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subtitle by peritta
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A couple hockey players come up to
the produce stand the other day...
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Bye!
4
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Can't believe your sister's
still dating these nut sacks.
5
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- Wayne.
- How're you now?
6
00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:28,399
- Good and you?
- Not so bad.
7
00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:30,400
- Hi, Katy.
- Go home, Daryl.
8
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Nice onesie. Does it come in men's?
9
00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:36,599
Oh, I think you cum in
men enough for all of us.
10
00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:38,400
I think you better come in my...
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I mean, you better come...
12
00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:42,999
I think you better come say that
to his face, you fucking hicks!
13
00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:44,999
- Nice execution.
- You're doin' terrific.
14
00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:46,952
Hey, I heard about your break-up, buddy.
15
00:00:46,953 --> 00:00:48,799
She was your sweetie
for five years, right?
16
00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:50,599
Your high school sweetie, right?
17
00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:52,599
- What's it to ya?
- Heard she cheated on you, buddy.
18
00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:54,199
That's a real kick in the knackers, bro.
19
00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:55,599
Just a real ouchie, bro.
20
00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:57,599
It's too bad she taught you
not to fight anymore, buddy.
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'Cause that's a fight on sight
for you and her new guy, buddy.
22
00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:01,276
Fourth line for life, bro.
23
00:01:01,278 --> 00:01:04,599
Maybe, if you'd ever been in a real fight,
you might not be so keen for another.
24
00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:06,199
What did you say?
25
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You heard me.
26
00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:09,199
Hold my spitter.
27
00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:11,599
Darts off, boys.
28
00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:12,945
You looking for a tilly, buddy?
29
00:01:12,946 --> 00:01:14,936
- Let's have a donnybrook.
- Pump the brakes.
30
00:01:14,937 --> 00:01:16,799
You take your shirt off,
but leave your sunglasses on?
31
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What sort of backwards
fuckin' pageantry is that?
32
00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:21,446
Do you want to fight with those
shades or play pokerstars.com?
33
00:01:21,524 --> 00:01:22,599
Hold my spitter.
34
00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:24,599
Dude, I can't hold your spitter.
You're holding my spitter.
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00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:26,600
- Just put the spitters down.
- Tick-tock.
36
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- Go time!
- Go time!
37
00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:34,399
Look at that fuckin' treasure trail.
38
00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:36,599
What's up with your fuckin'
body hair, big shoots.
39
00:01:36,600 --> 00:01:38,599
You look like a 12-year-old Dutch girl.
40
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Your aesthetician quaff that for you?
41
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:41,799
You can kiss my ass-thetician.
42
00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:44,399
- You guys do cross fit?
- You can cross-fuck-off.
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00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:46,799
Cross fart. How many times you
pulled your horn today, bud?
44
00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:48,199
- What?
- Oh, she's bashful.
45
00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:50,600
Oh, come on, kitten.
I won't tell anyone.
46
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Ball park six to eight?
47
00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:54,199
- You're a fucking animal.
- Play a little five on one.
48
00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:55,999
- Hit the kitchen, mix a batch.
- Feed the ducks.
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00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:57,799
Distribute some free literature.
50
00:01:57,800 --> 00:01:58,999
Go time!
51
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Fuckin'... Shed 'em!
52
00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:04,200
Riley! Jonesy! Put your fuckin'
shirts on! Get outta here!
53
00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:07,599
- This isn't over!
- Jinx. You owe me a Coke.
54
00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:09,600
Never buy you a Coke.
55
00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:17,199
It's a hard life pickin'
stones and pullin' teats
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00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:21,002
but sure as God's got sandals it beats
fightin' dudes with treasure trails.
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00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:33,399
Hi, Katy.
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00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:34,999
We're out of yogurt.
59
00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:36,599
I brought some from home.
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So why didn't you stay there and eat it.
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00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:40,600
- Mornin' Dary.
- Mornin'.
62
00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:44,123
- Thank you.
- Welcome.
63
00:02:44,125 --> 00:02:45,799
So, you talked to Angie yet?
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00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:48,199
It's been almost a month now. Think
you need to get back on the horse.
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She stepped out on you. Can't go
back to that and get any respect.
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00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:52,399
Not in Letterkenny.
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00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:53,799
Wayne, Angie did you a lot of good.
