
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We been takin' it easyon the girls.
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Time to show 'em whatreal board gamers play!
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What do realboard gamers play?
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Well, if you wantsomething hard,
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then you need a really crunchyEuro game, something like
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a Vital Lacerda's "Escape Plan,"or a Uwe Rosenburg euro.
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Do they involve math?
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Well, all euros arepretty mathy.
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Nope, no good.
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We need something withlots of, like, war
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{\an1}and dice and thematic shit.
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So, then you wanta war miniatures game,
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{\an1}something skirmish-style, like"Legion" or "Blood & Plunder."
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Dude, you're reallyinto board games.
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Alright. That's it, guys!
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Dice Studz gamers clubis about to go
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tabletop miniatures.
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[ Babies coo ]
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Emory, stop playingwith your food.
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[ Doorbell rings ]
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I'll get it.
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Hey, what's goin' on?Is your girlfriend home?
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Oh, she's sort of busyright now, Ms. Swanson.
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Just want to tell herno hard feelings
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about me winningthe Strong Woman Competition.
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Yeah, you already told her thatat the competition.
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You got a problemwith me?
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'Cause it's startingto seem like
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you havea problem with me.
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What's going on --Oh, hi, Heather.
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I was just stopping byto make sure
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you're nottoo beat up.
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Oh, that'sreally cool.
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I'm sorry, but I have allthe kids right now,
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and they're-Oh, where arethe little kiddos?!
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I'd love to meet them.
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Oh! Hey, kids!There's a lot of you.
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Your mom must be a strong womanto take care of all of you.
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Of course, I havethe Strong Woman trophy, though.
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[ Chuckles ]Just kidding right?
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Look, why don't you justget out of here.
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Oooh, sounds like someone hereis a transphobe.
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Don't you dare.
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I'm trans peoples'biggest supporter.
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What I think you are isa terrible sport!
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Transphobe!You better knock it off!
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Just don't -- you're gonnaupset the PC Babies.
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And if you dare call mea transphobe again,
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I'm gonna --You're gonna what?
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Beat me up?
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You gonna beat me up,transphobe?
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Yeah,I didn't think so.
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See you later kids.
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00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:33,539
Come on over and seeol' Auntie Heather
259
00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:37,745
If you wanna see whata real strong woman is like.
260
00:09:40,447 --> 00:09:42,215
Are you feelingwhat I'm feeling?
261
00:09:42,216 --> 00:09:43,416
What do you mean?
262
00:09:43,417 --> 00:09:45,084
I don't knowwhat it is but...
263
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:47,787
something about that womanjust doesn't seem right.
264
00:09:47,788 --> 00:09:51,091
{\an9}♪♪
265
00:09:52,311 --> 00:09:55,281
And now back to"PC Babies!"
266
00:09:57,984 --> 00:09:59,785
Hey, guys.Hope it's cool we brought Kelly.
267
00:09:59,786 --> 00:10:00,952
She wants to bein the club, too.
268
00:10:00,953 --> 00:10:03,388
Oh, yes!That's very cool, girls!
269
00:10:03,389 --> 00:10:05,157
We're just setting uptoday's game.
270
00:10:05,158 --> 00:10:07,626
It's a pirate miniatures gamecalled "Blood & Plunder."
271
00:10:07,627 --> 00:10:10,462
Yeah, we saw it on the schedule.We love "Blood & Plunder."
272
00:10:10,463 --> 00:10:11,897
Are we gonna play, like,a four-on-four skirmish
273
00:10:11,898 --> 00:10:13,633
with twodifferent factions?
274
00:10:15,101 --> 00:10:16,668
Whoa.You painted your miniatures?
275
00:10:16,669 --> 00:10:18,970
Yeah who wants unpaintedminiatures, right?
276
00:10:18,971 --> 00:10:20,639
Where'd you learnto do that?
277
00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:23,008
{\an1}We watch YouTube tutorials.You can find a bunch on BGG.
278
00:10:23,009 --> 00:10:24,242
I love BGG!
279
00:10:24,243 --> 00:10:25,677
Oh, cool.Do you watch Game Night?
