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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:34,283 --> 00:01:37,980 - Hey, what's going on? - What are you doing in my car? 2 00:01:38,054 --> 00:01:40,488 Shit! Where are we going? 3 00:01:40,556 --> 00:01:42,820 - How did you get in my car? - What? 4 00:01:42,892 --> 00:01:45,258 You said I could sleep here. 5 00:01:45,328 --> 00:01:47,853 - You said it was comfortable too. - No! 6 00:01:47,930 --> 00:01:50,296 - You didn't say that? - No. Get out. 7 00:01:50,366 --> 00:01:54,166 - This is crap. Come on! - Get out. I'm late. 8 00:01:54,237 --> 00:01:57,070 Stop pulling. You're hurting me. 9 00:01:57,139 --> 00:01:59,437 You know what you could do? Eat it! 10 00:01:59,508 --> 00:02:01,738 - You lied, man. - Yeah, yeah. 11 00:02:01,811 --> 00:02:04,075 - That's great. - F you, pal. 12 00:02:04,146 --> 00:02:06,637 F you, buddy! 13 00:02:25,134 --> 00:02:26,761 Hey! Hey! 14 00:02:26,836 --> 00:02:28,861 I'm looking for Cheerful Place. 15 00:02:33,276 --> 00:02:35,870 - What are you looking for? - Cheerful Place. 16 00:02:35,945 --> 00:02:37,435 Isn't it right there? 17 00:02:42,318 --> 00:02:43,580 Jesus, no. 18 00:02:43,653 --> 00:02:45,951 Christ Almighty. 19 00:02:46,022 --> 00:02:47,284 Oh, fuck. 20 00:03:02,605 --> 00:03:06,268 Don't worry, kids. Flappy's here! 21 00:03:08,411 --> 00:03:10,743 Hurry up, we're gonna miss it. 22 00:03:10,813 --> 00:03:12,678 I'm trying! 23 00:03:15,718 --> 00:03:17,913 Get the hell off of me! 24 00:03:17,987 --> 00:03:20,979 There's no reason for all this. We can handle this ourselves. 25 00:03:21,057 --> 00:03:23,218 It was an accident. 26 00:03:23,292 --> 00:03:25,123 It's a goddamn misunderstanding. 27 00:03:25,194 --> 00:03:29,062 Jill, would you tell them we can handle this ourselves? 28 00:03:29,131 --> 00:03:32,191 What the fuck are you looking at? 29 00:03:32,268 --> 00:03:35,328 It's your call. You give me the say-so, he's gone. 30 00:03:35,404 --> 00:03:37,668 Excuse me! Perhaps you didn't hear me. 31 00:03:37,740 --> 00:03:41,471 For Christ's sakes, Jill, open up your mouth! 32 00:03:47,316 --> 00:03:49,784 - Could you take him away? - What?! 33 00:03:49,852 --> 00:03:53,049 - Get up! - Just for a while, Travis. 34 00:03:53,122 --> 00:03:57,456 - Just until you cool down. - You coerced her into saying that! 35 00:03:57,526 --> 00:04:00,893 - Simmer down, shitbag! - Fine. Come on, you bitch! 36 00:04:00,963 --> 00:04:04,831 - Stop! - Take him away already! 37 00:04:04,900 --> 00:04:06,094 Come on. 38 00:04:10,272 --> 00:04:12,365 Come on, get in there. 39 00:04:12,441 --> 00:04:14,204 Get in there. 40 00:04:14,276 --> 00:04:15,607 Mrs. Lee? 41 00:04:17,313 --> 00:04:19,975 - I'm so sorry. - Oh, no. Don't be. 42 00:04:20,049 --> 00:04:21,880 If you can wait, I'll get you your money. 43 00:04:21,951 --> 00:04:24,749 - Is he giving you a hard time? - No. 44 00:04:24,820 --> 00:04:28,312 - Not at all. - Call me if you need anything. 45 00:04:30,426 --> 00:04:32,553 - The money... - No. Don't. 46 00:04:32,628 --> 00:04:36,462 I understand. You won't be too old for a clown next year. 47 00:04:36,532 --> 00:04:39,330 - Will I, Mommy? - No. 48 00:04:40,436 --> 00:04:43,200 There it is, then. Same time next year, Mom? 49 00:04:43,272 --> 00:04:46,207 - Sure. Thank you, Mr... - Flappy. 50 00:04:46,275 --> 00:04:48,436 It's the illusion. It's for the kids. 51 00:04:50,112 --> 00:04:51,807 I almost forgot. 52 00:04:51,881 --> 00:04:53,815 They would have taken away my clown license 53 00:04:53,883 --> 00:04:55,544 if I'd let this one slip by. 54 00:04:55,618 --> 00:04:57,609 - You wouldn't rat on me, though? - No. 55 00:04:57,686 --> 00:04:59,119 Here! 56 00:05:00,489 --> 00:05:02,889 And eat an extra piece of cake for Flappy. 57 00:05:02,958 --> 00:05:05,222 You need it more than I do. 58 00:05:16,539 --> 00:05:20,100 - Twice in one day, loser! - Fuck you, bastard! 59 00:05:37,593 --> 00:05:39,925 Free refill, please! 60 00:05:39,995 --> 00:05:42,088 Aren't you supposed to be at a gig today? 61 00:05:42,164 --> 00:05:45,691 Well, it was canceled at the zero hour. 62 00:05:45,768 --> 00:05:48,328 No wonder you are so damned testy. What happened? 63 00:05:48,404 --> 00:05:51,339 The abridged version goes something like this... 64 00:05:51,407 --> 00:05:53,500 will you cut it out?! 65 00:05:53,576 --> 00:05:56,340 Husband pounds wife. Wife screams. 66 00:05:56,412 --> 00:05:59,279 Neighbors call cops. Cops come, bust him. 67 00:05:59,348 --> 00:06:01,407 - The party's over. - Raw deal. 68 00:06:01,484 --> 00:06:03,748 You got the cash, though? 69 00:06:03,819 --> 00:06:06,253 She didn't pay you? Fuck that shit. 70 00:06:06,322 --> 00:06:08,415 Time is money, spousal abuse or not. 71 00:06:08,491 --> 00:06:11,051 I'd be in small claims court, if I were you. 72 00:06:11,126 --> 00:06:13,856 - Humanitarian to the last. - Nevermind her. 73 00:06:13,929 --> 00:06:15,590 I almost forgot the big news. 74 00:06:15,664 --> 00:06:18,827 - My grandmother kicked me out. - I've heard this before. 75 00:06:18,901 --> 00:06:20,391 She was pretty official about it this time. 76 00:06:20,469 --> 00:06:24,098 Her lawyer sent me a letter saying she doesn't want me around anymore 77 00:06:24,173 --> 00:06:27,802 because I don't pay bills or get up before 12:00. 78 00:06:27,877 --> 00:06:29,970 - Nice. - She can bite me anyway. 79 00:06:30,045 --> 00:06:32,775 I'll be flying solo soon. I got a job. 80 00:06:32,848 --> 00:06:33,940 Where? 81 00:06:34,016 --> 00:06:36,814 Tuott the Basehead hooked me up with Suds 'N' Stuff over the weekend. 82 00:06:36,886 --> 00:06:39,411 Watch yourself on that corporate ladder. 83 00:06:39,488 --> 00:06:42,218 Listen to this bull. Is that your limo outside? 84 00:06:42,291 --> 00:06:44,122 Driving around in that little shitbox. 85 00:06:44,193 --> 00:06:46,821 That shitbox totes your ass to and fro. 86 00:06:46,896 --> 00:06:51,196 You walk around with empty pockets like some poor-ass church mouse. 87 00:06:51,267 --> 00:06:53,895 You know you need the extra cash. Come work with me. 88 00:06:53,969 --> 00:06:56,199 - You get your own jumpsuit. - No, thanks. 89 00:06:56,272 --> 00:06:58,706 That's how it starts. Crappy job here, crappy job there, 90 00:06:58,774 --> 00:07:00,605 next thing you know, you're 70 years old, 91 00:07:00,676 --> 00:07:03,338 living on the dole wondering where your life went, 92 00:07:03,412 --> 00:07:06,347 and your best friend comes cable-ready with a remote. 93 00:07:06,415 --> 00:07:08,815 That's beneath even you. 94 00:07:09,885 --> 00:07:12,149 - What's up your ass? - Nothing. 95 00:07:12,221 --> 00:07:13,813 Shine bumpers if you want. 96 00:07:13,889 --> 00:07:16,050 Nobody's stopping you. I'm sure you'll do well. 97 00:07:16,125 --> 00:07:18,753 You're right. I should hinge my future on dancing around 98 00:07:18,827 --> 00:07:22,558 like a mongoloid on a bad acid trip for a bunch of spoiled dick-heads. 99 00:07:22,631 --> 00:07:24,997 - You think what I do is stupid? - All I'm saying 100 00:07:25,067 --> 00:07:28,093 is your life expectations as far as clowning is concerned 101 00:07:28,170 --> 00:07:31,071 are far-fetched, dare I say, totally unrealistic. 102 00:07:31,140 --> 00:07:34,268 It's what I want to do. And I believe things will work out, 103 00:07:34,343 --> 00:07:38,040 and one day I'll make a good living at it. Cliché, but humor me. 104 00:07:38,113 --> 00:07:40,138 How long did it take to build Rome? 105 00:07:40,215 --> 00:07:42,945 Your problem is, zero patience. 106 00:07:43,018 --> 00:07:47,011 I can see how the rise and fall of Rome parallel your existence. 107 00:07:47,089 --> 00:07:48,249 You're barely surviving. 108 00:07:48,324 --> 00:07:50,087 The money you make... sporadic at best. 109 00:07:50,159 --> 00:07:52,491 How much of your monthly take goes for that nursing home? 110 00:07:52,561 --> 00:07:56,190 $200. But I only pay half, 'cause Uncle Sam picks up the rest. 111 00:07:56,265 --> 00:07:58,028 - How much do you make? - It depends. 