0 00:00:06,399 --> 00:00:07,600 Josh. 1 00:00:09,705 --> 00:00:12,624 Fuck. No, no, no, no, no! 2 00:00:12,626 --> 00:00:13,785 Beluga caviar? 3 00:00:13,786 --> 00:00:14,787 Fuck! 4 00:00:14,788 --> 00:00:17,065 All of a sudden I'm housemates with Vladimir Putin. 5 00:00:18,067 --> 00:00:19,585 Arnold got that for me for Valentine's Day. 6 00:00:19,586 --> 00:00:21,104 Oh, it expired on Sunday. 7 00:00:21,105 --> 00:00:22,425 Shit. 8 00:00:22,426 --> 00:00:23,825 How much is that? 9 00:00:23,826 --> 00:00:27,384 - Like, $150. - $150? 10 00:00:27,385 --> 00:00:29,904 How did you forget to eat $150 worth of caviar? 11 00:00:29,905 --> 00:00:31,904 Well, Tom, we were waiting for the perfect moment 12 00:00:31,905 --> 00:00:33,264 but then it never came. 13 00:00:33,265 --> 00:00:34,265 Well, that's poetic. 14 00:00:34,266 --> 00:00:35,505 Maybe it's still good? 15 00:00:38,904 --> 00:00:40,824 That was fucking creepy. 16 00:00:40,825 --> 00:00:42,491 That's how you taste caviar! 17 00:00:44,664 --> 00:00:46,023 Is it okay to eat? 18 00:00:46,024 --> 00:00:48,183 I don't know. I've never had it before and it tastes sort of off 19 00:00:48,184 --> 00:00:49,184 but, like, in a good way. 20 00:00:49,185 --> 00:00:51,062 - Yeah, I'm into it. - 'Cause it tastes like pussy? 21 00:00:51,063 --> 00:00:52,064 Mm. 22 00:00:52,065 --> 00:00:56,902 If that's what you taste like then I just... you need to change something. 23 00:00:56,903 --> 00:00:58,783 Hey, do you know what I think you'd really love? 24 00:00:58,784 --> 00:01:02,742 Like, a really pretty guy with, like, cute curly hair, 25 00:01:02,743 --> 00:01:04,622 and a very good BMI, like, 26 00:01:04,623 --> 00:01:06,862 - does lots of nice compliments... - Oh, yeah? 27 00:01:06,863 --> 00:01:10,502 Very smart and does surprisingly romantic things 28 00:01:10,503 --> 00:01:12,461 and maybe he's got a bit of money but he's not arrogant. 29 00:01:12,462 --> 00:01:14,341 - Yeah, Arnold is quite good. Yep. - Yeah. 30 00:01:14,342 --> 00:01:16,221 But you just can't make yourself love him. 31 00:01:16,222 --> 00:01:17,382 Not anymore. 32 00:01:17,383 --> 00:01:20,260 For me, the question here is, what's wrong with you? 33 00:01:20,261 --> 00:01:21,462 Face. 34 00:01:24,021 --> 00:01:25,500 Is that a speck of mould? 35 00:01:25,501 --> 00:01:26,661 I don't know. 36 00:01:26,662 --> 00:01:28,060 Just eat around it. 37 00:01:28,061 --> 00:01:29,061 I love you. 38 00:01:29,062 --> 00:01:32,701 I am feeling optimistic and enthusiastic about my dating future. 39 00:01:59,779 --> 00:02:01,617 Don't look at me! Don't look at me! 40 00:02:06,618 --> 00:02:09,256 A bus is here. I mean, this just must be him. 41 00:02:09,257 --> 00:02:12,056 Why is Tom still talking to the real estate agent? 42 00:02:12,057 --> 00:02:15,136 Is it a girl with low self-esteem? 43 00:02:15,137 --> 00:02:17,738 This house is so ugly and he's pretending it isn't. 44 00:02:20,097 --> 00:02:21,456 No one got out. 45 00:02:21,457 --> 00:02:23,137 Why did no one get out? 46 00:02:27,256 --> 00:02:29,615 He just messaged and said that he's ten minutes away. 47 00:02:29,616 --> 00:02:30,855 He's said that quite a lot. 48 00:02:30,856 --> 00:02:32,495 Many times. 49 00:02:32,496 --> 00:02:36,095 Oh, no, Ella, he just said he's in school uniform and hopes that's okay. 50 00:02:36,096 --> 00:02:37,096 Is that okay? 51 00:02:37,097 --> 00:02:38,534 Josh, how old is this boy? 52 00:02:38,535 --> 00:02:40,295 I don't know, it doesn't say on his profile. 53 00:02:40,296 --> 00:02:42,894 I mean, he looks adult. I promise he looks like an adult. 54 00:02:42,895 --> 00:02:44,494 - Ask him. - Yeah. 55 00:02:44,495 --> 00:02:46,054 He's 18. 56 00:02:46,055 --> 00:02:47,774 That's quite young. Who do you think you are? 57 00:02:47,775 --> 00:02:50,133 Tom? 58 00:02:50,134 --> 00:02:52,534 Oh, God. 59 00:02:52,535 --> 00:02:53,933 What? 60 00:02:53,934 --> 00:02:55,893 He wants me to pee on him. 61 00:02:55,894 --> 00:02:57,094 Will you pee on him? 62 00:02:57,095 --> 00:02:58,614 I don't know, it just seems I'm a bit young 63 00:02:58,615 --> 00:03:01,173 to start experimenting that hard with my sex life. 64 00:03:01,174 --> 00:03:02,294 He's 18. 65 00:03:02,295 --> 00:03:04,812 Kids these days! Am I right? 66 00:03:04,813 --> 00:03:07,732 So many people just love being peed on. 67 00:03:08,319 --> 00:03:10,093 He says he won't come if I don't pee on him. 68 00:03:10,094 --> 00:03:12,772 He hasn't left yet? What's going on? 69 00:03:12,773 --> 00:03:15,333 Should I just pee on him? I mean, I've already come this far. 70 00:03:17,213 --> 00:03:18,333 Yeah, I vote yes. 71 00:03:18,334 --> 00:03:20,131 All right, I'm saying yes. 72 00:03:20,132 --> 00:03:22,131 You said I should! 