All language subtitles for Alice.and.Jack.2023.S01E02.WEB-DL.CATCHPLAY_HI.en

-(Jack) Alice.
-(indistinct chatter)

-Jack. (chuckles)
-(gentle music playing)

-Hi.
-Hmm.

-Well, your picture didn't lie.
-Yours is an understatement.

-(Alice) Do you live near here?
-(Jack) I work around the corner.

Are you suggesting we go
to your office?

Oh, no. No, sorry. I wasn't... No.

(Alice) We'll go to my apartment.

I wanna say this in a way
that's clear but not rude.

"Get the fuck outta here"?

-(Paul) Don't do it.
-Why not?

Because she told you not to
and she threw you out of her flat.

As far as signals go,
those are pretty clear.

You ever been
with the same person twice?

Tonight'll be the first time.

-(moans)
-(thuds)

This was a mistake.
This is my mistake.

(Paul)
People will usually disappoint you.

I mean, look, there's seven

and a half million people
in this city.

There's gotta be at least a couple
of hundred thousand

of them that are lovely.

-We just have to find a great one.
-(indistinct chatter)

(Jack) I don't think
I could function knowing

I had a child out in the world
that I wasn't taking care of.

(Lynn) Lovey, who's Alice?

(Jack) She's an ex.

(Paul) She's here.

Crystal's bringing her through.

Oh shit.

-Oh shit.
-(music concludes)

(train whirring)

(Paul) You have three options.

Option one, do not even think
about accompanying Alice

to her mother's funeral.

It's my personal favourite

in so much as it preserves
the happy status quo

and leaves Alice
to the pages of history,

where, in my opinion, she belongs.

Option two, lie. Lie like a rug.

Just say it's work
or something and go.

Not very Jack-like, but it's not
as though you'll get caught.

Option three, ask Lynn
if it would bother her if you went.

Ostensibly, this is respectful,

but it's actually manipulative
'cause it puts Lynn

in a terrible position.
Either she says it would bother her

and risks appearing insecure.

Or she says it wouldn't bother her,
avoids appearing insecure,

but it plants a small
emotionally cancerous nugget

and your marriage
may never recover.

I wouldn't advise option three,
but if you choose it,

you must then choose
between sub tactic A,

which is lie about Alice's status
in the rabbit warren

that is your psyche.

Cast the whole funeral as a sort
of mission of mercy

undertaken for old time's sake,
which you might think is the truth,

but which I think is actually
as big a lie as the other one.

And which is not, by the way,

guaranteed to prevent
the cancerous nugget.

Or sub tactic B.

Tell Lynn the whole
unvarnished truth about Alice,

which is every bit as bad an idea
as it was this morning.

That's my analysis.

(sighs)

-(chuckles)
-(sighs)

Sorry, love. I think some people
just aren't supposed

-to wear ties.
-I know.

It's a show of respect
to make her feel better

about her situation.

She's a pregnant woman
with syphilis.

And she lives in Kent.
(chuckles, kisses)

(chuckles)

(exhales)

-(footsteps approaching)
-(car door opens)

Thank you for doing this.

(smacks lips) Do you wanna tell me
why you dread

seeing your dad so much?

Is that the fare?

-Nope.
-Thank you.

You look brilliant in your tie.

(gentle music playing)

(car door shuts)

(gentle music continues)

You know when I go,
will you try and find me a cemetery

that's really beautiful
with a little plot next

to people who look like
they could have been interesting?

-(music concludes)
-So, it'll be up to me?

Of course it will.

Here we go. Here we go.

-(sombre music playing)
-That's my dad.

(clears throat)

(Randall) Hello, Alice.

Hi, well, erm, (smacks lips)...

-Jack, this is Randall.
-(Randall) Pleased to meet you.

Pleased to meet you.
I'm sorry for your loss.

(Randall) Yeah, I...
she was one of the greats.

I'm sure she was.

(Randall smacks lips) Er...
have you still got your parents?

Neither, I'm afraid.

Oh, no...
They must've been so young.

Big hearts, but not strong ones,

-unfortunately.
-(Randall) Ah.

Well, erm, I thank you for coming

and... and being there
for my Alice.

Of course.