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Somewhere along the
way you kinda got soft.
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00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:56,999
You're not even fighting anymore.
70
00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,909
- You know what you need?
- Sex. With a girl.
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00:02:58,911 --> 00:03:00,969
Not just any girl. A
good Christian girl.
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00:03:00,971 --> 00:03:02,025
I think I can help you.
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00:03:02,027 --> 00:03:04,088
I've been going to the Burning
Bush Youth Group every Sunday.
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00:03:04,291 --> 00:03:05,399
I think you should come with me.
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00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:06,999
I think you should just eat your yogurt.
76
00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:08,199
There's millions of
starving kids in the world.
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Yeah? Name ten.
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00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:22,199
You need a distraction.
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00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:24,600
Something fun. Look at this.
80
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It's called Tinder.
81
00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:31,799
Look, see there's all these
girls and if you don't like one,
82
00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:33,599
you just say nope and
move onto the next.
83
00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:36,999
But if you do like one, then
you can see how close they are
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00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:38,799
and I don't know, maybe meet up
85
00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:40,104
or whatever.
86
00:03:40,106 --> 00:03:43,400
So if you like 'em you just type 'em
out a message or what's the scoop?
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00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:47,000
Yeah. You just, you know,
say something like...
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00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:53,400
Like, "On a scale of one to
America, how free are you right now?"
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00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:59,800
Oh, Jesus! Look at these nut sacks.
90
00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:01,999
Why do you hate them so much?
91
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:04,999
'Cause hockey players would grab
a monkey by the tit if they could.
92
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:07,399
Smokes are for jokes, bud!
93
00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:08,999
Put it out before it puts you out, bud!
94
00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:11,200
Trash the ash, pal!
95
00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:17,199
Ouch! Put it out! Put it out!
96
00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:19,600
Put it out! Put it out!
97
00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:22,399
Tell the fish hook story, Dan.
98
00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:24,399
It's really more of a Wayne story.
99
00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:25,599
Yeah, but he won't tell it.
100
00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:27,599
Oh, you've heard it
a baker's dozen times.
101
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:28,999
Tell the story or he won't shut up.
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00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:30,799
Is there anymore trail mix?
103
00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:31,799
It's in the house.
104
00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:33,999
Yous makes the most
delicious trail mix, Katy,
105
00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:36,999
and I got to say that's
what I appreciates about you.
106
00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:38,799
Is that what you appreciate about me?
107
00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:40,399
Pitter-patter, squirrely Dan.
108
00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:42,599
So, as the story goes,
109
00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:44,999
Wayne hucks an egg at a
truck with a Confederate flag
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in the back windshield
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00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:47,799
and the driver's fumin' pissed.
112
00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:50,799
So, we flee the scene goin' full
tilt like a Peterbilt, right?
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00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:54,199
Now, The Federales catch up to us
and chase us through a few backyards
114
00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:56,399
before we scamper up into some trees
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00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:59,399
and all Wayne's got on is a
pair of cut-off jean shorts
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00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:02,599
so he ain't exactly super jazzed
about the situation, was you Wayne?
117
00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:04,399
Oh, I'm no DJ Jazzy Jeff.
118
00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:05,999
The Federale pulls out his Taser,
119
00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:10,399
and he points it up at Wayne and says
some real Clint Eastwood-sounding shit.
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00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:11,999
He says to Wayne, he says,
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00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:15,799
"If I'd known I was going to run
into some uptown street toughs today,
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00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:17,542
"I'd have done up my top button."
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00:05:17,544 --> 00:05:19,599
That's from a John Wayne motion picture.
124
00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:20,799
No, Cool Hand Luke.
125
00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:22,799
Pert near anything
Kevin Costner, really.
126
00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:26,399
Either way, I's impressed and
I'd let out an audible gasp
127
00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:30,599
so he hears me, spins around, aims
the Taser up at me and lets fire,
128
00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:33,125
and if that thing doesn't
latch onto my nipple ring,
129
00:05:33,127 --> 00:05:35,399
which I'm pretty sure
amplified the electric current,
130
00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:37,199
he sent coursing through my entire body.
131
00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:39,599
And they just walked over and
yanked that thing out of my nipple
132
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like it was a goddamn fish hook.
133
00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:42,999
At least that's according to my cousin.
