Original subtitles

LAST ONE

LAUGHING

LAST ONE LAUGHING

A hell toupée!

A hell toupée! Yes, a hell toupée.

-Hey! -Who?

Damn it.

What's going on, Per?

-What's happening? -I was to do a Gothenburg musical.

The two most common sentences in entertainment in Sweden must be,

"Should we invite Per Andersson?" "No."

You probably broke your bed at the maternity ward...

-Incubator. -Incubator.

-I broke out of the incubator. -You kicked the hatch open.

Kicked the hatch open.

How are you doing, dear friends?

Good!

How's the cooking, Sussie?

-Great, thanks. -It looks like it!

I also have to say thanks for the show.

The level is through the roof...

"Through the roof."

I'll say it like this, Sussie...

-Your strategy... -Yes.

It paid off.

Let's see how our friends are doing.

-Damn... -What does she mean now?

It was terrible.

My friend put a spirit in someone's body Without a proper form

Then he might get arrested For illegal possession

Yellow card, Özz.

With that shirt on when you get it.

YOU THINK YOU'RE SO FUNNY?

-Perfect! -Well fought.

-Good try! -Thanks.

Bye. Go for it.

Bye! Give the people out there our regards.

Four with a yellow card, four without.

It's a shame to get a yellow card in that way.

I didn't get busted by anything I find funny.

That's a shame.

How are you doing, dear people?

-How's it going? -Good.

-Grilled cheese! -Oh, baby!

-Grilled cheese... -Per, get us a new table.

Yes.

And a new tambourine. It was my best one.

-You keep hiding behind the blower. -Yeah, no...

-I can't stay here. -No.

-I can't stay here. -Then you get in trouble.

That was a close one. Damn Ankan...

With the leaf blower...

That was...

-Didn't that look a bit funny? -No, I...

I have to keep away from Ankan,

steer clear from Anders Jansson,

and avoid Per.

That's my strategy.

White card!

-Nice, Louise! That's brave. -Oh, wow.

-Go, Louise! -Things are speeding up.

Back-to-back shows. Wonderful!

Per, you'll be getting a task.

-Yep. -You get a script.

Once the curtain rises, you read this.

-I'll read it. -Yes. Stand here while I get ready.

Let's see here.

-What's she doing? -Nice one, Louise!

Now it's on!

-Woah! -Woah, woah!

You are all welcome to the annual fashion show in Bjuv!

The theme of the day is recycling...

reusing and relapsing.

Therefore we have only one model, Louise Nordahl!

The blemish from Ängelholm.

-Was that in the script? -Yes.

First...

We have a wonderful creation made out of residual skin

from Biggest Loser VIP.

Containing elements from Anna Book's torso and the foreskin of Kalle Moraeus.

No...

I'm laughing on the inside, but not showing a thing on my face.

More recycling.

Leftovers from Edward's mid-morning to midday snack.

A walking doggy bag. That's right.

Cheese, sausage, and on her back, a yummy chicken.

Yeah!

What can be more lovely...

Other than ending with another fur bikini as the finale.

From the family Wahlgren-Ingrosso.

The top part is made out of Benjamin's arm hairs.

The nifty bottom part is an anonymous donation from Pernilla.

The white parts come from Christina Schollin.

-Wow, wow, wow. -Of course, you can see that.

I really had to keep from laughing when Louise put her leg at Anders's chest.

I was so close.

Do Robert! So he cracks up out of joy.

-He brightened up. -Yes.

-First time in four hours. -In four decades.

With these final poses...

we end the fashion week in Bjuv,

which is presented in collaboration with Handicraft Teachers Without Borders.

-Thanks. -Bravo!

-Bravo! -That was great!

Louise's show had a well written script

and high ambitions. It could've been really funny.

But it didn't work for me. At that time.

Is that... Ola-Conny and...

-Yes, it is Morgan and Ola-Conny! -Oh my God!

What?

-Stop it! -He had a haircut!

-Hey guys! -Hey.

-Hello? -What the...

-This is amazing. -You are hungry, aren't you?

-That's correct. Welcome! -Time for food.

-They're from Ullared. -What an honor.

-Put them here. -So nice to meet you.

-You've spread so much joy in my life. -Yes.

-I really mean it. -That's good.

I love Morgan and Ola-Conny.

I really do. From the bottom of my heart.

They have situations in their program that no comedian in the world can reach.

-There's been a party here. -What a nice surprise.

We have a lot of dishes. What are you in the mood for?

-You are so tall! -Tell me what you've got.

If only the others could write it in Swedish. "Jalfrezi lamb."

-Pardon? -Lamb meat.

Then we have "Tikka chaat".

And "Saag Aloo".

No.

These wonderful people, so friendly, funny and happy.

You want to give them something in return.

But then you're eliminated.

Why do you look so shocked?

They are so awesome.

