Original subtitles

Where the fuck do you think you're going?

Just going to my cell.

Where's the fucking hash, bro?

You know we're going to find it. That's right, motherfucker.

Cost that shit up and we're going to have a serious fucking problem.

I don't know what you're talking about, okay?

That's fucking bullshit and you know it. You know it would be a real fucking

shame to see somebody get shanked over this bullshit, you googly -eyed

motherfucker.

Fuck you, die.

Shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot.

Trin, it's fine. Like, I'm perfectly happy here on the couch all fucking day.

Like, don't worry about me. Dad, you gotta snap out of it. Come on, you

be happy you're not in jail.

I'm trying to snap out of it, but it's fucked. I mean, first I'm in jail and

my delicious, wicked dope is on the outside.

Now I'm out of jail and all my fucking drugs are in jail. Like, I can't smoke

this shitty government dope. It's fucking awful.

How's it going?

I've got a total Debbie down there.

All right.

Enough of this bullshit. Get up, man. Get up and get drunk and high with me.

happening. Rick.

Fuck jail. Jail's fucking shitty now. We should be celebrating. Come on. Get the

fuck up.

Come on, Dad. You gotta do it. For me.

Do it for your daughter.

Do it for Mo.

It's been so lame since you got out, Mr. Grumpy.

Will you shut the fuck up, Jacob?

Jesus Christ. All right, fine.

You wanna get fucked up, do you? Yes, I do. With my best friend right the fuck

now. Guess I'm gonna smoke the shitty government dope for one day. Yeah!

With the spirit?

All right, fuck it. What do you wanna stir it with, booze or dope?

Doesn't matter, man. You know what? I'll fucking drink Swiss right now until we

black out if you want to. Nice. We've got some mushrooms here. Let's get

up. Let's get fucked up for my family. Get some drinks going, Jacob. Come on,

buddy. All right.

Yeah.

Hello? Ricky, it's me.

Hey, boss. How are you?

How am I? Not fucking great, Ricky. I'm at the jail. Just a second. Let me put

you on speakerphone.

Listen to me.

We're going to take care of it.

Somehow we'll get the fucking hash another by the end of today. I promise,

buddy. Just relax.

Well, boys, you've got to fucking do something. They're all fucking looking

me. Listen,

you know the guy with the fucking beard with the long stockings? He's coming

after me for sure.

All right, all right, all right. Is Terry there?

Yes, he is. Fucking dealing with the murder, huh? All right, put him on the

phone. Terry?

For fuck's sake, he should be there, man.

Terry?

All right, listen to me, man. As an equal partner, I order you to fucking

protect Bob's at all costs. You got it?

Fuck's sakes.

So much for fucking partying.

We've got to find some mules immediately, man. Mules? We've got to

people to smuggle the hash out of the jail. They're not going to put fucking

animals in the prison.

That's what I'm fucking talking about, man. You know what? I know exactly who

can fucking ask.

For seven drinks or what?

Would you shut the fuck up, Jacob?

Holy fuck!

On those days, I get full of rage. The only way to release it is in someone's

cage. That's why I take ass every once in a while. Jesus, Freddie, sit down.

That's not keeping the rage in the cage.

But better than last week. Who's next?

I've got a particular thing I'd like to... What the fuck?

Boys, you know, I like to think that I'm a nice person. You know, I'm on the

outside to give to charity. I'm a family man, you know.

I try to keep my calm, you know, but sometimes I lose my composure.

You know, I think I got a friend.

I think we're friends. I think maybe we're going to share something, but

they're withholding from me. It just drives me a little crazy.

And it's all good, right? And I'm going to get some of that sharing.

But they don't. And it just makes you want to, you know, rip their throat out

maybe just shank them.

Just a nice, easy shank.

You know?

So what do you think? Can you guys help us out?

Well, this sounds fucked to me. And dangerous.

Not fucked.

It's not dangerous. You guys are senior citizens, for God's sake. They're not

even going to fucking blink an eye when you go in there.

Well, why can't you smuggle this shit out by yourselves?

We can, but it takes forever. I mean, you guys have much better smuggling

equipment than we do, right? Come on, guys. We're too old for this shit. Yeah,

yeah. No, look. No, I'm sorry, guys. I can't do this.

Look, ladies. I know how fucked up this is, okay? And I apologize for even

asking you to do this.

But we're fucking desperate here. Yeah, but there's no good hash around. I need

to smoke some good fucking hash or I'm going to die.