134
00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:44,599
Well, you know, my second cousin.
135
00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:46,399
- Who, Garrett?
- No, Jarrett.
136
00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:47,999
- Huh...
- I cried.
137
00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:49,799
I'm not even ashamed to admit that.
138
00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:53,399
That was well brought
up. Too bad you weren't.
139
00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:55,200
I should say.
140
00:05:55,400 --> 00:05:56,999
Thirsty Thursdays, boys.
141
00:05:57,000 --> 00:06:00,000
Might as well get balls deep in
a bottle of Gus'n Bru tonight.
142
00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:03,999
It's a four leaf clover. Make a wish.
143
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:06,199
Wish you weren't so
fucking awkward, bud.
144
00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:12,199
Is Angie working?
145
00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:14,200
Better have a peek-see, Wayne.
146
00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:20,799
- How are yous?
- Not too bad.
147
00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:23,799
- Good. And you?
- Not too bad.
148
00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:26,199
Smells like someone's
in their barn clothes.
149
00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:27,215
It's Dary.
150
00:06:27,216 --> 00:06:28,979
Four shots of Gus'n Bru,
please and thank you,
151
00:06:28,981 --> 00:06:30,089
One for you, too, Gailor.
152
00:06:30,091 --> 00:06:32,399
Thank you, Wayne, but I'm off the sauce.
153
00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:34,799
Taking eight vitamins a day now.
154
00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:37,399
- What are you taking?
- I'm taking multi-vitamin,
155
00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:40,199
fish oil, vitamin C, vitamin D,
156
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:43,399
two vitamin B complexes
and two Cold-FX's.
157
00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:44,776
Yeah, but 'cept how many darts though?
158
00:06:44,778 --> 00:06:45,862
Twenty, 25 darts.
159
00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:46,918
Oh, you got 'er down then?
160
00:06:46,919 --> 00:06:48,752
Last I seen ya, you were on
a pack and half of smokes.
161
00:06:48,754 --> 00:06:50,399
Well, sometimes, I'll have
a pack and a half of smokes,
162
00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:51,907
but never more than two packs of smokes.
163
00:06:51,909 --> 00:06:52,939
Good enough.
164
00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:58,400
All right. Won't be rude.
165
00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:00,999
I'd hang a piss.
166
00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:02,399
Oh, fuck.
167
00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:05,200
I'm about to give birth
to a pound of fudge.
168
00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:11,312
Wayne.
169
00:07:11,314 --> 00:07:12,445
McMurray. How 're ya now?
170
00:07:12,447 --> 00:07:13,799
- Good 'n you?
- Not so bad.
171
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:16,999
Seen Angie, with her new
dude? What a fuckin' dandy.
172
00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:19,999
Yeah. He's got
fugazi-diamonds in both ears
173
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:21,399
and leprechaun buckles on his shoes.
174
00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:24,199
Running a fuckin' Dippity-Doo
convention upstairs for a salad.
175
00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:27,599
Driving a '94 Jeep YJ with
a wave decal on the side.
176
00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:29,599
Enough cologne to offend
a Bangkok lady boy.
177
00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:30,600
Good enough.
178
00:07:30,624 --> 00:07:32,222
Don't you wanna hear the best part?
179
00:07:32,384 --> 00:07:33,751
You're gonna wanna hear the best part.
180
00:07:34,100 --> 00:07:34,832
Okay.
181
00:07:35,122 --> 00:07:36,342
He went full Bieber eyes.
182
00:07:36,961 --> 00:07:37,690
What?
183
00:07:37,906 --> 00:07:38,927
Bieber eyes.
184
00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:41,543
Wayne
185
00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:44,380
Wayne
186
00:07:44,832 --> 00:07:45,832
Wayne, look!
187
00:07:45,957 --> 00:07:47,017
It's inappropriate McMurray.
188
00:07:47,414 --> 00:07:49,264
Wayne, just look for fuck's sakes!
189
00:07:49,322 --> 00:07:50,792
Just fucking look, Wayne!
190
00:07:53,504 --> 00:07:54,347
Full Bieber eyes.
191
00:07:54,771 --> 00:07:55,261
Well what's that?
192
00:07:56,147 --> 00:07:57,660
Bieber, the...the...the pop star.
193
00:07:58,332 --> 00:07:59,608
I'm not familiar with his work.
