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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:46,280 I'm so happy you picked this dress, Veruca! 2 00:00:46,360 --> 00:00:48,360 You look beautiful. Doesn't she? 3 00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:50,800 You guys, I'm getting married! 4 00:00:50,840 --> 00:00:52,600 I'm getting married! 5 00:00:53,280 --> 00:00:56,280 Not without your veil, you're not. 6 00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:57,720 Where is that bad boy? 7 00:00:57,800 --> 00:00:59,080 Oh, I think I left it upstairs. 8 00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:02,920 Don't worry. I'll get it, 9 00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:04,680 sis. 10 00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:11,360 She is so annoying. 11 00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:13,040 And so ugly. 12 00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:14,960 She looks like Karl Malden. 13 00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:16,280 I know, and she's gonna be 14 00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:18,360 my sister-in-law in an hour! 15 00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:20,160 COLBY: How are you gonna deal with that? 16 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:22,120 VERUCA: I'm just gonna lay down the law for Danny. 17 00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:25,800 We're seeing his goofy family as little as possible. 18 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:27,440 DANA: You sure he's gonna go along with that? 19 00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:29,640 VERUCA: (SCOFFS) Danny doesn't say no to me. 20 00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:32,880 Believe me, I have him well-trained. 21 00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:34,120 (WOMEN LAUGHING) 22 00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:37,200 So, tell us, what happened with Eric last night? 23 00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:38,320 (SHUSHING) 24 00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:42,520 So, I told him if he wanted to stop the wedding, 25 00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:45,160 he had to speak now or forever hold his peace. 26 00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:46,680 And what'd he say? 27 00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:48,240 He said he's never gonna settle down, 28 00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:50,000 and I should just go ahead and marry Danny. 29 00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:51,160 (ALL EXCLAIM) 30 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:53,080 Did he give you a wedding present, huh? 31 00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:54,480 You're so horny! Yeah. 32 00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:57,240 I guess you could call it that. 33 00:01:58,040 --> 00:01:59,680 DANA: You're so bad! 34 00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:03,840 (SHUSHING) It's the last time, I swear. 35 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:05,160 Yeah, right! 36 00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:07,680 Danny is so sweet and considerate. 37 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:09,760 And he's gonna be a cardiologist. 38 00:02:09,920 --> 00:02:11,680 So, I'm marrying him 39 00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:13,680 and that zucchini in the middle of his face. 40 00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:15,320 JANA: His parents are disgusting, too! 41 00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:17,320 COLBY: Close your eyes when he's on top! 42 00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:19,240 DANA: And your thighs! 43 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:23,040 Cuz, I'm so sorry. 44 00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:24,840 DANNY: Yikes, that hurt. 45 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:27,800 That was me, Danny Maccabee, 20 years ago. 46 00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:28,960 Pathetic, huh? 47 00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:30,320 (PEOPLE CHATTERING) 48 00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:34,280 So, I'm halfway done boozing away my sorrows, 49 00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:37,040 when something pretty interesting happened. 50 00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:40,280 Oh, baby, you're like a Pop Tart, 51 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:42,360 hot and sweet! 52 00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:44,400 (WHOOPING) 53 00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:45,560 Hey, mami! 54 00:02:45,760 --> 00:02:47,400 You must play the trumpet or something, 55 00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:50,640 'cause you're making me feel all horny and stuff! 56 00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:55,280 You dropped your purse. 57 00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:56,840 Can I just sit for 10 seconds 58 00:02:56,920 --> 00:02:59,160 and not get hit on? Thank you. 59 00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:03,920 I was just letting you know you dropped your purse. 60 00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:07,040 (GROANS) 61 00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:09,240 I'm sorry. I thought... That's fine, that's fine. 62 00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:11,840 I'm sure you didn't meet the lady who gave you that ring 63 00:03:11,920 --> 00:03:13,720 in a meat market like this. 64 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:15,440 School cafeteria. 65 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:17,560 How long you been married? 66 00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:20,480 DANNY: I was gonna tell her, I really was. 67 00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:23,520 But I didn't want her to know what a loser I was, 68 00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:26,160 so I stretched the truth a little. 69 00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:27,320 Six years. 70 00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:29,160 Where's your wife tonight? 71 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:33,240 I stopped asking that question a long time ago. 72 00:03:33,920 --> 00:03:35,040 That's terrible. 73 00:03:35,120 --> 00:03:36,800 My wife says I work too much. 74 00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:41,320 Trying to provide for her, her shopping addiction, 75 00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:42,800 and crack. 76 00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:44,640 Why don't you just leave her? 77 00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:46,600 The children. 78 00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:49,440 All 14 of them. 79 00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:53,000 I just, I like to adopt, 80 00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:55,440 and I don't wanna stop doing that. 81 00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:57,640 You poor guy. 82 00:03:58,040 --> 00:03:59,800 You wanna get outta here? 83 00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:01,760 DANNY: And so I discovered 84 00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:03,680 the power of the wedding ring. 85 00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:05,440 The symbol of my humiliation 86 00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:07,960 had become a tool to get back on the horse. 87 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:10,800 Are you kidding me? Snuffleupagus! 88 00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:15,400 I switched my specialty from cardiology to plastic surgery, 89 00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:17,320 got rid of the big honker, 90 00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:19,880 and the ring became my thing. 91 00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:24,320 I just assumed after we got married she'd stop hooking, but... 92 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:28,120 You need to put this wedding band on a true heart. 93 00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:30,720 This is a good moment. 94 00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:33,520 Yeah. Should we go make it last, 95 00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:34,720 for a while, somewhere? 96 00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:37,800 Okay, let's go. To your dorm. 97 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:41,680 DANNY: Sometimes I think about 98 00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:43,320 throwing the ring into the ocean. 99 00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:45,880 I know how wrong it is. But I can't. 100 00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:49,080 (MIMICKING GOLLUM) It's my Precious. 101 00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:51,760 Besides, being fake married 102 00:04:51,840 --> 00:04:53,480 is the perfect way to make sure 103 00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:56,520 I never get my heart broken again. 104 00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:09,360 What are these? 105 00:05:10,280 --> 00:05:11,600 (EXHALES) 106 00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:12,760 Boobie bags. 107 00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:16,080 The women, they stick them in their flat chesties, 108 00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:18,160 make them big. 109 00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:22,200 These are not the boobie bags that I ordered. 110 00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:23,560 What is that? 111 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:25,280 It's like a syrup dispenser at an IHOP. 112 00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:26,440 I don't know what that is. 113 00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:29,240 Come on. These, they don't feel like these. 114 00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:32,040 No... Seriously? 115 00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:34,360 I just trying to learn. 116 00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:38,320 Listen, Dr. Maccabee would never accept subpar boobs. 117 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:40,200 Would you please just get me what I ordered 118 00:05:40,280 --> 00:05:42,840 and tell Omar that I would like a discount for the inconvenience? 119 00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:44,880 Yes, ma'am. Thank you, Simon. 120 00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:46,440 My 4:00 here? KATHERINE: Yeah. 121 00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:49,000 Room one, Kirsten Brant. Don't laugh. 122 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:50,920 (SIGHING) 123 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:55,800 Well, I, uh... I had bad plastic surgery. 124 00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:57,920 Should've known this doctor was a quack. 125 00:05:58,000 --> 00:05:59,960 His office was in, like, a warehouse. 126 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:02,160 I see, I see. 127 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:05,320 Questions? 128 00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:08,480 No, no. Just, please help me, Doctor. 129 00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:10,880 Absolutely. It's usually easier 130 00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:13,640 to do these things right the first time, but... 131 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:16,600 What? You seem dubious. 132 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:17,680 Hmm? 133 00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:19,200 Oh, no, not at all. 134 00:06:19,280 --> 00:06:21,120 I mean, I hear you're the best, Dr. Maccabee. 135 00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:23,000 I don't know about that, 136 00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:26,920 but I think we can figure something out here. 137 00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:29,280 Relax, relax. 138 00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:33,400 That's relaxed? Hmm. 139 00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:36,360 Here, let me just pull it down for a sec. 140 00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:39,760 And I let go. Okay, shoots right back up there. (SNICKERS) 141 00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:43,680 I'm sorry. Oh. Sorry about what? 142 00:06:43,840 --> 00:06:45,440 Oh, my God! It's just... 143 00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:48,640 That just really went right up there. 144 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:50,560 That was high. You gotta watch that. 145 00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:52,640 It's gonna get caught in your hair. 146 00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:56,200 I don't know, maybe I should just keep it like this. 147 00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:57,800 It seems to make other people happy. 148 00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:01,320 No. But, seriously, are you available for my kid's birthday party? 149 00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:02,400 (LAUGHING) 150 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:04,040 DANNY: That's too much. I'm sorry! 151 00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:05,160 Let me give you a hug. 152 00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:07,120 That's what you need first. We'll fix this. 153 00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:08,480 Mmm. 154 00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:10,960 Oh, God! Okay, I gotta... 155 00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:12,560 I'm gonna excuse myself. I'm sorry. 156 00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:15,320 Ding-dong! 157 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:18,200 Eddie's here. Hey. My cousin. 158 00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:19,600 Oh. 159 00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:21,000 Oh, my gosh. 160 00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:23,160 Brows gone wild over here. 161 00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:24,480 I'm actually digging it. 162 00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:25,560 And what are you doing later? 163 00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:26,680 (LAUGHS) Oh! 164 00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:30,080 Oh, sorry, I'm kind of seeing anybody else. There you go. 165 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:31,800 Oh, browch. (LAUGHS) 166 00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:33,080 My gosh. 167 00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:34,640 Look, I don't know who you're seeing, 168 00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:36,040 but whoever they are, 169 00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:40,080 they don't have what this guy's got down there, you know what I mean? 170 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:41,440 All right, Eddie. 171 00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:44,480 Yeah, it's a very good one. I should know, I installed it. 172 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:46,080 Oh, you had a penile enlargement? 173 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:48,440 Yes. 174 00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:52,200 People really do that? That is hilarious! 175 00:07:52,560 --> 00:07:54,880 See you on the 28th, Dr. Maccabee! 176 00:07:56,160 --> 00:08:00,600 Dude, why are you telling everybody about my surgery? 177 00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:02,480 Am I hiding the secrets around here? 178 00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:03,960 You don't think Katherine knows about this? 179 00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:05,920 Katherine was in the room when I did that. 180 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:07,560 She held the magnifying glass. 181 00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:09,280 I did. And the tweezer. 182 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:10,720 Real nice. 183 00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:12,320 Did you get a chance to try it out yet? 184 00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:15,480 Uh, yeah. I've banged it up. 185 00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:17,720 It's got a couple dents. I'm not gonna lie. 186 00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:19,760 Yeah. You did? 187 00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:21,640 Not from a human. 188 00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:23,400 It's got... From this doll I made. 189 00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:24,920 Oh. 190 00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:27,360 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 191 00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:35,480 Hey, Adon. Yo, yo. 192 00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:37,920 Danny! I am so happy you could be here! 193 00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:39,800 How are you, baby? Did you bring any Botox? 194 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:42,200 I didn't bring the Botox. I brought my cousin, Eddie. 195 00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:43,840 Nice to meet you, Eddie. 196 00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:45,280 Is this a Halloween party? 197 00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:47,000 Are you kidding me right now? 198 00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:48,280 You got a little more work done, huh? 199 00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:50,360 Yeah, just a little bit, just tweaking, tweaking. 200 00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:51,960 Maintenance, maintenance. 201 00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:54,200 I just wanna stay in the game, Danny. 202 00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:56,800 I don't wanna hit home runs, just some singles. That's all. 203 00:08:57,200 --> 00:08:58,600 You gotta stop, though, I'm telling you. 204 00:08:58,680 --> 00:09:00,160 Do you have any feeling in your face? 205 00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:02,200 Just in this one spot right here. 206 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:06,160 And then from the eyebrows down, dead, dead. 207 00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:08,080 (STRAINED LAUGHING) 208 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:10,960 Is that a car alarm? 209 00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:13,040 He's laughing, he's laughing. Oh, okay. 210 00:09:13,160 --> 00:09:14,440 I wanted to go to your cousin Danny here, 211 00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:16,000 but he refused to do any work. 212 00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:18,640 He didn't wanna put his fingers in the pie. Ooh! 213 00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:20,200 It was getting dangerous. This amount... 214 00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:21,840 You gotta slow it down. 215 00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:24,800 Okay, see? That shouldn't be happening right now. 216 00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:26,680 Adon! Adon, Adon, Adon! 217 00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:29,240 Ariel cut open his knee. It looks awful. 218 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:30,400 What happened? Settle, settle. 219 00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:31,680 What do you expect me to do about it? 220 00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:33,840 It's bleeding. You know what? I could stitch him up. 221 00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:35,560 Why don't you go get me my bag? All right. 222 00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:37,800 So, you fell down the stairs, huh? 223 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:39,160 Yeah. 224 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:40,320 Mmm-hmm. 225 00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:41,880 Did you trip over something? 226 00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:43,360 Was there a skateboard there, or... 227 00:09:43,560 --> 00:09:45,920 No, I was distracted by something. 228 00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:47,560 What distracted you? 229 00:09:47,680 --> 00:09:48,800 A girl. 230 00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:51,680 A girl, okay. Was it your mother? 231 00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:52,920 No! 232 00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:54,320 'Cause she just looks good. 233 00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:56,760 That's your stepmom. I can talk like that. 234 00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:58,880 All right. This is lidocaine. Don't think about it. 235 00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:00,720 (GROANS) Ow! 236 00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:02,760 Don't think about it. Think about your face. 237 00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:03,920 Good, good. 238 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:05,520 Blonde, brunette, redhead? 239 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:11,440 Blonde, tan, tall, rocking body. 240 00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:12,880 Nipples. 241 00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:15,000 Want me to numb something else for you? 242 00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:16,360 You're getting a little nutty over there. 243 00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:18,040 (EXCLAIMS) No! No, I'm good. I'm good. 244 00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:21,400 I'm alive! I'm alive, everybody! 245 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:34,600 Good job, Doctor. That was really nice. 246 00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:36,640 The distraction, I'm guessing. 247 00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:37,800 The what? 248 00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:40,520 The boy was distracted. That's why he fell. 249 00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:42,880 So, I'm taking the rap for this. 250 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:45,600 Yes. Your hotness basically pushed him down the stairs. 251 00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:47,400 Good luck proving that in court, Wisengruber. 252 00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:49,200 Wisengruber? Is that what they're saying 253 00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:50,640 on the Gossip Girl nowadays? 254 00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:54,000 I knew you two would eventually find each other! 255 00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:56,880 But be careful, Palmer, these plastic surgeons, 256 00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:59,280 they really know how to operate. 257 00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:00,440 (STRAINED LAUGHING) 258 00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:03,520 Yeah, all right, Adon. All right. 259 00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:10,360 PALMER: I just don't know about plastic surgery. 260 00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:12,000 I mean, doesn't it always look so fake? 261 00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:14,320 Depends who's doing it. I'm pretty good at it. I'm telling you. 262 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:16,400 Some of my patients are here tonight. Oh, really? 