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0
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Josh.
1
00:00:09,705 --> 00:00:12,624
Fuck. No, no, no, no, no!
2
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Beluga caviar?
3
00:00:13,786 --> 00:00:14,787
Fuck!
4
00:00:14,788 --> 00:00:17,065
All of a sudden I'm housemates
with Vladimir Putin.
5
00:00:18,067 --> 00:00:19,585
Arnold got that for me
for Valentine's Day.
6
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Oh, it expired on Sunday.
7
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Shit.
8
00:00:22,426 --> 00:00:23,825
How much is that?
9
00:00:23,826 --> 00:00:27,384
- Like, $150.
- $150?
10
00:00:27,385 --> 00:00:29,904
How did you forget to eat
$150 worth of caviar?
11
00:00:29,905 --> 00:00:31,904
Well, Tom, we were waiting
for the perfect moment
12
00:00:31,905 --> 00:00:33,264
but then it never came.
13
00:00:33,265 --> 00:00:34,265
Well, that's poetic.
14
00:00:34,266 --> 00:00:35,505
Maybe it's still good?
15
00:00:38,904 --> 00:00:40,824
That was fucking creepy.
16
00:00:40,825 --> 00:00:42,491
That's how you taste caviar!
17
00:00:44,664 --> 00:00:46,023
Is it okay to eat?
18
00:00:46,024 --> 00:00:48,183
I don't know. I've never had it
before and it tastes sort of off
19
00:00:48,184 --> 00:00:49,184
but, like, in a good way.
20
00:00:49,185 --> 00:00:51,062
- Yeah, I'm into it.
- 'Cause it tastes like pussy?
21
00:00:51,063 --> 00:00:52,064
Mm.
22
00:00:52,065 --> 00:00:56,902
If that's what you taste like then I
just... you need to change something.
23
00:00:56,903 --> 00:00:58,783
Hey, do you know what I
think you'd really love?
24
00:00:58,784 --> 00:01:02,742
Like, a really pretty guy
with, like, cute curly hair,
25
00:01:02,743 --> 00:01:04,622
and a very good BMI, like,
26
00:01:04,623 --> 00:01:06,862
- does lots of nice compliments...
- Oh, yeah?
27
00:01:06,863 --> 00:01:10,502
Very smart and does
surprisingly romantic things
28
00:01:10,503 --> 00:01:12,461
and maybe he's got a bit of money
but he's not arrogant.
29
00:01:12,462 --> 00:01:14,341
- Yeah, Arnold is quite good. Yep.
- Yeah.
30
00:01:14,342 --> 00:01:16,221
But you just can't make
yourself love him.
31
00:01:16,222 --> 00:01:17,382
Not anymore.
32
00:01:17,383 --> 00:01:20,260
For me, the question here is,
what's wrong with you?
33
00:01:20,261 --> 00:01:21,462
Face.
34
00:01:24,021 --> 00:01:25,500
Is that a speck of mould?
35
00:01:25,501 --> 00:01:26,661
I don't know.
36
00:01:26,662 --> 00:01:28,060
Just eat around it.
37
00:01:28,061 --> 00:01:29,061
I love you.
38
00:01:29,062 --> 00:01:32,701
I am feeling optimistic and
enthusiastic about my dating future.
39
00:01:59,779 --> 00:02:01,617
Don't look at me! Don't look at me!
40
00:02:06,618 --> 00:02:09,256
A bus is here. I mean,
this just must be him.
41
00:02:09,257 --> 00:02:12,056
Why is Tom still talking
to the real estate agent?
42
00:02:12,057 --> 00:02:15,136
Is it a girl with low self-esteem?
43
00:02:15,137 --> 00:02:17,738
This house is so ugly
and he's pretending it isn't.
44
00:02:20,097 --> 00:02:21,456
No one got out.
45
00:02:21,457 --> 00:02:23,137
Why did no one get out?
46
00:02:27,256 --> 00:02:29,615
He just messaged and said
that he's ten minutes away.
47
00:02:29,616 --> 00:02:30,855
He's said that quite a lot.
48
00:02:30,856 --> 00:02:32,495
Many times.
49
00:02:32,496 --> 00:02:36,095
Oh, no, Ella, he just said he's in
school uniform and hopes that's okay.
50
00:02:36,096 --> 00:02:37,096
Is that okay?
51
00:02:37,097 --> 00:02:38,534
Josh, how old is this boy?
52
00:02:38,535 --> 00:02:40,295
I don't know, it doesn't
say on his profile.
53
00:02:40,296 --> 00:02:42,894
I mean, he looks adult. I
promise he looks like an adult.
54
00:02:42,895 --> 00:02:44,494
- Ask him.
- Yeah.
55
00:02:44,495 --> 00:02:46,054
He's 18.
56
00:02:46,055 --> 00:02:47,774
That's quite young.
Who do you think you are?
57
00:02:47,775 --> 00:02:50,133
Tom?
58
00:02:50,134 --> 00:02:52,534
Oh, God.
59
00:02:52,535 --> 00:02:53,933
What?
60
00:02:53,934 --> 00:02:55,893
He wants me to pee on him.
61
00:02:55,894 --> 00:02:57,094
Will you pee on him?
62
00:02:57,095 --> 00:02:58,614
I don't know, it just
seems I'm a bit young
63
00:02:58,615 --> 00:03:01,173
to start experimenting that
hard with my sex life.
64
00:03:01,174 --> 00:03:02,294
He's 18.
65
00:03:02,295 --> 00:03:04,812
Kids these days! Am I right?
66
00:03:04,813 --> 00:03:07,732
So many people just love being peed on.
67
00:03:08,319 --> 00:03:10,093
He says he won't come
if I don't pee on him.
68
00:03:10,094 --> 00:03:12,772
He hasn't left yet? What's going on?
69
00:03:12,773 --> 00:03:15,333
Should I just pee on him?
