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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,171 --> 00:00:06,506 {\an9}♪♪ 2 00:00:06,507 --> 00:00:08,875 ♪ PC Babies! 3 00:00:08,876 --> 00:00:10,676 {\an1}♪ They're comin' to your town! 4 00:00:10,677 --> 00:00:13,646 NARRATOR: The PC Babies! 5 00:00:13,647 --> 00:00:15,948 {\an1}♪ The wokest kids around! 6 00:00:15,949 --> 00:00:18,384 ♪ When there's something problematic ♪ 7 00:00:18,385 --> 00:00:20,720 ♪ They're sure to let you know! ♪ 8 00:00:20,721 --> 00:00:23,322 ♪ Making things fun and gender neutral ♪ 9 00:00:23,323 --> 00:00:25,792 ♪ Everywhere they go 10 00:00:25,793 --> 00:00:27,894 ♪ They're everybody's fave-sies ♪ 11 00:00:27,895 --> 00:00:31,732 {\an1}♪ They're PC Babies, yeah! 12 00:00:33,300 --> 00:00:34,734 And now back to "PC Babies!" 13 00:00:34,735 --> 00:00:36,670 [ Cries, giggles ] 14 00:00:38,739 --> 00:00:39,705 [ Grunting ] 15 00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:41,407 Yeah! Who's strong? 16 00:00:41,408 --> 00:00:42,375 I'm strong. 17 00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:43,342 Who's a strong woman? 18 00:00:43,343 --> 00:00:44,677 I'm a strong woman! 19 00:00:44,678 --> 00:00:45,912 You are gonna smoke the competition! 20 00:00:45,913 --> 00:00:47,380 I'm gonna smoke the competition! 21 00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:48,414 [ PC Babies crying ] 22 00:00:48,415 --> 00:00:50,362 Oh no. It's the babies. 23 00:00:50,363 --> 00:00:53,352 [ All crying ] 24 00:00:53,353 --> 00:00:55,254 Kids! Kids, okay! What's the matter? 25 00:00:55,255 --> 00:00:58,858 Oh, no. I left Disney+ on, and it went to "Mulan." 26 00:00:58,859 --> 00:01:00,393 PC PRINCIPAL: They don't like Mulan? 27 00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:03,329 No, because Mulan is a female that identifies as male 28 00:01:03,330 --> 00:01:04,664 and yet the movie doesn't take the time 29 00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:08,267 to address real trans issues. 30 00:01:08,268 --> 00:01:10,503 Okay! Okay! We know -- "Mulan" is outdated 31 00:01:10,504 --> 00:01:12,839 in creating straw dog characters to talk about trans issues. 32 00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:14,607 Daddy's turning it off. [ Remote clicks ] 33 00:01:14,608 --> 00:01:17,744 But just how many advocates has yet to be seen... 34 00:01:17,745 --> 00:01:19,212 [ PC Babies giggle, coo ] 35 00:01:19,213 --> 00:01:21,280 PC PRINCIPAL: Alright. Everyone, listen up. 36 00:01:21,281 --> 00:01:22,782 As you know, this school is a place 37 00:01:22,783 --> 00:01:24,383 where everyone should feel included. 38 00:01:24,384 --> 00:01:26,552 Our challenge is to motivate ourselves and others 39 00:01:26,553 --> 00:01:29,021 to create an inviting, non-bigoted and -- 40 00:01:29,022 --> 00:01:30,923 Hey, Stotch, you got a [bleep] problem? 41 00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:32,358 No, sir! 42 00:01:32,359 --> 00:01:34,260 Now, I think that what we all need 43 00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:37,029 are leaders who motivate by example. 44 00:01:37,030 --> 00:01:39,065 And so I would like to inform you all 45 00:01:39,066 --> 00:01:41,601 that your vice principal is competing 46 00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:44,137 in the Strong Woman Competition in Morrison this weekend! 47 00:01:44,138 --> 00:01:45,405 Let's hear it for her. 48 00:01:45,406 --> 00:01:47,273 [ Applause ] 49 00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:49,876 Well, thank you, PC Principal. 50 00:01:49,877 --> 00:01:53,045 Um, listen, guys, I just hope I can make you proud 51 00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:55,148 and, more importantly, I hope you can see 52 00:01:55,149 --> 00:01:58,284 that no matter who you are, you can do anything. 53 00:01:58,285 --> 00:02:00,052 {\an1}We've really come a long way 54 00:02:00,053 --> 00:02:02,422 breaking down gender binary bigotry, 55 00:02:02,423 --> 00:02:04,490 and I hope I can especially inspire 56 00:02:04,491 --> 00:02:06,292 {\an1}some of my girl students here. 57 00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:08,294 Or those who identify as girls. 58 00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:10,396 Yes, or those who identify as girls. 59 00:02:10,397 --> 00:02:14,100 Get out there and get involved in school sports and clubs. 60 00:02:14,101 --> 00:02:15,468 If there's something you love, 61 00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:18,305 don't ever let anything hold you back. 62 00:02:20,407 --> 00:02:23,342 {\an1}The first bugbear lashes out at Stan with its broadsword! 63 00:02:23,343 --> 00:02:24,844 And it hits with a 17! 64 00:02:24,845 --> 00:02:26,312 How much damage is that? 65 00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:28,081 Four plus two slashing. 66 00:02:28,082 --> 00:02:29,749 Okay! I jump up to the bugbear! 67 00:02:29,750 --> 00:02:32,785 {\an1}And I yell, "For Waterdeep"! And I kick it in the balls! 