280
00:10:25,678 --> 00:10:27,779
Excuse me!
281
00:10:27,780 --> 00:10:30,816
We are going to play thesix-hour long, very thematic
282
00:10:30,817 --> 00:10:32,651
"Nemesis."
283
00:10:32,652 --> 00:10:34,853
Oh, cool, we just watchedthe tutorial for that
284
00:10:34,854 --> 00:10:36,155
on "Dice Tower."
285
00:10:37,790 --> 00:10:40,125
{\an8}NARRATOR: And now backto "Women in Sports"
286
00:10:40,126 --> 00:10:42,494
{\an8}with Janet Spears.
287
00:10:42,495 --> 00:10:44,429
Our next guest has beenreally lighting it up
288
00:10:44,430 --> 00:10:45,931
in women's competitions.
289
00:10:45,932 --> 00:10:49,000
Since she's identified as femaletwo weeks ago,
290
00:10:49,001 --> 00:10:51,670
she's won every female sportshe's entered.
291
00:10:51,671 --> 00:10:53,772
Please welcomeHeather Swanson.
292
00:10:53,773 --> 00:10:55,006
Well, thank you, Janet.
293
00:10:55,007 --> 00:10:57,042
It's a great pleasureto be here.
294
00:10:57,043 --> 00:10:59,878
I know that I am an inspirationto all women
295
00:10:59,879 --> 00:11:01,847
and trans athleteseverywhere.
296
00:11:01,848 --> 00:11:04,783
Yes.We are all truly inspired.
297
00:11:04,784 --> 00:11:06,518
Now, there aresome women out there
298
00:11:06,519 --> 00:11:09,321
who just wantto run and hide.
299
00:11:09,322 --> 00:11:11,857
I'm talkin' to you,Strong Woman.
300
00:11:11,858 --> 00:11:14,826
You still dare tocall yourself that?
301
00:11:14,827 --> 00:11:16,728
Your name is a joke,
302
00:11:16,729 --> 00:11:18,563
because ol'Heather Swanson here
303
00:11:18,564 --> 00:11:22,668
will beat you anywhere,anytime, at anything.
304
00:11:24,737 --> 00:11:26,038
Hey...
305
00:11:26,039 --> 00:11:27,672
Don't let her getto you, Strong.
306
00:11:27,673 --> 00:11:29,408
She's not getting to me.
307
00:11:29,409 --> 00:11:30,742
You know,I don't know why
308
00:11:30,743 --> 00:11:32,678
she has such a grudgeagainst you but --
309
00:11:32,679 --> 00:11:36,181
Because I know her!
310
00:11:36,182 --> 00:11:38,350
What do you mean?
311
00:11:38,351 --> 00:11:39,851
It's Blade Jaggart.
312
00:11:39,852 --> 00:11:43,722
He --She is my ex boyfriend.
313
00:11:43,723 --> 00:11:46,324
Wha...
314
00:11:46,325 --> 00:11:49,895
Back when we were together,he was such an asshole.
315
00:11:49,896 --> 00:11:51,430
When I finallybroke up with him,
316
00:11:51,431 --> 00:11:54,232
he said, one day,he was going to get me back.
317
00:11:54,233 --> 00:11:56,702
And now he's got us bothby the balls.
318
00:11:56,703 --> 00:12:00,372
But then she doesn't really careabout trans people
319
00:12:00,373 --> 00:12:01,740
or women?
320
00:12:01,741 --> 00:12:04,509
He hates wom--She hates women.
321
00:12:04,510 --> 00:12:07,112
When I left him, he felt likehe got beat by a girl,
322
00:12:07,113 --> 00:12:09,514
and nothing makes Blade Jaggartmore crazy
323
00:12:09,515 --> 00:12:11,683
than gettingbeat by a girl.
324
00:12:11,684 --> 00:12:15,587
I didn't even know peoplelike that existed.
325
00:12:15,588 --> 00:12:17,222
CARTMAN: It is unfair.
326
00:12:17,223 --> 00:12:19,791
It is tyrannous,and it is wrong!