God will show us the path of life.

In His presence,
there is the fullness of joy.

And in His right hand,
there is pleasure forevermore.

Oh, so much
as it have pleased Almighty God

of His great mercy...

to take unto Himself the soul...

(breathes heavily)

(pastor)
...of our dear sister, Agnes.

(door squeaks)

(pastor) Here departed.

(breathes heavily)
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

-(grunts, groans)
-Randall?

-(all gasp)
-(indistinct chatter)

(Jack) Excuse me.
Randall. Randall. Hey, Randall.

Somebody call an ambulance, please.
Randall, Randall, Randall.

(man) Hi.
Yeah, we need an ambulance.

(Jack) Randall. Can you hear me?

Randall?

Randall.

The deceased Randall H. Long,
was the widower of Agnes Long,

who herself passed away
just days ago

and whose funeral he was attending

along with family
and longtime friends.

(Celia cooing)

(reporter on TV) Mr. Long
apparently became distressed

and then collapsed
from what appears to have been

a cerebral haemorrhage

as the vicar
and mourners looked on.

Mr. Long was pronounced dead
at the scene.

-Alice.
-(door opens)

-(Celia cooing)
-(door shuts)

-Hey.
-(Celia cooing)

Hey now, bubba.
Shh, shh, shh.

(Jack) Er... That's not...

We should probably talk.

Yeah.

-(music concludes)
-(baby cooing)

(Lynn) What percentage of the days

since I've known you
have you thought about her?

-One hundred percent.
-(scoffs)

One hundred percent of the days?

Yeah.

And what percentage of those days...

-Lynn, please.
-What percentage

of those days we were dating,

including the day
that you asked me... "Asked me."

Conned me,
defrauded me into marrying you.

-What percent...
-She was in the past.

What percentage of those days
did you think about her?

A hundred percent.

(smacks lips) I should have,

(smacks lips) I should have spat
on you in the park.

(inhales sharply) I should've
thrown you out of the taxi.

I didn't know it was still alive.
It was a scar. It had faded.

I... I thought
it was gonna disappear completely.

I didn't know.

We... We are all entitled
to a history, Jack.

Even if it does include
some endless heartbreak,

some boundless love, I wouldn't
have held it against you.

You would've gone into that clinic.

Oh my God.
I gave you a chance to tell me,

and you didn't take it.

And we passed that way but once...

-It would've been awful.
-Yes.

Yeah, it would've been awful.

And it would've been shitty

and you would've come across
as selfish and cruel,

-but it would've been right.
-Do you really wish

that I had told you?
Would you rather that our daughter

wasn't lying awake
in her cot up there right now?

We give fair warning, Jack.
That's what decent people do.

This doesn't have
to be a catastrophe.

Oh, my God... (exhales)

Do you really think
that I could wake up

tomorrow morning or any morning

and feel happy
or safe or fully loved

or anything other than angry?

(clicks tongue, exhales)

(Jack) Don't, don't...

(Lynn sniffles)

So, I think what happens now
is, erm...

you contact one firm

-and I contact another firm.
-Please.

(Lynn) You could ask
around your office.

See if anyone knows everyone
and I'll do the same.

Jesus Ch... Lynn.

You can sleep here tonight,
on the couch, obviously.

But, erm,
just do me a favour tomorrow,

just pack a bag and go.

You can stay at... (sniffles)
...you can stay at Paul's.

He's more of a soulmate
to you than I ever was anyways.

We'll be fine.

We'll... we'll ... we'll function
as divorced parents.

You know, because...

we actually entered
into this with good intentions.

We were good people.

We just got... (sniffles)

I dunno, what...

Unlucky.

I don't... We shouldn't be rushing
into any decisions.

-(Lynn) Oh, my friend.
-This is...

(Lynn) Hear me. (sobs)
I may be less experienced

than you in the wonders of love,
but I do know one thing...

(sniffles) ...and that is

that I am
nobody's consolation prize.

-(inhales deeply)
-(cell phone ringing)

Are you gonna start up
with her again after this?

No.

-We... we can't...
-(Lynn whimpers)

And...
and yet you did all this anyways.

Yeah.

(Lynn) Well then,
you really are stupid.