73 00:03:22,132 --> 00:03:23,801 I'm not sure that I thought it through! 74 00:03:24,978 --> 00:03:27,771 Oh, no, he just said he's in a wheelchair and he hopes that's okay. 75 00:03:27,772 --> 00:03:29,851 Oh, no... 76 00:03:29,852 --> 00:03:30,851 Oh, no. 77 00:03:30,852 --> 00:03:32,651 You know what's happening here, don't you? 78 00:03:32,652 --> 00:03:34,730 Yeah, this boy doesn't exist. 79 00:03:34,731 --> 00:03:35,732 You're talking to 80 00:03:35,733 --> 00:03:37,610 perhaps an anonymous group of friends at a party 81 00:03:37,611 --> 00:03:42,090 and they are laughing at you for agreeing to pee on a school kid. 82 00:03:42,091 --> 00:03:43,091 Yep. 83 00:03:43,092 --> 00:03:44,930 How are you feeling? 84 00:03:44,931 --> 00:03:48,609 I'm feeling like I learnt a lot about myself and the world. 85 00:03:48,610 --> 00:03:51,489 Maybe you guys want to hang out with me, yeah? 86 00:03:51,490 --> 00:03:55,850 Oh, I wish. We've got so many more houses to look at. 87 00:04:11,049 --> 00:04:12,608 What's all this, then? 88 00:04:13,609 --> 00:04:15,287 I've taken up boxing training. 89 00:04:15,288 --> 00:04:16,728 She's just showing off. 90 00:04:16,729 --> 00:04:19,367 You're gonna be a million dollar baby. 91 00:04:19,368 --> 00:04:23,167 Million dollar baby was thin and fit. 92 00:04:23,168 --> 00:04:25,047 And rich and dead. 93 00:04:25,048 --> 00:04:26,566 See, some women can have it all. 94 00:04:26,567 --> 00:04:28,807 Sounds fun. Maybe I'll join you. Maybe I'll do some boxing. 95 00:04:28,808 --> 00:04:32,966 No son of mine is going to be hitting people for fun, Josh. 96 00:04:32,967 --> 00:04:34,646 I'll only hit bad guys. 97 00:04:34,647 --> 00:04:36,046 Like robbers, etc. 98 00:04:36,047 --> 00:04:40,126 Why can't you ever take my side? 99 00:04:40,127 --> 00:04:42,926 I mean, I take your side plenty, don't I? 100 00:04:42,927 --> 00:04:45,725 You liked boxing yesterday. You should have been here then. 101 00:04:45,726 --> 00:04:47,953 You would've been on her side. Maybe come back tomorrow? 102 00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:50,325 Stop talking about me as though I'm not even here! 103 00:04:50,326 --> 00:04:52,445 Hello! Am I here? 104 00:04:52,446 --> 00:04:54,085 Can anybody hear me? 105 00:04:54,086 --> 00:04:55,804 Mum, we're just playing, okay. Calm down. 106 00:04:55,805 --> 00:04:57,525 Hannah, go to your room. 107 00:04:57,526 --> 00:04:59,260 I've been grounded again. 108 00:05:00,398 --> 00:05:02,044 You can go too, Josh. 109 00:05:02,758 --> 00:05:04,203 Okay, see ya. 110 00:05:04,204 --> 00:05:06,244 - See ya, little munchkin. - Oh, piss off! 111 00:05:06,245 --> 00:05:07,884 - She's a little munchkin. - Piss off! 112 00:05:10,724 --> 00:05:11,924 Okay. 113 00:05:13,004 --> 00:05:15,243 This is me when I have my plastic surgery. 114 00:05:15,244 --> 00:05:17,123 Looks good, better. 115 00:05:17,124 --> 00:05:19,923 When are you back so we can do sex things? 116 00:05:19,924 --> 00:05:22,802 Two weeks, but we can't do sex things. 117 00:05:22,803 --> 00:05:25,722 Why not? Why can't we do sex things? 118 00:05:25,723 --> 00:05:27,283 I have a girlfriend now. 119 00:05:28,283 --> 00:05:29,323 A girlfriend? 120 00:05:29,324 --> 00:05:31,602 Yeah. A girlfriend. 121 00:05:31,930 --> 00:05:33,729 And you do sex with her? 122 00:05:34,722 --> 00:05:35,923 Yes. 123 00:05:36,722 --> 00:05:39,080 Well, that's cool, isn't it? 124 00:05:39,682 --> 00:05:41,002 Very modern. 125 00:05:43,522 --> 00:05:45,320 Did you just burp? 126 00:05:45,321 --> 00:05:46,641 Yeah. 127 00:05:46,642 --> 00:05:48,640 I'm sick of sexuality being fluid. 128 00:05:48,641 --> 00:05:50,920 I miss the days when your gays were gay, your straights were straight 129 00:05:50,921 --> 00:05:52,386 and your bisexuals were lying. 130 00:05:56,121 --> 00:05:59,223 Last time I tried to fly it was so embarrassing. 131 00:06:00,039 --> 00:06:01,960 I got so scared when we hit a bit of turbulence 132 00:06:01,961 --> 00:06:04,239 and I accidentally grabbed the hand of the man next to me. 133 00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:06,471 There isn't anywhere safer than in a plane. 134 00:06:06,473 --> 00:06:08,356 I mean, it's such a controlled environment. 135 00:06:08,358 --> 00:06:10,519 Like, there's such a bigger chance that I murder you right now 136 00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:11,918 than you'll die in a plane crash. 137 00:06:11,919 --> 00:06:12,847 Don't you think? 138 00:06:13,643 --> 00:06:15,959 I have never seen anyone more scared of flying than me. 139 00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:19,118 I'm such a baby about it. It's so embarrassing. 