Original subtitles

Hey!

Hey, Marky, good to see you!

Oh, this is Pumpkin here.

Yeah, give him a good ride because he only has two days left to live and his

best friend just died.

Oh, wow. Hey, you guys have so much fun!

And don't let him drive.

Don't worry. Bye, Pumpkin. Come here. Hey.

Bye.

You know,

Pumpkin, the good news is at least you had a best friend.

I never had that kind of luck.

Folks don't really take to me.

I kind of drive them away.

You're kind of quiet, bud.

This is your last lap, so what do you want to do?

Okay. Whatever you want.

You want to go faster?

All right.

Really?

Yeah.

You're kind of a dick, dude.

Yeah, I did it.

Hurry up, twin.

Come on, we got a big day.

Hey, tag me in, boss.

Hippos are a bloat.

A group of bees is called a swarm.

Dear Dad, not sure if you're getting my letters. I really miss you.

Mom isn't the same.

And a group of pigs is a police station.

Steve, pay attention.

Hike up front.

Can you tell me what a group of crows is called?

It's called a murder.

You know what, Steve?

A hint on how you can memorize murder?

Think of your dad.

Isn't your dad in prison for murder?

So crow equals Steve's dad.

I heard his dad was a drug dealer.

I heard people are trying to kill him and his dad.

Guess I'm not that dumb.

Figured which letter is serious in my head.

You forgot the W.

I'm dropping out.

Uh, who's that? Your girlfriend?

Good one.

What are you guys up to today?

Just did some looting this morning. I think we found John Bonet's wedding

Hey, are you okay back there? Who do you care? Once you shove that dog up your

ass. Hey, be cool. He's got, he's got cancer.

A truck's got cancer. You should call it not enough car, not enough truck. I got

a Mercedes lined up. This is kind of a rattle right now, but... It's a nice

dream.

You're going to wake up in the backseat with your dick in your hand.

Oh, whoops, sorry. You don't have a backseat.

Or a dick.

Yeah, I'm going to cruise.

Take care, dudes.

All right, stay black, bitch.

What a jiffy, Lou.

Hey, you need a hall pass.

I'm dropping out.

Screw y 'all.

I'm his mother.

Made him with my own vagina. That's okay with you.

He's alive.

Someone said he was dead on text. Did you save him?

Yeah. I think he got hit by a car.

What happened was I saw him on the side of the road, and then I carried him and

brought him here in my truck.

He is not dead yet. Y 'all are so dumb, LOL.

B or B.

You're a savior.

He probably won't make it, though.

Doesn't look good.

Prob dead.

Did you get the insurance deal? I just printed it. It's the free one, but it

covers indoor lightening and room temp water deaths.

Did he drown?

Looks wet.

Oh, God, he drowned.

No, I think he's going to be okay.

I don't know. Our family dies easily.

God, I loved him. And you'll love that insurance money.

I know what you're going to get.

Something God didn't give us because he don't love us.

Are you going to take the insurance money to buy yourself a wiener?

Why? Are you selling?

No, I need mine.

What do you need it for?

Yeah, what do you need it for?

All right, got to run.

Ponderosa's having crab leg night, and we get one free entree if we're there by

five. All right, I'll hang with him. I'll keep an eye on him.

Can't believe he's dead.

To my mom and grandpa?

No, I don't think so yet, but you know, I'm sure she will.

I'd be surprised if she does.

So what's your name?

Steve.

With an F.

Steve? Where's the F? At the end?

Steve. Steve?

Steve. Steve.

Steve. I'm saying it. Steve.

Am I saying something different?

Steve.

Steve. Do I have to spell it out? Yes.

S -T -E -E -F.

Wrong. It's Steve.

Well, that's good.

Steve is... I'm Marky.

So I don't know what to do. I'm going to call your school, say you're not

coming. I just quit.

If you want to come down to my job, we're always looking for new hands.

Do you like fancy restaurants?

No reverb.

Yeah.

Hey,

Mr. Troy.

I want to say thanks for all the work, man. It's a blessing to be working here

near fine dining, isn't it? Oh, yeah.

I was kind of wondering if maybe you could help me with like a raise or some

benefits or something.

Inflation's been kicking my butt and my mom's on my case about paying for her

sex change.

Yeah.

In due time, pal, okay? In due time.

I don't think you remember a couple of years ago, I was giving you college

credit. Yeah, it was awful nice of you.

I should have been in college.

Listen, the truth of the matter is, I can't put your legal name down on

because somebody might know your daddy and come snooping around, and I don't

need that kind of aggravation. But I'll tell you what I will do.

Two piss pumps.

Here we go.

There you go. Boom, boom.

Feel better?

Ah, listen to that flow.

It's beautiful.

Oh, folks, you too?

That sounds like... Bichon bones?

Nah, I know that rattle. Jeez, I wish this was Jeopardy. I'd win, right?

What are dentures, Alex?

It happens a lot. Some dude squeezes out a big dump, and then he turns around to

peep his bulwark and plop. His teeth fall in. Yeah.

Alex is dead.

I think his wife killed him.

No. Speaking of death, Marky's worrying himself into an early grave, sir.

He's got to take Pam on an anniversary date this week, and he doesn't know what

to get her.

Oh, geez.

Give it a kick, will you?

Yeah. Yeah!

Boom! Good kick, but you're going to need a hammer for that bulge.

There you go. Oh, bet I can get it in six swings. No way. There's too much BM

there. But you know what?

You won a race, so I will bet you $20 that it takes you ten swings.

You're on.

Hey, Marky. Ooh, he says four swings.

Hammer time.

Yeah. Go.

Yeah.

Boom.

All he's moving for.

You know something, pal?

You are the Thor of pipe shit.

Thanks, Mr. Troy. I feel good.

Hey, what's up, Terry?

What's up, Steve?

My dad got y 'all hurting shit logs.

You little Australian shit shipper, shepherd, ship shit.

The sheep that chase around the... You know what I'm saying. You and Mark are a

bunch of shit wrangling butt birds, and that's all y 'all ever gonna be.

At least your dad's around, Terry. Your dad's still in prison?

I mean, if you're cool with it, you might not have went to prison.

You ever think about that?

Hey, whoa.

Come on, can it, Terry.

You gonna help? You wanna grab a shovel? Or you just gonna be a dick?

Help you?

Do this shit? Suck out crapper tanks for a living? Hell nah.

I would never do that. That's a job for stanky -ass trailer trash folks like

yourself.

No offense, Dad. I hope you change your mind one day, son.

Shit, I'm never doing any of this goddamn bullshit.

You want me to suck out some butt fuck?

I'm freaking out of here, dude.

Have fun with them turds and stuck birds.

Plus, I'm working on my YouTube channel.

Cardi B likes one of my stories.

Y 'all ever heard of Logan Paul? How about you suck on these Logan balls?

