All language subtitles for Girls.S01E08.ASAP.English-WWW.MY-SUBS.CO

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At best party ever.

All of Brooklyn and two-thirds
of Manhattan will be here.

- Oh!
- Marnie, this is... this is Audrey.

This happened in two weeks?

That is Adam and I am
not gonna talk to him.

- You seem great.
- Thank you.

- I just smoked crack. What's gonna happen?
- You're gonna be fine.

It's okay. It's okay.

- Shoshanna!
- Do not get raped by the man in plaid.

- Tako: Is that how you know Adam?
- Hannah: How?

- Through A.A.
- He's in A.A.?

Jeff: I can't believe I
texted you to hang out.

Oh, my God.
I'm that guy.

I don't think you're cool.

Let's let cooler heads
prevail... Oh, my God!

I can't do this kind
of thing anymore.

You're a tease.

Please stop the bike, Adam!

( Brakes squeak )

Look, kid, I don't know
what you want from me.

Do you want me
to be your boyfriend?

Sync & corrections by into-the-light,
www.MY-SUBS.com

( Music playing )

( Hannah laughs )

Oh, my God.

That is the cutest thing I've
ever seen in my whole life.

I was an amazing child.

Could you fly?

Could I what?

Could you fly?

Could you fly?

No, I couldn't fly, but then again,
I didn't have ears that big.

- Now you're gonna get it.
- ( Laughing )

I was joking.
I was joking.

Too bad, 'cause this is gonna
hurt you more than it does me.

You were a beautiful baby.

♪ Oh, run, run, run ♪

♪ Yeah, it's a long way down... ♪
( Bag rustling )

♪ But I am closer to the clouds... ♪
( Crunching )

♪ up here ♪

♪ You can take
everything I have ♪

- Hannah: Oh, my God.
- Adam: Would you have fucked a four-year-old me?

Hannah:
I was only two.

Adam: How fat were you?
Be honest.

- ( Bedsprings squeaking )
- ( Hannah moaning )

- Oh, my God.
- Adam: That's what I thought.

You were probably
a really late walker...

- Oh, my God.
- ...And you were probably toilet trained really late.

Hannah: Oh, God. Oh, my God.

( Slams )
♪ Like a skyscraper... ♪

- Hannah: Oh.
- Adam: Go, go, go, go, go.

Hannah: Oh, I'm gonna come.
I'm gonna come.

One more time.
( Moaning )

Adam:
That was fast.

- Hannah: Thank you.
- Adam: Thank you.

♪ Like a skyscraper. ♪

Girls - 1x08 - "Weirdos Need Girlfriends Too"
Original air date: 03.06.2012.

- You'll feel it soon.
- I won't.

( Panting ) I told you, okay,
endorphins don't work on me,

And anyone who's ever promised me a
runner's high is full of bullshit.

- Okay... no, no, no, no.
- This is embarrassing.

- No, no, no, no, no.
- You go on without me.

You just gotta reach your
threshold and run past it.

- Come on, high-five me.
- Your hands are, like, 10 feet from me.

So catch the fuck up!
High-five me!

- Come on!
- I don't like this, Adam.

- Yes, yes.
- I hate this. I hate this. I hate this.

Fuck, yes. I fucking love it.
Hannah, you're doing awesome.

- I hate this! Whoo!
- That's great.

- This'll change your life, I swear it.
- Whoo! Into what?

Whoa, pace yourself, kid.
Pace yourself.

Wow, no. Wow!

What the fuck?!
Get up.

You're, like, three blocks
from your house!

You could hop home.

No, get up!

Come on!

Charlie's in the bushes!

Charlie's in the bushes!
Come on!

( Laughing )

Oh, my God.

- Fucker. What?
- Look.

The ice-cream truck is parked
directly in front of my house.

- It's like life is a dream.
- Oh, shit.

- What?
- I don't do ice cream. It's like sweet mucus.

- Are you serious?
- Yeah.

( Laughing )
Yes.

- I mean, you can have some, though.
- Do you have any cash?

Look at me... I'm not even
wearing any underwear.

- Where would I put cash?
- I'm not wearing any underwear either.

- Hey.
- Man: Hey.

She'll show you her tits if
you give her some ice cream.

- I'm not gonna do that.
- Yes, you will.

- I'm not gonna do that.
- Just kidding. I have $5.

Mm-mm.

If you don't like ice
cream, what do you like?

I like you.

I'm done with these.

( Shorts thud softly )

( Emphatically )
Hello.

- Hannah: Marn, you okay?
- Of course I am.