-(Lynn chuckling) Oh, my God.
-(phone continues ringing)

Fuck.

(sniffs)

(sniffles)

-(gentle humming)
-(waves crashing)

(seagulls squawking)

(gentle humming continues)

(gentle music playing)

(Alice chuckling)
Hi. It's me again.

Just calling
to see if you're all right.

I'm a bit worried about you,
but I'm...

(exhales heavily)
Fucking wonderful.

Call me back.

(music concludes)

We'll agree to the higher payment
if you agree to shared custody.

My client's daughter
is not for sale.

-What does that mean?
-(clicks tongue)

Shared custody
is not in Celia's best interest.

Her father has a history
of adulterous behaviour.

Once again, there was no adultery.

I didn't say adultery.
I said adulterous.

That's tricky,
even for you, Yvonne.

(Yvonne) It speaks to character,
as you know.

But we're happy
to let the court decide.

Of course you are. All the better
to soak these people.

-Whereas you are Robin Hood.
-Just stop it.

(Yvonne) Sole custody,
the higher payment,

two visits per week,
two hours maximum.

My client will not
let his daughter down in that way.

He should've thought of that
before he went

to his ex-girlfriend's
mother's funeral.

A minor offense
in the scheme of things.

And in the eyes
of any competent judge.

He lied to his wife's face.

Yes, he's the first spouse
ever to do that.

The higher payment plus 30 percent,
shared custody,

two third to one third
in my client's favour,

-schedule TBD.
-That's outrageous.

-We refuse...
-Don.

-You're wildly overpaying.
-Shh, Don.

(Yvonne) He's paying
through the nose. Grab it.

That's... that's erm...
that's too much.

I can manage it.
I want you to have it.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

(smacks lips) Well, erm,
if you find that you can't,

you know, you can just...
(inhales deeply)

...you can just tell me.

Thanks.

-We done?
-Mm. Mm-hmm.

Sorry

-(door opens, door shuts)
-(gentle melodic music)

(indistinct chatter)

Alice.

-Hey.
-Hi.

(Jack) It's good to see you.

It's like I'm suddenly
living someone else's life.

-(Alice) Where are you staying?
-(Jack) Paul and Donna's.

Are you eating?
'Cause it's easy to forget to eat,

-but you, you absolutely can't.
-I'm eating lots.

And you've gotta
make yourself sleep,

even though I know it's...

I'm sure it's not easy, but just
stay in bed until it happens.

-(music concludes)
-Stay in sofa.

What about an apartment?

Donna knows somebody,
so after this,

I've gotta go out
and see a place in Forest Gate.

Let me help.

You need somewhere closer
in the night, you like to walk.

It's all right.
Can't let you do it.

And Celia, how's she?

I haven't seen Celia in three days.

So, I don't know how she is.

I'm so sorry about everything.

It's not your fault.

It's like completely
and thoroughly my fault.

Who could have seen any
of this coming? It's just...

(Alice) If you take that place,

will you send me pictures
and the address?

I just need to know
that you're safely, you know,

-ensconced.
-Okay.

-Promise?
-I promise.

-(gentle music playing)
-How are you doing?

You said you were very good
in messages two through 14.

I mean, you seem very good.

Yeah, I'm the world's
happiest orphan.

That should be a T-shirt.
(chuckles)

I'm born again, not religiously,
but in every other way.

That's wonderful.

The advantage
of coming all the way out here

is you get much more space
for your money

in an absolutely insane market.

That's worth a slightly less
elegant finish, I'd say.

We will get the rubble removed.

-I can move in right away.
-Yes.

-Donna will be so happy.
-(music concludes)

Not that she hasn't loved
having you around.

Let's go find Saul and pitch him
the syphilis project.

-I need another victory today.
-Er, he said no.

I was trying
to find a way of telling you.

-(Jack) You pitched it without me.
-(indistinct chatter)

Well, the meeting came,
you weren't here.

I wasn't here
because my life exploded.

Well, he knows that.
That's one of the reasons

why he said no.

-How does he know that?
-People hear things?

-What were his other reasons?
-Money.

He won't go out of pocket
on an issue

that's strictly third world.

That's what we do.

That's what we wish we did.