Call the weatherman. I'm dating a squirter. 100 % chance of... Make sure

like, share, and subscribe, pussy.

We're like Block.

Suck my dick.

Not you, Dad.

Later, Terry.

What up, bitches? Welcome back to my channel.

Today we're getting lifted into lifted. And if you feel like gifted, give me

your dad's credit card information.

That's lunch.

He isn't okay.

He's in a better place.

Got hit that subscribe button and brought him home.

Yeah.

Who knew we'd be working here today?

What are the odds? I know.

Folks, I'm sorry, but a contract's a contract.

I love my son.

I miss him.

I'm going to start it up, boys.

Here we go.

Shit, that better not be Terry.

A young angel who lived life with zest.

Hey! Is that your mom?

Where's my dick?

Where's my cock money?

We're working.

That's funny. I don't see any poop pipe.

A young angel who lived life with zest. Oh, how convenient.

You two are over here playing Michael Shit Myers, not making any cash, and I'm

sitting around on this boring pussy all day.

Okay, okay. A Chinese proverb tells us the best time to plant a tree is 20

ago. They're talking about me in all the chat rooms.

Jesus fucking Christ.

Take care.

Bye, Mom.

It's good to see your mom.

Yeah. She's doing better.

She's still pissed that I chickened out on that insurance deal at the hospital.

You mean when you lived?

Yeah.

She's big on loyalty.

A Chinese proverb tells us the best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago.

The second best time is now.

Wise words.

Words Terry lived by and kept in the About section of his YouTube info page.

Don't wait for life to come to you.

You've got to go out and grab the life you want before it's too late.

Yeah.

I'm late.

Okay, no need to be sorry.

Pam, I know we've been together six months, so without further ado... Oh,

fucking starving.

Yeah, it's pretty... How we doing, guys?

I'm Mikey, I'm gonna be your waiter tonight.

Could I, uh, get you started with anything?

All kinds of things.

Can I, uh, get a glass of wine?

Oh, yeah, I can get you whatever you want.

I'm a waiter.

Hey, can I get some water?

Yeah, there's a water fountain down the street by the park.

But, uh, why don't I go see about that glass of wine?

Yeah, I wanted to say, is a Chinese proverb... Hot plate!

Ow!

Fuck! God dang! Hold you hot plate!

You pushed it right in my hand!

Ah, shoot! Wrong table!

My bad!

God damn!

Oh, here we go.

Oh, I love that necklace.

Are those diamonds?

No.

Marky gave it to me. It's zircon and the chain's copper.

Oh, they use copper to make machine parts, like hinges and doorknobs. Steve,

spell my heart.

Look what he wrote on it.

To my sweat heart.

He spelt it sweat.

Oh, come on. Say, uh, where's our pot weir?

I'll go grab him.

Hey, save some for me. Can't promise.

His eyes might be green, but he's not.

Clouds are everyone in this place.

Present company included.

Lovely to meet you.

Yes.

Where was I? For our anniversary weekend, I thought we'd go to Magic

got a room there for a couple nights, and I think it will be even more

Hot blade, hot blade.

Ah, ah, ah, ah. Don't touch it, it's a hot blade.

Take it, take it, take, ah.

Oh, shoot, wrong table.

Sorry, my bad.

What the?

I'm sorry, I want to ask you a question. Everyone keeps interrupting.

Magic cacti sounds boring as shit.

I heard you can't even smoke there.

Some bread, buddy.

Did I hear you say magic cacti? Yeah. Yeah, I'm actually going there this

weekend. I hear it's so much fun.

I know. The word cacti is fun.

Dessert, ice cream for two.

Ah!

God! Hot plate.

Why would ice cream be hot?

My bed. Won't table.

Shit. Hey, man. They're towing your car outside.

What? Yeah. My car?

Yeah. What? Why?

Does anyone have aloe vera?

I'll be right back.

Mark? He thinks he's so fucking cool with his Mercedes. It's a piece of shit.

wouldn't even drive my family off a cliff in this thing. Yeah, I don't

understand why Pam even likes him. He's dumber than JFK after the first bullet.

And he's weak as hell. Like, I heard he got caught up in playing with Pam.

Oh, lunch bunch, huh?

Oh, I know what'll go with those. A couple diet sodas.

Keep your kidneys on their toes.

I'll grab them.

Diet sodas, fellas.

Diet sodas.

He's been a diet soda ever since he got hit by that car. What a bitch. Imagine

your dad goes to jail, and then instead of your dad getting out of jail, you get

hit by a fucking car.

Y 'all seen that dumbass walking around like a rain man at the funeral

yesterday. Too bad it wasn't Marky's funeral.

There you go, fellas.

We were just kidding, man. Sure.

I didn't hear anything.

It's okay like the rapper, right?

Mm -hmm.

Marky? You've been crying?

No, I was just doing oil change on here.

With your eyes?

Are you crying because of Pam?

No.

Just these fucking turds are making fun of me and shitting all over me.

Pam hasn't gotten back to me for some reason.

Everything's going to be okay, man.

It's the ring I got her. Look at that thing.

Oh,

look at that.

What side is the diamond on?

I saw it earlier.

Oh, there it is.

That's some real marriage metal, man.

You two are going to be so happy.

Oh, shit.

There she posted again.

It says, ready to celebrate with a cactus emoji.

Awesome!

She's setting up for your anniversary at Magic Cacti. She went early.

Girls love to do that, Marky. Well, why isn't she texting me back?

It depends.

Haven't you seen Jaws? Or Saving Private Ryan?

I like the way you think, man.

Well, shit, what am I worried about?

Hey, come with us.

No, that's just for you two. No way. If we get married, you gotta be my best

man.

Wouldn't miss.

But as soon as we get back, I gotta lock down Mom's sex change.

Some of the items are on sale right now.

Do you think my mom will be happier when she's my dad?

Or is that dumb?

Kindness is never dumb.

I just want to have a dad again.

We'll make it happen.

Have I ever let you down?

Come on. Not yet.

Fuck, dude, Joss was good. Oz was alright.

I mean, I gotta admit, waiters are cool.

They just are.

I mean, the way they enter a room, the way they memorize your order without

writing any shit down, they get free refills, they steal your check.

You don't know that, Marky. You're just guessing. Yeah, I'm just guessing, but

goddamn, they carry prestige, you know what I mean? And they make all the

We're on the wrong end of the food chain, bud.

They're on the food end. We're on the other end where the food comes out.

Shit, Wonder Pan are so enchanted with them. I get it. They fucking rule.

That's crazy talk.

You're so much better than you think.

I bet you couldn't name 70 waiters better than you.

Rick Spicer.

Spicer. He was a good waiter.

Yeah. Damn.

R .I .P.

Fuck. Only 32 more, man. This is a sucker bet.