112 00:07:58,100 --> 00:08:00,660 I usually bring in... 113 00:08:00,736 --> 00:08:03,603 - maybe $500-$600. - So, in other words, four. 114 00:08:03,672 --> 00:08:06,038 How do you pay rent, car insurance and eat 115 00:08:06,108 --> 00:08:07,837 on 200 or 300 bucks a month? 116 00:08:07,910 --> 00:08:09,844 Mosier knocks a couple of bucks off 117 00:08:09,912 --> 00:08:12,346 if I mow the lawn or do some maintenance. 118 00:08:12,414 --> 00:08:16,248 Plus, to be honest, I don't exactly pay insurance on that shitbox, 119 00:08:16,318 --> 00:08:17,808 as you so fondly referred to it. 120 00:08:17,886 --> 00:08:22,050 I'm in a quandary about the resting home deal. 121 00:08:22,124 --> 00:08:24,115 Not for nothing, but your mom... 122 00:08:24,193 --> 00:08:26,058 - she's a bitch. - Hey! 123 00:08:26,128 --> 00:08:27,686 That's my mom! 124 00:08:27,763 --> 00:08:29,492 My mother had a hard life. 125 00:08:29,565 --> 00:08:31,362 Her mother died when she was three, 126 00:08:31,433 --> 00:08:33,628 and her father expected her to take on the wifely duties... 127 00:08:33,702 --> 00:08:36,432 - all of them. - I've heard this before. 128 00:08:36,505 --> 00:08:39,303 Why should you atone for his shortcomings? 129 00:08:39,375 --> 00:08:42,208 - Plus, you call her names all the time. - I know. 130 00:08:42,277 --> 00:08:45,804 But she's still my mom. And there's a difference between 131 00:08:45,881 --> 00:08:48,042 calling your mother a bitch and someone else saying it. 132 00:08:48,117 --> 00:08:51,780 Sorry. She's such a bitch. 133 00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:06,968 William, Sam Mosier. 134 00:09:07,036 --> 00:09:09,197 I don't want to be a nut-biter, 135 00:09:09,271 --> 00:09:11,603 but I'll need some money from you soon. 136 00:09:11,674 --> 00:09:13,938 There's just not that much grass to mow. 137 00:09:14,009 --> 00:09:15,203 Guess what, 138 00:09:15,277 --> 00:09:17,837 Mr. Flappy-the-Jerk-Off? Your message sucks! 139 00:09:17,913 --> 00:09:20,177 - Clowns suck too. - Tell him to eat shit. 140 00:09:22,084 --> 00:09:23,483 Pick up the phone! 141 00:09:23,552 --> 00:09:24,985 I know you're there! 142 00:09:25,054 --> 00:09:27,386 I want to thank you for being so goddamn worthless! 143 00:09:27,456 --> 00:09:29,788 They are asking me for the money you owe! 144 00:09:29,858 --> 00:09:32,383 They want to know why the rent hasn't been paid 145 00:09:32,461 --> 00:09:35,555 for this fucking cesspool you've thrown me in! 146 00:09:35,631 --> 00:09:38,327 Bring the money today! 147 00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:40,800 Now! 148 00:09:40,869 --> 00:09:42,962 You have no more messages. 149 00:09:45,274 --> 00:09:46,832 Do you mind? 150 00:09:46,909 --> 00:09:49,139 Rumor has it that backseat's comfortable. 151 00:09:49,211 --> 00:09:50,803 Get away! 152 00:09:50,879 --> 00:09:52,904 What is he, your boss? 153 00:09:52,981 --> 00:09:55,211 - Are you his bitch? - No! 154 00:10:01,223 --> 00:10:03,384 Who's ready for bingo? 155 00:10:03,459 --> 00:10:05,484 Are you ready for bingo? 156 00:10:05,561 --> 00:10:09,622 The fun starts at 7:00 in the cafeteria. 157 00:10:09,698 --> 00:10:12,223 Don't forget your markers. 158 00:10:29,451 --> 00:10:31,976 Excuse me, ladies. 159 00:10:32,054 --> 00:10:33,885 How rude. 160 00:10:42,531 --> 00:10:45,193 - Get I get you anything else? - No, not unless 161 00:10:45,267 --> 00:10:48,259 - you have a cure for my rheumatism. - I wish. 162 00:10:53,809 --> 00:10:55,800 Hi, Mom. 163 00:10:58,180 --> 00:11:00,876 It's my nap time. Why don't you follow suit, 164 00:11:00,949 --> 00:11:02,814 and make like that irritating little bitch? 165 00:11:02,885 --> 00:11:05,046 What are you talking about? I just got here. 166 00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:09,614 I'm talking about you being a source of embarrassment, 167 00:11:09,691 --> 00:11:11,488 a colossal disappointment! 168 00:11:11,560 --> 00:11:15,656 I wish I'd had the courage to take that trip down the back alley. 169 00:11:15,731 --> 00:11:18,131 Come on. I paid up some of the bill, 170 00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:20,794 so please, can we have a nice visit? 171 00:11:20,869 --> 00:11:24,828 - Don't start with that. - I am going to start. 172 00:11:24,907 --> 00:11:27,535 This room, if that's what you want to call it, 173 00:11:27,609 --> 00:11:30,169 isn't provided by some divine entity. 174 00:11:30,245 --> 00:11:33,146 I've had it up to here with that bitch of a secretary, 175 00:11:33,215 --> 00:11:35,775 reminding me daily that you're too stupid 176 00:11:35,851 --> 00:11:38,786 to remember that I have to pay to live here. 177 00:11:38,854 --> 00:11:40,617 It's not that I don't remember... 178 00:11:40,689 --> 00:11:44,284 Don't interrupt me. God damn it, don't you dare contradict me! 179 00:11:44,359 --> 00:11:46,623 You show me the respect I deserve. 180 00:11:46,695 --> 00:11:47,923 If your father were alive, 181 00:11:47,996 --> 00:11:50,328 I'd have him slap you in your snotty little mouth. 182 00:11:50,399 --> 00:11:52,390 - Here we go. - What did you say?! 183 00:11:52,467 --> 00:11:55,868 - How dare you? Get over here... - Relax. I didn't mean it. 184 00:11:55,938 --> 00:11:58,998 - Get your ass over here! - I won't let you hit me! 185 00:11:59,074 --> 00:12:01,542 Forget it, I'll leave before that happens. 186 00:12:02,778 --> 00:12:06,714 Well, it wouldn't be the first time, would it? 187 00:12:06,782 --> 00:12:09,148 That's always the way it's been with you. 188 00:12:09,218 --> 00:12:11,584 Couldn't stand on your own two feet to defend yourself, 189 00:12:11,653 --> 00:12:13,848 if your worthless life depended on it. 190 00:12:13,922 --> 00:12:17,050 Run away, William. It's your answer to everything. 191 00:12:18,227 --> 00:12:20,787 You don't have to stay! 192 00:12:21,864 --> 00:12:24,890 I know you don't want to come to see me. 193 00:12:24,967 --> 00:12:26,935 Yes, I do. 194 00:12:27,002 --> 00:12:28,697 I like to come and see you. 195 00:12:28,770 --> 00:12:32,729 I just wish you'd relax a little and not get so short-tempered. 196 00:12:33,809 --> 00:12:37,245 I get so lonely around here. 197 00:12:37,312 --> 00:12:39,610 Nobody talks to me. 198 00:12:40,682 --> 00:12:42,616 Nobody bothers with me at all. 199 00:12:42,684 --> 00:12:44,618 They have their own little circles. 200 00:12:44,686 --> 00:12:46,654 They don't want to know from anyone. 201 00:12:46,722 --> 00:12:49,486 - They think they're better than me. - Come on, Mom. 202 00:12:49,558 --> 00:12:51,583 You know that's not true. 203 00:12:51,660 --> 00:12:54,424 So, suddenly, you're some kind of big man? 204 00:12:54,496 --> 00:12:56,828 Not so big that you can earn a decent living, 205 00:12:56,899 --> 00:12:58,628 let alone take care of your own mother! 206 00:12:58,700 --> 00:13:01,828 I am so happy that God showed grace enough to take your father away, 207 00:13:04,773 --> 00:13:07,970 - The account is nearly paid up... - You know what you are? 208 00:13:08,043 --> 00:13:10,841 - A whole lot of nothing! - I'm trying... 209 00:13:10,913 --> 00:13:13,211 Trying won't get you through life! 210 00:13:13,282 --> 00:13:15,477 Actions will get you through it. 211 00:13:15,550 --> 00:13:17,381 I thought you'd have learned that by now. 212 00:13:17,452 --> 00:13:19,886 - If your father... - Enough about him! 213 00:13:19,955 --> 00:13:22,355 What do you have to canonize that son of a bitch?! 214 00:13:22,424 --> 00:13:26,451 I know the way he was. I know what you went through! 215 00:13:26,528 --> 00:13:29,964 I'm sick of listening to how fucking great he was! 216 00:13:33,402 --> 00:13:35,393 I'm sorry. 217 00:13:35,470 --> 00:13:40,066 - I shouldn't have said that. - Get out! 218 00:13:40,142 --> 00:13:42,610 It was out of line. I apologize. 