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1
00:00:57,257 --> 00:00:59,191
These houses all look
the same to me.
2
00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:02,088
That"s because...
they are all the fucking same!
3
00:01:02,395 --> 00:01:06,092
Is it me or is it
"The Telegraph" crossword?
4
00:01:06,299 --> 00:01:08,529
Is what you
or "The Telegraph" crossword?
5
00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:10,032
Lt"s getting difficult.
6
00:01:10,236 --> 00:01:15,230
Is it more difficult to do or
is my ability to do it lessening?
7
00:01:15,442 --> 00:01:17,433
Probably a bit of both, Freddie.
8
00:01:17,644 --> 00:01:19,908
It can"t be "anal", can it?
9
00:01:20,113 --> 00:01:22,911
No, dear.
Not on "The Telegraph"!
10
00:01:23,349 --> 00:01:27,012
Your handwriting is a disgrace.
I can hardly read this, can I?
11
00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:28,987
Is this the address
that he gave you?
12
00:01:29,189 --> 00:01:33,023
Yeah. That"s what it says.
It"s where we picked him up!
13
00:01:34,727 --> 00:01:36,217
You want some of this?
14
00:01:37,497 --> 00:01:38,521
Dirt bag!
15
00:01:39,899 --> 00:01:42,891
God! Who on Earth
could that be at this time?
16
00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:46,266
- L"ll go, dear.
- No, no, no. L"ll get it.
17
00:01:55,148 --> 00:01:57,207
L"m afraid you"ve got
the wrong house.
18
00:01:57,417 --> 00:01:59,942
- How would you know that now?
- L"ve told you.
19
00:02:01,454 --> 00:02:05,788
Now take your foot out of the door
or I shall have to call the police.
20
00:02:05,992 --> 00:02:09,587
Listen up, major, we"ve come
to see Stanley Kubrick.
21
00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:12,287
There"s no one of that name here.
Good night.
22
00:02:12,499 --> 00:02:14,399
Who are you? The butler?
23
00:02:14,667 --> 00:02:16,862
No, l"m not the bloody butler.
24
00:02:17,070 --> 00:02:21,404
Go tell your master Mr. Kubrick
that we have come to see him.
25
00:02:21,608 --> 00:02:23,473
- Mister who?
- Kubrick.
26
00:02:23,676 --> 00:02:25,871
The famous film director.
27
00:02:26,079 --> 00:02:29,378
- Never heard of him.
- Stanley has been a frequenter...
28
00:02:29,582 --> 00:02:33,211
of a club that we and some associates
run over in King"s Cross, all right?
29
00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:37,286
He"s run up a bloody big bar bill
of 200 quid last Thursday...
30
00:02:37,524 --> 00:02:39,890
and he borrowed
one hundred in Nelsons.
31
00:02:41,261 --> 00:02:43,024
- Nelsons?
- Nelson Neddies.
32
00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:46,090
Reddies, cash, squire.
33
00:02:46,299 --> 00:02:49,325
Cash is what the poor people use
instead of credit card, you sawy?
34
00:02:49,536 --> 00:02:51,970
There"s no man of that name here.
35
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:55,801
And there are no reddies,
no Nelson Eddies. So...
36
00:02:58,411 --> 00:03:01,107
We know he lives here!
Well, enough of this.
37
00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:04,483
We know he lives here
because we picked him up from here!
38
00:03:05,485 --> 00:03:07,680
Steven, if you please.
39
00:03:13,359 --> 00:03:15,884
- He owes us money!
- And he"s hiding in there!
40
00:03:16,095 --> 00:03:18,495
For the last time,
button it, you two!
41
00:04:02,976 --> 00:04:05,103
What a wonderful drawing!
42
00:04:05,945 --> 00:04:07,742
And such inovative design.
43
00:04:08,214 --> 00:04:11,706
Good designs are as rare today...
44
00:04:12,051 --> 00:04:14,611
as good scripts,
please, believe me.
45
00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:16,813
Are they?
46
00:04:18,024 --> 00:04:19,889
Do you mind if I join you?
47
00:04:22,462 --> 00:04:23,724
Please.
48
00:04:25,431 --> 00:04:27,262
Thank you. That"s very kind.
49
00:04:28,201 --> 00:04:32,695
L"ve been at the film studios
in a production meeting all day.
50
00:04:35,341 --> 00:04:37,901
I just had to have a drink
on the way home.
51
00:04:38,745 --> 00:04:41,270
I just had to.
Would you?
52
00:04:42,048 --> 00:04:43,640
No. Not just now, thanks.
53
00:04:45,385 --> 00:04:46,818
May I?
54
00:04:48,421 --> 00:04:49,649
Yes, please.
55
00:04:59,432 --> 00:05:04,028
- Are these your designs?
- L"ve put together a new collection.
56
00:05:05,738 --> 00:05:09,265
L"m very impressed.
It"s very... original.
57
00:05:09,909 --> 00:05:12,377
That is a charming suit.
58
00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:17,010
L"d be very proud
to wear a suit like that.
59
00:05:20,019 --> 00:05:22,078
You must be very successful.
60
00:05:22,889 --> 00:05:28,350
L"ve got designs being considered by
knit wear company in Huddersfield...
61
00:05:28,695 --> 00:05:32,290
and there"s a boutique in Brighton
very interested in my jackets.
62
00:05:32,632 --> 00:05:37,296
There"s a man in Margaret Street who
thinks my trousers are so exciting.
63
00:05:38,438 --> 00:05:40,998
- He does?
- Yes, he just loves them.
64
00:05:42,308 --> 00:05:45,675
And so he should, my friend.
So he should.
65
00:05:47,847 --> 00:05:51,613
- L"m sorry, what is your name?
- L"m Rupert. Rupert Rodnight.
66
00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:55,919
And l"m quite exceptionally
pleased to meet you.
67
00:05:58,324 --> 00:05:59,689
Good. Thank you.
68
00:06:02,261 --> 00:06:03,922
I didn"t catch your name.
69
00:06:04,597 --> 00:06:05,859
Stanley.
70
00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:08,159
Stanley.
71
00:06:09,535 --> 00:06:10,934
Stanley Kubrick.
72
00:06:12,772 --> 00:06:14,000
Stanley Kubrick?
73
00:06:15,742 --> 00:06:17,710
What? Stanley Kubrick,
the film director?
74
00:06:17,910 --> 00:06:19,878
Yes, unless there is another one.
75
00:06:30,690 --> 00:06:32,715
There you are, Stanley.
Another triple brandy.
76
00:06:33,292 --> 00:06:35,055
Thanks, you are a sweetie.
77
00:06:35,628 --> 00:06:39,086
And l"ll reciprocate
this kindness as soon as l"ve...
78
00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:43,896
been to the bank and sorted out
all these damn stolen credit cards.
79
00:06:44,103 --> 00:06:45,798
No, it"s not a problem, honestly.
80
00:06:46,005 --> 00:06:50,499
It is. Such graciousness
cannot go unrecognized.
81
00:06:51,811 --> 00:06:54,871
Do you know? L"ve never designed
the costumes for a film before.
82
00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:56,571
I mean, any film.
83
00:06:56,916 --> 00:07:02,047
This portfolio of yours convinces me
that only you could do it.
84
00:07:03,022 --> 00:07:06,822
I think this is gonna be
the happiest relationship...
85
00:07:07,026 --> 00:07:09,460
l"ve ever had
with a costume designer.
86
00:07:10,663 --> 00:07:12,597
You haven"t told
me the title yet.
87
00:07:12,999 --> 00:07:15,866
It"s catchy. It"s called
"Designer Death". It"s about...
88
00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:19,333
a male model
who stumbles upon a murder.
89
00:07:19,806 --> 00:07:23,435
And designing his wardrobe
is what I want you to do.
90
00:07:23,643 --> 00:07:26,043
We shoot on location there
on Pinewood Studios.
91
00:07:26,245 --> 00:07:29,214
Have to be with me the whole time.
92
00:07:30,149 --> 00:07:31,309
It"s a challenge.
93
00:07:35,254 --> 00:07:37,279
No. The whole time.
94
00:07:52,538 --> 00:07:55,473
Sorry, but I feel
so much more relaxed now.
95
00:07:56,609 --> 00:07:58,543
Can I get you another Spitzer?
96
00:07:59,846 --> 00:08:02,007
No, no, I still got some left.
97
00:08:05,551 --> 00:08:07,519
Ah, such a nice apartment.
98
00:08:09,555 --> 00:08:11,216
And very cheap.
99
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:17,228
My people rented it for me
under an assumed name...
100
00:08:17,430 --> 00:08:20,058
so I could be nearer
to the studio...
101
00:08:20,266 --> 00:08:22,097
l"m building in Wealdstone.
102
00:08:23,236 --> 00:08:26,399
But, Rupert, you mustn"t tell
anyone about that. You mustn"t.
103
00:08:26,606 --> 00:08:29,439
Oh, no, no.
It"s an absolute secret with me.
104
00:08:29,942 --> 00:08:31,739
I knew it would be.
105
00:08:32,745 --> 00:08:36,442
Now we"re working, of course,
very feverishly on the script.
106
00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:41,878
But I have to get you a hardcopy...
107
00:08:42,088 --> 00:08:45,114
so you can start designing
for specific scenes.
108
00:08:45,791 --> 00:08:47,759
By the way, do you have an agent?
109
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:51,293
No, l"ve always handled myself.
110
00:08:52,298 --> 00:08:54,596
I used to handle myself...
111
00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:57,963
but now I prefer
letting someone else do it.
112
00:08:58,471 --> 00:09:00,564
You don"t always
have the choice, do you?
113
00:09:03,109 --> 00:09:04,872
We don"t always have the choice.
114
00:09:06,145 --> 00:09:08,204
L"m going to take you
under my wing...
115
00:09:08,648 --> 00:09:12,140
and l"m going to make sure
that nobody handles you...
116
00:09:13,619 --> 00:09:15,416
except myself.
117
00:09:33,739 --> 00:09:36,003
I need to speak to Mr. Kubrick!
118
00:09:36,208 --> 00:09:39,405
I need to see Mr. Kubrick!Where is he?
119
00:09:39,879 --> 00:09:40,971
I need justice!
120
00:09:42,748 --> 00:09:46,149
I need the justice and the
satisfaction that is due to me!
121
00:09:48,721 --> 00:09:50,689
I want this Stanley Kubrick!
122
00:09:52,191 --> 00:09:55,024
Come on, sir.
Come along with us, please.
123
00:09:55,227 --> 00:09:56,455
Calm down.
124
00:09:58,364 --> 00:10:02,198
Just get in the car!
Thank you.
125
00:10:06,839 --> 00:10:10,275
He alone was going to finance and
produce my "Virginia Woolf".
126
00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:13,812
I turned all the other backers away.
127
00:10:14,313 --> 00:10:17,476
I told my friends, the cast...
128
00:10:19,585 --> 00:10:21,348
"Mr. Kubrick"s behind me".
129
00:11:54,113 --> 00:11:55,740
Yes, l"m a personal friend!
130
00:11:56,649 --> 00:11:59,117
Yes, a personal friend
of Stanley Kubrick.
131
00:11:59,685 --> 00:12:01,380
I need to contact him.
132
00:12:01,587 --> 00:12:04,681
The number I have for his home seems
to be out of order or something.
133
00:12:11,097 --> 00:12:13,588
How can you not have heard ofhim? He"s a famous movie director!
134
00:12:14,333 --> 00:12:19,168
Yeah. "2001 - Spacey Odissey",
"The Shining"...
135
00:12:20,806 --> 00:12:24,003
What else? "Doctor Strangelove",
"Clockwork Orange"!
136
00:12:25,544 --> 00:12:27,842
"Full Metal Jacket",
you must have heard of that!
137
00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:31,576
So the band is playing this gigup in Camden.
138
00:12:31,784 --> 00:12:35,242
This guy comes up to me and startstrying to tell me how good they are.
139
00:12:35,454 --> 00:12:37,046
Then he tells me who he is.