So you're saying I'm wrong about Patton?

I don't know what I'm saying.

But by guessing that she's cheating on you, you're not giving y 'all's love a

chance. I don't want to be right.

I want to be wrong. But like I said, she hasn't texted or called in three days.

Going on four.

Hello? Airplane mode.

I always drive with airplane mode on.

Oh. A car is just an airplane without wings on a road.

Brad Forrester, funruckers.

Good one, man.

R .I .P., man.

Cat attack, huh?

How was that?

Oh, shit. Hang on.

Here we go.

Hey, check my phone. I think she just posted something.

Oh, it looks like they're... He's not in her stories, is he?

Oh, sickening. Oh, I'm going to throw up.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

She's not wearing anything.

Yes, she is, Marky.

She's wearing that gold necklace you got her.

Right there, bouncing off that guy's wiener. I saw!

God dang it, my life sucks and your life sucks to Jason.

Everyone's always making fun of me.

Shit, they're making fun of you too. You just don't want to hear them.

Dude, I don't want to go to Magic Cacti where my relationship is over.

And I don't want to go back home where everyone thinks I'm a loser.

Well, I don't want to go back to a place where I can't escape my dad's shadow.

Can't make any money.

And I definitely want to go to a place where you're not going to be.

You know what they say.

All good things happen in Mexico.

I've heard that.

Yes, you have.

Let's do it.

Is

Mexico

closed? Go around.

I mean...

Did you see that? Yeah.

Remember I said look out?

What was that?

Oh, my God. Did I hit it?

No, you'd hear it.

Like that? Yeah.

Should we turn on the road radar? Yeah.

Rabbit. Oh, it's just rabbit.

Rabbit, rabbit.

What the heck?

Why are there so many? What is going on?

It's not about them. It's about you. I know, but they're just running.

They're rabbits.

Stay on the side. Just let us... Oh, Mark, come on.

Old rabbit.

Is this a senior area?

Panda. I don't think that's right.

Mad young.

Mad young?

That young what?

An Asian?

Anchor baby.

Rabbit. Rabbit.

Rabbit.

We're going to hide your plate. How many are there?

Magic. Oh, sorry.

I meant rabbit.

If I go too slow, I hear crunching. And if I go fast, I just hear thumping. What

do I do?

Just soar it.

Fuck damn!

Are you dreaming of buying something big?

It's a sign.

What is?

That sign.

That's a sign.

You see it? Oh, hit it. Dicks and chicks are coming to Tucson.

No. Well, that says chicks with dicks are coming. Oh.

I probably won't go.

I might go.

This time.

Yeah.

Busboys won it.

Yeah.

You know what Busboys hatch into.

What?

Waiters. Waiters. Yeah.

Let's do this.

Not without a plan.

Okay. You're right. All right. Here's the plan.

We go in, charm them.

Get the job. We're busboys for three days. Then we get bumped up to waiters.

And then everything happens for us. Pam's running back.

Follows me on Instagram.

You take care of your mom. You get her life.

We're done, dude.

Yeah. Let's go. You ready?

Let's go.

Hola.

¿Qué tal, amigos? Bienvenidos a Open Border Bistro. Table for two.

We wanted to see the manager.

Oh, all right.

Usually you guys just meet him in the bathroom stall.

In the bathroom?

Make a right.

Make a left.

I'll put him right in. Thank you.

new employee. There you go.

Okay. You know what? You look good, too.

But you know what? I think you should go into a different stall.

It's not that professional for all of the seats in the hall. You can go to

one, all right?

Because I'm so desperate.

Fuck you.

Fuck you in a minute.

Oh, yeah. This is better. Are you good?

I'm great.

Yeah. And look, you start the conversation, and if you have any

the wall. I'll lean over and say something supportive.

Yeah, we got this. Okay.

I was going to talk first. Oh, yeah. I meant it.

Never mind. Someone else is going to say something.

We're here for the job.

Hi. Come on in.

I want to thank you. Hey.

You like sports?

You know, I do. Actually. What's your wiener taste like?

My wiener? Don't say anything. Just be here.

Just be here.

What's it taste like?

I'm guessing it may be like...

Don't say anything.

Tell me what it tastes like.

I would say skin, maybe.

Stop it.

Keep going.

Do you want me to be quiet or do you want me to talk?

Quiet, quiet.

Tell me what it's like.

Okay. I would say it's a little skinny.

Oh,

fuck.

That's good.

Keep going.

Skin, underpants, maybe a little pee -pee. Can you feel me? You're nuts.

Make your favorite face for me. Make your favorite face for me right now.

Right now.

Later, hopefully.

But we'll only be sent busboy.

We sell the sign.

The sign?

Oh, the sign.

What?

So?

Are we busboy?

That's why you guys came here with the busboy job?

What do you think we're doing here?

Here to suck your dick?

I can't even touch my own dick.

The problem is busboys are like 19.

Oh, we've been 19.

Yeah, I was 19 a long time ago. Yeah.

You're 19 ,000.

Manager Tim, we got a 12 -stop with a chile relleno issue.

Fuck my life.

Well, you have any fun dining experience?

He does.

All right, show up here tomorrow at 3 .30 sharp.

April will show you around.

And this never happened.

What never happened? We're not hired?

No, you're hired.

You gotta shut the fuck up.

And I'm not gay.

What? Thank you. God bless you.

Mark, you're the one who got into those legal issues at the Rainforest Cafe.

Yeah, because I got Lyme disease.

Okay.

Right on time.

I'm going to introduce you to the other bussers who will give you the lay of the

land. And you.

Watch it.

Hola.

Right this way, boys.

Dish washing station.

Kitchen.

Yeah.

When you get hired at Buff Boys, you will be jumped in by the others.

Great.

What does that mean?

I don't know.

They just beat the shit out of you, like when you join a gang, so be ready.

Oh, I'm always ready to be beat up. I get beat up all the time.

Are you joking? No. It's just kind of a fun tradition, so if you're fresh fish,

you better run. Fresh fish.

Okay. Unless you want to take it like a man.

But you don't look too much like a man.

Is it the hair?

It's everything.

Yeah.

Fair enough.

Marky? Steve?

This is Ginger. She will be your guide today.

Shift meeting in 20. Welcome to Open Border Bistro, guys. It's a busy place,

I got you.

Do you want to help me tie my apron?

Oh, sure.

I see you looking at my mom's ass.

It's fine.

That's my son, Oscar.

He's going to be a doctor.

I'm not even in school.

Why aren't you in school?

Suck it, faggot. I'm Mexican.

What? Hey, we don't say that.

He's happy.

That's gay.

Well, I'm trans.

Isn't he handsome?

Hey. Those lockers are yours?

Eyeliner's the one nice thing I do for myself each day.

I work so much, I don't even feel like a woman sometimes.

Well, you're definitely a woman.