219 00:13:43,912 --> 00:13:46,676 I said, get the hell out! 220 00:13:46,748 --> 00:13:49,046 Oh God! Somebody... 221 00:13:49,117 --> 00:13:50,846 get him out of here! 222 00:13:50,919 --> 00:13:54,548 I can't stand to look at you. Get the fuck out! 223 00:13:58,026 --> 00:14:00,494 Don't let him get away. 224 00:14:00,595 --> 00:14:02,961 You and me, go round to round, Jersey style. 225 00:14:03,031 --> 00:14:05,295 Take it on, you smelly bitch. 226 00:14:06,969 --> 00:14:09,130 Hey, it's clowny! 227 00:14:09,204 --> 00:14:11,434 - Give me a dollar! - Yeah, give him a dollar. 228 00:14:11,506 --> 00:14:14,566 Those boys giving you some trouble, Willie? 229 00:14:14,643 --> 00:14:17,544 - Nothing I can't handle. - Bunch of roughnecks. 230 00:14:17,612 --> 00:14:19,910 - Did you get my message? - Yeah. I'm sorry. 231 00:14:19,982 --> 00:14:22,382 I lost a couple of jobs this past week. 232 00:14:22,451 --> 00:14:26,615 Will, I need your help. Somebody's stealing my utilities. 233 00:14:26,688 --> 00:14:29,680 - Oh yeah? - Maybe you overheard something? 234 00:14:29,758 --> 00:14:32,556 No, I haven't. But I'll let you know if I do. 235 00:14:33,895 --> 00:14:35,760 I know your word, Will. 236 00:15:15,937 --> 00:15:17,837 ♪ I wish I was a fry cook ♪ 237 00:15:17,906 --> 00:15:20,568 ♪ Hurray, hurray. ♪ 238 00:15:20,642 --> 00:15:23,736 "Parking attendants." No. 239 00:15:24,813 --> 00:15:28,476 "Recreational Center counselor." No. 240 00:15:28,550 --> 00:15:31,815 "Office manager." Hell no. 241 00:15:31,887 --> 00:15:33,218 No. 242 00:15:33,288 --> 00:15:34,755 No. 243 00:15:34,823 --> 00:15:36,450 No. 244 00:15:36,525 --> 00:15:38,015 And no. 245 00:15:44,332 --> 00:15:46,766 "Let me watch you fuck my wife"?! 246 00:15:46,835 --> 00:15:48,826 "Her, deliciously plump. 247 00:15:48,904 --> 00:15:51,464 You, big and Black with huge set." 248 00:15:53,675 --> 00:15:56,166 "You supply the bathroom brownies, 249 00:15:56,244 --> 00:15:58,178 I sample them." 250 00:16:00,082 --> 00:16:03,074 "Why settle for less when you can have three holes going? 251 00:16:03,151 --> 00:16:06,780 Call Katlyn for an unforgettable bachelor party." 252 00:16:06,855 --> 00:16:09,380 Sick, sick people. 253 00:16:13,895 --> 00:16:15,385 Bachelor parties. 254 00:16:34,082 --> 00:16:37,108 What's the occasion? This place is fucking posh. 255 00:16:37,185 --> 00:16:40,450 What took you so long? Why is your hair wet? 256 00:16:40,522 --> 00:16:43,457 Because I took a shower. Good thing I did. 257 00:16:43,525 --> 00:16:46,119 - Check this out. - What's this? 258 00:16:46,194 --> 00:16:49,789 An epiphany. The single greatest idea I've ever had. 259 00:16:53,034 --> 00:16:54,695 What do you want? 260 00:16:54,769 --> 00:16:57,203 - Hi... - Order something. 261 00:16:57,272 --> 00:17:00,207 Oh. Could I have a burger... charbroiled... 262 00:17:00,275 --> 00:17:02,675 with an order of fries and a coke? 263 00:17:08,083 --> 00:17:10,847 - What are you looking at? - Nothing. 264 00:17:10,919 --> 00:17:13,149 Can I get a coffee? Black. 265 00:17:13,221 --> 00:17:14,711 I'm buying. Order something. 266 00:17:16,958 --> 00:17:18,289 Nah. 267 00:17:21,463 --> 00:17:23,090 What? 268 00:17:23,165 --> 00:17:24,792 - What's wrong? - You are invited. 269 00:17:24,866 --> 00:17:26,766 Come to my poop party"? 270 00:17:26,835 --> 00:17:28,826 You'll let people take a dump on you? 271 00:17:28,904 --> 00:17:31,099 - What? - You're sick. 272 00:17:31,173 --> 00:17:33,334 I thought I knew you, man. 273 00:17:33,408 --> 00:17:35,808 No. That's where I got the idea from. 274 00:17:35,877 --> 00:17:39,176 - Nobody's gonna crap in your face? - Of course not, you idiot. 275 00:17:39,247 --> 00:17:42,444 I changed my mind. Give me the same as him, with two free refills. 276 00:17:42,517 --> 00:17:44,109 - Too late. - Quit screwing around and listen. 277 00:17:44,186 --> 00:17:47,553 Picture this. It's the night before your wedding, 278 00:17:47,622 --> 00:17:50,887 and your friends have gotten together to throw you a bachelor party. 279 00:17:50,959 --> 00:17:53,359 You expect some booze and bawdy behavior, 280 00:17:53,428 --> 00:17:56,056 and of course, the requisite buxom babe. Standard. 281 00:17:56,131 --> 00:17:58,656 This guy will eat your boogers free, for nothing. 282 00:17:58,733 --> 00:18:02,863 That's where I come in. The groom-to-be is expecting a bimbo 283 00:18:02,938 --> 00:18:05,566 with tits from here till Tuesday and a gyrating lap dance. 284 00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:10,134 Instead, it's a male clown with fishnets and garters and a bustier, 285 00:18:19,421 --> 00:18:22,720 Did you eat crack for breakfast? What's the matter with you? 286 00:18:22,791 --> 00:18:25,225 It's a joke. Get it? 287 00:18:25,293 --> 00:18:28,023 Instead of the stripper, I show up to the party 288 00:18:28,096 --> 00:18:29,723 and shock the shit out of the groom! 289 00:18:29,798 --> 00:18:31,993 You're confident there's a calling for that? 290 00:18:32,067 --> 00:18:34,661 No one will be ripping my door off the hinges at first, 291 00:18:34,736 --> 00:18:37,102 but word of mouth advertising. 292 00:18:37,172 --> 00:18:39,572 I could develop a cult following. 293 00:18:39,641 --> 00:18:42,576 Admit, you've never heard anything like this before. 294 00:18:42,644 --> 00:18:45,704 - You got me there. - Everyone except the groom-to-be 295 00:18:45,780 --> 00:18:47,042 is in on the joke. 296 00:18:47,115 --> 00:18:49,709 I show up 20 minutes before the real entertainment, 297 00:18:49,784 --> 00:18:53,015 put on a show, then take off. It'll be funny! 298 00:18:53,088 --> 00:18:54,612 Will you still use the name Flappy? 299 00:18:54,689 --> 00:18:57,624 - 'Cause that will cause confusion. - What do you think? 300 00:18:57,692 --> 00:18:59,922 What's your stage name? You need a moniker. 301 00:18:59,995 --> 00:19:02,190 You can help me out with that. 302 00:19:04,299 --> 00:19:08,827 I know. How about " Will, the naked and retarded clown"? 303 00:19:08,903 --> 00:19:12,066 I won't be naked. Think of something else. 304 00:19:12,140 --> 00:19:15,166 Call a spade a spade. What you're proposing is vulgar. 305 00:19:17,312 --> 00:19:18,802 Vulgar. 306 00:19:20,548 --> 00:19:23,016 It has sort of a nice ring to it. 307 00:19:24,686 --> 00:19:28,019 - That might work, actually. - Work it. 308 00:20:07,762 --> 00:20:09,957 37. 309 00:20:10,031 --> 00:20:13,364 Well, here goes something. 310 00:20:24,045 --> 00:20:25,808 Hello, boys! 311 00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:27,745 Guess who! 312 00:20:33,955 --> 00:20:36,480 Oh. I'm sorry. 313 00:20:36,558 --> 00:20:39,584 - I must have the wrong place. - Not if you're ready to get down. 314 00:20:41,229 --> 00:20:44,198 - Looks like you are. - I got him! 315 00:20:46,234 --> 00:20:49,067 You and my dad, you're going to do the dog. 316 00:20:49,137 --> 00:20:51,867 Frankie, back off! He don't need to know that just yet. 317 00:20:51,940 --> 00:20:53,737 You don't come near him until I give the say so. 318 00:20:53,808 --> 00:20:56,538 This is my goddamn party! I run the show. 319 00:20:56,611 --> 00:20:58,442 Get your pajamas on. 320 00:21:00,715 --> 00:21:04,173 I didn't get to do anything! 321 00:21:04,252 --> 00:21:06,345 You promised he'd be pretty. 322 00:21:06,421 --> 00:21:09,857 - He's fucking ugly. - Close the lips, monkey balls! 323 00:21:09,924 --> 00:21:11,824 - He's Daddy's treat! - Shut up, Frankie! 324 00:21:11,893 --> 00:21:14,487 - You're trying to kiss up... - You're jealous, Gino, 325 00:21:14,562 --> 00:21:16,894 because Daddy let me hit the clown. He likes me better! 326 00:21:16,965 --> 00:21:20,401 He doesn't like you better. 327 00:21:20,468 --> 00:21:23,733 Where do you think you're going? This party ain't over. 328 00:21:23,805 --> 00:21:26,933 There's a shitload of fun to be had before you call this a night. 