68 00:02:32,786 --> 00:02:34,353 I don't think bugbears have balls. 69 00:02:34,354 --> 00:02:36,089 Then how do they make baby bugbears? 70 00:02:36,090 --> 00:02:37,190 Oh, hi, boys! 71 00:02:37,191 --> 00:02:38,491 We got some new students 72 00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:40,126 who want to be part of the gaming club. 73 00:02:40,127 --> 00:02:41,928 You know Tammy and Nichole? 74 00:02:41,929 --> 00:02:43,863 Um... 75 00:02:43,864 --> 00:02:45,431 [ Chuckles ] Uh... no. 76 00:02:45,432 --> 00:02:48,000 This is a school club, boys. All clubs are inclusive. 77 00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,703 Have fun, girls. 78 00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:52,873 Hey, guys. 79 00:02:55,109 --> 00:02:56,776 [ Whispering ] What the [bleep] do we do? 80 00:02:56,777 --> 00:02:59,479 Um, guys, we play lots of games here at Dice Studz, 81 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:00,880 but today, we're playing "D&D." 82 00:03:00,881 --> 00:03:02,181 You don't just show up and start playing. 83 00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:03,483 You have to generate characters and -- 84 00:03:03,484 --> 00:03:04,951 Yeah, we created some this morning. 85 00:03:04,952 --> 00:03:06,219 I'm a Human Paladin, 86 00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:07,987 and Nichole is a Tiefling Warlock. 87 00:03:07,988 --> 00:03:11,224 [ Whispering ] Do something, Eric. 88 00:03:11,225 --> 00:03:13,793 [ Chuckles ] Uh, guys, um... 89 00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:15,461 they're fighting a bunch of bugbears right now 90 00:03:15,462 --> 00:03:17,330 that are led by a 12th-level Druid. 91 00:03:17,331 --> 00:03:21,167 Okay, I cast Vampiric Touch on the Druid. 92 00:03:21,168 --> 00:03:22,436 Crit. 93 00:03:22,438 --> 00:03:26,472 For subtitling services, contatct: waqas.zahoor89@gmail.com 94 00:03:26,473 --> 00:03:28,975 {\an8}ANNOUNCER: A beautiful day in Morrison, Colorado, 95 00:03:28,976 --> 00:03:30,810 {\an8}as we get ready for the 6th Annual 96 00:03:30,811 --> 00:03:32,678 {\an8}Strong Woman Competition! 97 00:03:32,679 --> 00:03:36,015 A two-day-long competition of tests built to push athletes 98 00:03:36,016 --> 00:03:38,384 to their very limits. 99 00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:40,353 Joining me now is the current champion 100 00:03:40,354 --> 00:03:43,322 of the Strong Woman Competition, Strong Woman. 101 00:03:43,323 --> 00:03:45,091 Ms. Woman, do you feel ready? 102 00:03:45,092 --> 00:03:47,026 Oh, yeah. I'm ready, David. 103 00:03:47,027 --> 00:03:49,195 There are just so many amazing women athletes 104 00:03:49,196 --> 00:03:50,163 out here today. 105 00:03:50,164 --> 00:03:51,664 It makes me so proud. 106 00:03:51,665 --> 00:03:53,166 Now, this is the first year 107 00:03:53,167 --> 00:03:55,201 that a trans woman is in the competition. 108 00:03:55,202 --> 00:03:57,437 How do you feel about that? Amazing. 109 00:03:57,438 --> 00:03:59,272 I feel honored to be a part of history. 110 00:03:59,273 --> 00:04:01,774 I have a lot of incredible trans friends who are athletes, 111 00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:04,544 and so we're all inspired this woman's competing. 112 00:04:04,545 --> 00:04:06,012 Uh-huh, and uh... 113 00:04:06,013 --> 00:04:08,247 have you actually ever met Heather Swanson? 114 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:10,950 Uh, no, I've never competed against her before. No. 115 00:04:10,951 --> 00:04:13,753 She's not exactly your average trans athlete. 116 00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:16,589 Well, what is an average trans athlete? 117 00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:18,891 Honestly, I find that kind of bigoted, David. 118 00:04:18,892 --> 00:04:22,128 Okay, Heather Swanson is actually joining us now. 119 00:04:22,129 --> 00:04:25,231 Ms. Swanson, how does it feel to be competing today? 120 00:04:25,232 --> 00:04:28,868 I can't tell you how free I feel 121 00:04:28,869 --> 00:04:32,071 now that I've started identifying as a woman. 122 00:04:32,072 --> 00:04:34,373 Now that I can compete as female, 123 00:04:34,374 --> 00:04:37,643 I'm ready to smash the other girls! 124 00:04:37,644 --> 00:04:40,747 And is it correct you just starting identifying as female 125 00:04:40,748 --> 00:04:42,048 two weeks ago. 126 00:04:42,049 --> 00:04:44,784 I'm not here to talk about my transition. 127 00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:47,220 I'm here to kick some [bleep] ass. 128 00:04:47,221 --> 00:04:50,556 Let me tell you something, Dingleberry -- David Perry. 129 00:04:50,557 --> 00:04:52,825 I'm gonna roll up the other women here, 130 00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:54,894 and I'm gonna smoke 'em. 131 00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:59,799 I am the strongest woman this state has ever seen! 132 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:02,268 Any words for the challenger, Ms. Woman? 133 00:05:02,269 --> 00:05:04,303 Uh, good luck, Heather. 