140 00:06:19,119 --> 00:06:21,518 Just, what I think, I think the key is, right, 141 00:06:21,519 --> 00:06:23,518 is to just stop being afraid of death altogether. 142 00:06:23,519 --> 00:06:26,317 Don't you think it's a little bit arrogant to be scared of dying? 143 00:06:26,318 --> 00:06:28,798 Like, in the grand scheme of things, like the billions people 144 00:06:28,799 --> 00:06:31,877 and the millions of years and the stardust and the mammoths, 145 00:06:31,878 --> 00:06:33,357 and... Taylor Swift, 146 00:06:33,358 --> 00:06:37,038 I dunno, it just seems like... like you don't really matter that much. 147 00:06:38,037 --> 00:06:39,064 You know? 148 00:06:39,558 --> 00:06:41,036 Wow, I'm cured. 149 00:06:41,037 --> 00:06:43,876 Yeah, I fixed it. 150 00:06:43,877 --> 00:06:45,597 - He cured me, Bastion. - Yeah. 151 00:06:49,157 --> 00:06:51,037 I'm sorry. 152 00:06:53,036 --> 00:06:55,155 Hey, Ma. I'm sorry, I can't really talk. 153 00:06:55,156 --> 00:06:56,795 Josh, Hannah has been ignoring me. 154 00:06:56,796 --> 00:07:01,115 She hasn't spoken to me for days and I didn't do anything at all. 155 00:07:01,116 --> 00:07:02,955 She's just being so mean to me. 156 00:07:02,956 --> 00:07:05,435 I'm sorry, Mum. I'm on a date and I have to go. 157 00:07:05,436 --> 00:07:06,834 You aren't on a date. 158 00:07:06,835 --> 00:07:07,995 I am on a date. 159 00:07:07,996 --> 00:07:09,675 No, you're just trying to get rid of me. 160 00:07:09,676 --> 00:07:11,754 Is it really so hard for you to believe that I'm on a date? 161 00:07:11,755 --> 00:07:13,354 You are lying, Joshua. 162 00:07:13,355 --> 00:07:14,834 I know when you're lying. I'm your mother. 163 00:07:14,835 --> 00:07:16,154 You're just trying to get rid of me. 164 00:07:16,155 --> 00:07:17,954 Can you please tell my mother you exist? 165 00:07:17,955 --> 00:07:19,153 I exist. 166 00:07:19,154 --> 00:07:20,946 - Oh, hello. - Okay? 167 00:07:20,948 --> 00:07:22,347 Oh, fine! 168 00:07:29,681 --> 00:07:31,121 Do you want to punch? 169 00:07:32,114 --> 00:07:33,792 The bag. 170 00:07:33,793 --> 00:07:36,673 Not me. Don't punch me. 171 00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:49,872 You have a lot of big books, you must be pretty smart. 172 00:07:49,873 --> 00:07:51,231 I'm a podiatrist. 173 00:07:51,232 --> 00:07:53,392 I don't know why I said that about the books. Okay, I have books. 174 00:07:53,393 --> 00:07:55,271 I want you to know that. Like, it's not weird to me. 175 00:07:55,272 --> 00:07:56,471 Like, I'm smart. 176 00:07:56,472 --> 00:07:59,151 - Yeah. - Yeah, Okay, now we're both smart. 177 00:07:59,152 --> 00:08:00,471 Thank you. 178 00:08:00,472 --> 00:08:02,191 I probably have nicer feet, though. 179 00:08:02,192 --> 00:08:04,151 I mean, I used to have real bad ingrown toenails 180 00:08:04,152 --> 00:08:05,791 but they're fine now. 181 00:08:07,847 --> 00:08:09,710 Is... is that a good anecdote for you? 182 00:08:09,711 --> 00:08:11,309 Is that the kind of anecdote you like to hear? 183 00:08:11,310 --> 00:08:13,591 It was until you said you're okay now. 184 00:08:15,431 --> 00:08:17,550 There's no money in healthy toenails. 185 00:08:23,790 --> 00:08:25,270 You're a good kisser. 186 00:08:26,269 --> 00:08:29,268 Don't really know what that means. 187 00:08:29,269 --> 00:08:30,350 Just give me a minute. 188 00:08:30,351 --> 00:08:32,228 I like to smoke a bit before sex. 189 00:08:32,229 --> 00:08:33,229 Do you want some? 190 00:08:33,230 --> 00:08:35,109 No, thank you. 191 00:08:39,669 --> 00:08:40,868 Is that meth? 192 00:08:41,789 --> 00:08:43,867 Yeah. I just have a little bit. 193 00:08:43,868 --> 00:08:45,117 Sure, of course. 194 00:08:46,069 --> 00:08:48,028 It's Tuesday night, after all. 195 00:08:49,588 --> 00:08:51,747 He smoked meth. Actual meth. 196 00:08:51,748 --> 00:08:54,707 Yep. He's a podiatrist and he had a terrarium 197 00:08:54,708 --> 00:08:57,786 and it tricked me into thinking that it's okay to smoke meth. 198 00:08:57,787 --> 00:08:59,066 What did you do? 199 00:08:59,067 --> 00:09:03,946 Uh, well, I waited for him to finish smoking his meth and then we had sex, 200 00:09:03,947 --> 00:09:07,626 which... I would've thought that I wouldn't have had sex with someone 201 00:09:07,627 --> 00:09:10,705 after they smoked meth, but no, there I was doing it. 202 00:09:10,707 --> 00:09:13,426 Turns out I am surprisingly easygoing. 203 00:09:13,428 --> 00:09:14,985 Could you get me a glass of water? 204 00:09:14,986 --> 00:09:16,186 Yeah. 205 00:09:17,786 --> 00:09:19,705 You're Aboriginal, yeah? 206 00:09:19,706 --> 00:09:21,384 I'm Wurundjeri on my mum's side. 207 00:09:21,385 --> 00:09:22,665 That's cool. 208 00:09:22,666 --> 00:09:23,746 Is it cool, is it? 209 00:09:23,748 --> 00:09:25,823 Very cool, very chic. I'm stuck being white. 