327
00:12:19,792 --> 00:12:21,693
Dice Studz isa board game group
328
00:12:21,694 --> 00:12:24,463
{\an1}that brings thrills and laughterto dozens of boys at our school.
329
00:12:24,464 --> 00:12:26,898
But that laughter isbeing turned into screams
330
00:12:26,899 --> 00:12:29,201
as girls constantly invadewith their unfairness.
331
00:12:29,202 --> 00:12:31,203
The girls found Ericon the first round
332
00:12:31,204 --> 00:12:32,805
of "Fury of Dracula"!
333
00:12:35,775 --> 00:12:38,210
Yes, inclusion is wonderful,but we have to admit
334
00:12:38,211 --> 00:12:39,911
that boys and girlsare simply different
335
00:12:39,912 --> 00:12:42,948
in some ways that can sometimesmake competitions unfair.
336
00:12:42,949 --> 00:12:45,550
Have you ever seen how girlsdo their homework?
337
00:12:45,551 --> 00:12:48,387
They do it that night.
338
00:12:48,388 --> 00:12:50,322
Meticulouslygoing over every detail
339
00:12:50,323 --> 00:12:52,758
and often finishing beforethey absolutely have to.
340
00:12:52,759 --> 00:12:55,093
This is how girls are withboard game rule books.
341
00:12:55,094 --> 00:12:56,561
{\an1}Before we even start playing,
342
00:12:56,562 --> 00:12:58,163
they've already strategizeda way to win,
343
00:12:58,164 --> 00:13:00,132
leaving others...in the dust.
344
00:13:00,133 --> 00:13:02,768
And now I'd like for youto hear from my friend Scott,
345
00:13:02,769 --> 00:13:05,437
who has diabetes.
346
00:13:05,438 --> 00:13:07,973
"My name is Scott Malkinson,and I have diabetes."
347
00:13:07,974 --> 00:13:09,608
[ Whispers ]Terminal diabetes.
348
00:13:09,609 --> 00:13:11,643
"I have terminal diabetes.
349
00:13:11,644 --> 00:13:13,845
Board games are the only thingthat give me relief
350
00:13:13,846 --> 00:13:15,180
from the physicaland mental anguish
351
00:13:15,181 --> 00:13:16,748
I experience every day."
352
00:13:16,749 --> 00:13:18,517
Wow, Scott,I didn't know it was that bad.
353
00:13:18,518 --> 00:13:20,352
Neither did I.
354
00:13:20,353 --> 00:13:22,521
"Dice Studz is my onlyshot at happiness.
355
00:13:22,522 --> 00:13:24,923
Please don't let outdatedschool policies destroy it."
356
00:13:24,924 --> 00:13:26,324
Wow.Thank you, Scott.
357
00:13:26,325 --> 00:13:28,193
Diabetes everyone.
358
00:13:28,194 --> 00:13:30,529
We hope that our presentationhas helped to change your minds
359
00:13:30,530 --> 00:13:32,431
about school clubsin our country.
360
00:13:32,432 --> 00:13:35,467
If not, we will be backevery... single... day.
361
00:13:35,468 --> 00:13:40,939
Please, let Dice Studzbe for studs.
362
00:13:40,940 --> 00:13:44,342
Women's MMA fightingis growing in popularity
363
00:13:44,343 --> 00:13:48,847
and no other female fighter isas explosive as Heather Swanson.
364
00:13:48,848 --> 00:13:51,016
Yeah!
365
00:13:51,017 --> 00:13:52,884
Heather, your storyis an inspiration
366
00:13:52,885 --> 00:13:54,553
to sports fanseverywhere.
367
00:13:54,554 --> 00:13:57,522
Congratulations onyour shocking success.
368
00:13:57,523 --> 00:14:00,625
I just hope I can motivatelittle girls out there.
369
00:14:00,626 --> 00:14:02,494
Motivate themto understand
370
00:14:02,495 --> 00:14:05,630
that I will beat themat any sport they try.