194
00:08:04,587 --> 00:08:07,786
This must be where
the dicks hang out, eh?
195
00:08:07,787 --> 00:08:09,186
Our dicks hang out.
196
00:08:09,187 --> 00:08:10,986
Yours is like a
mushroom in a corn field.
197
00:08:10,987 --> 00:08:12,987
Mind your fuckin' business, Alexander.
198
00:08:14,587 --> 00:08:17,786
Seen Angie with her new
dude? What a fuckin' dandy.
199
00:08:17,787 --> 00:08:19,586
Eyes on your own work
there, super chief.
200
00:08:26,787 --> 00:08:29,586
Thank Christ, Wayne,
I'm pushing clobs here.
201
00:08:29,587 --> 00:08:32,986
Get outta the way, I'm growing a tail.
202
00:08:32,987 --> 00:08:35,586
Wayne, I would like to cordially invite
you to the Burning Bush Youth Group
203
00:08:35,587 --> 00:08:37,497
this Sunday, for an
evening of song and praise.
204
00:08:37,499 --> 00:08:38,568
Hard no.
205
00:08:38,569 --> 00:08:40,569
My sweetie, Margaret,
is a first class gal.
206
00:08:40,818 --> 00:08:42,099
She's got some friend
she introduce you to.
207
00:08:42,532 --> 00:08:45,190
Margaret? Sounds like a
bitty ol' blue hair.
208
00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:45,770
She's not.
209
00:08:45,976 --> 00:08:48,956
She's a very focused young woman
on the path to eternity with Christ.
210
00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:51,408
And which part of that appeals to you?
211
00:08:53,431 --> 00:08:54,472
I like singing the songs.
212
00:08:54,773 --> 00:08:56,059
Sort yourself out.
213
00:08:58,717 --> 00:09:00,116
You're a pervert, Daryl.
214
00:09:00,117 --> 00:09:02,716
Jesus, your breath could
stop a Mack truck right now.
215
00:09:02,717 --> 00:09:04,317
All right, cool it.
216
00:09:04,917 --> 00:09:07,316
What say, we go for a
quick ice run, Wayne?
217
00:09:07,317 --> 00:09:09,916
I'm pushing up on you for years now.
218
00:09:09,917 --> 00:09:12,716
What's say you give old
Gailor one for the scrapbook?
219
00:09:12,717 --> 00:09:14,317
Huh?
220
00:09:20,117 --> 00:09:21,716
I'll do the Youth Group.
221
00:09:21,717 --> 00:09:23,116
All right.
222
00:09:23,117 --> 00:09:25,916
Gail, looks like the
John's allergic to fudge.
223
00:09:25,917 --> 00:09:28,116
Bring the plunger, we may
have to break this one up.
224
00:09:28,117 --> 00:09:30,716
Told you to flush as you go. Fuck.
225
00:10:00,318 --> 00:10:03,117
Hi, Daryl. Christ be with you.
226
00:10:03,118 --> 00:10:04,717
Margaret.
227
00:10:04,718 --> 00:10:06,517
- And you must be Wayne.
- Mmm-hmm.
228
00:10:06,518 --> 00:10:09,117
- Christ be with you, Wayne.
- Hello.
229
00:10:09,118 --> 00:10:10,317
How are yous?
230
00:10:10,318 --> 00:10:11,917
- Oh, not s'bad.
- Good 'n you?
231
00:10:11,918 --> 00:10:13,718
Perfect.
232
00:10:14,243 --> 00:10:16,118
You made a good choice
coming here, tonight.
233
00:10:16,298 --> 00:10:17,498
Yeah? Why is that?
234
00:10:19,392 --> 00:10:22,316
Hold your finger here
for as long as you can.
235
00:10:22,677 --> 00:10:24,077
What for...
236
00:10:28,318 --> 00:10:30,317
- All right.
- Now imagine,
237
00:10:30,318 --> 00:10:32,917
your soul engulfed in
that for all of eternity.
238
00:10:32,918 --> 00:10:34,518
Okay.
239
00:10:38,318 --> 00:10:39,917
God is good.
240
00:10:39,918 --> 00:10:41,718
That's how they get you.
241
00:10:42,718 --> 00:10:44,917
Wayne's been going through
a bit of a rough break up,
242
00:10:44,918 --> 00:10:46,717
and I thought a night at the
Burning Bush might help him out.