263 00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:17,520 Really, really. Look around, 264 00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:21,000 see if you can find someone decent-looking. 265 00:11:21,680 --> 00:11:23,160 How 'bout her? 266 00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:24,800 The lady from Saw? 267 00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:27,320 Fine. Who did you do? 268 00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:29,440 All right. I hate to rat the guy out, 269 00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:31,360 but see that guy over there? 270 00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:33,360 You mean Sexy Ass? 271 00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:36,000 Before I met him, he was No Buns Bobby. 272 00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:37,200 Really? 273 00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:39,400 His back went straight to his legs. No kidding. 274 00:11:39,560 --> 00:11:40,560 He'd go to the bathroom, 275 00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:41,720 he'd slide right in the toilet. 276 00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:45,320 I know, I know, that's really romantic, isn't it? 277 00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:49,000 So, North Carolina, how long have you lived here in LA? 278 00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:50,520 I've been here almost two years. 279 00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:53,040 Uh-huh. That's a lot of auditioning for you. 280 00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:54,640 You think I'm an actress? 281 00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:56,040 I guarantee you're an actress. 282 00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:58,880 Well, guess again, Doc. I teach sixth grade math. 283 00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:02,200 They got no schools in North Carolina to teach at? 284 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:05,680 My parents divorced. 285 00:12:05,760 --> 00:12:07,120 Had a pretty nasty one, actually, 286 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:08,760 when I was in the eighth grade. Mmm-hmm. 287 00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:13,320 And... I don't know. I got tired of picking sides, so... 288 00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:17,840 Okay. I thought I'd make a change and, yeah, move out to LA. 289 00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:20,680 You came to the right place. No one gets divorced in LA. 290 00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:22,000 Mmm-hmm. 291 00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:26,720 I've never hung out with a girl your age. This is nice. 292 00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:29,960 Oh, no. Your first lie to me. 293 00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:32,360 You're good. All right. 294 00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:35,720 I've never hung out with a girl your age and 295 00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:38,720 connected the way we are right now. 296 00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:41,040 Actually, I've never connected with, 297 00:12:41,120 --> 00:12:43,080 I don't think any girl at any age. 298 00:12:44,440 --> 00:12:46,160 See? I can tell when you're lying 299 00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:48,280 and when you're telling the truth. Oh. 300 00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:52,120 Yeah. The second thing I said was the truth. 301 00:12:52,560 --> 00:12:53,720 I know. 302 00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:09,040 Oh, my God. That was the greatest night of my life. 303 00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:13,280 Yeah. This feels like it could be... 304 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:15,760 I don't know, a real thing. 305 00:13:17,160 --> 00:13:19,400 It's a thing all right, Palmer. 306 00:13:19,680 --> 00:13:21,360 Well, I have to get to work, 307 00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:22,760 but how 'bout I take your number 308 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:26,120 and then you can take me out on a proper date next time? 309 00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:30,320 I got a business card in my pocket if you wanna get that. 310 00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:32,640 You better call. (LAUGHING) 311 00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:34,840 You better not just, just leave me hanging. 312 00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:36,880 I'd get it for you myself, 313 00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:39,040 but I don't want you to see me naked in the daylight. 314 00:13:39,120 --> 00:13:41,000 It could be a deal breaker. 315 00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:47,320 What's this? 316 00:13:48,680 --> 00:13:50,120 A circle? 317 00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:52,920 A wedding ring? You're married? 318 00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:55,320 No, no, no, I'm not, I'm not married. 319 00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:58,600 That is a... That is... That's not mine. 320 00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:02,000 Whose wedding ring is in your pants, Danny? 321 00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:06,120 All right, listen, just give me a minute to explain this. 322 00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:07,520 Please. 323 00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:09,840 It's gonna take more than a minute. 324 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:11,360 I am such an idiot! 325 00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:12,640 No, no, no, no, no. 326 00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:14,560 Don't call me! 327 00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:16,280 No, Palmer! 328 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:19,760 (GROANS) 329 00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:22,560 I told you that this whole fake marriage thing 330 00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:24,560 was just gonna come and bite you in the ass. 331 00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:26,400 Why don't you just tell her the truth? 332 00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:28,360 You think I can tell her the truth? 333 00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:30,960 Let me practice. You be her right now. 334 00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:32,840 Oh, good. Okay, hold on. 335 00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:37,240 Okay. She's not like that, but anyways. 336 00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:41,240 Um, I wear this fake wedding ring sometimes... 337 00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:42,360 You're a pig. 338 00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:43,600 (GROANS) 339 00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:46,360 Sorry. You're a pig. 340 00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:48,480 What's wrong? You're walking really weird. 341 00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:50,800 My back. I slept on the beach last night. 342 00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:52,000 God Almighty. 343 00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:53,920 When are you gonna strengthen your spine? 344 00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:55,720 Seriously, Flomax. 345 00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:57,720 You gotta work out more than once a month. 346 00:14:57,760 --> 00:14:59,320 I can't, I don't have time to work out. 347 00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:00,920 You do. You can't say that, Danny. 348 00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:04,160 My mother always said Cary Grant never went to the gym. 349 00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:07,240 Only took the stairs, every day, never an elevator. 350 00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:09,840 You wanna hear my impression of Cary Grant's butler? Nuh-uh. 351 00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:10,960 Watch. What? 352 00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:13,360 Hello? No, he's dead. 353 00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:15,120 Okay, bye-bye. 354 00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:16,880 That's good. That's funny. 355 00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:18,240 Mom, give me some money. 356 00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:20,720 Hi. How are you? 357 00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:22,040 Nice to see you, kids. 358 00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:24,080 Please be polite and say hello to Dr. Maccabee. 359 00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:25,600 (IN ENGLISH ACCENT) 'Ello, Dr. Danny. 360 00:15:25,680 --> 00:15:27,120 'Ow is you today? 361 00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:28,960 Is that my associate, Dr. Doolittle? 362 00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:30,240 Why is she talking like that? 363 00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:32,400 She's been working on some accents. 364 00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:35,640 I am takin' an acting class this summer, I is. 365 00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:38,360 Gonna be the next Miley Cyrus, I am. 366 00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:40,960 How 'bout you, young man? Do you like Hannah Montana? 367 00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:42,960 No. I like Californication. 368 00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:45,800 When do you ever watch Californication? 369 00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:48,960 Rosa lets us watch Showtime when she calls her boyfriend. 370 00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:52,160 Eat the mushroom! Eat the mushroom! Yes! 371 00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:54,880 Mmm. You run a tight ship at home, huh? 372 00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:56,240 MICHAEL: Dr. Danny? 373 00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:57,560 Yeah? 374 00:15:57,640 --> 00:16:00,400 Will you take me to Hawaii so I can swim with the dolphins? 375 00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:03,000 Take you to Hawaii? No. 376 00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:05,680 I saw a show on the Discovery Channel. 377 00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:07,760 They say in Hawaii they have dolphins 378 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,440 that you can swim with if you pay money. 379 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:10,760 Okay. 380 00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:13,640 But I don't have any money. And my mom says you're rich. 381 00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:15,640 Michael! No, it's fine. 382 00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:17,840 Maybe you should make your own money. 383 00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:20,000 Maybe a paper route or something like that? 384 00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:23,800 'Cause rich people don't give other people trips. 385 00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:25,920 That's why they remain rich. You understand? 386 00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:29,480 But my mom says you do charity for kids all the time. 387 00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:34,960 I do charity work like I fix a cleft lip or a child's deformity. 388 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:38,080 I don't take them to Hawaii. I could get arrested for that. 389 00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:41,520 What if I was deformed? Then would you take me to Hawaii? 390 00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:44,080 If you were deformed, I'd bring you to Hawaii, 391 00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:46,720 but I'd leave you there, 'cause I wouldn't want to look at you. 392 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:48,640 Okay. Here's the money, and I want change. 393 00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:49,920 And I wanna hear back 394 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:52,040 that you actually ate the food that I am paying for. 395 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:55,480 Mom, before we go, can I make a Devlin? 396 00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:58,200 Sure. Down the hall. Will you please go with him? 397 00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:01,040 We open in five minutes and I am not having him sit there forever. 398 00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:03,120 Bloody hell right, I will, Mumsy! 399 00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:05,360 All right, Winston Churchill. 400 00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:06,800 He said, "I gotta make a Devlin." 401 00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:08,720 What does that mean? Uh... 402 00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:12,400 It's just a friend of mine who was in my sorority in college 403 00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:14,920 named Devlin Adams, and... 404 00:17:15,360 --> 00:17:17,320 Well, I wouldn't say friend. I'd say more my nemesis. 405 00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:19,560 Oh, so she was a frenemy? Yes. 406 00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:22,360 You'd probably like her. She's really, really fake. 407 00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:23,520 Ah. 408 00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:25,360 Always had to have the coolest clothes 409 00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:28,080 and the hottest boys and, you know... 410 00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:30,320 She bothers you. A lot. 411 00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:33,040 So, one night, I was just having a glass of wine. 412 00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:35,000 A bottle. A bottle. 413 00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:36,280 And, uh... 414 00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:39,520 And I just got so tired of the kids saying things like, 415 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:40,920 "I gotta take a crap. 416 00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:42,520 "I gotta take a dump." 417 00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:45,800 So, I told them that it was called "making a Devlin," 418 00:17:45,880 --> 00:17:47,280 and they liked it. 419 00:17:47,360 --> 00:17:48,360 And it stuck. 420 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:50,840 I always call it making a black pickle. 421 00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:52,680 Making a what? I don't say that. 422 00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:54,600 Out loud? Good. To others. No. 423 00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:56,600 What are we gonna do about my love life, though? 424 00:17:56,760 --> 00:17:59,880 Oh, Danny, I would feel terrible for you if I had any, 425 00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:02,200 even the slightest, investment in you 426 00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:03,760 successfully banging 23-year-olds. 427 00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:06,440 Holy Devlin, you're not listening to me. 428 00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:10,040 This is like not some bull-Devlin fling. 429 00:18:10,120 --> 00:18:11,680 I mean, I'm serious. 430 00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:13,280 This is the real Devlin. I could... 431 00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:16,640 I swear to God, I could see myself ending up with this girl. 432 00:18:17,120 --> 00:18:18,080 Oh. 433 00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:21,200 You're right. You can't tell her the truth. 434 00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:22,480 High score! 435 00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:24,440 Oh, God. Sorry. 436 00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:26,560 I'm glad someone's doing good. 437 00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:27,840 (CHUCKLING) 438 00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:29,880 You know what? You don't wanna get serious, 439 00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:32,160 'cause when you get serious, that leads to marriage, 440 00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:34,800 and then marriage leads to divorce, and divorce is just... 441 00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:35,960 I mean, look at these poor kids. 442 00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:38,600 You know, their dad was supposed to pick them up today. 443 00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:40,080 He was a no-show? Again. 444 00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:41,440 But you know what? 445 00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:44,000 At least I got my head together and I divorced him. 446 00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:45,440 Yeah, yeah. 447 00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:49,080 Wait a minute. 448 00:18:49,360 --> 00:18:50,920 (SCHOOL BELL RINGING) 449 00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:57,480 You go ahead without me. 450 00:18:57,880 --> 00:18:58,880 Oh, no, no, no. 451 00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:00,360 Palmer, Palmer, Palmer, Palmer, Palmer. 452 00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:01,960 I told you I didn't want to see you. 453 00:19:02,120 --> 00:19:03,760 I just want to explain something to you. 454 00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:06,080 Let me explain something to you. 455 00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:07,480 (KIDS EXCLAIMING) 456 00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:10,440 I do not date married men. 457 00:19:10,640 --> 00:19:12,280 My father cheated on my mom when I was young. 458 00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:14,160 I am not going to be the other woman! 459 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,200 Adulterer! Fornicator! 460 00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:18,480 All right, take it easy, Damien, all right? 461 00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:20,440 Okay, his name is Silas, leave him out of this. 462 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,960 I'll kill you. 463 00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:25,040 What? Anytime! 464 00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:27,960 Listen! I am married. 465 00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:30,400 But it is a horrible marriage. 466 00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:32,200 She doesn't even talk to me anymore. 467 00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:33,960 Danny, that's what all married men say. 468 00:19:34,360 --> 00:19:36,160 If it's so bad, why don't you get divorced? 469 00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:37,560 I am. 470 00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:41,720 You are? Yes! It's over. 471 00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:43,600 Oh, my God, I can't believe this. 472 00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:45,080 I destroyed a marriage! 473 00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:47,360 I really feel like I'm gonna be sick. I can't... 474 00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:49,440 No, no, it wasn't 'cause of you! 475 00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:51,520 I filed a long, long time ago. 476 00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:54,960 We're gonna sign the papers in a couple of days 477 00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:57,120 and it's like, she's dead to me. 478 00:19:57,400 --> 00:19:58,520 What's her name? 479 00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:00,040 Mrs. Maccabee. 480 00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:05,360 You mean her first name? Her first name is Devlin. 481 00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:07,600 Her name's Devlin? 482 00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:10,520 Isn't that a shitty name? Yeah, yeah, yeah. 483 00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:14,480 But Devlin and I are splitting up, fortunately, 484 00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:18,880 'cause I caught her cheating on me with another guy. 485 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:20,080 I didn't catch her. 486 00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:24,280 The television show Cheaters caught her and the guy. 487 00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:26,640 And I told them not to air it, though, 488 00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:28,880 because it's too painful. 489 00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:31,200 They actually burned the tape so you can't see it. 490 00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:32,920 But I would love you to. 491 00:20:33,360 --> 00:20:34,920 There's another man? 492 00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:37,920 There's another guy, yes. Dolph. 493 00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:39,560 Dolph? 494 00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:42,440 Dolph Lundgren. Yeah. 495 00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:44,120 Like the guy from Rocky IV? 496 00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:46,840 No, no, a different Dolph Lundgren. 497 00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:49,280 Apparently, if you bring that one up, 498 00:20:49,360 --> 00:20:51,800 this one gets really angry, so don't. 499 00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:53,880 Danny, guys always say they're gonna leave their wives. 500 00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:55,040 They never do. 501 00:20:55,120 --> 00:20:57,280 I'm telling you, she's happy with this Dolph guy, 502 00:20:57,360 --> 00:20:59,520 good for her. Now I wanna be happy. 503 00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:01,880 And the only way I can be happy is if I'm with you! 504 00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:03,040 All right? 505 00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:06,480 Just wanna be able to be with you 506 00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:08,320 and not be called a "fornicator" 507 00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:10,080 or an "adulterer" or whatever that 508 00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:11,920 Children of the Corn kid was calling me. 509 00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:13,640 Okay. 510 00:21:13,760 --> 00:21:14,800 Okay? 511 00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:16,800 I just need to hear it from her. 512 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,240 How about if she texts you, would that be good? 513 00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:21,720 I need to meet her. 514 00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:28,920 Let's do it. 515 00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:31,480 KATHERINE: You want me to be your wife? DANNY: Uh-huh. 516 00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:33,600 And you couldn't think of another name, other than Devlin? 