134 00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:07,573 [ Chuckles ] Luck is for dudes. 135 00:05:07,574 --> 00:05:10,510 Well, with that, let's get right to the action. 136 00:05:10,511 --> 00:05:15,314 {\an9}♪♪ 137 00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:18,084 ♪ Rising to the top, push it to the edge ♪ 138 00:05:18,085 --> 00:05:20,186 ♪ Give it all you got, barely break a sweat ♪ 139 00:05:20,187 --> 00:05:21,421 ♪ Strong Woman! 140 00:05:21,422 --> 00:05:25,024 ♪ Strong Woman 141 00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:27,760 ♪ Yeah, she's got speed, she's got the moves ♪ 142 00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:29,762 ♪ She's got the muscle and a whole lot to prove ♪ 143 00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:31,130 ♪ Strong Woman! 144 00:05:31,131 --> 00:05:33,132 ♪ Strong Woman! [ Women grunting ] 145 00:05:33,133 --> 00:05:35,301 Arghhhhhh-yeah! 146 00:05:35,302 --> 00:05:37,437 ♪ Hey, you 147 00:05:37,438 --> 00:05:39,972 ♪ Go strong woman, go 148 00:05:39,973 --> 00:05:42,175 ♪ Hey, you 149 00:05:42,176 --> 00:05:45,945 ♪ Your time is now, whatcha gonna do? ♪ 150 00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:48,214 ♪ Pedal to the metal, find another gear ♪ 151 00:05:48,215 --> 00:05:50,516 ♪ She takes what she wants, nothing left to fear ♪ 152 00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:51,851 ♪ Strong Woman! 153 00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:55,388 ♪ Strong Woman 154 00:05:55,389 --> 00:06:00,193 ♪ Now, hey girl, you're the best in the world ♪ 155 00:06:00,194 --> 00:06:02,895 ♪ And, hey, hon 156 00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:05,398 ♪ Don't look now, but you just won ♪ 157 00:06:05,399 --> 00:06:08,134 HEATHER: Hell yeah! I won! ♪ Strong Woman 158 00:06:08,135 --> 00:06:10,303 ♪ Strong woman, strong woman I'm a strong woman! 159 00:06:10,304 --> 00:06:12,739 ♪ Strong woman, strong woman Look at it! Its mine! 160 00:06:12,740 --> 00:06:14,073 ♪ Strong woman I'm the best! 161 00:06:14,074 --> 00:06:16,110 ♪ Strong woman I'm the strongest! 162 00:06:19,847 --> 00:06:21,214 So... 163 00:06:21,215 --> 00:06:23,382 second place -- that's pretty damn good. 164 00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:25,285 Yeah. 165 00:06:26,754 --> 00:06:28,221 I guess she... 166 00:06:28,222 --> 00:06:29,822 just started identifying as a woman 167 00:06:29,823 --> 00:06:30,990 a few weeks ago. 168 00:06:30,991 --> 00:06:32,992 Doesn't really s-seem fair. 169 00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:36,363 Just don't. You'll upset the PC Babies. 170 00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:39,031 CARTMAN: It is unfair! 171 00:06:39,032 --> 00:06:41,534 It is tyrannous, and it is wrong. 172 00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:43,603 Ever since these girls were allowed to join 173 00:06:43,604 --> 00:06:45,905 Dice Studz Gamers Club, it has been a train wreck. 174 00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:47,206 Every single game we play, 175 00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:49,041 they, like, figure out all the rules 176 00:06:49,042 --> 00:06:52,211 and they use the rules to, like, make us look stupid. 177 00:06:52,212 --> 00:06:54,213 IN "D&D," they killed the dungeon master! 178 00:06:54,214 --> 00:06:55,381 We didn't think it was even possible 179 00:06:55,382 --> 00:06:56,783 to kill the dungeon master. 180 00:06:56,784 --> 00:06:58,551 Shut up, Butters. It's not possible. 181 00:06:58,552 --> 00:07:00,787 It's just that, we play board games for the theme. 182 00:07:00,788 --> 00:07:02,722 We want to be pirates or Vikings. 183 00:07:02,723 --> 00:07:04,123 You know what the girls think about? 184 00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:06,125 They think about red cubes versus blue cubes 185 00:07:06,126 --> 00:07:07,894 and how much of this equals that many victory points. 186 00:07:07,895 --> 00:07:09,362 They're just doing math! 187 00:07:09,363 --> 00:07:11,030 {\an1}So, they're smarter than you 188 00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:12,765 and beating you at all the board games. 189 00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:13,866 Yes. 190 00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:15,268 No! No! 191 00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:17,069 It's just different. 192 00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:19,806 Look, we started Dice Studz [voice breaking] with a dream. 193 00:07:19,807 --> 00:07:21,474 A dream that that we could actually do something 194 00:07:21,475 --> 00:07:25,478 interesting at school just for like 60 minutes. 195 00:07:25,479 --> 00:07:28,314 "Nothing we can do," he said. "Hands are tied," he said. 196 00:07:28,315 --> 00:07:30,083 We're gonna have to deal with this ourselves, you guys. 197 00:07:30,084 --> 00:07:32,118 I think Nichole and Tammy are cool to play with. 198 00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:33,419 Well, you won't think they're cool 199 00:07:33,420 --> 00:07:34,954 when the rest of us leave Dice Studz, 200 00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:36,722 and you're left to play only solo board games. 