210 00:09:25,825 --> 00:09:28,584 - White people are the worst. - Some of my best friends are white. 211 00:09:28,585 --> 00:09:29,585 Well, all of mine are. 212 00:09:29,586 --> 00:09:31,605 All right, it's not a competition. 213 00:09:32,426 --> 00:09:36,063 I feel very awkward and weird about how horrible we've been. 214 00:09:36,064 --> 00:09:38,703 Really, I do. I feel quite anxious talking about it. 215 00:09:38,704 --> 00:09:41,384 I'm sorry you feel anxious. I shouldn't have brought it up. 216 00:09:41,385 --> 00:09:43,943 So we went quite hard on the murder and the rape 217 00:09:43,944 --> 00:09:46,103 - and the oppression thing, didn't we? - Yep. 218 00:09:46,104 --> 00:09:48,222 Not me. I didn't. I wouldn't. 219 00:09:48,223 --> 00:09:50,342 - I would never, I promise. - Oh, thank you. I appreciate that. 220 00:09:50,343 --> 00:09:51,343 Yeah. 221 00:09:51,344 --> 00:09:56,143 My great-granddad though, whoa. I mean, he probably would have. 222 00:09:56,144 --> 00:09:59,887 You know, he would be furious to see me here on a date with you. 223 00:09:59,889 --> 00:10:01,222 It's presumptuous to call this a date. 224 00:10:01,223 --> 00:10:02,221 It's sort of a date. 225 00:10:02,222 --> 00:10:03,222 Is it a date, 226 00:10:03,223 --> 00:10:05,461 or the world's worst application for Young Australian of the Year? 227 00:10:05,462 --> 00:10:07,502 I mean, we didn't let Aboriginal people go to school 228 00:10:07,503 --> 00:10:09,181 until, like, 30 years ago. 229 00:10:09,182 --> 00:10:11,581 Yep. I know. I guarantee you I know all about this. 230 00:10:11,582 --> 00:10:13,700 Fuck, that's recent, you know what I mean? 231 00:10:13,701 --> 00:10:16,541 Like, that's very... Fuck, shit, that's like your parents' generation, 232 00:10:16,542 --> 00:10:17,541 you know? 233 00:10:17,542 --> 00:10:19,860 And then you get all these white people, who are not me, 234 00:10:19,861 --> 00:10:21,860 and they're furious about these programs 235 00:10:21,861 --> 00:10:24,380 that are just aimed at helping Aboriginal communities catch up, 236 00:10:24,381 --> 00:10:25,659 and it's just very, like... 237 00:10:25,660 --> 00:10:28,060 It's all very... just a bit shit, you know? 238 00:10:28,061 --> 00:10:31,379 Like, everyone's just still so racist. 239 00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:33,420 Not me, obviously. 240 00:10:33,421 --> 00:10:34,939 Because I am here on a date with you. 241 00:10:34,940 --> 00:10:37,419 - Thank heavens. - A lucky boy. 242 00:10:40,019 --> 00:10:42,659 I mean, you can't hail a taxi, can you? 243 00:10:42,660 --> 00:10:45,619 Like, taxis aren't stopping for Aboriginal people, are they? 244 00:10:45,620 --> 00:10:48,579 Oh, you're probably fine. I mean, you're so tidy. 245 00:10:48,580 --> 00:10:50,978 If you go out in an unironed shirt, then I just... 246 00:10:50,979 --> 00:10:54,058 I mean, have you ever successfully hailed a taxi in an unironed shirt? 247 00:10:54,059 --> 00:10:56,378 Oh, I don't go out in unironed shirts. 248 00:10:56,379 --> 00:10:57,379 Okay. 249 00:10:57,380 --> 00:10:58,937 I mean, taxis, they just stop for me. 250 00:10:58,938 --> 00:11:00,457 You know, sorry, but they do. They just stop. 251 00:11:00,458 --> 00:11:01,578 There's nothing I can do about it. 252 00:11:01,579 --> 00:11:03,017 Even if I don't iron, they just stop for me. 253 00:11:03,018 --> 00:11:05,337 You keep going on about this, I'm not going to have sex with you. 254 00:11:05,338 --> 00:11:08,097 Are you... are you maybe gonna have sex with me? 255 00:11:08,098 --> 00:11:09,336 I've come this far. 256 00:11:09,337 --> 00:11:11,937 No. I don't think you should, to be honest. 257 00:11:11,938 --> 00:11:14,257 I mean, haven't my people already put you through enough? 258 00:11:28,576 --> 00:11:30,695 He gave me a Hickey. Look at it. 259 00:11:30,696 --> 00:11:31,696 Urgh! 260 00:11:31,697 --> 00:11:33,375 Yeah. Look what he did to me. 261 00:11:33,376 --> 00:11:35,654 That is so creepy. That is actually so creepy. 262 00:11:35,655 --> 00:11:37,095 He's trying to mark you. 263 00:11:37,096 --> 00:11:39,454 I mean, I can't go and see Arnold with a Hickey. 264 00:11:39,455 --> 00:11:40,855 Temporary tattoo. 265 00:11:40,857 --> 00:11:42,534 I've got one of a scorpion. 266 00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:44,774 How do I convince him I wanted a tattoo of a scorpion? 267 00:11:44,775 --> 00:11:45,815 Say a kid did it. 268 00:11:45,816 --> 00:11:48,414 What? That is just the stupid... 269 00:11:48,415 --> 00:11:51,235 That is so unbelievable. 