What we actually do mostly
is work for pay.

-I'm gonna talk to him.
-I wouldn't.

We've gone down a peg right now.

Jack Kane, model Citizen Boy Scout
is now Jack Kane...

(Paul tutting)

Why are people
so fucking sanctimonious?

(Paul)
I can understand his perspective.

You can't do work that relies
on inspiration if you're ashamed.

I'm not ashamed.

(Paul) Don't be ashamed
of your shame.

You're one of the few people alive
who can still feel shame.

-Treasure it.
-(door lock beeps)

(knocking on door)

-(Jack) Hello?
-(Maya) Delivery for Jack.

Hi, Jack.
I'm Maya, Alice's assistant.

-Hi, Maya.
-We've got a few things for you.

Come on, guys.

(delivery man)
Where do you want this?

-(Maya) Where do you want this?
-(indistinct chatter)

Erm, just the kitchen...

-(Maya) Just the kitchen.
-...I suppose.

-(delivery man 2) Maya, bedroom?
-(Maya) Bedroom?

Bedrooms, right...

-Up there?
-...there.

Yeah, great, thank you.

-Plants.
-Mm. Thank you.

And this is
for while you're watching us.

-Thank you.
-You're welcome.

-I can't pay for...
-(Maya) Oh, no, no.

-(Maya) There'll be no paying.
-(Jack) Okay.

(Jack) Oh, it's incredible.
I mean, it is so touching

and thoughtful and everything, but-

(Alice) All right,
all right, all right.

Well, I can't accept this.
You know, not, not all of that.

You went a bit bananas,
don't you think?

(Alice) Let me fix what I can fix.

-Alice, you sent lettuce.
-(Alice laughs)

Well, if you return it,
I will never forgive you.

(Jack sighs) Okay.

Er, but I'm paying you back
every penny then.

It's a house warming gift,
you moron.

-It's a fuckin' house, Alice.
-(Alice chuckles)

If we keep talking about it,
it'll be completely ruined.

(Jack) Okay.

(Alice) And you're welcome.

Er, Maya, by the way, is fantastic.

(Alice) Well, you can have her too,
if you like. Is she still there?

Yeah. She's a task master.

(Alice) She may have found
a milieu.

(chuckles)

You'll have to come around
and see it sometime.

Yeah?

-Maybe, erm, one night this week.
-(Jack) Brilliant.

-I'll dress the lettuce.
-(Alice laughs)

(Lynn) Okay.

-(Celia cooing)
-(Lynn) Now.

Now...

-Look who it is.
-(Jack) Hmm.

-Look who it is.
-(Jack) Hello, darling.

-(chuckles)
-Hello, darling.

-(Celia coos)
-Yeah.

There we go. Hello. Oh, Hello.

-Yeah, she's colicky, so...
-(Jack) Yeah.

Oh, man.

(exhales)
I feel sorry for both of you.

-In you go.
-Yeah, well,

you'll be sorry for yourself
in a couple of hours.

-(Jack laughs)
-(Lynn laughs)

-(Celia cooing)
-Oh, it's okay, bubba.

-Shh...
-(Lynn) It's okay honey.

-(Celia crying)
-(Jack) Shh...

-Come here.
-Here we go.

That's a nice one.

-Thank you.
-(Lynn) Mm-hmm.

Er, yeah, if she, you know,
when she starts crying,

if you're at your wit's end,
just call me.

I'm sure we'll be fine.

Not that you, er, look it,

but I'm sure you
want a good night's sleep.

(groans, chuckles)
I'm sure I do look it.

(smacks lips) Er, breast milk.

-(Celia cooing)
-(Jack) Mm.

-(Jack clears throat)
-So, erm, freeze what you don't use

and then you can have it
for next time.

-(Jack) Great.
-Mm-hmm.

-(Lynn smacks lips, sighs)
-Okay.

Sorry.

-Sorry. (chuckles) All right.
-(Celia cooing)

-Okay, you say goodbye.
-(Lynn) Yeah.

Okay. Bye, bye sweetheart.

-(Celia coos)
-I'll see you in the morning.

-Okay.
-Hmm.

Don't frighten
your father too much. (chuckles)

-Oh, sorry, yeah.
-(Jack) Thanks.