201 00:07:36,723 --> 00:07:38,624 You mean like "Nemo's War"? "Nemo's War" is sweet. 202 00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:40,460 Look, maybe we just gotta play harder stuff, 203 00:07:40,461 --> 00:07:42,128 you know, stuff the girls can't keep up with. 204 00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:43,930 Hey, that's not a bad idea! 205 00:07:43,931 --> 00:07:45,498 We been takin' it easy on the girls. 206 00:07:45,499 --> 00:07:47,333 Time to show 'em what real board gamers play! 207 00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:48,835 What do real board gamers play? 208 00:07:48,836 --> 00:07:50,503 Well, if you want something hard, 209 00:07:50,504 --> 00:07:52,138 then you need a really crunchy Euro game, something like 210 00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:55,141 a Vital Lacerda's "Escape Plan," or a Uwe Rosenburg euro. 211 00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:56,476 Do they involve math? 212 00:07:56,477 --> 00:07:57,643 Well, all euros are pretty mathy. 213 00:07:57,644 --> 00:07:59,078 Nope, no good. 214 00:07:59,079 --> 00:08:00,413 We need something with lots of, like, war 215 00:08:00,414 --> 00:08:02,148 {\an1}and dice and thematic shit. 216 00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:03,983 So, then you want a war miniatures game, 217 00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:05,685 {\an1}something skirmish-style, like "Legion" or "Blood & Plunder." 218 00:08:05,686 --> 00:08:07,653 Dude, you're really into board games. 219 00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:08,921 Alright. That's it, guys! 220 00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:10,356 Dice Studz gamers club is about to go 221 00:08:10,357 --> 00:08:12,425 tabletop miniatures. 222 00:08:12,426 --> 00:08:13,860 [ Babies coo ] 223 00:08:13,861 --> 00:08:16,162 Emory, stop playing with your food. 224 00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:17,363 [ Doorbell rings ] 225 00:08:17,364 --> 00:08:18,866 I'll get it. 226 00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:23,870 Hey, what's goin' on? Is your girlfriend home? 227 00:08:23,871 --> 00:08:26,806 Oh, she's sort of busy right now, Ms. Swanson. 228 00:08:26,807 --> 00:08:28,441 Just want to tell her no hard feelings 229 00:08:28,442 --> 00:08:31,310 about me winning the Strong Woman Competition. 230 00:08:31,311 --> 00:08:33,679 Yeah, you already told her that at the competition. 231 00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:35,314 You got a problem with me? 232 00:08:35,315 --> 00:08:36,649 'Cause it's starting to seem like 233 00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:37,984 you have a problem with me. 234 00:08:37,985 --> 00:08:39,886 What's going on -- Oh, hi, Heather. 235 00:08:39,887 --> 00:08:41,654 I was just stopping by to make sure 236 00:08:41,655 --> 00:08:43,489 you're not too beat up. 237 00:08:43,490 --> 00:08:45,725 Oh, that's really cool. 238 00:08:45,726 --> 00:08:47,860 I'm sorry, but I have all the kids right now, 239 00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:49,562 and they're- Oh, where are the little kiddos?! 240 00:08:49,563 --> 00:08:51,397 I'd love to meet them. 241 00:08:51,398 --> 00:08:54,300 Oh! Hey, kids! There's a lot of you. 242 00:08:54,301 --> 00:08:57,837 Your mom must be a strong woman to take care of all of you. 243 00:08:57,838 --> 00:09:00,973 Of course, I have the Strong Woman trophy, though. 244 00:09:00,974 --> 00:09:03,209 [ Chuckles ] Just kidding right? 245 00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:04,977 Look, why don't you just get out of here. 246 00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:09,048 Oooh, sounds like someone here is a transphobe. 247 00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:10,383 Don't you dare. 248 00:09:10,384 --> 00:09:12,351 I'm trans peoples' biggest supporter. 249 00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:15,054 What I think you are is a terrible sport! 250 00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:17,023 Transphobe! You better knock it off! 251 00:09:17,024 --> 00:09:19,192 Just don't -- you're gonna upset the PC Babies. 252 00:09:19,193 --> 00:09:21,060 And if you dare call me a transphobe again, 253 00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:22,528 I'm gonna -- You're gonna what? 254 00:09:22,529 --> 00:09:24,230 Beat me up? 255 00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:26,599 You gonna beat me up, transphobe? 256 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:29,368 Yeah, I didn't think so. 257 00:09:29,369 --> 00:09:31,170 See you later kids. 258 00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:33,539 Come on over and see ol' Auntie Heather 259 00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:37,745 If you wanna see what a real strong woman is like. 260 00:09:40,447 --> 00:09:42,215 Are you feeling what I'm feeling? 