140
00:12:37,656 --> 00:12:39,783
Stanley Kubrick, the film director.
141
00:12:40,059 --> 00:12:42,459
- Stanley "fucking" Kubrick!
- Fuck me!
142
00:12:42,695 --> 00:12:46,529
Exactly. Amazing.
So, anyway, we get chatting...
143
00:12:46,866 --> 00:12:50,131
and Stanley says how he can help us.
You know, help the band.
144
00:12:50,402 --> 00:12:53,462
Who would"ve thought Stanley Kubrick
was into heavy metal, then?
145
00:12:53,672 --> 00:12:56,232
So he said "When is the next gig?"
I told him about this one at Roxxy.
146
00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:58,637
- And he wanted to come?
- Right.
147
00:12:58,844 --> 00:13:01,506
So I said we"d pick him up,
ferry him out there.
148
00:13:01,714 --> 00:13:03,409
He"s got a big apartment
in Little Venice.
149
00:13:03,682 --> 00:13:06,276
- That"s where we"re collecting him.
- Pretty smart address.
150
00:13:06,485 --> 00:13:07,782
The guy"s loaded...
151
00:13:07,987 --> 00:13:10,979
but more important than that:
He"s got the contacts.
152
00:13:11,690 --> 00:13:14,352
You see, normally,
l"d have this address in...
153
00:13:14,927 --> 00:13:18,988
Belgravia. And what l"d do,
you see, is that...
154
00:13:19,198 --> 00:13:22,929
the people I was meeting,very important people.
155
00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:27,928
L"d give them this address andthey"d come by to pick me up...
156
00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:30,108
at a very specific time.
157
00:13:33,078 --> 00:13:34,705
And when they got there...
158
00:13:35,247 --> 00:13:37,738
l"d be sittingon the front steps...
159
00:13:38,250 --> 00:13:41,549
pretty as a picture.You see?
160
00:13:44,356 --> 00:13:46,085
It always worked.
161
00:14:00,973 --> 00:14:04,602
- Nothing here now, dear.
- They thought it was my house.
162
00:14:05,744 --> 00:14:06,972
Simple.
163
00:14:08,747 --> 00:14:12,843
But then the neighborhood
started to go downhill.
164
00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:16,951
Arabs, blacks,
all sorts of riff-raff.
165
00:14:17,223 --> 00:14:21,990
Obviously, I couldn"t find myself
associated with those people...
166
00:14:23,395 --> 00:14:28,560
so I decided to find somewhere
a little more media-ish.
167
00:14:29,268 --> 00:14:31,930
You know, a little more me.
168
00:14:33,839 --> 00:14:36,137
Little Venice.
169
00:14:52,791 --> 00:14:56,124
You didn"t tell him you usedto make a few pirate tapes...
170
00:14:56,328 --> 00:14:58,159
of "Clockwork Orange",
up at Camden, did you?
171
00:14:58,364 --> 00:14:59,524
Shut up, Toby.
172
00:15:21,053 --> 00:15:24,147
- You see the numbers?
- L"ll slow down, have a squint.
173
00:15:49,181 --> 00:15:50,910
He"ll probably
invite us up for drinks.
174
00:15:51,116 --> 00:15:53,607
L"ve never met anyone
like Stanley Kubrick.
175
00:15:58,557 --> 00:16:00,115
It"s flat 8.
176
00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:03,557
Right. Flat 8.
177
00:16:03,762 --> 00:16:05,753
Gentlemen, over here!
178
00:16:06,832 --> 00:16:08,959
Here I am! Over here
179
00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:15,206
You simply must forgive me!
You simply must!
180
00:16:15,407 --> 00:16:19,935
L"ve been talking over old
creative differences with Marlon!
181
00:16:20,512 --> 00:16:24,175
The trouble with Marlon is
he thinks he"s Brando.
182
00:16:25,284 --> 00:16:28,651
He would not let me go!
Simply wouldn"t!
183
00:16:29,188 --> 00:16:31,315
That"s all right, Stanley!
Good to see ya!
184
00:16:32,057 --> 00:16:35,857
Very good to see you, Spencer!
Very good indeed!
185
00:16:36,328 --> 00:16:40,094
This is Toby! He"s the co-manager
of Exterminating Angels!
186
00:16:40,499 --> 00:16:42,296
We"re working together!
187
00:16:43,502 --> 00:16:48,064
- Very good to see you, Toby!
- Pleased to meet you, Mr. Kubrick!
188
00:16:49,708 --> 00:16:51,141
Stanley, please.
189
00:16:56,215 --> 00:16:58,877
So, what movie are you
working on now, Stan?
190
00:16:59,084 --> 00:17:01,780
It is a science fiction
comedy-drama...
191
00:17:01,987 --> 00:17:06,048
Iove affair, caper movies,
set in the future.
192
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,653
Sounds great. What"s it called?
193
00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:15,432
"All Night Prescriptions".
194
00:17:15,834 --> 00:17:19,099
Wacky title.
"All Night Prescriptions".
195
00:17:19,738 --> 00:17:21,797
So, who have you got in it, Stan?
196
00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:25,472
L"ve still got the casting to do.
197
00:17:25,844 --> 00:17:28,745
Madonna wants in,
but I told her, "Madonna"...
198
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:35,578
I told her, "Madonna, darling,
stick to the day job: The singing".
199
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:40,753
Jack Nicholson wants in to,
but I said to him, "Jack...
200
00:17:41,093 --> 00:17:43,357
you know what the protocol is.
201
00:17:43,629 --> 00:17:46,894
L"ve got to offer it
to Harrison Ford first".
202
00:17:47,232 --> 00:17:52,602
And little Tommy Cruise would like a
part, and I said to him "Perhaps"...
203
00:17:53,038 --> 00:17:56,132
over breakfast this morning
at the Savoy.
204
00:17:56,975 --> 00:17:59,944
Jesus! Some line-up, Stan!
205
00:18:00,612 --> 00:18:02,842
Now, boys, in this next movie...
206
00:18:03,048 --> 00:18:06,643
a metal rock group
plays a very important part.
207
00:18:07,453 --> 00:18:11,719
That"s where
Exterminating Angels comes in.
208
00:18:12,124 --> 00:18:14,524
I need an unknown group...
209
00:18:14,726 --> 00:18:17,752
but one possesses star quality.
210
00:18:18,197 --> 00:18:21,132
Exterminating Angels
are your lads, Stanley.
211
00:18:21,333 --> 00:18:22,857
They"ve got everything it takes.
212
00:18:23,368 --> 00:18:25,393
Well, then you should listen,
shouldn"t you?
213
00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:28,899
Well, I presume that"s what you"re
supposed to do, or am I mistaken?
214
00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:31,576
I am a personal friend
of Stanley Kubrick!
215
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:33,635
Yes, that"s who I am!
216
00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:36,038
And one word from Mr. Kubrick...
217
00:18:36,248 --> 00:18:38,808
and you would be out of a job,
you stupid little man!
218
00:18:45,324 --> 00:18:47,292
Back in a few, boys.
219
00:18:52,931 --> 00:18:55,399
- We"ve got it fucking made!
- I know.
220
00:18:56,101 --> 00:18:59,036
I can actually see Exterminating
Angels becoming a phenomenon.
221
00:18:59,271 --> 00:19:00,295
That"s for sure.
222
00:19:00,506 --> 00:19:02,838
If we haven"t got phenomena
potential, then I don"t know who has.
223
00:19:03,375 --> 00:19:06,640
Either of you boys
have any cash on you?
224
00:19:06,845 --> 00:19:09,439
I seem to have left
my Laser Platinum...
225
00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:13,015
no-limit American
Express VIP card at home.
226
00:19:13,318 --> 00:19:15,115
Sure, Stan.
How much do you want?
227
00:19:15,521 --> 00:19:19,287
Enough for some cigarretes
and a drop of vodka...
228
00:19:19,491 --> 00:19:21,391
for my throat irritation.
229
00:19:21,593 --> 00:19:23,458
Here"s twenty.
Keep the change.
230
00:19:26,565 --> 00:19:29,227
Rich people never have
any cash on them, do they?
231
00:19:29,434 --> 00:19:31,459
- I mean, it"s vulgar.
- They don"t.
232
00:19:32,671 --> 00:19:35,936
But that, Toby, my old son, has got
to be the best fucking 20 quid...
233
00:19:36,141 --> 00:19:38,803
we"ve ever invested
in our whole fucking lives!
234
00:19:39,845 --> 00:19:41,710
Fucking Stanley
fucking Kubrick, man!
235
00:19:41,914 --> 00:19:44,212
- Don"t do that in front of him.
- So what?
236
00:19:46,351 --> 00:19:48,945
Either of you boys
crave a taste?
237
00:19:49,388 --> 00:19:52,186
No, it"s all right, Stan.
Not while l"m at the wheel.
238
00:19:54,326 --> 00:19:56,590
All the way from Acton,West London...
239
00:19:56,795 --> 00:19:59,025
the one and only
Exterminating Angels!
240
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:41,836
Boys, I believe
Exterminating Angels...
241
00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:47,239
will become a coast-to-coast
sensation in America.
242
00:20:47,946 --> 00:20:50,414
But we have to be careful
how we play it...
243
00:20:50,616 --> 00:20:54,052
because you do not get
a second chance...
244
00:20:54,453 --> 00:20:59,186
to make a first impression
on the great American public!
245
00:20:59,458 --> 00:21:01,426
You fucking ass!
246
00:21:02,027 --> 00:21:05,656
I knew l"d get a hold of you
one day, you fucking "great doctor"!
247
00:21:06,031 --> 00:21:07,396
Hold on!
248
00:21:07,599 --> 00:21:09,658
You"ve had it.
You have tons of money! Fuck it!
249
00:21:09,868 --> 00:21:12,769
- Wait. You"re way out of it, Pilgrim!
- Oh, yeah? Let me at him!
250
00:21:12,971 --> 00:21:15,462
We"re not having anyone
talking like that to our guest!
251
00:21:15,674 --> 00:21:19,633
"Our guest!" Oh, I pray you, tell,
why on Earth fucking not?
252
00:21:19,845 --> 00:21:21,472
Because he"s our fucking guest...
253
00:21:21,780 --> 00:21:24,715
and "cause he"s Stanley
fucking Kubrick, that"s why.
254
00:21:24,916 --> 00:21:27,817
No, he fucking ain"t!
He ain"t Stanley Kubrick!
255
00:21:28,020 --> 00:21:30,454
He"s a fucking conman
called Alan Conway...
256
00:21:30,656 --> 00:21:33,921
and he owes my band 200 fucking quid
which he don"t have it!
257
00:21:34,559 --> 00:21:35,787
What?
258
00:21:36,028 --> 00:21:38,292
I wanna drag him out!
259
00:21:45,604 --> 00:21:47,936
You"re fucking joking! There he is!
260
00:21:49,341 --> 00:21:50,603
You wanker!
261
00:21:50,809 --> 00:21:51,935
You fucking Conway!
262
00:21:52,277 --> 00:21:54,711
Never had a famous film director
in my cab before.
263
00:21:56,915 --> 00:21:59,543
Well, thank you
for a very pleasant chat.
264
00:22:00,218 --> 00:22:05,019
Deepak, you"ve got my number,
so there"s no excuse not to call.
265
00:22:05,223 --> 00:22:08,681
My idea is to start you off
on some standing role...
266
00:22:08,927 --> 00:22:12,328
and then gravitate toward
some small speaking roles.
267
00:22:13,231 --> 00:22:14,596
Over the moon, I am!
268
00:22:15,067 --> 00:22:17,433
Now, you need to wait
for me a couple of minutes.
269
00:22:17,736 --> 00:22:21,297
L"m gonna run in and
borrow some cash off my son.
270
00:22:22,174 --> 00:22:28,010
L"m going to leave here in the back
my Louis Vuitton shoulder bag...
271
00:22:28,246 --> 00:22:32,114
which Louis himself personally
gave me, for your piece of mind.