What, I can't just, like,
catch up on some stuff

from the comfort of my own bed
on a weekend morning?

Okay, well,
is it Charlie stuff?

He and Audrey went to Rome.
They went to fucking Rome.

She had a work trip to Milan and then
they took a couple of days in Rome.

And he was making all those wishes
at those, like, overrated fountains

And they took a bajillion
pictures of it.

- This is your ex-boyfriend?
- Yes.

And you still wanna tap that?

Well, we were seriously
involved for four years

and I am now dealing
with the deeply painful fact

that I'm probably not
gonna end up with him.

Okay, you never wanted
to end up with him.

Hannah, don't minimize.

- That shit's really hard.
- Sorry.

- Adam: I'm sorry to hear you're going through that.
- Thank you.

When I broke up with my
girlfriend from college... so sad.

I lost 30 pounds.
I couldn't move or talk

or get my dick hard,
but it also made me go,

"Hey, who am I
and what do I want?"

Then I was like, boom,
I know who I am.

I wanted to switch majors
and buy a circular saw,

and I promised myself that I'd
follow my gut no matter what.

And I'd do what
makes me feel good.

What makes you feel good?

I like... reading.

( Chortles )

- ( Cell phone ringing )
- Hannah: Oh, here.

- Okay, we gotta jet out. We gotta go to tech.
- Okay.

Yo, skank. Where you at?
Gettin' that pussy pounded?

- It's my sister.
- Oh.

No one's ever taken me to
their tech rehearsal before.

( Laughs )

You just say "tech."

Sorry that I don't
know all the terms.

I'm just a little bit
nervous to see it, you know?

- Like, are you nervous to have me see it?
- No.

I'm really excited
for you to see it

Because I'm really good
at acting and writing.

Plus, the play
could be really good.

Ew.

Gay.

What?
( Knocks at door )

- Hello? Who is it?
- It's Jessa.

Let me in.
My thighs are on fire.

( Knocking at door )
Hi.

Oh, my God.

Ugh! My thighs are really rubbing
together like nobody's business.

It's like they're red
and raw and burning hot.

Feels like I had an epic
fuckfest with a ghost.

I just wish I had a
wheelchair for June and July.

Hannah isn't here.
She left with Adam.

But we had a plan.
She knew that I lost my job

and she was gonna
console me today.

Yeah, well, get used to it.

I mean, she hasn't really been
very good about keeping many plans

these days, or really any days.

Actually, she's always been
flaky about keeping plans.

And then, like, apologizing for
it like you're gonna shoot her.

Have you ever noticed
when she gets dressed up,

She'll, like, put on
a good dress and nice shoes

and then, like, do her lipstick and then
will, like, leave her forehead shiny?

- Yes. Yeah.
- Right?

It's like you've come this far.

- Both: Wash your forehead.
- I know.

It would be very easy.

Maybe now that she has
this boyfriend,

she'll start taking
better care of herself.

What's the deal with that guy?

Is he, like, a great thinker
or just a total fucking idiot?

I don't know... he's not,
like, un-nice or anything.

He's just fucking weird.

Like, I walked into the
bathroom the other day...

I kid you not, he was sitting
there, taking a shit

and drinking milk at the same
time, and just stared at me.

That kind of a person would just totally
masturbate in front of anyone any day.

Ew. I'm sure you're right.

I don't know...
I just feel bad for her.

She's never had a normal boyfriend
that's not gay, you know?

I don't know... maybe she just
doesn't realize how bizarre he is.

You look really gorgeous.

I love you all stripped down.

I've never been
this miserable in my life.

It's totally working.

No, okay.

It's my first day
of the sixth grade.

Mm, I don't know where to sit.

I just moved to town last week

and I've spent every day since
either reading in my hammock

or jerking off,
which I just learned to do.

And I'm pretty sure
I'm the only one

who knows how to perform
this awesome trick.

You just pull your wiener till it's
hard and suddenly, it's a cock.

And I know everyone
in bio class is looking at me

because who else is 6'3"
when they're 12 years old?

I smell like sweat.

I smell like a gerbil as I sit down
and try hard to make eye contact

with Shelby Carruthers.

Hey!
I like your pen.

Did you get it at the mall?

It's not a regular pen, right?

She got up and moved
five chairs down

and didn't talk to me again for
five years until junior year

when I fucked her
on the strip of lawn

between the liquor store
and the dog salon.

And the whole time,
I was seeing that pen...

Its pink, fuzzy end
moving through the air.

"That'll teach you.
That'll teach you.

That'll teach you."

I haven't figured the rest
of that bit out, Gavin,

So we can skip
to the canoe part.