261 00:09:42,216 --> 00:09:43,416 What do you mean? 262 00:09:43,417 --> 00:09:45,084 I don't know what it is but... 263 00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:47,787 something about that woman just doesn't seem right. 264 00:09:47,788 --> 00:09:51,091 {\an9}♪♪ 265 00:09:52,311 --> 00:09:55,281 And now back to "PC Babies!" 266 00:09:57,984 --> 00:09:59,785 Hey, guys. Hope it's cool we brought Kelly. 267 00:09:59,786 --> 00:10:00,952 She wants to be in the club, too. 268 00:10:00,953 --> 00:10:03,388 Oh, yes! That's very cool, girls! 269 00:10:03,389 --> 00:10:05,157 We're just setting up today's game. 270 00:10:05,158 --> 00:10:07,626 It's a pirate miniatures game called "Blood & Plunder." 271 00:10:07,627 --> 00:10:10,462 Yeah, we saw it on the schedule. We love "Blood & Plunder." 272 00:10:10,463 --> 00:10:11,897 Are we gonna play, like, a four-on-four skirmish 273 00:10:11,898 --> 00:10:13,633 with two different factions? 274 00:10:15,101 --> 00:10:16,668 Whoa. You painted your miniatures? 275 00:10:16,669 --> 00:10:18,970 Yeah who wants unpainted miniatures, right? 276 00:10:18,971 --> 00:10:20,639 Where'd you learn to do that? 277 00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:23,008 {\an1}We watch YouTube tutorials. You can find a bunch on BGG. 278 00:10:23,009 --> 00:10:24,242 I love BGG! 279 00:10:24,243 --> 00:10:25,677 Oh, cool. Do you watch Game Night? 280 00:10:25,678 --> 00:10:27,779 Excuse me! 281 00:10:27,780 --> 00:10:30,816 We are going to play the six-hour long, very thematic 282 00:10:30,817 --> 00:10:32,651 "Nemesis." 283 00:10:32,652 --> 00:10:34,853 Oh, cool, we just watched the tutorial for that 284 00:10:34,854 --> 00:10:36,155 on "Dice Tower." 285 00:10:37,790 --> 00:10:40,125 {\an8}NARRATOR: And now back to "Women in Sports" 286 00:10:40,126 --> 00:10:42,494 {\an8}with Janet Spears. 287 00:10:42,495 --> 00:10:44,429 Our next guest has been really lighting it up 288 00:10:44,430 --> 00:10:45,931 in women's competitions. 289 00:10:45,932 --> 00:10:49,000 Since she's identified as female two weeks ago, 290 00:10:49,001 --> 00:10:51,670 she's won every female sport she's entered. 291 00:10:51,671 --> 00:10:53,772 Please welcome Heather Swanson. 292 00:10:53,773 --> 00:10:55,006 Well, thank you, Janet. 293 00:10:55,007 --> 00:10:57,042 It's a great pleasure to be here. 294 00:10:57,043 --> 00:10:59,878 I know that I am an inspiration to all women 295 00:10:59,879 --> 00:11:01,847 and trans athletes everywhere. 296 00:11:01,848 --> 00:11:04,783 Yes. We are all truly inspired. 297 00:11:04,784 --> 00:11:06,518 Now, there are some women out there 298 00:11:06,519 --> 00:11:09,321 who just want to run and hide. 299 00:11:09,322 --> 00:11:11,857 I'm talkin' to you, Strong Woman. 300 00:11:11,858 --> 00:11:14,826 You still dare to call yourself that? 301 00:11:14,827 --> 00:11:16,728 Your name is a joke, 302 00:11:16,729 --> 00:11:18,563 because ol' Heather Swanson here 303 00:11:18,564 --> 00:11:22,668 will beat you anywhere, anytime, at anything. 304 00:11:24,737 --> 00:11:26,038 Hey... 305 00:11:26,039 --> 00:11:27,672 Don't let her get to you, Strong. 306 00:11:27,673 --> 00:11:29,408 She's not getting to me. 307 00:11:29,409 --> 00:11:30,742 You know, I don't know why 308 00:11:30,743 --> 00:11:32,678 she has such a grudge against you but -- 309 00:11:32,679 --> 00:11:36,181 Because I know her! 310 00:11:36,182 --> 00:11:38,350 What do you mean? 311 00:11:38,351 --> 00:11:39,851 It's Blade Jaggart. 312 00:11:39,852 --> 00:11:43,722 He -- She is my ex boyfriend. 313 00:11:43,723 --> 00:11:46,324 Wha... 314 00:11:46,325 --> 00:11:49,895 Back when we were together, he was such an asshole. 315 00:11:49,896 --> 00:11:51,430 When I finally broke up with him, 316 00:11:51,431 --> 00:11:54,232 he said, one day, he was going to get me back. 317 00:11:54,233 --> 00:11:56,702 And now he's got us both by the balls. 318 00:11:56,703 --> 00:12:00,372 But then she doesn't really care about trans people 319 00:12:00,373 --> 00:12:01,740 or women? 320 00:12:01,741 --> 00:12:04,509 He hates wom-- She hates women. 321 00:12:04,510 --> 00:12:07,112 When I left him, he felt like he got beat by a girl, 322 00:12:07,113 --> 00:12:09,514 and nothing makes Blade Jaggart more crazy 323 00:12:09,515 --> 00:12:11,683 than getting beat by a girl. 324 00:12:11,684 --> 00:12:15,587 I didn't even know people like that existed. 325 00:12:15,588 --> 00:12:17,222 CARTMAN: It is unfair. 326 00:12:17,223 --> 00:12:19,791 It is tyrannous, and it is wrong! 327 00:12:19,792 --> 00:12:21,693 Dice Studz is a board game group 328 00:12:21,694 --> 00:12:24,463 {\an1}that brings thrills and laughter to dozens of boys at our school. 329 00:12:24,464 --> 00:12:26,898 But that laughter is being turned into screams 330 00:12:26,899 --> 00:12:29,201 as girls constantly invade with their unfairness. 331 00:12:29,202 --> 00:12:31,203 The girls found Eric on the first round 332 00:12:31,204 --> 00:12:32,805 of "Fury of Dracula"! 