517 00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:36,280 I practically took a Devlin in my pants when she asked me. 518 00:21:36,360 --> 00:21:37,480 "What's her name?" I got panicked. 519 00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:38,600 I get nervous around this girl. 520 00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:39,840 You got panicked? 521 00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:42,080 You who invents a fake wife every Friday night? 522 00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:43,360 Yeah. Doesn't that say something 523 00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:44,640 about what I feel about this girl? 524 00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:45,920 Have you ever thought about the time 525 00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:47,840 that she's actually gonna walk into your office... Uh-huh. 526 00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:52,000 ...and sees that I'm your assistantlreceptionist? 527 00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:53,840 So easy. I'm a plastic surgeon, 528 00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:55,280 you will never look like you again. 529 00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:57,320 Snip, snap. Chip, chap. What are you talking about? 530 00:21:57,440 --> 00:21:59,000 I'm kidding. I'll get you a fake mustache. 531 00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:02,040 Oh, my God, you've really, really not thought this through. 532 00:22:02,120 --> 00:22:05,000 Will you please just look at some clothes? 533 00:22:05,120 --> 00:22:06,840 Look at that. I don't wear... 534 00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:08,320 I have clothes, by the way. 535 00:22:08,360 --> 00:22:09,720 I do not need to do any of this. I'm fine. 536 00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:11,600 Yes. You have the best clothes that Old Navy sells. 537 00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:13,680 I'm just saying you gotta look like a plastic surgeon's wife. 538 00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:16,160 I want to create the illusion I had a hot first wife. 539 00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:17,640 You're so... Not this! 540 00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:19,360 Okay, come on, let's go, you asked for it. 541 00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:20,480 I'm ready. 542 00:22:24,840 --> 00:22:26,960 Wow! These are... Oh, geez. 543 00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:28,080 Nice, nice. 544 00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:31,200 It's just been a while since I've been in heels, sorry. 545 00:22:31,360 --> 00:22:33,320 Okay, okay. Oh, gosh. Okay. 546 00:22:33,480 --> 00:22:35,200 Get there. Yeah, great. 547 00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:38,720 Oh, my God! These are gorgeous! 548 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:41,040 How much are these? $1,700. 549 00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:43,800 $1,700? What, do you come with them? 550 00:22:44,840 --> 00:22:48,000 My parents' house costs $1,700. No, no. 551 00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:50,840 No. What, did Mickey Mantle sign those? 552 00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:53,040 Why are they $1,700, they made outta panda? 553 00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:54,520 Walk away. Yeah. You know what? 554 00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:56,400 We won't really be needing them anyway. 555 00:22:56,560 --> 00:22:58,360 'Cause I'm actually starting to... 556 00:22:58,520 --> 00:23:02,000 I'm actually starting to feel not so hot. Is it warm in here? 557 00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:04,440 Whoo. I'm not sure I'll be able to make it this evening. 558 00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:08,160 Very good. Okay, you know what? We'll take them. 559 00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:11,440 It's your Christmas bonus. Oh, really? 560 00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:13,280 Okay, then I would like them in blue, too. 561 00:23:13,360 --> 00:23:16,040 In case a heel breaks or I just want to cuddle. 562 00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:18,080 It's beautiful. You sicken me. 563 00:23:18,360 --> 00:23:20,120 Yes, well, that's why we're getting a divorce. 564 00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:23,360 We're getting a divorce because you're greedy, schemy and selfish. 565 00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:25,000 (STUTTERS) 566 00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:27,760 Actually, I think you need to get the matching bag, too. 567 00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:29,720 Yeah, I think I should. 568 00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:31,600 Mmm. Thank you, Laurie. I agree. 569 00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:33,600 All the girls are sticking together. Isn't that sweet? 570 00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:35,240 Mmm-hmm. She's on your side, what a shock. 571 00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:37,120 You asked for this. Trust me. 572 00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:38,360 Uh-huh. You asked for this. (EXCLAIMS) 573 00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:42,320 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 574 00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:08,040 No. 575 00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:10,880 No. 576 00:24:17,120 --> 00:24:20,720 Hell, no! No, no, no! 577 00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:21,920 What do you mean, no? 578 00:24:22,120 --> 00:24:23,480 No? No what? 579 00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:26,760 No hope. Okay? There's only one word for it. 580 00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:29,120 What is it? Neglect. 581 00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:31,240 Okay? This is the one word 582 00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:32,680 for the whole thing. Are you the husband? 583 00:24:32,840 --> 00:24:35,120 I'm the soon to be ex-husband. 584 00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:36,440 We're getting a divorce. 585 00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:37,880 Well, you know he's not divorcing you. 586 00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:39,120 He's divorcing your head. 587 00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:41,120 True 'dat, Ernesto. Right on the money. 588 00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:42,640 Your hair is so messed up, I don't even... 589 00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:43,800 Let me count the ways. 590 00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:46,920 It's dull, it's dead, it's flat. 591 00:24:47,040 --> 00:24:48,240 Don't forget smelly. 592 00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:49,680 It don't smell, particularly... 593 00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:51,200 Okay, I think we got it. You bad. 594 00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:53,600 You is bad. Give me a little bit. That's bad, though. 595 00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:57,720 You guys, come on, seriously. Ernesto, can you just, please 596 00:24:57,800 --> 00:24:59,480 do something, so we can be home 597 00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:00,560 and I can get out of here? 598 00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:02,720 Hurricane Katrina could do something, baby. 599 00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:04,040 I'm gonna do something transcendent. 600 00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:06,320 Katya! Yuri, Mrs. Hwiggins! 601 00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:07,600 We going in deep, y'all. 602 00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:11,040 You seem nervous, Danny. 603 00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:12,320 No, no, I just... 604 00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:14,240 It's weird, she gets me very tense. 605 00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:15,840 I'm sorry to put you through this. 606 00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:17,400 No, I understand why we're doing this. 607 00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:19,520 I'm just looking forward to getting past this part of my life 608 00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:21,400 and moving on to the good part. 609 00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:25,000 We will. Soon. Tonight. 610 00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:26,520 Good God, yes. 611 00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:28,440 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 612 00:25:45,680 --> 00:25:47,520 Is that her? 613 00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:49,520 I think so. 614 00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:54,080 She's stunning. 615 00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:56,760 I love her shoes. 616 00:25:56,920 --> 00:25:59,160 Yeah, well, she got about five pairs of them. 617 00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:00,400 Maybe she'll give you one. 618 00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:03,320 Henderson! 619 00:26:03,360 --> 00:26:05,560 Do you see Dr. Maccabee anywhere in this... 620 00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:07,840 Oh! There he is. 621 00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:09,560 Keep the car running, shan't be long. 622 00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:11,760 Hello, boring! 623 00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:13,560 Hey. You went with a limo driver? 624 00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:15,240 I'm just playing the part. 625 00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:16,720 Okay. 626 00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:19,440 Palmer! Hi. 627 00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:22,280 Devlin Maccabee. Soon to be, single-abee. 628 00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:27,120 Waiter! Excuse me. Anybody? 629 00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:29,560 Yes, yes. Something to drink, madam? 630 00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:31,040 Well, hello. 631 00:26:31,120 --> 00:26:33,120 I would like a tall glass of you. 632 00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:35,120 Is that possible? Meow! 633 00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:38,800 I'm just kidding. Unless you're really into it. 634 00:26:40,120 --> 00:26:42,200 Kidding again. No, I'm not. 635 00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:44,560 We don't know. Grey Goose martinis, 636 00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:46,960 just keep 'em coming. Okay. Ooh! 637 00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:49,920 Make that a dirty martini. Okay? 638 00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:51,160 Okay, that was a good one. 639 00:26:51,320 --> 00:26:53,840 Well, so, Palmer. 640 00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:55,360 I heard you and Danny had sex. 641 00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:03,000 Yes. I am so sorry, I had... 642 00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:05,640 Please, honey, it is fine. 643 00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:09,320 I'm just happy to hear that his thing-a-ding can still ring-a-ding. 644 00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:12,840 'Cause he's got a serious small issue 645 00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:15,720 with ED. Over here. 646 00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:16,920 Okay. 647 00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:18,480 What's ED? I don't... 648 00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:20,680 Oh, gosh. I forgot. You're fifteen. 649 00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:25,840 Erectile dysfunction, my darling. 650 00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:27,240 Think about it as if 651 00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:30,040 you're trying to throw darts and you just... 652 00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:32,080 All you really got, you're shooting with, 653 00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:33,640 like, overcooked spaghetti. 654 00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:34,840 Okay. Yeah. 655 00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:37,520 I just think that my spaghetti wasn't loving 656 00:27:37,600 --> 00:27:39,200 the meatballs that was being served. 657 00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:41,920 They were a little too lumpy. Oh. 658 00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:44,600 I've heard from a lot of men that I serve 659 00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:47,720 the finest meatballs in Southern California. 660 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:51,880 Of course. A lot of homeless men have said this. 661 00:27:52,040 --> 00:27:54,440 They'll eat anything, you know. (LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY) 662 00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:56,880 I'm just very shocked that you remember 663 00:27:56,960 --> 00:27:58,560 anybody you've ever been with. 664 00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:00,880 With all the pills that are in your system. 665 00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:02,880 She likes the pills, this one. 666 00:28:03,080 --> 00:28:04,640 At night I come home, "What's for dinner?" 667 00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:08,240 "Well, we have purple pills, and the green ones 668 00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:10,880 "and some lovely yellow bombers 669 00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:12,680 "I just took out of the oven." 670 00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:13,920 Remember that? 671 00:28:15,400 --> 00:28:17,600 I had to do something to amuse myself 672 00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:21,080 while this one sat on the throne for hours 673 00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:23,240 dealing with his irritable bowel syndrome. 674 00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:25,280 I got another disease. Okay. 675 00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:29,240 Can I tell you, I spent the eve of our wedding 676 00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:30,720 sitting on the bed, 677 00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:35,400 listening to what sounded like an underwater symphony, 678 00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:38,640 of French horns and bassoons 679 00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:40,440 coming out of our hotel bathroom. 680 00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:44,480 Mix that with the smell of like a dead cat and some fajitas 681 00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:46,720 and you've got what you call yourself 682 00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:49,720 a severely diminished libido. 683 00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:51,160 (THUDDING) Ow! 684 00:28:52,080 --> 00:28:53,600 Did you just kick me? 685 00:28:53,960 --> 00:28:55,920 No. Did you? You kicked her? 686 00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:57,040 Why'd you kick her? 687 00:28:57,440 --> 00:29:00,600 Yeah, I don't... I... Yes. I... I have leg spasms. 688 00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:02,800 Ow! 689 00:29:04,040 --> 00:29:05,120 It's a side effect. 690 00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:07,000 Terrible side effect from all the pill popping. 691 00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:09,080 But, you know, it's all better now. 692 00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:11,240 I'm clean and sober and I apologize. 693 00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:12,400 It's okay. 694 00:29:12,480 --> 00:29:15,640 Thirteenth step, right there. Back to drinking. 695 00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:18,040 Oh, Henderson, you thoughtless oaf, 696 00:29:18,120 --> 00:29:19,520 stop texting, open that door. 697 00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:21,960 Why do you keep calling me Henderson? Just go with it. 698 00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:24,560 Palmer, so lovely to meet you. 699 00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:26,560 Likewise, really. 700 00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:28,440 I mean, look at you two. 701 00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:30,400 I mean, it's like, Barbie and... 702 00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:31,520 Yes. 703 00:29:32,760 --> 00:29:34,400 ...Grandpa Ken. 704 00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:35,960 (LAUGHING) 705 00:29:36,040 --> 00:29:39,200 I mean... And even though it did not work out 706 00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:41,960 between us at all... 707 00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:44,440 It's like it never happened. You know? 708 00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:45,680 It really isn't. 709 00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:48,160 I still want my Danny to be happy. Oh, look at that. 710 00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:49,440 Happy, happy, happy. 711 00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:50,680 Good night, kiddo. Okay. 712 00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:52,160 Hello. 713 00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:54,600 It's her drug dealer I'm thinking. 714 00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:56,480 Okay, please put her on the phone right now. 715 00:29:57,280 --> 00:29:58,520 Are you kidding me, honey? 716 00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:00,240 You know how I feel about 717 00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:03,200 you selling your brother's stuff on eBay. 718 00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:05,320 Hey, hey, hey. Take that in the car. 719 00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:06,520 No. It's okay. 720 00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:11,360 I will deal with you when I get home, young lady. Okay. 721 00:30:11,680 --> 00:30:13,800 I mean, you would think... 722 00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:18,280 You have kids? 723 00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:20,600 Hmm? Hmm? 724 00:30:21,040 --> 00:30:22,640 You have... You have children? 725 00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:26,080 We have sort of a little bit... 726 00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:28,160 A little bit of children, right? 727 00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:29,760 When were you planning on telling me 728 00:30:29,840 --> 00:30:30,960 about these children, Danny? 729 00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:32,320 I don't know, but listen, 730 00:30:32,360 --> 00:30:35,640 I have to go get to those little munchkins. 731 00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:37,720 Palmer, so nice, seriously. 732 00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:38,840 Danny. 733 00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:42,480 No, no, no, hey, hey. 734 00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:44,040 Okay. 735 00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:49,040 Are you freaked out right now about all this or... 736 00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:52,480 Actually, just the opposite. 737 00:30:52,880 --> 00:30:55,480 The opposite of freaked out? What do you mean? Good? 738 00:30:55,560 --> 00:30:56,880 You know that I love kids. 739 00:30:56,960 --> 00:30:58,040 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 740 00:30:58,120 --> 00:31:00,080 I just never pegged you as a kids guy. 741 00:31:00,440 --> 00:31:02,920 I'm a huge kids guy. I love kids. 742 00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:04,680 Kids, kids, kids. Is... 743 00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:06,920 Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's my thing. That's my bumper sticker. 744 00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:08,200 What are their names? 745 00:31:08,920 --> 00:31:12,360 What are their names again? There is 746 00:31:12,880 --> 00:31:17,200 the girl who, of course, is Kiki Dee. 747 00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:20,840 And then the boy's name's Bart. 748 00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:24,360 Which of course is short for Barto. 749 00:31:24,520 --> 00:31:25,840 Well, I wanna meet them! 750 00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:27,680 Of course you do. 751 00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:30,080 MAGGIE: So our mom doesn't know that you took us today? 752 00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:31,400 Not yet. 753 00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:33,080 You know this is kidnapping. 754 00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:34,360 Stranger danger. 755 00:31:34,440 --> 00:31:35,720 What? No. 756 00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:38,440 Is the guy from Dateline NBC gonna walk in? 757 00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:42,920 No! I know you two a long time and Rosa's here. 758 00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:45,200 (SINGING) 759 00:31:45,280 --> 00:31:47,160 Doing whatever that Rosa does. 760 00:31:47,880 --> 00:31:49,480 God, she's freaky. DANNY: Yeah. 761 00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:50,600 So here's the deal. 762 00:31:51,040 --> 00:31:54,600 How would you like to be my pretend children 763 00:31:54,640 --> 00:31:56,000 for one afternoon? 764 00:31:56,960 --> 00:31:59,080 Why don't you just tell that poor girl the truth? 765 00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:00,240 You know? 766 00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:01,960 Our mother tells us everything. 767 00:32:02,040 --> 00:32:03,400 Wedding ring boy. 768 00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:04,640 What? Oh, my goodness! 769 00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:07,640 Did you see Gossip Girl last night? It was so good! 770 00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:09,600 No, she's not like that. 771 00:32:09,680 --> 00:32:11,920 Your mother's presenting her in a weird, weird way. 772 00:32:11,960 --> 00:32:13,080 I'm just saying, telling the truth 773 00:32:13,160 --> 00:32:14,640 is not in the cards right now. 774 00:32:14,760 --> 00:32:17,160 I thought you'd be excited to have an acting job. 775 00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:19,480 If it's an acting job, we should get paid. 776 00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:22,000 Yeah, you're gonna get paid in experience. 777 00:32:22,120 --> 00:32:23,960 I wanna actually get paid. 778 00:32:24,040 --> 00:32:25,000 (CHUCKLES) 779 00:32:25,120 --> 00:32:26,400 All right, what do you want? 780 00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:28,440 $600 for the day, 781 00:32:28,520 --> 00:32:30,920 plus overtime if we go over eight hours. 782 00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:32,520 I'll do my own hair and makeup. 783 00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:35,640 And I want you to pay for the six-week intensive acting camp 784 00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:37,040 that my mom can't afford. 785 00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:42,040 $50 for the day and a two-week acting class at the YMCA nearest you. 786 00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:44,640 $500 and a four- week acting class. 