I mean, I've already come this far.
70
00:03:17,213 --> 00:03:18,333
Yeah, I vote yes.
71
00:03:18,334 --> 00:03:20,131
All right, I'm saying yes.
72
00:03:20,132 --> 00:03:22,131
You said I should!
73
00:03:22,132 --> 00:03:23,801
I'm not sure that I thought it through!
74
00:03:24,978 --> 00:03:27,771
Oh, no, he just said he's in a
wheelchair and he hopes that's okay.
75
00:03:27,772 --> 00:03:29,851
Oh, no...
76
00:03:29,852 --> 00:03:30,851
Oh, no.
77
00:03:30,852 --> 00:03:32,651
You know what's happening
here, don't you?
78
00:03:32,652 --> 00:03:34,730
Yeah, this boy doesn't exist.
79
00:03:34,731 --> 00:03:35,732
You're talking to
80
00:03:35,733 --> 00:03:37,610
perhaps an anonymous group
of friends at a party
81
00:03:37,611 --> 00:03:42,090
and they are laughing at you for
agreeing to pee on a school kid.
82
00:03:42,091 --> 00:03:43,091
Yep.
83
00:03:43,092 --> 00:03:44,930
How are you feeling?
84
00:03:44,931 --> 00:03:48,609
I'm feeling like I learnt a lot
about myself and the world.
85
00:03:48,610 --> 00:03:51,489
Maybe you guys want to
hang out with me, yeah?
86
00:03:51,490 --> 00:03:55,850
Oh, I wish. We've got so
many more houses to look at.
87
00:04:11,049 --> 00:04:12,608
What's all this, then?
88
00:04:13,609 --> 00:04:15,287
I've taken up boxing training.
89
00:04:15,288 --> 00:04:16,728
She's just showing off.
90
00:04:16,729 --> 00:04:19,367
You're gonna be a million dollar baby.
91
00:04:19,368 --> 00:04:23,167
Million dollar baby was thin and fit.
92
00:04:23,168 --> 00:04:25,047
And rich and dead.
93
00:04:25,048 --> 00:04:26,566
See, some women can have it all.
94
00:04:26,567 --> 00:04:28,807
Sounds fun. Maybe I'll join you.
Maybe I'll do some boxing.
95
00:04:28,808 --> 00:04:32,966
No son of mine is going to be
hitting people for fun, Josh.
96
00:04:32,967 --> 00:04:34,646
I'll only hit bad guys.
97
00:04:34,647 --> 00:04:36,046
Like robbers, etc.
98
00:04:36,047 --> 00:04:40,126
Why can't you ever take my side?
99
00:04:40,127 --> 00:04:42,926
I mean, I take your
side plenty, don't I?
100
00:04:42,927 --> 00:04:45,725
You liked boxing yesterday.
You should have been here then.
101
00:04:45,726 --> 00:04:47,953
You would've been on her side.
Maybe come back tomorrow?
102
00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:50,325
Stop talking about me as
though I'm not even here!
103
00:04:50,326 --> 00:04:52,445
Hello! Am I here?
104
00:04:52,446 --> 00:04:54,085
Can anybody hear me?
105
00:04:54,086 --> 00:04:55,804
Mum, we're just playing,
okay. Calm down.
106
00:04:55,805 --> 00:04:57,525
Hannah, go to your room.
107
00:04:57,526 --> 00:04:59,260
I've been grounded again.
108
00:05:00,398 --> 00:05:02,044
You can go too, Josh.
109
00:05:02,758 --> 00:05:04,203
Okay, see ya.
110
00:05:04,204 --> 00:05:06,244
- See ya, little munchkin.
- Oh, piss off!
111
00:05:06,245 --> 00:05:07,884
- She's a little munchkin.
- Piss off!
112
00:05:10,724 --> 00:05:11,924
Okay.
113
00:05:13,004 --> 00:05:15,243
This is me when I have
my plastic surgery.
114
00:05:15,244 --> 00:05:17,123
Looks good, better.
115
00:05:17,124 --> 00:05:19,923
When are you back
so we can do sex things?
116
00:05:19,924 --> 00:05:22,802
Two weeks, but we can't do sex things.
117
00:05:22,803 --> 00:05:25,722
Why not? Why can't we do sex things?
118
00:05:25,723 --> 00:05:27,283
I have a girlfriend now.
119
00:05:28,283 --> 00:05:29,323
A girlfriend?
120
00:05:29,324 --> 00:05:31,602
Yeah. A girlfriend.
121
00:05:31,930 --> 00:05:33,729
And you do sex with her?
122
00:05:34,722 --> 00:05:35,923
Yes.
123
00:05:36,722 --> 00:05:39,080
Well, that's cool, isn't it?
124
00:05:39,682 --> 00:05:41,002
Very modern.
125
00:05:43,522 --> 00:05:45,320
Did you just burp?
126
00:05:45,321 --> 00:05:46,641
Yeah.
127
00:05:46,642 --> 00:05:48,640
I'm sick of sexuality being fluid.
128
00:05:48,641 --> 00:05:50,920
I miss the days when your gays were
gay, your straights were straight
129
00:05:50,921 --> 00:05:52,386
and your bisexuals were lying.
130
00:05:56,121 --> 00:05:59,223
Last time I tried to
fly it was so embarrassing.
131
00:06:00,039 --> 00:06:01,960
I got so scared when we
hit a bit of turbulence
132
00:06:01,961 --> 00:06:04,239
and I accidentally grabbed the
hand of the man next to me.
133
00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:06,471
There isn't anywhere
safer than in a plane.
134
00:06:06,473 --> 00:06:08,356
I mean, it's such a
controlled environment.
135
00:06:08,358 --> 00:06:10,519
Like, there's such a bigger chance
that I murder you right now
136
00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:11,918
than you'll die in a plane crash.
137
00:06:11,919 --> 00:06:12,847
Don't you think?