272
00:22:32,317 --> 00:22:34,581
- There"s no need to do that, Mr...
- Ah! I insist.
273
00:23:29,775 --> 00:23:33,438
You say he was ordinary
looking, average height...
274
00:23:34,112 --> 00:23:37,639
and to that, we can add that
he calls himself Stanley Kubrick.
275
00:23:37,849 --> 00:23:40,909
He cost me 40 quid.
40 fucking quid!
276
00:23:41,686 --> 00:23:42,983
Okay, sir.
277
00:23:43,321 --> 00:23:47,690
Now, we can go formal,
and you can give us a statement...
278
00:23:48,393 --> 00:23:50,156
and while you"re doing that...
279
00:23:50,362 --> 00:23:54,321
l"ll get one of my PCs to verify the
road-worthiness of your vehicle.
280
00:23:55,567 --> 00:23:58,035
Or... We can call it a night.
281
00:23:58,904 --> 00:24:00,235
Damn it!
282
00:24:09,748 --> 00:24:13,013
You know, Sean,
I don"t mind you staying here...
283
00:24:13,218 --> 00:24:16,210
but you really must learn
how to tidy up after yourself.
284
00:24:16,855 --> 00:24:21,986
And I do not like your dirty knickers
and socks in the kitchen sink.
285
00:24:22,661 --> 00:24:24,959
There"s a laundro down the road.
286
00:24:25,163 --> 00:24:27,131
Yeah, keep your wig on, Stanley.
287
00:24:28,834 --> 00:24:32,531
- Did you see this here in the paper?
- What in the paper?
288
00:24:32,737 --> 00:24:36,036
About this serial gay killer who"s
going all over London and killing?
289
00:24:36,308 --> 00:24:37,639
No, what about it?
290
00:24:38,310 --> 00:24:42,007
Well, it says he murdered someone
last night over in Tennyson Road.
291
00:24:43,315 --> 00:24:46,876
Tennyson Road?
But that"s just at the end here.
292
00:24:47,085 --> 00:24:49,315
You got any fairies at your garden?
293
00:24:50,222 --> 00:24:51,246
No.
294
00:24:51,456 --> 00:24:53,720
Perhaps he might be
paying you a visit next.
295
00:24:54,059 --> 00:24:55,617
What"s the world coming to, eh?
296
00:24:55,961 --> 00:24:58,452
When a bloke can"t go around,
minding his own business...
297
00:24:58,663 --> 00:25:00,290
commiting acts against nature...
298
00:25:00,499 --> 00:25:02,899
without running the risk of
bumping into a homicidal maniac?
299
00:25:03,335 --> 00:25:04,825
Too right.
300
00:25:05,370 --> 00:25:07,270
I know him very well.
301
00:25:07,506 --> 00:25:11,272
Of course, he left his calling card
in "2001- Spacey Odissey", but...
302
00:25:11,476 --> 00:25:13,808
- none of us recognized it.
- 2001?
303
00:25:14,012 --> 00:25:15,536
Yes, HAL computer.
????
...
304
00:25:15,747 --> 00:25:19,183
Positively Danny Debonair,
with that voice.
305
00:25:19,551 --> 00:25:21,416
That"s why he killed the astronaut.
306
00:25:21,620 --> 00:25:23,850
Wanted to be alone
with the other beef cake.
307
00:25:25,724 --> 00:25:28,249
What"s he working on now, Kubrick?
308
00:25:28,693 --> 00:25:31,526
He"s doing a remake of that
Julie Christie film, "Darling".
309
00:25:31,830 --> 00:25:33,525
And she"s a boy this time.
310
00:25:34,399 --> 00:25:37,527
They wouldn"t let John Schlesinger
get away with that in the 1960"s.
311
00:25:37,736 --> 00:25:38,964
It sounds captivating.
312
00:25:39,170 --> 00:25:41,035
It is, dear.
Very captivating.
313
00:25:41,373 --> 00:25:45,275
L"ve got a rather juicy part in it.
So it"ll be good-bye soaps for "moi".
314
00:25:45,510 --> 00:25:48,946
Well, they do say in Hollywood
the only way to the top...
315
00:25:49,581 --> 00:25:51,105
is through the bottom.
316
00:26:07,599 --> 00:26:10,124
- L"m a friend of Stanley Kubrick.
- I couldn"t hear that.
317
00:26:10,468 --> 00:26:13,028
- Stan and I were talking about you.
- Really?
318
00:26:14,039 --> 00:26:15,631
Yeah. Come meet Stan.
319
00:26:32,924 --> 00:26:35,620
I want to get into films, sir.
I really do.
320
00:26:36,461 --> 00:26:37,758
Well...
321
00:26:45,537 --> 00:26:48,062
He"s straight.
I think it"d be worthy.
322
00:26:48,673 --> 00:26:50,197
To advance his career.
323
00:26:51,509 --> 00:26:53,409
Do you like them straight?
324
00:26:54,613 --> 00:26:56,342
That"s the attraction, eh?
325
00:27:08,793 --> 00:27:11,193
"Dear Mr. Kubrick...
326
00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:18,633
I would like to alert you
to an impostor who uses your name...
327
00:27:18,837 --> 00:27:20,134
"Stanley Kubrick"...
328
00:27:20,605 --> 00:27:22,800
as a cover for his wicked actions.
329
00:27:23,608 --> 00:27:25,599
His real name is Alan Conway.
330
00:27:25,810 --> 00:27:27,641
I first met him
in Marseille last year...
331
00:27:27,846 --> 00:27:29,905
when I was working as a rent boy.
332
00:27:30,148 --> 00:27:32,048
Conway recks people"s lives...
333
00:27:32,684 --> 00:27:34,311
and has no moral conscience."
334
00:27:35,553 --> 00:27:37,885
All yours, my friend.
Now, that will be...
335
00:27:40,025 --> 00:27:42,084
�16.20.
336
00:27:42,694 --> 00:27:45,254
And you won"t mind a check,
of course, Mordecai?
337
00:27:45,563 --> 00:27:47,861
Oh, no, no, no.
You live around the corner.
338
00:27:51,603 --> 00:27:52,592
Advice.
339
00:27:54,105 --> 00:27:57,973
You were gonna give me some.
The amateur rock group that I manage.
340
00:27:58,176 --> 00:28:00,406
Mordecai, it"s tricky, you see?
341
00:28:00,612 --> 00:28:05,572
Rock is the single most treacherous
area for the show biz entrepreneur.
342
00:28:06,951 --> 00:28:09,419
As a matter of fact,
when I was in L. A...
343
00:28:09,621 --> 00:28:12,818
I had to sort out some
really sticky problems for Bruce.
344
00:28:14,225 --> 00:28:15,192
What Bruce?
345
00:28:15,994 --> 00:28:17,552
Springsteen.
346
00:28:21,099 --> 00:28:25,297
Why don"t you come around my house
tomorrow evening, say eightish...
347
00:28:25,603 --> 00:28:27,696
and we"ll discuss it fully then.
348
00:28:28,506 --> 00:28:30,167
Got you.
349
00:28:31,743 --> 00:28:32,801
Will be there.
350
00:28:34,679 --> 00:28:36,738
There"s Stanley.
Stanley!
351
00:28:37,682 --> 00:28:39,877
- How are you?
- How are you, Jasper?
352
00:28:40,785 --> 00:28:43,117
L"d like you to meet Oliver,
my lawyer.
353
00:28:43,354 --> 00:28:45,015
Oliver, Stanley Kubrick.
354
00:28:45,256 --> 00:28:47,224
Very great honor
to meet you, Mr. Kubrick.
355
00:28:47,459 --> 00:28:51,122
No, Stanley, please. You know,
that "Mr." puts years on me!
356
00:28:51,996 --> 00:28:53,088
Sure.
357
00:28:53,298 --> 00:28:56,597
Shall we repair to the "salle priv�",
where we can talk in private?
358
00:28:57,502 --> 00:29:00,266
Show me the way
to the "salle priv�"!
359
00:29:00,638 --> 00:29:01,764
Excellent.
360
00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:04,267
- Figgy?
- Sir?
361
00:29:04,642 --> 00:29:06,542
- Bottle of champers.
- Coming out.
362
00:29:09,714 --> 00:29:13,582
When you told me you lost your
Limited Edition Mont Blanc pen...
363
00:29:13,785 --> 00:29:15,446
that Tom Cruise had given you...
364
00:29:15,653 --> 00:29:19,487
I thought the very least
I could do was to replace it.
365
00:29:21,059 --> 00:29:22,390
Shall I open?
366
00:29:27,365 --> 00:29:32,302
Oh, my God, that is perfect!
That is absolutely perfect!
367
00:29:34,873 --> 00:29:37,808
Oh, Jasper, l"m so touched!
368
00:29:38,910 --> 00:29:40,605
L"m too kind!
369
00:29:40,845 --> 00:29:43,006
Oh, l"m so pleased that
you"re pleased, Stanley.
370
00:29:43,214 --> 00:29:45,842
It"s wonderful! Look at that!
371
00:29:48,286 --> 00:29:49,651
Do you have the receipt?
372
00:29:51,556 --> 00:29:54,855
So... You"re not feeling yourself?
373
00:29:55,460 --> 00:29:57,325
He didn"t say
he wasn"t feeling himself.
374
00:29:57,529 --> 00:29:59,827
He said he wasn"t himself.
He was somebody else.
375
00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:04,095
Since when? And who?
376
00:30:04,636 --> 00:30:05,728
Didn"t say.
377
00:30:07,438 --> 00:30:11,306
To me, he"s Alan Conway.
To you, he"s Alan Conway.
378
00:30:11,576 --> 00:30:14,067
Yes, but to him,
he"s not Alan Conway.
379
00:30:16,247 --> 00:30:19,444
- Who is he, then?
- What I said was...
380
00:30:19,918 --> 00:30:22,751
l"m not who you think I am.
381
00:30:24,155 --> 00:30:25,554
Didn"t I say that?
382
00:30:28,126 --> 00:30:32,119
Alan Conway is merely
a name I use when l"m here.
383
00:30:33,364 --> 00:30:35,355
Not only here. In the shop, also.
384
00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:43,400
Here.
385
00:30:43,875 --> 00:30:46,673
Here.
When l"m here, in Wealdstone.
386
00:30:47,178 --> 00:30:49,339
When l"m staying here,
here about.
387
00:30:52,650 --> 00:30:54,584
Why is that, then?
388
00:30:58,156 --> 00:31:04,254
I suppose that at times I grow quite
disgusted by the razzle-dazzle...
389
00:31:04,462 --> 00:31:07,192
noise and glitz of the showbiz.
390
00:31:08,666 --> 00:31:15,003
And at times, I must concentrate on
what is truly important in my life...
391
00:31:15,206 --> 00:31:16,571
my work.
392
00:31:18,142 --> 00:31:20,508
And I must be undisturbed.
393
00:31:23,281 --> 00:31:25,340
This is my hideaway...
394
00:31:26,651 --> 00:31:31,111
my space for inner tranquility.
395
00:31:35,860 --> 00:31:37,555
Very nice.
396
00:31:41,199 --> 00:31:45,101
So, who are you?
If you"re not Alan Conway?
397
00:31:45,737 --> 00:31:48,604
L"m Stanley Kubrick,
the film director.
398
00:31:48,806 --> 00:31:51,536
- Stanley...
- Kubrick?
399
00:31:53,811 --> 00:31:55,506
How long have you been him then?
400
00:31:56,447 --> 00:32:00,281
L"ve always been him.
I am him.
401
00:32:00,752 --> 00:32:03,277
L"m also Shirley Bassey"s agent...
402
00:32:03,488 --> 00:32:05,547
which is why I was recently
in the States...
403
00:32:05,757 --> 00:32:08,225
and I was a child actor.
404
00:32:08,426 --> 00:32:11,759
I played Pip in David Lean"s
"Great Expectations".
405
00:32:12,997 --> 00:32:17,661
I was also a holiday rep.
A big one.