There we go.

-I'll see you soon.
-(Lynn) Yeah.

(Jack) Oh, come on. There we go.

(sighs)

-(inhales, exhales deeply)
-(doorbell ringing)

-(mutters)
-(door knocks)

-Hello.
-Hey.

-Shh.
-(whispers) Hi.

Celia is inside. She's sleeping.

Fuck, I'm so sorry.
I didn't think of that.

I didn't think of that.
It's... it's fine.

It's just... we said, "some night."
We didn't say tonight.

I should have texted.
I should have texted.

(sighs) It's grand. I just...
I just it's her first night here.

I don't know how I'd feel...
I don't know how Lynn

-would feel about it.
-Completely understood.

It was an impulse,
I shouldn't follow those.

Oh, well, I feel bad now.

Oh, don't,
this is my consummate bad.

I was never here.

Good night.

(grunts) No, no, here, listen.
Here, listen. Just...

Just come in for 30 seconds,
have a sip of water,

I'll feel better
and then you can fuck off. Okay?

(chuckles) Okay,
but I'm only doing this for you.

(whispers) Just be quiet.

She's the most beautiful thing
I've ever seen in my life.

We better not push our luck.

(exhales heavily)

It is very nice
to see you so happy.

I mean, I wish
I understood it better, but...

Oh, I don't wanna talk
about that if it's okay.

I just wanna be right here
in this moment,

and then perhaps the next moment
will be as good as this moment,

and then the next after that.
And then pretty soon,

you're talking about
a whole lifetime of great moments.

(Jack chuckles)

Jack...

If we were gonna... try again,

I'd wanna take it really slow.
Be really sure.

Start on really firm footing.

So that it would last, you know?

Wouldn't you?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hmm.

-(Celia crying)
-Sorry.

That might be the 30 seconds up.
Fucking hell.

-Oh no.
-(Celia coos)

-Oh, she's not happy.
-(Jack) I know. (chuckles)

Shh, shh, shh.

-Do you have a dryer?
-(Celia cries)

-Pop her in the middle of that.
-(Jack) All right. Come on darling,

we're gonna go down
just for a second.

-Just for a second.
-(Celia coos, cries)

-(Jack shushing)
-Here, love.

Do you want that?

-(Jack) No, no. (gasps) Hello.
-(Alice) There we go.

Ah, she's fine. Hello.

-(Jack) Oh my God, it's a miracle.
-(chuckles)

Wow.

I don't wanna be
too pleased with myself.

I will pay you good money
not to leave tonight.

(Celia crying)

(grunts, groans)

-It's okay, I'll go.
-(groans)

-No, I'll do it.
-No, no let me go.

-Okay, okay, okay.
-(Alice chuckling)

If I've failed,
then come rescue me, okay?

(sighs) You're great.

I am an unswerving delight.

Thank you.

Yeah, I'm behind you,
it's not fair.

It's not fair.

(Celia crying)

It's all right.
Yeah, you're gonna be all right.

You're okay.

Shh.

It's gonna be all right.

-Shh.
-How is she?

What are you doing, Jack?

-Why would you do that, Jack?
-Wha the fuck. Sorry.

-Sorry, sorry, sorry, just keep...
-Why the fuck would you do that?

-(Jack) Come here. Come here.
-Why...

What the fuck?

(Jack shushing, kisses)

Who the fuck does that?

(muttering)

-Sorry, I...
-(Jack shushing)

Is she all right?

(Jack) Yeah, she's fine,
she's fine.

-(Celia continues crying)
-(muttering)

It's okay.

(train whirring)

-(indistinct chatter)
-(cutlery clinking)

Is there anything you feel
you can tell me?

(Reya) Are you not enjoying it?

No, no, it's lovely, thank you.

Just a bit
of a late night last night.

(Reya) I'm happy
to get you something else.

No, honestly. No, we're fine.

It isn't easy, is it?
With the baby?

How old is she? He?

Er, she's nine months.

Make the perfect blend
of the two of you.

(chuckles) Hmm.

Thanks.

-I should get her back.
-Yeah.

Do you wanna meet me at that later?

Just to watch it.