787 00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:47,160 $300 and a three-week class. 788 00:32:47,480 --> 00:32:48,520 Done. 789 00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:51,920 I would have done it for $500. 790 00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:54,040 (SCOFFS) I would have done it for the experience. 791 00:32:56,800 --> 00:32:59,120 Michael, you're up. Opener? 792 00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:01,000 I want you to take me to Hawaii 793 00:33:01,040 --> 00:33:03,040 so I can swim with the dolphins. 794 00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:04,880 You're not gonna let that one go, are you? 795 00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:07,120 We're not going to Hawaii, pal. Anything else? 796 00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:09,240 Find someone else then. 797 00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:19,240 Ooh, the Mafia stare down. Very good, Michael. 798 00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:20,680 We're here to negotiate. 799 00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:22,560 Do you have anything else you might like? 800 00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:24,600 I want a flying pony. 801 00:33:24,680 --> 00:33:27,160 I want a flying pony too, Michael, but they don't exist. 802 00:33:27,880 --> 00:33:30,920 Then I want a regular pony. And I want to name him Nelson. 803 00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:34,040 How about a Playstation 3 and we name him Nelson? 804 00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:35,920 Keep talking. 805 00:33:36,200 --> 00:33:38,040 We'll include four video games. 806 00:33:38,120 --> 00:33:39,200 Five games. 807 00:33:39,280 --> 00:33:42,920 And I want the meeting with blondie to be at J.D. McFunnigan's. 808 00:33:43,080 --> 00:33:44,200 How 'bout Charlie Choo-Choo's 809 00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:45,440 'cause it's right down the street from me. 810 00:33:45,880 --> 00:33:48,360 Mention that slop-hole again and I walk. 811 00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:50,880 All right, take it easy, son. Take it easy. 812 00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:53,160 And I want unlimited tokens. 813 00:33:53,240 --> 00:33:55,720 If I can spend 'em, I wanna have 'em. 814 00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:57,520 I don't wanna be like playing Skee-Ball 815 00:33:57,600 --> 00:33:59,280 and all of a sudden run out of tokens. 816 00:33:59,960 --> 00:34:02,000 All right, I can make that happen. 817 00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:03,600 So do we have a deal? 818 00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:06,360 (IMITATES SMOKING) 819 00:34:06,760 --> 00:34:07,840 Deal. 820 00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:10,480 Deal's off unless you eat that pizza, though. Seriously. 821 00:34:13,840 --> 00:34:15,320 Can I do an accent? 822 00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:16,960 Let me hear some. 'Ello! 823 00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:18,560 No. Okay. 824 00:34:18,960 --> 00:34:21,600 My kids? Have you completely lost your mind? 825 00:34:21,680 --> 00:34:23,400 Are you kidding me right now? 826 00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:25,160 You're the one who picked up your cell phone. 827 00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:26,640 That is not... 828 00:34:26,760 --> 00:34:27,960 Mrs. Harrington... 829 00:34:29,440 --> 00:34:31,080 The doctor will see you now. 830 00:34:32,480 --> 00:34:35,000 I can't believe you're doing all of this just so you can get some. 831 00:34:35,080 --> 00:34:36,840 It's just gross. You're just pathetic. 832 00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:39,280 I'm not trying to get some. I already got some. 833 00:34:39,360 --> 00:34:41,200 And yes, I'd like to continue getting some. 834 00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:42,800 I'm pro me getting some. 835 00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:44,080 Have a seat right there, Mrs. Harrington. 836 00:34:44,160 --> 00:34:45,880 Remove your shirt, if you could. 837 00:34:46,680 --> 00:34:50,520 I smell something. You smell something? 838 00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:51,920 I smell perfume. 839 00:34:54,720 --> 00:34:55,960 Is that coming from you? 840 00:34:56,360 --> 00:34:57,560 (STUTTERING) 841 00:34:57,960 --> 00:34:59,120 Maybe. 842 00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:00,960 What, you got a date or something? 843 00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:03,800 I don't have a date. I have a lunch. 844 00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:06,120 You got a lunch? Who you got a lunch with? 845 00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:09,520 Dr. Gervitz's office manager, if you must know everything. 846 00:35:09,640 --> 00:35:10,640 His name is Brian. 847 00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:12,520 The guy with the gray soul patch? 848 00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:13,960 You know what? 849 00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:15,480 Hey, man, I'm Brian. 850 00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:16,560 You're mean! 851 00:35:16,640 --> 00:35:17,880 Wow, you wanna go to lunch sometime? 852 00:35:17,960 --> 00:35:20,040 Is he gonna take you there right after the big protest? 853 00:35:20,120 --> 00:35:22,520 Hey, man, we gotta stop these squirrels. 854 00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:23,640 (LAUGHING) 855 00:35:24,880 --> 00:35:26,360 He plays bass, don't he? 856 00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:27,720 (MIMICKING BASS GUITAR) 857 00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:28,920 (CLEARS THROAT) 858 00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:30,360 You can take the brassiere off, too. 859 00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:32,800 And by the way, he does play the bass. 860 00:35:32,840 --> 00:35:34,680 And he writes songs. 861 00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:35,960 What does he write songs about, 862 00:35:36,040 --> 00:35:37,320 how bad his ponytail stinks? 863 00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:40,160 Mrs. Harrington, could you put your hands on your hips, please? 864 00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:43,160 Okay, so, one of the funbags is not having too much fun. 865 00:35:43,320 --> 00:35:44,680 All right, what happened anyways? 866 00:35:44,760 --> 00:35:47,560 Well, I hit it with the car door yesterday... Right. 867 00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:48,720 ...and I heard a pop 868 00:35:48,800 --> 00:35:51,880 and then some sloshing sound when I walk. 869 00:35:52,080 --> 00:35:54,360 (CELL PHONE BUZZING) Yeah. I think. 870 00:35:58,160 --> 00:35:59,240 What are you doing? 871 00:35:59,560 --> 00:36:02,200 Could be the kids or could be Brian. 872 00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:03,520 Okay. Stop that. 873 00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:04,680 Do you mind just for one second? 874 00:36:04,760 --> 00:36:05,840 Let me just talk to this guy. 875 00:36:06,200 --> 00:36:07,400 (EXCLAIMS) Stop! 876 00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:09,920 Yeah. 877 00:36:10,360 --> 00:36:12,240 Hello? Yeah, man! 878 00:36:12,920 --> 00:36:14,240 Brian? You can lie down. 879 00:36:14,360 --> 00:36:16,920 Yeah, hi! We sure are. 880 00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:19,680 Yeah, no, sushi would be groovy. 881 00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:21,400 Okay, I'll see you at 1 :00 in the lobby. 882 00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:22,920 Okay, bye. 883 00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:28,520 What voice was that? 884 00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:29,960 That was my voice. 885 00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:31,400 Really? 886 00:36:31,520 --> 00:36:32,800 (SPEAKING IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) 887 00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:34,520 I didn't sound like that. 888 00:36:34,560 --> 00:36:35,760 (MIMICKING) One o'clock... 889 00:36:36,120 --> 00:36:38,040 You're excited about this guy, huh? 890 00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:40,960 Mrs. Harrington, this is numbing cream for your nipples, okay? 891 00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:42,240 Oh. Oh, okay. 892 00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:43,960 It's gonna be one afternoon. 893 00:36:44,040 --> 00:36:45,440 Why are we making such a big deal out of this? 894 00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:47,720 Because you know what? You're trying to get my kids involved 895 00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:52,120 in your dysfunctional, sick little, pathetic, twisted web of lies. 896 00:36:52,240 --> 00:36:53,920 When I was negotiating with your son, Michael, 897 00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:56,920 he had the biggest smile I've ever seen on anyone's face. 898 00:36:57,440 --> 00:36:59,720 When I told him we could do it at J.D. McFunnigan's, 899 00:36:59,800 --> 00:37:01,160 the kid looked like he won the Heisman Trophy, 900 00:37:01,240 --> 00:37:02,720 I'm not kidding you. 901 00:37:02,920 --> 00:37:04,360 I think that's enough. Do you feel that? 902 00:37:04,440 --> 00:37:05,480 No. 903 00:37:05,560 --> 00:37:06,600 No, but do you feel that? 904 00:37:07,080 --> 00:37:08,760 No. We're good. 905 00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:10,960 By the way, did you make this? 906 00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:12,160 Mmm-hmm. 907 00:37:12,240 --> 00:37:14,000 We'll have to give it to the Smithsonian 908 00:37:14,080 --> 00:37:16,160 when we've done the operation. Terrific job. 909 00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:18,000 Did he really smile? 910 00:37:18,200 --> 00:37:20,000 Swear to God, like the cutest little smile. 911 00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:22,440 And I got Maggie to eat. 912 00:37:23,160 --> 00:37:24,320 You did? Yeah. 913 00:37:24,680 --> 00:37:26,440 Pizza. Deep dish. Three pieces. 914 00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:28,080 I can't get her to eat anything. 915 00:37:28,160 --> 00:37:31,040 I know you can't. Don't do this for me. 916 00:37:32,320 --> 00:37:33,680 Do it for the children. 917 00:37:35,680 --> 00:37:37,200 Yeah! Oh, stop! 918 00:37:38,360 --> 00:37:39,720 Come on, you're late! 919 00:37:39,760 --> 00:37:41,200 What are you, in character right away? 920 00:37:41,320 --> 00:37:42,520 Come on, let's go! 921 00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:44,360 She's inside. 922 00:37:45,280 --> 00:37:46,280 (GROANS) 923 00:37:46,480 --> 00:37:47,640 What is that? 924 00:37:48,200 --> 00:37:49,200 What? 925 00:37:49,400 --> 00:37:52,000 Did Victoria Beckham have a yard sale? Why are you wearing that? 926 00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:53,560 Are you kidding me? 927 00:37:53,640 --> 00:37:54,960 This is what you bought for me. 928 00:37:55,040 --> 00:37:56,600 I know, I know. I'm just saying is it... 929 00:37:56,680 --> 00:37:57,800 All right, we're stuck with it, 930 00:37:57,880 --> 00:37:59,040 I just think it's a little over the top, but... 931 00:37:59,160 --> 00:38:01,040 Thanks. Happy to be here to help you. 932 00:38:01,120 --> 00:38:05,000 The first rule of improv is always accept the information. 933 00:38:05,160 --> 00:38:07,040 If someone says something, just go with it. 934 00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:08,240 No negating. 935 00:38:08,480 --> 00:38:10,120 Gotcha. That sounds good, that's smart. 936 00:38:10,200 --> 00:38:12,680 In my acting class, when someone says "No" in a scene, 937 00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:14,200 the whole class yells, "Die!" 938 00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:16,200 No. I mean, no one will say "no" then. 939 00:38:16,280 --> 00:38:17,360 Don't yell "die." 940 00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:18,880 Who's up for some warm-up exercises? 941 00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:20,800 No, honey, I'm not gonna do that. The what? 942 00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:22,400 The tip of the tongue, the teeth, the lips. 943 00:38:22,480 --> 00:38:24,200 The tip of the tongue, the teeth, the lips. 944 00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:25,680 (GIBBERISH) 945 00:38:26,400 --> 00:38:29,200 I got one for you. Shut up! (SIGHS) 946 00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:31,720 All right, let's go already. Are you ready there, Mafia? 947 00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:33,760 Hell, yeah. Let's do it! 948 00:38:34,120 --> 00:38:35,920 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 949 00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:09,480 (KIDS SHRIEKING) 950 00:39:13,120 --> 00:39:14,680 (SCREAMING) 951 00:39:17,360 --> 00:39:18,800 Stinks. 952 00:39:19,200 --> 00:39:23,840 Smells like kids' feet and like skidmark underwear. 953 00:39:23,920 --> 00:39:25,800 Mmm. Happy Father's Day. 954 00:39:27,360 --> 00:39:29,560 DANNY: Oh! Jeez! 955 00:39:29,840 --> 00:39:31,080 (SCREAMING) 956 00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:34,960 Mommy! That man put his pee-pee on my face! 957 00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:36,240 What? 958 00:39:37,240 --> 00:39:40,560 He put his face on my pee-pee. Danny! 959 00:39:40,720 --> 00:39:42,840 I'm saying he's the one. I don't think it matters. 960 00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:44,040 No, I get you. 961 00:39:44,240 --> 00:39:45,960 Oh, oh! Palmer, darling. 962 00:39:46,160 --> 00:39:47,240 Hi. 963 00:39:47,680 --> 00:39:50,480 Devlin. Thank you so much for bringing the kids today. 964 00:39:50,560 --> 00:39:52,440 I don't think she was the only one who brought them. 965 00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:56,000 You know what I'm saying? They are my pride and joy. 966 00:39:56,120 --> 00:40:00,160 So I'd like to introduce you to, the one and only, 967 00:40:00,240 --> 00:40:04,120 Kiki Dee, who came out at nine pounds four ounces. 968 00:40:04,200 --> 00:40:05,240 Yeouch. 969 00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:07,360 And then the whopper, we call him, Bart, 970 00:40:07,440 --> 00:40:10,360 because he was a 1 2-pounder and did some damage. 971 00:40:10,480 --> 00:40:12,000 Okay. So... 972 00:40:12,920 --> 00:40:14,160 Hi, you guys. 973 00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:15,480 (IN ENGLISH ACCENT) Hello, Palmer. 974 00:40:15,560 --> 00:40:17,080 Heard so much about you. 975 00:40:19,040 --> 00:40:20,160 You're British? 976 00:40:20,360 --> 00:40:23,960 So you're the bird what's been given Daddy the ol' slap and tickle? 977 00:40:25,880 --> 00:40:30,000 We sent her to boarding school last year in England. 978 00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:32,880 See? So she picked up a slight accent. 979 00:40:32,960 --> 00:40:34,960 It's, you know, very Madonna. 980 00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:37,600 Well, it is a pleasure meeting you, Kiki Dee. 981 00:40:38,120 --> 00:40:39,680 Wish I could say the same. 982 00:40:39,880 --> 00:40:43,240 You see, before you, I had meself a father. 983 00:40:43,520 --> 00:40:45,240 I was the apple of his eye. 984 00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:47,840 It was all giggling and chasing butterflies 985 00:40:47,920 --> 00:40:49,720 in the meadows, and what have you. 986 00:40:50,320 --> 00:40:51,560 And now what do I got? 987 00:40:51,680 --> 00:40:53,520 An hour and a half every other week 988 00:40:53,600 --> 00:40:58,080 at J.D. McFunnigan's with him and his whore. 989 00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:00,320 Koko! Kiki! Kiki! 990 00:41:00,720 --> 00:41:02,040 (CRYING) 991 00:41:03,200 --> 00:41:05,040 God, she's in such pain. 992 00:41:05,160 --> 00:41:06,880 No, that's the pills that... 993 00:41:06,960 --> 00:41:08,160 She took some out of her mother's bureau. 994 00:41:08,200 --> 00:41:09,320 Are you... 995 00:41:09,480 --> 00:41:10,960 All right, let me go see her. 996 00:41:13,040 --> 00:41:14,680 How are you doing, sweetie? 997 00:41:14,760 --> 00:41:18,040 I'll be better when I start seeing some tokens. 998 00:41:19,320 --> 00:41:20,680 He's American. 999 00:41:22,280 --> 00:41:25,080 Excuse me. Yo! What was that all about? 1000 00:41:25,280 --> 00:41:28,200 That was raw and real and in the moment. 1001 00:41:28,280 --> 00:41:29,600 You know, I feel very good about it. 1002 00:41:29,720 --> 00:41:31,320 You do? Well, I don't! 1003 00:41:31,400 --> 00:41:34,120 So if you wanna get your money and your acting classes, 1004 00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:37,000 you better start doing things right from now on. 1005 00:41:37,080 --> 00:41:38,560 No more sob stories. 1006 00:41:38,600 --> 00:41:40,840 And we're stuck with the English accent now, Ringo, 1007 00:41:40,920 --> 00:41:42,880 so commit to it. Don't choke, got it? 1008 00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:44,040 Got it. 1009 00:41:44,120 --> 00:41:46,120 Now hug me and laugh 1010 00:41:46,200 --> 00:41:48,040 and let's get back into the show. 1011 00:41:48,120 --> 00:41:50,760 Okay. Papa! 1012 00:41:53,280 --> 00:41:55,560 You're not a whore, Palmer. 1013 00:41:55,640 --> 00:41:56,720 Okay. 1014 00:41:56,800 --> 00:41:58,560 That's so nice. See what they do, they fight, 1015 00:41:58,640 --> 00:41:59,880 then they make up and it's good. 1016 00:42:00,040 --> 00:42:01,320 Good. We're doing good. 1017 00:42:01,400 --> 00:42:04,120 (SNEEZES) Are you kidding me? 1018 00:42:04,560 --> 00:42:08,400 Got a hamburger here for Bart, Art the Water Fart. 1019 00:42:08,480 --> 00:42:09,520 Here you go, kid. 1020 00:42:09,560 --> 00:42:10,800 Look at that, sweet! 1021 00:42:10,920 --> 00:42:15,280 And two quesadillas for Kiki Sneaky With a Side of Freaky. 1022 00:42:16,560 --> 00:42:18,600 Here's the waters. No soda for you. 1023 00:42:18,680 --> 00:42:21,240 You're battling diabetes, remember? Huh? 1024 00:42:22,240 --> 00:42:23,640 Kiki Dee? 1025 00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:27,600 I got you two quesadillas 'cause it's your favorite food so you have to eat it. 1026 00:42:28,720 --> 00:42:33,320 Well, yes! And that's why I'm going to eat every single bit of it. 1027 00:42:33,680 --> 00:42:35,240 All right, let's see. 1028 00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:39,120 Yummy! 1029 00:42:39,280 --> 00:42:40,320 (MOUTHING) Thank you. 1030 00:42:40,560 --> 00:42:42,320 Hey, I think we forgot napkins. 1031 00:42:42,600 --> 00:42:44,480 We did? Okay. Well let me get the napkins. 1032 00:42:44,600 --> 00:42:46,160 Because I know she's not gonna get up and do it 1033 00:42:46,240 --> 00:42:47,760 because she doesn't like to get up and do anything. 1034 00:42:47,920 --> 00:42:49,000 Oh, nice. 1035 00:42:49,200 --> 00:42:50,640 Everybody be cool. 1036 00:42:52,040 --> 00:42:56,360 So, Bart, your dad tells me you like to go to the bathroom. 1037 00:42:57,000 --> 00:42:59,360 When I feel it, I do it. 1038 00:43:00,280 --> 00:43:01,840 What else do you like? 1039 00:43:02,080 --> 00:43:03,440 I don't know. 1040 00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:06,120 That's our Bart. 1041 00:43:06,200 --> 00:43:08,160 He's a man of very few words. 1042 00:43:08,800 --> 00:43:10,240 Ah. Okay. 1043 00:43:10,840 --> 00:43:12,320 Maybe I'm upset. 1044 00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:15,000 Upset about me and your father dating? 1045 00:43:15,200 --> 00:43:19,760 No. You seem to make my dad happy and that's cool, but... 1046 00:43:20,600 --> 00:43:21,720 But what? 1047 00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:24,120 Nothing. 1048 00:43:24,280 --> 00:43:25,280 Hey, I want you to feel comfortable 1049 00:43:25,360 --> 00:43:26,520 telling me anything. 1050 00:43:27,400 --> 00:43:29,960 Well, I just hate that he broke his promise to me. 1051 00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:31,200 What promise? 1052 00:43:31,280 --> 00:43:32,560 Yeah, what promise? 1053 00:43:32,720 --> 00:43:35,560 He promised me last year that he would take me to Hawaii 1054 00:43:35,680 --> 00:43:36,680 to swim with the dolphins. 1055 00:43:37,080 --> 00:43:39,200 They have this lagoon there with dolphins 1056 00:43:39,280 --> 00:43:40,680 and people get to swim with them. 1057 00:43:40,800 --> 00:43:41,840 What are you doing? 1058 00:43:41,920 --> 00:43:44,640 But without warning, my dad canceled the trip. 1059 00:43:44,960 --> 00:43:46,360 Why would he do that? 1060 00:43:46,720 --> 00:43:48,480 (FAKES CRYING) He met you. 1061 00:43:49,800 --> 00:43:50,960 He what? 1062 00:43:51,160 --> 00:43:52,960 No! Die! 1063 00:43:53,160 --> 00:43:56,160 No, no, no, no, no, no! I'm saying that did not... 1064 00:43:56,600 --> 00:43:58,560 You misread what I said. 1065 00:43:58,640 --> 00:44:01,520 I said we have to go to Hawaii earlier. 1066 00:44:01,840 --> 00:44:04,840 Because I'm excited for all of us to hang out there. 1067 00:44:04,920 --> 00:44:06,000 We're going to Hawaii! 1068 00:44:15,680 --> 00:44:18,840 I can't believe I let a six-year-old blackmail me. 1069 00:44:19,360 --> 00:44:21,280 I saw my shot and I took it. 1070 00:44:21,600 --> 00:44:22,600 You're angry at yourself 1071 00:44:22,680 --> 00:44:24,240 'cause you got us into this whole situation. 1072 00:44:24,360 --> 00:44:25,560 I did? You really did. 1073 00:44:25,680 --> 00:44:27,400 I think old Mary Poppins with the, 1074 00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:30,080 "You can't say no. You can't say no, Guv'nor." 1075 00:44:30,240 --> 00:44:32,000 Okay, listen, my tolerance 1076 00:44:32,080 --> 00:44:34,280 for these continued shenanigans is right here. 1077 00:44:34,440 --> 00:44:36,760 And if it gets up to here, I'm taking my kids, 1078 00:44:36,840 --> 00:44:38,680 I'm selling you out and I'm going home. 1079 00:44:39,040 --> 00:44:42,440 I am so happy we are doing this, Danny. 1080 00:44:42,520 --> 00:44:44,120 Are you kidding me? We're going to Hawaii, 1081 00:44:44,200 --> 00:44:45,760 we're gonna swim with dolphins. 1082 00:44:45,880 --> 00:44:47,520 It's gonna be so much fun. I was just telling the squirt. 1083 00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:49,080 And Seventeen magazine. 1084 00:44:49,200 --> 00:44:50,920 You brought that for these guys or is that for you? 1085 00:44:50,960 --> 00:44:52,520 It's mine. It's my favorite. 1086 00:44:52,600 --> 00:44:54,440 See that? Did you ever read that magazine? 1087 00:44:54,520 --> 00:44:55,720 Thirty years ago you did. 1088 00:44:56,400 --> 00:44:59,440 And hopefully we're gonna have time together, right, sweetie? 1089 00:44:59,560 --> 00:45:01,400 EDDIE: Wait! Wait! 1090 00:45:01,600 --> 00:45:03,200 (EXCLAIMING IN GERMAN) 1091 00:45:03,280 --> 00:45:04,960 Danny, wait! 1092 00:45:09,400 --> 00:45:13,120 Muffinstein, I could not stand to be without you. 1093 00:45:13,200 --> 00:45:14,400 (MUFFLED GROAN) Uh-oh! 1094 00:45:14,480 --> 00:45:15,520 Is this him? 1095 00:45:15,600 --> 00:45:18,160 I see the Colonel von Generous right here in front of me. 1096 00:45:18,240 --> 00:45:19,840 Okay, I'm confused right now. 1097 00:45:20,120 --> 00:45:22,120 I'm so sorry. I've not introduced myself, 1098 00:45:22,160 --> 00:45:25,640 we have talked on the phone, but I am the Dolph Lundgren. 1099 00:45:27,080 --> 00:45:29,160 Devlin's man-friendl love monkey. 1100 00:45:29,320 --> 00:45:30,400 Oh, kill me now. 1101 00:45:30,480 --> 00:45:32,400 Devlin said you had to stay back and work. 1102 00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:34,000 I did. She what said? 1103 00:45:34,200 --> 00:45:36,520 Nein, nein to the work. 1104 00:45:36,600 --> 00:45:38,320 I will work when I am kaput. 1105 00:45:38,520 --> 00:45:40,000 You know, I think this is so great 1106 00:45:40,080 --> 00:45:41,600 of all of you, so mature. 1107 00:45:41,640 --> 00:45:43,680 I would have loved if my parents had done something like this 1108 00:45:43,760 --> 00:45:45,160 when they got divorced. 