406
00:32:17,869 --> 00:32:20,997
All that, and he knows
how to promote a rock group?
407
00:32:21,205 --> 00:32:22,297
Such talent!
408
00:32:23,975 --> 00:32:25,499
Tomorrow morning...
409
00:32:25,877 --> 00:32:30,075
I have a meeting
with Miss Elizabeth Taylor.
410
00:32:30,281 --> 00:32:34,479
We are endeavoring to raise some
funds for the Betty Ford Clinic.
411
00:32:35,486 --> 00:32:38,182
But I feel that
our meeting is so early...
412
00:32:39,023 --> 00:32:42,481
that my bank will be closed.
I was wondering if either of you...
413
00:32:42,694 --> 00:32:45,686
could possibly cash a personal
check for me this evening?
414
00:32:47,799 --> 00:32:49,130
Sure.
415
00:32:50,935 --> 00:32:51,924
Thank you.
416
00:32:52,337 --> 00:32:54,669
What you"re saying is
that this overdraft...
417
00:32:55,006 --> 00:32:58,806
that prevents Jasper from
opening further wine bars?
418
00:32:59,010 --> 00:33:00,102
Correct.
419
00:33:00,311 --> 00:33:03,712
And this overdraft
stands at �350,000?
420
00:33:05,149 --> 00:33:08,778
�354,500, to be precise.
421
00:33:09,087 --> 00:33:13,319
And you"re looking for me
to act as guarantor for that sum?
422
00:33:13,524 --> 00:33:15,048
Yes, yes.
423
00:33:15,593 --> 00:33:17,584
That"s an acceptable option
for the bank.
424
00:33:17,795 --> 00:33:20,821
- You"ll be made director, of course.
- Sounds pretty simple to me.
425
00:33:21,366 --> 00:33:24,164
Stanley, all my problems
are solved if you do that.
426
00:33:25,636 --> 00:33:27,661
There is no prob...
You know?
427
00:33:27,872 --> 00:33:30,136
Oliver, if you can get
the paperwork together...
428
00:33:30,341 --> 00:33:32,434
l"ll run it by
my New York attorneys...
429
00:33:32,710 --> 00:33:34,769
and we"ll be ready to tango.
430
00:33:36,381 --> 00:33:38,849
- L"ll do that tomorrow.
- This time next year...
431
00:33:39,283 --> 00:33:43,242
we"re gonna be opening
wine bars in Paris, France!
432
00:33:43,521 --> 00:33:44,613
Yes!
433
00:33:45,890 --> 00:33:47,721
There"s a problem with this pen.
434
00:33:47,925 --> 00:33:49,586
Oh, dear, what seems
to be the problem?
435
00:33:50,461 --> 00:33:52,361
Well, the knib.
436
00:33:53,364 --> 00:33:57,198
- We can change it for you, sir.
- Well, it"s not just the knib.
437
00:33:57,668 --> 00:34:01,764
It"s the pen itself.
It"s so big and bulky.
438
00:34:02,340 --> 00:34:03,898
Makes my hand tired.
439
00:34:04,375 --> 00:34:07,242
- L"d like a refund.
- Certainly. You have the receipt?
440
00:34:08,980 --> 00:34:10,311
Here it is.
441
00:34:13,051 --> 00:34:14,382
Thank you.
442
00:34:18,556 --> 00:34:21,525
Right. We can recredit your
VISA card. L"ll do it for you now.
443
00:34:21,726 --> 00:34:23,057
My VISA card?
444
00:34:23,261 --> 00:34:26,025
You paid for it by VISA,
and we"ll simply recredit your card.
445
00:34:26,297 --> 00:34:28,026
No, but I want cash.
446
00:34:29,167 --> 00:34:31,192
L"m afraid
we don"t do that here, sir.
447
00:34:34,639 --> 00:34:38,769
When I spoke with my attorney
Milt Greenberg in New York...
448
00:34:39,343 --> 00:34:43,040
he says he was very happy
with those papers.
449
00:34:43,281 --> 00:34:45,841
There was no reason
whatsoever not to sign them.
450
00:34:46,150 --> 00:34:50,280
You"ll be guarantor until such time
as Jasper has discharged the amount.
451
00:34:50,555 --> 00:34:54,286
Which I estimate will be
three to four years, at max.
452
00:34:54,826 --> 00:34:57,659
The banks are perfectly happy.
They checked you out, Stanley...
453
00:34:57,862 --> 00:35:02,299
- and you came up A-1 okay.
- I bet I did.
454
00:35:02,500 --> 00:35:05,435
I told the manager you"re not to pay
for anything whenever you come in.
455
00:35:05,636 --> 00:35:08,434
Drinks, the food... Everything
is on the house from now on.
456
00:35:20,151 --> 00:35:22,551
What is it, Stanley?
What"s the title?
457
00:35:22,854 --> 00:35:27,587
Lt"s "3001 - A Space Odissey".
458
00:35:28,192 --> 00:35:30,422
Wow! And who have you got?
459
00:35:31,629 --> 00:35:33,722
John Malkovich in the lead.
460
00:35:34,632 --> 00:35:35,758
John who?
461
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:40,460
He will redefine astronaut.
Redefine it.
462
00:35:40,972 --> 00:35:42,963
But of course Warner Bros. Says...
463
00:35:43,174 --> 00:35:47,372
"But he"s not big enough
to carry this picture".
464
00:35:47,745 --> 00:35:51,977
And I said, "Oh, really?"
So, now l"ve solved that.
465
00:35:52,216 --> 00:35:54,844
- How? How have you solved it?
- It"s simple.
466
00:35:55,820 --> 00:36:01,156
Miss Elizabeth Taylor
as mission control.
467
00:36:05,096 --> 00:36:06,961
What was it Gore Vidal said?
468
00:36:07,165 --> 00:36:09,030
Vidal?
Oh, the thing about...
469
00:36:09,267 --> 00:36:11,827
"The only people who enjoy
themselves in the theater...
470
00:36:12,036 --> 00:36:13,936
are those who are
already on the stage"?
471
00:36:15,006 --> 00:36:17,941
- That was certainly true tonight.
- Well, was it ever?
472
00:36:18,509 --> 00:36:22,445
You noticed that gentleman behind us
was asleep before the end of Act I?
473
00:36:23,314 --> 00:36:27,910
He"d wake up through the dialogues,
and as soon as the music was...
474
00:36:34,392 --> 00:36:37,759
Excuse me. Could you tell me
who these people are next to us?
475
00:36:37,995 --> 00:36:40,122
Yes, yes, A journalist
from the "New York Times".
476
00:36:40,331 --> 00:36:42,629
It"s Frank Rich,
famous drama critic...
477
00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:45,059
and it is Mrs. Frank Rich.
478
00:36:45,636 --> 00:36:47,160
- Thank you.
- You"re welcome.
479
00:36:55,079 --> 00:36:58,879
I do not like what your newspaper
wrote about me. Not at all.
480
00:36:59,383 --> 00:37:00,577
I beg your pardon?
481
00:37:00,785 --> 00:37:05,381
I said I did not like what
your newspaper wrote about me...
482
00:37:06,057 --> 00:37:08,525
and I am not a recluse.
483
00:37:08,726 --> 00:37:13,129
A recluse wouldn"t be coming into
a restaurant like this, now would he?
484
00:37:13,831 --> 00:37:15,526
And who are you?
485
00:37:16,033 --> 00:37:18,024
I am Stanley Kubrick.
486
00:37:18,869 --> 00:37:21,303
And I nearly sued
your newspaper once.
487
00:37:22,440 --> 00:37:25,034
And l"ve shaved off my beard off.
488
00:37:28,312 --> 00:37:31,406
Well, please, sit down, join us.
This is my wife, Alix.
489
00:37:32,183 --> 00:37:33,343
- Hello.
- How do you do?
490
00:37:33,551 --> 00:37:35,018
- Please, sit down.
- I can"t.
491
00:37:35,219 --> 00:37:37,346
I have my people waiting.
492
00:37:38,456 --> 00:37:40,185
- You"re Frank Rich, aren"t you?
- Yes.
493
00:37:40,391 --> 00:37:41,688
- Drama critic?
- Yes.
494
00:37:41,892 --> 00:37:43,450
- L"m Butch.
- Of course you are.
495
00:37:44,161 --> 00:37:48,097
L"ve a good play l"d like you
to read. I want to be a playwright.
496
00:37:48,299 --> 00:37:50,426
Really? You know,
l"ve never heard that before.
497
00:37:50,635 --> 00:37:52,865
So, you"ve been to
Sunset Boulevard?
498
00:37:53,337 --> 00:37:54,395
Yes.
499
00:37:56,173 --> 00:37:59,074
Yes, we have.
Patti Lupone is a friend.
500
00:37:59,310 --> 00:38:02,438
She"s the best of it.
The rest of the cast is shit.
501
00:38:02,780 --> 00:38:05,772
Frankly, they laid an egg.
8 months, it closes.
502
00:38:06,250 --> 00:38:08,013
I was invited to preview.
503
00:38:09,420 --> 00:38:11,183
Are you working on another movie?
504
00:38:11,856 --> 00:38:14,484
Yes. L"m in pre-production.
505
00:38:15,393 --> 00:38:16,917
How about an interview?
506
00:38:17,428 --> 00:38:19,988
No.
Do you know why?
507
00:38:20,731 --> 00:38:22,961
Because I never give interviews.
508
00:38:28,272 --> 00:38:32,265
This is a ring which
Christian Dior gave to Helmut...
509
00:38:33,210 --> 00:38:34,575
who gave it to me...
510
00:38:35,479 --> 00:38:37,447
and now, I give it to you.
511
00:38:39,016 --> 00:38:40,779
Thank you, that"s very nice.
512
00:38:41,352 --> 00:38:42,614
You"re lovely.
513
00:38:45,890 --> 00:38:47,289
Good night.
514
00:38:53,564 --> 00:38:55,122
Come on, Kubrick!
515
00:38:56,801 --> 00:38:59,395
So was that really Stanley Kubrick,
the director?
516
00:38:59,603 --> 00:39:02,936
Well, I assume it"s Stanley Kubrick,
but I wouldn"t swear on it.
517
00:39:10,681 --> 00:39:12,046
I know you.
518
00:39:13,217 --> 00:39:16,653
You appeared in one
of my films, haven"t you?
519
00:39:16,987 --> 00:39:20,423
Your face is so familiar.
L"m just trying to...
520
00:39:20,624 --> 00:39:22,057
place which one it was.
521
00:39:22,793 --> 00:39:26,957
Well, sit down and buy me
a drink while you decide.
522
00:39:28,566 --> 00:39:29,931
Buy you a drink?
523
00:39:34,338 --> 00:39:35,430
Well... What are you drinking?
524
00:39:35,706 --> 00:39:37,196
Jack Daniel"s.
525
00:39:37,975 --> 00:39:39,169
A large one.
526
00:39:40,444 --> 00:39:41,638
- Barman?
- Yes, sir?
527
00:39:41,912 --> 00:39:45,643
Another large Jack Daniel"s, please,
and another glass of mineral water.
528
00:39:48,652 --> 00:39:50,882
So, you"re a what...
529
00:39:51,889 --> 00:39:53,789
a real life
film producer now, are you?
530
00:39:57,261 --> 00:39:58,853
Would you like a cigarrete?
531
00:39:59,563 --> 00:40:02,623
No, thanks, I don"t smoke.
But, you know, you go ahead.
532
00:40:03,534 --> 00:40:04,865
Thank you.
533
00:40:05,736 --> 00:40:09,399
So, would I have heard of you?
Would I have seen one of your films?
534
00:40:09,740 --> 00:40:11,173
You may have.
535
00:40:11,675 --> 00:40:12,869
What"s your name?
536
00:40:22,586 --> 00:40:23,848
Stanley Kubrick?
537
00:40:26,757 --> 00:40:28,054
Fuck me!
538
00:40:29,059 --> 00:40:30,253
Stanley...
539
00:40:31,061 --> 00:40:35,259
you are one of my favorite
directors of all time.