371
00:14:05,631 --> 00:14:07,566
Motivate them to run away
372
00:14:07,567 --> 00:14:10,836
like that chicken shitStrong Woman did because I --
373
00:14:10,837 --> 00:14:13,038
PC PRINCIPAL: Alright. Alright.That's enough.
374
00:14:13,039 --> 00:14:14,906
You, uh...You made your point, Heather.
375
00:14:14,907 --> 00:14:17,676
We get it, okay?Oh, hey, Transphobe.
376
00:14:17,677 --> 00:14:19,878
This is a nice surprise.
377
00:14:19,879 --> 00:14:22,047
Oh, God.What is he doing?
378
00:14:22,048 --> 00:14:24,716
Look, everyone I knowwe're all a little...
379
00:14:24,717 --> 00:14:27,386
afraid to have any opinionson this stuff,
380
00:14:27,387 --> 00:14:30,689
but there can be situationswhere it's...
381
00:14:30,690 --> 00:14:33,558
not so east to...
382
00:14:33,559 --> 00:14:35,060
What I mean is...[Stammers]
383
00:14:35,061 --> 00:14:37,095
I didn't counton being the best
384
00:14:37,096 --> 00:14:39,097
since identifyingas a woman.
385
00:14:39,098 --> 00:14:41,099
Yeah, no shit, 'cause you wentthrough puberty as a male,
386
00:14:41,100 --> 00:14:43,436
so your body iscompletely different.
387
00:14:45,338 --> 00:14:48,707
And that's exactly whata transphobe would say!
388
00:14:48,708 --> 00:14:50,709
I told you not tocall me a transphobe.
389
00:14:50,710 --> 00:14:53,278
All I want isto have a discussion.
390
00:14:53,279 --> 00:14:55,214
Transphobe.
391
00:14:58,618 --> 00:15:00,919
[ Screams, sobs ]
392
00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:03,221
Oh, shit.
393
00:15:03,222 --> 00:15:04,890
[ Sighs ]
394
00:15:04,891 --> 00:15:06,425
Isn't this nice, you guys?
395
00:15:06,426 --> 00:15:08,560
Clean fresh air,soothing sounds...
396
00:15:08,561 --> 00:15:11,363
just us boys and"Star Trek: Ascendancy."
397
00:15:11,364 --> 00:15:12,464
Hey, fellas!
398
00:15:12,465 --> 00:15:13,899
Come quick!You gotta see!
399
00:15:13,900 --> 00:15:14,933
See what?
400
00:15:14,934 --> 00:15:16,234
Well, it's the girls!
401
00:15:16,235 --> 00:15:17,636
They startedtheir own board game club
402
00:15:17,637 --> 00:15:18,938
at the school!
403
00:15:22,208 --> 00:15:23,241
CARTMAN: "Board Girls"?
404
00:15:23,242 --> 00:15:25,144
How lame is that.
405
00:15:35,288 --> 00:15:37,489
The [bleep] is this?Wow!
406
00:15:37,490 --> 00:15:40,125
{\an1}Well, this is just like what yousaid Dice Studz would be, Eric!
407
00:15:40,126 --> 00:15:42,094
Oh, hey, guys.Welcome to Board Girls.
408
00:15:42,095 --> 00:15:43,495
Wanna have a look around?
409
00:15:43,496 --> 00:15:45,263
So, over here,we have our co-op games.
410
00:15:45,264 --> 00:15:46,732
I think they're doing"Sub Terra" right now.
411
00:15:46,733 --> 00:15:48,467
And there, we do our deckand engine builders.
412
00:15:48,468 --> 00:15:50,068
Have you tried "Inuit"?It's really cool.
413
00:15:50,069 --> 00:15:51,770
We have miniatures paintingover there,
414
00:15:51,771 --> 00:15:54,172
and most of our miniaturesgaming happens in that area.
415
00:15:54,173 --> 00:15:56,074
Hey those girls are playing"Crisis Protocol"?!
416
00:15:56,075 --> 00:15:57,442
That's not even out yet!
417
00:15:57,443 --> 00:15:59,411
Yeah, we get advancedcopies of games
418
00:15:59,412 --> 00:16:01,947
because our club reviews themfor our gaming channel.