I haven't been on this
river in a long time.

( Beatboxes )

♪ Yo, yo, yo, I love
boy scout camp ♪

♪ Who says we be gettin'
too old for this shit? ♪

( Beatboxing )

♪ I love s'mo-o-ores... ♪

- What the fuck are you doing?
- What?

- That's not what we talked about.
- Well, I changed it a little.

It's an easy joke...
the wigger joke.

Everyone laughs at the white
guy doing the black voice.

I'm just trying to bring
some comedy to it, man.

All the stuff you've been doing
is like rejection and date rape.

Real shit.

Gavin, there was a lot of
complex stuff being expressed

in what you wrote,
a lot of pathos.

Give people a chance
to process that.

Don't be afraid that if they're not
laughing, they're not feeling.

Look, you owe it to yourself to try
stripping that thing down a little.

Maybe just one "Yo."

And throw some of the lines away
a little and lose that hat.

You're a hero, man.

You keep me honest.
Seriously, thank you.

No problem.

- We'll work on it tomorrow.
- No, I don't think so.

What?

I just don't think
this is my thing.

Are you for real?
We open in two weeks.

Yeah, I'm for real.
Good luck with it, man.

- You're... you're serious?
- Yeah, I'm fucking serious.

You can't do this to me, Adam.

I invested 2,000 bucks.

I can't get that back.
You didn't invest anything.

Yeah, I did... my time.

And I can't get my time back,
so I guess we're even.

It's just, like,
fucking people.

Shit, I met him.

He tells me he's down
to do one kind of thing

And it's another
kind of fucking thing.

If I knew he was gonna bust out that
"Yo, yo, yo" shit, I would've stayed home.

I really liked your monologue.

Like, maybe you could
use it for something else.

Anyway, it's for the best.

I need to focus
on building my boat.

You know, people don't always
get it right on the first try.

Like, you have to teach them how to
please you or you have to compromise.

Not in your art.
That shouldn't be a compromise.

- ( Tires screech )
- ( Horn honks )

Would you fucking watch it?!

I'm walking
with a fucking woman!

Can you see that? Huh?

You wanna hit a fucking woman with your
fucking car, You fucking cunt-satchel?

Fuck you!

Oh, my God.

Adam!

- She's got nothing on you.
- Mm.

Really, and it makes me
question his taste

because you are a striking and classic
beauty in the vein of Brooke Shields.

Jessa, you don't
have to do this.

- Do what?
- This.

Like, pretending we're friends.

I really can't handle
being mocked right now.

- Are you serious, Marnie?
- We've known each other for six years;

You've known my name for three.

I care for you.

I do.
I really do.

And if you don't see that, then
that's a failing on my part

because I really admire your work
ethic, your commitment to hygiene.

I think you are smart and kind and...
- Uptight.

A bit, yes.

That isn't fun for me.
Do you realize that?

Being the uptight girl?
I hate it.

Charlie had to find someone
else to go to Rome with.

No one ever asks me to get, like,
friendship tattoos or whatever.

Sometimes being
inside my own head

is so exhausting that
it makes me wanna cry.

So then get out of there
for a little while.

Fucker!

- Let's not go outside again today, okay?
- Mm-hmm, yeah.

It seems better
when we don't go outside.

So...

What do you wanna do now?

Um, take a shower.

( Screams )

Sorry, you really
scared me, Adam.

No, thank you.

I'm good, thanks.

- It's for your split ends.
- Thank you.

( Snickering )

- ( Urinating )
- What?

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God,
you're peeing on me!

- Oh, my God! Oh, my God, stop it!
- ( Adam laughing )

You're still doing it!
Stop it!

- Chill, kid. It's just pee.
- It's gross.

It's not funny,
so stop laughing.

- It's gross!
- Urine is sterile.

A lot of people urinate
on wounds to heal them.

Really?
A lot of people do that?

It doesn't make sense
to get out now.

- There's pee on you.
- ( Screams )

- Jessa: So you were how old?
- I was 14.

Oh, my God.
To who, your cousin?

Mm-mm.

To my boyfriend Jared.
We had been dating for a year.

- And you were 14?
- Yeah.

I don't know,
I just felt ready.

Planned the whole thing,
obviously.

We were at his lake house.
There were candles everywhere.

I put a towel down on the bed.

And I guess once I had done it,

I just felt like I didn't need to try
it again for, like, a very long time.

- Why? How old were you?
- I was 17.

- You were 17? You were older than me?
- Yeah.

I didn't grow breasts for a very long
time, and sex without breasts is creepy.

That's what I keep
trying to tell Hannah.