540
00:40:35,900 --> 00:40:39,961
I have seen all of your films and I
have loved every single one of them.
541
00:40:40,838 --> 00:40:42,897
This is unbelievable.
An honor.
542
00:40:43,407 --> 00:40:44,772
I mean, l"ve seen...
543
00:40:45,543 --> 00:40:49,570
"Spartacus", which was brilliant.
"Lolita", fantastic.
544
00:40:49,814 --> 00:40:51,441
"Dr. Strangelove"...
545
00:40:52,416 --> 00:40:53,815
"Clockwork Orange"...
546
00:40:54,418 --> 00:40:55,817
"Barry Lyndon"...
547
00:40:56,153 --> 00:40:59,953
What was it? My favorite, this is my
favorite: "Judgement in Nuremberg".
548
00:41:05,162 --> 00:41:09,064
Odd you say that, because that was
quite a difficult film to make.
549
00:41:09,266 --> 00:41:14,135
L"ve had a lot of problems, but
it all worked out well in the end.
550
00:41:14,705 --> 00:41:17,936
Absolutely. Yes, it did.
That was amazing.
551
00:41:18,142 --> 00:41:20,201
That was just amazing.
552
00:41:20,945 --> 00:41:24,039
Do you know, what amazes me
the most about that is that...
553
00:41:24,448 --> 00:41:29,613
you know, that it was directed
by Stanley Kramer...
554
00:41:31,789 --> 00:41:33,552
not Stanly Kubrick.
555
00:41:36,427 --> 00:41:37,826
Oh, dear...
556
00:41:38,863 --> 00:41:41,559
You"ve got your Stanleys
in the twist, haven"t you?
557
00:41:41,866 --> 00:41:47,065
Listen, mate, let me give you
a little bit of advice.
558
00:41:47,838 --> 00:41:53,140
If you"re gonna come here pretending
you"re someone that you"re not...
559
00:41:53,344 --> 00:41:58,111
at least do us the courtesy of doing
a little bit of research, okay?
560
00:42:07,525 --> 00:42:08,822
I found one.
561
00:42:09,059 --> 00:42:11,857
Good, "cause there isn"t a single
photo in any one of these books.
562
00:42:14,331 --> 00:42:16,196
In this one, he"s got a beard.
563
00:42:16,567 --> 00:42:19,536
But he did say
he "shaved off his beard off".
564
00:42:19,970 --> 00:42:21,028
Right.
565
00:42:22,773 --> 00:42:25,799
- When was this taken?
- About 1971.
566
00:42:27,111 --> 00:42:29,978
Doesn"t look a thing
like that guy.
567
00:42:30,180 --> 00:42:31,169
Not a thing.
568
00:42:32,249 --> 00:42:36,185
I got a tip off
about this Kubrick impostor.
569
00:42:37,221 --> 00:42:39,746
The story was right up my street.
570
00:42:41,559 --> 00:42:43,618
Kubrick himselfhas got a problem here.
571
00:42:44,161 --> 00:42:46,789
In order to get an injuctionout against Conway...
572
00:42:46,997 --> 00:42:50,228
he has to prove that Conwayis impersonating him.
573
00:42:50,568 --> 00:42:53,560
But to do that, he"s got getsome people to stand up in court...
574
00:42:53,771 --> 00:42:55,329
and admit they were conned.
575
00:42:55,539 --> 00:42:58,406
Well, it"s bad enoughbeing conned by someone.
576
00:42:58,676 --> 00:43:02,168
You wouldn"t wanna tell the
whole world about it, would you?
577
00:43:03,013 --> 00:43:04,378
Well, I wouldn"t.
578
00:43:04,982 --> 00:43:06,506
Cooperation?
579
00:43:06,717 --> 00:43:09,686
What kind of cooperation
are we talking about here then?
580
00:43:09,887 --> 00:43:13,550
Statements from each of you to begin
with and we"ll call you as witnesses.
581
00:43:13,757 --> 00:43:16,726
Hold on. I don"t mind helping you
as much as I can, but...
582
00:43:16,927 --> 00:43:20,294
I can"t go to court. It will be in
the papers, and everyone will know.
583
00:43:20,497 --> 00:43:23,193
Yeah. I can"t afford that either.
No way.
584
00:43:23,567 --> 00:43:26,434
They"ll think Spencer and me
are a couple of puffs!
585
00:43:27,504 --> 00:43:29,495
No offense,
but you know what I mean.
586
00:43:29,707 --> 00:43:31,004
Actually, I have no idea
what you mean.
587
00:43:31,208 --> 00:43:33,574
L"ve got a cab office to run,
and a corner shop.
588
00:43:37,815 --> 00:43:39,407
Stanley had called me to say...
589
00:43:39,617 --> 00:43:41,676
his son had diedin a car accident.
590
00:43:41,885 --> 00:43:44,376
And he said that he wanted mewith him at this terrible moment.
591
00:43:45,222 --> 00:43:47,952
When I told him I could onlyafford to come a few days...
592
00:43:48,325 --> 00:43:50,793
he told me he"d need mewithin for the foreseeable future.
593
00:43:53,097 --> 00:43:56,066
And even beyond that, to the part ofthe future that we couldn"t foresee.
594
00:43:57,201 --> 00:43:58,225
Thanks.
595
00:44:00,204 --> 00:44:01,899
He then offeredto pay off the balance...
596
00:44:02,106 --> 00:44:03,664
of an apartmentI had in Marseille...
597
00:44:06,176 --> 00:44:08,337
which I had been rehabingwith two dear friends of mine.
598
00:44:10,314 --> 00:44:12,339
He told me to bringtheir bank details...
599
00:44:13,017 --> 00:44:15,349
and would have his attorneyhandle it immediately.
600
00:44:16,553 --> 00:44:20,045
He also said his driver, Manolo,would be at the airport...
601
00:44:20,257 --> 00:44:21,986
to whisk me offin his white Jaguar.
602
00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:24,788
He wasn"t.
603
00:44:25,295 --> 00:44:26,728
My client, as you know...
604
00:44:26,930 --> 00:44:30,093
has lost many thousands of pounds
as a result of this impostor and...
605
00:44:30,300 --> 00:44:33,997
his understanding with the banks in
question is in doubt. Nevertheless...
606
00:44:34,204 --> 00:44:37,332
for reasons which I think
you will readily appreciate...
607
00:44:38,042 --> 00:44:40,101
he cannot go further
and appear in an action...
608
00:44:40,310 --> 00:44:42,574
which will expose
him to public ridicule...
609
00:44:42,780 --> 00:44:44,907
for having been
taken in by this con man.
610
00:44:45,115 --> 00:44:47,913
Even if it means that it stops Conway
from doing the same thing to others?
611
00:44:48,852 --> 00:44:50,376
Not even.
612
00:44:51,321 --> 00:44:52,515
I see.
613
00:44:56,126 --> 00:44:57,320
Oh, Stanley...
614
00:45:01,298 --> 00:45:02,663
I admit it!
615
00:45:04,101 --> 00:45:05,693
I admit it!
616
00:45:05,936 --> 00:45:08,632
I knew you weren"t him.
I just knew it.
617
00:45:16,747 --> 00:45:20,274
L"m not Stanley Kubrick, I know.
L"m Alan Conway!
618
00:45:22,586 --> 00:45:26,249
Alan Conway,
one of life"s great failures!
619
00:45:28,058 --> 00:45:30,049
Please, you must forgive me!
620
00:45:31,528 --> 00:45:34,224
Well, what about having a son
who was killed in a car accident?
621
00:45:34,965 --> 00:45:37,195
I suppose that"s all lies
and bullshit too, isn"t it?
622
00:45:37,534 --> 00:45:41,994
Please, please, Piers, I would"ve
said anything to get you here.
623
00:45:42,206 --> 00:45:43,639
Please, you must forgive me.
624
00:45:43,841 --> 00:45:45,934
You fucked over
my friends in Marseille!
625
00:45:46,610 --> 00:45:48,339
I gave up my apartment there.
626
00:45:48,545 --> 00:45:50,479
I used my savings
to come over here.
627
00:45:51,115 --> 00:45:54,448
My bridges are all burned,
and you ask me to forgive you?
628
00:45:54,651 --> 00:45:57,313
Please, Piers, you must forgive me.
You have to.
629
00:45:57,554 --> 00:45:59,522
Forgive a disaster queen like you?
630
00:45:59,757 --> 00:46:01,384
No fucking chance!
631
00:46:02,793 --> 00:46:04,158
Piers!
632
00:46:07,397 --> 00:46:08,887
Piers!
633
00:46:09,833 --> 00:46:12,063
I certainly need you!
634
00:46:12,336 --> 00:46:15,567
Never had such
genuine feelings for anyone!
635
00:46:16,907 --> 00:46:20,673
L"ve never felt
something so big inside me!
636
00:46:22,179 --> 00:46:28,743
I mean, feelings for someone else
so big in me! Really, really!
637
00:46:28,952 --> 00:46:31,386
Lt"s just I have to try
to escape myself!
638
00:46:34,091 --> 00:46:37,219
Whenever I go to somewhere
nice like New York...
639
00:46:37,427 --> 00:46:41,921
or Benidorm or...
Or Camp du Mor...
640
00:46:43,767 --> 00:46:44,961
or Rio...
641
00:46:47,004 --> 00:46:50,132
who is the first person there
to greet me?
642
00:46:51,108 --> 00:46:53,235
Lt"s Alan Conway!
643
00:46:54,945 --> 00:46:57,812
L"m only trying to escape myself.
644
00:46:59,249 --> 00:47:02,844
That"s why I have to pretend
to be someone else.
645
00:47:03,520 --> 00:47:06,011
Please, don"t go, Piers.
Please.
646
00:47:08,158 --> 00:47:10,023
I thought we had something.
647
00:47:11,195 --> 00:47:12,321
I really did.
648
00:47:13,096 --> 00:47:16,862
- No! Piers, you mustn"t go, please!
- Don"t.
649
00:47:17,668 --> 00:47:20,660
- Get the...
- Piers, please!
650
00:47:26,009 --> 00:47:29,410
You see, I thought I could be
myself with you.
651
00:47:30,047 --> 00:47:31,309
Jesus!
652
00:47:31,515 --> 00:47:33,813
I thought you could help me!
653
00:47:34,651 --> 00:47:36,744
I thought I could help you.
654
00:47:43,694 --> 00:47:45,594
I thought we had a future.
655
00:49:05,642 --> 00:49:08,668
What happened to you happened
to a very dear friend of mine.
656
00:49:08,879 --> 00:49:12,406
He didn"t eat properly.
Just the booze and the drugs.
657
00:49:12,616 --> 00:49:15,141
And then, one day,
he just collapsed.
658
00:49:15,352 --> 00:49:17,377
See, your body can only take
so much abuse.
659
00:49:17,788 --> 00:49:21,690
Body? Abuse?
Sounds interesting.
660
00:49:23,627 --> 00:49:26,118
Well, we"re not gonna let
it happen again, are we?
661
00:49:26,330 --> 00:49:30,232
We"re going to eat regularly, we"re
going to reduce our alcohol intake.
662
00:49:31,034 --> 00:49:32,331
Let"s see.
663
00:49:35,772 --> 00:49:37,967
You"re used to having
stiff things in your mouth, huh?
664
00:49:38,175 --> 00:49:40,336
They don"t stay stiff for long.
665
00:49:43,113 --> 00:49:45,673
L"m being discharged
tomorrow, then?
666
00:49:46,116 --> 00:49:48,880
After sir has seen you,
and not before.
667
00:49:50,854 --> 00:49:56,190
You wouldn"t care to join me at my
hotel tomorrow night, would you?
668
00:49:57,127 --> 00:49:58,924
You"re so forward!
669
00:50:00,597 --> 00:50:02,360
I thought you"d never ask.
670
00:50:05,035 --> 00:50:10,234
No, you see, because Alan Conway
is merely my "nom de travel".
671
00:50:10,941 --> 00:50:15,207
Life is much easier sailing
under that "nom".