419
00:16:01,948 --> 00:16:04,349
MR. MACKEY: Hey, boys!You need to get out, mkay!
420
00:16:04,350 --> 00:16:06,251
No boys in the girls'school clubs.
421
00:16:06,252 --> 00:16:08,520
Come on, let's go.STAN: What?! Who says?
422
00:16:08,521 --> 00:16:10,622
New school policy,came down from the top.
423
00:16:10,623 --> 00:16:11,957
Now get your assesoutta there.
424
00:16:11,958 --> 00:16:13,992
Well, who made upthat stupid rule?
425
00:16:13,993 --> 00:16:16,929
Yeah, who made upthat stupid rule?
426
00:16:20,271 --> 00:16:23,606
[ Sadly ] We now returnto "PC Babies."
427
00:16:23,607 --> 00:16:30,046
{\an9}♪♪
428
00:16:30,047 --> 00:16:36,553
{\an9}♪♪
429
00:16:36,554 --> 00:16:40,356
Are you just...not gonna come home?
430
00:16:40,357 --> 00:16:45,028
How am I gonna look my kidsin the eyes, Strong?
431
00:16:45,029 --> 00:16:48,017
Since they were born,we've taught them to accept
432
00:16:48,018 --> 00:16:50,638
and fight for thosewho are marginalized,
433
00:16:50,639 --> 00:16:52,673
that there's no grey areawhen it comes
434
00:16:52,674 --> 00:16:54,942
to inclusionand acceptance.
435
00:16:54,943 --> 00:16:56,777
When I go back,all they are going to see
436
00:16:56,778 --> 00:16:59,146
is a big fat hypocrite.
437
00:16:59,147 --> 00:17:00,948
And now I just used a wordto shame people
438
00:17:00,949 --> 00:17:02,610
with weight issues.
439
00:17:02,611 --> 00:17:04,225
{\an9}♪♪
440
00:17:04,226 --> 00:17:06,527
"P"...you can't just shut down
441
00:17:06,528 --> 00:17:08,763
because you're afraid of howthe babies are going to react.
442
00:17:08,764 --> 00:17:12,700
But they're right, Strong.I shoved a trans person.
443
00:17:12,701 --> 00:17:15,803
No matter what,I have no right to judge her.
444
00:17:15,804 --> 00:17:17,238
Do you think --
445
00:17:17,239 --> 00:17:19,974
Could you try to explain itto the babies?
446
00:17:19,975 --> 00:17:22,577
You know how they are.They're babies.
447
00:17:22,578 --> 00:17:25,446
Their minds are made upbefore anyone says anything.
448
00:17:25,447 --> 00:17:28,116
Then I've really got onlyone thing I can do.
449
00:17:28,117 --> 00:17:29,550
I have to tryand make things right
450
00:17:29,551 --> 00:17:31,552
with Heather Swanson.
451
00:17:31,553 --> 00:17:34,422
Uh, hey, students.
452
00:17:34,423 --> 00:17:35,823
As you know,
453
00:17:35,824 --> 00:17:37,792
we've had some issueshere at the school
454
00:17:37,793 --> 00:17:40,662
that we are working very hardto correct.
455
00:17:40,663 --> 00:17:42,296
So, today we are...
456
00:17:42,297 --> 00:17:45,767
honored to havea motivational speaker.
457
00:17:45,768 --> 00:17:47,835
She is the currentStrong Woman Champion
458
00:17:47,836 --> 00:17:50,471
and also the championin Women's MMA fighting
459
00:17:50,472 --> 00:17:52,807
and inWomen's Wrestling.
460
00:17:52,808 --> 00:17:56,144
Please welcomethe inspiring Heather Swanson.
461
00:17:56,145 --> 00:17:58,246
[ Up-beat music plays ]
462
00:17:58,247 --> 00:17:59,981
Yeeaah!
463
00:17:59,982 --> 00:18:02,917
[Bleep] yeah!