So damn awesome.

"Saag bhaji" with "Bhaji samosa".

-"Aloo matar paneer." -Thanks, guys.

-You're welcome. -You're so kind.

-We made it ourselves. -Bravo.

-Did you? -No, we haven't.

May I take a selfie with all of you as a memory?

-Yes! -Wait. We may not smile!

-Are you ready? -Yes.

-Nice. -Thanks. Take care of each other.

-Nice to see you! Take care! -Bye!

Have a good one! See you!

Bye!

I love Morgan and Ola-Conny.

Thank God I'm hungry and tired, otherwise I would've been screwed.

-Huh? -Grab something and eat!

What is she doing?

Hello! Clara Henry here!

Is that you? Or is that me, I mean.

-Can't you see that? -Where did you find my pubes?

Well, I... cut some of it off.

You don't look like me just because you have red pubes, Louise.

Not good enough.

Did you use the bathroom?

You can find that kind of pubes everywhere in Skåne.

This feels like a failed bachelorette party.

My strategy was to try being active.

"Uproarious" hasn't been on posters in a while.

If you're active it feels like you're pushing the agenda.

"A real rollercoaster ride

"with Robert Gustafsson at Rondo."

-"Uproarious". -It's on a straight line.

We can't afford roller nor coaster.

Sven-Åke from Gothenburg City Theater told me about an opera they were doing.

They were going to do something fun,

so they went to Liseberg.

In the rollercoaster they were screaming in harmony.

Sorry!

How the... How did that happen?

What happened in my head? I don't get it.

Anders has been really funny all day, and then he laughs at his own bad joke!

-Totally unique. -So funny that it was so bad.

-It was the worst thing I've heard. -It's funny!

I'm so happy he told us that story.

It wasn't even good!

A choir in a rollercoaster that scream in harmony.

Now I get why he lost.

Oh my God, this sucked.

But there's a microscopical chance...

-Oh, oh, oh! -Hi!

Well...

I'm sorry, Anders. That was...

You struggled with a hat in front of your face,

but there's no use pretending like we didn't know who it was.

Anders has a red card, let's see how this magic unfolded.

Don't miss it.

I'd happily miss it. I can miss it.

In a rollercoaster.

When they screamed, they screamed in harmony.

-By your own hand. -God fucking shit damn it.

It was your own story, Anders.

It was just an anecdote of my own.

Which is the most stupid thing you can do at that point.

Why would I do that?

Now I'll take my almond cookies and soda pop with me.

Then I laugh at my own story.

Say bye to your friends. Well fought, hang in there!

See you in there, Anders! Welcome to my place.

-Brave people, good luck! -Bye.

Bye, Eva!

Oh, Anders...

Anders Jansson. Bye, bye, bitch!

Leave, Robert, damn it.

I'm glad Anders Jansson left. He takes up a lot of room, so there's more space now.

Good bye, mr Bond!

More importantly, the threat is gone.

Nice. Per is still here.

It's completely insane.

If you stand here...

The view is incredible.

-It looks godawful. -And eighty percent of it is your doing.

-Eighty percent is your doing. -No!

-I didn't spray anything. -You did 80 percent.

What's with Per?

What's going on?

He can't be in a furnished room.

65 percent is you.

I noticed after half the game that Per is going to be difficult.

I haven't even touched one of those...

-Me neither. -spray tan string...

The food was hot!

Per is Per. He's mad.

God!

You can't get to him.

He's like...

He needs treatment.

-Now it's nice. Has it begun? -What?

It hasn't begun yet?

The program has been going on for 2.5 hours.

-Anders! -Anders!

-Welcome. -Oh my God...

I tried to...

Nice to be free from the humorless bastards who are left.

-Like a Bond movie. -What would you like?

-Take a seat. Are you ready? -Yes.

Let's go, then. One, two, three.

-Oh, right! -Okay.

-How many are there left? -Yes, how many?

Four... Seven, right?

-Seven left. -Seven people left.

I am thinking didactically.

I'll shock them by being didactic.

I'll grind down my opponents by being didactic.

I'm hearing how bad it sounds when I'm saying it.

I have no strategy.

Can anyone tell us another funny anecdote?

-And make themselves lose? -Yes.

Doing a Jansson.

He's probably pissed right now that no one got it.

Was there anyone you couldn't stay close to?

-Robert. It's not possible. -Robert?

I'll laugh at anything he does.

Did Clara leave now?

She is changing clothes.

She was going to pee.

She's back.

Now Ankan is peeing.

-Ankan is peeing. -I want to know.

-Okay. -It's important to me.

Is it because you gotta go,

-or do you want to know where he is? -I've calculated when people are peeing.

-How did you do that? -I don't get it. Explain.

You should be peeing soon.

-Okay. Yes... -Yes.

Who keeps track of stuff like that?