329 00:21:28,009 --> 00:21:29,601 Help me. 330 00:21:29,677 --> 00:21:32,976 Get that, Gino. This ain't no spectator sport. 331 00:21:43,525 --> 00:21:45,755 - I can do that. - Well, do it. 332 00:21:49,197 --> 00:21:51,722 Gino, show your brother a couple of steps over there. 333 00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:55,201 That boy has two left feet. 334 00:21:56,271 --> 00:21:58,171 Stop that kind of dancing. 335 00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:16,313 - Why do you get to be the clown? - Because I'm older. 336 00:22:16,391 --> 00:22:19,019 And I don't want any more lip from you. 337 00:22:19,093 --> 00:22:24,156 - What is going on over there? - He won't let me be the clown. 338 00:22:24,232 --> 00:22:28,134 I'm older. I'm pretending I'm the clown. 339 00:22:28,203 --> 00:22:31,172 Frankie's Daddy's little boy. That's all. 340 00:22:31,239 --> 00:22:34,333 Frankie, listen to your brother. He is the boss. 341 00:22:34,409 --> 00:22:35,842 No! 342 00:22:37,545 --> 00:22:41,003 What the fuck are you saying? Shut the fuck up! 343 00:22:41,082 --> 00:22:44,108 - I'll beat your ass! - If you motherfuckers can't get along, 344 00:22:44,185 --> 00:22:46,085 I am never bringing you with me ever again. 345 00:22:46,154 --> 00:22:47,951 Is that what you want? 346 00:22:48,022 --> 00:22:49,649 - No. - No. 347 00:22:49,724 --> 00:22:52,056 You know it's sweet. 348 00:22:52,126 --> 00:22:55,254 Do you want to miss out on your chance to... 349 00:22:55,330 --> 00:22:57,389 Shut your mouths! 350 00:22:58,633 --> 00:23:01,158 I want you to watch him. Can you do that? 351 00:23:01,236 --> 00:23:03,966 - I can. - Dad, he's getting away. 352 00:23:04,038 --> 00:23:08,134 - Will somebody stop him? - I could have stopped him. 353 00:23:18,253 --> 00:23:20,721 Save some for us. 354 00:23:20,788 --> 00:23:23,222 Where did you put my dust pipe? 355 00:23:23,291 --> 00:23:26,590 - In the shitbag. - Oh, the shitbag. 356 00:23:26,661 --> 00:23:29,152 I almost forgot about the shitbag. 357 00:23:29,230 --> 00:23:32,427 Gino... get the camera. 358 00:23:32,500 --> 00:23:34,491 I want to make a record of this. 359 00:23:34,569 --> 00:23:37,697 If I'm not mistaken, Mr. Fuckface here is... 360 00:23:37,772 --> 00:23:39,034 cherry. 361 00:23:42,744 --> 00:23:47,408 Daddy, you want it on SP, LP or SLP? 362 00:23:47,482 --> 00:23:49,575 I don't give a fat rat's ass, stupid bastard. 363 00:23:49,651 --> 00:23:51,846 - Just turn it on. - It is on. 364 00:23:53,154 --> 00:23:56,146 Shut the fuck up. I'm gonna start the show. 365 00:23:56,224 --> 00:24:00,183 What's your name? I asked you a question, sweet ass. 366 00:24:02,297 --> 00:24:03,730 Vulgar. 367 00:24:03,798 --> 00:24:07,529 - Vulgar the Clown. - Suck my daddy, swine fuck! 368 00:24:08,603 --> 00:24:11,265 Daddy! He's ruining everything! 369 00:24:11,339 --> 00:24:14,536 Shut the fuck up, Gino! You fucking pussy! 370 00:24:14,609 --> 00:24:16,577 Get your sphincter out of my frame, asshole! 371 00:24:16,644 --> 00:24:18,475 Cut it out! 372 00:24:18,546 --> 00:24:21,106 I mean, your real name, funny man! 373 00:24:21,182 --> 00:24:24,674 Stop laughing. Set him back up, you cocks. 374 00:24:24,752 --> 00:24:27,186 We'll just take that part out. 375 00:24:27,255 --> 00:24:29,416 All right, asshole. Same question. 376 00:24:29,490 --> 00:24:32,789 - What the fuck is your name? - William. 377 00:24:32,860 --> 00:24:35,090 - Why are you doing this? - Okay, William. 378 00:24:35,163 --> 00:24:36,152 Willy. Willy Billy. 379 00:24:36,230 --> 00:24:39,961 - What is it that you do? - I'm a party clown for kids. 380 00:24:40,034 --> 00:24:41,934 No, you're not. You're a cocksucker! 381 00:24:42,003 --> 00:24:43,527 You want me blowing it down your throat. 382 00:24:43,605 --> 00:24:46,267 - No. - Liar. I know faggots like you. 383 00:24:46,341 --> 00:24:49,868 Nothing like the feeling of some fucker's shaft down your throat? 384 00:24:49,944 --> 00:24:51,809 Could be some basehead. What do you care? 385 00:24:51,879 --> 00:24:53,744 Probably suck down his infected manstuff, 386 00:24:53,815 --> 00:24:55,783 smile and call it cherry pie. 387 00:24:55,850 --> 00:24:58,011 You get off on that shit, don't you? 388 00:24:58,086 --> 00:25:01,112 - No... - Yes, you do! 389 00:25:09,063 --> 00:25:10,963 Come on, let me go. 390 00:25:11,032 --> 00:25:12,556 I don't even know who you are. 391 00:25:12,634 --> 00:25:17,367 - My daddy's name is Edwina. - Shut your hole, you moron! 392 00:25:17,438 --> 00:25:19,531 You always do that. 393 00:25:19,607 --> 00:25:22,167 I won't try to press charges. 394 00:25:22,243 --> 00:25:24,768 You're goddamn right you won't. 395 00:25:24,846 --> 00:25:27,781 He's afraid of Dad. Look at him. 396 00:25:27,849 --> 00:25:30,215 He should be afraid of Dad. Dad's tough. 397 00:25:30,284 --> 00:25:33,048 - Let me fuck his cock pouch. - Not yet. 398 00:25:33,121 --> 00:25:35,555 - Now!! - Soon, though. 399 00:25:35,623 --> 00:25:36,851 Soon you'll taste what's good. 400 00:25:36,924 --> 00:25:39,415 But first, I want him to say the words. 401 00:25:39,494 --> 00:25:43,191 Say, "I love to suck cock." 402 00:25:45,099 --> 00:25:47,033 All right. All right. 403 00:25:47,101 --> 00:25:50,161 I love to suck cock. 404 00:25:50,238 --> 00:25:55,073 "My name is William, and I love to suck cock." 405 00:25:55,143 --> 00:25:57,611 My name is William, 406 00:25:57,679 --> 00:25:59,738 and I love to suck cock. 407 00:25:59,814 --> 00:26:02,749 - Tonight's the night. - Please, stop. 408 00:26:02,817 --> 00:26:05,513 What we have here is a failure to communicate. 409 00:26:05,586 --> 00:26:09,078 - Some men you just can't reach. - Please, Edwina. 410 00:26:10,158 --> 00:26:11,648 Turn that thing off! 411 00:26:11,726 --> 00:26:13,819 What the fuck did you say to me? 412 00:26:13,895 --> 00:26:17,387 - Tonight's the night. - Before that. 413 00:26:17,465 --> 00:26:19,797 - You said my name. - I'm sorry. 414 00:26:19,867 --> 00:26:23,462 - I didn't know. - All right. Ass on the bed. Now! 415 00:26:23,538 --> 00:26:25,369 If I have to tell you again, 416 00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:28,841 the wind will be whistling Dixie through a hole in your face. 417 00:26:28,910 --> 00:26:31,276 Me and you are going to bed. That's a fact! 418 00:26:31,345 --> 00:26:34,508 I'm going to make hate to you! Get your ass up there! 419 00:26:43,291 --> 00:26:46,158 What do you think? We're going to kiss? 420 00:26:46,227 --> 00:26:48,092 Get him on his fucking stomach! 421 00:26:48,162 --> 00:26:50,426 Quit holding me up, Gino. Come on. 422 00:26:51,432 --> 00:26:53,024 Get away from me. 423 00:26:53,101 --> 00:26:54,591 No! 424 00:26:56,104 --> 00:26:58,800 - Time for the dog, Pop. - Don't rush me. 425 00:26:58,873 --> 00:27:01,967 - Daddy's going to cock him hard. - Damn right, I am! 426 00:27:02,043 --> 00:27:05,376 And you boys will toss the salad! 427 00:27:05,446 --> 00:27:08,313 - You never had it so good, did you? - He never did. 428 00:27:08,382 --> 00:27:09,974 Rim job! 429 00:27:11,152 --> 00:27:14,121 Now, the shame. 430 00:27:14,188 --> 00:27:16,452 Daddy's making his move! 431 00:27:33,841 --> 00:27:35,468 You know what you are, William? 432 00:27:35,543 --> 00:27:37,238 A whole lot of nothing. 433 00:27:40,481 --> 00:27:43,644 Do you know? Who got the shitbag? 434 00:27:43,718 --> 00:27:46,186 You're holding it, Dad. 435 00:27:51,292 --> 00:27:53,283 He was good. 436 00:30:34,288 --> 00:30:35,915 You... 437 00:30:35,990 --> 00:30:38,481 you fucking nobody! 438 00:32:30,604 --> 00:32:33,129 Open up, Will. 439 00:32:33,207 --> 00:32:36,074 When was last time you cleaned this place? 440 00:32:37,144 --> 00:32:38,941 What are you doing? 441 00:32:39,013 --> 00:32:41,709 Shit, what happened? 442 00:32:41,782 --> 00:32:43,773 Who did this? 443 00:32:43,851 --> 00:32:47,218 Did somebody rob you? One of those fucks outside? 