1109 00:45:45,280 --> 00:45:47,480 That's why I was thinking we should have the man come. 1110 00:45:47,560 --> 00:45:49,200 Yeah, I'm glad. I'm glad. 1111 00:45:49,360 --> 00:45:51,200 It's important for the children 1112 00:45:51,280 --> 00:45:53,360 to see us as a unit. 1113 00:45:53,480 --> 00:45:55,400 And also I cannot stay away from this potato pancake. 1114 00:45:55,520 --> 00:45:58,160 She loves the schnitzel, you know what I mean? 1115 00:46:00,440 --> 00:46:01,800 (GROANS) 1116 00:46:01,880 --> 00:46:03,760 You know what? Tongue feels a little dry. 1117 00:46:03,840 --> 00:46:06,200 Let's go get you some water, honey. We'll be back. 1118 00:46:06,320 --> 00:46:07,800 That's a big tongue, big tongue. 1119 00:46:07,880 --> 00:46:10,240 Get over here, get over here. Ew! 1120 00:46:10,320 --> 00:46:11,360 What are you doing here? 1121 00:46:11,440 --> 00:46:13,600 I don't know, saving the day. Helping. Hello? 1122 00:46:13,680 --> 00:46:15,520 Who are you talking to? What are you looking at? 1123 00:46:16,200 --> 00:46:17,440 I can't see in these things. 1124 00:46:17,520 --> 00:46:18,600 This is what you're gonna do. 1125 00:46:18,680 --> 00:46:21,440 You're gonna tell them that you ate a bad sauerkraut omelet for breakfast 1126 00:46:21,520 --> 00:46:23,840 and that you are feeling like you're sick and that you gotta go. 1127 00:46:23,920 --> 00:46:25,600 Katherine, I can't go. Okay? Why? 1128 00:46:25,720 --> 00:46:29,320 Because I texted a picture of my new equipment to my ex-girlfriend. 1129 00:46:29,400 --> 00:46:30,440 Oh, you're disgusting. 1130 00:46:30,560 --> 00:46:32,320 And I forgot she's engaged to a UFC fighter. 1131 00:46:32,400 --> 00:46:34,240 He wants to punch me in the face. 1132 00:46:34,400 --> 00:46:35,920 I wanna punch you in the face. 1133 00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:37,120 Hey, guys, how we doing? 1134 00:46:37,200 --> 00:46:38,880 (EXCLAIMS IN GERMAN) 1135 00:46:38,960 --> 00:46:41,880 I am just waiting for the money for the ticket. 1136 00:46:41,960 --> 00:46:44,280 Mmm-hmm. So you are coming? And I am paying? 1137 00:46:44,440 --> 00:46:46,680 Yes. Dolph has zero dollars. 1138 00:46:46,760 --> 00:46:47,800 Whoops! Okay. 1139 00:46:48,880 --> 00:46:50,480 Let me see if I can find my credit card. 1140 00:46:50,560 --> 00:46:51,600 Oh, here it is. 1141 00:46:52,960 --> 00:46:54,680 That's for sleeping with my wife, pal. 1142 00:46:55,320 --> 00:46:56,760 (POP MUSIC PLAYING) 1143 00:47:08,640 --> 00:47:10,600 There you go. Thank you. 1144 00:47:10,800 --> 00:47:11,880 Hey, hey! 1145 00:47:11,960 --> 00:47:13,680 Didn't have time to make any reservations, 1146 00:47:13,760 --> 00:47:15,040 but I need two rooms, please. 1147 00:47:15,120 --> 00:47:16,280 Oh, of course. 1148 00:47:16,360 --> 00:47:18,240 Unfortunately, we only have our suites left. 1149 00:47:18,440 --> 00:47:19,560 Oh, boy. 1150 00:47:19,640 --> 00:47:22,200 The Waldorf Astoria at $8,000 per night 1151 00:47:22,240 --> 00:47:24,160 and the Presidential at $12,000. 1152 00:47:24,280 --> 00:47:25,840 $12,000 a night? Mmm-hmm. 1153 00:47:25,920 --> 00:47:27,800 Do the Rolling Stones come and play for me while I'm in there? 1154 00:47:27,880 --> 00:47:29,680 What the hell are you talking about? Why is it so much? 1155 00:47:29,760 --> 00:47:30,840 Is it made out of panda? 1156 00:47:30,920 --> 00:47:32,280 I've used that somewhere else, but is it? 1157 00:47:32,840 --> 00:47:35,160 No, but you've made some terrific suggestions 1158 00:47:35,280 --> 00:47:36,560 and I'm gonna jot them down. 1159 00:47:36,640 --> 00:47:38,920 Are you a member of the Hilton Honors Rewards program? 1160 00:47:38,960 --> 00:47:40,000 No, I'm not. 1161 00:47:40,160 --> 00:47:42,280 Oh. That's too bad. You should join. 1162 00:47:42,360 --> 00:47:43,560 Yeah. 1163 00:47:44,160 --> 00:47:45,360 Yay! 1164 00:47:47,640 --> 00:47:49,520 Just got reamed. I mean, I got the rooms. 1165 00:47:50,080 --> 00:47:51,280 Who wants to go to the beach? 1166 00:47:51,360 --> 00:47:52,640 Me! 1167 00:47:52,840 --> 00:47:54,120 Who wants to start drinking? 1168 00:47:54,280 --> 00:47:56,000 BOTH: Me! 1169 00:47:56,840 --> 00:47:58,400 (POP MUSIC PLAYING) 1170 00:48:12,200 --> 00:48:13,600 Okay, yeah, 1171 00:48:13,680 --> 00:48:16,520 I would create a fake family for that. Oh, my God! 1172 00:48:16,640 --> 00:48:18,280 You know what? You're disgusting. 1173 00:48:18,560 --> 00:48:20,400 Mumsy, please do come in. 1174 00:48:20,440 --> 00:48:22,880 The water's as lovely as Westminster in May. 1175 00:48:23,040 --> 00:48:24,240 No, honey, I'm good. 1176 00:48:24,320 --> 00:48:25,720 I don't really feel like swimming right now. 1177 00:48:25,880 --> 00:48:28,160 What is this from, my Liebchen? 1178 00:48:28,240 --> 00:48:30,800 Don't you be intimidated by her whole thing right there, 1179 00:48:30,880 --> 00:48:32,160 which is perfect. 1180 00:48:32,240 --> 00:48:34,440 Oh, come on. Like she's intimidated. 1181 00:48:34,480 --> 00:48:36,560 I hope when I'm her age I look that good. 1182 00:48:36,680 --> 00:48:37,720 Yes, right? 1183 00:48:37,920 --> 00:48:39,480 You can look that good 1184 00:48:39,680 --> 00:48:41,880 if you don't take the elevators 1185 00:48:41,920 --> 00:48:44,920 and only take the stairs like Cary Grant. 1186 00:48:46,560 --> 00:48:49,400 Take the stairs. Take the stairs. 1187 00:48:50,720 --> 00:48:52,360 EDDIE: Hey, why are we stopped here? 1188 00:48:52,520 --> 00:48:53,600 Uh, what's the matter? 1189 00:48:53,680 --> 00:48:55,040 I can't look at engagement rings? 1190 00:48:55,200 --> 00:48:57,040 Engagement rings? Yeah, you heard me. 1191 00:48:57,240 --> 00:48:59,760 Look all you want, but you and I both know that 1192 00:48:59,920 --> 00:49:01,000 you're gonna get sick of this hottie 1193 00:49:01,040 --> 00:49:02,840 and you're gonna be back on the prowl next week. 1194 00:49:02,880 --> 00:49:04,760 Nope. I'm telling you, is this girl not cute? 1195 00:49:04,920 --> 00:49:06,040 Yeah, she's really cute. 1196 00:49:06,080 --> 00:49:07,200 Is she not the sweetest? 1197 00:49:07,280 --> 00:49:08,360 The nicest person I've ever met. 1198 00:49:08,520 --> 00:49:09,920 Did you ever see her lips? 1199 00:49:10,080 --> 00:49:11,440 I think she has the best lips I've ever seen. 1200 00:49:11,520 --> 00:49:13,760 They're like an inner tube and I just wanna sit on it. 1201 00:49:13,920 --> 00:49:15,240 You know what I mean? And just, like... 1202 00:49:15,600 --> 00:49:17,080 Do you want me to knock you out, or... 1203 00:49:17,600 --> 00:49:20,080 No, I'm saying you should sit on her lips. 1204 00:49:20,280 --> 00:49:21,400 Anyways... 1205 00:49:21,560 --> 00:49:24,200 You know, this whole situation reminds me of a song. 1206 00:49:24,400 --> 00:49:27,120 Danny is a big plastic surgeon 1207 00:49:27,280 --> 00:49:29,760 Who never had time for a wife 1208 00:49:30,040 --> 00:49:33,200 And he's friends with Davy Who's still in the Navy 1209 00:49:33,400 --> 00:49:35,080 Piano Man? Why Piano Man? 1210 00:49:35,240 --> 00:49:36,520 No, it's "Piano Dan." 1211 00:49:36,600 --> 00:49:38,240 That's based on your life. It's a little Eddie remix. 1212 00:49:38,480 --> 00:49:39,480 Uh-huh. 1213 00:49:39,560 --> 00:49:43,800 Eddie used to have an afro And pimples all over his face 1214 00:49:44,080 --> 00:49:47,200 So he popped and he poked 'em And Clearasil soaked 'em 1215 00:49:47,280 --> 00:49:49,320 But ladies still greet him with mace 1216 00:49:49,400 --> 00:49:50,560 (BLOWING RASPBERRY) 1217 00:49:51,400 --> 00:49:52,800 I was maced one time. 1218 00:49:52,960 --> 00:49:54,520 Five times. 1219 00:49:54,840 --> 00:49:56,120 (PEOPLE CHEERING) 1220 00:49:58,240 --> 00:50:01,080 So, guys, we're here to get to know each other better. 1221 00:50:01,160 --> 00:50:02,240 Yes. Yeah. 1222 00:50:02,320 --> 00:50:03,800 Dolph, let's start with you. 1223 00:50:03,960 --> 00:50:05,640 So, what line of work are you in? 1224 00:50:05,840 --> 00:50:09,600 Well, Palmer, I am in sheep. 1225 00:50:11,160 --> 00:50:12,760 I'm sorry. I don't know what you mean. 1226 00:50:13,240 --> 00:50:16,400 I am a sheep shipper. 1227 00:50:16,800 --> 00:50:17,920 Oh. Yes. 1228 00:50:18,000 --> 00:50:20,160 You know, people, they don't buy the sheep 1229 00:50:20,280 --> 00:50:21,800 from the local sheepherder anymore. 1230 00:50:22,320 --> 00:50:23,840 Really? They don't? 1231 00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:27,480 No, they don't. They go online! 1232 00:50:27,800 --> 00:50:29,440 Yes! They go on the Interweb, 1233 00:50:29,640 --> 00:50:33,920 to my website, gotprettysheep.com. 1234 00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:35,560 And leave this, please. Thank you. 1235 00:50:35,680 --> 00:50:37,840 Now, people go on. They see the pictures of the sheep, 1236 00:50:37,960 --> 00:50:39,360 and they pick the ones they want. 1237 00:50:39,440 --> 00:50:40,800 You know, it's like, "I want that one. 1238 00:50:40,840 --> 00:50:43,080 "You know, it's very stylish. You know, it's a stylish one." 1239 00:50:43,160 --> 00:50:45,640 Goes, "Oh, no, I want the shy one who doesn't want to baa." 1240 00:50:45,800 --> 00:50:47,360 Or they buy the sassy one, 1241 00:50:47,520 --> 00:50:50,920 who's like, "Hey, I see you, baa, baa." 1242 00:50:51,040 --> 00:50:52,640 So, what do the people do with these sheep? 1243 00:50:53,120 --> 00:50:55,800 Whatever they want! Sky is the limit. 1244 00:50:55,960 --> 00:50:57,480 You know, some have them as pets. 1245 00:50:57,560 --> 00:50:59,720 Some have them as security for the house. 1246 00:50:59,880 --> 00:51:01,160 A lot of the people... 1247 00:51:01,360 --> 00:51:03,280 The new thing is training them 1248 00:51:03,360 --> 00:51:06,000 to fight each other in the Sheep Fight Club. 1249 00:51:07,320 --> 00:51:09,200 Sheep Fight Clubs? 1250 00:51:09,360 --> 00:51:11,200 Yes. All the sheeps, they get together. 1251 00:51:11,280 --> 00:51:13,880 They baa, all you hear is, "Baa, baa, baa." 1252 00:51:14,040 --> 00:51:15,480 And then you see hoof, kick, hoof, kick, 1253 00:51:15,560 --> 00:51:17,320 hoof, kick, baa, baa, baa, baa, baa! 1254 00:51:17,480 --> 00:51:18,640 And then he's out. 1255 00:51:18,840 --> 00:51:22,240 And that is how we met. She bought a sheep from me. 1256 00:51:22,840 --> 00:51:24,080 Really? Why? 1257 00:51:24,240 --> 00:51:26,200 Children? Okay, tune out. 1258 00:51:26,360 --> 00:51:30,240 Okay, 'cause some secrets are coming out, all right? Some adult ones. 1259 00:51:30,400 --> 00:51:33,160 She likes to shave the sheep 1260 00:51:33,400 --> 00:51:37,560 for the pelt for the sex, sexuals, yes. 1261 00:51:37,920 --> 00:51:39,840 She has got a real fetish 1262 00:51:39,920 --> 00:51:41,240 for the wool and stuff, you know. 1263 00:51:41,360 --> 00:51:43,320 We do this thing called "sheepstenein." 1264 00:51:43,400 --> 00:51:44,440 (CLEARS THROAT) 1265 00:51:44,520 --> 00:51:46,480 Danny? Would you come with me, please? 1266 00:51:46,560 --> 00:51:47,880 Yeah. Absolutely. 1267 00:51:47,960 --> 00:51:49,360 So, we're gonna leave right now. 1268 00:51:49,440 --> 00:51:51,200 So you guys play that game that we always love to play, 1269 00:51:51,280 --> 00:51:52,320 Nobody Talk game. 1270 00:51:52,400 --> 00:51:53,560 And start now. 1271 00:51:53,720 --> 00:51:56,040 I'm sorry, we're leaving. I can't do it. No. 1272 00:51:56,080 --> 00:51:57,360 I'm gonna kill that guy. He's lost it. 1273 00:51:57,440 --> 00:51:58,920 He was going sheep-crazy, I'll give you that. 1274 00:51:59,000 --> 00:52:00,240 Where is your hand right now? 1275 00:52:00,320 --> 00:52:01,520 You wanna see where it is? 1276 00:52:01,600 --> 00:52:03,040 It's not even here anymore! It's gone! 1277 00:52:03,120 --> 00:52:04,160 How about I beat him up? 1278 00:52:04,240 --> 00:52:05,920 You can beat him up with me. It'll be fun. 1279 00:52:06,080 --> 00:52:07,720 I don't want to! I have to go. 1280 00:52:07,840 --> 00:52:09,880 Don't bail on me right now! Don't make that face at me. 1281 00:52:09,960 --> 00:52:11,120 I cannot stand that face. 1282 00:52:11,200 --> 00:52:12,280 DEVLIN: Katherine? 1283 00:52:12,440 --> 00:52:14,200 Katherine Murphy? 1284 00:52:14,880 --> 00:52:17,960 Oh, my God, Devlin Adams. 1285 00:52:18,320 --> 00:52:20,200 (SHRIEKING) 1286 00:52:20,240 --> 00:52:21,800 Devlin? Devlin as in taking a... 1287 00:52:21,880 --> 00:52:23,920 Taking? From what I see... 1288 00:52:24,040 --> 00:52:26,240 It's my favorite college Devlin! 1289 00:52:27,080 --> 00:52:30,240 Both of us here at this resort at the same time. 1290 00:52:30,960 --> 00:52:33,080 I didn't know you came to places like this. 1291 00:52:33,120 --> 00:52:34,200 Here we go. 1292 00:52:34,280 --> 00:52:35,280 Honey! 1293 00:52:35,400 --> 00:52:37,080 Honey, I want you to meet someone. 1294 00:52:37,760 --> 00:52:41,240 This is one of my best friends from my sorority. 1295 00:52:41,320 --> 00:52:44,080 Katherine, this is my husband, lan Maxtone Jones. 1296 00:52:44,200 --> 00:52:45,240 Pleasure. 1297 00:52:45,320 --> 00:52:48,160 You might've heard of him. He invented the iPod. 1298 00:52:48,440 --> 00:52:51,440 Well, of course he did. The iPod. 1299 00:52:51,640 --> 00:52:53,800 The idea just came to me in the shower. 1300 00:52:54,160 --> 00:52:57,480 A shower that I was taking with Devlin. 1301 00:52:57,560 --> 00:52:58,600 (GIGGLING) 1302 00:53:00,000 --> 00:53:03,280 So, this is a cabana you guys got yourselves here, huh? 1303 00:53:03,480 --> 00:53:05,840 Because my skin is so white. I don't like to get it burned. 1304 00:53:06,000 --> 00:53:07,680 Even at night? 1305 00:53:08,000 --> 00:53:09,400 Well, in Hawaii, you never know with the sun. 1306 00:53:09,480 --> 00:53:10,600 Very, very strong. 1307 00:53:11,800 --> 00:53:13,560 So you mean like a moonburn or... 1308 00:53:13,640 --> 00:53:14,880 (LAUGHS) 1309 00:53:14,960 --> 00:53:17,120 You look fantastic. Oh... 1310 00:53:17,280 --> 00:53:18,520 You look great. 1311 00:53:18,600 --> 00:53:21,840 I'm so glad you got your teeth fixed. Much better. 1312 00:53:22,520 --> 00:53:26,600 You are just the same glorious Devlin that I remember. 1313 00:53:26,680 --> 00:53:29,520 Oh, my God, I ran into Sandra Wernick last month. 1314 00:53:30,360 --> 00:53:33,480 The poor thing. She's already divorced and she has a child. 1315 00:53:33,840 --> 00:53:36,360 She's a single mother. It's a disaster. 1316 00:53:36,480 --> 00:53:38,040 I feel so bad for her. 1317 00:53:38,320 --> 00:53:39,840 Are you married? 1318 00:53:40,200 --> 00:53:41,760 Mmm-hmm. Yes. 1319 00:53:41,880 --> 00:53:45,760 Oh! I've neglected to introduce you to Danny, 1320 00:53:45,800 --> 00:53:50,600 Daniel Leroy Maccabee Ill, my husband. 1321 00:53:51,000 --> 00:53:52,840 Yes. If you want me to stay, 1322 00:53:52,920 --> 00:53:54,040 will you just go with it, honey? 1323 00:53:54,200 --> 00:53:55,600 Come here and please meet Devlin and lan. 1324 00:53:55,640 --> 00:53:58,280 Hey. This is Daniel. 1325 00:53:58,520 --> 00:53:59,760 IPod, what's up? How are you? 1326 00:53:59,840 --> 00:54:00,880 I'm fine. 1327 00:54:01,040 --> 00:54:03,040 Invented it. Pleasure. I heard. 1328 00:54:03,120 --> 00:54:06,000 Devlin, I think I spoke about you with my wife 1329 00:54:06,080 --> 00:54:07,840 in the bathroom one or two times, right? 1330 00:54:07,880 --> 00:54:09,040 We did. 1331 00:54:09,120 --> 00:54:10,480 Number two. 1332 00:54:10,560 --> 00:54:12,200 We did it twice, yes. 1333 00:54:12,320 --> 00:54:14,960 So, chief, tell me, what do you do for a living? 1334 00:54:15,040 --> 00:54:17,080 I'm also an inventor, just like you. 1335 00:54:17,160 --> 00:54:18,800 I invented the barking hand. 1336 00:54:18,920 --> 00:54:20,640 (BARKING) (EXCLAIMS) 1337 00:54:20,720 --> 00:54:22,320 I got you. But you're sunburned? 1338 00:54:22,720 --> 00:54:23,920 No. What? 1339 00:54:24,320 --> 00:54:25,760 You are a surgeon. 1340 00:54:25,840 --> 00:54:28,560 He's a plastic surgeon, and he's one of the best 1341 00:54:28,760 --> 00:54:30,400 according to Los Angeles Magazine. 1342 00:54:30,840 --> 00:54:32,000 Touchdown! 1343 00:54:32,080 --> 00:54:33,880 Yes. Well, that, yeah. 1344 00:54:34,040 --> 00:54:35,080 Touched it down. 1345 00:54:35,240 --> 00:54:37,520 We gotta go back. We have to run. It was great to see you. 1346 00:54:37,680 --> 00:54:39,200 We have to get back to our kids. So... 1347 00:54:39,520 --> 00:54:40,600 You have kids? 1348 00:54:40,680 --> 00:54:43,000 Mmm-hmm. Yeah, two, actually. 1349 00:54:43,080 --> 00:54:45,280 We couldn't wait to start creating lives. 1350 00:54:45,320 --> 00:54:48,520 And by the way, I created these children 1351 00:54:48,600 --> 00:54:50,240 in the shower. Right? 1352 00:54:50,360 --> 00:54:51,880 You did. You know what I'm saying, homeboy? 1353 00:54:51,960 --> 00:54:53,880 (DANNY AND KATHERINE LAUGHING) 1354 00:54:53,960 --> 00:54:55,040 That is funny. 1355 00:54:55,120 --> 00:54:56,600 Wow, you've been together a long time. 1356 00:54:56,960 --> 00:54:58,600 Am I gonna leave this girl? Look at her. 1357 00:54:58,800 --> 00:54:59,920 Still gets the flag up the pole, 1358 00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:01,280 if you know what I mean. 1359 00:55:01,440 --> 00:55:03,920 Bing-bang. An iRod, I should say. 1360 00:55:04,040 --> 00:55:05,600 Oh. Come on, hit that. Why'd you leave me hanging so long? 1361 00:55:05,720 --> 00:55:07,720 You're so clever. That's so silly. 1362 00:55:07,840 --> 00:55:09,280 The four of us should get together 1363 00:55:09,320 --> 00:55:10,640 and have dinner one night. 1364 00:55:10,720 --> 00:55:13,240 Oh! That would be almost like a dream of mine. 1365 00:55:13,320 --> 00:55:17,320 If we could ever get ourselves out of the bedroom. 1366 00:55:17,440 --> 00:55:19,760 Katherine Murphy, look at you! 1367 00:55:19,840 --> 00:55:23,120 Oh, no, not Murphy anymore. Leroy Maccabee. 1368 00:55:23,200 --> 00:55:24,280 That's right. 1369 00:55:24,360 --> 00:55:28,360 The third. Anyway, so it was great to see you and meet you, lan. 1370 00:55:28,520 --> 00:55:30,520 The big E. Love the Shuffle, by the way. 1371 00:55:30,680 --> 00:55:32,800 Good to meet you. Bye! Thanks. You, too! 1372 00:55:33,000 --> 00:55:35,000 What are you talking about? She was nice. 1373 00:55:35,200 --> 00:55:37,200 I'm gonna kill you. Come on. You need me, though, right? 1374 00:55:37,280 --> 00:55:38,440 I don't believe that just happened. 1375 00:55:38,480 --> 00:55:39,800 I like that you need me. How's that make you feel? 1376 00:55:39,880 --> 00:55:42,440 Please, it feels like a car door just slowly shut on my soul. 1377 00:55:42,520 --> 00:55:43,680 Come here! Listen. What? 1378 00:55:43,880 --> 00:55:45,040 Do you know how I feel right now? 1379 00:55:45,200 --> 00:55:46,240 You were getting me so upset, 1380 00:55:46,320 --> 00:55:47,360 bringing me into that web of lies. 1381 00:55:47,520 --> 00:55:48,560 My hand's right here right now. 1382 00:55:48,640 --> 00:55:49,760 Oh, my hand's right there. 1383 00:55:49,840 --> 00:55:51,000 You know what? I hate you right now. 1384 00:55:51,160 --> 00:55:53,160 I've gotta write out a bunch of index cards 1385 00:55:53,240 --> 00:55:54,920 just to keep up with these lies. 1386 00:55:55,000 --> 00:55:56,920 Yeah, and you're gonna make me copies, too. And one more thing. 1387 00:55:56,960 --> 00:55:57,960 (BARKING) 1388 00:55:58,040 --> 00:55:59,040 (LAUGHING) 1389 00:55:59,120 --> 00:56:00,120 (EXCLAIMS) 1390 00:56:02,040 --> 00:56:02,240 DANNY: Oh, my God, why are we leaving the hotel right now? 1391 00:56:02,280 --> 00:56:04,720 DANNY: Oh, my God, why are we leaving the hotel right now? 1392 00:56:04,800 --> 00:56:06,240 Why did you wake me up? 1393 00:56:06,320 --> 00:56:07,440 Because, Grandpa, 1394 00:56:07,520 --> 00:56:10,400 I signed us up for the all-day adventure tour. 1395 00:56:10,480 --> 00:56:13,240 We're gonna go hiking in the rainforest, and kayaking down rivers 1396 00:56:13,320 --> 00:56:15,040 and swimming under waterfalls. 1397 00:56:15,120 --> 00:56:17,160 Swimming. I hope you mean skinny-dipping. 1398 00:56:17,240 --> 00:56:18,680 I'm gonna suggest swimming. 1399 00:56:19,560 --> 00:56:21,520 I, however, am fine with some man nudity, Danny. 1400 00:56:21,720 --> 00:56:25,360 Okay, so Swiss Family nightmare is coming with us. 1401 00:56:25,560 --> 00:56:27,240 That's so we can bond? 1402 00:56:27,400 --> 00:56:29,360 Oh, that'll be great! 1403 00:56:33,040 --> 00:56:35,080 MAGGIE: It's bloody breathtaking out here! 1404 00:56:35,240 --> 00:56:37,240 Is this where the blue Avatar people live? 1405 00:56:37,440 --> 00:56:40,000 Yeah, the blue Avatar people and I think that black pig. 1406 00:56:40,600 --> 00:56:42,440 KATHERINE: Where? The pig. 1407 00:56:42,600 --> 00:56:44,440 Look, how cute. Looks like Babe. 1408 00:56:44,480 --> 00:56:45,600 (SQUEALING) 1409 00:56:45,880 --> 00:56:47,880 Oh, my God! Go, Go! 1410 00:56:48,080 --> 00:56:49,720 Come on, go, go! 1411 00:56:51,520 --> 00:56:52,760 (SCREAMING) 1412 00:56:53,120 --> 00:56:54,760 The pig is eating my body! 1413 00:56:55,040 --> 00:56:56,920 (CANARYIN A CO ALMINE PLAYING) 1414 00:57:06,280 --> 00:57:07,720 (DANNY GROANING) 1415 00:57:14,320 --> 00:57:15,320 (GROANS) 1416 00:57:15,760 --> 00:57:17,880 Keep your eyes on the river, sweetheart. 1417 00:57:18,080 --> 00:57:20,640 Yes. I was looking at the canyon. (GIGGLES) 1418 00:57:26,400 --> 00:57:28,640 Hey, what're you guys doing? 1419 00:57:28,800 --> 00:57:32,120 That bridge can only handle one person at a time! 1420 00:57:32,440 --> 00:57:33,440 (ALL SCREAMING) 1421 00:57:33,560 --> 00:57:34,720 Go, go, go! 1422 00:57:34,800 --> 00:57:36,960 DANNY: What'd he say? What'd you say? 1423 00:57:38,280 --> 00:57:39,560 (SCREAMS) 1424 00:57:39,640 --> 00:57:40,720 (LAUGHING) 1425 00:57:40,800 --> 00:57:44,000 Holy Devlin! Ow! 1426 00:57:44,840 --> 00:57:46,000 EDDIE: Come on, let's go. 1427 00:57:46,160 --> 00:57:48,880 Piggyback times are magical times, aren't they? 1428 00:57:48,960 --> 00:57:50,960 Yeah, aren't they? You're warping my spine now. 1429 00:57:51,080 --> 00:57:52,440 (EXCLAIMS) 1430 00:57:53,480 --> 00:57:55,240 I think Kiki slipped. 1431 00:57:57,080 --> 00:58:00,400 Oh, Father, I just love spending time with you! 1432 00:58:02,640 --> 00:58:04,600 Oh, my God! 1433 00:58:05,920 --> 00:58:07,400 You guys, look at this! 1434 00:58:07,560 --> 00:58:09,520 KATHERINE: Oh, my God! MAGGIE: It's lovely! 1435 00:58:09,600 --> 00:58:11,960 KATHERINE: Wow! That is unbelievable. 1436 00:58:12,280 --> 00:58:15,360 I don't know about you guys, but I am gonna go cool off. 1437 00:58:15,520 --> 00:58:17,200 Really? There could be black pigs in there. 1438 00:58:17,600 --> 00:58:19,080 I agree. 1439 00:58:19,240 --> 00:58:20,800 Look at that. That's terrific. 1440 00:58:21,320 --> 00:58:24,480 Does the hotel know you took those pillows, honey? (CHUCKLES) 1441 00:58:25,680 --> 00:58:27,800 She really wears that bikini well. 1442 00:58:28,040 --> 00:58:29,160 Yeah. 1443 00:58:29,280 --> 00:58:32,520 You know what she'd wear well? Dental floss and a pirate hat. 1444 00:58:32,720 --> 00:58:34,320 Don't say that. Absolutely gross. 1445 00:58:36,800 --> 00:58:38,120 EDDIE: Oh, my God! Gorgeous! 1446 00:58:38,280 --> 00:58:39,320 KATHERINE: Perfect. 1447 00:58:39,440 --> 00:58:42,480 That was a ten! A perfect ten! Yay! 1448 00:58:43,120 --> 00:58:45,640 So, Al Jolson, you mind jumping in the water 1449 00:58:45,720 --> 00:58:48,000 and also screaming on the way down, "I love my daddy"? 1450 00:58:48,120 --> 00:58:49,560 Okay. 1451 00:58:50,280 --> 00:58:51,360 Yeah, do it, do it for me. 1452 00:58:51,560 --> 00:58:53,000 Do it for Da-da. KATHERINE: I love my daddy. 1453 00:58:53,040 --> 00:58:55,160 Daddy is my favorite adult! 1454 00:58:56,280 --> 00:58:58,360 (WHOOPS) You're paying her enough for this, right? 1455 00:58:58,520 --> 00:59:01,400 And I love you, my little British crumpet! 1456 00:59:02,480 --> 00:59:04,200 All right, homeboy, you're up next. Let's go. 1457 00:59:04,360 --> 00:59:05,960 Come up with something on your own. 1458 00:59:07,960 --> 00:59:09,400 You gotta squeeze out another log? 1459 00:59:09,560 --> 00:59:11,240 What happened? What'd he whisper to you? 1460 00:59:11,800 --> 00:59:13,200 Water's too deep. 1461 00:59:13,360 --> 00:59:14,760 Water's too deep for what? 1462 00:59:14,920 --> 00:59:16,040 He can't swim. 1463 00:59:16,520 --> 00:59:18,120 He can't swim? 1464 00:59:18,480 --> 00:59:20,960 And you wanna swim with the dolphins? 1465 00:59:21,040 --> 00:59:22,880 That makes a lot of sense. 1466 00:59:23,680 --> 00:59:25,160 Hadn't thought it through. 1467 00:59:25,360 --> 00:59:27,000 No kidding you didn't think it through. 1468 00:59:27,200 --> 00:59:28,920 Thought about spending all my money, though, didn't you? 1469 00:59:29,040 --> 00:59:31,440 Danny! I'm saying, I'm not the kid's... 1470 00:59:31,480 --> 00:59:33,880 Okay. No one taught you how to swim, huh? 1471 00:59:34,240 --> 00:59:37,600 Well, my dad's supposed to, but he's busy. 1472 00:59:37,880 --> 00:59:39,840 Uh-huh. Busy being an idiot. 