243
00:10:46,718 --> 00:10:49,518
Plus, it's better than
spending all his time on Tinder.
244
00:10:50,118 --> 00:10:51,180
Tinder?
245
00:10:52,118 --> 00:10:54,317
Did you know that it was
originally called Grindr
246
00:10:54,318 --> 00:10:56,918
and that it was made for gay
men to sodomize each other?
247
00:10:58,318 --> 00:11:00,717
- No.
- Yeah.
248
00:11:00,718 --> 00:11:02,518
Good way to get a finger in your bum.
249
00:11:03,118 --> 00:11:04,918
Or a tongue in your bum.
250
00:11:05,318 --> 00:11:07,318
Do you know what Dick Dingers are?
251
00:11:08,318 --> 00:11:09,717
No.
252
00:11:09,718 --> 00:11:12,317
It's when they snort drugs off
of each other's erect penises.
253
00:11:12,318 --> 00:11:14,117
That have just been in bums.
254
00:11:14,118 --> 00:11:17,717
Oh, my gourd! Look at this turnout.
255
00:11:17,718 --> 00:11:18,773
Hi, everybody.
256
00:11:20,718 --> 00:11:22,717
Quick question for all y'all.
257
00:11:22,718 --> 00:11:24,136
How good is God?
258
00:11:26,918 --> 00:11:29,917
I know, I know, I love
him. He's the best.
259
00:11:29,918 --> 00:11:33,317
Second question, has anyone seen...
260
00:11:33,318 --> 00:11:35,517
Where is my beautiful
girlfriend, Virginia?
261
00:11:35,518 --> 00:11:37,117
Ginny, where are you?
262
00:11:37,118 --> 00:11:39,117
There she is, Ginny, come
on up here. Come up, Ginny.
263
00:11:39,118 --> 00:11:42,517
Oh, ugh, Ginny.
264
00:11:42,518 --> 00:11:44,517
Ginny, Ginny, Ginny. Hmm.
265
00:11:44,518 --> 00:11:47,917
I still remember, like it was yesterday,
266
00:11:47,918 --> 00:11:50,317
the day that the Lord gave you to me.
267
00:11:50,318 --> 00:11:52,517
And he said, "Glen,
268
00:11:52,518 --> 00:11:56,317
"this is your blank canvas, it is pale.
269
00:11:56,318 --> 00:11:58,917
"It is colorless, it is
almost cardboard-like.
270
00:11:58,918 --> 00:12:00,517
"I want you
271
00:12:00,518 --> 00:12:03,317
"to give it life, to give it color."
272
00:12:03,318 --> 00:12:04,517
And so I said to the Lord,
273
00:12:04,518 --> 00:12:07,318
"I will give it everything, everything.
274
00:12:07,718 --> 00:12:09,317
"Except for one thing."
275
00:12:09,318 --> 00:12:12,317
What was that question? Uh, hmm?
276
00:12:12,318 --> 00:12:13,917
Vaginal intercourse!
277
00:12:17,518 --> 00:12:18,717
Guess what, boys and girls?
278
00:12:18,718 --> 00:12:22,117
You're in for somethin' special,
'cause we got The Salty Treats.
279
00:12:31,718 --> 00:12:34,317
What the actual fuck is this place?
280
00:12:34,318 --> 00:12:36,317
Why can't you just enjoy yourself?
281
00:12:36,318 --> 00:12:37,717
It's 'cause I get
onto this Tinder thing,
282
00:12:37,718 --> 00:12:40,517
and now they tell me
it's for finding dudes.
283
00:12:40,518 --> 00:12:42,717
But that's some bullshit, right?
284
00:12:42,718 --> 00:12:44,517
- I don't know.
- You want some strawberry lemonade?
285
00:12:44,518 --> 00:12:47,917
I haven't seen this sort of fuckin'
bedlam since we fired Roman Candles
286
00:12:47,918 --> 00:12:51,517
at coyotes that night and caught
one right in the butt hole, fuck.
287
00:12:51,518 --> 00:12:54,517
Ran up the back porch, dropped seven
shades of shit in Dad's work boots.
288
00:12:54,518 --> 00:12:56,317
Could have been a wolf.
There's wolf's in the back bush.