444 00:32:47,288 --> 00:32:50,621 You sit there, all right? You'll be fine. 445 00:32:50,691 --> 00:32:53,251 - I'll call the cops. - No! 446 00:32:53,327 --> 00:32:55,625 Don't call anyone. 447 00:32:56,697 --> 00:32:59,791 - You couldn't, even if I let you. - Why? 448 00:33:02,570 --> 00:33:06,062 Will, tell me what happened to you. 449 00:33:06,140 --> 00:33:07,835 I'll tell you. 450 00:33:07,908 --> 00:33:11,071 I'll tell you. Just... 451 00:33:11,145 --> 00:33:13,909 don't say a word, 'cause once I tell you, that's it, 452 00:33:13,981 --> 00:33:16,415 it's never mentioned again. 453 00:33:16,484 --> 00:33:19,612 - I don't think... - I don't care about what you think 454 00:33:19,687 --> 00:33:21,780 at this precise moment. 455 00:33:23,791 --> 00:33:25,622 What I'm about to tell you... 456 00:33:25,693 --> 00:33:27,786 is not to leave this room. 457 00:33:27,862 --> 00:33:30,456 It can't and it won't. 458 00:33:31,532 --> 00:33:33,591 I'll deal with it in my own way. 459 00:33:33,667 --> 00:33:37,159 So, please, no questions or suggestions about what I should do. 460 00:33:37,238 --> 00:33:39,729 As far as anyone else is concerned, 461 00:33:39,807 --> 00:33:41,536 I was down by Gravely Point, 462 00:33:41,609 --> 00:33:44,237 and got jumped by some guy with a limp and a.44 463 00:33:44,311 --> 00:33:47,041 who pistol-whipped my ass and took my wallet. 464 00:33:47,114 --> 00:33:48,445 All right? 465 00:33:49,884 --> 00:33:52,045 What choice do I have? 466 00:33:53,220 --> 00:33:54,551 This is what happened. 467 00:33:54,622 --> 00:33:57,523 - I must have the wrong place. - Not if you're ready to get down. 468 00:33:59,393 --> 00:34:01,520 Now, the shame. 469 00:34:01,829 --> 00:34:05,560 What happened after that, I don't remember so hot. 470 00:34:05,633 --> 00:34:08,932 All I know is that I woke up this morning alive, 471 00:34:09,003 --> 00:34:12,632 and I'm still trying to decide whether I should be thankful for that. 472 00:34:12,706 --> 00:34:15,368 I don't believe this. 473 00:34:15,442 --> 00:34:17,239 What did the doctor say? 474 00:34:18,546 --> 00:34:21,106 You didn't go to the hospital? 475 00:34:21,182 --> 00:34:24,640 - I just wanted to be home. - Somebody has to look at you. 476 00:34:24,718 --> 00:34:26,618 No questions, no suggestions. 477 00:34:26,687 --> 00:34:29,554 One of those scumbags could have given you a disease. 478 00:34:29,623 --> 00:34:32,592 - You agreed! - I know what I said! 479 00:34:32,660 --> 00:34:35,458 But we have to find these guys. They're sick! 480 00:34:35,529 --> 00:34:38,464 - You could have AIDS! - You think I haven't thought of that? 481 00:34:38,532 --> 00:34:41,057 You don't think that was my first thought? 482 00:34:41,135 --> 00:34:43,831 Fucking A, right, it was! But you know what? 483 00:34:43,904 --> 00:34:47,601 If one of them did have it, there's nothing I can do. 484 00:34:47,675 --> 00:34:50,439 - Will... - Will you shut the fuck up?! 485 00:34:50,511 --> 00:34:52,979 You're leaving them out there to do it to somebody else! 486 00:34:53,047 --> 00:34:55,413 - Not my problem. - It is your problem! 487 00:34:55,482 --> 00:34:57,916 Cops can track dogshit like these guys down. 488 00:34:57,985 --> 00:35:00,510 - You can help. - How would that look? 489 00:35:00,588 --> 00:35:03,751 - How would what look? - A man dressed as a perverted clown, 490 00:35:03,824 --> 00:35:06,520 shows up to a party for three men and cries foul 491 00:35:06,594 --> 00:35:08,926 - after being roughed up a bit? - A bit?! 492 00:35:08,996 --> 00:35:12,898 - There's more to it than that. - Do you want to know why? 493 00:35:12,967 --> 00:35:15,197 Because that's what a lawyer would do. 494 00:35:15,269 --> 00:35:17,362 And I won't sit in front of a jury who thinks 495 00:35:17,438 --> 00:35:20,339 I'm some degenerate defending my character. 496 00:35:20,407 --> 00:35:24,503 - You're not honest with yourself. - Will you stop reacting, 497 00:35:24,578 --> 00:35:28,776 and think about it?! They held me down and raped me! 498 00:35:28,849 --> 00:35:31,750 Exactly! That's why you shouldn't let them walk! 499 00:35:31,819 --> 00:35:35,585 - You should... - Syd, I don't want anyone to know! 500 00:35:35,656 --> 00:35:37,590 That's why. 501 00:35:39,093 --> 00:35:41,459 I don't want anyone to know. 502 00:35:41,528 --> 00:35:44,622 I just don't want anyone to know. 503 00:35:44,698 --> 00:35:48,190 - I don't want anyone to know! - All right. It's okay. 504 00:35:48,269 --> 00:35:49,600 No one else, right? 505 00:35:49,670 --> 00:35:52,230 Nobody else. 506 00:35:52,306 --> 00:35:53,898 Nobody else. 507 00:37:08,015 --> 00:37:11,178 Mrs. Affleck? This is Will Carlson, 508 00:37:11,251 --> 00:37:14,084 the party clown. I know it's short notice, 509 00:37:14,154 --> 00:37:15,917 I won't be able to make it. 510 00:37:15,989 --> 00:37:18,184 I'm sorry, something came up. 511 00:37:18,258 --> 00:37:21,694 No, I can't. I can't. 512 00:37:24,998 --> 00:37:28,024 Yes, this is really Flappy. 513 00:37:28,102 --> 00:37:30,468 No, it really is. 514 00:37:30,537 --> 00:37:32,004 L... 515 00:37:32,072 --> 00:37:33,801 I'll be there, Benny. 516 00:37:33,874 --> 00:37:35,899 See you soon. 517 00:37:48,555 --> 00:37:50,580 Hold up! 518 00:37:52,559 --> 00:37:56,222 Watch where you're going, fuckstick! 519 00:37:56,296 --> 00:37:57,957 Sorry! 520 00:37:58,031 --> 00:37:59,555 - Hurry up! - What's going on? 521 00:37:59,633 --> 00:38:02,261 Some dickhead got his walking papers. 522 00:38:02,336 --> 00:38:05,066 That thing friggin' rules! Let's go! 523 00:38:05,139 --> 00:38:07,505 - Walking papers? - Divorce papers, dumbass! 524 00:38:09,443 --> 00:38:11,741 Where do you think you're going? 525 00:38:11,812 --> 00:38:14,576 I'll have that shitbox towed right out of here! 526 00:38:18,886 --> 00:38:21,286 Don't you people have jobs? Let's go. 527 00:38:21,355 --> 00:38:22,913 Move it back. Let's go. 528 00:38:22,990 --> 00:38:25,117 I repeat, put the weapon down. 529 00:38:25,192 --> 00:38:26,887 Let Ashley go, Travis. 530 00:38:26,960 --> 00:38:29,793 I repeat, go fuck yourself! 531 00:38:29,863 --> 00:38:31,922 She's in charge here, not me! 532 00:38:31,999 --> 00:38:34,968 Not you, her! Jill started all this shit! 533 00:38:35,035 --> 00:38:37,026 Ashley knows it too! 534 00:38:37,104 --> 00:38:38,594 You hear that?! She knows! 535 00:38:40,140 --> 00:38:43,200 You think you can sneak around on me and get a divorce? 536 00:38:43,277 --> 00:38:46,678 I want what's rightfully mine! I want what's coming to me. 537 00:38:46,747 --> 00:38:49,011 I know you don't want to hurt your daughter. 538 00:38:49,082 --> 00:38:52,176 We both know that. This is about something else. 539 00:38:52,252 --> 00:38:55,278 Just talk to me. Maybe we can figure something out. 540 00:38:55,355 --> 00:38:58,085 - It'd be better... - I'll tell you what'd be better. 541 00:38:58,158 --> 00:38:59,785 Send that bitch in here! 542 00:38:59,860 --> 00:39:02,055 She comes in, Ashley comes out. 543 00:39:02,129 --> 00:39:04,461 Get your damn hands off me! I have to go! 544 00:39:04,531 --> 00:39:07,898 If your mother would listen, we wouldn't have to go through this. 545 00:39:13,106 --> 00:39:14,630 You think I'm fucking with you? 546 00:39:14,708 --> 00:39:16,437 You're talking about clearing this shit up, 547 00:39:16,510 --> 00:39:18,068 you've got cops skulking around! 548 00:39:18,145 --> 00:39:20,045 Don't jerk me off, Captain! 549 00:39:29,256 --> 00:39:31,247 It doesn't have to be this way. 550 00:39:31,325 --> 00:39:33,316 That's the way it's gotta be! 551 00:39:33,393 --> 00:39:35,691 If I go out, I ain't going out alone! 552 00:39:35,762 --> 00:39:38,253 I'll take a few of you fucks with me! 553 00:39:38,332 --> 00:39:41,995 No one's been hurt. Walk away with a clean conscience. 