If something happens to me, don't call the police.

Oh, that's Gregor, and I'm Romina. Hi.

I'm a Pisces, full moon rising, and I'm also a Reiki healer. I'm Stephen. That's

Marky. We're an adult man.

So good to have you guys. We really could use the help.

Waiter promotions are in three months.

Yeah, we're all hoping to get promoted.

Round up, you pinocchios. Let's go.

I'm murder ball.

I'm in a wheelchair.

You're doing good.

I'll catch up.

Look alive out there today, folks.

Help the waiters where you can.

But remember, don't get in their way.

They're the humans.

You're the shadows.

86, the Sinaloa salmon.

Oh, and there was a recall on the Pop Smoke creme brulee.

Roll silverware when you can.

Also, refills.

Keep the customers wet.

Oh, and we have two new busboys.

Let them flank you until they're up to speed.

Do I think they'll last?

No. But what do I know? I'm just the fucking boss.

Any questions?

Nope. Great.

Anything you need, ask April.

I hear the talking of the DJ.

Can't understand just what does he say.

I'm on a Mexican radio.

I'm on a Mexican roll radio.

If you got a penis, get up.

No.

It's his job.

Every time I turn around, I'm messing up.

The murder ball squealed his wheels at me, and Oscar called me a, um, kitty

dick. Who cares about that kitty? He's like three.

What? He's almost eight.

He is?

Yeah. Those guys are just territorial.

And I broke their dishes.

Who cares?

They got insurance up the ass for that stuff. They'll probably make money.

They do?

Yeah. I just don't know if I can even do this anymore.

I think you're just kind of feeling sorry for yourself.

You've got to stay positive.

I mean, who beat that blockage out of that shit line in four swings?

It was you, dude.

And who's the guy that gave CPR to that old man at Piggly Wiggly on

Thanksgiving? He died.

Yes, but he was puffed up that you got him going. Yeah, I'm like, I'll be going

with 200 PSI, man. He was maxed out.

And who's the guy that's been working for years, really hard, to buy his mom

aftermarket dangler?

Again, you.

You're not going to pick this stuff up right away.

You know what I mean? This guy's been there forever.

But the thing is, you can't give up because if you give up,

I won't be far behind.

And I'm not ready to throw in the towel yet.

So that table's clean.

Waiters.

Waiter.

Thanks, Marky.

Talk about the U .S. inflation.

I understand.

Just a little.

No comprende is the riddle. I'm on a Mexican radio.

I'm on a Mexican radio.

About time for the waiter announcement, no?

If one of you fish bitches gets promoted over me, I'll be shocked. Well, you've

been here a week, dude. Oh,

yeah? But I'm better than you. And faster.

Watch it.

That's pretty good. Not bad. Two weeks ago, I didn't even know English. Now?

ABC, VFG, bitch.

Besides, man, come on. You two gotta be the oldest busboys in the universe.

Hey. More hands.

Yeah. Well, you know.

Man, the competition's gonna be tough.

Rick, fast.

Hey, good looking, man.

He should be disqualified.

I heard a picture of his abs got a hundred likes.

Wait, how many?

What if they only pick one of us?

They won't do that, dude. We're a team.

They don't know that, Marky. They don't give a shit.

Three minutes, losers.

Hey, Joe, Mario Kart.

Boosted. Here we go.

I got it, you see?

How'd you end up all wheeled out, brother?

I got polio from one of the chicken enchiladas.

Oh, you got some polio polio?

What did you say?

Coyo polio.

That's racist. That's racist, Marquis. It's funny. I'm just saying it sounds

funny to you.

This Lifetime Musical Chairs winner?

I don't know.

We can all agree this place sucks.

I hope I get waiter.

Yeah, me too. Let's go.

Thanks,

Debbie. Yeah, buh -bye. Man.

You're strong, bro.

Igualmente.

Well, hello, ladies.

It's that time of year again when one of you zipper zippers is going to get up

to the big.

We only have one waiter job this year, and it's no surprise that none of you

really deserve it. Put the biscuit down.

Biscuits are for waiters.

But one of you is going to get it, and according to the new administration, it

can't be a naturally born citizen.

Are you a naturally born citizen?

You don't deserve it. It's a hard choice. There's so much talent here.

Romina. The way you handled that nine top of minds on Dios de los Muertos was

angelic. Knowing they wanted Chalupas Converte only by hand signals, it was

magnifique. Is it your time?

Steve, Marky, you guys have worked over 80 days in the past three months.

If that doesn't preserve a promotion, what does?

Make him silent!

Your ability to battle through your illness, which our attorneys assure us

clear up within a matter of days, while doing your job is truly remarkable.

Great fucking work.

Are we going to have our first waiter con wheel?

You don't say much, and you've been drawing what can only be described as

satanic shit all over the bathroom walls.

Quite frankly, we're afraid to let you go.

Feliz, Papa.

Rick, you have great skin, but you've been here under a week, and it's hard to

evaluate your commitment to our fine establishment.

This was a very difficult choice.

No, it wasn't. Rick, get up here. Come on.

You're kidding.

Get in here, Rick.

What? Rick sucks piss, dude.

Oh, man.

Anyone who didn't see this coming is a fucking imbecile.

Of course we're going to put him front and center. We're a business.

The next waiter tryouts for six months.

Get back to work, cockroaches.

Fucking prick.

Actually, I thought we had a chance this time.

This is

the alt,

Marky. And the doctor keeps calling me, man.

If one of us made it later, that's how I was going to pay for my mom's surgery.

Another one, let's go.

But the next call -up's only six months away.

It's not that far away. Yes, it is.

Dude, that's six more months I can't tell Pam I'll wait her.

Isn't she seeing that guy?

Yeah, I mean, if you go by Instagram.

It could be AI.

Thank you, Oscar. I thought she blocked you.

I got a burner.

Soft shells need to work out a little bit more and the women won't leave you.

Eat shit, murder ball.

I wasn't talking to you. We work seven days a week. When are we working out?

Give us a shit. Sounds like a personal problem, baby.

You brought it up.

Hey!

Sorry. Man, he's changed.

Wait. Does he live right there? Yeah.

What? Yeah. He just told me that inside.

He's a fucking pussy.

Yeah, after the lawsuit, they let him move in right there.

Holy shit, that lucky prick.

Yeah. Oh, my God. He won bad burrito. He gets a whole new pad.

Everyone's killing it but us, man. Fucking pollo polio. I want one.

Yeah.

Somebody arguing with their Uber driver. Oh, two stars.

Oh, maybe it's a TikTok.

It's an OnlyFans.

Let's give him some props.

Oh, we need dinner money.

Again? You like shooting some rope?

Hey, Jude.

Hi, Curie.

What can I do you for today?

Oh, I think old Tug McGraw here is going to go for the both fluids special. All

right. Yeah.