( Laughs )
That's true.

- Her breasts are teensy.
- They're teensy.

- Yeah.
- But I love them.

Did you order those?

- I didn't, no.
- Bartender: They're from him.

Gray suit.

Oh, fabulous. Hi.

Oh, never mind.

Oh, come on, he's so cute.

This is exciting, being hit on.

- Jessa: Ugh.
- Marnie: He looks like he's a boss.

Adam: You look good in the suit.

- You mean like a giant baby?
- No. Pretty.

It's comfy, right?

There's like this weird slit
down the whole crotch.

Yeah, so you can pee out of it.

I really fucking thought
you'd laugh.

- Well, I didn't.
- Well, I'm sorry you don't get what's so hysterical

about me peeing on you.

Okay, you are not
a good apologizer.

Just F.Y.I.

All right, I won't bug you
if you're trying to read.

Have you thought
any more about the play?

What is there to think about?

Just that you were so excited
about it this morning.

- And then we got there...
- It sucked, yeah.

Shit happens
like that sometimes.

So then maybe you need to spend
another week workshopping it.

I can't explain
basic truths to him.

It's too draining.

Okay, but I get why you won't let
him do it with a different actor.

Because my name's on it.

But that's good.
That's a writing credit.

I would rather do nothing
for the rest of my life

than have my name attached
to something mediocre.

Your integrity's
all that matters.

- It's a stupid play.
- Not a stupid play.

It's really good.

When I was watching it, I was so
excited because it was so, so good.

What about all that fake shit
Gavin was doing?

I don't know. I wasn't watching Gavin.
I was watching you.

Do you know how unusual it is
to see someone doing something like that?

Like, what you were doing,
okay, that's so open and honest

and weird and you're not making
fun of them in your mind...

It made me want to go and meet you
when you were 15 and kiss you.

I think I'll let Gavin
do the play.

- Really?
- Yeah.

I'll change my name.
I'll use a pseudonym.

- What's your pseudonym?
- Fuckin' Ben Franklin.

I'll change my name, but he has to
take out some of my favorite lines.

That's a good
compromise, right?

Yeah, I just feel like I travel so
much now, I'm, like... I'm lag-proof.

- You know, I'm like...
- Wow.

Like, I'm resistant to jet lag.

That's inspiring.

I took the most amazing
Middle Eastern studies class...

- Love the Middle East, yeah.
- ...When I was in college,

and I almost became an
international relations major.

- Oh.
- Almost.

( Laughs )

- This has been great, hasn't it?
- Mm.

What an unexpected pleasure, just
sharing a beverage with Jenna

- ... and Marnie.
- Marnie: Yes.

- Great names.
- Thank you.

Well, thanks for
handling the check.

Mm, you got it.

Hey, I have a suggestion.

I live, like, a block away and I
just moved into Brooklyn last week.

I don't know anybody
and I have been saving

the most beautiful bottle
of red wine for a rainy day.

Or a rainy night.

Or rainy night.

The weather's fine.

Um, well, we should welcome you
to our borough, first of all.

- Thank you.
- And I don't know about you,

but I would love to do
something "uncool."

I'd rather do a cool thing.

- She's a firecracker, this one.
- Marnie: I know.

But, yeah, we'd love to go.

Great. Done.

I'm just gonna run to the little
boys' room, and then we'll mosey?

- We'll mosey.
- Okay.

He's cute.

Is he, though?

His face is sort of
very cereal-boxy.

It's a perfect square.

No, I think he's hot.

And what he does
is so interesting.

What is a venture capitalist?

It sounds like some sort of explorer,
but that can't be the case.

I like him.

And I like this drink.

And I like you, Jessa.

( Music playing )

♪ Now the funny glare
to pay a gleaming tare ♪

♪ in a staring under heat... ♪
( Children laughing )

Man: I've just been doing it,
like, three or four months.

Started with an episode
of "Entourage."

Isn't it cool?

I call this one "Field nice,"

Like field mice,
but, you know, happy.

Thomas-John didn't want you to get
self-conscious while you were taking a piss,

so he started spinning.

I know how self-conscious you gals
get when you're taking a tinkle.

Took care of it.

He's working
on a mash-ups album.

Mash-up!

He's mixed
"Steal My Sunshine" by Len...

- Right.
- ...And field recordings of children playing.

They're children
playing in a field.

Sounds, uh, awesome.

I mean, it's a hobby.

I'm not claiming, like, I'm the best,
but I fucking enjoy myself, you know?

- Can I have some more, please?
- Yeah.

( British accent ) "Please,
sir, can I have some more?"