270 00:11:52,455 --> 00:11:53,654 You could just wear a scarf. 271 00:11:53,655 --> 00:11:56,173 Yeah, I thought about that, but then what if we get naked? 272 00:11:56,174 --> 00:11:57,773 You're gonna get naked with Arnold? 273 00:11:57,774 --> 00:11:59,773 I really don't want to, but also I'm a very shit guy, 274 00:11:59,774 --> 00:12:02,372 and if he's standing there looking cute and he's forward enough, 275 00:12:02,373 --> 00:12:03,653 then of course I will. 276 00:12:03,654 --> 00:12:05,732 Of course, of course. 277 00:12:05,733 --> 00:12:09,133 Scratch it with a stick so it looks like you fell out of a tree? 278 00:12:10,133 --> 00:12:12,854 Oh, um... 279 00:12:13,726 --> 00:12:16,012 I mean, I don't like the idea of the pain, 280 00:12:16,013 --> 00:12:19,252 but I do like in him thinking that I'm happy enough to climb trees. 281 00:12:19,253 --> 00:12:21,972 - Yeah! - Google says to use toothpaste. 282 00:12:21,973 --> 00:12:25,011 No, that's not a true thing. Toothpaste isn't magic. 283 00:12:25,012 --> 00:12:26,012 You could just try it. 284 00:12:26,013 --> 00:12:27,291 Then I won't be able to try the stick. 285 00:12:27,292 --> 00:12:28,006 Why? 286 00:12:28,008 --> 00:12:29,531 Because if I have to wait till tomorrow 287 00:12:29,532 --> 00:12:30,532 to see if the toothpaste works 288 00:12:30,533 --> 00:12:33,052 the scratch will be too fresh to have believably bruised. 289 00:12:36,251 --> 00:12:40,290 I mean, I don't think I can convince him that I wanted to climb a tree. 290 00:12:40,291 --> 00:12:42,290 - Is it there? - Yep. 291 00:12:42,291 --> 00:12:43,529 Just quiet. 292 00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:46,010 Ahhhhh! 293 00:12:47,290 --> 00:12:49,138 - How is it? - Oh, yeah. 294 00:12:49,690 --> 00:12:50,969 - It's good. - Yeah, it's good. 295 00:12:50,970 --> 00:12:53,010 This has been such a productive day. 296 00:12:54,290 --> 00:12:57,488 Who gave you a Hickey? And why do you have a scratch on your neck? 297 00:12:57,489 --> 00:12:58,569 I've been doing mischief. 298 00:12:58,570 --> 00:13:01,610 - Oooh! - Are you dating already? 299 00:13:01,612 --> 00:13:02,570 Is he fun? 300 00:13:02,572 --> 00:13:05,295 I feel optimistic and enthusiastic about the future. 301 00:13:05,297 --> 00:13:07,328 What's the Arnold status? 302 00:13:07,330 --> 00:13:09,207 He was meant to come over today but he didn't show up. 303 00:13:09,208 --> 00:13:11,987 - Oh, did he say why? - He said something came up. 304 00:13:11,989 --> 00:13:13,327 Oh, that's vague. 305 00:13:13,328 --> 00:13:14,529 Yeah, and that's his whole shtick. 306 00:13:14,530 --> 00:13:15,887 Well, it's a shit shtick. 307 00:13:15,888 --> 00:13:18,847 Jeez, I'm getting sick of this mysterious business he's doing. 308 00:13:18,848 --> 00:13:20,937 You're not Willy Wonka, Arnold! 309 00:13:21,431 --> 00:13:23,606 Grow up and pull your bloody head in. 310 00:13:23,607 --> 00:13:26,127 I know you've got mental issues, but Christ, boy, 311 00:13:26,128 --> 00:13:28,326 you can't play with people willy-nilly. 312 00:13:28,327 --> 00:13:30,846 Because he's not Willy Wonka? 313 00:13:30,847 --> 00:13:34,086 Yeah, he can't play willy-nilly because he's not Willy Wonka, yes. 314 00:13:34,087 --> 00:13:36,806 But he look like Willy Wonka, right? 315 00:13:36,807 --> 00:13:38,405 I've seen him in velvet pants. 316 00:13:38,406 --> 00:13:41,485 - He is Willy Wonka! - Yeah. 317 00:13:41,486 --> 00:13:44,165 Don't try and Oompa-Loompa your way out of this one, Wonka. 318 00:13:44,166 --> 00:13:46,726 - This is Josh's heart! - Mm-hm! 319 00:13:52,526 --> 00:13:53,884 Hannah Banana. 320 00:13:53,885 --> 00:13:56,404 Your mum just ran away from home, Josh. 321 00:13:56,405 --> 00:13:57,405 When? 322 00:13:57,406 --> 00:13:59,219 About 12 seconds ago. 323 00:14:00,498 --> 00:14:02,439 Do you think she's thinking of killing herself? 324 00:14:02,441 --> 00:14:04,603 No. I mean, she packed bags. 325 00:14:04,604 --> 00:14:06,644 Do you think she's expecting to get into heaven? 326 00:14:06,645 --> 00:14:09,203 Okay. What happened? 327 00:14:09,204 --> 00:14:10,205 Oh, you know. 328 00:14:10,206 --> 00:14:12,843 She was just getting really intense and I told her to piss off, 329 00:14:12,844 --> 00:14:14,323 but I didn't mean out of the house. 330 00:14:14,324 --> 00:14:16,282 I just wanted her out of my knee circle. 331 00:14:16,283 --> 00:14:17,723 Okay. Cool. I'll call her and find her. 332 00:14:17,724 --> 00:14:19,882 Thanks for calling and letting me know. Seriously, okay. Thanks. 