Ricky, Ricky, that's not what I mean.

Bubbles are in a lot of danger.

Okay? Well, yeah, that's what I meant. Bubbles, right?

He's in prison protecting all the hatchet. If we don't get it out of

don't know what the fuck's going to happen to him. I mean, they threatened

fucking shank him. Ah, my sweet Jesus. I know. Oh, jeez. Yeah, it's fucking

awful. Poor little guy.

Oh, if anything happened to him, I'd die. So would I. Oh, yeah. Yeah, me too,

for Christ's sake.

Oh, okay.

So what the hell would we have to do?

Okay. Ricky. Well, we were thinking this in the front.

And maybe this in the back. I don't know how stretched out things are. Maybe we

can go a lot bigger. Are you fucking insane?

We can go bigger.

Well, I thought you were talking about a little piece of hash.

Not shoving a chunk the size of King Kong's fucking dong in my hole.

It's not that big. Ah, come on, guys. We're not in college anymore.

It's not a toothbrushy thing, maybe.

But I'd have to have one hell of a buzzer for the buzzer. Let's do it.

fucking wasted. And I'm sure we can get both of these in there if we get drunk.

No. Not fucking happening. No way. No way. Thanks a lot, guys.

Just think about yourselves, as usual. Ricky, I totally understand. That's a

to ask.

What if I were to pay you guys a couple hundred bucks each?

No.

Okay, all right. I understand.

We've been nice so far. That can change real, real fast. Listen, I've seen you

wrestle at the Halliburton Forum. I'm a big fan.

It's hash time, bro.

Listen, motherfucker, stop lying to us. Where's the fucking hash? Look, I don't

know what you were told, but there's no hash.

Bullshit, I need to get high, you fuck. Yeah, keep your dear lying to us,

motherfucker.

Calm down. Get the fuck off the table, Pitbull. Animal.

Faster.

Oh, my fuck.

Hey, fuck, you're here. Listen, I need protection.

These people are fucking crazy.

Mr. Bubbles, where in the fuck is the hash?

Um, respectfully, sir, I have no idea what you're talking about.

You and I both know that that's a steaming pile of jawbeat.

Now you tell me where it is, and you tell me where it is now.

I don't know anything about it.

You don't know anything about it.

Right. Well, I don't know anything about protecting you, hiding the hash.

Now you think on that. You think on that well, laddie.

I say you've got about 30 minutes to do the trick.

I can't do that. Who's going to fucking protect me? Nobody?

Don't worry, Bubbles. We got your back.

I feel so fucking bad for Bubbles.

Oh, shit, man. It's all her fucking fault. Hopefully he's okay.

Fuck, it's the prison gate.

Hello?

Guys, I'm just calling, like, shit's going fucking sideways in here, like...

Bubbles, get the hash down the hall like you're protecting them.

We're talking about like fucking shakes and shit. Shit? You gotta fucking

protect them, Terry. We're coming. You have to fucking protect them. Okay,

like, do whatever you need to. Get the fuck back in here.

Leave the fuck alone.

For fuck's sakes.

Oh, my God. Is Bubbles gonna be okay? You guys have to do something.

We will, Trina. I promise nothing's gonna happen to him, okay? If nothing

happens to him, man, I'm never gonna fucking forgive myself. How the fuck did

do this to him, man? We need to get a hold of ourselves, all right?

Let's go for a fucking drive. We'll get high as fuck and we'll figure this out.

Okay. All right.

I might be back. I might not. Love you, sweetheart.

Better make it a six paper one, Ricky. How about a fucking ten? Love you. You

know what? We're fucked. There's nothing we can do. We're going to have to tell

him to give up the hash before he gets himself killed.

Yeah, I mean, that is one option, but I don't fucking like that option, okay?

I think I might have a better option. Bye.

What the fuck?

Just giving up all that hash would fucking suck.

No kidding. I could fucking make out with you right now.

Would you stop talking like that, please?

It's fucking real.

Big dripping gas on the paint.

Dripped gas on my cock.

Hello, anyone there?

How can I help you, sir?

Yeah, I just wanted to inform you that we're not paying for this gas that we're

pumping right now.

Oh, you have to press the button, sir.

I am pressing the fucking button.

We are not paying for this fucking gas.

Yes, you pay inside, sir.

Jesus Christ. You're pressing the button? I know how to use a fucking

Apparently you know. We're not paying for this fucking gas, so call the cops.