333 00:12:35,775 --> 00:12:38,210 Yes, inclusion is wonderful, but we have to admit 334 00:12:38,211 --> 00:12:39,911 that boys and girls are simply different 335 00:12:39,912 --> 00:12:42,948 in some ways that can sometimes make competitions unfair. 336 00:12:42,949 --> 00:12:45,550 Have you ever seen how girls do their homework? 337 00:12:45,551 --> 00:12:48,387 They do it that night. 338 00:12:48,388 --> 00:12:50,322 Meticulously going over every detail 339 00:12:50,323 --> 00:12:52,758 and often finishing before they absolutely have to. 340 00:12:52,759 --> 00:12:55,093 This is how girls are with board game rule books. 341 00:12:55,094 --> 00:12:56,561 {\an1}Before we even start playing, 342 00:12:56,562 --> 00:12:58,163 they've already strategized a way to win, 343 00:12:58,164 --> 00:13:00,132 leaving others... in the dust. 344 00:13:00,133 --> 00:13:02,768 And now I'd like for you to hear from my friend Scott, 345 00:13:02,769 --> 00:13:05,437 who has diabetes. 346 00:13:05,438 --> 00:13:07,973 "My name is Scott Malkinson, and I have diabetes." 347 00:13:07,974 --> 00:13:09,608 [ Whispers ] Terminal diabetes. 348 00:13:09,609 --> 00:13:11,643 "I have terminal diabetes. 349 00:13:11,644 --> 00:13:13,845 Board games are the only thing that give me relief 350 00:13:13,846 --> 00:13:15,180 from the physical and mental anguish 351 00:13:15,181 --> 00:13:16,748 I experience every day." 352 00:13:16,749 --> 00:13:18,517 Wow, Scott, I didn't know it was that bad. 353 00:13:18,518 --> 00:13:20,352 Neither did I. 354 00:13:20,353 --> 00:13:22,521 "Dice Studz is my only shot at happiness. 355 00:13:22,522 --> 00:13:24,923 Please don't let outdated school policies destroy it." 356 00:13:24,924 --> 00:13:26,324 Wow. Thank you, Scott. 357 00:13:26,325 --> 00:13:28,193 Diabetes everyone. 358 00:13:28,194 --> 00:13:30,529 We hope that our presentation has helped to change your minds 359 00:13:30,530 --> 00:13:32,431 about school clubs in our country. 360 00:13:32,432 --> 00:13:35,467 If not, we will be back every... single... day. 361 00:13:35,468 --> 00:13:40,939 Please, let Dice Studz be for studs. 362 00:13:40,940 --> 00:13:44,342 Women's MMA fighting is growing in popularity 363 00:13:44,343 --> 00:13:48,847 and no other female fighter is as explosive as Heather Swanson. 364 00:13:48,848 --> 00:13:51,016 Yeah! 365 00:13:51,017 --> 00:13:52,884 Heather, your story is an inspiration 366 00:13:52,885 --> 00:13:54,553 to sports fans everywhere. 367 00:13:54,554 --> 00:13:57,522 Congratulations on your shocking success. 368 00:13:57,523 --> 00:14:00,625 I just hope I can motivate little girls out there. 369 00:14:00,626 --> 00:14:02,494 Motivate them to understand 370 00:14:02,495 --> 00:14:05,630 that I will beat them at any sport they try. 371 00:14:05,631 --> 00:14:07,566 Motivate them to run away 372 00:14:07,567 --> 00:14:10,836 like that chicken shit Strong Woman did because I -- 373 00:14:10,837 --> 00:14:13,038 PC PRINCIPAL: Alright. Alright. That's enough. 374 00:14:13,039 --> 00:14:14,906 You, uh... You made your point, Heather. 375 00:14:14,907 --> 00:14:17,676 We get it, okay? Oh, hey, Transphobe. 376 00:14:17,677 --> 00:14:19,878 This is a nice surprise. 377 00:14:19,879 --> 00:14:22,047 Oh, God. What is he doing? 378 00:14:22,048 --> 00:14:24,716 Look, everyone I know we're all a little... 379 00:14:24,717 --> 00:14:27,386 afraid to have any opinions on this stuff, 380 00:14:27,387 --> 00:14:30,689 but there can be situations where it's... 381 00:14:30,690 --> 00:14:33,558 not so east to... 382 00:14:33,559 --> 00:14:35,060 What I mean is... [Stammers] 383 00:14:35,061 --> 00:14:37,095 I didn't count on being the best 384 00:14:37,096 --> 00:14:39,097 since identifying as a woman. 385 00:14:39,098 --> 00:14:41,099 Yeah, no shit, 'cause you went through puberty as a male, 386 00:14:41,100 --> 00:14:43,436 so your body is completely different. 387 00:14:45,338 --> 00:14:48,707 And that's exactly what a transphobe would say! 388 00:14:48,708 --> 00:14:50,709 I told you not to call me a transphobe. 389 00:14:50,710 --> 00:14:53,278 All I want is to have a discussion. 390 00:14:53,279 --> 00:14:55,214 Transphobe. 391 00:14:58,618 --> 00:15:00,919 [ Screams, sobs ] 392 00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:03,221 Oh, shit. 393 00:15:03,222 --> 00:15:04,890 [ Sighs ] 394 00:15:04,891 --> 00:15:06,425 Isn't this nice, you guys? 395 00:15:06,426 --> 00:15:08,560 Clean fresh air, soothing sounds... 396 00:15:08,561 --> 00:15:11,363 just us boys and "Star Trek: Ascendancy." 397 00:15:11,364 --> 00:15:12,464 Hey, fellas! 398 00:15:12,465 --> 00:15:13,899 Come quick! You gotta see! 399 00:15:13,900 --> 00:15:14,933 See what? 400 00:15:14,934 --> 00:15:16,234 Well, it's the girls! 401 00:15:16,235 --> 00:15:17,636 They started their own board game club 402 00:15:17,637 --> 00:15:18,938 at the school! 403 00:15:22,208 --> 00:15:23,241 CARTMAN: "Board Girls"? 