554 00:39:42,069 --> 00:39:44,970 - It'll be better for us both. - I'm better than you! 555 00:39:45,038 --> 00:39:47,563 - Better than all of you! - Talk to me, Travis. 556 00:39:47,641 --> 00:39:49,734 I need to know everything's okay in there. 557 00:39:49,810 --> 00:39:51,903 We're going to arrange a meeting with your wife. 558 00:39:51,979 --> 00:39:53,674 Nobody else, just her! 559 00:39:53,747 --> 00:39:55,612 You know I can't promise that. 560 00:39:55,682 --> 00:39:58,207 You think I'm some kind of asshole?! 561 00:39:58,285 --> 00:40:01,948 You think I don't know I'm fucked? You're fucked too! 562 00:40:02,022 --> 00:40:03,250 No matter what you think, 563 00:40:03,323 --> 00:40:05,757 you're not walking away from this a winner. No way! 564 00:40:05,826 --> 00:40:08,158 Is there anything you'd like? 565 00:40:08,228 --> 00:40:09,627 Some sandwiches, coffee maybe? 566 00:40:09,696 --> 00:40:11,823 - Something for Ashley? - No! 567 00:40:11,899 --> 00:40:14,265 There's only one thing on my mind. 568 00:40:14,334 --> 00:40:16,962 You have the power to grant me one request? 569 00:40:17,037 --> 00:40:18,800 Within reason. What do you want? 570 00:40:18,872 --> 00:40:21,397 Bitch's head on a stake. 571 00:40:36,557 --> 00:40:38,582 A deranged father. 572 00:40:38,659 --> 00:40:40,854 An innocent young girl. 573 00:40:40,928 --> 00:40:43,590 It could have ended up yet another statistic 574 00:40:43,664 --> 00:40:47,225 in the growing holocaust of violent domestic unrest 575 00:40:47,301 --> 00:40:49,667 that plagues this country. 576 00:40:49,736 --> 00:40:52,136 But a hometown hero got involved. 577 00:40:52,205 --> 00:40:55,072 Or rather, a hometown clown. 578 00:40:55,142 --> 00:40:58,236 A clown who's got something to smile about, 579 00:40:58,312 --> 00:41:01,611 one eternally grateful little girl. 580 00:41:01,682 --> 00:41:04,480 Let's please welcome Will Carlson, 581 00:41:04,551 --> 00:41:08,419 better known as Flappy the Clown. Welcome to the show. 582 00:41:20,267 --> 00:41:21,427 Will... 583 00:41:21,501 --> 00:41:23,628 what I'd like you to do now 584 00:41:23,704 --> 00:41:25,672 is to take us back. 585 00:41:25,739 --> 00:41:28,003 Tell me what was going through your mind, 586 00:41:28,075 --> 00:41:30,669 what the catalyst, one might say, 587 00:41:30,744 --> 00:41:34,874 was that led you to confront this maniac? 588 00:41:34,948 --> 00:41:38,884 I've given this some thought over the past few days. 589 00:41:38,952 --> 00:41:40,977 To be totally honest, 590 00:41:41,054 --> 00:41:43,147 I still don't know. 591 00:41:43,223 --> 00:41:45,623 There was a little girl that you saved. 592 00:41:45,692 --> 00:41:48,160 - A little eight-year-old girl. - Yeah. 593 00:41:48,228 --> 00:41:50,321 Then the fact that it was a child, 594 00:41:50,397 --> 00:41:52,729 perhaps, that moved you in some way? 595 00:41:52,799 --> 00:41:56,860 Call me old-fashioned, but I've always had a soft spot 596 00:41:56,937 --> 00:41:59,167 for kids with guns pointed at their heads. 597 00:42:00,841 --> 00:42:02,536 But seriously, 598 00:42:02,609 --> 00:42:04,907 you could have easily have been killed. 599 00:42:04,978 --> 00:42:08,880 I can't tell you how many times I've been told that, 600 00:42:08,949 --> 00:42:12,248 - but here I am. - And here you are. 601 00:42:12,319 --> 00:42:14,583 Let's take a few questions from the audience. 602 00:42:14,655 --> 00:42:16,282 Yes, ma'am. 603 00:42:17,357 --> 00:42:19,291 Hi, Flappy. 604 00:42:19,359 --> 00:42:21,156 Hi. 605 00:42:21,228 --> 00:42:25,028 I'm glad you killed that worthless piece of trash. 606 00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:28,934 I didn't kill him. 607 00:42:29,002 --> 00:42:32,494 - I didn't kill him. - You're no hero. 608 00:42:32,572 --> 00:42:35,234 Now, is there a ceiling on how much crap 609 00:42:35,308 --> 00:42:38,038 we, as Americans, have to tolerate from like this? 610 00:42:39,546 --> 00:42:41,912 Also, I was wondering 611 00:42:41,982 --> 00:42:45,679 if you'd consider doing another kind of party? 612 00:42:45,752 --> 00:42:49,745 Umm... I didn't quite catch the first part of that question. 613 00:42:49,823 --> 00:42:52,883 And as for the latter... I didn't get that either. 614 00:42:52,959 --> 00:42:55,393 I still do parties for kids! 615 00:42:59,866 --> 00:43:02,334 Only humans can he heroes, right? 616 00:43:02,402 --> 00:43:04,893 Tell that to Walt Flannigan's dog, 617 00:43:04,971 --> 00:43:07,599 a gutsy pooch who pulled his screaming master 618 00:43:07,674 --> 00:43:09,574 from a burning comic book store. 619 00:43:09,643 --> 00:43:12,441 That story and other hometown heroes... 620 00:43:18,485 --> 00:43:19,679 Don't. 621 00:43:27,227 --> 00:43:28,319 Flappy. 622 00:43:29,696 --> 00:43:33,427 - May I suggest a sandwich, sir? - You may suggest nothing. 623 00:43:33,500 --> 00:43:36,230 Please... he's a fucking party clown. There's not too many of them. 624 00:43:36,303 --> 00:43:38,237 Now find him and get back to me. 625 00:43:38,305 --> 00:43:41,069 Jesus H. Christ, are you still out here from last week? 626 00:43:41,141 --> 00:43:43,769 - Well, if it isn't Mr. Funny Pants. - It's not his fault. 627 00:43:43,844 --> 00:43:45,607 There's been a horrible wind shear all morning. 628 00:43:45,679 --> 00:43:47,670 Relax. 629 00:43:47,748 --> 00:43:49,739 Where have you been? You're an hour late. 630 00:43:49,816 --> 00:43:51,545 Somebody's got to secure our positions 631 00:43:51,618 --> 00:43:53,586 at the top of the entertainment biz. 632 00:43:53,653 --> 00:43:54,585 Damn. 633 00:43:54,654 --> 00:43:56,622 You're not even fucking listening. 634 00:43:57,958 --> 00:43:59,425 All right, Marty, what's on your mind? 635 00:43:59,493 --> 00:44:02,985 Well, Gil, how would you like to be responsible for programming 636 00:44:03,063 --> 00:44:06,089 one of the most popular kiddie shows of all time? 637 00:44:06,166 --> 00:44:07,565 Well, Marty, I'd love it. 638 00:44:07,634 --> 00:44:09,499 Kind of missed my window, though. 639 00:44:09,569 --> 00:44:12,003 Sesame Street's been on for quite some time. 640 00:44:12,072 --> 00:44:15,701 I'm talking about now, about a new show. 641 00:44:15,776 --> 00:44:16,765 Gil? 642 00:44:17,944 --> 00:44:19,673 I'm talking about Flappy. 643 00:44:19,746 --> 00:44:21,373 - Who? - He said Flappy. 644 00:44:21,448 --> 00:44:24,417 I know what he said. Stand over there, please. 645 00:44:24,484 --> 00:44:27,044 You've got to tell me what you're talking about 646 00:44:27,120 --> 00:44:30,988 - before I can give you an appraisal. - First off, it's not a what. 647 00:44:31,057 --> 00:44:34,857 It's a who. And he's making a big splash, Orca-style. 648 00:44:34,928 --> 00:44:37,795 It's the hero clown. The one who saved the little girl. 649 00:44:37,864 --> 00:44:40,355 - The father and guns and everything. - Boring. 650 00:44:40,433 --> 00:44:42,401 He's become a media darling. 651 00:44:42,469 --> 00:44:44,596 It's already transcended the local networks. 652 00:44:44,671 --> 00:44:47,265 This guy has been on two nationwide tabloid shows. 653 00:44:47,340 --> 00:44:49,308 And he's scheduled for prime time tonight. 654 00:44:49,376 --> 00:44:52,311 And what did you say his name is again? 655 00:44:52,379 --> 00:44:54,176 Flappy. 656 00:44:54,247 --> 00:44:56,181 How can you not love that? 657 00:44:56,249 --> 00:44:57,944 Not loving it. 658 00:44:58,018 --> 00:44:59,178 Fine. 659 00:44:59,252 --> 00:45:01,914 It's all right. Just work on your... 660 00:45:01,988 --> 00:45:05,219 let me tell you about this one time I brought this other kid's show 661 00:45:05,292 --> 00:45:07,157 - to Gil's attention. - Hey! Hey! 662 00:45:07,227 --> 00:45:09,559 We agreed never to bring that up again. 663 00:45:09,629 --> 00:45:11,324 Not even in jest. 664 00:45:11,398 --> 00:45:13,958 Nobody knew that big, fat purple bastard 665 00:45:14,034 --> 00:45:15,899 would have such staying power. 