289
00:12:56,318 --> 00:12:57,717
There's for sure mooses.
290
00:12:57,718 --> 00:12:59,918
- Have a dart.
- Yeah, I'd have a dart.
291
00:13:12,718 --> 00:13:14,718
Oh, fuckin' Grindr.
292
00:13:15,118 --> 00:13:16,317
Grindr?
293
00:13:16,318 --> 00:13:18,517
- Grindr.
- What?
294
00:13:18,518 --> 00:13:19,717
Pray tell, what are you
doing on Grindr, Wayne?
295
00:13:19,718 --> 00:13:22,717
What are you skids doing out of
your parents' basement, Stewart?
296
00:13:22,718 --> 00:13:24,117
The gang and I have been
doing hip-hop karaoke
297
00:13:24,118 --> 00:13:25,917
for the better part of 48
hours. Out on the decks.
298
00:13:25,918 --> 00:13:27,717
- Ones and twos.
- The entire 48.
299
00:13:27,718 --> 00:13:29,117
Subsequently spittin' hot fire.
300
00:13:29,118 --> 00:13:30,917
Playing Mega-Man and Final
Fantasy on original NES.
301
00:13:30,918 --> 00:13:32,117
Pokemon Gold, on GameBoy Color.
302
00:13:32,118 --> 00:13:33,917
- Gotta catch 'em all.
- Bulbasaur, Ivysaur, Venusaur,
303
00:13:33,918 --> 00:13:35,421
Charmeleon, Charizard,
fuckin' Charmander.
304
00:13:35,423 --> 00:13:37,117
Fuckin' Charmander.
305
00:13:37,118 --> 00:13:39,567
Time to take about 20% off
on the meth intake, boys
306
00:13:40,664 --> 00:13:41,930
You ever play Dr. Mario on the Super NES?
307
00:13:42,940 --> 00:13:44,516
Game's full of subliminal messages.
308
00:13:44,858 --> 00:13:45,955
Andreas Thompson would
have had a field day.
309
00:13:48,699 --> 00:13:50,786
Oh yeah, Chuck Bickowski,
there's a better one Stewart.
310
00:13:50,998 --> 00:13:52,291
You ever play Landmine original Sega G?
311
00:13:52,356 --> 00:13:53,659
Goth. ET. Sega!!!
312
00:13:53,813 --> 00:13:55,612
Lion King was far ahead of its time.
313
00:13:55,613 --> 00:13:57,412
Makes you think far beyond your years.
314
00:13:57,413 --> 00:13:58,812
Disney games prevail!
315
00:13:58,813 --> 00:14:00,412
You got any weed?
316
00:14:00,413 --> 00:14:03,351
I always regret coming to the
surface with you, day-walking hicks.
317
00:14:03,353 --> 00:14:05,132
The minutiae of your world.
318
00:14:05,134 --> 00:14:08,012
My basement resembles an
island Xanadu, in comparison.
319
00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:09,212
- Okay.
- Ah, but some quick math
320
00:14:09,213 --> 00:14:11,412
tells me this time, however,
321
00:14:11,413 --> 00:14:14,612
you've been so agonized by a woman
you're now seeking the company of men.
322
00:14:15,813 --> 00:14:17,212
Oh, okay. We've all thought about it.
323
00:14:17,213 --> 00:14:19,212
Well, good on you for doubling down.
324
00:14:19,213 --> 00:14:22,012
Although, I didn't peg you
for a pipe fitter, Wayne.
325
00:14:22,013 --> 00:14:23,135
Pegged!
326
00:14:23,136 --> 00:14:25,314
Five years with Andie, we figured
you were a concrete clam slammer.
327
00:14:25,316 --> 00:14:27,412
Why drink from the furry cup when
the garden hose is right there?
328
00:14:27,413 --> 00:14:28,612
Who knew he liked the
chutney ferret, eh fellas?
329
00:14:30,813 --> 00:14:32,212
Fuckin' what?
330
00:14:32,213 --> 00:14:33,315
- Knob jockey.
- Back door bandit.
331
00:14:33,317 --> 00:14:35,160
I'm gay, but donut puncher!
332
00:14:36,413 --> 00:14:38,612
- Just gimme my phone.
- Oh, yeah, sure thing.
333
00:14:38,613 --> 00:14:40,012
- Oklahomo.