Oh, my God. Those juice prices are really skyrocketing. Yeah.

Anything to do with that truck spill?

Geek fleet. Yeah.

Damn icy roads.

Everything went up after that.

I'm surprised the highway didn't get pregnant.

for today then i gave you guys so much last week i could really blow my nose

i'm gonna go for the special yeah all right we got a special room for okay

a second i think you're gonna want this head on back there to get your lace up

bubba call me in spank i'll be in my attic yeah fill her up

When are you going to ask me out?

Hmm?

Oh. Uh, well, I mean, presently, I'm sort of kind of

in the middle of something.

Oh. I heard you're kind of not.

Well, I mean, if you go by Instagram, but I hear a lot of, like, AI.

A lot of guys like me.

It's true.

They drive past here, and they beep.

They don't stop, but they beep.

Maybe he's having a lull.

Try your other arm.

Sorry to yell.

Sorry, guys.

I'm probably going to sit down over here for a second.

Okay.

Look at that. Look at that. Dude, these guys went from working in the kitchen to

being millionaires. What?

Were they on a game show?

No, dude.

They're dealing drugs.

They took matters into their own hands, and that's what we gotta do.

We don't have enough money to last another six months.

I was counting on that waitership. We don't have any money, Marky.

How are we out of money?

We just drained every fluid in my body.

Well, have you noticed we use Funyuns every night for dinner?

Yeah, Marky, they're great.

Well, listen.

We gotta do that.

We don't have any drugs.

I think I got an idea.

Yep. Yep. Come here.

Come on. Check it out. See this caviar 147?

It's a simple workout.

Oh, yeah. Okay, so this dude... Left a dachshund on the table last time when I

was cleaning up. I walked by, no one was looking, I slurped that shit up.

What is that fentanyl in? Dude, I'm not allergic to fentanyl like a lot of these

pussies. I think we go by there and scope for dope.

Maybe we should think about this. Selling drugs is dangerous.

Yeah. But you know what else is dangerous?

Railroads are dangerous.

Time is extremely dangerous. How many people have died since the beginning of

time?

Wow. Yeah.

Listen, we don't have a choice.

We're never giving your mom that meat missile she wants at this rate.

Yeah. Don't we get that thing on her?

Yeah, I want her to have that thing on her.

Okay, listen. I don't want to sell drugs, but we need money.

Yeah. Waiters make money.

We make one big sale. We use the proceeds to buy a restaurant, and then

promote ourselves to waiters.

Is that a good idea or what?

That is unbelievable. It fixes everything.

I'm going to go say something.

Yeah, what are you going to say?

You go say something. Yeah, I'll go say something.

Yeah.

You sure you can handle this?

Oh, yeah.

I want to do it.

I'll give you the drugs to sell and it's a 90 -10 split.

But you get the 90.

You get the 10.

Right. And then you guys split the 10%.

Then I get five of that back just for fees and surcharges and all that stuff.

Oh, like Ticketmaster?

Exactly.

Sounds good.

Is that the shit?

No, it's the shit.

Go sell it.

Yeah.

Why are we doing this in the freezer?

I don't know. I thought that was your idea.

You know, sometimes they hide a popsicle in the tomatoes.

Okay.

We're not going to make the same mistakes they do in movies.

They buy stuff, they get all this money, they get flashy, and they get a big

puffer cup. We're not doing that.

We're going to do one big sale.

Goodbye. Ooh, let's try this crackhead.

Yo, yo, what's going on, boss?

What's good, twin?

What's happening?

Do you want to buy some dexedrum?

Dexedrum? Yeah. Would you like to buy some drugs?

DA! You're under arrest!

You're under arrest! Hands lock and seal! Put them up!

Marky? What?

sniffles here how many transportation all right these skips are coming with us

nobody called for a meter maid get on the ground we saw what you did the

just sickos get up get down on the ground on your knees do you hear me get

or down either way it's fine just say which one

been to the parties. DTF!

Yeah. Sorry, I think we're in the wrong place.

No, no, you can stay.

On your knees!

DTF, do you like black guys?

I'm a great

Dude, I'm glad you're up because we got a big day today.

We're going to sell some Dexy.

What about yesterday, Marky?

When we did ice cream?

No, when we escaped the drug bust. Wait, was that yesterday?

Oh my God, that felt like a week ago. How weird.

I don't know if you've been keeping up with the news, but we got away with it.

We're going to try again, right? But this time I got it all figured out.

So, we're going to repo it. I'm going to take all the drugs, put them in the

trunk of the car.

They just can't be on us because of Possession 710 to the law.

So we're golden.

All right, Marky. But I got to tell you something.

Do not.

Feed the lizard.

I didn't. Do not.

I barely talked to that lizard. I came in yesterday with eating something.

I gave one skittle.

Marky. Get the pipe cleaner.

Fuck. It's in the drawer.

town motherfucker you do yeah man we're gonna give my mom that cock yeah

wiener money what fun is that i think that's roman oh we got a customer man

right come on oh no what you bring those up to i'm brunette

oh a couple poppers huh you guys slinging those gay makers huh put that

hyena on your cock man

That shit will make your dick burp, won't it? This is fucking insane.

Oh, shit.

I heard that shit slaps.

My buddy was on it, and now he can't see his kid.

Lucky. His kid's fucking fucked.

Come on, dude.

You let her out.

How much? For how many?

Didn't you have a seven?

I can't do that many, I don't think. I have to work in one hour.

I'll give you 20 bucks. Are you a cop? You have to tell us if you are.

I'm a fucking boss.

You don't have to tell us that. Yeah, I do. I'm a boss.

Write that shit down.

Okay, we'll notate it.

It's real.

Yeah, man. Party time.

Oh, shit.

Oh, that's your wolf? Oh, God, man.

Oh, slurp God.

Hey, that's a lot. Oh, yeah. Whoa.

You're going to pop a gasket, dude.

I'm going to propose to my girlfriend.

Again, we will not be pressing charges, so I guess we're free to go. Pipe down,

you little figure skater.

Hello?

I'm Agent Boyd, Federal Bureau of Investigation. This is Agent Talley.

Oh, also, I'm a magician.

I will pull the living hell out of your asses.

Unless you do exactly what I ask.

That guy's jacked. Yeah, you just interrupted Agent Boyd.

You'd do it again.

I'll sew your fucking mouth shut with diarrhea.

Look at what we know.

And I'm scared.

And you know what I'm talking about. Me?

Was he looking at somebody else?

Ask another dumb question again. I'll zip you up in a body bag and beat you

a shovel for six years. I like the shorter guy.

You too? I'm going to tell me every fucking little thing you know.

My father was incarcerated when I was seven.

About the restaurant, idiot!

Hey, don't call him an idiot.

Okay, listen.

They don't base promotions on any code of ethics.