138
00:06:13,643 --> 00:06:15,959
I have never seen anyone
more scared of flying than me.
139
00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:19,118
I'm such a baby about it.
It's so embarrassing.
140
00:06:19,119 --> 00:06:21,518
Just, what I think, I
think the key is, right,
141
00:06:21,519 --> 00:06:23,518
is to just stop being
afraid of death altogether.
142
00:06:23,519 --> 00:06:26,317
Don't you think it's a little bit
arrogant to be scared of dying?
143
00:06:26,318 --> 00:06:28,798
Like, in the grand scheme of
things, like the billions people
144
00:06:28,799 --> 00:06:31,877
and the millions of years and
the stardust and the mammoths,
145
00:06:31,878 --> 00:06:33,357
and... Taylor Swift,
146
00:06:33,358 --> 00:06:37,038
I dunno, it just seems like... like
you don't really matter that much.
147
00:06:38,037 --> 00:06:39,064
You know?
148
00:06:39,558 --> 00:06:41,036
Wow, I'm cured.
149
00:06:41,037 --> 00:06:43,876
Yeah, I fixed it.
150
00:06:43,877 --> 00:06:45,597
- He cured me, Bastion.
- Yeah.
151
00:06:49,157 --> 00:06:51,037
I'm sorry.
152
00:06:53,036 --> 00:06:55,155
Hey, Ma. I'm sorry, I can't really talk.
153
00:06:55,156 --> 00:06:56,795
Josh, Hannah has been ignoring me.
154
00:06:56,796 --> 00:07:01,115
She hasn't spoken to me for days
and I didn't do anything at all.
155
00:07:01,116 --> 00:07:02,955
She's just being so mean to me.
156
00:07:02,956 --> 00:07:05,435
I'm sorry, Mum. I'm on a
date and I have to go.
157
00:07:05,436 --> 00:07:06,834
You aren't on a date.
158
00:07:06,835 --> 00:07:07,995
I am on a date.
159
00:07:07,996 --> 00:07:09,675
No, you're just trying to get rid of me.
160
00:07:09,676 --> 00:07:11,754
Is it really so hard for you
to believe that I'm on a date?
161
00:07:11,755 --> 00:07:13,354
You are lying, Joshua.
162
00:07:13,355 --> 00:07:14,834
I know when you're lying.
I'm your mother.
163
00:07:14,835 --> 00:07:16,154
You're just trying to get rid of me.
164
00:07:16,155 --> 00:07:17,954
Can you please tell my mother you exist?
165
00:07:17,955 --> 00:07:19,153
I exist.
166
00:07:19,154 --> 00:07:20,946
- Oh, hello.
- Okay?
167
00:07:20,948 --> 00:07:22,347
Oh, fine!
168
00:07:29,681 --> 00:07:31,121
Do you want to punch?
169
00:07:32,114 --> 00:07:33,792
The bag.
170
00:07:33,793 --> 00:07:36,673
Not me. Don't punch me.
171
00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:49,872
You have a lot of big books,
you must be pretty smart.
172
00:07:49,873 --> 00:07:51,231
I'm a podiatrist.
173
00:07:51,232 --> 00:07:53,392
I don't know why I said that about
the books. Okay, I have books.
174
00:07:53,393 --> 00:07:55,271
I want you to know that.
Like, it's not weird to me.
175
00:07:55,272 --> 00:07:56,471
Like, I'm smart.
176
00:07:56,472 --> 00:07:59,151
- Yeah.
- Yeah, Okay, now we're both smart.
177
00:07:59,152 --> 00:08:00,471
Thank you.
178
00:08:00,472 --> 00:08:02,191
I probably have nicer feet, though.
179
00:08:02,192 --> 00:08:04,151
I mean, I used to have
real bad ingrown toenails
180
00:08:04,152 --> 00:08:05,791
but they're fine now.
181
00:08:07,847 --> 00:08:09,710
Is... is that a good anecdote for you?
182
00:08:09,711 --> 00:08:11,309
Is that the kind of
anecdote you like to hear?
183
00:08:11,310 --> 00:08:13,591
It was until you said you're okay now.
184
00:08:15,431 --> 00:08:17,550
There's no money in healthy toenails.
185
00:08:23,790 --> 00:08:25,270
You're a good kisser.
186
00:08:26,269 --> 00:08:29,268
Don't really know what that means.
187
00:08:29,269 --> 00:08:30,350
Just give me a minute.
188
00:08:30,351 --> 00:08:32,228
I like to smoke a bit before sex.
189
00:08:32,229 --> 00:08:33,229
Do you want some?
190
00:08:33,230 --> 00:08:35,109
No, thank you.
191
00:08:39,669 --> 00:08:40,868
Is that meth?
192
00:08:41,789 --> 00:08:43,867
Yeah. I just have a little bit.
193
00:08:43,868 --> 00:08:45,117
Sure, of course.
194
00:08:46,069 --> 00:08:48,028
It's Tuesday night, after all.
195
00:08:49,588 --> 00:08:51,747
He smoked meth. Actual meth.
196
00:08:51,748 --> 00:08:54,707
Yep. He's a podiatrist
and he had a terrarium
197
00:08:54,708 --> 00:08:57,786
and it tricked me into thinking
that it's okay to smoke meth.
198
00:08:57,787 --> 00:08:59,066
What did you do?
199
00:08:59,067 --> 00:09:03,946
Uh, well, I waited for him to finish
smoking his meth and then we had sex,
200
00:09:03,947 --> 00:09:07,626
which... I would've thought that I
wouldn't have had sex with someone
201
00:09:07,627 --> 00:09:10,705
after they smoked meth,
but no, there I was doing it.
202
00:09:10,707 --> 00:09:13,426
Turns out I am surprisingly easygoing.
203
00:09:13,428 --> 00:09:14,985
Could you get me a glass of water?
204
00:09:14,986 --> 00:09:16,186
Yeah.