Okay, sir, I'm not quite sure what you're saying. The pump's already

could you come inside and pay, please? Let me try.

You got magic fingers?

Why don't you come rip the cigarette out of my fucking mouth?

Call the fucking cop!

Okay, have a great day.

What the fuck is going on here? I don't know. I don't know. For fuck's sakes.

All right, we don't have time for this shit.

What the fuck are you looking at?

You're fucked!

Why don't we just rob a bank, man? It's fucking simple.

Yeah, arm robbery of a fucking bank. Fifteen years in jail minimum.

Nag.

You only team wheelers lots of those around. Oh, it's only ten years in jail

You'll fuck a motorcycle then that can't be that bad. You know what you're

getting closer. That's theft over a thousand That's only what five years

You one of those baby cares your things are fucking portable.

We're not stealing baby anything. Okay, we got a thing smaller here, man You

know what?

All this thinking thoughts make my brain about to fucking explode. I'm getting

hungry. I need to stop this door and get Cock the pepperoni with chips and maybe

a pop.

You know what, man?

That's perfect.

What the fuck is he staring at us, man?

Do you not see me stealing the stuff over here, bud? Like, how fucking stupid

are you? Yeah, I see you. I just don't care.

You don't fucking care? You fucking cared last time, didn't you?

The store was a crime scene. Shut down for two days and the owner lost a bunch

of money. But he's a dick, so rob him. I don't care.

Fucking kid of me. All right, let's take it up a notch. What the fuck are you

doing? Call the cops and tell them to steal these chips and these cocks of

pepperoni, you fucking dumbass.

Hi, there's a guy stealing chips and multiple cocks of pepperoni. He's got a

pointed at me. Why the fuck does he have a gun pointed at you? You're pointing a

gun at me. No, no, no. Tell them there's no fucking gun. They want me to tell

you they're just shoplifting and there's no gun.

No, no, no.

You tell them there's no fucking gun. I just told them. No, tell them there is

no fucking gun. I don't know. Are you stupid?

No, I don't know.

Hey guys, how's it going?

Who did?

Randy, he was trying to protect Bubbles, and should we move in, sir?

Let Bubbles sweat for a bit.

Keep an eye on the tubby bastard. Make sure he doesn't bleed out all over the

place.

Fuck, I hate dealing with this dick.

You got a better plan?

Nope. He's fucking bleeding pretty bad, Julian.

Suck it up, buddy.

You're almost fixed up. Hold on!

Sam, get the fuck out of here! We got a situation!

Sam, get out of here, you filthy fucking cave slut!

Sorry?

Hey. Oh, can I...

help you? Is Sam here?

No, Sam had to run up to Parsbro.

Fuck's sake.

Can I do something for you?

Yeah, I got attacked by a flying chipmunk and I just need a couple

you don't mind.

This is a taxidermy, sir. I don't need a taxi. I just need a few stitches in

this fucking thing here.

Can you please just do this? He's terrified of hospitals. He usually comes

every time he gets hurt. Sam stitches him up.

Oh, poor guy. I would like to help, really, but I'm not licensed to work on

people, unfortunately.

I didn't get the grades.

You know what? I need some stitches. I hate to do this because you seem like a

really, really nice person and you're beautiful, but I need some fucking

stitches, please. I'm sorry. Oh, wow.

That's the same gun that I have. Oh, yeah? I love that fucking gun.

Yeah, I go to the range like three times a week. Oh, really? I haven't seen you

there. Yeah, we should go sometime. What's your name? Teresa.

Are you on, Teresa?

Okay, can you do this or what? Please, can you do this?

Okay. Since you asked me really nicely and we have the same gun, I'll do it.

That's really, really sweet of you, Teresa. Thank you. Come on back.

All right.

That's really, really sweet of you, Teresa. Fuck off. Turn the gun around.

Fucking hold me, all right, charlie and dummy?

I'll get you to check. I'll even try to get a handy. Fuck you.

Hey,

Teresa.

That deer mobile, is that Dan?

Yeah.

Cool, huh?

Yeah, it's really cool.

What the fuck do you need a gun for? You're not

having two fucking guns. Because one's bad enough.

Where the fuck are they? Give me the fucking thing. It's my fucking gun. This

an order. Give me the fucking thing.

There's a cop. There's a cop.

You probably saw the fucking gun. Nice going.

It's your fucking fault.

I'll get us out of this. You're not getting us out. Let me do the talking.