672
00:50:15,879 --> 00:50:19,542
Because then l"m not bothered
and hassled by people.
673
00:50:20,617 --> 00:50:24,485
Which is very important
for a man in my position.
674
00:50:25,355 --> 00:50:29,018
So what should I call you then?
Should I call you Alan or Stanley?
675
00:50:29,493 --> 00:50:33,987
You see, people who know me,
"simpatico" people...
676
00:50:34,831 --> 00:50:37,629
they always call me Stanley,
of course.
677
00:50:39,169 --> 00:50:41,535
Well, knock me over
with a sponge dildo!
678
00:50:42,239 --> 00:50:46,573
Lt"s amazing, I mean, it"s just...
Staggeringly amazing!
679
00:50:46,877 --> 00:50:51,974
At times, I have to get away from
the glitz and glamour of showbiz...
680
00:50:52,182 --> 00:50:54,946
away from the jet set,
the servants...
681
00:50:55,352 --> 00:50:58,685
the kiss-ass creeps.
682
00:50:59,322 --> 00:51:03,588
You see, I have to stay in touch
with the common man...
683
00:51:04,094 --> 00:51:07,154
the common folk,
the salt of the earth...
684
00:51:07,831 --> 00:51:11,460
the unwashed, the unloved,
the unwanted...
685
00:51:12,235 --> 00:51:15,136
the unknown, the unattractive.
686
00:51:15,338 --> 00:51:17,272
Sounds like a full-time job to me.
687
00:51:19,276 --> 00:51:23,440
But it"s not already time
for your party, is it?
688
00:51:23,747 --> 00:51:25,715
Yes, it is. Come on, then.
689
00:51:26,716 --> 00:51:28,741
I knew Lee Pratt before
he was famous...
690
00:51:29,286 --> 00:51:32,278
when he"d come down here to play all
the clubs. I met him on the scene.
691
00:51:32,489 --> 00:51:35,822
Very active, you know, although
none of his audience know that.
692
00:51:36,026 --> 00:51:37,994
They all think
he"s as straight as narrow.
693
00:51:38,261 --> 00:51:42,994
I saw his television show
once on... television.
694
00:51:43,567 --> 00:51:47,162
You know, I nearly
cast him in one of my films.
695
00:51:47,370 --> 00:51:49,895
Well, tell him that.
His head will get even bigger.
696
00:51:50,107 --> 00:51:52,041
He"s the biggest
praise queen I know.
697
00:51:53,110 --> 00:51:56,273
What do you think of the house then?
Isn"t it amazing?
698
00:51:57,681 --> 00:51:58,739
Hello!
699
00:51:58,949 --> 00:52:00,780
John, how are you?
Nice to see you.
700
00:52:02,385 --> 00:52:04,148
My friend Stanley Kubrick.
701
00:52:05,122 --> 00:52:06,987
Would you like some bubbly and?
702
00:52:07,357 --> 00:52:10,952
- Oh, yeah. Thanks.
- Would you like to go on now?
703
00:52:12,863 --> 00:52:15,093
L"d like you to meet
my friend Stanley Kubrick.
704
00:52:15,432 --> 00:52:17,764
Nice to meet you.
705
00:52:26,776 --> 00:52:27,834
Oh, look.
706
00:53:29,839 --> 00:53:31,431
Stan, the man!
707
00:53:32,442 --> 00:53:35,411
The United States of America
have defeated me.
708
00:53:35,612 --> 00:53:37,876
Totally defeated me.
Isn"t that right, Norman?
709
00:53:38,081 --> 00:53:40,675
That"s right, Lee.
Defeated you.
710
00:53:40,884 --> 00:53:43,819
I mean, lots of British entertainers
who have gone out there...
711
00:53:44,020 --> 00:53:45,510
and they were great,
talented people.
712
00:53:45,722 --> 00:53:47,485
Great entertainers, you know?
Big stars.
713
00:53:47,691 --> 00:53:50,057
Much loved, you know, like me.
714
00:53:50,460 --> 00:53:53,896
But, you know, they were as
welcome as a radioactive dog turd!
715
00:53:54,464 --> 00:53:57,831
There"s nothing radioactive
about our Lee!
716
00:53:58,235 --> 00:54:02,399
Lee, you see, over here,
in this country...
717
00:54:02,606 --> 00:54:07,634
you have a greater appeal with the
lower working middle classes.
718
00:54:07,844 --> 00:54:10,813
And the mistake you made
is assuming...
719
00:54:11,147 --> 00:54:14,878
that the same groups
were gonna like you over there.
720
00:54:15,785 --> 00:54:20,313
You see, you pitched
yourself too low, Lee.
721
00:54:20,890 --> 00:54:23,882
You"re a Vegas performer.
Vegas!
722
00:54:24,694 --> 00:54:29,290
Vegas is where you belong.
Do you hear what l"m saying?
723
00:54:30,767 --> 00:54:31,859
Vegas!
724
00:54:32,102 --> 00:54:35,196
- Las Vegas?
- Right, Las Vegas.
725
00:54:35,405 --> 00:54:37,965
But it all has to be managed right!
726
00:54:38,208 --> 00:54:41,234
It all has to be
carefully coordinated.
727
00:54:41,478 --> 00:54:46,177
We have to contour you with
the shape of the American media.
728
00:54:47,417 --> 00:54:48,384
You see?
729
00:54:49,052 --> 00:54:54,285
Look, Moe Greenbaum,
at the Sands Hotel...
730
00:54:54,524 --> 00:54:56,788
is an old school chum of mine.
731
00:54:57,027 --> 00:55:00,485
We go way back!
He knows how to handle this!
732
00:55:00,897 --> 00:55:02,865
You know people like that?!
733
00:55:03,066 --> 00:55:06,661
Lt"s not what you know,
but who you know, right?
734
00:55:07,704 --> 00:55:11,606
- You could be bigger than Elvis.
- Bigger than Jesus, lad.
735
00:55:11,808 --> 00:55:15,141
Can you imagine how big Jesus would
be if only he could play the guitar?
736
00:55:20,016 --> 00:55:22,211
- Vegas.
- Vegas...
737
00:55:22,419 --> 00:55:27,322
Let me teach you a little something.
Repeat after me. "Maitre d"".
738
00:55:27,524 --> 00:55:28,582
"Maitre d"".
739
00:55:28,792 --> 00:55:31,022
- Lock the door.
- Lock the door.
740
00:55:31,227 --> 00:55:33,252
No one"s going home tonight.
741
00:55:33,463 --> 00:55:36,023
No one"s going home tonight.
742
00:55:36,866 --> 00:55:39,460
- Vegas.
- Now what the fuck is a "Maitre d""?
743
00:56:00,757 --> 00:56:06,218
L"m going to have to edit this very
carefully for an American audience.
744
00:56:06,563 --> 00:56:09,361
That"s my twelve
basic English routines...
745
00:56:09,566 --> 00:56:13,798
and this is my loose material, what
I call "My Pick and Mix" file.
746
00:56:14,003 --> 00:56:17,495
- Very expensive, dear.
- Very expensive.
747
00:56:18,241 --> 00:56:21,540
Well, l"m sure it"s not
all money gone to waste.
748
00:56:21,911 --> 00:56:26,041
L"m going to have my man
in New York, Shecky Green...
749
00:56:26,249 --> 00:56:28,444
send me the work scripts...
750
00:56:28,651 --> 00:56:31,882
of all the top comics
and singers in America.
751
00:56:32,455 --> 00:56:34,047
Grand. Just grand.
752
00:56:34,491 --> 00:56:37,892
The other night, when we met,
gentlemen, I said to myself...
753
00:56:38,094 --> 00:56:42,030
"Stanley, either you can
press ahead with the remake...
754
00:56:42,232 --> 00:56:45,395
of Otto Preminger"s
"Samson and Delilah"...
755
00:56:45,735 --> 00:56:49,899
or you can lend a helping hand
a British comedian...
756
00:56:50,106 --> 00:56:52,040
who needs a States side break.
757
00:56:52,242 --> 00:56:56,372
If you can"t lend a hand to a close
friend, then who can you lend it to?
758
00:56:57,647 --> 00:57:00,172
I seem to have run out of vodka.
759
00:57:08,525 --> 00:57:10,254
Here"s to Las Vegas.
760
00:57:10,693 --> 00:57:14,720
And here"s to Lee Pratt,
the British singer, comedian...
761
00:57:14,931 --> 00:57:17,525
who"s gonna set the States on fire!
762
00:57:17,734 --> 00:57:21,431
Here"s to my friend, the famous
film director and fixer...
763
00:57:21,871 --> 00:57:25,534
- Stanley Kubrick.
- L"ll drink to that.
764
00:57:27,710 --> 00:57:29,143
Vegas.
765
00:58:41,217 --> 00:58:42,309
Ah, here we are.
766
00:58:42,519 --> 00:58:44,612
Compliments of the hotel,
naturally.
767
00:58:47,657 --> 00:58:52,060
If you have a short of inspiration,
look out across that bay.
768
00:58:53,796 --> 00:58:56,526
I nearly once made a film here.
769
00:58:57,166 --> 00:58:58,599
Oh, did you hear that, Cyril?
770
00:58:58,801 --> 00:59:00,632
Stanley could"ve put you
on the international map.
771
00:59:00,837 --> 00:59:02,930
Well, I hope Mr. Kubrick
will reconsider that film.
772
00:59:03,473 --> 00:59:06,806
If it does, it will have
to star our Lee.
773
00:59:07,277 --> 00:59:11,407
Yes. I left my heart in Devon, eh?
I left my heart in Devon.
774
00:59:12,482 --> 00:59:13,813
Very good, Mr. Pratt.
775
00:59:14,984 --> 00:59:16,679
Thank you, Cyril.
Now, Cyril...
776
00:59:16,886 --> 00:59:18,877
Mr. Kubrick is my special guest.
777
00:59:19,088 --> 00:59:20,953
I want you to look after him
the way you look after me.
778
00:59:21,157 --> 00:59:22,351
Certainly, Mr. Pratt.
779
00:59:22,559 --> 00:59:24,993
Everything Mr. Kubrick wants
Mr. Kubrick should have.
780
00:59:25,194 --> 00:59:26,525
Of course, Mr. Pratt.
781
00:59:26,729 --> 00:59:29,926
I once had controlling interest
in a hotel...
782
00:59:30,133 --> 00:59:32,124
on Fifth Avenue, in New York.
783
00:59:32,769 --> 00:59:35,329
But it wasn"t
as nearly well run as here.
784
00:59:36,406 --> 00:59:39,341
Thank you, Mr. Kubrick.
Thank you.
785
00:59:39,609 --> 00:59:41,702
Well, lovies,
l"ve got a show to produce.
786
00:59:41,911 --> 00:59:44,072
Stanley, if you need me, l"ll be
just down the end of the corridor.
787
00:59:44,314 --> 00:59:49,047
I have to run and call Shecky
and start on these work scripts.
788
00:59:50,153 --> 00:59:51,643
Las Vegas!
789
00:59:52,622 --> 00:59:53,816
Here we come.
790
01:01:19,208 --> 01:01:22,075
I tell you, I don"t know
what happened last night.
791
01:01:22,278 --> 01:01:24,906
It must have been
the sea food in lunch time.
792
01:01:25,348 --> 01:01:26,906
But you"re alright now?
793
01:01:27,183 --> 01:01:29,048
Oh, perfect. Never felt better.
794
01:01:29,252 --> 01:01:31,948
- Ready to go!
- Oh, great, Stanley, great.
795
01:01:32,555 --> 01:01:36,889
Gentlemen, listen. Last night,
I spoke with Shecky in New York.
796
01:01:37,093 --> 01:01:41,530
I said, "Shecky, you gotta be ready
to get on the 1st plane to Vegas".
797
01:01:41,764 --> 01:01:45,063
Also, he"s meeting Moe there.
I fully briefed the both of them.
798
01:01:45,268 --> 01:01:48,795
I told them, "Gentlemen, I want
an absolutely up-to-date report...