464
00:18:02,918 --> 00:18:11,426
{\an9}♪♪
465
00:18:11,427 --> 00:18:13,696
♪ Oh, my God ♪
466
00:18:16,632 --> 00:18:18,533
Hello, boys and girls.
467
00:18:18,534 --> 00:18:20,601
I'm here to talk to youbecause, apparently,
468
00:18:20,602 --> 00:18:22,937
your school leadershave failed you.
469
00:18:22,938 --> 00:18:24,772
I'm gonna tell yousomething, kids.
470
00:18:24,773 --> 00:18:27,308
There's only one thing thatmatters in this world,
471
00:18:27,309 --> 00:18:29,310
and that's being the best.
472
00:18:29,311 --> 00:18:32,180
Your Vice Principal teachesyou girls to be strong,
473
00:18:32,181 --> 00:18:35,483
but she comes in second.
474
00:18:35,484 --> 00:18:39,120
You got anything to sayabout that, PC Principal?
475
00:18:39,121 --> 00:18:41,622
No, Ms. Swanson.
476
00:18:41,623 --> 00:18:43,726
"No, Ms. Swanson."
477
00:18:45,227 --> 00:18:47,862
You see, people don'tlook up to losers.
478
00:18:47,863 --> 00:18:50,665
They look up to champions.
479
00:18:50,666 --> 00:18:52,800
And every timeI beat another woman,
480
00:18:52,801 --> 00:18:54,302
I feel better.
481
00:18:54,303 --> 00:18:55,803
Dude, I reallylike this person.
482
00:18:55,804 --> 00:18:57,972
{\an1}And that's why I'm the best!
483
00:18:57,973 --> 00:19:00,975
Because Heather Swansondoesn't get beat.
484
00:19:00,976 --> 00:19:03,478
I work to be the bestat everything!
485
00:19:03,479 --> 00:19:06,414
And Heather Swanson willbeat any other woman
486
00:19:06,415 --> 00:19:08,816
any time, anywhere!
487
00:19:08,817 --> 00:19:11,185
Bet you can't beat Nicholeat "Blood Rage."
488
00:19:11,186 --> 00:19:12,553
What?!
489
00:19:12,554 --> 00:19:14,989
Wh-What did you say,transphobe?
490
00:19:14,990 --> 00:19:17,825
Yeah, but I bet you can'tbeat Tammy at "War of the Ring."
491
00:19:17,826 --> 00:19:20,728
You don't disrespect a champion,little girls!
492
00:19:20,729 --> 00:19:23,865
You think Heather Swansondoesn't know board games?!
493
00:19:23,866 --> 00:19:26,100
I was playing board gamesbefore your mom
494
00:19:26,101 --> 00:19:28,236
even crapped youout of her vagina.
495
00:19:28,237 --> 00:19:29,937
Okay. So, then,let's do it, bitch.
496
00:19:29,938 --> 00:19:31,739
Oh, it's on.
497
00:19:31,740 --> 00:19:36,678
{\an9}♪♪
498
00:19:36,679 --> 00:19:39,113
♪ Tabletop bloodbath,nothing left to say ♪
499
00:19:39,114 --> 00:19:41,382
♪ Your moment is here,time to make 'em pay ♪
500
00:19:41,383 --> 00:19:43,384
♪ Strong Woman!♪ Strong Woman
501
00:19:43,385 --> 00:19:44,886
♪ Strong!
502
00:19:44,887 --> 00:19:46,587
♪ Woman!
503
00:19:46,588 --> 00:19:48,890
♪ Smoke the competition,show 'em what you got ♪
504
00:19:48,891 --> 00:19:50,925
♪ All your painted miniaturesare really paying off ♪
505
00:19:50,926 --> 00:19:53,094
♪ Strong Woman!♪ Strong Woman
506
00:19:53,095 --> 00:19:55,063
♪ Strong!
507
00:19:55,064 --> 00:19:56,197
♪ Woman!
508
00:19:56,198 --> 00:19:58,566
♪ Hey, wow
509
00:19:58,567 --> 00:20:00,735
{\an1}♪ Who's the Strong Woman now?