When everybody is peeing? That has to be a new level for Robert.

A disturbing one.

Funny, but disturbing.

Or simply disturbing.

Did you figure that out?

Yes.

-When people need to pee... -When you need to pee, you are...

a bit more sensitive.

The classic, "I'm gonna pee my pants!"

There's something to it. If you need to pee, laughter comes easier.

My gosh. You're good.

Oh my God. Robert has a strategy.

He sees when people are peeing, how much they're drinking, when they need to go.

And he knows that you are vulnerable for laughter when you need to pee.

Then he uses the heavy artillery.

That's so clever.

But also completely insane.

You haven't peed.

Tits! Madonna tits.

Yes.

-No... -Good.

-Did you get it? -Yes.

-Time for a beer now. -Yes.

-I'll get one for you. -Thanks.

Don't you have your own spring water?

What kind of spring water?

-Is it from a certain spring? -You've been there.

-Really? -South of Motala.

-Medevi, you mean? -Medevi spring.

Is that one special?

It cleanses the body, Anders.

-I'm not so sure. -Lots of östgöta dialect.

-Don't you know it? -No...

"Roight..."

Dialects can help, partly to play a character, but also...

showing your victim...

that I'm doing something they can't beat me at.

I'll be staying here until I get a reaction.

Sometimes I talk like Jonna Lundell.

Jocke's Jonna Lundell.

-Who the hell is that? -Jockeboi.

Robert doesn't know who Jonna Lundell is.

They work with YouTube and chase ghosts.

In different houses and such.

The thing is that when I start imitating her, I'm almost laughing myself.

-Talk like her again. -Jonna Lundell...

I'm almost doing an Anders Jansson.

Now she's gaping again!

Why are you doing that to yourself?

-Do you know Jockeboi? -No.

We aren't exactly close.

-You want tassles? -Here's one.

Did you get them from Maria Montazami? She made them famous.

This is a replica of her tits, actually.

-I want to build something. -You wanna build?

I never thought of how to make others laugh.

-I like it. -That should cheer us up.

For real.

I don't know how to do it, but at the same time I do it.

My style of comedy is all over the place.

It's all about going for it.

And not feeling shame.

-Should I make it disappear? -Yes.

It goes into my hand

and out on the other side.

It's true. He's great at this.

He's unbelievable.

One, two...

Wait.

-That was really... -Hey!

-Did I smile? Did I smile? -I don't know.

-Who was it? -Who laughed?

-I think it was us. -Just sit down by the TV.

Ladies and gentlemen.

It's like coming to a kindergarten

-with drunk kids. -Yes.

Guys.

We have a yellow card.

Let's take a look.

They've been toeing the line.

And here's the expected yellow card.

-He's great at this. -...the other side.

He's powerful.

REPLAY

Damn, I blew it.

Pretty clear.

Oh, oh, oh.

-Louise! -Louise.

Get it together. It was clear.

We also have a warning, without a card.

Per Andersson has been too passive lately.

It can lead to a warning.

Okay.

I think Eva is a bit harsh.

I thought she was going to be nicer.

I've ruined 90 percent of everything in here, but I'm too passive.

Alright. Okay, great.

Eva says I'm too passive.

Yes, no. What?

Wait, what is this?

-We also have a red card. -No...

Let's take a humiliating look at how that happened.

Pretty hard...

One... No, wait. Now?

Two.

-Wait. -Wait.

Damn, I screwed up.

I'm dying. Oh my God.

-Ankan. A red card. Well fought. -I'm sorry. Damn.

-Let's hear it for Ankan. -I just want to leave!

-I want to! -Damn, Ankan!

Damn!

Really disappointed in myself. Out.

To my chagrin.

Good luck. You're wonderful. See you soon.

Bye, Ankan! Love you!

It was nice that he lost.

That's what I think. I don't like him.

Just between us. I'm tired of him.

Just between us. It's so nice to get rid of him.

-Yeah. -That's what I think.

God.

Nice to be able to avoid him.

Fantastic that Ankan lost.

My kryptonite is gone.

Sad but nice.

I'm really impressed with Özz.

With each break, he's been laughing non-stop.

I don't get how he keeps it together.

If you hadn't been allowed to laugh during breaks...

That wouldn't have worked out.

That feeling can't be described for the people watching this.

We all felt the same

each time there was a break.

Letting it all out.

Sometimes you didn't have to, but...

-Red wine. -It's time.

After 2.5 hours.

Go for it.

-That's really sticky. -Can I get a large glass?

-Cheers! -Cheers to the survivors so far!

-Cheers! -Cheers!

May the best homo sapiens...

-Burn. -burn in hell.

Good to get rid of Ankan.

-Really good. -Ankan!

Full of flour and hope.

Wonderful Ankan! Well fought.

At first, it was nice to go to Eva.

And then I felt...

It didn't take long until I felt jealous.