799
01:01:49,005 --> 01:01:52,736
on everything that"s happening
in every hotel and theater.
800
01:01:53,009 --> 01:01:54,636
Vegas! I can"t believe it!
801
01:01:55,611 --> 01:02:00,913
What... schedule
are you thinking about then?
802
01:02:01,150 --> 01:02:04,551
I get your point, Norman.
Here"s my thinking at the present.
803
01:02:04,754 --> 01:02:07,780
A, we need a lot of
lead time for publicity.
804
01:02:08,124 --> 01:02:12,356
B, selected personal
appearances before opening.
805
01:02:12,695 --> 01:02:14,663
What have we got
in the book there, Norm?
806
01:02:15,098 --> 01:02:17,362
Slack season, you"re resting...
807
01:02:17,900 --> 01:02:20,198
apart from opening a hospice
in Wolverhampton...
808
01:02:20,536 --> 01:02:22,731
a charity night in Preston and...
809
01:02:22,939 --> 01:02:24,531
taking your mom on holiday.
810
01:02:26,576 --> 01:02:27,873
Well...
811
01:02:28,111 --> 01:02:30,739
fuck the hospice,
fuck the charity...
812
01:02:30,947 --> 01:02:33,040
and mom"s always wanted
to do Vegas.
813
01:02:34,550 --> 01:02:37,451
Now, gentleman,
I may have to fly out ahead...
814
01:02:37,653 --> 01:02:40,053
and make sure everything
goes smoothly.
815
01:02:40,256 --> 01:02:44,352
But, Norman, I wanna tell you, l"m
making my executive jet available.
816
01:02:44,594 --> 01:02:45,891
Handsome.
817
01:02:46,562 --> 01:02:47,790
Just handsome.
818
01:02:51,434 --> 01:02:55,803
No calls for New York or Vegas
from Mr. Kubrick"s suite?
819
01:02:57,273 --> 01:03:02,472
No. But most of our guests prefer
the use of their personal mobiles.
820
01:03:07,216 --> 01:03:09,844
Right.
Right. Interesting.
821
01:03:17,927 --> 01:03:19,053
Come in.
822
01:03:25,168 --> 01:03:28,137
Shall I leave it here as it is, sir,
or shall I prepare the table?
823
01:03:29,539 --> 01:03:33,202
Oh... Just leave it there, "gar�on",
and l"ll help myself.
824
01:03:33,543 --> 01:03:36,979
That is a double helping
of coq-au-vin, isn"t it?
825
01:03:37,180 --> 01:03:38,545
Yes, it is, sir.
826
01:03:39,348 --> 01:03:41,509
And my bottle of vodka?
827
01:03:44,353 --> 01:03:45,650
Yes, sir.
828
01:03:46,522 --> 01:03:50,754
Lovely. And the cigarettes.
I can"t see the cigarettes.
829
01:03:50,960 --> 01:03:52,052
The cigarretes?
830
01:03:52,261 --> 01:03:56,857
Yes, I ordered a carton of 200
cigarettes. Where might that be?
831
01:03:57,099 --> 01:03:58,999
L"ll fetch them right away, sir.
832
01:03:59,402 --> 01:04:00,562
Young man...
833
01:04:02,371 --> 01:04:06,273
once upon a time, I was directing
a movie called "Spartacus".
834
01:04:06,776 --> 01:04:12,305
And there was a very young "Miss"
Kirk Douglas playing the title role.
835
01:04:13,082 --> 01:04:14,310
And one day...
836
01:04:14,750 --> 01:04:19,710
the waiter forgot to bring "Miss"
Kirk Douglas "her" cigarettes.
837
01:04:19,989 --> 01:04:24,892
And "Miss" Douglas, being
the shit that "she" is, fired him!
838
01:04:27,029 --> 01:04:30,294
That waiter never worked
in Hollywood again.
839
01:04:31,634 --> 01:04:33,602
How very tragic, sir.
840
01:04:39,809 --> 01:04:41,299
His number one fan!
841
01:04:43,212 --> 01:04:47,171
- Another scooter of sherry, Lee.
- Leave that to me, Mrs. V.
842
01:04:47,817 --> 01:04:52,117
Gargoyle? Can I have another
junery thing of Cyprus for Mrs. V?
843
01:04:52,655 --> 01:04:56,421
2 large scooters of Cyprus and we
haven"t even ordered starters yet.
844
01:04:56,826 --> 01:04:59,351
Tell you what,
you"re the best cheer leader...
845
01:04:59,562 --> 01:05:02,156
anyone could ever wish. And you"re
worth your weight in gold lame.
846
01:05:02,365 --> 01:05:03,662
Gold lame.
847
01:05:03,966 --> 01:05:07,959
She"s like a mother to me. A mother.
Someone you can always rely on.
848
01:05:09,438 --> 01:05:10,871
Tell me, Mr. "Kuteprick"...
849
01:05:12,208 --> 01:05:13,505
Kubrick.
850
01:05:14,110 --> 01:05:18,342
Lee tells me you"re going to make him
very famous in the United States.
851
01:05:19,048 --> 01:05:21,949
- That"s the plan.
- Lee says you make pictures...
852
01:05:22,318 --> 01:05:24,286
- films.
- Yes, I do.
853
01:05:24,620 --> 01:05:28,147
Have you ever made any films
with anyone famous?
854
01:05:28,357 --> 01:05:31,121
You know, film stars,
Mr. "Kuteprick"?
855
01:05:32,328 --> 01:05:35,820
Kirk Douglas, James Mason...
856
01:05:37,166 --> 01:05:38,292
Greta Garbo...
857
01:05:40,636 --> 01:05:41,933
Ava Gardner...
858
01:05:43,339 --> 01:05:46,103
and that Funicello.
859
01:05:48,110 --> 01:05:50,510
So you never made
any carry-on films then?
860
01:05:53,516 --> 01:05:54,574
No.
861
01:05:55,284 --> 01:05:58,651
Well, then, dear, you"ve got
something to look forward to.
862
01:06:06,195 --> 01:06:10,894
Well, that"s my done. L"m up the
wooden hill to "Bed-for-sure".
863
01:06:13,970 --> 01:06:16,734
Oh, God. And you, Mrs. Vitali?
864
01:06:17,239 --> 01:06:21,767
That was a lovely meal.
We must come here again.
865
01:06:22,211 --> 01:06:24,008
Oh, that we will.
Come on.
866
01:06:29,885 --> 01:06:32,786
Oh, she"s a riot, isn"t she?
Fucking hell!
867
01:06:41,163 --> 01:06:42,630
Where are you going then?
868
01:06:43,532 --> 01:06:44,726
Just going.
869
01:06:44,967 --> 01:06:51,167
I thought, seeing all the hospitality
you"ve enjoyed courtesy or Lee...
870
01:06:51,374 --> 01:06:54,241
that when his
number one fan came down...
871
01:06:54,677 --> 01:06:58,169
you might show him gratitude
by paying the bill yourself.
872
01:07:00,082 --> 01:07:04,143
It seems to me the least you could
do in the circumstances, old son.
873
01:07:11,761 --> 01:07:13,319
Thank you very much.
874
01:07:15,498 --> 01:07:17,557
Thank you very much.
875
01:07:20,069 --> 01:07:24,403
Norman, that is...
That is a wonderful idea.
876
01:07:41,757 --> 01:07:43,122
Oh, Mr. Prett.
877
01:07:47,563 --> 01:07:49,463
L"m sorry to call you down so late.
878
01:07:49,765 --> 01:07:51,926
It"s all right, Cyril.
We weren"t asleep, were we?
879
01:07:52,368 --> 01:07:57,362
No. All is well with the world, the
concerts are sold out completely.
880
01:07:57,573 --> 01:07:58,972
Viva Las Vegas.
881
01:07:59,442 --> 01:08:00,739
It"s about...
882
01:08:02,011 --> 01:08:04,138
Mr. Kubrick.
883
01:08:04,513 --> 01:08:05,946
Stan, the man.
884
01:08:07,283 --> 01:08:09,547
This afternoon, after
Mr. Kubrick left his room...
885
01:08:09,752 --> 01:08:12,482
to visit the Starlight
Spa & Sauna in our basement...
886
01:08:13,055 --> 01:08:16,855
Maria Teresa, a most
trustworthy Filipino cleaner...
887
01:08:18,828 --> 01:08:21,353
and I cannot tell you
how hard they are to get...
888
01:08:21,664 --> 01:08:23,655
went to his room
to do the cleaning...
889
01:08:24,200 --> 01:08:28,034
and discovered a number
of magazines in the courtesy bar.
890
01:08:28,304 --> 01:08:31,569
Well, let"s hope it was
"Celebrity Monthly", featuring me.
891
01:08:32,575 --> 01:08:35,009
These magazines
featured young men...
892
01:08:36,679 --> 01:08:41,173
naked young men,
performing explicit acts...
893
01:08:41,717 --> 01:08:45,312
upon each other and in groups.
894
01:08:46,589 --> 01:08:51,720
The sort of acts, I believe, that
were popular in Sodom and Gomorra.
895
01:08:51,994 --> 01:08:56,158
Riding and hove, you mean?
They were having a gay ole time.
896
01:08:56,532 --> 01:09:00,127
Maria Teresa, a most innocent
devout Catholic, went into shock...
897
01:09:00,536 --> 01:09:03,061
and is receiving counseling
as we speak.
898
01:09:03,272 --> 01:09:06,730
I was called, and I discovered
amongst these magazines...
899
01:09:06,942 --> 01:09:10,173
personal items,
including a passport.
900
01:09:10,379 --> 01:09:13,815
A passport not in the name
of Stanley Kubrick...
901
01:09:14,083 --> 01:09:17,610
but in the name
of Alan Conway, a gentleman.
902
01:09:17,820 --> 01:09:20,880
So, Mr. Bates, our director
of security, discovered...
903
01:09:21,090 --> 01:09:26,027
much to the shog of everyone
at the South Coast Hotels limited...
904
01:09:26,896 --> 01:09:29,456
to be a proven confidence man.
905
01:09:38,541 --> 01:09:42,102
- There must be some mistake.
- None whatsoever, l"m afraid.
906
01:09:50,920 --> 01:09:54,378
Oh, goodness, no...
Fucking.
907
01:09:57,459 --> 01:10:00,724
Would you like to see
one of these magazines?
908
01:10:10,206 --> 01:10:11,468
Who is it?
909
01:10:11,674 --> 01:10:12,834
Lt"s me.
910
01:10:23,052 --> 01:10:24,280
Come in.
911
01:10:30,159 --> 01:10:32,855
How"s it going, "Stanley"?
912
01:10:36,098 --> 01:10:40,501
Well, really I was speaking
to the "David Letterman Show".
913
01:10:41,070 --> 01:10:45,370
And they were saying that they...
914
01:10:45,574 --> 01:10:47,974
can"t wait for you to come on.
915
01:10:48,177 --> 01:10:49,508
They can"t wait.
916
01:10:50,112 --> 01:10:53,775
I think you and I
need a bit of a chat.
917
01:10:56,151 --> 01:10:57,675
Let go of me!
918
01:11:05,527 --> 01:11:07,461
I can"t swim!
919
01:11:51,607 --> 01:11:53,234
What"s that smell?
920
01:11:54,076 --> 01:11:56,442
Have you had one
of your floozies over?
921
01:11:56,645 --> 01:11:59,876
Yeah. Sorry about that.
I had Sharon round.
922
01:12:00,082 --> 01:12:01,947
We got a bit carried away.
923
01:12:02,151 --> 01:12:06,110
I don"t want to find any stains,
any deposits.
924
01:12:06,322 --> 01:12:07,482
You won"t.
925
01:12:07,690 --> 01:12:10,420
We did it inside bin bags
on polythene, all right?
926
01:12:12,227 --> 01:12:15,390
- Oh, yeah, some journalist phoned.
- Right.
927
01:12:15,631 --> 01:12:19,192
He knows all about you and your
tricks. So you"d better watch out.