- Rear admiral.
334
00:14:40,013 --> 00:14:42,012
- Uphill gardener.
- Bum bumper.
335
00:14:42,013 --> 00:14:43,812
This is awkward for me, you guys.
336
00:14:43,813 --> 00:14:45,212
Hey, it's okay.
337
00:14:45,213 --> 00:14:47,812
We know, and we support you.
338
00:14:47,813 --> 00:14:49,812
All right. Donald Trump of rump!
339
00:14:53,813 --> 00:14:55,316
- Phone.
- Okay.
340
00:14:55,318 --> 00:14:57,917
But only because you have this weird...
341
00:14:59,213 --> 00:15:01,012
- Menergy...
- Menergy!
342
00:15:01,013 --> 00:15:04,213
- About you.
- Sorry.
343
00:15:06,813 --> 00:15:09,012
That's a great name for a spa.
344
00:15:21,813 --> 00:15:24,813
Oh, stop it. You know
I love ripping didge.
345
00:15:50,413 --> 00:15:53,412
If you don't change your attitude
you're gonna lose out on all the girls.
346
00:15:53,413 --> 00:15:56,212
Like the 12-year-olds
or the 13-year-olds?
347
00:15:56,213 --> 00:15:59,013
Well, have you noticed all
the well-groomed dudes here?
348
00:16:00,013 --> 00:16:01,412
You missed the best part.
349
00:16:01,413 --> 00:16:04,412
Glen just did his didgeridoo solo.
350
00:16:04,413 --> 00:16:06,412
Well, that's pretty much it.
351
00:16:06,413 --> 00:16:07,812
You guys wanna get some milk shakes?
352
00:16:07,813 --> 00:16:10,213
- I think Modeans is open.
- Boy, howdy.
353
00:16:10,687 --> 00:16:12,286
Well, well, well...
354
00:16:12,288 --> 00:16:15,687
Daryl, girl, Wayne.
355
00:16:15,813 --> 00:16:19,012
Bit surprised to see you
here, I'm being honest.
356
00:16:19,013 --> 00:16:22,213
Didn't realize you were
big fan of the didge.
357
00:16:23,613 --> 00:16:26,413
Aw. More of a didgere-don't?
358
00:16:37,413 --> 00:16:39,212
What do you do with the fertile, Wayne?
359
00:16:39,213 --> 00:16:41,612
Didn't I just catch you cruisin' Grindr?
360
00:16:41,613 --> 00:16:42,885
Come again?
361
00:16:42,887 --> 00:16:44,612
Hey, shouldn't you boys be
watching Friday Night Lights
362
00:16:44,613 --> 00:16:46,012
with a gym sock on your joy stick?
363
00:16:46,013 --> 00:16:47,612
Chirp Tim Riggins. I fuckin' dare you.
364
00:16:47,613 --> 00:16:49,812
Mix in a little One Tree Hill
and maybe some Gossip Girl.
365
00:16:49,813 --> 00:16:52,212
But I think we've got bigger
fish to fry right here.
366
00:16:52,213 --> 00:16:55,216
Looking for love over the
rainbow now, are we Dorothy?
367
00:16:55,218 --> 00:16:56,416
I hate you,
368
00:16:56,613 --> 00:16:58,812
but can confirm deer season's over.
369
00:16:58,813 --> 00:17:00,412
He's hunting bear now.
370
00:17:01,613 --> 00:17:05,212
I fuckin' hate you too.
However, fuckin' hate him more.
371
00:17:05,213 --> 00:17:07,213
And I just found out he's ambidextrous.
372
00:17:07,252 --> 00:17:08,812
What are they talking about, Wayne?
373
00:17:08,813 --> 00:17:10,012
He likes dicks now.
374
00:17:10,013 --> 00:17:11,412
In his bum. Or his mouth.
375
00:17:11,413 --> 00:17:12,612
All over.
376
00:17:12,613 --> 00:17:14,412
Oh, my God. That's
Angie's new boyfriend?
377
00:17:14,413 --> 00:17:16,213
Oh, that's that city boy.
378
00:17:20,614 --> 00:17:22,011
What a skirt.
379
00:17:22,013 --> 00:17:24,013
What a shit.
380
00:17:28,413 --> 00:17:30,812
Fuck, Lemony Snicket, what a
series of unfortunate events
381
00:17:30,813 --> 00:17:32,812
you fuckin' been through, you ugly fuck.