205
00:09:17,786 --> 00:09:19,705
You're Aboriginal, yeah?
206
00:09:19,706 --> 00:09:21,384
I'm Wurundjeri on my mum's side.
207
00:09:21,385 --> 00:09:22,665
That's cool.
208
00:09:22,666 --> 00:09:23,746
Is it cool, is it?
209
00:09:23,748 --> 00:09:25,823
Very cool, very chic.
I'm stuck being white.
210
00:09:25,825 --> 00:09:28,584
- White people are the worst.
- Some of my best friends are white.
211
00:09:28,585 --> 00:09:29,585
Well, all of mine are.
212
00:09:29,586 --> 00:09:31,605
All right, it's not a competition.
213
00:09:32,426 --> 00:09:36,063
I feel very awkward and weird
about how horrible we've been.
214
00:09:36,064 --> 00:09:38,703
Really, I do. I feel quite
anxious talking about it.
215
00:09:38,704 --> 00:09:41,384
I'm sorry you feel anxious.
I shouldn't have brought it up.
216
00:09:41,385 --> 00:09:43,943
So we went quite hard on
the murder and the rape
217
00:09:43,944 --> 00:09:46,103
- and the oppression thing, didn't we?
- Yep.
218
00:09:46,104 --> 00:09:48,222
Not me. I didn't. I wouldn't.
219
00:09:48,223 --> 00:09:50,342
- I would never, I promise.
- Oh, thank you. I appreciate that.
220
00:09:50,343 --> 00:09:51,343
Yeah.
221
00:09:51,344 --> 00:09:56,143
My great-granddad though, whoa.
I mean, he probably would have.
222
00:09:56,144 --> 00:09:59,887
You know, he would be furious
to see me here on a date with you.
223
00:09:59,889 --> 00:10:01,222
It's presumptuous to call this a date.
224
00:10:01,223 --> 00:10:02,221
It's sort of a date.
225
00:10:02,222 --> 00:10:03,222
Is it a date,
226
00:10:03,223 --> 00:10:05,461
or the world's worst application
for Young Australian of the Year?
227
00:10:05,462 --> 00:10:07,502
I mean, we didn't let
Aboriginal people go to school
228
00:10:07,503 --> 00:10:09,181
until, like, 30 years ago.
229
00:10:09,182 --> 00:10:11,581
Yep. I know. I guarantee you
I know all about this.
230
00:10:11,582 --> 00:10:13,700
Fuck, that's recent,
you know what I mean?
231
00:10:13,701 --> 00:10:16,541
Like, that's very... Fuck, shit,
that's like your parents' generation,
232
00:10:16,542 --> 00:10:17,541
you know?
233
00:10:17,542 --> 00:10:19,860
And then you get all these
white people, who are not me,
234
00:10:19,861 --> 00:10:21,860
and they're furious about these programs
235
00:10:21,861 --> 00:10:24,380
that are just aimed at helping
Aboriginal communities catch up,
236
00:10:24,381 --> 00:10:25,659
and it's just very, like...
237
00:10:25,660 --> 00:10:28,060
It's all very... just
a bit shit, you know?
238
00:10:28,061 --> 00:10:31,379
Like, everyone's just still so racist.
239
00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:33,420
Not me, obviously.
240
00:10:33,421 --> 00:10:34,939
Because I am here on a date with you.
241
00:10:34,940 --> 00:10:37,419
- Thank heavens.
- A lucky boy.
242
00:10:40,019 --> 00:10:42,659
I mean, you can't hail a taxi, can you?
243
00:10:42,660 --> 00:10:45,619
Like, taxis aren't stopping for
Aboriginal people, are they?
244
00:10:45,620 --> 00:10:48,579
Oh, you're probably fine.
I mean, you're so tidy.
245
00:10:48,580 --> 00:10:50,978
If you go out in an unironed
shirt, then I just...
246
00:10:50,979 --> 00:10:54,058
I mean, have you ever successfully
hailed a taxi in an unironed shirt?
247
00:10:54,059 --> 00:10:56,378
Oh, I don't go out in unironed shirts.
248
00:10:56,379 --> 00:10:57,379
Okay.
249
00:10:57,380 --> 00:10:58,937
I mean, taxis, they just stop for me.
250
00:10:58,938 --> 00:11:00,457
You know, sorry, but they do.
They just stop.
251
00:11:00,458 --> 00:11:01,578
There's nothing I can do about it.
252
00:11:01,579 --> 00:11:03,017
Even if I don't iron,
they just stop for me.
253
00:11:03,018 --> 00:11:05,337
You keep going on about this,
I'm not going to have sex with you.
254
00:11:05,338 --> 00:11:08,097
Are you... are you maybe
gonna have sex with me?
255
00:11:08,098 --> 00:11:09,336
I've come this far.
256
00:11:09,337 --> 00:11:11,937
No. I don't think you
should, to be honest.
257
00:11:11,938 --> 00:11:14,257
I mean, haven't my people
already put you through enough?
258
00:11:28,576 --> 00:11:30,695
He gave me a Hickey. Look at it.
259
00:11:30,696 --> 00:11:31,696
Urgh!
260
00:11:31,697 --> 00:11:33,375
Yeah. Look what he did to me.
261
00:11:33,376 --> 00:11:35,654
That is so creepy.
That is actually so creepy.
262
00:11:35,655 --> 00:11:37,095
He's trying to mark you.
263
00:11:37,096 --> 00:11:39,454
I mean, I can't go and see
Arnold with a Hickey.
264
00:11:39,455 --> 00:11:40,855
Temporary tattoo.
265
00:11:40,857 --> 00:11:42,534
I've got one of a scorpion.
266
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:44,774
How do I convince him I wanted
a tattoo of a scorpion?
267
00:11:44,775 --> 00:11:45,815
Say a kid did it.