928
01:12:19,401 --> 01:12:21,164
He"s doing some big story on you.
929
01:12:21,837 --> 01:12:24,305
- Journalist?
- Yeah, he"s gonna call back.
930
01:12:24,740 --> 01:12:27,800
He"s got your number, mate.
Knows all about you.
931
01:12:28,811 --> 01:12:30,108
You"re Alan Conway...
932
01:12:30,312 --> 01:12:32,712
the guy who goes around
impersonating Stanley Kubrick.
933
01:12:33,082 --> 01:12:34,344
L"m sorry, l"m not.
934
01:12:34,550 --> 01:12:39,180
Mr. Conway, I have got
independent corroboration.
935
01:12:40,756 --> 01:12:42,189
Well, I believe you.
936
01:12:42,891 --> 01:12:44,620
I like your voice.
937
01:12:44,827 --> 01:12:46,260
Thank you.
938
01:12:46,462 --> 01:12:50,159
Well, Frank Rich has written it up.
939
01:12:50,366 --> 01:12:53,392
- You lie!
- No, l"m not lying to you.
940
01:12:53,602 --> 01:12:56,093
L"ve got it here in front of me.
It"s in "The New York Times".
941
01:12:56,305 --> 01:12:57,397
About me?
942
01:13:25,634 --> 01:13:26,692
Hello?
943
01:13:27,736 --> 01:13:28,964
Hello?
944
01:13:29,671 --> 01:13:31,070
Mr. Kubrick?
945
01:13:32,141 --> 01:13:33,506
Hello?
946
01:13:43,552 --> 01:13:45,884
Ah, you"re my audience.
947
01:13:46,488 --> 01:13:48,854
You"ve come to see my latest film.
948
01:13:49,057 --> 01:13:50,854
Have they given you
an appointment yet?
949
01:13:51,693 --> 01:13:55,493
L"m Stanley Kubrick.
I give the appointments around here.
950
01:13:55,697 --> 01:13:58,530
Please, take a seat, Mr. Kubrick.
Do not disturb the other patients.
951
01:13:58,734 --> 01:14:02,261
They"re not patients!
They"re my audience!
952
01:14:02,638 --> 01:14:05,300
Aren"t you?
Aren"t you all?
953
01:14:05,674 --> 01:14:07,938
Please, tell her!
Tell her!
954
01:14:08,143 --> 01:14:11,670
- Lf you"d like to take a seat here.
- Why don"t you tell her?
955
01:14:14,483 --> 01:14:15,711
Alan?
956
01:14:16,752 --> 01:14:18,549
Alan, it"s me, Sean.
957
01:14:21,557 --> 01:14:23,752
Is camera ready now?
958
01:14:24,626 --> 01:14:28,926
Has "Miss" Kirk Douglas
left "her" dressing room yet?
959
01:14:29,965 --> 01:14:34,129
Alan, this is Dr. Stukeley.
She"s gonna help you.
960
01:14:35,404 --> 01:14:37,634
Please, please...
961
01:14:37,873 --> 01:14:39,704
take me home now!
962
01:14:42,044 --> 01:14:47,209
Please, I missed.
L"ve been a very, very naughty boy.
963
01:14:48,183 --> 01:14:50,276
This man"s condition"s very serious.
964
01:14:51,053 --> 01:14:54,250
We need to institutionalize,
I mean, hospitalize him right away.
965
01:14:54,456 --> 01:14:56,048
He requires immediate sedation.
966
01:14:56,325 --> 01:14:59,453
Well, can"t you just slip him a few
Valium and get him to a day clinic?
967
01:14:59,661 --> 01:15:02,357
If only it was easy as that.
It"s quite beyond that.
968
01:15:03,699 --> 01:15:05,326
Quite beyond that.
969
01:15:08,570 --> 01:15:10,333
There you are.
970
01:15:15,143 --> 01:15:17,270
Shepard"s pie or
change in the hole, love?
971
01:15:17,746 --> 01:15:22,513
Why, thank you, my good woman.
By the way, do you know who I am?
972
01:15:22,718 --> 01:15:25,312
No, but if you ask the ward
supervisor, she will tell you.
973
01:15:27,155 --> 01:15:28,918
L"m Stanley Kubrick.
974
01:15:29,324 --> 01:15:30,757
L"m Stanley Kubrick.
975
01:15:31,426 --> 01:15:32,950
L"m Stanley Kubrick.
976
01:15:33,629 --> 01:15:34,994
L"m Stanley Kubrick.
977
01:15:35,964 --> 01:15:37,363
How dare you?
978
01:15:38,033 --> 01:15:41,400
L"m Stanley Kubrick.
L"m Stanley Kubrick.
979
01:15:43,038 --> 01:15:47,566
Will all the Stanleys Kubrick
please be quiet and eat their lunch?
980
01:15:51,680 --> 01:15:53,978
- Did you bring it?
- Did I bring what?
981
01:15:54,383 --> 01:15:55,873
The bottle, stupid.
982
01:15:59,621 --> 01:16:01,213
You owe me, squire.
983
01:16:13,602 --> 01:16:15,467
Never tasted better.
984
01:16:16,338 --> 01:16:19,068
You know, you got me worried
that day they brought you in here.
985
01:16:19,274 --> 01:16:21,037
I thought you really had flipped.
986
01:16:21,243 --> 01:16:24,872
Well, that"s very good insurance,
you see. But with my...
987
01:16:25,080 --> 01:16:26,707
glamourous
psychiatrist backing me...
988
01:16:26,915 --> 01:16:29,440
they would never dare
take this case to court.
989
01:16:33,655 --> 01:16:37,648
The moment I woke up this morning,
I knew something was different.
990
01:16:37,926 --> 01:16:40,827
I couldn"t put my finger
on exactly what it was...
991
01:16:41,096 --> 01:16:44,759
and then I suddenly realized
I had become myself again.
992
01:16:45,067 --> 01:16:48,696
My real self.
L"d become Alan again.
993
01:16:48,971 --> 01:16:51,439
This may only be
a temporary remission.
994
01:16:51,640 --> 01:16:54,336
But we need to keep you here
under close observation.
995
01:16:55,177 --> 01:16:57,645
You"re such a good person,
Dr. Stukeley.
996
01:16:57,879 --> 01:17:01,337
You really are a good person.
God bless you.
997
01:17:01,583 --> 01:17:06,043
Let us return now to your mother,
Nadja Conova, the famous ballerina.
998
01:17:07,289 --> 01:17:11,555
All right, let me just ask you
one simple question.
999
01:17:12,127 --> 01:17:15,324
How come, when Mr. Conway
became Stanley Kubrick...
1000
01:17:15,864 --> 01:17:18,389
it was always in situations
and circumstances...
1001
01:17:18,600 --> 01:17:21,728
where he, Conway,
benefited directly?
1002
01:17:22,471 --> 01:17:25,167
Where he was on the take?
On the make?
1003
01:17:25,374 --> 01:17:27,205
No, no, becoming Stanley Kubrick...
1004
01:17:27,409 --> 01:17:30,242
has cost Mr. Conway
the larger part of his life savings.
1005
01:17:30,646 --> 01:17:33,706
Everyone, of course, expected
Mr. Kubrick to be generous...
1006
01:17:33,915 --> 01:17:37,976
being so rich and famous.
And Alan had to live up to that.
1007
01:17:38,186 --> 01:17:40,416
He spent many thousands of pounds.
1008
01:17:40,656 --> 01:17:42,521
Most of his life savings gone
1009
01:17:43,558 --> 01:17:45,822
Where did you get this from?
From him?
1010
01:17:46,094 --> 01:17:50,190
You"re willfully refusing to see the
gravity of Mr. Conway"s condition.
1011
01:17:50,532 --> 01:17:52,796
He"s a victim of mental illness.
1012
01:17:53,001 --> 01:17:58,633
Dr. Stukeley, why do you think
he"s saying such hurtful things?
1013
01:17:59,675 --> 01:18:04,977
Can it be because he doesn"t want
to see me healing and recovering?
1014
01:18:05,347 --> 01:18:07,781
Well, if you believe that,
you"d believe anything.
1015
01:18:08,250 --> 01:18:12,152
It was all bullshit.
All oxygen for him.
1016
01:18:13,655 --> 01:18:17,921
Everybody felt sorry for him,
took him on his own terms...
1017
01:18:18,126 --> 01:18:19,423
as a victim.
1018
01:18:20,162 --> 01:18:21,254
What?
1019
01:18:23,031 --> 01:18:24,623
He appeared on television!
1020
01:18:26,468 --> 01:18:29,403
He even got paid
for newspaper articles.
1021
01:18:30,872 --> 01:18:32,305
"Sic transit".
1022
01:18:33,041 --> 01:18:36,067
Yes, the International
Journal of Psychiatric Studies...
1023
01:18:36,278 --> 01:18:39,645
has accepted my case history
study of you for the winter issue.
1024
01:18:40,182 --> 01:18:44,243
Oh, that"s wonderful, doctor.
Congratulations. Really.
1025
01:18:44,953 --> 01:18:47,854
But l"m afraid that I must tell
and I must insist on this:
1026
01:18:48,323 --> 01:18:52,692
I couldn"t possibly accept
even the smallest fee.
1027
01:18:53,061 --> 01:18:55,222
Unless you thought
it was all right.
1028
01:18:55,430 --> 01:18:57,227
Nobody gets a fee. Not even I.
1029
01:18:57,432 --> 01:18:59,229
It is an honor
to be published there.
1030
01:19:00,168 --> 01:19:03,968
But would my name and address
be included in the article...
1031
01:19:04,172 --> 01:19:07,073
just in case anyone
should try and contact me?
1032
01:19:07,275 --> 01:19:10,005
Alan, patients are never
identified in case histories.
1033
01:19:10,212 --> 01:19:12,009
They"re always given a pseudonym.
1034
01:19:13,315 --> 01:19:15,510
- Not much advantage in that.
- Sorry?
1035
01:19:16,284 --> 01:19:18,844
I was saying I understand it.
1036
01:19:19,354 --> 01:19:23,415
Now, we must address ourselves your
last and, I say, lingering problem.
1037
01:19:24,593 --> 01:19:26,185
My lack of cash.
1038
01:19:26,628 --> 01:19:30,029
- I was referring to your alcoholism.
- Oh, that?
1039
01:19:30,332 --> 01:19:33,199
L"ve decided to send you on an
alcoholic rehabilitation course...
1040
01:19:33,401 --> 01:19:36,131
for four weeks,
to the Rimini Clinic.
1041
01:19:39,407 --> 01:19:41,068
The Rimini Clinic?
1042
01:19:44,846 --> 01:19:46,905
The Rimini Clinic?
1043
01:19:47,115 --> 01:19:52,314
But I read about it in a magazine
I bought at the supermarket.
1044
01:19:52,521 --> 01:19:58,221
That"s where the famous people, and
film and rock stars go to dry out.
1045
01:19:58,460 --> 01:20:01,190
It has a success rate of 95%.
1046
01:20:01,429 --> 01:20:03,829
But I can"t afford to stay there.
1047
01:20:04,366 --> 01:20:07,597
The National Health Services has4 placements a year there and...
1048
01:20:07,803 --> 01:20:09,395
you"ll be one of them.
1049
01:20:09,738 --> 01:20:13,731
But, Dr. Stukeley,I don"t deserve to go there.
1050
01:20:14,242 --> 01:20:17,370
It"s essential.You"re recovering, healing.
1051
01:20:18,580 --> 01:20:19,911
That"s true.
1052
01:20:22,350 --> 01:20:26,616
Would I get some sort of allowancewhile l"m in there, doctor?
1053
01:20:27,622 --> 01:20:29,487
Well, we can discuss that later.
1054
01:20:30,559 --> 01:20:35,792
L"ll be surroundedby rich and famous people.
1055
01:20:38,233 --> 01:20:40,064
L"d be in lock down.
1056
01:20:42,504 --> 01:20:44,096
How will I cope?
84659
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