666 00:45:15,969 --> 00:45:17,800 Who is this Flappy guy? 667 00:45:17,871 --> 00:45:21,500 People save kids every day of the week. 668 00:45:21,575 --> 00:45:23,634 I heard some flea-footed dog saved his master. 669 00:45:23,710 --> 00:45:27,373 - You want to give him a TV show too? - People love him. 670 00:45:27,447 --> 00:45:29,244 If you're a parent and you haven't secured him 671 00:45:29,316 --> 00:45:31,250 for your kids' party, forget it. 672 00:45:31,318 --> 00:45:33,411 You're meat. They hate you. 673 00:45:33,486 --> 00:45:36,387 This guy's gonna be big! I can feel it. 674 00:45:36,456 --> 00:45:38,583 That prehistoric shitbag, dude, he's scrapnel. 675 00:45:38,658 --> 00:45:40,751 This Flappy is prime fucking rib! 676 00:45:40,827 --> 00:45:44,092 - Strike while the iron's hot! - All right. Listen. 677 00:45:44,164 --> 00:45:46,962 We've got two months until our contracts are re-upped. 678 00:45:47,033 --> 00:45:49,399 - If he's still as hot then... - Listen. 679 00:45:49,469 --> 00:45:53,030 - ♪ I love you, you love me... ♪ - All right! 680 00:45:53,106 --> 00:45:56,735 All right, you pushy bastard. Get this Flappy guy on board. 681 00:45:56,810 --> 00:45:58,869 - Yes! - No... and I repeat... 682 00:45:58,945 --> 00:46:01,880 no long-term deal, standard contract only. 683 00:46:01,948 --> 00:46:04,644 I'm not marrying some wet-behind-the-ears rookie. 684 00:46:04,718 --> 00:46:06,481 Gil? 685 00:46:06,553 --> 00:46:08,783 Flappy's the word. 686 00:46:08,855 --> 00:46:11,346 ♪ Flappy's the word, is the word ♪ 687 00:46:11,424 --> 00:46:13,119 - ♪ Have you heard... ♪ - Marty, do you mind? 688 00:46:13,193 --> 00:46:14,125 It's cool. 689 00:46:18,331 --> 00:46:19,559 Flappy... 690 00:46:19,633 --> 00:46:21,430 you had better have me golfing 691 00:46:21,501 --> 00:46:24,061 with some players in Hawaii by year's end. 692 00:46:25,272 --> 00:46:27,433 He will, sir. He will. 693 00:46:27,507 --> 00:46:30,340 - The wedge! - Wise choice, sir. 694 00:46:45,525 --> 00:46:48,050 Look, I don't know who you're collecting for, 695 00:46:48,128 --> 00:46:51,154 but they can save a cell for me down in debtors prison. 696 00:46:51,231 --> 00:46:52,789 Oh. Mr. Carlson. 697 00:46:52,866 --> 00:46:55,357 Hi. No, I'm Martan Ingram. 698 00:46:55,435 --> 00:46:56,959 Jayram Television. 699 00:46:57,037 --> 00:46:58,937 You know, out at the highlands. 700 00:46:59,005 --> 00:47:01,872 - Oh. I'm sorry. Come in. - Thank you. 701 00:47:01,942 --> 00:47:03,466 Come in. 702 00:47:05,011 --> 00:47:07,571 You know how those bill collectors can be, 703 00:47:07,647 --> 00:47:10,741 wanting payment on goods and services, the nerve. 704 00:47:10,817 --> 00:47:13,308 They can be trying. Ummm... 705 00:47:13,386 --> 00:47:15,877 let me cut right to the chase. 706 00:47:15,956 --> 00:47:18,186 Have you ever done any television before? 707 00:47:18,258 --> 00:47:20,226 A ton in the past few weeks. 708 00:47:20,293 --> 00:47:23,490 Oh, the news, but I'm talking about before that. 709 00:47:23,563 --> 00:47:26,555 Well, once I was eating at Ray's Ribtip Grill, 710 00:47:26,633 --> 00:47:28,430 and this old dude smashed through the window 711 00:47:28,501 --> 00:47:30,992 and killed this retarded kid, and they asked me for a comment 712 00:47:31,071 --> 00:47:32,265 on the 11:00 news. 713 00:47:33,340 --> 00:47:34,671 Well... l... 714 00:47:37,410 --> 00:47:40,208 I meant, have you thought of hosting your own show? 715 00:47:40,280 --> 00:47:44,148 Well, I was trying to set up something on cable access, 716 00:47:44,217 --> 00:47:48,779 - but air time doesn't come cheap. - It can be pricey. 717 00:47:48,855 --> 00:47:52,985 I was thinking that I... we, at Jayram... 718 00:47:53,059 --> 00:47:56,495 we're extremely enthusiastic about you hosting your own show. 719 00:47:56,563 --> 00:47:58,793 Yeah, right. Where's the camera? 720 00:47:58,865 --> 00:48:00,890 Who are you, Allen Funt's evil twin? 721 00:48:03,269 --> 00:48:06,067 - You're serious? - As a heart attack. 722 00:48:07,374 --> 00:48:10,468 I always wanted to say that. You'd be syndicated, 723 00:48:10,543 --> 00:48:12,909 which means that every kid, from Portland, Oregon 724 00:48:12,979 --> 00:48:15,607 to Portland, Maine, would be watching your show, 725 00:48:15,682 --> 00:48:17,877 or more specifically, you, the Flappy. 726 00:48:19,352 --> 00:48:23,254 - I don't know what to think. - I brought a contract along, 727 00:48:23,323 --> 00:48:27,259 and it's spelled out fairly clearly. I was hoping we could... 728 00:48:28,495 --> 00:48:29,655 jeez... 729 00:48:29,729 --> 00:48:31,924 I'm rushing you, aren't I? 730 00:48:31,998 --> 00:48:34,831 God, I'm not even thinking this is sudden for you. 731 00:48:36,069 --> 00:48:38,833 That's one way of putting it. Surreal might be another. 732 00:48:38,905 --> 00:48:41,066 Why don't we do this like real people? 733 00:48:41,141 --> 00:48:42,904 Do you want to have dinner tonight? 734 00:48:42,976 --> 00:48:46,468 If you want, feel free to bring your agent along. 735 00:48:46,546 --> 00:48:50,004 - That's fine with me. - I don't exactly have an agent. 736 00:48:51,785 --> 00:48:54,777 Well... if we had to, we could wait. 737 00:48:54,854 --> 00:48:57,448 No! I mean, no. 738 00:48:57,524 --> 00:48:59,992 Why give those guys 10%? 739 00:49:00,060 --> 00:49:03,723 It's just that my car is a bit on the fritz. 740 00:49:03,797 --> 00:49:06,322 Not a problem. We'll send a car to pick you up. 741 00:49:06,399 --> 00:49:09,732 - 7:00? - That would be great. 742 00:49:09,803 --> 00:49:11,930 Ummm... why, though? 743 00:49:12,005 --> 00:49:14,337 If you're partial to public transportation, 744 00:49:14,407 --> 00:49:18,468 - by all means, take the bus. - No, no. Why the show? 745 00:49:18,545 --> 00:49:21,480 Why me? I know I helped a little girl... 746 00:49:21,548 --> 00:49:23,106 Helped her? 747 00:49:23,183 --> 00:49:25,708 You saved her. 748 00:49:25,785 --> 00:49:28,049 People remember things like that. 749 00:49:30,190 --> 00:49:31,953 Have you ever heard of karma? 750 00:49:32,025 --> 00:49:34,960 - Yeah. - Okay, then. 751 00:49:42,068 --> 00:49:44,298 Hi, Mom. 752 00:49:44,370 --> 00:49:46,838 Visiting hours are over. You have to leave. 753 00:49:46,906 --> 00:49:49,739 The secretary said I could drop by. 754 00:49:49,809 --> 00:49:52,471 I'm sorry I haven't been by in a few days. I've been busy. 755 00:49:52,545 --> 00:49:55,070 - I saw you on the television. - You did? 756 00:49:55,148 --> 00:49:56,877 That's what I'm here to talk about. 757 00:49:56,950 --> 00:49:59,680 Of course, I was watching it in the community room. 758 00:49:59,752 --> 00:50:02,721 I don't have a TV of my own, like everyone else here. 759 00:50:02,789 --> 00:50:05,690 You will soon. I have some pretty good news. 760 00:50:05,758 --> 00:50:08,090 - Sure. - No, I do. 761 00:50:08,161 --> 00:50:11,358 Someone from one of the networks saw what I did. 762 00:50:11,431 --> 00:50:13,729 It was a very stupid thing to do. 763 00:50:13,800 --> 00:50:15,859 Some people think that. 764 00:50:15,935 --> 00:50:18,335 It might not have been one of my smartest moves... 765 00:50:18,404 --> 00:50:20,497 I don't know that you've ever made a smart move 766 00:50:20,573 --> 00:50:22,871 in your whole miserable existence. 767 00:50:22,942 --> 00:50:26,105 I'm sorry about what I said. When you talk about him... 768 00:50:26,179 --> 00:50:29,706 I didn't mean it. I got a little mad. 769 00:50:29,782 --> 00:50:33,013 Can we forget it happened and start fresh? 770 00:50:33,086 --> 00:50:35,179 I don't have to stand for that. 771 00:50:35,255 --> 00:50:38,156 I know. I said I'm sorry. I didn't come here to fight. 772 00:50:38,224 --> 00:50:41,057 I came to tell you that I got a job. 773 00:50:41,127 --> 00:50:42,651 On television! 774 00:50:42,729 --> 00:50:44,754 Television? 775 00:50:44,831 --> 00:50:48,198 They must have put you on as a maintenance man. 776 00:50:48,268 --> 00:50:49,997 You have no skills. 