It's really... And the chips have salt on them, but sometimes we put more salt.

They add salt. Also, this is true. We have to take a break before our shift.

you understand?

It makes no sense. We get there, and they want us to take a shift.

Who in the restaurant are you selling drugs for?

We just got passed over for waiter, all right? We need money. And it's not even

a big deal. It's just Dexatrum.

Did you say Dexatrum?

Yes, you did.

Yeah. Yeah.

My wife was on Dexatrum.

She painted a house on it before, you know. These halfwits don't know shit. We

put extra salt.

Jesus. A couple of busboys trying to come up. I can relate.

Passed over for waiters so many times, I joined the force.

I mean, either they're dumb or really fucking dumb.

You'll want to see this.

Ha!

You know, the guy.

He's a drug kingpin.

Known as Padre Noche.

Me too.

Can't believe I'm saying it.

Can we send them in as CIs?

They're going to get killed.

Hopefully.

Shoot the strength of the boys.

Selling fake decks is illegal.

Fake? No, this is... Why'd that guy crash?

Could have been a Raiders fan.

We don't know. We don't care!

Listen, test it again. The guy who sold it, he said he mule -ed it across the

border. And the mule got a little bit of it and got so high he fucked the wheels

off a Ford Pestivo.

What we do know is that we're willing to drop the charges.

If you can help us out.

We've been scoping out Border Bistro. A lot of heavy drug activity passing

through there. But you want to speak to arms?

At our own restaurant? Either that or you've got a corp selling illegal drugs.

Or go to prison for life, but hang yourself after two weeks.

We will put you somewhere first undercover so that you can get a feel

What do you think, fellas?

Huh? Yes?

Is that a yes?

Yikes. And they're big.

Hey, guys, what kind of intel are we supposed to be grabbing here?

Just keep your ears open and your cock soft.

Got it?

Overall, this is just practice.

So, see you at 3 p .m.

Ah.

Okay, bye, Dad.

Yes, our dads are gay, people. Calm down.

Our dads are gay?

I think so.

Wow. They got the mustache for sure.

Oh, yeah. Those are prison curtains.

Science Fair's in three weeks.

What do you got?

Oh, you got fentanyl?

You're taking fentanyl? No, I'm taking fencing. What do you got? Oh, God.

I got Chorus and Remiato.

Remiato reading.

Yeah, no, that's it. Want to switch? No.

All right, so meet right here, right after school, okay?

You got this? Yeah. Soak it up. Get some info. You're wired.

Okay. Let's do it.

You're going this way? Ah, profit.

Ah, we're new.

Can anyone tell me what's going on here?

Uh, that's, um... Fuck.

Language. Sorry, sir. Um, it's, um... Shit, it's a fucking... Fuck,

what's it called? It's a pipe.

Language, please.

Wrong. That's a meth maker, huh?

What Victor was saying, sir, is that it's a sump pump.

Correct. What can you tell me about it?

A sump pump collects water underneath your house.

Until it fills enough it triggers a float switch, which activates the

pipe, which pushes the water away from your house. Exactly.

Damn. New kid to contractor.

Thanks, bro.

That's what I was trying to say.

Hey, Mr. Gotti tried to fart in my mom's butt.

Oh, God.

When a man and a woman get together in a certain way... Handjob?

No.

What is a handjob?

That is correct.

Yeah, I know, my friend.

Next one.

What a day, huh?

Oh, my stomach hurts. I had too many Twix's at lunch.

What did we learn, fellas?

Give us a drop.

Well, it was a pretty tough first day.

You got no Thomas Murphy from band class?

No, is it realism?

You'll want to hear this.

Listen to this shit.

What'd I do?

You didn't catch that?

No. He sucked.

Yeah, and he's first chair.

I'm better than him. This dude barely plays and he's better than him. I play

once a month.

Jesus.

What you got?

Some guy told me I look like low Iron Man, and another guy said I look like an

iPhone one inch.

That means you have a small dick and you're old.

Yeah, it's a combo burn.

Oh, I knew it was a negative.

Don't sweat this one, fellas. Look, we're going to send you in full steam

tomorrow at the restaurant.

You ready?

Fuck yeah.

We just kind of seem like we're not doing nothing.

Totally normal.

Yeah? Yeah.

What is that?

Sounds like a Rubik's Cube.

Yeah.

Wrapped in plastic.

With a backlash of butt muscle.

Vitamin D pit.

Maybe a Barbie doll.

Just the torso.

Yes.

Yeah, something is clogging its lines. Yeah, for sure.

Think we should tell Manager Tim?

I mean, I don't give a fuck.

It's their problem. They got insurance.

Oh, they do?

Yeah, we got work to do. Yeah, we're really busy.

Hey, do you want to play a game where we open up your locker and see what's

inside of it? Have you seen my collection plate?

I have not. What is it, a collection of criminal activity?

No, just money. I'm trying to raise money to buy my children back.

Oh, sounds like a healthy divorce.

Take care.

Noted.

Have you been selling drugs for a company outside of our company, but

company? That's also a cartel that works in Mexico or America.

Oh, no, I'm vegan.

Carry on.

Did you get that?

Now it's manager Tim.

Have you guys seen the new schedule?

Oh, yeah, we had a question about that. Also, we were just telling each other

our deepest, darkest secrets for no reason. What's yours?

I once lived with a guy for ten months.

He went around telling people I was gay.

So we broke up.

Get back to work.

What's up?

And we're out of chalupas.

We got him.

Who are those guys?

Are those the OnlyFans guys?

Just don't look at these guys. Keep watching.

What the fuck they doing?

What the fuck you doing there, bro? What's up?

Good afternoon. Hey.

Fucking know where you're at?

Know where you're at, motherfucker? What are you doing?

What are you guys doing? Bro, that's my aunt's car, bro. What the fuck you doing

over here? Hey, you know this ain't your fucking market, right? Get the fuck out

of here.

He's got to be upset about something, huh? Pulling up like that, motherfucker?

Bro, what's up? Fuck you, motherfuckers.

Get out of here. Get out of here, bitch. Fuck this car, bro. Fuck these fools.

What? God damn it. That's my aunt's car. Hey, no trouble, fellas. Just going to

get some pizza, medium pizza.

Hey, let's roll. Let's roll, bro. Fuck you.

Come around here, bitch.

Get in. Are we allowed to leave?

What? What? Fuck you.

Get your ass moving, motherfucker.

Fuck you.

Shit's not starting. I gotta get gas.

What the fuck?

Fuck. Let's beat these pussies out and fuck that shit.

Just... Fuck you, motherfucker. Let's roll.

You want us to get you something?

Fuck you. Fuck you pussies, bro.

Fuck you. Come on. Let's roll.

Shut up. We good.

Fuck these motherfuckers.

What, bitch?

What are you going to do about it? You got any little shit you're going to put

on there?