268
00:11:45,816 --> 00:11:48,414
What? That is just the stupid...
269
00:11:48,415 --> 00:11:51,235
That is so unbelievable.
270
00:11:52,455 --> 00:11:53,654
You could just wear a scarf.
271
00:11:53,655 --> 00:11:56,173
Yeah, I thought about that,
but then what if we get naked?
272
00:11:56,174 --> 00:11:57,773
You're gonna get naked with Arnold?
273
00:11:57,774 --> 00:11:59,773
I really don't want to, but
also I'm a very shit guy,
274
00:11:59,774 --> 00:12:02,372
and if he's standing there looking
cute and he's forward enough,
275
00:12:02,373 --> 00:12:03,653
then of course I will.
276
00:12:03,654 --> 00:12:05,732
Of course, of course.
277
00:12:05,733 --> 00:12:09,133
Scratch it with a stick so it looks
like you fell out of a tree?
278
00:12:10,133 --> 00:12:12,854
Oh, um...
279
00:12:13,726 --> 00:12:16,012
I mean, I don't like
the idea of the pain,
280
00:12:16,013 --> 00:12:19,252
but I do like in him thinking that
I'm happy enough to climb trees.
281
00:12:19,253 --> 00:12:21,972
- Yeah!
- Google says to use toothpaste.
282
00:12:21,973 --> 00:12:25,011
No, that's not a true thing.
Toothpaste isn't magic.
283
00:12:25,012 --> 00:12:26,012
You could just try it.
284
00:12:26,013 --> 00:12:27,291
Then I won't be able to try the stick.
285
00:12:27,292 --> 00:12:28,006
Why?
286
00:12:28,008 --> 00:12:29,531
Because if I have to wait till tomorrow
287
00:12:29,532 --> 00:12:30,532
to see if the toothpaste works
288
00:12:30,533 --> 00:12:33,052
the scratch will be too fresh
to have believably bruised.
289
00:12:36,251 --> 00:12:40,290
I mean, I don't think I can convince
him that I wanted to climb a tree.
290
00:12:40,291 --> 00:12:42,290
- Is it there?
- Yep.
291
00:12:42,291 --> 00:12:43,529
Just quiet.
292
00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:46,010
Ahhhhh!
293
00:12:47,290 --> 00:12:49,138
- How is it?
- Oh, yeah.
294
00:12:49,690 --> 00:12:50,969
- It's good.
- Yeah, it's good.
295
00:12:50,970 --> 00:12:53,010
This has been such a productive day.
296
00:12:54,290 --> 00:12:57,488
Who gave you a Hickey? And why do
you have a scratch on your neck?
297
00:12:57,489 --> 00:12:58,569
I've been doing mischief.
298
00:12:58,570 --> 00:13:01,610
- Oooh!
- Are you dating already?
299
00:13:01,612 --> 00:13:02,570
Is he fun?
300
00:13:02,572 --> 00:13:05,295
I feel optimistic and
enthusiastic about the future.
301
00:13:05,297 --> 00:13:07,328
What's the Arnold status?
302
00:13:07,330 --> 00:13:09,207
He was meant to come over
today but he didn't show up.
303
00:13:09,208 --> 00:13:11,987
- Oh, did he say why?
- He said something came up.
304
00:13:11,989 --> 00:13:13,327
Oh, that's vague.
305
00:13:13,328 --> 00:13:14,529
Yeah, and that's his whole shtick.
306
00:13:14,530 --> 00:13:15,887
Well, it's a shit shtick.
307
00:13:15,888 --> 00:13:18,847
Jeez, I'm getting sick of this
mysterious business he's doing.
308
00:13:18,848 --> 00:13:20,937
You're not Willy Wonka, Arnold!
309
00:13:21,431 --> 00:13:23,606
Grow up and pull your bloody head in.
310
00:13:23,607 --> 00:13:26,127
I know you've got mental
issues, but Christ, boy,
311
00:13:26,128 --> 00:13:28,326
you can't play with people willy-nilly.
312
00:13:28,327 --> 00:13:30,846
Because he's not Willy Wonka?
313
00:13:30,847 --> 00:13:34,086
Yeah, he can't play willy-nilly
because he's not Willy Wonka, yes.
314
00:13:34,087 --> 00:13:36,806
But he look like Willy Wonka, right?
315
00:13:36,807 --> 00:13:38,405
I've seen him in velvet pants.
316
00:13:38,406 --> 00:13:41,485
- He is Willy Wonka!
- Yeah.
317
00:13:41,486 --> 00:13:44,165
Don't try and Oompa-Loompa your
way out of this one, Wonka.
318
00:13:44,166 --> 00:13:46,726
- This is Josh's heart!
- Mm-hm!
319
00:13:52,526 --> 00:13:53,884
Hannah Banana.
320
00:13:53,885 --> 00:13:56,404
Your mum just ran away from home, Josh.
321
00:13:56,405 --> 00:13:57,405
When?
322
00:13:57,406 --> 00:13:59,219
About 12 seconds ago.
323
00:14:00,498 --> 00:14:02,439
Do you think she's thinking
of killing herself?
324
00:14:02,441 --> 00:14:04,603
No. I mean, she packed bags.
325
00:14:04,604 --> 00:14:06,644
Do you think she's expecting
to get into heaven?
326
00:14:06,645 --> 00:14:09,203
Okay. What happened?
327
00:14:09,204 --> 00:14:10,205
Oh, you know.
328
00:14:10,206 --> 00:14:12,843
She was just getting really intense
and I told her to piss off,
329
00:14:12,844 --> 00:14:14,323
but I didn't mean out of the house.
330
00:14:14,324 --> 00:14:16,282
I just wanted her out of my knee circle.
331
00:14:16,283 --> 00:14:17,723
Okay. Cool. I'll call her and find her.
332
00:14:17,724 --> 00:14:19,882
Thanks for calling and letting me know.
Seriously, okay. Thanks.