510
00:20:00,736 --> 00:20:03,271
♪ And hey, you
511
00:20:03,272 --> 00:20:05,640
♪ Thought you were the best,but you're about to lose ♪
512
00:20:05,641 --> 00:20:07,875
♪ To the Board Girls,they got the moves ♪
513
00:20:07,876 --> 00:20:09,444
♪ They pummeled youat "Alchemists" ♪
514
00:20:09,445 --> 00:20:10,912
♪ And kicked your assin "Carcosonne" ♪
515
00:20:10,913 --> 00:20:12,947
♪ Board Girls,they know all the rules ♪
516
00:20:12,948 --> 00:20:15,650
♪ They watch Rodney Smith,Tom Vasel, and Becca Scott ♪
517
00:20:15,651 --> 00:20:17,585
♪ Hey, cool
518
00:20:17,586 --> 00:20:20,054
{\an1}♪ They made you look a fool
519
00:20:20,055 --> 00:20:22,657
♪ And hey, sweet
520
00:20:22,658 --> 00:20:25,059
♪ Take a step down,you just got beat ♪
521
00:20:25,060 --> 00:20:26,761
♪ By the Board Girls
522
00:20:26,762 --> 00:20:29,130
[ All cheering ]♪ Strong!
523
00:20:29,131 --> 00:20:31,632
{\an1}♪ Strong Woman, Strong Woman!HEATHER: You think that's fair?!
524
00:20:31,633 --> 00:20:33,568
You only won becauseyou dumb girls
525
00:20:33,569 --> 00:20:35,403
memorize the rule books!
526
00:20:35,404 --> 00:20:39,007
When I play games, I just wannabe a pirate or a spaceman.
527
00:20:39,008 --> 00:20:42,110
That's right!You and your stupid rules!
528
00:20:42,111 --> 00:20:45,947
I may identify as a woman now,but I grew up a boy
529
00:20:45,948 --> 00:20:48,249
and so you havean unfair advantage over me!
530
00:20:48,250 --> 00:20:50,652
Yeah, an unfair advantage,you stupid girls!
531
00:20:50,653 --> 00:20:54,189
Come on, Ms. Swanson.We can go make our own club!
532
00:20:55,324 --> 00:20:57,660
[ Cheering resumes ]
533
00:21:00,462 --> 00:21:02,530
You sureyou're ready for this?
534
00:21:02,531 --> 00:21:05,767
I just want toget it over with.
535
00:21:05,768 --> 00:21:06,934
-Mommy!-Momma!
536
00:21:06,935 --> 00:21:08,336
-Mommy!-Yay, Mommy!
537
00:21:08,337 --> 00:21:11,073
Yes, kids.And look who else is here.
538
00:21:12,775 --> 00:21:13,941
-Daddy!-Daddy!
539
00:21:13,942 --> 00:21:15,777
-Yeah, Daddy!-Dada!
540
00:21:15,778 --> 00:21:17,679
Dada.I wove you.
541
00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:20,014
I --I don't understand.
542
00:21:20,015 --> 00:21:21,616
They don't care.
543
00:21:21,617 --> 00:21:23,284
They must see the nuance
544
00:21:23,285 --> 00:21:25,486
to this whole situation.You're right!
545
00:21:25,487 --> 00:21:27,989
They realize that raisinga gender-based issue of strength
546
00:21:27,990 --> 00:21:30,058
doesn't necessarily make onea bigot or a bully.
547
00:21:30,059 --> 00:21:31,359
All this time,we were worried
548
00:21:31,360 --> 00:21:32,860
what the PC Babieswould think.
549
00:21:32,861 --> 00:21:34,529
And we didn't realize
550
00:21:34,530 --> 00:21:37,231
that our little babiesare growing up.
551
00:21:37,232 --> 00:21:39,901
[ Laughter ]
552
00:21:39,902 --> 00:21:44,907
{\an9}♪♪
553
00:21:46,008 --> 00:21:55,650
{\an9}♪♪
554
00:21:55,651 --> 00:22:05,326
{\an9}♪♪
555
00:22:05,327 --> 00:22:14,670
{\an9}♪♪
45884
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