I really felt like using my card.

I want to join in again.

Whatever the heart desires

Time now to choose

From these bottles

The liquor of your stomach

It's such a mess in here right now.

Nobody knows where to go or what to do.

How nice it was...

I just try not to listen.

I try to think about other things.

Gives a mood

It was so scary

What was that? So scary

Malaga

All worry, vanish

No!

-Damn. -No!

-Guys... -Yes.

You're singing, and...

-So nice. -Tell Anders that we like him.

-Ankan. -We heard you.

-It's being recorded. -Right.

We have a...

A red card.

Should we take a look?

Oui, Monseigneur

Neighbor! Do as you do

I know that you know

Sussie, dear. Well fought. You get a red card.

-See you at my place. -Yes.

-So long! -Bye, Sussie.

Bye, my darlings.

I wonder if It was Louise who started...

No, it was probably me who wanted to sing.

I thought it would be nice.

And then I see Per...

When he's doing that voice.

He's starting to sing so powerfully...

And his... No, I can't do it.

Who's going to clean up now?

As soon as I look at him, I'm laughing.

It has to do with his extreme insanity.

That was what made me fall.

That's the way it is.

-Bye! -Thanks for everything!

-Oh, oh. -Oh...

That was sad...

-Let's take a bit of rest. -Yes.

I've never worn a strap on.

It feels a little...

-dirty! -I'm Eva Ros.

-Can't you sing a duet? -Yeah, do that.

-Are you allowed to sing it? -No.

She's back. Grandma's back.

-Look at that! -Yeah, look at the tongue.

-No, no, no! -No.

-Well, there you go. -There you go. Great tongue.

Grandma has it going on

Grandma has it going on

Here little grandma is coming

With her tongue hanging out

Grandma has it going on

This is the grandma song

Grandma has it going on

No one can do it like grandma when she has it going on

Have you seen my grandma

With her tongue hanging out

Have you seen my grandma She'll lick until she dies

An old lady, with a strap-on penis peeking out.

That's funny!

-Özz? -Yeah?

-What is this? -Singing hallelujah...

Or do you want it?

-No... -You can have it. I like you.

You're a friend of animals.

Oh my God...

"Imitate and act like Tony Irving."

Good luck.

I wouldn't miss this for all the tea in China.

I mean...

Good lord.

You have to move your hips.

A bit more.

If I am to accept your movement,

you have to move your hips.

Özz as Tony Irving...

On a scale between hilarious and a cyanide capsule...

we're dangerous close to the capsule.

You have to move your hips...

Don't quit your day job.

You have to move your hips. You have to be more...

I realized that Özz couldn't impersonate Tony, so I was pleased.

Lady-shaped asses.

Talk as if you're out of air.

I'm not getting any air.

-Fill half your lung. -Half the air.

Narrow your mouth.

-Narrow your mouth here. -Great.

-Great. -Great. And then breathe out...

Robert is a perfectionist. Everything he said

improved Özz's imitation by 200 percent.

-I'm doing it right. -Do it.

-Do this. -Do this right.

It was like watching My Fair Lady's quick version, with Tony Irving.

Breathe out as you're speaking.

Then Özz nails it.

-Yeah! Wanna dance? -Think about your behind.

Tuck the buttocks in.

Nice, Özz! Watch out for grandma's tongue.

-Watch out for grandma's tongue. -Damn. It's moving.

Özz seems to like when you're vibrating against his leg.

I didn't think we were to dance for that long...

Grandma's tongue.

Watch out for grandma's tongue.

Tony Irving's, "You have to move your hips."

That's a reason to why I declined Let's Dance.

Applause!

-Thanks a lot! -Thanks, Özz. That was great.

Here's Sussie!

Hurry, Sussie! Come!

-Hi, sugar! -Sussie!

-How is it to sit here? -Fantastic.

I was so tired that I was seeing double.

Here's a machine that can do the job for me, a recorder.

It's like a study.

Now.

Now I'm so tired that I want a stroke in my face.

I want a stroke in my face, so that I'm not laughing.

I can't avoid it anymore. I don't have any muscles.

-Shit downstairs if you can't make it up. -Right.

An important Spanish saying.

They have apartments with stairs, after all.

Come with me to Spain. They have other cake there.

-And better porn. -Yes.

Licorice in the sauna.

There's bread and licorice.

Who was that?

Was it you or me?

-Damn... -Isn't this the worst?

When waiting.

Everyone's like... Was that?

-Well, well, well... -Damn.

LAST ONE LAUGHING

Out with it, Özz!

IN THE UPCOMING EPISODE

I'm back!

No can do.

I'm from Bruges in Belgium.

Woah, woah, woah!

-I'm back! -Disco draining!

Look!

-Here it comes. -Damn.

Something is happening.

Are you naked?

Subtitle translation by Jonathan Zylberstein