What's the rule on dope and cops? Put the fucking dope out. I'm not throwing

out. I'll fucking just put it out. I'm not fucking throwing it out. I'm doing

all the talking. Just keep your fucking mouth shut.

Let's go ahead, man. See what you got. Morning, gentlemen.

Officer, how you doing? Nice day, huh?

It's a beautiful day. Can you tell me why the fuck you pull us over? Because

like to fucking know that right now. If you have nothing better to do, you can

tongue my balls, massage my tits, or fucking give me a handy something.

Nice one.

Now, it starts with inconvenience, but... Let me guess. You need a fucking

license, insurance, registration. We don't have any of that shit, so fuck

My apologies, sir, but I... What?

Can't get your car card? You pull us over so we can suck it? I'm not sucking

your car. Do you want to suck it?

I'm not sucking your fucking car, bud. No, sir. Look, I just wanted to let you

know that you're...

Tim, the pointer up here, it's a little loose. It's bouncing all over your car.

Okay, okay. I mean, you may want to just tighten that up before you lose it.

Perfect. I'll let you know that your mother's a little loose, and we can't

tighten her up, can we, with her big fucking barrel pussy.

I'm sorry, what's that?

What's that?

No, I missed that. I missed what? What you said.

Officer, his dog just died.

He's a little off today. I'm sorry. I apologize.

Poor old Ruffy got hit by a truck.

Why don't I grab an adjustable, and I'll...

Okay, thank you. You're very nice.

What the fuck is wrong with you, man? I thought if I was a fucking asshole,

maybe you'd arrest us and throw us in jail for it. Oh, shit.

Hello?

What? When?

What?

Hello? What?

What? Fucking Jesus. That was Bubbles. He said Randy got fucking shanked, and

now they're after him, and they got cut off. For fuck's sakes. You know what?

Got no choice. I'm going to fucking jail right now. You coming with me or not?

I'm not going to get away. Just let me think about this for a second. Time to

shoot for the clouds. Are you coming or not?

Fuck's sakes.

It's bubbles, man. We're gonna get a lot more than a week for this, man. Yeah,

we are.

Fuck!

That's fire!

That's fire!

Fuck's sakes, that's not gonna do fucking anything.

That's not gonna do anything. It's gonna bounce right off him.

Holy fuck!

I can't hit somebody with that.

Bubs, come out, man. It's a surprise for you.

A surprise?

Yeah. Yeah, I don't fucking think so, bud. How much did they pay you to say

that? I'm not coming out there getting fucking shanked in the kid's face. You

won't get shanked, man. It's a surprise. I promise.

Yeah, I don't think so.

See that? I got that.

I'm not coming out.

Not for anybody.

All right, everyone.

We'll be back.

What's up, partner?

Get down here, man.

All right, who wants to get fucked up?

All right, boys, start for the wave, but the hash store is now fucking open.

So I'm going to let the fellas fuck around with their little hash operation,

I get a good cut anyway.

And did you hear about the warden?

Well, when he heard those boys were coming back to prison, he went off the

end, the blind bastard.

He went on some of that hard -breaking bad shit, if you know what I mean, and

he's gone to rehab.

So no heat there.

There? That's the fucking way jail's supposed to be.

Everybody's calm as fuck and happy. Oh, man. With the warden gone, it's fucking

game on.

Cheers to me.

Oh, my fuck, that is nice.

Oh, my fuck, that's good.

You know what? I got to say, when I didn't have this, I really didn't have a

hard time with it. It wasn't that bad. I just had to make an adjustment, which

is cool.

But now, fuck.

Now that I have the money to buy this whenever I want, I'm going to fucking

it. I mean, Jill, fuck it. I mean, right now I've got enough money that can

fucking supply me and be happy for a long, long fucking time.

We're going to make a shit ton of cash in this fucking place.

I'm not going to complain.

Why would I?

I can get as high as ten fucking hippies whenever I like. I can pour myself a

drink and things have really worked out to be pretty slick.

Life has never been better for Arden Fosse.

Being in jail is definitely not my ideal situation, you know, but I must say,

when your best friends are in here with you and there's not people trying to

kill you, it is a lot better. It's not bad.

I always used to say, like, I'd take a bullet for my friends or I'd die for my

friends, and I always thought it was just a saying, but once I've been

confronted with it, it might be true.

You know I had no part in this, right?

Well, you're standing right there.

I know, but business is business.

Right. I'm proud of you, though. You took it like a man.

Well, thanks, Freddy.

Ready to take it like a man again?

Sure, I'd like that.

All right.