333
00:14:19,883 --> 00:14:22,522
- Bye.
- Okay, bye. Can you please pull over?
334
00:14:22,523 --> 00:14:24,162
Sure. Is everything okay?
335
00:14:24,163 --> 00:14:26,442
I think it will be. Do you?
336
00:14:26,443 --> 00:14:27,643
Oh, I think so.
337
00:14:28,883 --> 00:14:30,083
Hi, Ma.
338
00:14:40,802 --> 00:14:42,282
Thank you!
339
00:14:44,402 --> 00:14:45,760
You're running away from home?
340
00:14:45,761 --> 00:14:46,961
Yes.
341
00:14:47,802 --> 00:14:48,881
Where to?
342
00:14:48,882 --> 00:14:50,921
I haven't decided yet.
343
00:14:50,922 --> 00:14:53,400
Okay. Hannah said you had a fight.
344
00:14:53,401 --> 00:14:57,040
I don't know why she's
being so mean to me.
345
00:14:58,321 --> 00:14:59,560
Did you ask her?
346
00:14:59,561 --> 00:15:02,480
No, she didn't listen. She never speaks.
347
00:15:02,481 --> 00:15:04,959
She could basically be a Buddhist monk
348
00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:06,639
if she didn't drink so
much chocolate milk.
349
00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:09,880
All right. Well, then...
What's the plan now?
350
00:15:10,880 --> 00:15:14,319
I guess that I go home
and I confront Hannah.
351
00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:15,918
No, please don't. Just not today.
352
00:15:15,919 --> 00:15:17,798
Just let things calm
down a bit, maybe, yeah?
353
00:15:17,799 --> 00:15:20,397
Okay. I won't talk to her, then.
354
00:15:20,398 --> 00:15:23,198
No... obviously you should
talk to her, just maybe not today.
355
00:15:23,199 --> 00:15:24,599
Fine, fine!
356
00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:28,038
Do you want to go and do something fun?
357
00:15:29,278 --> 00:15:31,117
No. No...
358
00:15:31,118 --> 00:15:33,078
I've worn myself out.
359
00:15:35,758 --> 00:15:38,036
- I feel quite silly.
- Yep.
360
00:15:38,571 --> 00:15:40,398
Yeah, you've been a little silly.
361
00:15:49,676 --> 00:15:50,877
Just...
362
00:15:51,397 --> 00:15:52,397
Just, yeah...
363
00:16:09,075 --> 00:16:10,794
Boo.
364
00:16:10,795 --> 00:16:11,874
What?
365
00:16:11,875 --> 00:16:12,874
The condom broke.
366
00:16:12,875 --> 00:16:14,555
Oh, fuck.
367
00:16:16,074 --> 00:16:17,915
I hope you're not
expecting child support.
368
00:16:20,154 --> 00:16:21,555
You look scared.
369
00:16:22,554 --> 00:16:25,553
Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's just
a little scary, isn't it?
370
00:16:25,554 --> 00:16:27,437
It's okay. I just got tested.
371
00:16:29,674 --> 00:16:30,873
Let's have a shower.
372
00:16:31,754 --> 00:16:33,592
Do I have anything to worry about?
373
00:16:33,593 --> 00:16:35,032
Mm-mm. No, I'm very responsible.
374
00:16:35,033 --> 00:16:37,712
I'm like the Hermione of using condoms.
375
00:16:37,713 --> 00:16:40,192
Isn't Hermione's only
downfall her hygiene?
376
00:16:40,193 --> 00:16:41,353
She's a hot mess.
377
00:16:41,855 --> 00:16:45,992
Okay. Um, when was the
last time you got tested?
378
00:16:47,170 --> 00:16:49,912
Well, I don't really get tested,
because I'm always so safe.
379
00:16:51,912 --> 00:16:53,112
Right.
380
00:16:53,911 --> 00:16:57,550
I lied because I wanted you
to stop looking scared.
381
00:16:57,551 --> 00:17:00,391
But I told the truth this
time, so I think it's okay.
382
00:17:01,391 --> 00:17:02,591
Yeah.
383
00:17:04,631 --> 00:17:06,430
Should we get PEP?
Do we have to get PEP?
384
00:17:06,431 --> 00:17:07,471
What is PEP?
385
00:17:07,472 --> 00:17:09,270
Seriously? You don't know what PEP is?
386
00:17:09,271 --> 00:17:10,271
I feel judged.
387
00:17:10,272 --> 00:17:13,435
PEP is like the morning
after pill, but for HIV.
388
00:17:13,437 --> 00:17:14,909
Okay, cool. Let's get PEP.
389
00:17:14,910 --> 00:17:18,189
It's not that easy, though, is it?
390
00:17:18,190 --> 00:17:20,589
It can make you sort of
quite ill sometimes.
391
00:17:20,882 --> 00:17:21,882
Shit.
392
00:17:21,884 --> 00:17:23,148
It's fine.
393
00:17:23,149 --> 00:17:26,348
I had chronic fatigue for
two years. I can handle it.
394
00:17:29,469 --> 00:17:31,948
I think we should go and get
tested for HIV together instead.
395
00:17:31,949 --> 00:17:33,508
I know it's not perfect,
but I think it's fine.
396
00:17:33,509 --> 00:17:34,907
I think it's acceptable risk.
397
00:17:34,908 --> 00:17:37,268
- Okay.
- Okay.
398
00:17:37,269 --> 00:17:40,707
How many sexual partners have
you had in the last six months?
399
00:17:40,708 --> 00:17:42,629
- Um...
- Roughly?
400
00:17:43,668 --> 00:17:44,868
12.
401
00:17:46,308 --> 00:17:47,308
Is that a lot?
402
00:17:47,309 --> 00:17:50,987
How many of those partners did
you do receptive anal sex with?
403
00:17:50,988 --> 00:17:53,146
Only, like, two. Yeah.