382
00:17:32,813 --> 00:17:34,390
Boulevard of Broken Dreams.
383
00:17:34,392 --> 00:17:37,412
- Fuck you, Stewart.
- Hey, fuck you...
384
00:17:37,413 --> 00:17:39,413
Yeah, fuck yourself.
385
00:18:00,125 --> 00:18:02,525
You must be having a fun night.
386
00:18:03,413 --> 00:18:05,324
"Ur bro is gay.
387
00:18:05,326 --> 00:18:08,726
"LMFAO." In all caps, from Riley.
388
00:18:11,013 --> 00:18:14,212
Wayne? You remember when you were 19,
389
00:18:14,213 --> 00:18:18,012
those worm pickers kept coming in
the night and trampling on our beans?
390
00:18:18,013 --> 00:18:19,517
What did you do?
391
00:18:19,519 --> 00:18:21,917
Dug six foot holes,
put a skunk in each one
392
00:18:21,919 --> 00:18:23,918
and waited for them to fall in.
393
00:18:23,920 --> 00:18:27,715
Remember when the skids egged
Daryl on his bike? What did you do?
394
00:18:28,088 --> 00:18:31,888
Put some stink bombs in a Nerf gun
and fired it at them on prom night.
395
00:18:33,013 --> 00:18:35,412
Remember when you came in from
chorin' and found those messages
396
00:18:35,413 --> 00:18:37,628
on my computer from a
guy cal ling me a slut?
397
00:18:37,630 --> 00:18:39,812
I wanted a piece of
that guy for a long time.
398
00:18:39,813 --> 00:18:43,613
You drove over to his house and
broke his nose on his front lawn.
399
00:18:46,013 --> 00:18:48,612
You know, I miss that Wayne.
400
00:18:48,613 --> 00:18:49,754
I think a lot of people do.
401
00:18:49,756 --> 00:18:51,556
It's for the better.
402
00:19:14,813 --> 00:19:17,813
This is Sparta!
403
00:19:26,813 --> 00:19:28,321
Ow! Fuck!
404
00:19:29,113 --> 00:19:30,243
What the hell are you doing?
405
00:19:30,245 --> 00:19:32,268
I'd ask you the same
thing, you fuckin' tit.
406
00:19:32,270 --> 00:19:35,612
I'm taping an idiot. I'm not sneaking
up on dudes and starting fights.
407
00:19:35,613 --> 00:19:37,412
I'm not fightin' ya. I'm smackin' ya.
408
00:19:37,413 --> 00:19:40,737
Oh, that's right. You
don't fight anymore, do you?
409
00:19:40,739 --> 00:19:43,970
I figured I'd have one on deck
for sure after I stole your girl.
410
00:19:46,088 --> 00:19:47,887
Nothin', eh?
411
00:19:47,889 --> 00:19:49,525
No move?
412
00:19:49,527 --> 00:19:51,726
She must've trained you well.
413
00:19:51,728 --> 00:19:54,527
So what's it gonna take to get
you back on the horse there, champ?
414
00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:57,880
Do I go inside and spread Angie right
out on the bar when she gets here?
415
00:19:58,613 --> 00:20:01,613
I've fucked your girl more
times than you've had a hot meal.
416
00:20:02,518 --> 00:20:04,318
Maybe your sister wants to join us.
417
00:20:05,013 --> 00:20:07,171
It's Katy, right? Shit.
418
00:20:07,173 --> 00:20:08,971
Why don't I go over
there and ask her myself?
419
00:20:19,272 --> 00:20:21,272
Pull your pants up, Alexander.
420
00:20:28,013 --> 00:20:30,013
You've come this far.
421
00:21:10,154 --> 00:21:12,554
Welcome to fuckin' Letterkenny.
422
00:21:39,519 --> 00:21:41,319
Good to have you back, big brother.
423
00:21:42,413 --> 00:21:44,412
- Hi, Katy
- KATY: Go home, Daryl.
424
00:21:49,013 --> 00:21:51,017
- Bye, Wayne. Have a good one bro.
- Bye, Wayne.
425
00:21:51,019 --> 00:21:52,619
See you later, buddy.
426
00:21:52,620 --> 00:21:54,620
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