333 00:14:19,883 --> 00:14:22,522 - Bye. - Okay, bye. Can you please pull over? 334 00:14:22,523 --> 00:14:24,162 Sure. Is everything okay? 335 00:14:24,163 --> 00:14:26,442 I think it will be. Do you? 336 00:14:26,443 --> 00:14:27,643 Oh, I think so. 337 00:14:28,883 --> 00:14:30,083 Hi, Ma. 338 00:14:40,802 --> 00:14:42,282 Thank you! 339 00:14:44,402 --> 00:14:45,760 You're running away from home? 340 00:14:45,761 --> 00:14:46,961 Yes. 341 00:14:47,802 --> 00:14:48,881 Where to? 342 00:14:48,882 --> 00:14:50,921 I haven't decided yet. 343 00:14:50,922 --> 00:14:53,400 Okay. Hannah said you had a fight. 344 00:14:53,401 --> 00:14:57,040 I don't know why she's being so mean to me. 345 00:14:58,321 --> 00:14:59,560 Did you ask her? 346 00:14:59,561 --> 00:15:02,480 No, she didn't listen. She never speaks. 347 00:15:02,481 --> 00:15:04,959 She could basically be a Buddhist monk 348 00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:06,639 if she didn't drink so much chocolate milk. 349 00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:09,880 All right. Well, then... What's the plan now? 350 00:15:10,880 --> 00:15:14,319 I guess that I go home and I confront Hannah. 351 00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:15,918 No, please don't. Just not today. 352 00:15:15,919 --> 00:15:17,798 Just let things calm down a bit, maybe, yeah? 353 00:15:17,799 --> 00:15:20,397 Okay. I won't talk to her, then. 354 00:15:20,398 --> 00:15:23,198 No... obviously you should talk to her, just maybe not today. 355 00:15:23,199 --> 00:15:24,599 Fine, fine! 356 00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:28,038 Do you want to go and do something fun? 357 00:15:29,278 --> 00:15:31,117 No. No... 358 00:15:31,118 --> 00:15:33,078 I've worn myself out. 359 00:15:35,758 --> 00:15:38,036 - I feel quite silly. - Yep. 360 00:15:38,571 --> 00:15:40,398 Yeah, you've been a little silly. 361 00:15:49,676 --> 00:15:50,877 Just... 362 00:15:51,397 --> 00:15:52,397 Just, yeah... 363 00:16:09,075 --> 00:16:10,794 Boo. 364 00:16:10,795 --> 00:16:11,874 What? 365 00:16:11,875 --> 00:16:12,874 The condom broke. 366 00:16:12,875 --> 00:16:14,555 Oh, fuck. 367 00:16:16,074 --> 00:16:17,915 I hope you're not expecting child support. 368 00:16:20,154 --> 00:16:21,555 You look scared. 369 00:16:22,554 --> 00:16:25,553 Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's just a little scary, isn't it? 370 00:16:25,554 --> 00:16:27,437 It's okay. I just got tested. 371 00:16:29,674 --> 00:16:30,873 Let's have a shower. 372 00:16:31,754 --> 00:16:33,592 Do I have anything to worry about? 373 00:16:33,593 --> 00:16:35,032 Mm-mm. No, I'm very responsible. 374 00:16:35,033 --> 00:16:37,712 I'm like the Hermione of using condoms. 375 00:16:37,713 --> 00:16:40,192 Isn't Hermione's only downfall her hygiene? 376 00:16:40,193 --> 00:16:41,353 She's a hot mess. 377 00:16:41,855 --> 00:16:45,992 Okay. Um, when was the last time you got tested? 378 00:16:47,170 --> 00:16:49,912 Well, I don't really get tested, because I'm always so safe. 379 00:16:51,912 --> 00:16:53,112 Right. 380 00:16:53,911 --> 00:16:57,550 I lied because I wanted you to stop looking scared. 381 00:16:57,551 --> 00:17:00,391 But I told the truth this time, so I think it's okay. 382 00:17:01,391 --> 00:17:02,591 Yeah. 383 00:17:04,631 --> 00:17:06,430 Should we get PEP? Do we have to get PEP? 384 00:17:06,431 --> 00:17:07,471 What is PEP? 385 00:17:07,472 --> 00:17:09,270 Seriously? You don't know what PEP is? 386 00:17:09,271 --> 00:17:10,271 I feel judged. 387 00:17:10,272 --> 00:17:13,435 PEP is like the morning after pill, but for HIV. 388 00:17:13,437 --> 00:17:14,909 Okay, cool. Let's get PEP. 389 00:17:14,910 --> 00:17:18,189 It's not that easy, though, is it? 390 00:17:18,190 --> 00:17:20,589 It can make you sort of quite ill sometimes. 391 00:17:20,882 --> 00:17:21,882 Shit. 392 00:17:21,884 --> 00:17:23,148 It's fine. 393 00:17:23,149 --> 00:17:26,348 I had chronic fatigue for two years. I can handle it. 394 00:17:29,469 --> 00:17:31,948 I think we should go and get tested for HIV together instead. 395 00:17:31,949 --> 00:17:33,508 I know it's not perfect, but I think it's fine. 396 00:17:33,509 --> 00:17:34,907 I think it's acceptable risk. 397 00:17:34,908 --> 00:17:37,268 - Okay. - Okay. 398 00:17:37,269 --> 00:17:40,707 How many sexual partners have you had in the last six months? 399 00:17:40,708 --> 00:17:42,629 - Um... - Roughly? 400 00:17:43,668 --> 00:17:44,868 12. 401 00:17:46,308 --> 00:17:47,308 Is that a lot? 402 00:17:47,309 --> 00:17:50,987 How many of those partners did you do receptive anal sex with? 403 00:17:50,988 --> 00:17:53,146 Only, like, two. Yeah. 404 00:17:53,147 --> 00:17:55,726 I know I seem really bottomy, but actually I really don't like it. 405 00:17:55,728 --> 00:17:58,066 How many have you had penetrative anal sex with? 406 00:17:58,067 --> 00:17:59,267 10. 