1473 00:59:51,200 --> 00:59:54,600 You guys have to come in, the water feels magical! 1474 00:59:54,960 --> 00:59:58,360 I got something magical, too. Right in the downstairs area. 1475 00:59:58,520 --> 01:00:00,120 I don't high-five when it's... 1476 01:00:00,280 --> 01:00:01,400 Downstairs area! 1477 01:00:01,600 --> 01:00:03,200 No, put it away. Sorry. No, stop. 1478 01:00:03,360 --> 01:00:06,200 You know what? I think Mommy's gonna explore the magical waters. 1479 01:00:06,280 --> 01:00:08,280 Honey, are you okay to hang out here with fake Daddy? 1480 01:00:08,880 --> 01:00:09,960 Sure. 1481 01:00:10,080 --> 01:00:11,600 Really? You're gonna get undressed? 1482 01:00:11,680 --> 01:00:12,680 What are you doing? 1483 01:00:12,880 --> 01:00:14,440 What? You got a bathing cap, too? 1484 01:00:14,560 --> 01:00:15,720 You're the worst. 1485 01:00:15,800 --> 01:00:18,760 A 1920s swimming gown on, honey? 1486 01:00:19,200 --> 01:00:21,040 Don't do it. Don't take it off. 1487 01:00:35,000 --> 01:00:37,120 Yeah. I have to be alone. 1488 01:00:37,280 --> 01:00:38,440 Okay. 1489 01:00:42,120 --> 01:00:44,280 God, I gotta start taking the stairs more. 1490 01:00:44,400 --> 01:00:45,480 Don't buy that line. 1491 01:00:45,600 --> 01:00:47,920 She takes spinning classes like they're M&M's. 1492 01:00:54,800 --> 01:00:56,520 I think he's wearing my underwear. 1493 01:00:58,920 --> 01:01:00,080 What is he doing? 1494 01:01:00,520 --> 01:01:02,440 Yo, I guarantee you fall! 1495 01:01:02,800 --> 01:01:03,960 I'm all set. 1496 01:01:04,040 --> 01:01:05,280 (EXCLAIMING) 1497 01:01:06,800 --> 01:01:07,760 Ow! 1498 01:01:08,120 --> 01:01:09,520 Thank you, God. 1499 01:01:13,000 --> 01:01:14,640 I wanna climb Palmer Mountain, 1500 01:01:14,680 --> 01:01:16,440 so what do you say we get rid of these kids? 1501 01:01:16,480 --> 01:01:19,160 No. They had them last night. It's our turn. 1502 01:01:19,280 --> 01:01:21,680 Isn't that how things work? We alternate? 1503 01:01:21,760 --> 01:01:23,200 What? No. 1504 01:01:23,320 --> 01:01:26,160 I get the kids... I had them today. 1505 01:01:26,280 --> 01:01:27,560 That counted as a "me" day 1506 01:01:27,640 --> 01:01:28,760 and then she gets them at night. 1507 01:01:28,840 --> 01:01:30,040 That's how we do it. Oh. 1508 01:01:30,480 --> 01:01:32,800 Dolph, Devlin, do you want us to watch the kids 1509 01:01:32,880 --> 01:01:34,960 so that you guys can have a little alone time? 1510 01:01:35,280 --> 01:01:37,200 I don't think... Yes! Absoshnutely! 1511 01:01:37,280 --> 01:01:38,560 We are sleeping together! 1512 01:01:38,640 --> 01:01:40,480 You guys have your own beds and it's our time! 1513 01:01:40,560 --> 01:01:43,200 So we're gonna watch them. Good. 1514 01:01:44,880 --> 01:01:46,640 You guys wanna come take a look at the balcony? 1515 01:01:46,680 --> 01:01:47,840 I think I saw some dolphins around here. 1516 01:01:47,960 --> 01:01:51,200 Dolphins? Hey, he loves those, right? Dolphins. 1517 01:01:51,320 --> 01:01:52,400 Sorry. Okay, go. 1518 01:01:52,480 --> 01:01:53,840 All right, let go. Come on. 1519 01:01:53,920 --> 01:01:55,320 Get the dolphins. Bye, you guys. 1520 01:01:55,360 --> 01:01:57,080 That's why we're here, the dolphins. 1521 01:01:57,120 --> 01:01:58,240 See you out there. 1522 01:01:58,400 --> 01:01:59,840 Listen, if anything happens 1523 01:01:59,920 --> 01:02:01,480 and you need any... And I mean anything, 1524 01:02:01,560 --> 01:02:02,720 you have to call me. 1525 01:02:02,840 --> 01:02:04,320 I'm good at this, I swear to you. 1526 01:02:04,400 --> 01:02:06,520 I used to baby-sit Eddie when we were children. 1527 01:02:06,920 --> 01:02:08,960 Eddie is your fault? No, no, no. 1528 01:02:09,040 --> 01:02:10,840 But I want you to enjoy tonight. 1529 01:02:10,920 --> 01:02:12,000 Come on, it's like a free night. 1530 01:02:12,080 --> 01:02:13,520 You can do whatever you want. 1531 01:02:13,600 --> 01:02:15,440 You can knit yourself some socks 1532 01:02:15,480 --> 01:02:17,440 or shock people with your sneaky hot body. 1533 01:02:17,520 --> 01:02:19,240 I don't know what you're talking about. Cary Grant? 1534 01:02:19,400 --> 01:02:20,720 I'm just gonna sit in my room 1535 01:02:20,840 --> 01:02:23,360 and worry about you and them and everything. 1536 01:02:23,440 --> 01:02:25,280 What about just hang out platonically 1537 01:02:25,360 --> 01:02:27,000 with Eddie tonight? Have some dinner? 1538 01:02:27,080 --> 01:02:28,440 Or is he not good enough? 1539 01:02:28,520 --> 01:02:31,520 You need Brian, the guy from Foghat, around here. 1540 01:02:31,720 --> 01:02:32,920 That really bothered you 1541 01:02:32,960 --> 01:02:34,880 that I went to lunch with that guy. 1542 01:02:34,960 --> 01:02:36,520 What do you mean, you went to lunch with him? 1543 01:02:36,560 --> 01:02:38,560 I told you I was going to lunch with him. 1544 01:02:38,720 --> 01:02:40,440 I thought it was he asked you to lunch 1545 01:02:40,520 --> 01:02:41,760 and you were gonna like scoff at it. 1546 01:02:41,880 --> 01:02:44,200 But you did? You fell for his charms? 1547 01:02:44,680 --> 01:02:47,040 I don't even understand what this is. 1548 01:02:47,120 --> 01:02:48,440 It's the beard, man. 1549 01:02:48,680 --> 01:02:49,840 It doesn't move! 1550 01:02:50,040 --> 01:02:52,720 Well, yeah, in the wind, man. It's flapping around. 1551 01:02:52,880 --> 01:02:54,360 All right. You know what? I'll tell you this. 1552 01:02:54,440 --> 01:02:56,960 The guy made it through an entire lunch with a woman 1553 01:02:57,080 --> 01:02:58,680 without making up a fake life. 1554 01:02:59,120 --> 01:03:00,320 Ah. 1555 01:03:00,880 --> 01:03:02,080 You just hurt me. 1556 01:03:02,480 --> 01:03:05,240 That was not nice, but it was the truth. 1557 01:03:05,320 --> 01:03:07,400 And I speak the truth. 1558 01:03:07,480 --> 01:03:09,120 Please pay attention to my children. 1559 01:03:09,240 --> 01:03:10,360 Everything will be nice. 1560 01:03:10,480 --> 01:03:13,240 They serve room service in the hallway. 1561 01:03:13,640 --> 01:03:15,760 I'm so nauseous. Okay. Bye. 1562 01:03:19,320 --> 01:03:21,040 Alone at last! 1563 01:03:21,160 --> 01:03:22,440 (WHIMPERING) 1564 01:03:23,680 --> 01:03:24,880 (COUGHS) 1565 01:03:25,920 --> 01:03:27,520 Let's play the game. 1566 01:03:27,600 --> 01:03:29,640 We were doing so good with the game. 1567 01:03:30,480 --> 01:03:34,320 "If you could be one person besides yourself, 1568 01:03:34,600 --> 01:03:35,720 "who would you be?" 1569 01:03:36,640 --> 01:03:38,520 Rachael Ray, because I've always 1570 01:03:38,560 --> 01:03:39,600 wanted to know how to cook. 1571 01:03:39,680 --> 01:03:41,440 Really? Oh, she's darling. 1572 01:03:41,680 --> 01:03:44,200 You know what? I don't really wanna be anyone else. 1573 01:03:44,280 --> 01:03:46,960 I'm happy with who I am. I choose me. 1574 01:03:47,320 --> 01:03:49,320 Or Captain Kirk. Either one. 1575 01:03:49,400 --> 01:03:51,200 See, that's a good one. All right. 1576 01:03:51,360 --> 01:03:52,520 What about you, Bart? 1577 01:03:53,840 --> 01:03:55,600 Mr. DeCesare. 1578 01:03:55,960 --> 01:03:58,000 Our mailman? Why? 1579 01:03:58,640 --> 01:04:02,040 He just seems like he's got it all figured out. 1580 01:04:02,280 --> 01:04:03,840 We're getting deep. 1581 01:04:04,440 --> 01:04:07,160 Okay, moving on. Uh... 1582 01:04:07,640 --> 01:04:10,960 Okay. "Name something that makes you sad." 1583 01:04:12,600 --> 01:04:16,800 That Judi Dench has never won the Oscar for Best Actress. 1584 01:04:17,840 --> 01:04:19,600 (CRYING) It's a travesty. 1585 01:04:20,840 --> 01:04:22,960 That 'N Sync broke up. 1586 01:04:24,040 --> 01:04:26,360 Yeah. That was rough on all of us. 1587 01:04:26,880 --> 01:04:28,640 (SOFTLY) Who's 'N Sync? 1588 01:04:29,560 --> 01:04:31,840 Sadness. Bart, you're up. 1589 01:04:33,000 --> 01:04:35,040 I don't wanna say mine. 1590 01:04:35,200 --> 01:04:36,960 Okay. Let's move on then. 1591 01:04:37,120 --> 01:04:38,200 Hey! 1592 01:04:38,320 --> 01:04:40,480 Honey, come on. You can share anything with us. 1593 01:04:40,640 --> 01:04:41,680 Yeah, share. 1594 01:04:41,760 --> 01:04:43,480 He looks like he's about to lose it, but okay. 1595 01:04:44,760 --> 01:04:47,840 When my dad doesn't have time for me. 1596 01:04:48,840 --> 01:04:50,160 Come on, it's okay. 1597 01:04:50,360 --> 01:04:53,400 We're okay. We're okay. It's fine. 1598 01:04:53,480 --> 01:04:56,160 It's all gonna be okay. Come on. 1599 01:04:56,200 --> 01:04:58,360 We don't need him in our lives. 1600 01:04:58,840 --> 01:04:59,840 Wow. 1601 01:04:59,920 --> 01:05:01,240 No, no, no, he's... 1602 01:05:01,320 --> 01:05:02,560 MAGGIE: We're okay. It's fine. 1603 01:05:02,720 --> 01:05:04,160 It's all gonna be okay. 1604 01:05:04,720 --> 01:05:06,200 This has nothing to... 1605 01:05:06,280 --> 01:05:08,600 This is, like, from a long time ago! 1606 01:05:10,000 --> 01:05:11,680 It's okay. 1607 01:05:13,520 --> 01:05:14,520 What are you doing? 1608 01:05:15,200 --> 01:05:17,280 DANNY: Well, that was a major setback. 1609 01:05:17,880 --> 01:05:20,360 "When my dad doesn't have time for me." (IMITATES CRYING) 1610 01:05:21,080 --> 01:05:22,320 We're sorry. 1611 01:05:22,400 --> 01:05:23,560 I know you're sorry. 1612 01:05:23,640 --> 01:05:25,400 I know you got real stuff going on with your family. 1613 01:05:25,560 --> 01:05:26,760 And it's painful. 1614 01:05:26,840 --> 01:05:28,720 But you gotta just hold it in 1615 01:05:28,800 --> 01:05:30,400 till you get to the mainland again. 1616 01:05:30,520 --> 01:05:31,720 You're the ones who wanted to come here 1617 01:05:31,800 --> 01:05:32,960 and go swimming with the dolphins 1618 01:05:33,040 --> 01:05:35,200 or standing with the dolphins because you can't swim. 1619 01:05:35,440 --> 01:05:37,400 Can you act professional? BOTH: Yes, sir. 1620 01:05:37,440 --> 01:05:39,600 For at least two more days, until I kill you off 1621 01:05:39,680 --> 01:05:41,760 in a boarding school train accident? 1622 01:05:42,040 --> 01:05:43,600 I thought it was a car accident. 1623 01:05:43,760 --> 01:05:44,760 I don't know. Either that 1624 01:05:44,840 --> 01:05:46,200 or a science explosion, just something. 1625 01:05:46,280 --> 01:05:48,520 You're gonna be dead soon. That's the good news. Okay? 1626 01:05:48,600 --> 01:05:50,800 So, can you just focus for a few more days? 1627 01:05:50,920 --> 01:05:52,240 BOTH: Yes. Good. 1628 01:05:52,400 --> 01:05:54,920 So, give me some fake hugs right now and laugh real loud 1629 01:05:55,000 --> 01:05:56,280 like we're the happiest family on earth. 1630 01:05:56,440 --> 01:05:57,920 Okay. Is that possible? 1631 01:05:58,080 --> 01:06:00,480 And laughing, laughing, laughing. 1632 01:06:00,640 --> 01:06:03,080 Okay, that's it. Laugh louder, louder. 1633 01:06:03,160 --> 01:06:05,520 (LAUGHING LOUDLY) 1634 01:06:05,600 --> 01:06:07,040 DANNY: I love you guys! 1635 01:06:07,120 --> 01:06:09,600 Hey, sweetie! What's going on? What's up? 1636 01:06:09,800 --> 01:06:12,800 So, kids, I just got off the phone with your mom 1637 01:06:13,000 --> 01:06:15,480 and you guys are gonna have plenty of time 1638 01:06:15,560 --> 01:06:17,000 to spend with your dad tomorrow 1639 01:06:17,080 --> 01:06:20,240 because she and I are gonna have a nice, long spa day. 1640 01:06:20,320 --> 01:06:21,400 ALL: Aw! 1641 01:06:21,480 --> 01:06:24,480 Awesome! Awesome, awesome. 1642 01:06:24,680 --> 01:06:26,520 You guys are so... 1643 01:06:26,920 --> 01:06:29,560 I'll see you in a minute, okay? I love you. 1644 01:06:31,720 --> 01:06:32,880 (KIDS EXCLAIMING) 1645 01:06:32,960 --> 01:06:34,760 Okay, he's losing it. Okay, good night. 1646 01:06:34,800 --> 01:06:35,920 He's losing it. 1647 01:06:36,000 --> 01:06:39,000 DANNY: All right, here we go. Everybody out. 1648 01:06:41,000 --> 01:06:42,480 So, what are we doing? 1649 01:06:42,640 --> 01:06:45,000 Palmer forgot her camera in the room 1650 01:06:45,120 --> 01:06:46,560 so I'm gonna have a surprise for her 1651 01:06:46,640 --> 01:06:48,040 when she gets back from the spa. 1652 01:06:48,120 --> 01:06:49,480 MAGGIE: A stolen camera? 1653 01:06:49,520 --> 01:06:52,120 No, some pictures of us having a great time 1654 01:06:52,280 --> 01:06:54,840 reassuring her of all the fun we have together. 1655 01:06:56,120 --> 01:06:58,880 I forgot to flush the toilet before I left the hotel. 1656 01:06:59,280 --> 01:07:00,720 So she's gonna have two surprises. 1657 01:07:00,760 --> 01:07:04,000 Okay. No one's supposed to crap as much as you do. 1658 01:07:04,120 --> 01:07:06,360 You gotta look into that Pepto Bismol or something. 1659 01:07:06,520 --> 01:07:08,640 Here's your putters. Bing. 1660 01:07:09,040 --> 01:07:10,560 And a bam. Thank you. 1661 01:07:10,640 --> 01:07:13,640 Let's just look right in the camera. And we're having fun. 1662 01:07:13,840 --> 01:07:15,640 And we're a family. We love each other. 1663 01:07:16,320 --> 01:07:17,520 And boo! (SHUTTER CLICKS) 1664 01:07:17,880 --> 01:07:20,320 All right, let's do the old Michael-hit-a-putt shot. Okay? 1665 01:07:20,400 --> 01:07:22,360 So boom, that's in the hole. 1666 01:07:22,480 --> 01:07:23,640 And you're excited about that, 1667 01:07:23,720 --> 01:07:26,760 and we're happy for him, and... (EXCLAIMS) (SHUTTER CLICKS) 1668 01:07:27,080 --> 01:07:29,200 Maggie just hit the ball, but you followed through too much 1669 01:07:29,320 --> 01:07:30,720 and it made you fall on your back. 1670 01:07:30,800 --> 01:07:32,160 Okay, but... Look at this. 1671 01:07:32,240 --> 01:07:34,480 You're laughing, but I'm a concerned father, so I'm like, 1672 01:07:34,560 --> 01:07:36,440 "Oh, my God." (SHUTTER CLICKS) 1673 01:07:36,760 --> 01:07:38,360 All right, now, 1674 01:07:38,480 --> 01:07:40,520 let's just laugh at something I say, because I'm a funny dad. 1675 01:07:40,600 --> 01:07:42,560 You're very close with me, and you think I'm funny, and... 1676 01:07:42,720 --> 01:07:43,960 Why are we always laughing? 1677 01:07:44,000 --> 01:07:45,360 Is there something wrong with us? 1678 01:07:45,840 --> 01:07:48,360 No. You're just amused by everything I say. So, here we go. 1679 01:07:48,440 --> 01:07:50,920 Can we take a break? Do something really fun? 1680 01:07:51,040 --> 01:07:52,720 No, we're not doing anything fun, man. 1681 01:07:52,800 --> 01:07:54,400 We're here to fake having fun. 1682 01:07:54,480 --> 01:07:55,640 Come on. Right to the camera. 1683 01:07:55,720 --> 01:07:58,600 Don't worry. We never have fun with our real dad either. 1684 01:07:59,600 --> 01:08:01,200 Oh, man. 1685 01:08:01,720 --> 01:08:03,920 (SIGHS) All right. How's this? 1686 01:08:04,000 --> 01:08:05,520 I'll teach you how to swim, okay? 1687 01:08:05,600 --> 01:08:07,360 Before your mother gets back 1688 01:08:07,440 --> 01:08:09,920 from the "spa day" in four hours? 1689 01:08:10,080 --> 01:08:11,760 Is that even possible? Yeah. 1690 01:08:11,880 --> 01:08:13,680 But we're gonna take one more picture, if you don't mind. 1691 01:08:13,880 --> 01:08:16,040 Make that two pictures. Maggie. 1692 01:08:17,440 --> 01:08:18,840 Throw this straight in the air. Make it look like... 1693 01:08:18,920 --> 01:08:20,600 On the count of three, one, two, three. (SHUTTER CLICKS) 1694 01:08:20,680 --> 01:08:21,760 Okay. 1695 01:08:21,880 --> 01:08:23,400 Now, Michael, lay down. 1696 01:08:24,360 --> 01:08:26,360 On your back. And... 1697 01:08:26,440 --> 01:08:28,880 Yeah, all the way over. See if you can clench this. 1698 01:08:28,960 --> 01:08:30,800 Now look like you're in pain. 1699 01:08:30,880 --> 01:08:32,280 DANNY: Ooh! (SHUTTER CLICKS) 1700 01:08:35,240 --> 01:08:37,640 It took my friend a whole summer to learn how to swim. 1701 01:08:38,040 --> 01:08:39,360 How're you gonna teach me so quick? 1702 01:08:39,560 --> 01:08:41,960 I'm gonna do it the same way my grandfather taught me. 1703 01:08:42,320 --> 01:08:43,520 (EXCLAIMS) 1704 01:08:46,000 --> 01:08:47,320 Don't worry. 1705 01:08:47,400 --> 01:08:49,520 It took Grandpa eight hours to teach us. 1706 01:08:49,600 --> 01:08:50,600 It was a nightmare. 1707 01:08:51,000 --> 01:08:53,560 But there's two of us here now, and we're sober. 1708 01:08:53,640 --> 01:08:55,000 You're gonna be fine. 1709 01:08:55,840 --> 01:08:57,280 All right. You're doing great. 1710 01:08:57,440 --> 01:08:59,120 Is he doing great? He's doing great. 1711 01:08:59,240 --> 01:09:00,800 Okay. We want to advance a little, though. 1712 01:09:00,880 --> 01:09:02,800 I need you to swim to Uncle Eddie. 1713 01:09:02,880 --> 01:09:04,400 If you get there without touching the bottom, 1714 01:09:04,480 --> 01:09:05,800 we'll give you a dolphin cookie. 1715 01:09:06,320 --> 01:09:08,320 (MIMICKING DOLPHIN) 1716 01:09:08,400 --> 01:09:09,760 Is that what your grandpa gave you? 1717 01:09:10,160 --> 01:09:12,920 No, Grandpa gave us something he'd call a Heineken. 1718 01:09:12,960 --> 01:09:14,000 I want one of those. 1719 01:09:14,080 --> 01:09:15,320 No. Stick with the dolphin cookie. 1720 01:09:15,440 --> 01:09:18,160 Yeah. They hurt less when they get thrown at your head. 1721 01:09:18,280 --> 01:09:19,760 God, he was a sick man. 1722 01:09:19,840 --> 01:09:22,160 Yeah. Okay? Are we ready? 1723 01:09:22,200 --> 01:09:23,600 Don't think about it. Commit. Kick, kick. 1724 01:09:23,640 --> 01:09:25,440 Get the cookie. Move your feet. 1725 01:09:27,200 --> 01:09:28,640 Kick, kick! 1726 01:09:28,800 --> 01:09:30,640 Right there! Reach for it! You got it! 1727 01:09:30,800 --> 01:09:31,840 Doing good, buddy! 1728 01:09:33,680 --> 01:09:34,960 There you go! 1729 01:09:35,120 --> 01:09:37,120 My boy! That was terrific, buddy. 1730 01:09:37,200 --> 01:09:39,680 Have your cookie. We're gonna move on, though. 1731 01:09:39,800 --> 01:09:41,080 PALMER: Hey, Devlin? 1732 01:09:42,320 --> 01:09:44,200 Devlin? Yeah? 1733 01:09:44,600 --> 01:09:46,560 So, Danny's birthday is next week, 1734 01:09:46,640 --> 01:09:48,240 and I have no idea what to get him. 1735 01:09:48,520 --> 01:09:49,760 (GROANS) 1736 01:09:51,160 --> 01:09:52,840 Well, don't get him a tie. 1737 01:09:52,920 --> 01:09:55,080 He has 100 of them and he never wears them. 1738 01:09:55,200 --> 01:09:56,240 That's good to know. 1739 01:09:56,800 --> 01:09:58,640 He loves books on tape for his car. 1740 01:09:58,720 --> 01:09:59,920 Fishing gear. 1741 01:10:00,440 --> 01:10:02,640 Loves it. Doesn't use it. 1742 01:10:02,720 --> 01:10:04,200 Can't take the fish off of the hook 1743 01:10:04,280 --> 01:10:06,200 once he catches it, so he just collects it. 1744 01:10:06,880 --> 01:10:10,240 He loves candy. Jelly Bellies. Loves them, his favorite. 1745 01:10:10,320 --> 01:10:12,320 But he only likes the Cotton Candy and the Peanut Butter. 1746 01:10:12,400 --> 01:10:14,520 So you have to buy the bag of the Jelly Bellies, 1747 01:10:14,600 --> 01:10:16,160 separate the Cotton Candy and the Peanut Butter 1748 01:10:16,240 --> 01:10:17,320 and put them into a little... 1749 01:10:17,520 --> 01:10:19,320 It's a kind of Ziploc baggies that I got online. 1750 01:10:19,400 --> 01:10:21,360 You know so much about him. 1751 01:10:22,400 --> 01:10:23,520 Yeah. 1752 01:10:24,000 --> 01:10:26,440 I've known the guy forever. 1753 01:10:28,280 --> 01:10:30,400 Music. Loves music. 1754 01:10:30,680 --> 01:10:32,760 But anything after '95, don't bother. 1755 01:10:32,840 --> 01:10:34,040 You'll lose him. 1756 01:10:34,560 --> 01:10:36,440 That's when I finished my Girl Scouts. 1757 01:10:38,720 --> 01:10:40,280 All right. How many cookies do we got left? 1758 01:10:41,040 --> 01:10:42,280 Maybe about forty! 1759 01:10:42,800 --> 01:10:45,080 What do you think, 40 feet for 40 cookies? 1760 01:10:45,120 --> 01:10:46,880 Can you handle that? You need a little rest? 1761 01:10:46,920 --> 01:10:48,040 Let's do this. 1762 01:10:48,320 --> 01:10:51,120 Really? Okay, he's ready! He's ready to rock! 1763 01:10:51,240 --> 01:10:52,520 Almost. 1764 01:10:52,880 --> 01:10:53,920 What? No. 1765 01:10:54,120 --> 01:10:57,920 Oh, my! Ladies and gentlemen, off come the floaties! 1766 01:10:58,200 --> 01:10:59,920 This is getting serious! 1767 01:11:00,000 --> 01:11:01,160 Are you sure about this, Michael? 1768 01:11:01,400 --> 01:11:02,960 Hell, yeah. All right. 1769 01:11:03,080 --> 01:11:05,120 No matter what, you're a good man, okay? 1770 01:11:05,600 --> 01:11:07,480 Keep kicking. I'm here if you need me. 1771 01:11:07,600 --> 01:11:08,600 You got this. 1772 01:11:08,720 --> 01:11:10,240 Go! Go, Michael! 1773 01:11:10,440 --> 01:11:11,880 DANNY: Go! Breathe! Yeah! 1774 01:11:12,280 --> 01:11:13,560 Kick it! Go! 1775 01:11:13,640 --> 01:11:15,080 Move your arms! Yeah! 1776 01:11:15,360 --> 01:11:16,680 (ALL CHEERING) 1777 01:11:16,720 --> 01:11:18,400 He doesn't have floaties on! 1778 01:11:18,800 --> 01:11:20,080 Oh, my God! 1779 01:11:20,320 --> 01:11:21,480 DANNY: Get the cookies! 1780 01:11:21,840 --> 01:11:23,400 KATHERINE: Come on, sweetheart! You've got it! 1781 01:11:23,480 --> 01:11:24,520 A little bit more, little bit more. 1782 01:11:27,400 --> 01:11:29,240 Swim! Swim! KATHERINE: Oh, my God! 1783 01:11:29,320 --> 01:11:30,680 EDDIE: Come on! Just a little bit more! 1784 01:11:32,080 --> 01:11:33,600 Keep going, Michael! Don't give up! 1785 01:11:37,480 --> 01:11:38,720 (ALL CHEERING) 1786 01:11:40,160 --> 01:11:41,320 EDDIE: Very nice! 1787 01:11:41,520 --> 01:11:44,240 That's my boy! Yeah, buddy! 1788 01:11:44,320 --> 01:11:47,920 I did it! I did it! Thank you! 1789 01:11:48,080 --> 01:11:49,640 No way, that was you, buddy. 1790 01:11:49,800 --> 01:11:52,200 That was awesome. Way to go! 1791 01:12:00,480 --> 01:12:01,800 What are we looking at? 1792 01:12:02,040 --> 01:12:04,640 Jeez. Oh, God. Devlin. (GROANS) 1793 01:12:05,680 --> 01:12:08,640 Devlin. Oh, God. You snuck up on me. 1794 01:12:08,880 --> 01:12:10,400 Did I? Oh... Yes. 1795 01:12:10,600 --> 01:12:13,080 Do you startle easily? That's a sign of menopause. 1796 01:12:13,160 --> 01:12:14,160 Hmm... 1797 01:12:14,240 --> 01:12:15,800 Devlin? 1798 01:12:15,840 --> 01:12:18,040 Palmer Dodge, this is Devlin. 1799 01:12:18,160 --> 01:12:20,200 She and I went to college together. 1800 01:12:20,880 --> 01:12:23,280 This is Palmer Dodge. DEVLIN: Aloha, Palmer. 1801 01:12:23,680 --> 01:12:25,200 Is this your daughter? 1802 01:12:26,160 --> 01:12:29,040 No, no, no. I'm actually the girlfriend. 1803 01:12:29,120 --> 01:12:30,200 Whose girlfriend? 1804 01:12:30,320 --> 01:12:32,720 Yes, hi. (GREETS IN GERMAN) 1805 01:12:32,880 --> 01:12:36,080 I am the Dolph. Willkommen. And you're very beautiful. 1806 01:12:36,160 --> 01:12:38,320 Married, flattered. Thanks. Where's Danny? 1807 01:12:38,600 --> 01:12:42,080 Danny is in the water teaching our little boy how to swim. 1808 01:12:42,200 --> 01:12:43,320 (EXCLAIMING) Hi, Doctor! 1809 01:12:44,400 --> 01:12:45,400 He was so sweet. 1810 01:12:45,520 --> 01:12:47,720 You know what's so crazy is that I have never met anybody 1811 01:12:47,840 --> 01:12:49,200 with the first name Devlin before. 1812 01:12:49,240 --> 01:12:51,920 You know, and here you are, and your name's Devlin and... 1813 01:12:52,080 --> 01:12:53,400 Shark attack! 1814 01:12:54,880 --> 01:12:57,480 We are playing Bavarian pool rugby and now I'm in the lead. 1815 01:12:57,680 --> 01:12:58,880 Okay, bye! 1816 01:13:00,720 --> 01:13:03,240 She's trying to beat me, but she won't. 1817 01:13:03,600 --> 01:13:05,320 No one can! (LAUGHING MANIACALLY) 1818 01:13:05,400 --> 01:13:06,480 This is fun! 1819 01:13:06,680 --> 01:13:08,920 Anyway, something's opened up in our schedule tonight. 1820 01:13:09,000 --> 01:13:10,600 So, we were wondering if you and Danny 1821 01:13:10,680 --> 01:13:11,920 were good to go for dinner. 1822 01:13:12,000 --> 01:13:14,280 Oceano's. Seven o'clock. Oh, no... 1823 01:13:14,400 --> 01:13:17,560 Oh, no, you don't! She's like a shark. Come on. 1824 01:13:18,040 --> 01:13:19,840 Is it a bad night? Are you two fighting? 1825 01:13:19,920 --> 01:13:21,560 No! We're not fighting. 1826 01:13:21,640 --> 01:13:23,760 No, we just, we're delighting. We're just fine. 1827 01:13:23,840 --> 01:13:26,560 No, that's great. Tonight's gonna happen. Yeah, perfect. 1828 01:13:26,640 --> 01:13:28,440 Perfect. Anyway, see you tonight! 1829 01:13:28,480 --> 01:13:29,760 Okay, Devlin. 1830 01:13:29,880 --> 01:13:31,920 Oh, my God! Dolph, let her breathe! 1831 01:13:32,040 --> 01:13:34,040 Yes, I... (SHRIEKS) 1832 01:13:34,440 --> 01:13:35,600 Dolph! What? 1833 01:13:35,720 --> 01:13:36,760 What was that? 1834 01:13:37,040 --> 01:13:38,680 (FAKING SHOCK) 1835 01:13:38,760 --> 01:13:41,120 I was... Were you under... 1836 01:13:42,560 --> 01:13:44,720 I don't understand. Why would you say yes? 1837 01:13:44,800 --> 01:13:47,600 Because I didn't know, I didn't say no. 1838 01:13:47,800 --> 01:13:50,360 I'm not leaving here. What would I tell Palmer? 