Fuck you, motherfuckers. Fuck you.

My ass is going to be fucking pissed.

Wait a minute, double.

Our favorite CD was in there?

Fuck. Bro, fuck your CD. I got you. Fuck these guys. Get you a new CD.

Fuck this.

Wow.

Where's Neighborhood Watch when you need them?

Look at this. Alert soup.

Should I have a cup or bowl, you think?

Can I get this baby bird burger?

Samuel! Hey!

You have a nice hat, man.

Is that traditional garb?

Garb, man? What are you talking about, man? It's a tourniquet.

I got jumped over at the hot seat on the grill, son.

Twelve versus one.

I tried to use some of my moves, but, man, they had pipes stuck, man. Lesson

learned. I'm still recovering.

Sorry to hear you. You look good.

You look good.

How do you look?

I look good.

Yeah. Yeah? I got my grip back.

Oh, yeah? I could tickle anybody.

Yeah, man.

I heard you hear about that. I thought that was just at our restaurant. Yeah.

Dude, I can't believe you'd have to get beat up to be a busboy.

You know what, uh, fresh fish means?

What are you doing?

What?

Nah, it's everywhere near the border.

Yeah.

Price we pay to work.

And it's worth it. Yeah. I still can't see past seven feet.

That's not that far, dude. Maybe take a shift off.

That's why I might need some outside help.

I heard you were the boy he talked to.

Hold up a second.

Do not move.

Don't. I need this.

Did he get it in a threesome?

No, dude.

He's drinking out. He needs that goddamn doctor's room.

Shit, we got to get out of here. I mean, the cops have all our stuff anyway.

Hey, can we get a check?

I got your tab.

Just remember me when the plug pulls up.

That's it. Damn, we're really Scarface and the other guy. Yeah, Rick Rawls.

Let's go.

Thank you, Gregor.

Amen. Let's put it away.

I have some bad news, guys and gals. I know, life is bad news. But this is the

formaldehyde cherry on top of the shit sundae.

You know Rick, the new waiter appointee?

Yeah. Um, someone said that he only got the job because his grandfather was a

model. And I just want to say that my four mothers weren't even allowed to be

models. No one knows what the hell you're talking about. The first model

woman and most models still are.

I get that.

Let's call it jealousy if you work harder. What I was going to say was that

has not shown up for three straight shifts.

So if anybody knows what the hell is going on, I'd appreciate you letting me

know. His family is concerned as well.

If you were mine, I wouldn't let him out of my sight.

But he's not mine.

I'm his employer.

And if he continues to not show up, God help us, we're going to have to promote

one of you piglets.

So everybody stay sharp out there.

Back to work.

So Rick, Rick is handsome and missing.

How much attention does one dude need? I mean, it's unreal.

I'm just saying, it's kind of wild how a waiter can not show up or he quits.

They put out a frickin' APB. You think it'll give us a fat fuck if we quit? No.

In fact, let's test that.

Oh. I wouldn't. I quit!

Fresh fish!

No. No, I was just... Get that kitty bit!

Burn that white boy.

Tickle that dirty baby. No, no, no, no, no!

Don't spill.

Yeah,

it's okay.

Crazy.

You're fine.

Let's see.

Oof. I don't think that qualifies for even half the combo.

Yeah. Well, I do appreciate you staying late for me.

Well, we like to make our customers happy.

Some of them, anyways.

Hey, where's your weird old son at, anyway?

It's a slow night tonight. We gotta cut somebody.

Oh, can it be a... No, we got a whole plumbing issue. We need Oscar's little

arms to kind of clear the pipe.

Steve, you're off the clock.

Yes, sir. I'm going to go check on Marky. My son?

Yeah. Oh, you mean Steve?

Oh, that's my best friend. Yeah, no, no.

No, I've known that guy for years.

How did you yell me?

Oh, actually,

I kind of rescued him when he got hit by a car.

So you're a hero then.

Not exactly.

Sounds to me like you are.

Whatever happened to the guy that hit him?

That's the part that's hard to explain because that guy was me.

Are you okay?

What happened?

Poison. I was poisoned?

No, poison. A t -shirt.

Those guys are great. I saw them three times.

Also, he got hit by a car.

Well,

think of it this way.

Somebody was gonna hit him.

He's lucky it was you.

my cock money so chrome equals

good evening whatever happened to the

guy that hit him that guy was somebody was gonna hit him

suck it faggot

you like me huh buddy

I was a busboy.

Still am, I guess.

Murder boy, he dropped your vase.

No way!

No!

Mr. Ball?

Mr. Murder?

It's a miracle.

And I witnessed it.

Murder fall!

This is biblical.

That was some good standing, brother.

Yeah, thanks, Roy.

It took so much out of me.

Could you help me up with the chair?

Sure.

You're a miracle, man.

Anything for you, man.

You're a miracle.

Nobody's going to believe this.

You're right.

They won't.

Oh, I'm tired, man. I need to rest.

Can I touch your legs?

I want to touch your magic leg. No, no, no.

I'll touch your legs up.

Oh, I like them. Look at them legs.

I like them, boy.

Like that.

Look at these little wizard stems, huh?

Oh, he's not home right now.

You want me to be your little white woman?

Oh, me.

Me.

Legs. Okay, okay, okay. That's enough.

Oh, my.

We might have a problem boys You're never gonna believe it You're a

Capricorn. No.

Murderball walked.

We got to jump that communist.

No. He didn't quit. He walked. He walked like on his legs. Like a homo sapien.

You're full of shit.

The doctor said he would never walk again. Yes, Oscar.

I've seen him walk.

I'll prove it. I'll get a selfie with him.

And another thing.

I found out who hit me with their car when I was just a kid.

My former best friend.

Mark.

Not surprising.

Hey, Murderball.

I just want to get a selfie with you, buddy.

Just prove to everybody that you're evolving.

I just want to get a selfie while your laser's still working.

Murder ball?

I don't want to see you while your legs are still magic, brother!

Murderball!

Rick!

Just here to get a selfie with Murderball.

You're not here to do shit.

Start walking.

Wow.

This is great.

Is this part of the trailer?

Reminds me of Pittsburgh.

A three -bedroom?

Hey, there's my friend.

Murder ball.

Great place you got here.

Yeah.

I'll fucking kill you. What? Me?

Things have changed.

Get him out of here!

Hey,

has anybody seen Steve?

I've been looking all over the restaurant for him.

I don't think he wants to see you since he found out you hit him with your car.

You guys.

Where's Steve?

I don't know. I'm looking for him, too.

We overheard him say something about Murderball on the radio.

Murderball?

Well, that guy lives right here.

Hey, guys.

Hey, we were supposed to be at work two minutes ago. What's going on?

What are you doing, a TikTok?

Hey, guys.

Hey, guys, come on.

Did Murderball fall down this hole?