404
00:17:53,147 --> 00:17:55,726
I know I seem really bottomy,
but actually I really don't like it.
405
00:17:55,728 --> 00:17:58,066
How many have you had
penetrative anal sex with?
406
00:17:58,067 --> 00:17:59,267
10.
407
00:18:00,147 --> 00:18:01,766
And how many were just oral?
408
00:18:01,768 --> 00:18:03,066
Oh, we're including just oral?
409
00:18:03,067 --> 00:18:05,346
I didn't know we were including
just oral, I'm sorry.
410
00:18:05,347 --> 00:18:08,946
Um... Then it's like 16,
I think. Is that a lot?
411
00:18:08,947 --> 00:18:11,105
I mean, 16, that seems
like a lot, doesn't it?
412
00:18:11,106 --> 00:18:13,745
I'm just trying to, like, get
myself out there, you know?
413
00:18:13,746 --> 00:18:16,705
Just trying to meet people
and exist in the world.
414
00:18:16,706 --> 00:18:18,345
You know what I mean?
415
00:18:18,346 --> 00:18:21,025
- Just trying to live.
- Mm-hm.
416
00:18:21,026 --> 00:18:22,545
You don't care.
417
00:18:31,345 --> 00:18:33,664
That should take about 20 minutes.
418
00:18:40,024 --> 00:18:41,982
Hey, do you want to hear
something interesting?
419
00:18:41,983 --> 00:18:43,983
Gosh, you've hyped it up, haven't you?
420
00:18:44,780 --> 00:18:46,743
Last time I was at the
hospital my gran died.
421
00:18:48,023 --> 00:18:49,302
Sorry.
422
00:18:49,303 --> 00:18:51,782
Awkward for you.
423
00:18:51,783 --> 00:18:53,382
It's fine.
424
00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:55,822
So it was all very sad,
and we left the room.
425
00:18:55,823 --> 00:18:58,822
Then as I was heading down the
hall I see from her doorway
426
00:18:58,823 --> 00:19:01,382
that we've left the light on, and
she hates wasting electricity.
427
00:19:01,383 --> 00:19:02,382
So I went to turn it off,
428
00:19:02,383 --> 00:19:04,902
but when I get there,
the light isn't on.
429
00:19:04,903 --> 00:19:08,806
It's her body. Her body was
actually emanating the glow.
430
00:19:09,479 --> 00:19:13,342
She was such a kind woman that her
spirit was glowing with light.
431
00:19:15,301 --> 00:19:16,502
No.
432
00:19:17,821 --> 00:19:18,820
What do you mean, no?
433
00:19:18,821 --> 00:19:20,021
No.
434
00:19:20,501 --> 00:19:21,901
No, you're doing tricking.
435
00:19:22,461 --> 00:19:23,700
What are you talking about?
436
00:19:23,701 --> 00:19:25,819
I'm telling you a story
about my dead grandma.
437
00:19:25,820 --> 00:19:27,620
No, no, no. You're doing, like...
438
00:19:27,621 --> 00:19:28,939
I know it's a gamble here,
439
00:19:28,940 --> 00:19:31,948
but you're doing, like...
you're trying to embarrass me.
440
00:19:32,660 --> 00:19:33,860
Right?
441
00:19:34,300 --> 00:19:35,939
What the fuck is wrong with you?
442
00:19:35,940 --> 00:19:37,140
No.
443
00:19:38,340 --> 00:19:40,298
No, you're tricking, aren't you?
444
00:19:40,299 --> 00:19:41,499
No.
445
00:19:51,659 --> 00:19:53,739
Hannah, could you come in here?
446
00:19:56,370 --> 00:19:57,770
We have to talk.
447
00:20:00,579 --> 00:20:02,297
You need to start paying rent.
448
00:20:02,298 --> 00:20:05,337
Obviously you don't think of me as
a friend. You're just using me.
449
00:20:05,338 --> 00:20:09,217
So either you contribute properly
or you be a proper friend.
450
00:20:09,218 --> 00:20:10,576
The choice is yours.
451
00:20:10,577 --> 00:20:11,977
I don't want to be dramatic about it
452
00:20:11,978 --> 00:20:14,616
but I just feel I've got to
start standing up for myself.
453
00:20:14,617 --> 00:20:17,297
Enough is enough, okay?
I won't be walked over.
454
00:20:19,897 --> 00:20:21,374
What have you got to say about that?
455
00:20:21,992 --> 00:20:24,441
My first fight went
better than expected.
456
00:20:25,266 --> 00:20:26,496
Oh, did you win?
457
00:20:26,497 --> 00:20:28,055
No, I did not.
458
00:20:28,056 --> 00:20:29,655
No, of course you didn't.
459
00:20:29,656 --> 00:20:31,215
Yeah, of course not.
460
00:20:31,216 --> 00:20:32,416
What?
461
00:20:33,175 --> 00:20:35,336
Rose, I think I should just move out.
462
00:20:37,055 --> 00:20:38,495
Why would you do that?
463
00:20:38,496 --> 00:20:40,615
I just don't think we're
very good for each other.
464
00:20:42,015 --> 00:20:44,014
I didn't really want you to pay rent.
465
00:20:44,015 --> 00:20:45,174
I know.
466
00:20:45,175 --> 00:20:46,814
Where would you go?
467
00:20:46,815 --> 00:20:48,214
I'll think of something.
468
00:20:49,215 --> 00:20:51,613
Okay. It's good.
469
00:20:51,614 --> 00:20:53,534
If you want to go, you just go, then.
470
00:20:54,534 --> 00:20:57,494
I'm sure you'll easily find
someone much better than me.
471
00:21:06,373 --> 00:21:07,373
How was it?
472
00:21:07,374 --> 00:21:09,972
Yeah, well, so I've got
good news and bad news.
473
00:21:09,973 --> 00:21:12,652
The good news is,
neither of us have HIV.