If you're not, you know,
too put off by

my performance last night.

I like kites.

-So I'll see you there.
-Bye, bye.

-(Lynn chuckles) Oh!
-Hello.

There they are,
my brave little adventurers.

-(Jack chuckles)
-Oh, how was it?

(Jack) Er, it was, yes,
it was exactly as you said.

Hello.

-Oh, my bubba.
-Here we go.

Oh, my bubba.

-(Jack chuckles)
-Oh, my bubba.

Do you wanna come in for a tea
or a coffee or something?

No, thanks. I've been, erm,
mainlining caffeine.

Oh God, did she sleep much?
Did you?

Bits and pieces.

-Oh, God.
-(Jack chuckles)

Sorry.
She was pristine in the taxi.

Oh, no. It's...
Do you have er, erm,

like a jasmine candle
at your place?

No.

Have you started
wearing jasmine suddenly?

No.

Then who's been holding her?

Alice came over.

Did she?

Yeah, she was great
with her actually.

She found out a way
to kind of make her stop crying...

And did she stay the night?

(scoffs) Not in the way
that you think.

-Jesus Christ.
-What?

What? Erm...

We came at this
with the spirit of kinship, Jack,

-and now at the first opportunity...
-It isn't like that.

Oh, no.
Oh, oh, I can see exactly how it is

and how it's going
to be going forward.

Well... well done.

Okay, great.
Just ground rules rewritten then.

Two words
to the wise going forward, Jack.

One, get yourself some Jasmine.

And two, just lie to me.

I know you know how to.

Oh, it's okay, bubba. It's okay.

(birds chirping)

Hey.

-(indistinct chatter)
-(dog barking in distance)

(Jack) I think that one's
a pterodactyl.

(Alice) Hmm.

(Jack) It's by far the scariest
of the dinosaurs if you ask me.

You know,
the other dinosaurs you could like,

see them coming and run away
or hide or whatever

but the Pterodactyl,
you're just like,

minding your own business and then,

something grabs you
by the face and flies off

and you don't even have time
to leave a note. (chuckles)

You okay?

My dad used to come
into my room when I was a kid.

He used to wait until my mum
was passed out drunk.

He hated my mum.

Hated all women, really.

One time he didn't close the door
all the way

and I saw her standing there
in the corridor.

Watching.

Imagine clinging
to a marriage like that.

You know what she said
the next day?

"You stole him from me."

I really thought by now
that it would be different, Jack.

You know,
you do all the things in the world.

You run your gauntlet
of caregivers,

so you learn
about attachment disorder

and all the rest.

(inhales deeply) And it helps,
but, erm...

The present can't fix the past.

And there are just some...

things and some people
you just can't out live.

The best that you can do
is make yourself operational,

and to see the good in people.

And love them. (chuckles)

And I love you.

But we don't...

have a future together, you know.

If you think there's any way
I'll ever abandon you,

you're wrong.

If I could be
with anyone in the world,

it would be with you.

But it will end in ruins.

Shouldn't it be my choice too,
knowing the risks?

No. No.

Because you know them,
but you don't know them.

Because we're supposed
to keep our loved ones

out of harm's way
and not chuck them

into it screaming.

And because honestly,
I'd just rather die

than disappoint you again.

You could never disappoint me.

-(Alice) I have.
-No.

I have.

I will again.

You're like the incarnation
of everything I've ever wanted.

-(gentle music playing)
-But I just can't have, you know?

It's all your bloody fault anyway.

Why?

Cause you should've read
the tea leaves,

that what,
what's bigger than tea leaves?

Bloody palm fronds?

The Kremlin-sized collection
of red flags.

But, no.

You just like, loved me. (sobs)

Blind as justice and...
dumb as sand.

Anyway, it'll be
someone else's problem, now.

Until they figure out
what you've found out,

which is that
you can't save people.

I never thought
that you needed saving, Alice.

I don't think that you do.

I just thought that
if we loved each other enough,

that whatever the problems were,

we'd be strong enough
to get through it.

I dunno if we'll see
each other ag... again.

But you definitely have
my permission to think about me

and, erm, imagine
that I'm out there,

somewhere,

most probably thinking of you.

(gentle music continues)

(music concludes)