407 00:18:00,147 --> 00:18:01,766 And how many were just oral? 408 00:18:01,768 --> 00:18:03,066 Oh, we're including just oral? 409 00:18:03,067 --> 00:18:05,346 I didn't know we were including just oral, I'm sorry. 410 00:18:05,347 --> 00:18:08,946 Um... Then it's like 16, I think. Is that a lot? 411 00:18:08,947 --> 00:18:11,105 I mean, 16, that seems like a lot, doesn't it? 412 00:18:11,106 --> 00:18:13,745 I'm just trying to, like, get myself out there, you know? 413 00:18:13,746 --> 00:18:16,705 Just trying to meet people and exist in the world. 414 00:18:16,706 --> 00:18:18,345 You know what I mean? 415 00:18:18,346 --> 00:18:21,025 - Just trying to live. - Mm-hm. 416 00:18:21,026 --> 00:18:22,545 You don't care. 417 00:18:31,345 --> 00:18:33,664 That should take about 20 minutes. 418 00:18:40,024 --> 00:18:41,982 Hey, do you want to hear something interesting? 419 00:18:41,983 --> 00:18:43,983 Gosh, you've hyped it up, haven't you? 420 00:18:44,780 --> 00:18:46,743 Last time I was at the hospital my gran died. 421 00:18:48,023 --> 00:18:49,302 Sorry. 422 00:18:49,303 --> 00:18:51,782 Awkward for you. 423 00:18:51,783 --> 00:18:53,382 It's fine. 424 00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:55,822 So it was all very sad, and we left the room. 425 00:18:55,823 --> 00:18:58,822 Then as I was heading down the hall I see from her doorway 426 00:18:58,823 --> 00:19:01,382 that we've left the light on, and she hates wasting electricity. 427 00:19:01,383 --> 00:19:02,382 So I went to turn it off, 428 00:19:02,383 --> 00:19:04,902 but when I get there, the light isn't on. 429 00:19:04,903 --> 00:19:08,806 It's her body. Her body was actually emanating the glow. 430 00:19:09,479 --> 00:19:13,342 She was such a kind woman that her spirit was glowing with light. 431 00:19:15,301 --> 00:19:16,502 No. 432 00:19:17,821 --> 00:19:18,820 What do you mean, no? 433 00:19:18,821 --> 00:19:20,021 No. 434 00:19:20,501 --> 00:19:21,901 No, you're doing tricking. 435 00:19:22,461 --> 00:19:23,700 What are you talking about? 436 00:19:23,701 --> 00:19:25,819 I'm telling you a story about my dead grandma. 437 00:19:25,820 --> 00:19:27,620 No, no, no. You're doing, like... 438 00:19:27,621 --> 00:19:28,939 I know it's a gamble here, 439 00:19:28,940 --> 00:19:31,948 but you're doing, like... you're trying to embarrass me. 440 00:19:32,660 --> 00:19:33,860 Right? 441 00:19:34,300 --> 00:19:35,939 What the fuck is wrong with you? 442 00:19:35,940 --> 00:19:37,140 No. 443 00:19:38,340 --> 00:19:40,298 No, you're tricking, aren't you? 444 00:19:40,299 --> 00:19:41,499 No. 445 00:19:51,659 --> 00:19:53,739 Hannah, could you come in here? 446 00:19:56,370 --> 00:19:57,770 We have to talk. 447 00:20:00,579 --> 00:20:02,297 You need to start paying rent. 448 00:20:02,298 --> 00:20:05,337 Obviously you don't think of me as a friend. You're just using me. 449 00:20:05,338 --> 00:20:09,217 So either you contribute properly or you be a proper friend. 450 00:20:09,218 --> 00:20:10,576 The choice is yours. 451 00:20:10,577 --> 00:20:11,977 I don't want to be dramatic about it 452 00:20:11,978 --> 00:20:14,616 but I just feel I've got to start standing up for myself. 453 00:20:14,617 --> 00:20:17,297 Enough is enough, okay? I won't be walked over. 454 00:20:19,897 --> 00:20:21,374 What have you got to say about that? 455 00:20:21,992 --> 00:20:24,441 My first fight went better than expected. 456 00:20:25,266 --> 00:20:26,496 Oh, did you win? 457 00:20:26,497 --> 00:20:28,055 No, I did not. 458 00:20:28,056 --> 00:20:29,655 No, of course you didn't. 459 00:20:29,656 --> 00:20:31,215 Yeah, of course not. 460 00:20:31,216 --> 00:20:32,416 What? 461 00:20:33,175 --> 00:20:35,336 Rose, I think I should just move out. 462 00:20:37,055 --> 00:20:38,495 Why would you do that? 463 00:20:38,496 --> 00:20:40,615 I just don't think we're very good for each other. 464 00:20:42,015 --> 00:20:44,014 I didn't really want you to pay rent. 465 00:20:44,015 --> 00:20:45,174 I know. 466 00:20:45,175 --> 00:20:46,814 Where would you go? 467 00:20:46,815 --> 00:20:48,214 I'll think of something. 468 00:20:49,215 --> 00:20:51,613 Okay. It's good. 469 00:20:51,614 --> 00:20:53,534 If you want to go, you just go, then. 470 00:20:54,534 --> 00:20:57,494 I'm sure you'll easily find someone much better than me. 471 00:21:06,373 --> 00:21:07,373 How was it? 472 00:21:07,374 --> 00:21:09,972 Yeah, well, so I've got good news and bad news. 473 00:21:09,973 --> 00:21:12,652 The good news is, neither of us have HIV. 474 00:21:12,653 --> 00:21:13,652 I want a second opinion. 