( Snickers, laughing )

That was hilarious.

Have you seen it?
I did "Oliver Twist."

You ever heard of that?

It's english.

Oh, this is my...
New one.

( Music playing )
( Monkey gibbering )

You know, this is actually just
two tunes playing simultaneously

in different iTune windows,
so I don't have to be here, I can join you.

Here I am.

Has anyone ever told you
you look like a young Brooke Shields?

Actually, yeah.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

And you... Julie Christie.

Uh, yeah, good reference.

- Eh?
- It's good. Yeah, totally, totally.

Oh, fuck, it's so rare to find
just two such different,

But at the same time
equal beauties...

Okay, that's our cue to go.
Thank you so much...

- No, no, we don't have to go.
- You don't have to go.

( Stammers )
We've outstayed our welcome.

- No.
- It's... thank you so much. You've been so...

♪ Slave to love... ♪

( Monkey gibbering )

♪ Slave to love... ♪

Yikes.

Just follow
your instincts, Brooke.

♪ We're
the restless-hearted ♪

♪ Not the chained and bound ♪

♪ The sky is burning ♪

♪ a sea of flame ♪

♪ Though your world
is changing ♪

♪ I will be the same ♪

♪ Slave to love ♪

♪ Slave to love... ♪

( Monkeys gibbering )

♪ Slave to love... ♪

Oh!

Whoa. Oh, no.

Are you fucking serious?

- Do you have, like, a paper towel?
- Are you fucking serious?

Like, some seltzer water?

Are you fucking serious?!

This is... this is
a $10,000 rug.

This is a very
fucking expensive rug.

If you're gonna spill on it, you
gotta look more sorry than that!

- I'm really sorry.
- She's sorry.

You know what,
if you're really sorry,

you'd better be planning to make this
a very special night for all of us,

not just you
and fucking missy Malool.

All of us.

And not me just watching you
girls go at it for a little bit

and getting
a little bit turned on.

I wanna be balls-deep
in something!

And I don't even
fucking care what it is.

No more excluding me,
Mary Poppins!

It's not fair.

I wanna be part of the group.

Oh, that...
will never happen.

Jessa.

This isn't right, is it?

This can't be the way
that this goes.

- I'm... I'm not gay.
- She's so not gay.

I was just trying to be free.

Do you even know
what it's like to work hard?

No. Tell us.

I've been under a lot of pressure
my whole life to succeed.

Daddy didn't buy me this rug
or this apartment or this nose.

That's not your nose.

There's no way
that's your fuckin' nose.

There is no cartilage
in the world that exquisite!

So it kind of ticks me off
when I come to Williamsburg

after working hard all fucking
day in the "real world,"

And I see all these
stupid little daddy's girls

with their fuckin'
bowler hats...

What are you doing wearing
a fucking bowler hat, stupid?

And then you come over
and you flirt and flirt

and flirt and flirt
and kiss and kiss

and listen to my amazing tunes,
drink my beautiful wine,

and then spill it all over my gorgeous rug...
And laugh about it.

Yeah, well, we're not laughing
at your rug, trust me.

- We're not laughing. You... don't hurt us.
- Come here.

Jessa: We're laughing
at your mash-ins.

It's mash-ups!

Oh, and just so you know, I'm gonna go
eat her cunt on the sidewalk right now.

( Door closes )

It's mash-ups.

( Door opens, closes )

Adam:
Hey. Hey!

Come with me, kid.

A... Adam.

- ( Distant siren blaring )
- This is like when my parents woke me up during a tornado.

Adam:
Just a little farther.

Adam, I'm tired and I don't
know where we're going.

- Adam: Sorry I yelled at that car.
- What?

I wish I could apologize,
but I don't know the driver,

So I guess I'm just gonna have
to feel bad about it forever

unless he drives by again.

( Hannah laughing )

Jesus.

I'm gonna do that fucking play.

You are?

Yeah. I'm gonna do it
so you can watch it.

Oh, my God.

All right, would you
help me with this?

How do I help you?

Um, here.

Spread 'em.

What are you doing?

Hannah: Oh, my God.
( Grunts )

- Adam: All right, help me grab these.
- Okay, got it.

Hannah:
Oh, my God, okay.

Adam:
All right, wet it down.

Got it.

Wait.
Get a little closer.

- Okay.
- There's bird shit on my head.

- Paper.
- ( Laughs ) Okay.

- Hannah: This is a ridiculous project.
- Fuck. Harder.

- You're a ridiculous person. You're a ridiculous person.
- Scrape it harder.

All right, let's go fuck.

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