404 00:15:23,242 --> 00:15:25,144 How lame is that. 405 00:15:35,288 --> 00:15:37,489 The [bleep] is this? Wow! 406 00:15:37,490 --> 00:15:40,125 {\an1}Well, this is just like what you said Dice Studz would be, Eric! 407 00:15:40,126 --> 00:15:42,094 Oh, hey, guys. Welcome to Board Girls. 408 00:15:42,095 --> 00:15:43,495 Wanna have a look around? 409 00:15:43,496 --> 00:15:45,263 So, over here, we have our co-op games. 410 00:15:45,264 --> 00:15:46,732 I think they're doing "Sub Terra" right now. 411 00:15:46,733 --> 00:15:48,467 And there, we do our deck and engine builders. 412 00:15:48,468 --> 00:15:50,068 Have you tried "Inuit"? It's really cool. 413 00:15:50,069 --> 00:15:51,770 We have miniatures painting over there, 414 00:15:51,771 --> 00:15:54,172 and most of our miniatures gaming happens in that area. 415 00:15:54,173 --> 00:15:56,074 Hey those girls are playing "Crisis Protocol"?! 416 00:15:56,075 --> 00:15:57,442 That's not even out yet! 417 00:15:57,443 --> 00:15:59,411 Yeah, we get advanced copies of games 418 00:15:59,412 --> 00:16:01,947 because our club reviews them for our gaming channel. 419 00:16:01,948 --> 00:16:04,349 MR. MACKEY: Hey, boys! You need to get out, mkay! 420 00:16:04,350 --> 00:16:06,251 No boys in the girls' school clubs. 421 00:16:06,252 --> 00:16:08,520 Come on, let's go. STAN: What?! Who says? 422 00:16:08,521 --> 00:16:10,622 New school policy, came down from the top. 423 00:16:10,623 --> 00:16:11,957 Now get your asses outta there. 424 00:16:11,958 --> 00:16:13,992 Well, who made up that stupid rule? 425 00:16:13,993 --> 00:16:16,929 Yeah, who made up that stupid rule? 426 00:16:20,271 --> 00:16:23,606 [ Sadly ] We now return to "PC Babies." 427 00:16:23,607 --> 00:16:30,046 {\an9}♪♪ 428 00:16:30,047 --> 00:16:36,553 {\an9}♪♪ 429 00:16:36,554 --> 00:16:40,356 Are you just... not gonna come home? 430 00:16:40,357 --> 00:16:45,028 How am I gonna look my kids in the eyes, Strong? 431 00:16:45,029 --> 00:16:48,017 Since they were born, we've taught them to accept 432 00:16:48,018 --> 00:16:50,638 and fight for those who are marginalized, 433 00:16:50,639 --> 00:16:52,673 that there's no grey area when it comes 434 00:16:52,674 --> 00:16:54,942 to inclusion and acceptance. 435 00:16:54,943 --> 00:16:56,777 When I go back, all they are going to see 436 00:16:56,778 --> 00:16:59,146 is a big fat hypocrite. 437 00:16:59,147 --> 00:17:00,948 And now I just used a word to shame people 438 00:17:00,949 --> 00:17:02,610 with weight issues. 439 00:17:02,611 --> 00:17:04,225 {\an9}♪♪ 440 00:17:04,226 --> 00:17:06,527 "P"... you can't just shut down 441 00:17:06,528 --> 00:17:08,763 because you're afraid of how the babies are going to react. 442 00:17:08,764 --> 00:17:12,700 But they're right, Strong. I shoved a trans person. 443 00:17:12,701 --> 00:17:15,803 No matter what, I have no right to judge her. 444 00:17:15,804 --> 00:17:17,238 Do you think -- 445 00:17:17,239 --> 00:17:19,974 Could you try to explain it to the babies? 446 00:17:19,975 --> 00:17:22,577 You know how they are. They're babies. 447 00:17:22,578 --> 00:17:25,446 Their minds are made up before anyone says anything. 448 00:17:25,447 --> 00:17:28,116 Then I've really got only one thing I can do. 449 00:17:28,117 --> 00:17:29,550 I have to try and make things right 450 00:17:29,551 --> 00:17:31,552 with Heather Swanson. 451 00:17:31,553 --> 00:17:34,422 Uh, hey, students. 452 00:17:34,423 --> 00:17:35,823 As you know, 453 00:17:35,824 --> 00:17:37,792 we've had some issues here at the school 454 00:17:37,793 --> 00:17:40,662 that we are working very hard to correct. 455 00:17:40,663 --> 00:17:42,296 So, today we are... 456 00:17:42,297 --> 00:17:45,767 honored to have a motivational speaker. 457 00:17:45,768 --> 00:17:47,835 She is the current Strong Woman Champion 458 00:17:47,836 --> 00:17:50,471 and also the champion in Women's MMA fighting 459 00:17:50,472 --> 00:17:52,807 and in Women's Wrestling. 460 00:17:52,808 --> 00:17:56,144 Please welcome the inspiring Heather Swanson. 461 00:17:56,145 --> 00:17:58,246 [ Up-beat music plays ] 462 00:17:58,247 --> 00:17:59,981 Yeeaah! 463 00:17:59,982 --> 00:18:02,917 [Bleep] yeah! 464 00:18:02,918 --> 00:18:11,426 {\an9}♪♪ 465 00:18:11,427 --> 00:18:13,696 ♪ Oh, my God ♪ 466 00:18:16,632 --> 00:18:18,533 Hello, boys and girls. 467 00:18:18,534 --> 00:18:20,601 I'm here to talk to you because, apparently, 468 00:18:20,602 --> 00:18:22,937 your school leaders have failed you. 469 00:18:22,938 --> 00:18:24,772 I'm gonna tell you something, kids. 470 00:18:24,773 --> 00:18:27,308 There's only one thing that matters in this world, 471 00:18:27,309 --> 00:18:29,310 and that's being the best. 472 00:18:29,311 --> 00:18:32,180 Your Vice Principal teaches you girls to be strong, 473 00:18:32,181 --> 00:18:35,483 but she comes in second. 474 00:18:35,484 --> 00:18:39,120 You got anything to say about that, PC Principal? 475 00:18:39,121 --> 00:18:41,622 No, Ms. Swanson. 476 00:18:41,623 --> 00:18:43,726 "No, Ms. Swanson." 477 00:18:45,227 --> 00:18:47,862 You see, people don't look up to losers. 478 00:18:47,863 --> 00:18:50,665 They look up to champions. 