1839 01:13:54,960 --> 01:13:56,240 (GROANING) 1840 01:13:57,760 --> 01:13:59,160 What's going on, sweetie? 1841 01:13:59,720 --> 01:14:03,240 So, today, you know, with Dolph pushing me in the pool. 1842 01:14:03,320 --> 01:14:04,640 It was weird, right? 1843 01:14:05,120 --> 01:14:06,880 No, no, no. He's a sheepherder. 1844 01:14:06,960 --> 01:14:08,280 That's what those guys do, you know? 1845 01:14:08,320 --> 01:14:10,240 They do a lot of horseplay 1846 01:14:10,320 --> 01:14:12,240 and that's kind of initiation time for you. 1847 01:14:12,400 --> 01:14:13,920 You're in the gang, I think. 1848 01:14:14,960 --> 01:14:16,520 Okay. Yeah. 1849 01:14:17,160 --> 01:14:19,360 Well, I was thinking for tonight, 1850 01:14:19,520 --> 01:14:22,720 maybe we could have a little me and you time? 1851 01:14:22,800 --> 01:14:24,080 Oh! 1852 01:14:26,360 --> 01:14:28,680 I'll get my rubber duck and see you in a sec. 1853 01:14:29,960 --> 01:14:32,320 Yeah, no, I'm not doing this tonight. 1854 01:14:32,440 --> 01:14:34,520 It's like my first night alone with the girl. 1855 01:14:34,640 --> 01:14:36,360 All I'm asking you is one favor! 1856 01:14:36,520 --> 01:14:40,120 Just get this one dinner with me so I can save face 1857 01:14:40,200 --> 01:14:42,760 with this horrible, heinous human being. 1858 01:14:42,880 --> 01:14:44,040 What am I gonna tell Palmer? 1859 01:14:44,160 --> 01:14:45,360 Would you just put her on the phone? 1860 01:14:45,720 --> 01:14:47,040 (BYE, BYE, BYE PLAYING) 1861 01:14:48,000 --> 01:14:49,480 (SINGING ALONG) 1862 01:14:50,160 --> 01:14:51,360 Oh, God. 1863 01:14:51,640 --> 01:14:53,520 Tell me she is not listening to 'N Sync. 1864 01:14:53,600 --> 01:14:56,400 No, no, no. It's coming from the elevator. 1865 01:14:56,720 --> 01:14:57,800 Hey! 1866 01:14:57,880 --> 01:14:59,480 Danny, that is my jam. 1867 01:15:00,200 --> 01:15:01,800 Someone on the phone for you. 1868 01:15:02,000 --> 01:15:03,520 I don't know who. PALMER: Okay. 1869 01:15:04,360 --> 01:15:05,560 Hello? 1870 01:15:06,080 --> 01:15:07,160 What is that? 1871 01:15:07,240 --> 01:15:08,560 It's Palmer. So? 1872 01:15:08,680 --> 01:15:10,400 I need you to get on the phone. I need you to ask her out. 1873 01:15:10,480 --> 01:15:12,240 I need you to take her as far away from the hotel for the entire night. 1874 01:15:12,320 --> 01:15:13,440 Would you please just do this for me? 1875 01:15:13,520 --> 01:15:16,160 No, I'm already eating. I just wanna hang out. Ow! 1876 01:15:16,320 --> 01:15:17,960 Seriously, I need you. What are you doing? No. 1877 01:15:18,040 --> 01:15:19,640 Ow! My gosh. 1878 01:15:19,720 --> 01:15:21,480 Take it. All right. 1879 01:15:22,360 --> 01:15:23,680 Go for Dolph. 1880 01:15:24,200 --> 01:15:25,320 It's Dolph. 1881 01:15:25,560 --> 01:15:26,680 Okay, I got an idea. 1882 01:15:26,880 --> 01:15:28,680 How about you and me, 1883 01:15:28,760 --> 01:15:31,480 we go and get the dinner tonight? 1884 01:15:31,560 --> 01:15:32,640 To supper? 1885 01:15:32,720 --> 01:15:34,000 Tonight? 1886 01:15:34,040 --> 01:15:35,280 Yes, and we get to know each other, 1887 01:15:35,360 --> 01:15:37,240 because I think it's important for the kids 1888 01:15:37,360 --> 01:15:40,880 to have good symmetry in the family unit. 1889 01:15:41,000 --> 01:15:43,080 Yeah, hang on. Let me check with Danny. 1890 01:15:43,600 --> 01:15:45,400 Dolph wants to do dinner tonight. 1891 01:15:45,720 --> 01:15:47,240 No. No, no, no. 1892 01:15:47,320 --> 01:15:48,720 All right, tell him yeah. 1893 01:15:50,680 --> 01:15:52,000 Yeah, that's fine. 1894 01:15:52,840 --> 01:15:55,040 Awesome. Thank you so much. 1895 01:15:55,560 --> 01:15:56,880 What am I supposed to say to her all night? 1896 01:15:57,160 --> 01:16:01,680 You spout crazy nonsense for hours in Eurotrashenese. 1897 01:16:01,960 --> 01:16:05,120 Just do it, but just do it far away from the hotel. 1898 01:16:05,200 --> 01:16:06,560 Okay, fine, I'll do it, 1899 01:16:06,640 --> 01:16:09,120 but if I do good, can I sleep in the bed with you? 1900 01:16:09,760 --> 01:16:13,040 No. Why? You've got a great private room. 1901 01:16:15,480 --> 01:16:15,520 (HAWAIIAN MUSIC PLAYING) 1902 01:16:15,560 --> 01:16:17,240 (HAWAIIAN MUSIC PLAYING) 1903 01:16:25,600 --> 01:16:27,800 Hmm, really? Because when we were in the Napa Valley, 1904 01:16:27,920 --> 01:16:30,360 they said that wasn't a good time of year for Merlot. 1905 01:16:30,640 --> 01:16:33,720 Oh. How about the Verite Cabernet? 1906 01:16:34,280 --> 01:16:35,840 Isn't Cabernet really grapey? 1907 01:16:35,920 --> 01:16:38,080 I mean, I like grapey, but not overly grapey. 1908 01:16:38,160 --> 01:16:40,120 Did you go over the index cards? 1909 01:16:40,440 --> 01:16:42,240 I glanced at them, yes. 1910 01:16:42,400 --> 01:16:43,440 You glanced at them? 1911 01:16:43,600 --> 01:16:45,000 I graduated med school 1912 01:16:45,080 --> 01:16:47,560 without reading a book. Just relax. 1913 01:16:47,640 --> 01:16:49,800 Just give us the most expensive bottle you have 1914 01:16:49,880 --> 01:16:51,560 and it'll probably be good enough. 1915 01:16:51,640 --> 01:16:52,880 Perfect! 1916 01:16:53,280 --> 01:16:57,320 Look at us, Katherine. Both so happily married. I mean... 1917 01:16:57,560 --> 01:16:59,120 Can you believe it? 1918 01:16:59,640 --> 01:17:01,760 Everything I always hoped for, right, Yogi? 1919 01:17:01,840 --> 01:17:02,960 Mmm. Boo-Boo. 1920 01:17:03,000 --> 01:17:04,800 My Yogi Bear. My Boo-Boo. 1921 01:17:07,200 --> 01:17:08,360 IAN: Never enough. 1922 01:17:09,640 --> 01:17:11,040 (CELL PHONE CHIMING) 1923 01:17:14,960 --> 01:17:16,160 (MURMURING) 1924 01:17:17,480 --> 01:17:18,640 (CELL PHONE CHIMING) 1925 01:17:22,720 --> 01:17:23,800 IAN: Hold on a second. 1926 01:17:24,840 --> 01:17:27,400 I love the way you smell. 1927 01:17:27,520 --> 01:17:30,040 Nothing smells as good as Devlin. 1928 01:17:30,480 --> 01:17:33,480 Smelling Devlin, always a good thing. 1929 01:17:33,560 --> 01:17:34,600 (BOTH LAUGHING) 1930 01:17:39,600 --> 01:17:41,000 This is really where we're eating? 1931 01:17:41,240 --> 01:17:42,720 Oh, yes. No, the hotel says 1932 01:17:42,800 --> 01:17:45,600 it's amazing und very far away. Yeah, it's good. 1933 01:17:45,880 --> 01:17:47,920 Hey. I want that car. 1934 01:17:48,000 --> 01:17:49,480 I'll give you two chickens for it. 1935 01:17:50,080 --> 01:17:52,440 Two chickens, that's very nice of you, but... 1936 01:17:52,520 --> 01:17:53,600 Don't be scared. 1937 01:17:53,720 --> 01:17:54,880 We're just here for dinner. 1938 01:17:54,960 --> 01:17:57,320 Also, this car's worth about 10,000 chickens. 1939 01:17:58,040 --> 01:17:59,520 Don't pour over me. 1940 01:17:59,760 --> 01:18:00,920 Don't pour over me. 1941 01:18:02,200 --> 01:18:03,920 I'll bring my glass to you. 1942 01:18:04,720 --> 01:18:08,040 So, Danny, you're a plastic surgeon. Yes. 1943 01:18:08,560 --> 01:18:10,120 Very convenient for you, Katherine. 1944 01:18:10,440 --> 01:18:12,120 DANNY: No, this girl's had nothing done. 1945 01:18:12,200 --> 01:18:13,560 She's just a natural beauty. 1946 01:18:13,640 --> 01:18:14,800 She really is. Sweetie. 1947 01:18:14,960 --> 01:18:17,400 What about me? What would you do to fix me? 1948 01:18:18,120 --> 01:18:19,440 Professionally speaking? 1949 01:18:19,560 --> 01:18:21,200 Nothing. I wouldn't do a thing to you. 1950 01:18:21,280 --> 01:18:22,400 Nothing? 1951 01:18:22,560 --> 01:18:24,120 You're too sweet. 1952 01:18:24,680 --> 01:18:26,520 They already took too much fat out of your arms, 1953 01:18:26,600 --> 01:18:27,960 but that's what sleeves are for. 1954 01:18:29,120 --> 01:18:30,960 So, where did you two meet? 1955 01:18:32,280 --> 01:18:35,160 We just, we met at a concert. 1956 01:18:35,240 --> 01:18:36,480 Sting. Yeah. 1957 01:18:36,560 --> 01:18:38,480 Live at the Index Card. 1958 01:18:38,760 --> 01:18:41,200 It was a benefit for the rainforest. 1959 01:18:42,080 --> 01:18:43,880 (CARMINA BURANA PLAYING) 1960 01:18:43,960 --> 01:18:45,200 Someone's on the phone for you. 1961 01:18:45,240 --> 01:18:47,000 I think it's the guy from The Omen. 1962 01:18:49,440 --> 01:18:51,160 Go for the iMan. 1963 01:18:52,080 --> 01:18:53,160 Hold on a second. 1964 01:18:53,280 --> 01:18:56,000 Can I say something before you say what you're gonna say? 1965 01:18:56,480 --> 01:18:59,880 Seeing the man who invented the iPod, on the iPhone, 1966 01:18:59,960 --> 01:19:02,320 saying, "Go for the iMan..." Yeah. 1967 01:19:02,400 --> 01:19:04,440 ...that was like watching Ronald McDonald 1968 01:19:04,520 --> 01:19:06,240 eat a cheeseburger off the Grimace. 1969 01:19:06,320 --> 01:19:08,520 I'm serious. That was serious stuff. KATHERINE: It's so true. 1970 01:19:08,600 --> 01:19:12,520 That, to me, was like watching Dr. Kevorkian kill himself. 1971 01:19:12,600 --> 01:19:13,680 Oh, no. 1972 01:19:13,800 --> 01:19:16,200 I'm sorry. This is one of my foundations. 1973 01:19:16,280 --> 01:19:17,760 I've gotta take this. 1974 01:19:18,440 --> 01:19:21,320 Your virtue, your intelligence, your passion. 1975 01:19:21,480 --> 01:19:25,480 Your beauty, your drive, and your womanhood. 1976 01:19:29,120 --> 01:19:30,320 (SIGHS HEAVILY) 1977 01:19:32,280 --> 01:19:35,040 It's something we do whenever the other leaves. 1978 01:19:35,120 --> 01:19:37,280 We say what we love most about the other. 1979 01:19:37,320 --> 01:19:39,000 That's really nice. That's big. I like that. 1980 01:19:39,120 --> 01:19:40,360 You guys should try it. 1981 01:19:40,640 --> 01:19:43,280 Yes, we should. We should. We'll try that later. 1982 01:19:43,360 --> 01:19:45,200 We have to. Not everyone can do it. 1983 01:19:45,960 --> 01:19:47,440 We'll do it now. 1984 01:19:47,600 --> 01:19:49,640 Right now. Okay. 1985 01:19:49,960 --> 01:19:51,800 So, broke and penniless, 1986 01:19:51,880 --> 01:19:54,600 I took to the streets to sell my wares. 1987 01:19:54,840 --> 01:19:57,000 And by wares, I mean my body. 1988 01:19:57,280 --> 01:19:59,560 And by body, I mean my schnitzel. 1989 01:19:59,840 --> 01:20:00,960 Mmm. 1990 01:20:01,040 --> 01:20:03,280 Help! Is there a veterinarian in the house? 1991 01:20:03,360 --> 01:20:05,840 My pet sheep, he passed out. He's not breathing! 1992 01:20:05,920 --> 01:20:07,240 I don't know what's wrong with him! 1993 01:20:07,720 --> 01:20:11,200 Him! Him! He's not a vet, but he sells sheep for a living. 1994 01:20:12,080 --> 01:20:13,480 Oh, me, yes. 1995 01:20:13,800 --> 01:20:15,920 I do, yes. I am that. 1996 01:20:16,000 --> 01:20:17,160 Please come this way! 1997 01:20:17,560 --> 01:20:18,680 Now? Yes! 1998 01:20:18,840 --> 01:20:19,920 This way, this way! 1999 01:20:20,000 --> 01:20:21,160 What is this? 2000 01:20:21,360 --> 01:20:23,200 Is that a real sheep? 2001 01:20:26,240 --> 01:20:27,520 Okay. 2002 01:20:28,520 --> 01:20:29,760 Yes, um... 2003 01:20:30,920 --> 01:20:32,400 Hello... 2004 01:20:32,560 --> 01:20:33,680 Yes? 2005 01:20:36,080 --> 01:20:39,720 Yes, in my expert opinion, that sheep is dead. 2006 01:20:39,920 --> 01:20:41,040 I'm very sorry. 2007 01:20:41,200 --> 01:20:43,000 Let's go eat. Okay, show's over. Let's go. 2008 01:20:43,120 --> 01:20:44,280 (BLEATING) 2009 01:20:44,320 --> 01:20:45,880 Oh! He's still alive! 2010 01:20:45,960 --> 01:20:47,200 Please, you have to do something! 2011 01:20:47,440 --> 01:20:49,240 Oh, shit on me. 2012 01:20:49,760 --> 01:20:51,680 You look each other in the eyes 2013 01:20:51,760 --> 01:20:54,520 and you say what you love about the other. Mmm-hmm. 2014 01:20:54,600 --> 01:20:57,720 We can't just say it? We gotta look at each other for this thing? 2015 01:20:57,800 --> 01:20:59,680 Okay. Yes. We're so ready. 2016 01:20:59,960 --> 01:21:01,120 Are you ready? 2017 01:21:01,400 --> 01:21:02,440 Go ahead. 2018 01:21:02,880 --> 01:21:04,840 You're on. Okay. 2019 01:21:04,920 --> 01:21:06,280 Come on. 2020 01:21:07,680 --> 01:21:08,640 Um... 2021 01:21:12,120 --> 01:21:13,720 I love your sense of humor. 2022 01:21:13,800 --> 01:21:15,960 You do? Mmm-hmm. 2023 01:21:16,040 --> 01:21:17,360 All of it? 2024 01:21:17,720 --> 01:21:20,120 Every dirty bit of it. 2025 01:21:21,560 --> 01:21:24,040 I love your, uh, stories. 2026 01:21:24,120 --> 01:21:26,480 Yes. They can go long, but... It's okay. 2027 01:21:26,640 --> 01:21:28,640 ...I try to finish strong. Always entertaining. 2028 01:21:30,440 --> 01:21:32,120 And I love that you... 2029 01:21:32,920 --> 01:21:35,120 Love that you read the index cards. 2030 01:21:36,080 --> 01:21:37,480 Of course. 2031 01:21:39,120 --> 01:21:41,440 And I love that you secretly 2032 01:21:42,480 --> 01:21:45,280 have a huge heart, 2033 01:21:46,680 --> 01:21:51,080 and it's just filled with kindness 2034 01:21:52,960 --> 01:21:54,800 and humility. 2035 01:21:55,240 --> 01:21:56,560 And blood? 2036 01:21:56,800 --> 01:21:58,960 I'm sure there's blood. 2037 01:22:02,840 --> 01:22:04,600 I don't know, I... 2038 01:22:05,640 --> 01:22:10,480 I just think you're a really nice person and I really like... 2039 01:22:12,120 --> 01:22:14,480 I really love spending time with you. 2040 01:22:15,960 --> 01:22:17,760 That's good enough for me right there. 2041 01:22:17,840 --> 01:22:19,120 Yeah, game over. 2042 01:22:20,120 --> 01:22:21,640 Danny? 2043 01:22:21,920 --> 01:22:23,960 Game back on? We gotta... 2044 01:22:24,320 --> 01:22:25,320 Um... 2045 01:22:25,840 --> 01:22:28,480 Well, I'd like to start off by saying 2046 01:22:28,560 --> 01:22:32,520 that I love the most that you fixed your teeth. 2047 01:22:32,600 --> 01:22:34,520 (LAUGHS) Why did I know that... 2048 01:22:34,800 --> 01:22:36,960 They were horrible, I agree. 2049 01:22:38,360 --> 01:22:39,920 No, no. Um... 2050 01:22:41,040 --> 01:22:42,680 You know what I love? Mmm-hmm? 2051 01:22:43,040 --> 01:22:45,520 How you just do everything for everybody else 2052 01:22:45,640 --> 01:22:47,320 and you never expect anything back. 2053 01:22:47,560 --> 01:22:51,640 In fact, when I say thank you, I don't know, do you hear that or not? 2054 01:22:52,520 --> 01:22:53,880 It's cute. 2055 01:22:54,040 --> 01:22:55,520 And I love... 2056 01:22:56,880 --> 01:22:58,200 I just love... 2057 01:23:00,400 --> 01:23:03,160 You're the only person I've never lied to in my life. 2058 01:23:03,360 --> 01:23:05,000 I swear to God. 2059 01:23:06,200 --> 01:23:09,200 I just trust you more than anybody in the world. 2060 01:23:09,680 --> 01:23:11,400 You know every secret about me. 2061 01:23:15,400 --> 01:23:16,880 I love your smile. 2062 01:23:17,040 --> 01:23:19,560 That smile is the magic. 2063 01:23:20,240 --> 01:23:22,600 When I'm in the operating room all I think about is, 2064 01:23:22,760 --> 01:23:26,720 "All right, 20 more minutes, I get to see the smile." 2065 01:23:27,280 --> 01:23:28,720 It's just like... 2066 01:23:29,400 --> 01:23:32,240 It starts my day, that smile. 2067 01:23:40,200 --> 01:23:41,960 I won best smile at our sorority 2068 01:23:42,040 --> 01:23:44,000 three years straight, right, Katherine? 2069 01:23:45,720 --> 01:23:47,400 Not little Bucky here. 2070 01:23:53,080 --> 01:23:56,760 Okay, here we go! Hi, yes! Wee! 2071 01:23:56,880 --> 01:23:58,520 We do the sheep dance, right? 2072 01:23:58,600 --> 01:24:00,400 We want to live and dance more, yes. 2073 01:24:00,560 --> 01:24:02,720 Okay, all right. Here we go. Eat some food. 2074 01:24:02,800 --> 01:24:04,880 Eat the food. Come on, here we go. 2075 01:24:04,920 --> 01:24:06,040 Couple more zings. 2076 01:24:06,120 --> 01:24:07,960 Make the milk. Yes, he makes the milk. 2077 01:24:08,040 --> 01:24:10,360 You love it. You give milk to the baby. 2078 01:24:10,480 --> 01:24:13,440 All right. One, two, three, here we go! 2079 01:24:14,400 --> 01:24:15,640 Come on! 2080 01:24:15,880 --> 01:24:17,480 We got a couple things that I know how to do! 2081 01:24:17,560 --> 01:24:18,680 (ALL EXCLAIMING) 2082 01:24:18,760 --> 01:24:20,760 Yes, this is a good test, so why not? 2083 01:24:21,640 --> 01:24:23,560 All right. Here we go. 2084 01:24:25,640 --> 01:24:27,120 You're killing him! 2085 01:24:27,760 --> 01:24:29,440 (SHOUTING FAKE GERMAN) 2086 01:24:32,560 --> 01:24:33,560 (SQUEAKS) 2087 01:24:34,400 --> 01:24:36,520 (ALL CHEERING) 2088 01:24:36,600 --> 01:24:39,320 The sheep lives! The sheep lives! 2089 01:24:39,440 --> 01:24:41,120 Yes! Here we go, one more time. 2090 01:24:41,200 --> 01:24:42,640 Here we go. Yes! 2091 01:24:43,480 --> 01:24:45,960 This is what I did. You saw this. Yes! 2092 01:24:46,000 --> 01:24:48,000 Welcome. I am Tanner Patrick, Jr. 2093 01:24:48,120 --> 01:24:52,600 We're ready for the legendary Oceano's Hula Competition. 2094 01:24:52,920 --> 01:24:54,240 Legendary? Never heard of it! 2095 01:24:54,840 --> 01:24:55,840 (LAUGHS) 2096 01:24:56,120 --> 01:24:58,760 Legendary like the day you were once sober. So... 2097 01:24:58,840 --> 01:25:00,200 (ALL LAUGHING) 2098 01:25:00,280 --> 01:25:02,440 She talks the talk, who will walk the walk 2099 01:25:02,640 --> 01:25:05,360 and walk with me to the Ladies' Lounge? Feeling it... 2100 01:25:05,480 --> 01:25:07,440 I think you should do it, Devlin. (SCOFFS) 2101 01:25:07,520 --> 01:25:09,040 Because she would win. 2102 01:25:09,120 --> 01:25:10,120 (DEVLIN CACKLING) 2103 01:25:11,640 --> 01:25:13,640 I'll do it! Oh! Good show! 2104 01:25:13,720 --> 01:25:15,840 Katherine? How about you? 2105 01:25:16,000 --> 01:25:18,720 Come on, this isn't Katherine's thing. Right, Katherine? 2106 01:25:18,880 --> 01:25:22,560 No, no, not my... Her speed. Not mine. 2107 01:25:22,880 --> 01:25:24,400 Some people are just more comfortable 2108 01:25:24,480 --> 01:25:26,400 on the sidelines, so don't judge her, honey. 2109 01:25:27,040 --> 01:25:29,840 Your honesty, your fearlessness, and your tickle spot. 2110 01:25:30,040 --> 01:25:33,240 Your creativity, your bravery, and your taffy nipples. 2111 01:25:33,320 --> 01:25:34,320 (EXCLAIMS) 2112 01:25:34,480 --> 01:25:36,520 Let's go! How do I win this thing? 2113 01:25:37,360 --> 01:25:38,640 I'm gonna do this hula thing. 2114 01:25:38,880 --> 01:25:40,320 Oh, don't feel any pressure, Katherine. 2115 01:25:40,520 --> 01:25:42,680 I'm not the one who should feel the pressure. 2116 01:25:45,520 --> 01:25:50,080 Ladies and gentlemen, a warm welcome for tonight's hula girls. 2117 01:25:50,360 --> 01:25:51,800 (ALL CHEERING) 2118 01:25:54,640 --> 01:25:56,920 These are my stars. And here's the key, 2119 01:25:57,000 --> 01:25:59,400 you decide how brightly they shine tonight. 2120 01:25:59,600 --> 01:26:01,560 You the audience, judge and jury. 2121 01:26:01,640 --> 01:26:03,200 I like what I see. 2122 01:26:03,280 --> 01:26:04,960 (SLOW HAWAIIAN MUSIC PLAYING) 2123 01:26:06,080 --> 01:26:08,560 This is my hula palooza. 2124 01:26:09,160 --> 01:26:10,640 You're the judges. 2125 01:26:10,720 --> 01:26:14,040 You're voting for your favorite hula girl. 2126 01:26:14,840 --> 01:26:16,000 How about we do one over here? 2127 01:26:16,200 --> 01:26:18,480 Can I get a little something-something up here in the corner? 2128 01:26:19,000 --> 01:26:20,800 (SCATTERED APPLAUSE) 2129 01:26:20,880 --> 01:26:22,840 Has anybody got a conscience here tonight? 2130 01:26:22,920 --> 01:26:24,760 Come on, you did well. You did well. 2131 01:26:25,280 --> 01:26:26,280 ALL: Aw! 2132 01:26:26,760 --> 01:26:27,840 TANNER: It's tough. 2133 01:26:28,240 --> 01:26:29,920 What do I got over here? Anybody? 2134 01:26:30,760 --> 01:26:32,960 How tall do you think that guy is? 2135 01:26:33,280 --> 01:26:34,960 Who? The Tanner guy? I don't know. 2136 01:26:35,120 --> 01:26:36,160 Yeah, that Tanner. 2137 01:26:36,240 --> 01:26:38,000 Looks pretty tall, I'd say he's like 6'3". 2138 01:26:38,120 --> 01:26:39,200 Yeah, I don't know. 2139 01:26:39,400 --> 01:26:41,200 Can I get a positive reaction? 2140 01:26:41,360 --> 01:26:42,680 (ALL CHEERING) 2141 01:26:42,760 --> 01:26:43,960 Thank you. 2142 01:26:44,640 --> 01:26:48,400 How about this little girl? Let's make her night. How about it? 2143 01:26:48,560 --> 01:26:50,680 I like it. Keep the mojo going. 2144 01:26:50,760 --> 01:26:52,280 How about Big Country in the corner? 2145 01:26:52,480 --> 01:26:53,720 Do I got... 2146 01:26:55,560 --> 01:26:56,560 Sorry. 2147 01:26:56,640 --> 01:26:57,960 This is fixed! 2148 01:26:58,760 --> 01:27:00,960 Tall fellow is lucky to get away. 2149 01:27:01,440 --> 01:27:03,440 TANNER: Let's pick up the tempo, boys. 2150 01:27:03,600 --> 01:27:04,960 (MUSIC SPEEDS UP) What? What is that? 2151 01:27:05,360 --> 01:27:06,520 (EXCLAIMING) 2152 01:27:08,640 --> 01:27:10,600 Okay. This is a lot faster. 2153 01:27:21,520 --> 01:27:22,840 (CHEERING) 2154 01:27:32,400 --> 01:27:33,680 (CHEERING) 2155 01:27:43,960 --> 01:27:45,160 Fabulous! 2156 01:27:55,320 --> 01:27:56,600 (ALL CHEERING) 2157 01:27:56,680 --> 01:27:58,280 Yeah, baby! 2158 01:28:06,200 --> 01:28:07,440 (CHEERING) 2159 01:28:16,040 --> 01:28:17,200 KATHERINE: What? 2160 01:28:18,840 --> 01:28:20,000 Come on. 2161 01:28:26,320 --> 01:28:27,680 (EXCLAIMING) 2162 01:28:35,640 --> 01:28:37,400 Nobody got cheated here tonight. 2163 01:28:37,520 --> 01:28:39,120 These are two of the hottest chicks 2164 01:28:39,200 --> 01:28:40,960 we have ever had up here. 2165 01:28:41,040 --> 01:28:42,400 But our job is not done. 2166 01:28:42,480 --> 01:28:46,320 I need your help, because I need a winner. 2167 01:28:46,400 --> 01:28:47,480 Let me hear you. 2168 01:28:47,560 --> 01:28:48,960 (CHEERING) 2169 01:28:49,040 --> 01:28:50,400 Beautiful! 2170 01:28:51,040 --> 01:28:52,760 Wow, that is gonna be tough to beat. 2171 01:28:52,840 --> 01:28:55,680 Let's not kid anybody. How about over here? 2172 01:28:56,040 --> 01:28:58,000 (CHEERING LOUDLY) 2173 01:28:58,680 --> 01:29:01,400 There you have it. We have ourselves... 2174 01:29:02,400 --> 01:29:04,400 That's my Boo-Boo! 2175 01:29:05,720 --> 01:29:08,040 A tie! We have ourselves a tie. 2176 01:29:08,200 --> 01:29:10,400 That's great. We both win. Good... 2177 01:29:10,720 --> 01:29:12,040 What's the tiebreaker? 2178 01:29:13,200 --> 01:29:15,200 What's the tiebreaker? 2179 01:29:17,240 --> 01:29:19,440 This is how we settle ties in my house. 2180 01:29:19,560 --> 01:29:21,600 It's something I like to call Coconut Smoochie. 2181 01:29:21,720 --> 01:29:23,200 The object of the game is, 2182 01:29:23,280 --> 01:29:25,280 the coconut is in their midsections. 2183 01:29:25,400 --> 01:29:27,160 It must move all the way up to their mouths 2184 01:29:27,240 --> 01:29:28,360 without the use of their hands. 2185 01:29:28,440 --> 01:29:29,520 Focus, focus. 2186 01:29:29,600 --> 01:29:33,080 If you touch the coconut, you are disqualified. 2187 01:29:33,280 --> 01:29:36,880 Okay. Ready? One, two, three, get coconutty! 2188 01:29:37,080 --> 01:29:38,920 Okay. Slow. 2189 01:29:41,240 --> 01:29:43,160 Okay, all right. Calm down, calm down. 2190 01:29:43,320 --> 01:29:44,440 Let me just bring it up to you. 2191 01:29:44,520 --> 01:29:45,520 Okay, do it. 2192 01:29:46,000 --> 01:29:47,920 Get it up there. Come on. 2193 01:29:48,080 --> 01:29:49,440 Bring your coconuts down to me. 2194 01:29:49,600 --> 01:29:50,960 Okay. Oh, my coconuts. 2195 01:29:51,120 --> 01:29:52,760 Pull up. All right. I'm so low. 2196 01:29:52,920 --> 01:29:55,280 Squeeze your coconuts. Squeeze them. 2197 01:29:55,440 --> 01:29:58,440 Use every crevice you can. Don't be afraid. 2198 01:29:58,600 --> 01:30:00,040 I can't get it up here. 2199 01:30:00,080 --> 01:30:01,440 I'm trying. 2200 01:30:01,800 --> 01:30:03,440 Would you be quiet? 2201 01:30:03,720 --> 01:30:05,480 Stay there. Wait. 2202 01:30:05,600 --> 01:30:07,720 Okay, that's good. Is that good? 2203 01:30:08,120 --> 01:30:09,400 Sorry about this, by the way. 2204 01:30:09,480 --> 01:30:10,800 Really? You're really sorry about this? 2205 01:30:10,960 --> 01:30:12,320 No, I'm not. I like it. 2206 01:30:12,960 --> 01:30:14,080 (ALL EXCLAIMING) 2207 01:30:14,160 --> 01:30:15,280 Oh, yeah! 2208 01:30:15,440 --> 01:30:16,520 Pick it up, pick it up! 2209 01:30:16,560 --> 01:30:18,440 Not with your hands, you buffoon! 2210 01:30:18,600 --> 01:30:19,640 Come on! 2211 01:30:19,800 --> 01:30:22,760 Look what he's doing! What happened? I can't see. 2212 01:30:22,800 --> 01:30:25,600 Focus. Take it slow, take it slow. 2213 01:30:25,800 --> 01:30:27,320 He's got it! 2214 01:30:27,440 --> 01:30:29,400 (ALL CHEERING) 2215 01:30:29,480 --> 01:30:31,800 That's not fair. He can't do that. 2216 01:30:31,960 --> 01:30:33,680 No, that's a clean pick-up right there. 2217 01:30:33,880 --> 01:30:35,600 Okay. Bring it over here. 2218 01:30:36,520 --> 01:30:38,280 (ALL CHANTING) Go! Go! Go! 2219 01:30:38,840 --> 01:30:40,120 I got it. 2220 01:30:40,320 --> 01:30:41,480 (WHOOPING) 2221 01:30:43,840 --> 01:30:45,320 There's still time. Let's go. 2222 01:30:45,520 --> 01:30:46,920 You can touch each other, 2223 01:30:46,960 --> 01:30:48,480 you cannot touch the coconut. 