474
00:21:12,653 --> 00:21:13,652
I want a second opinion.
475
00:21:13,653 --> 00:21:17,091
Ha-ha! The bad news is that he thinks
his grandma glows in the dark.
476
00:21:17,092 --> 00:21:18,771
That's a shame.
477
00:21:18,772 --> 00:21:19,772
So that's that done.
478
00:21:19,773 --> 00:21:22,610
But do you remember the boy who's
Aboriginal, which doesn't define him,
479
00:21:22,611 --> 00:21:24,571
but I just need, like, a very
quick way of letting you know
480
00:21:24,572 --> 00:21:25,930
which boy I'm talking about?
481
00:21:25,931 --> 00:21:28,051
We've been chatting,
I invited him out again,
482
00:21:28,052 --> 00:21:29,490
it's going very well, I think,
483
00:21:29,491 --> 00:21:32,650
and I feel very optimistic and
enthusiastic about the future.
484
00:21:32,651 --> 00:21:33,851
- Good.
- Great.
485
00:21:33,852 --> 00:21:36,171
That's him.
486
00:21:37,739 --> 00:21:39,451
He just wants to be friends. So...
487
00:21:40,730 --> 00:21:42,650
Oh, no! Why did I do that, Tom?
488
00:21:42,651 --> 00:21:44,809
No, I need my phone to be
capable of feeling joy!
489
00:21:44,810 --> 00:21:46,249
I'll get some rice!
490
00:21:55,369 --> 00:21:58,368
Hi, I'm Josh. I'm not here. I'm sorry.
Leave a message. Goodbye.
491
00:21:59,570 --> 00:22:01,848
I don't want to do this via voice-mail.
492
00:22:01,849 --> 00:22:04,808
It just seems so harsh
saying this like this.
493
00:22:04,809 --> 00:22:08,688
But... okay, Josh...
494
00:22:08,689 --> 00:22:11,048
I've started seeing someone else.
495
00:22:12,168 --> 00:22:14,327
It's new but I like it.
496
00:22:14,328 --> 00:22:16,768
I just... I thought you deserve to know.
497
00:22:20,488 --> 00:22:23,407
Guys! I'm sick of this game.
498
00:22:23,408 --> 00:22:26,926
I know it was my idea but
sometimes I have bad ideas.
499
00:22:26,927 --> 00:22:28,527
I don't like seeking.
500
00:22:29,247 --> 00:22:31,206
I'm lonely!
501
00:22:31,207 --> 00:22:32,367
Guys!
502
00:22:32,368 --> 00:22:35,646
Guys!
503
00:22:38,007 --> 00:22:39,725
Oh, my God.
504
00:22:39,726 --> 00:22:42,845
There's someone at the door.
I don't want to answer it!
505
00:22:50,885 --> 00:22:52,365
- Hi, Rose.
- Oh, where's Josh?
506
00:22:52,366 --> 00:22:54,044
Why isn't he answering his phone?
507
00:22:54,045 --> 00:22:56,204
I don't know where he is.
I don't know where anyone is.
508
00:22:56,205 --> 00:22:58,684
- Oh, Josh!
- Josh!
509
00:22:58,685 --> 00:23:00,564
You'd better come out now.
510
00:23:00,565 --> 00:23:02,843
Your mum's here and she is very upset
511
00:23:02,844 --> 00:23:04,604
that you've been ignoring her calls.
512
00:23:05,844 --> 00:23:06,964
I already looked in there.
513
00:23:06,965 --> 00:23:08,683
Where is he? What's he doing?
514
00:23:08,684 --> 00:23:12,723
Well, we're playing hide-and-seek,
but they take it too seriously!
515
00:23:12,724 --> 00:23:15,683
Now I don't even know
if it's fun anymore.
516
00:23:15,684 --> 00:23:17,242
That's ridiculous.
517
00:23:17,243 --> 00:23:22,602
I tried to talk to Hannah like
you said, and she left, Joshua!
518
00:23:22,603 --> 00:23:24,442
Yeah, Joshua!
519
00:23:24,443 --> 00:23:28,361
I'm going to give you a count
of one to five and then...
520
00:23:28,362 --> 00:23:29,361
One!
521
00:23:29,362 --> 00:23:30,363
This is exciting.
522
00:23:30,364 --> 00:23:32,121
- What happens if you get to five?
- Two!
523
00:23:32,122 --> 00:23:36,361
I tell everybody how much
he loved holding my hand
524
00:23:36,362 --> 00:23:38,321
when he was a teenager.
525
00:23:38,322 --> 00:23:39,619
Three!
526
00:23:40,401 --> 00:23:41,962
Four!
527
00:23:43,561 --> 00:23:44,882
Five!
528
00:23:53,561 --> 00:23:55,079
My phone broke.
529
00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:58,199
That is such a good hiding spot.
530
00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:00,879
I didn't want her to leave, Josh.
531
00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:02,359
I wanted her to change.
532
00:24:02,360 --> 00:24:04,239
Now, what the hell am
I supposed to do now?
533
00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:05,240
I don't know.
534
00:24:05,241 --> 00:24:07,039
Why did you tell me to talk to her?
535
00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:09,478
I don't know. It's just what
people say to do, isn't it?
536
00:24:09,479 --> 00:24:11,680
- Get out of there.
- Okay.
537
00:24:14,759 --> 00:24:16,838
- What?
- Well, I'm stuck, aren't I?
538
00:24:16,839 --> 00:24:19,838
- You are not.
- I am! I'm very stuck.
539
00:24:19,839 --> 00:24:23,028
No, you're just saying that so you can
divert attention from me. Now get out!
540
00:24:23,030 --> 00:24:27,117
Mum, sometimes I wonder if I'll ever do
anything that'll make you proud of me.
541
00:24:27,118 --> 00:24:28,677
I win!
542
00:24:28,678 --> 00:24:29,821
Tom!37641
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