475 00:21:13,653 --> 00:21:17,091 Ha-ha! The bad news is that he thinks his grandma glows in the dark. 476 00:21:17,092 --> 00:21:18,771 That's a shame. 477 00:21:18,772 --> 00:21:19,772 So that's that done. 478 00:21:19,773 --> 00:21:22,610 But do you remember the boy who's Aboriginal, which doesn't define him, 479 00:21:22,611 --> 00:21:24,571 but I just need, like, a very quick way of letting you know 480 00:21:24,572 --> 00:21:25,930 which boy I'm talking about? 481 00:21:25,931 --> 00:21:28,051 We've been chatting, I invited him out again, 482 00:21:28,052 --> 00:21:29,490 it's going very well, I think, 483 00:21:29,491 --> 00:21:32,650 and I feel very optimistic and enthusiastic about the future. 484 00:21:32,651 --> 00:21:33,851 - Good. - Great. 485 00:21:33,852 --> 00:21:36,171 That's him. 486 00:21:37,739 --> 00:21:39,451 He just wants to be friends. So... 487 00:21:40,730 --> 00:21:42,650 Oh, no! Why did I do that, Tom? 488 00:21:42,651 --> 00:21:44,809 No, I need my phone to be capable of feeling joy! 489 00:21:44,810 --> 00:21:46,249 I'll get some rice! 490 00:21:55,369 --> 00:21:58,368 Hi, I'm Josh. I'm not here. I'm sorry. Leave a message. Goodbye. 491 00:21:59,570 --> 00:22:01,848 I don't want to do this via voice-mail. 492 00:22:01,849 --> 00:22:04,808 It just seems so harsh saying this like this. 493 00:22:04,809 --> 00:22:08,688 But... okay, Josh... 494 00:22:08,689 --> 00:22:11,048 I've started seeing someone else. 495 00:22:12,168 --> 00:22:14,327 It's new but I like it. 496 00:22:14,328 --> 00:22:16,768 I just... I thought you deserve to know. 497 00:22:20,488 --> 00:22:23,407 Guys! I'm sick of this game. 498 00:22:23,408 --> 00:22:26,926 I know it was my idea but sometimes I have bad ideas. 499 00:22:26,927 --> 00:22:28,527 I don't like seeking. 500 00:22:29,247 --> 00:22:31,206 I'm lonely! 501 00:22:31,207 --> 00:22:32,367 Guys! 502 00:22:32,368 --> 00:22:35,646 Guys! 503 00:22:38,007 --> 00:22:39,725 Oh, my God. 504 00:22:39,726 --> 00:22:42,845 There's someone at the door. I don't want to answer it! 505 00:22:50,885 --> 00:22:52,365 - Hi, Rose. - Oh, where's Josh? 506 00:22:52,366 --> 00:22:54,044 Why isn't he answering his phone? 507 00:22:54,045 --> 00:22:56,204 I don't know where he is. I don't know where anyone is. 508 00:22:56,205 --> 00:22:58,684 - Oh, Josh! - Josh! 509 00:22:58,685 --> 00:23:00,564 You'd better come out now. 510 00:23:00,565 --> 00:23:02,843 Your mum's here and she is very upset 511 00:23:02,844 --> 00:23:04,604 that you've been ignoring her calls. 512 00:23:05,844 --> 00:23:06,964 I already looked in there. 513 00:23:06,965 --> 00:23:08,683 Where is he? What's he doing? 514 00:23:08,684 --> 00:23:12,723 Well, we're playing hide-and-seek, but they take it too seriously! 515 00:23:12,724 --> 00:23:15,683 Now I don't even know if it's fun anymore. 516 00:23:15,684 --> 00:23:17,242 That's ridiculous. 517 00:23:17,243 --> 00:23:22,602 I tried to talk to Hannah like you said, and she left, Joshua! 518 00:23:22,603 --> 00:23:24,442 Yeah, Joshua! 519 00:23:24,443 --> 00:23:28,361 I'm going to give you a count of one to five and then... 520 00:23:28,362 --> 00:23:29,361 One! 521 00:23:29,362 --> 00:23:30,363 This is exciting. 522 00:23:30,364 --> 00:23:32,121 - What happens if you get to five? - Two! 523 00:23:32,122 --> 00:23:36,361 I tell everybody how much he loved holding my hand 524 00:23:36,362 --> 00:23:38,321 when he was a teenager. 525 00:23:38,322 --> 00:23:39,619 Three! 526 00:23:40,401 --> 00:23:41,962 Four! 527 00:23:43,561 --> 00:23:44,882 Five! 528 00:23:53,561 --> 00:23:55,079 My phone broke. 529 00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:58,199 That is such a good hiding spot. 530 00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:00,879 I didn't want her to leave, Josh. 531 00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:02,359 I wanted her to change. 532 00:24:02,360 --> 00:24:04,239 Now, what the hell am I supposed to do now? 533 00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:05,240 I don't know. 534 00:24:05,241 --> 00:24:07,039 Why did you tell me to talk to her? 535 00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:09,478 I don't know. It's just what people say to do, isn't it? 536 00:24:09,479 --> 00:24:11,680 - Get out of there. - Okay. 537 00:24:14,759 --> 00:24:16,838 - What? - Well, I'm stuck, aren't I? 538 00:24:16,839 --> 00:24:19,838 - You are not. - I am! I'm very stuck. 539 00:24:19,839 --> 00:24:23,028 No, you're just saying that so you can divert attention from me. Now get out! 540 00:24:23,030 --> 00:24:27,117 Mum, sometimes I wonder if I'll ever do anything that'll make you proud of me. 541 00:24:27,118 --> 00:24:28,677 I win! 542 00:24:28,678 --> 00:24:29,821 Tom!