Hello?

Hello?

I can't believe Marky's the one who hit me.

Now Murderball's acting weird.

lose two friends in one day shut the fuck up steve rick help me out of here

i'm losing my tan what are you doing here everybody thought you were on the

bachelor what no you don't fuck this is not buddy i haven't

eaten in half a week i need some protein get me out of here please no flirting

Oh, my God. There's a strip club down here.

Oh, shoot. I don't have any ones on me.

Hi. Chris.

Oh, God damn.

Steve, you're in this dungeon, too?

I was looking for you, man.

Glad you didn't drive here.

Buddy, let me explain what happened.

Get the fuck up.

You do. Get up.

Oh,

Rick, you're here, too?

Dude, I texted you on your birthday. You never text me back.

Well, I was here, you fucking loser.

Still rude.

Get out. Let's go, let's go.

Ow, I'm going.

Hey, Rick, plug in your phone.

Take it easy, Rick.

If it isn't creepy and sneaky.

Dude, you can stand up.

I was going to tell you. You know...

I liked your chicharrones until this one called me pollo pollo.

Are we still talking about this?

That's just a play on words.

And then this one tried to kiss me.

It's just a play on lips.

You know, I would like to let you guys go. We accept.

But I can't.

You can't unsee what you've already seen. The eyes have good memories.

They're like the brain.

Of the faith.

Ultimas palabras, putos.

What is that?

Bitches. Not the first part.

Last words.

Actually, yeah.

I knew if this time ever came, I wanted to put on this bandana that my dad

gave me when I was just a kid.

Before you went away to prison.

He used to take me to this vape shop.

It was really cool.

Carcinogens it was called. And it was two stories.

And he let me smoke all the youth vape.

And I was even part of the carcinogens kid club for a bit.

And he gave me this bandana before he left.

So I'm going to wear it.

So when I go to heaven.

He'll be able to find me.

Mine's for Steve.

I just want to tell you, when I took that dog out that day,

it was his last lap, and I was supposed to do whatever he wanted, and he wanted

to try to drive the car.

I knew it was stupid. I knew he was going to be bad at it. He was so bad.

couldn't drive at all. And he hit you.

I didn't know what to do. I got scared.

I'm so sorry that happened.

But you're my best friend in the world.

And I can't die knowing that you're mad at me.

I forgive you, man.

Bro, don't make this shit so gay, fella.

Shut up.

Time to die boy. Oh polio

Oh

My

god,

it's pottery no change

to that store.

And you tried all the new flavors.

And then you vomited all the way home.

I didn't care.

And you didn't care either.

I gave you that on your fifth birthday.

Holy shit!

Dad?

Steve!

Dad!

Oh!

I thought you were in jail.

No, I escaped. Within a month, I was out.

I wanted to see you. I wanted to look you up. I wanted to know you.

But I thought that I'd be a bad influence on you. I went and visited you

week for nine years.

They said you were busy.

And you escaped after one month?

Embarrassing. I always thought I could get out of this life and get into yours.

I can't believe it's you.

Dad.

I was talking about you every day.

What happened, Dad?

Did I get shot at? Yeah, on the foot.

Who the fuck shot me?

It's going to be okay now.

You know what I wish?

What, Dad?

I wish I could have been there for you.

You're here for me now, Dad.

It's okay.

Quit quiet, pussies. Get the fuck up.

He's right.

Freeze, you bitch!

Hands up! Get out of the fucking room! Get out of the rest!

Oh, my God.

So, what, he's been in there the whole time?

We didn't know a thing. Oh.

Hey,

you guys are here too?

We're in a group chat.

Is there an after?

You know, I don't know.

There's something.

There's something?

That's so cool. I'm happy for you, man. Thanks, man. I'm happy for me, too. He

remembered your thing and everything. Yeah, he gave it to me.

Oh, check out Murdoch. Can you believe the dude can walk?

Yeah, he can walk. He's like a baby.

I couldn't believe it. Then they shot him. Walk for a little bit. Dangerous

for me.

Silence!

Anyone have eyes on Petra now?

He got away from me.

Well, that's what happened.

It's 105 degrees outside.

Boys and girls, today is a unique day in the history of our establishment.

The heroic efforts of some members of our staff to keep drug trafficking out

our restaurant, which will no doubt impact some of our performance, have

monumental. And as a thank you, I would like to present two pure pewter

bus tubs to Steve Farn and Marky Montgomery.

What? Look at this.

Whoa, are these real pewter? And, due to Rick's absence, and to take advantage

of some of the media buzz surrounding the drug boss, I would like to announce

are going to bring one of you leperous scuzz wranglers up to the rank of

Against my better judgment, I would like to announce the newest waiter at the

Border Bistro.

Marky, come up and get this cat.

Bee? Bee?

Oh, my goodness.

Bee. What?

Bee.

Bee.

Thank you, Manager Tim.

Thank you, America.

Well, seven months ago, I knew that if I became a waiter, I would get

everything I wanted in life.

The image, the girl, the money, the future.

But I was actually wrong.

I already have all that stuff.

I got everything I always wanted.

I got a friend.

So thank you, but I'm going to pass.

I'm going to stay right here.

Next to my buddy.

Busboys for life.

Boss Boys for life.

But I have a question, Manager Tim.

Are these waiter promotions at all transferable?

Depends on who you give it to.

I was thinking of giving it to the hardest working person in the building.

Day in, day out, they break their back to provide a really nice life for their

family.

Ginger would be a great waitress.

Yes, she would. Approved.

Ginger. Thank you. Yes, Ginger.

Thank you.

Ginger. Now that she's a waitress, I have to go back to school, you piece of

shit.

Marky. Oh, you're welcome.

So, wait, you're a bath boy again?

You're damn right I am.

Um, perhaps.

Well, I guess this is it.

Wait, you're going this way?

Are you going this way, too?

Yeah. Why'd you say this is it? I don't know. I just thought we might be

walking. Yeah, that's fine.

Oh, I was going to tell you. Your dad is young, dude. Yeah.

Means I'm going to be jacked as well when I grow up. Oh, yeah, for sure. It's

the bloodstream. I know, man. Pump, pump.

Yeah, I'm excited about that.

And now that I got my dad back, I think I'm going to back off that surgery for

my mom.

Oh.

I think that's good.

You should do something for you.

I think I'm going to go back to high school.

Really? Yeah. I used to hate it, but once we did it undercover, I kind of dug

it. It gets easier.

Plus, I never finished, so I only have about 38 hours left.

Well, I think that's cool.

And if you ever need a tutor, I'd want to help.

Let's go in.

Let's make some toast.

You've been in there for like two hours.

Yeah, I can't do this.

I don't even know what I'm looking for down here.

Jesus.

Look, I'm just a waiter, okay?

I don't even know how to really do anything else.

Fucking hot place.