2224 01:30:48,680 --> 01:30:49,840 Hang on, hang on. 2225 01:30:51,000 --> 01:30:53,080 What's going on? What is that? What do you use? 2226 01:30:53,160 --> 01:30:55,200 What's the hold-up? You still got that perfume on, huh? 2227 01:30:55,320 --> 01:30:56,360 Would you stop it? 2228 01:30:56,400 --> 01:30:57,560 Smells good. Come on, let's go. 2229 01:30:57,680 --> 01:30:59,680 Have you got it to your mouth yet, Boo-Boo? 2230 01:30:59,840 --> 01:31:03,400 Stop putting your ass in my face. 2231 01:31:03,560 --> 01:31:06,000 TANNER: I like it. That's my girl. Okay. 2232 01:31:07,000 --> 01:31:08,960 (AUDIENCE CHEERING) 2233 01:31:09,040 --> 01:31:12,160 We've got a winner! We have a winner! We have a winner. 2234 01:31:12,880 --> 01:31:15,520 Coconut Smoochie champions right here. 2235 01:31:16,560 --> 01:31:17,680 Awesome. 2236 01:31:17,720 --> 01:31:19,720 You suck at everything! 2237 01:31:21,000 --> 01:31:22,160 Boo-Boo. 2238 01:31:22,560 --> 01:31:23,840 Great teamwork, guys. 2239 01:31:23,920 --> 01:31:25,280 How long have you two been married? 2240 01:31:25,400 --> 01:31:27,120 Eight years. Ten years. 2241 01:31:27,200 --> 01:31:28,600 Ten years. Eight. 2242 01:31:28,720 --> 01:31:30,400 Very long time. A very long time. 2243 01:31:30,720 --> 01:31:30,760 KATHERINE: Did you see the look on her face? DANNY: Yes. 2244 01:31:30,800 --> 01:31:32,840 KATHERINE: Did you see the look on her face? DANNY: Yes. 2245 01:31:32,920 --> 01:31:35,080 Do you understand what joy that brought me? 2246 01:31:35,200 --> 01:31:36,520 How about the look on her face 2247 01:31:36,600 --> 01:31:37,840 when you were doing the juggling, though? 2248 01:31:37,920 --> 01:31:39,240 The juggling was the highlight for me. 2249 01:31:39,320 --> 01:31:40,800 That was pretty good. You liked that? 2250 01:31:40,880 --> 01:31:41,960 It was so cute. 2251 01:31:42,080 --> 01:31:44,280 And when you talked about her arms getting done? 2252 01:31:44,400 --> 01:31:46,120 The good news is she's beating the hell 2253 01:31:46,200 --> 01:31:47,400 out of the iPod guy right now. 2254 01:31:47,560 --> 01:31:48,600 Right now, I know. 2255 01:31:50,080 --> 01:31:52,200 That was good. That was really fun. 2256 01:31:52,400 --> 01:31:54,880 You know what, I think that was the first time 2257 01:31:54,960 --> 01:31:56,400 that you and I have ever 2258 01:31:57,560 --> 01:32:00,760 gone out, you know, just us. 2259 01:32:00,920 --> 01:32:02,240 I know. I do. 2260 01:32:02,320 --> 01:32:03,920 I feel bad for the Soul Patch now. 2261 01:32:04,600 --> 01:32:05,640 I do. 2262 01:32:05,760 --> 01:32:07,240 Now that you've been out with a real man. 2263 01:32:07,400 --> 01:32:09,680 And by a real man, I mean a man who showers. 2264 01:32:09,760 --> 01:32:11,320 (LAUGHING) 2265 01:32:11,960 --> 01:32:14,680 I think it's so adorable 2266 01:32:14,760 --> 01:32:17,240 how obsessed you are with this guy. 2267 01:32:17,280 --> 01:32:19,520 I just can't picture you guys on a date, you know what I mean? 2268 01:32:19,720 --> 01:32:21,400 Who said it was a date ever? 2269 01:32:21,600 --> 01:32:22,920 You. You. 2270 01:32:23,120 --> 01:32:25,240 You get very excited when you talk to this man. 2271 01:32:25,360 --> 01:32:29,280 Listen, Dr. Gervitz is moving his practice to New York City. 2272 01:32:29,400 --> 01:32:30,440 Yeah. 2273 01:32:30,520 --> 01:32:33,080 Brian is not gonna go with him, and he... 2274 01:32:33,320 --> 01:32:35,960 He's just been asking me if 2275 01:32:36,800 --> 01:32:39,960 I would want to, you know, replace him. 2276 01:32:40,480 --> 01:32:41,800 You're going? 2277 01:32:42,440 --> 01:32:43,600 No. 2278 01:32:44,000 --> 01:32:45,440 You can't do that to me. 2279 01:32:45,600 --> 01:32:47,600 I just wanted to see how you'd react. 2280 01:32:47,680 --> 01:32:49,960 Look at you. You can't live without me. 2281 01:32:50,120 --> 01:32:51,520 "What do I do? How do I sign it? 2282 01:32:51,600 --> 01:32:52,920 "How do I pay for it?" 2283 01:32:53,000 --> 01:32:55,840 No. You kind of played with me a little bit, though. 2284 01:32:55,960 --> 01:32:58,640 You could've told me that earlier. 2285 01:32:58,720 --> 01:33:00,160 You're just messing with me? 2286 01:33:00,240 --> 01:33:02,000 Trying to get me a little jealous, weren't you? 2287 01:33:02,120 --> 01:33:04,960 No. I just was having fun teasing you. 2288 01:33:05,160 --> 01:33:07,600 That was fun. Why? Were you jealous? 2289 01:33:08,120 --> 01:33:11,440 No. Get outta here. Was I jealous? No. 2290 01:33:11,520 --> 01:33:15,240 Look at you. You're grinning, you can't stop, what is that smile? 2291 01:33:15,320 --> 01:33:16,800 I didn't know you had that many teeth. 2292 01:33:16,960 --> 01:33:19,600 I know. I got like 55 teeth. 2293 01:33:19,680 --> 01:33:21,040 (BOTH LAUGHING) 2294 01:33:21,520 --> 01:33:23,240 No. So there's nothing? 2295 01:33:23,840 --> 01:33:26,000 You and... There's nothing? 2296 01:33:26,320 --> 01:33:27,480 No love connection? 2297 01:33:27,680 --> 01:33:29,880 No. Mmm-mmm. Nothing. 2298 01:33:30,000 --> 01:33:32,040 Well, then, that's a shame. 2299 01:33:32,240 --> 01:33:33,280 What? 2300 01:33:33,840 --> 01:33:36,360 That coconut getting in the way tonight. 2301 01:33:36,560 --> 01:33:37,800 That's a shame, don't you think? Oh. 2302 01:33:37,960 --> 01:33:39,520 No. No, that was bad. 2303 01:33:39,720 --> 01:33:40,760 The coconut. 2304 01:33:40,840 --> 01:33:42,000 You're lucky that coconut was there. 2305 01:33:42,200 --> 01:33:45,160 You couldn't... You wouldn't have been able to handle it. 2306 01:33:45,520 --> 01:33:47,000 Maybe you're right. 2307 01:33:50,040 --> 01:33:52,840 You got more tricks that I don't know about? 2308 01:33:53,000 --> 01:33:54,120 I don't know. 2309 01:33:54,200 --> 01:33:55,360 Okay. 2310 01:33:55,560 --> 01:33:57,760 I don't know anything. 2311 01:33:58,480 --> 01:33:59,520 Mommy? Mommy? 2312 01:34:01,400 --> 01:34:02,960 Hi, guys! 2313 01:34:03,040 --> 01:34:04,840 Hey! What're you doing? 2314 01:34:05,040 --> 01:34:06,800 The babysitter fell asleep. 2315 01:34:06,880 --> 01:34:08,040 Oh, great. 2316 01:34:08,200 --> 01:34:09,320 I mean, come on, 2317 01:34:09,400 --> 01:34:11,040 it's like a Hawaiian Rosa, huh? 2318 01:34:11,880 --> 01:34:13,200 Is it? Oh, my God. 2319 01:34:13,400 --> 01:34:14,520 DANNY: Yeah, that's asleep. 2320 01:34:14,600 --> 01:34:15,680 KATHERINE: Look at that. 2321 01:34:15,760 --> 01:34:16,720 (CLEARS THROAT) 2322 01:34:16,800 --> 01:34:18,760 (BARKING) 2323 01:34:20,200 --> 01:34:22,040 DANNY: Wow. KATHERINE: She's out deep. 2324 01:34:22,240 --> 01:34:23,680 All right. Good to see you guys. 2325 01:34:23,840 --> 01:34:25,240 Good night. 2326 01:34:25,520 --> 01:34:27,760 Good job. One more day of lying, guys. 2327 01:34:27,880 --> 01:34:29,720 We're almost done. Home stretch. 2328 01:34:29,880 --> 01:34:32,600 All right. So, you gotta go to sleep. 2329 01:34:33,200 --> 01:34:34,240 Yeah. 2330 01:34:34,360 --> 01:34:36,200 Tired? Yes. Good night. 2331 01:34:36,360 --> 01:34:38,080 Okay. That was fun. Good job. 2332 01:34:40,120 --> 01:34:41,600 Good night. Good night. 2333 01:34:41,960 --> 01:34:43,560 Good night. All right. 2334 01:34:43,760 --> 01:34:44,760 Okay, Danny. 2335 01:34:45,400 --> 01:34:47,400 Okay, good luck. I'll see you in the morning. 2336 01:34:51,800 --> 01:34:53,400 (POP MUSIC PLAYING) 2337 01:35:09,720 --> 01:35:11,880 She ain't going to sleep. 2338 01:35:21,640 --> 01:35:25,280 (EXCLAIMS) Hello! There he is, Danny! 2339 01:35:25,440 --> 01:35:26,600 It's nice to meet you. 2340 01:35:26,800 --> 01:35:27,920 Where were you going? 2341 01:35:28,000 --> 01:35:29,000 What? 2342 01:35:29,120 --> 01:35:31,000 I was going... I was going to... 2343 01:35:31,160 --> 01:35:32,200 Where were you guys? 2344 01:35:32,280 --> 01:35:33,440 I was looking for you guys at... 2345 01:35:33,640 --> 01:35:35,120 What happened? How was the dinner? 2346 01:35:36,280 --> 01:35:39,800 Dolph gave mouth- to-mouth to a sheep. 2347 01:35:39,960 --> 01:35:41,440 Yeah. And then we had a few drinks. 2348 01:35:41,600 --> 01:35:45,680 Yes. It was choking and so I gave him sheep-P-R. 2349 01:35:45,720 --> 01:35:47,360 (BOTH LAUGHING) 2350 01:35:47,440 --> 01:35:50,120 But he was the black sheep of the family, 2351 01:35:50,320 --> 01:35:54,320 but he was also white, if that makes any sense. 2352 01:35:55,120 --> 01:35:57,600 And we've been talking about how amazing this trip has been 2353 01:35:57,680 --> 01:35:59,560 and how amazing you are. 2354 01:35:59,640 --> 01:36:01,160 Yeah, all joking aside, 2355 01:36:01,240 --> 01:36:03,000 it really has been first-class. 2356 01:36:03,200 --> 01:36:06,200 And that, if the kids and I hadn't kept you so busy, 2357 01:36:06,360 --> 01:36:08,360 that you might've had the time to do something 2358 01:36:08,480 --> 01:36:10,200 you've been thinking about doing? 2359 01:36:10,360 --> 01:36:12,360 The one ringy-dingy? 2360 01:36:12,880 --> 01:36:15,480 Uh... Yeah, you told her about that? 2361 01:36:16,000 --> 01:36:18,640 I don't need you to get me a ring, Danny. 2362 01:36:18,720 --> 01:36:21,040 Let's just get married. Right here. 2363 01:36:21,560 --> 01:36:22,640 What now? 2364 01:36:22,720 --> 01:36:26,480 Why not? We're in Hawaii. Let's do it tomorrow. 2365 01:36:26,920 --> 01:36:29,560 I mean, this has felt special from the moment that we met. 2366 01:36:29,640 --> 01:36:31,600 And I've seen the way that you are with the kids, 2367 01:36:31,680 --> 01:36:34,440 and it's exactly the way I always imagined my husband would be. 2368 01:36:34,520 --> 01:36:36,400 Oh, man... 2369 01:36:36,720 --> 01:36:38,600 I don't wanna wait. 2370 01:36:38,640 --> 01:36:40,520 I just wanna start my life with you. 2371 01:36:44,080 --> 01:36:45,240 Hi! 2372 01:36:46,080 --> 01:36:47,640 (EXCLAIMING) 2373 01:36:47,720 --> 01:36:50,920 Hi, everybody! Dolph. 2374 01:36:51,360 --> 01:36:52,480 There you are. 2375 01:36:52,520 --> 01:36:54,600 I have been looking everywhere for you. 2376 01:36:54,760 --> 01:36:58,320 For me? Yes. Come here. Come on, let's go. 2377 01:36:58,400 --> 01:37:00,520 No way, we can't go. What? 2378 01:37:00,600 --> 01:37:02,160 My little Oompa Loompa. 2379 01:37:02,560 --> 01:37:07,360 Danny and Palmer, they're getting married tomorrow! 2380 01:37:08,600 --> 01:37:09,880 What? 2381 01:37:09,960 --> 01:37:11,600 No, no, I mean, why? 2382 01:37:11,680 --> 01:37:13,840 Yeah, we are. But what do you think? 2383 01:37:14,040 --> 01:37:15,840 What do you mean, what do I think? 2384 01:37:16,200 --> 01:37:17,960 I mean, what does it matter what I think? 2385 01:37:18,040 --> 01:37:20,640 I think that's great. 2386 01:37:20,720 --> 01:37:22,360 Thank you, Devlin. 2387 01:37:22,720 --> 01:37:24,440 I really hope that you can be there tomorrow. 2388 01:37:24,920 --> 01:37:26,040 I can't. 2389 01:37:26,200 --> 01:37:27,880 It's really... 2390 01:37:27,960 --> 01:37:30,920 It's bad luck for the ex to be at the wedding. 2391 01:37:31,080 --> 01:37:32,200 Come on, Dolph. Let's go. 2392 01:37:32,880 --> 01:37:34,320 Where are we going? They are here. 2393 01:37:34,400 --> 01:37:35,560 We gotta have the sweet sex. 2394 01:37:35,760 --> 01:37:37,080 What? Okay? Come on. 2395 01:37:37,240 --> 01:37:39,920 Okay. Congratulations, though. 2396 01:37:43,240 --> 01:37:44,800 (CHASING CARS PLAYING) 2397 01:37:57,320 --> 01:37:58,920 PALMER: I'm trying them on as we speak. 2398 01:37:59,120 --> 01:38:00,320 I know, but I just bought them. 2399 01:38:00,480 --> 01:38:04,280 I had some with me and the one I have on is pretty amazing. 2400 01:39:09,640 --> 01:39:11,360 (EXCLAIMS) 2401 01:39:11,400 --> 01:39:13,560 (SCREAMING) Michael! 2402 01:39:16,040 --> 01:39:17,400 Nincompoop! 2403 01:39:18,840 --> 01:39:20,560 Nincompoopenschtic! 2404 01:39:20,720 --> 01:39:23,400 Michael, the crap is the stinking... 2405 01:39:35,000 --> 01:39:36,240 (RINGING) 2406 01:39:39,200 --> 01:39:40,480 Hello? 2407 01:39:40,560 --> 01:39:42,320 DANNY: Hey, you up? 2408 01:39:42,800 --> 01:39:46,560 Hi. Yeah. Glad you called. 2409 01:39:47,720 --> 01:39:48,920 Are you? 2410 01:39:49,880 --> 01:39:50,920 Um... 2411 01:39:51,000 --> 01:39:53,840 Yeah, I was, uh, just checking flights 2412 01:39:54,000 --> 01:39:57,440 for your parents tomorrow and I found... 2413 01:39:57,600 --> 01:40:00,000 No, no, no. You don't have to do that. 2414 01:40:00,560 --> 01:40:02,240 Her parents aren't coming in 2415 01:40:02,320 --> 01:40:04,760 and she wants it to be kind of elope-y. 2416 01:40:05,400 --> 01:40:06,760 Elope-y. 2417 01:40:07,440 --> 01:40:08,600 Got it. 2418 01:40:08,680 --> 01:40:10,640 Okay, uh, so, are you all set 2419 01:40:10,720 --> 01:40:12,720 for what you need to wear tomorrow? 2420 01:40:13,400 --> 01:40:16,000 Do you think this is a good idea? 2421 01:40:16,760 --> 01:40:18,680 What? The wedding? 2422 01:40:19,120 --> 01:40:23,120 Yeah, the wedding... Just the whole Palmer thing. 2423 01:40:25,800 --> 01:40:29,120 Well, that's why we came out here, right? 2424 01:40:29,800 --> 01:40:31,280 I guess. 2425 01:40:32,440 --> 01:40:33,960 You don't think it's crazy? 2426 01:40:35,120 --> 01:40:36,120 (SIGHS) 2427 01:40:38,120 --> 01:40:42,400 Um, Danny, you don't need my permission. 2428 01:40:43,760 --> 01:40:45,760 Okay? You're a big boy. 2429 01:40:45,960 --> 01:40:47,480 I know, I just... 2430 01:40:51,640 --> 01:40:54,040 I know if I do this that... 2431 01:40:55,000 --> 01:40:58,000 Just, things could get weird 2432 01:40:58,080 --> 01:41:00,400 between you and me at the office, so... 2433 01:41:01,480 --> 01:41:04,000 Well, you're not gonna have to worry about that. 2434 01:41:06,320 --> 01:41:08,160 You going to New York? 2435 01:41:08,320 --> 01:41:11,360 Yeah. I just, you know, I mean... 2436 01:41:12,000 --> 01:41:14,840 As much as I was looking forward to you, um, 2437 01:41:15,680 --> 01:41:18,080 reconstructing my face, 2438 01:41:19,640 --> 01:41:22,520 I really just need to start fresh, you know? 2439 01:41:25,320 --> 01:41:27,160 Hello, are you there? 2440 01:41:28,080 --> 01:41:29,640 You understand? 2441 01:41:30,840 --> 01:41:32,320 I guess. 2442 01:41:33,760 --> 01:41:36,680 It's an awful lot of guessing coming through this phone. 2443 01:41:38,200 --> 01:41:40,040 I've been divorced, I have two kids, 2444 01:41:40,120 --> 01:41:42,040 I don't have time for guessing. 2445 01:41:46,880 --> 01:41:48,440 Got a big day tomorrow, Doc, all right? 2446 01:41:48,560 --> 01:41:51,440 So why don't you just get yourself some sleep? 2447 01:42:05,880 --> 01:42:08,040 So that's it. You have nothing else to worry about. 2448 01:42:08,200 --> 01:42:10,240 We have the flowers, the music and the location, 2449 01:42:10,400 --> 01:42:12,640 which is ha-wowie, by the way, you're gonna love it. 2450 01:42:12,800 --> 01:42:14,920 I promise you it is going to be 2451 01:42:15,040 --> 01:42:17,960 the most wonderful day of your life, guaranteed. 2452 01:42:18,200 --> 01:42:19,960 Devlin. Yeah. 2453 01:42:20,080 --> 01:42:21,320 Oh! Palmer! I didn't... 2454 01:42:25,080 --> 01:42:29,320 Well, you just look absolutely beautiful. 2455 01:42:29,920 --> 01:42:31,800 Really? Thank you. Yes. 2456 01:42:32,560 --> 01:42:34,080 Devlin, can I ask you something? 2457 01:42:34,160 --> 01:42:35,240 'Course. 2458 01:42:36,560 --> 01:42:38,480 Do you still want to be with Danny? 2459 01:42:40,080 --> 01:42:41,160 Wait. What? 2460 01:42:41,240 --> 01:42:42,800 Because I think that 2461 01:42:44,600 --> 01:42:47,840 he still may be in love with you. 2462 01:42:49,320 --> 01:42:50,560 Really? 2463 01:42:52,680 --> 01:42:54,760 Why would you think that? 2464 01:42:55,240 --> 01:42:58,240 He's always glowing when you're around. 2465 01:42:58,400 --> 01:43:01,680 And he laughs at your jokes. He doesn't laugh at mine. 2466 01:43:01,840 --> 01:43:06,240 Palmer, trust me, there is nothing between me and Danny. 2467 01:43:06,520 --> 01:43:08,280 We're just, you know, 2468 01:43:08,800 --> 01:43:10,080 we're familiar. 2469 01:43:11,520 --> 01:43:13,280 And you are the girl for him. 2470 01:43:14,280 --> 01:43:15,760 He even told me that last night. 2471 01:43:16,440 --> 01:43:19,440 My God, Devlin, this is such a relief 2472 01:43:19,800 --> 01:43:23,440 because I could never stand a chance going up against you. 2473 01:43:23,600 --> 01:43:25,480 Turn around. Tell me if this fits. 2474 01:43:25,640 --> 01:43:27,680 Put the hanger up your nose. 2475 01:43:27,760 --> 01:43:28,880 (LAUGHS) Stop! 2476 01:43:39,880 --> 01:43:41,160 Excuse me. 2477 01:43:41,320 --> 01:43:42,720 Here you go. Thank you. 2478 01:43:42,880 --> 01:43:44,160 Katherine! 2479 01:43:44,400 --> 01:43:45,840 Katherine! Oh, Devlin. 2480 01:43:46,000 --> 01:43:47,640 That was so much fun last night. 2481 01:43:47,720 --> 01:43:48,800 I know. 2482 01:43:49,160 --> 01:43:52,160 I am still trying to work out how you cheated. 2483 01:43:52,840 --> 01:43:55,240 I didn't. That's what happened. 2484 01:43:55,480 --> 01:43:57,680 So, where's Danny? 2485 01:43:59,800 --> 01:44:01,000 Devlin... 2486 01:44:01,800 --> 01:44:04,800 Danny's at his wedding. 2487 01:44:05,320 --> 01:44:06,480 Come again? 2488 01:44:06,640 --> 01:44:08,160 I was never married to him. 2489 01:44:09,520 --> 01:44:11,360 All a big lie that I made up. 2490 01:44:11,520 --> 01:44:12,760 Why? 2491 01:44:13,360 --> 01:44:18,000 'Cause I couldn't stand the thought of you knowing the truth. 2492 01:44:18,040 --> 01:44:19,160 Really? 2493 01:44:19,640 --> 01:44:22,320 So, yeah, I'm a single mother. 2494 01:44:22,880 --> 01:44:24,400 I have two kids that I love 2495 01:44:24,480 --> 01:44:25,880 more than anything in the world. 2496 01:44:26,040 --> 01:44:29,920 I drive a Honda. Still have dial-up internet. 2497 01:44:30,520 --> 01:44:34,200 I got a 2.7 GPA in college, not a 3.4. 2498 01:44:34,960 --> 01:44:36,200 And while I'm at it telling the truth, 2499 01:44:37,040 --> 01:44:38,400 I named my kids' poop after you. 2500 01:44:40,560 --> 01:44:43,000 And I work for Danny. I'm his assistant. 2501 01:44:43,040 --> 01:44:44,200 That's it. 2502 01:44:44,680 --> 01:44:48,000 Really, I would never have guessed this. 2503 01:44:48,040 --> 01:44:49,840 I mean, you two had a real connection. 2504 01:44:51,040 --> 01:44:54,520 He's great. He's the greatest guy. 2505 01:44:56,480 --> 01:44:59,120 And I might even be in love with him, 2506 01:45:00,200 --> 01:45:02,120 but that doesn't really matter at this moment 2507 01:45:02,240 --> 01:45:06,600 because he is getting married to another person right now. 2508 01:45:08,920 --> 01:45:10,720 lan and I are breaking up. 2509 01:45:11,560 --> 01:45:14,760 What? What happened? 2510 01:45:16,080 --> 01:45:18,240 Well, for starters, he's gay. 2511 01:45:18,400 --> 01:45:19,520 He's gay? 2512 01:45:19,600 --> 01:45:21,160 I mean, look at him. 2513 01:45:21,320 --> 01:45:23,320 That's a strong muscle right there. 2514 01:45:23,400 --> 01:45:24,880 I'm squeezing. 2515 01:45:25,440 --> 01:45:26,840 Devlin, I gotta tell you, 2516 01:45:26,920 --> 01:45:29,800 last night, with the ass grab of the coconut, 2517 01:45:29,880 --> 01:45:31,880 little bit of a red flag. 2518 01:45:31,960 --> 01:45:33,480 (LAUGHS) 2519 01:45:33,560 --> 01:45:35,600 I've seen him do that with the soap. 2520 01:45:35,680 --> 01:45:36,960 (EXCLAIMS) 2521 01:45:37,360 --> 01:45:38,960 (SINGING HAWAIIAN TUNE) 2522 01:45:42,360 --> 01:45:43,920 What about the iPod? 2523 01:45:44,080 --> 01:45:45,760 Oh, he didn't invent shit. 2524 01:45:45,840 --> 01:45:47,080 He didn't? 2525 01:45:47,240 --> 01:45:49,800 No! He made his money suing the Dodgers 2526 01:45:49,880 --> 01:45:52,000 after he got hit by a foul ball. 2527 01:45:53,360 --> 01:45:56,800 Oh, God! That's so... What? 2528 01:45:57,800 --> 01:45:59,440 Well, this is different. 2529 01:45:59,760 --> 01:46:04,520 Yeah, why didn't we try this truth-telling thing before? 2530 01:46:05,120 --> 01:46:06,360 I don't know. 2531 01:46:07,440 --> 01:46:09,080 Hey. Hey. 2532 01:46:10,360 --> 01:46:11,360 What? 2533 01:46:11,440 --> 01:46:12,680 That's nice. 2534 01:46:12,760 --> 01:46:14,960 It's nice to tell the truth. That's good. 2535 01:46:15,160 --> 01:46:16,560 The truth is fun, isn't it? 2536 01:46:16,720 --> 01:46:18,120 Like, were you telling the truth 2537 01:46:18,160 --> 01:46:19,880 when you said you might be in love with me? 2538 01:46:20,640 --> 01:46:22,440 I'm gonna leave you two. Okay. 2539 01:46:22,600 --> 01:46:24,480 I'm gonna go get a divorce. Good luck. 2540 01:46:26,280 --> 01:46:27,600 (LAUGHING) 2541 01:46:30,000 --> 01:46:32,440 Wait, where are my kids? 2542 01:46:32,960 --> 01:46:35,280 Palmer took them out for ice cream. 2543 01:46:36,080 --> 01:46:38,400 So, how was the wedding? 2544 01:46:38,480 --> 01:46:39,840 Okay. All right. 2545 01:46:39,880 --> 01:46:43,880 So, we're standing on top of this beautiful cliff. Uh-huh. 2546 01:46:44,000 --> 01:46:47,240 I start looking out into the Pacific, 2547 01:46:47,320 --> 01:46:48,880 and I think to myself, 2548 01:46:49,000 --> 01:46:53,760 "Wow. I am about to start my life 2549 01:46:54,360 --> 01:46:55,880 "with the one I love." 2550 01:46:57,680 --> 01:46:59,640 And the only problem was, 2551 01:46:59,720 --> 01:47:02,160 the one I love was not with me. 2552 01:47:03,480 --> 01:47:04,560 She wasn't? 2553 01:47:04,640 --> 01:47:05,840 She was not. 2554 01:47:06,840 --> 01:47:08,640 So you didn't? 2555 01:47:08,840 --> 01:47:10,040 I couldn't. 2556 01:47:10,080 --> 01:47:11,320 You couldn't. 2557 01:47:11,920 --> 01:47:16,320 I mean, don't we have something extra 2558 01:47:16,360 --> 01:47:17,720 happening with us? 2559 01:47:19,520 --> 01:47:21,040 Danny, I... 2560 01:47:23,360 --> 01:47:26,720 What happens when we're not on fake-cation 2561 01:47:26,760 --> 01:47:29,960 and you wake up and realize this is real? 2562 01:47:30,120 --> 01:47:33,040 You are the only real thing I've ever had in my life. 2563 01:47:33,240 --> 01:47:35,400 Danny, come on, man. I don't... 2564 01:47:35,560 --> 01:47:38,600 She's beautiful and she's... I'm not twenty-three. 2565 01:47:40,400 --> 01:47:42,360 I'm not that. 2566 01:47:42,560 --> 01:47:44,480 She's good, she's very nice, 2567 01:47:44,520 --> 01:47:47,240 there's only one problem. She's not you. 2568 01:47:47,480 --> 01:47:48,560 She's not you. 2569 01:47:49,560 --> 01:47:51,240 I have two kids. 2570 01:47:51,560 --> 01:47:54,920 I can't just drive them off a cliff. You know? 2571 01:47:55,360 --> 01:47:56,680 (IN ENGLISH ACCENT) I love those kids 2572 01:47:56,760 --> 01:47:58,800 more than anything in the world, Guv'nor. 2573 01:47:58,880 --> 01:48:00,480 (LAUGHS) 2574 01:48:00,560 --> 01:48:03,800 No, I wanna be with those guys like 23 hours a day. 2575 01:48:04,200 --> 01:48:06,040 What about the other hour? 2576 01:48:15,560 --> 01:48:17,360 (PEOPLE CHEERING) 2577 01:48:17,440 --> 01:48:18,760 SAILOR: Good job! 2578 01:48:18,920 --> 01:48:20,480 That's what I'm talking about. 2579 01:48:20,560 --> 01:48:21,920 Whatever! 2580 01:48:25,440 --> 01:48:26,520 (SQUEAKING) 2581 01:48:26,600 --> 01:48:27,880 DANNY: Well, everything turned out 2582 01:48:27,960 --> 01:48:30,120 pretty good for everybody. 2583 01:48:30,280 --> 01:48:33,160 Squirt got to swim with the dolphins. 2584 01:48:33,880 --> 01:48:35,280 (CHEERING) 2585 01:48:36,360 --> 01:48:39,640 Palmer met some tennis player her own age on the plane ride home, 2586 01:48:39,760 --> 01:48:42,120 who's an even bigger fan of 'N Sync. 2587 01:48:43,920 --> 01:48:46,440 And Maggie's about to start a three-week acting class 2588 01:48:46,520 --> 01:48:48,760 with the actual Dolph Lundgren. 2589 01:48:49,880 --> 01:48:51,800 And what happened for me? 2590 01:48:52,080 --> 01:48:55,280 Well, I'm finally wearing my wedding ring for real. 2591 01:48:55,480 --> 01:48:57,360 And now when women ask me about it, 2592 01:48:57,520 --> 01:48:59,640 I'm gonna tell them I'm married to a woman 2593 01:48:59,720 --> 01:49:02,440 who doesn't beat me, doesn't cheat on me, 2594 01:49:02,640 --> 01:49:05,560 doesn't drink... Well, doesn't drink that much. 2595 01:49:05,640 --> 01:49:08,520 And who I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with. 2596 01:49:08,600 --> 01:49:11,360 A woman named Katherine. 2597 01:49:11,440 --> 01:49:14,720 Would you like to dance with your wife, Doctor Maccabee? 2598 01:49:15,000 --> 01:49:17,040 Yes, I would, Mrs. Maccabee. 2599 01:49:17,320 --> 01:49:18,400 Yeah, it's okay. 2600 01:49:20,800 --> 01:49:22,160 One more. 2601 01:49:23,920 --> 01:49:25,200 (EXCLAIMS) 2602 01:49:27,600 --> 01:49:30,520 You were right, Soul Patch is going hard on that bass. 2603 01:49:30,680 --> 01:49:32,240 What did I tell you? Uh-huh. 2604 01:49:35,600 --> 01:49:38,000 Hey. Encore, man. I'm just kidding. Stop. 2605 01:49:43,160 --> 01:49:45,360 I get it. It is long and it's gross. 2606 01:49:45,520 --> 01:49:48,200 You don't need wind for that thing to swing around. 187184