479 00:18:50,666 --> 00:18:52,800 And every time I beat another woman, 480 00:18:52,801 --> 00:18:54,302 I feel better. 481 00:18:54,303 --> 00:18:55,803 Dude, I really like this person. 482 00:18:55,804 --> 00:18:57,972 {\an1}And that's why I'm the best! 483 00:18:57,973 --> 00:19:00,975 Because Heather Swanson doesn't get beat. 484 00:19:00,976 --> 00:19:03,478 I work to be the best at everything! 485 00:19:03,479 --> 00:19:06,414 And Heather Swanson will beat any other woman 486 00:19:06,415 --> 00:19:08,816 any time, anywhere! 487 00:19:08,817 --> 00:19:11,185 Bet you can't beat Nichole at "Blood Rage." 488 00:19:11,186 --> 00:19:12,553 What?! 489 00:19:12,554 --> 00:19:14,989 Wh-What did you say, transphobe? 490 00:19:14,990 --> 00:19:17,825 Yeah, but I bet you can't beat Tammy at "War of the Ring." 491 00:19:17,826 --> 00:19:20,728 You don't disrespect a champion, little girls! 492 00:19:20,729 --> 00:19:23,865 You think Heather Swanson doesn't know board games?! 493 00:19:23,866 --> 00:19:26,100 I was playing board games before your mom 494 00:19:26,101 --> 00:19:28,236 even crapped you out of her vagina. 495 00:19:28,237 --> 00:19:29,937 Okay. So, then, let's do it, bitch. 496 00:19:29,938 --> 00:19:31,739 Oh, it's on. 497 00:19:31,740 --> 00:19:36,678 {\an9}♪♪ 498 00:19:36,679 --> 00:19:39,113 ♪ Tabletop bloodbath, nothing left to say ♪ 499 00:19:39,114 --> 00:19:41,382 ♪ Your moment is here, time to make 'em pay ♪ 500 00:19:41,383 --> 00:19:43,384 ♪ Strong Woman! ♪ Strong Woman 501 00:19:43,385 --> 00:19:44,886 ♪ Strong! 502 00:19:44,887 --> 00:19:46,587 ♪ Woman! 503 00:19:46,588 --> 00:19:48,890 ♪ Smoke the competition, show 'em what you got ♪ 504 00:19:48,891 --> 00:19:50,925 ♪ All your painted miniatures are really paying off ♪ 505 00:19:50,926 --> 00:19:53,094 ♪ Strong Woman! ♪ Strong Woman 506 00:19:53,095 --> 00:19:55,063 ♪ Strong! 507 00:19:55,064 --> 00:19:56,197 ♪ Woman! 508 00:19:56,198 --> 00:19:58,566 ♪ Hey, wow 509 00:19:58,567 --> 00:20:00,735 {\an1}♪ Who's the Strong Woman now? 510 00:20:00,736 --> 00:20:03,271 ♪ And hey, you 511 00:20:03,272 --> 00:20:05,640 ♪ Thought you were the best, but you're about to lose ♪ 512 00:20:05,641 --> 00:20:07,875 ♪ To the Board Girls, they got the moves ♪ 513 00:20:07,876 --> 00:20:09,444 ♪ They pummeled you at "Alchemists" ♪ 514 00:20:09,445 --> 00:20:10,912 ♪ And kicked your ass in "Carcosonne" ♪ 515 00:20:10,913 --> 00:20:12,947 ♪ Board Girls, they know all the rules ♪ 516 00:20:12,948 --> 00:20:15,650 ♪ They watch Rodney Smith, Tom Vasel, and Becca Scott ♪ 517 00:20:15,651 --> 00:20:17,585 ♪ Hey, cool 518 00:20:17,586 --> 00:20:20,054 {\an1}♪ They made you look a fool 519 00:20:20,055 --> 00:20:22,657 ♪ And hey, sweet 520 00:20:22,658 --> 00:20:25,059 ♪ Take a step down, you just got beat ♪ 521 00:20:25,060 --> 00:20:26,761 ♪ By the Board Girls 522 00:20:26,762 --> 00:20:29,130 [ All cheering ] ♪ Strong! 523 00:20:29,131 --> 00:20:31,632 {\an1}♪ Strong Woman, Strong Woman! HEATHER: You think that's fair?! 524 00:20:31,633 --> 00:20:33,568 You only won because you dumb girls 525 00:20:33,569 --> 00:20:35,403 memorize the rule books! 526 00:20:35,404 --> 00:20:39,007 When I play games, I just wanna be a pirate or a spaceman. 527 00:20:39,008 --> 00:20:42,110 That's right! You and your stupid rules! 528 00:20:42,111 --> 00:20:45,947 I may identify as a woman now, but I grew up a boy 529 00:20:45,948 --> 00:20:48,249 and so you have an unfair advantage over me! 530 00:20:48,250 --> 00:20:50,652 Yeah, an unfair advantage, you stupid girls! 531 00:20:50,653 --> 00:20:54,189 Come on, Ms. Swanson. We can go make our own club! 532 00:20:55,324 --> 00:20:57,660 [ Cheering resumes ] 533 00:21:00,462 --> 00:21:02,530 You sure you're ready for this? 534 00:21:02,531 --> 00:21:05,767 I just want to get it over with. 535 00:21:05,768 --> 00:21:06,934 -Mommy! -Momma! 536 00:21:06,935 --> 00:21:08,336 -Mommy! -Yay, Mommy! 537 00:21:08,337 --> 00:21:11,073 Yes, kids. And look who else is here. 538 00:21:12,775 --> 00:21:13,941 -Daddy! -Daddy! 539 00:21:13,942 --> 00:21:15,777 -Yeah, Daddy! -Dada! 540 00:21:15,778 --> 00:21:17,679 Dada. I wove you. 541 00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:20,014 I -- I don't understand. 542 00:21:20,015 --> 00:21:21,616 They don't care. 543 00:21:21,617 --> 00:21:23,284 They must see the nuance 544 00:21:23,285 --> 00:21:25,486 to this whole situation. You're right! 545 00:21:25,487 --> 00:21:27,989 They realize that raising a gender-based issue of strength 546 00:21:27,990 --> 00:21:30,058 doesn't necessarily make one a bigot or a bully. 547 00:21:30,059 --> 00:21:31,359 All this time, we were worried 548 00:21:31,360 --> 00:21:32,860 what the PC Babies would think. 549 00:21:32,861 --> 00:21:34,529 And we didn't realize 550 00:21:34,530 --> 00:21:37,231 that our little babies are growing up. 551 00:21:37,232 --> 00:21:39,901 [ Laughter ] 552 00:21:39,902 --> 00:21:44,907 {\an9}♪♪ 553 00:21:46,008 --> 00:21:55,650 {\an9}♪♪ 554 00:21:55,651 --> 00:22:05,326 {\an9}♪♪ 555 00:22:05,327 --> 00:22:14,670 {\an9}♪♪ 45884

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