777 00:50:50,069 --> 00:50:52,196 What could you be qualified for? 778 00:50:52,272 --> 00:50:56,106 I'm a clown, just like I've always wanted to be. 779 00:50:56,176 --> 00:50:57,871 It finally worked out. 780 00:50:57,944 --> 00:50:59,741 For a while, it looked bleak, 781 00:50:59,812 --> 00:51:02,280 and I thought I might have to give it up, but I'm glad I didn't! 782 00:51:02,348 --> 00:51:05,317 Still with the clown business? 783 00:51:05,385 --> 00:51:07,285 You'll go nowhere with that. 784 00:51:07,353 --> 00:51:11,722 I've tried to drum some sense into that skull of yours for years... 785 00:51:11,791 --> 00:51:13,918 Mom, you're not listening. 786 00:51:13,993 --> 00:51:17,053 I have my own show, my own regular TV show. 787 00:51:17,130 --> 00:51:20,190 It will be called, Flappy's Fun House. 788 00:51:20,266 --> 00:51:22,200 That's an absurd name. 789 00:51:22,268 --> 00:51:25,431 They thought of the name. But it'll be pretty good. 790 00:51:25,505 --> 00:51:28,133 It has some positive messages, and no violence. 791 00:51:28,208 --> 00:51:31,507 The idea is that it teaches and entertains at the same time. 792 00:51:31,578 --> 00:51:33,978 What parent in their right mind 793 00:51:34,047 --> 00:51:37,016 would let their child watch such foolishness? 794 00:51:37,083 --> 00:51:39,381 It won't last. Even I can see that. 795 00:51:39,452 --> 00:51:42,546 You'll end up right back where you started. 796 00:51:42,622 --> 00:51:45,352 Seems you were born to be a bumbling idiot. 797 00:51:46,526 --> 00:51:50,257 What is so hard about being happy for me? 798 00:51:50,330 --> 00:51:54,323 Why can't you say anything nice? 799 00:51:54,400 --> 00:51:56,425 Why bother telling you? 800 00:51:56,502 --> 00:51:58,060 I'd just as soon you didn't annoy me 801 00:51:58,137 --> 00:52:00,332 with such asinine fairy tales. 802 00:52:00,406 --> 00:52:03,637 - Television! - Want me to show you the contracts? 803 00:52:03,710 --> 00:52:07,305 - What do you need? Written proof? - Maven on the move. 804 00:52:07,380 --> 00:52:12,909 What you need to learn is what you do is nothing more than a hobby. 805 00:52:12,986 --> 00:52:15,546 It's a job, not a hobby. 806 00:52:15,622 --> 00:52:19,080 Yes, well, you've overstayed your welcome. 807 00:52:20,593 --> 00:52:22,493 Go on, get out! 808 00:52:22,562 --> 00:52:24,462 Bring some good news back with you next time, 809 00:52:24,530 --> 00:52:26,930 not some bullshit about having a real job! 810 00:52:27,000 --> 00:52:30,766 I'll believe you have a real job the day you can walk in, 811 00:52:30,837 --> 00:52:33,362 and your hands aren't softer than a newborn's ass. 812 00:52:33,439 --> 00:52:37,170 Out! I don't want to hear it. You make me ill. 813 00:52:54,761 --> 00:52:57,594 Well, kids, you won't believe this, 814 00:52:57,664 --> 00:53:00,690 but that's all the time we have for today. 815 00:53:03,002 --> 00:53:05,869 Have no fear. We'll do it all again tomorrow, 816 00:53:05,938 --> 00:53:09,465 with more fun and excitement on Flappy's Fun House! 817 00:53:09,542 --> 00:53:11,407 Yeah! 818 00:53:12,478 --> 00:53:15,140 Now, I want to thank you, 819 00:53:15,214 --> 00:53:16,704 and you, 820 00:53:16,783 --> 00:53:18,307 and you, 821 00:53:18,384 --> 00:53:22,218 for helping me make this first show a big success. 822 00:53:22,288 --> 00:53:24,518 I want you to do what Flappy did. 823 00:53:24,590 --> 00:53:27,354 Stay in school and take care of yourself, 824 00:53:27,427 --> 00:53:31,659 because you know what? You're the only you you've got. 825 00:53:31,731 --> 00:53:34,256 And I'm not clowning around! 826 00:53:38,705 --> 00:53:41,765 - Excuse me. - You are a natural. 827 00:53:41,841 --> 00:53:44,867 - You realize that, don't you? - Hello, Flappy. Martan 828 00:53:44,944 --> 00:53:47,708 Cinnamon, get the door. These kids, they just... 829 00:53:47,780 --> 00:53:50,613 - they love you. - They do, don't they? 830 00:53:50,683 --> 00:53:52,617 Absolutely. I'm no psychic friend, 831 00:53:52,685 --> 00:53:55,950 but I'll bet that within a year, you'll be more popular 832 00:53:56,022 --> 00:53:59,389 than "It's Scotty" and those powerful Rangers. 833 00:53:59,459 --> 00:54:01,927 - Really? - Yes. 834 00:54:05,498 --> 00:54:07,056 Fuck. 835 00:55:12,932 --> 00:55:14,729 It came, Mommy! 836 00:55:14,801 --> 00:55:17,361 - Flappy sent the video! - So he did. 837 00:55:17,437 --> 00:55:19,769 - Want me to open it for you? - "Want me to open it for you?" 838 00:55:19,839 --> 00:55:22,433 Would you two shut up? I'm trying to watch a picture here. 839 00:55:22,508 --> 00:55:25,671 - Shut up, you old fool. - Shut up, old fool. 840 00:55:25,745 --> 00:55:29,181 Hey, I don't want her talking to me like that. 841 00:55:29,248 --> 00:55:32,183 - Can I watch it now? - You certainly can. 842 00:55:32,251 --> 00:55:35,345 What? I was watching something. 843 00:55:35,421 --> 00:55:37,685 I noticed. 844 00:55:37,757 --> 00:55:39,691 It's just that I don't care. 845 00:55:41,160 --> 00:55:45,529 - What? I pay the damn rent! - Watch your English around her. 846 00:55:45,598 --> 00:55:47,361 What does that say? Volume eight? 847 00:55:47,433 --> 00:55:50,163 Have you been buying that crap and not telling me? 848 00:55:51,938 --> 00:55:54,338 - What is it? - It's Flappy's Funhouse! 849 00:55:54,407 --> 00:55:56,432 I can read. What's a Flappy? 850 00:55:56,509 --> 00:55:58,500 I like and love Flappy. 851 00:56:00,446 --> 00:56:02,710 - That tells me nothing... - Leave her alone. 852 00:56:02,782 --> 00:56:06,115 Leave me alone. He's mad 'cause Flappy's better than him. 853 00:56:06,185 --> 00:56:08,949 All right, that's it. I'm going out with my boys. 854 00:56:09,021 --> 00:56:10,750 We're bowling tonight. 855 00:56:10,823 --> 00:56:13,451 - League champs, I might add. - Oh, I care. 856 00:56:13,526 --> 00:56:16,120 Do they have social lives? 857 00:56:16,195 --> 00:56:17,787 I have never seen two grown men 858 00:56:17,864 --> 00:56:20,492 who'd rather hang out with their father constantly 859 00:56:20,566 --> 00:56:24,332 instead of going on dates, or at least attempting to meet women. 860 00:56:24,403 --> 00:56:26,496 Oh yeah? Maybe that's what we're doing. 861 00:56:26,572 --> 00:56:29,132 - Have you considered that? - Who in their right mind 862 00:56:29,208 --> 00:56:30,698 would be interested in you? 863 00:56:30,776 --> 00:56:33,244 I can't believe I was for that fleeting moment. 864 00:56:33,312 --> 00:56:35,746 You know, that front door hasn't moved. 865 00:56:38,885 --> 00:56:41,513 Look at this. A clown. 866 00:56:41,587 --> 00:56:42,679 How unique. 867 00:56:42,755 --> 00:56:45,315 No one has ever thought of putting a clown on TV before. 868 00:56:45,391 --> 00:56:48,656 You people are so easily taken, 869 00:56:48,728 --> 00:56:50,320 especially you. 870 00:57:13,019 --> 00:57:14,577 My name's William, 871 00:57:14,654 --> 00:57:18,317 and I love to suck cocks. I love... 872 00:57:18,391 --> 00:57:20,325 to suck cock. 873 00:57:21,594 --> 00:57:22,891 For kids. 874 00:57:33,873 --> 00:57:36,967 Gee, Ed, if I had known you were gonna develop 875 00:57:37,043 --> 00:57:38,271 such an affinity for it, 876 00:57:38,344 --> 00:57:41,006 I'd have signed you up for his fanclub. 877 00:57:45,818 --> 00:57:48,082 - Mom! - What's the matter, jackass?! 878 00:57:48,154 --> 00:57:50,349 He sure is one. 879 00:58:01,834 --> 00:58:05,668 I was like, " 10 grand for a store opening?" 880 00:58:05,738 --> 00:58:07,729 I felt like I was robbing the guy. 881 00:58:07,807 --> 00:58:10,207 I half expected him to ask me for help trafficking 882 00:58:10,276 --> 00:58:12,301 black market babies to Mexico. 883 00:58:12,378 --> 00:58:15,814 I'd do it for 10 grand. Which way to the border? 884 00:58:15,881 --> 00:58:18,475 I'm getting another call. 885 00:58:18,551 --> 00:58:21,577 Don't forget we're having dinner with Phil at Raskin's tonight. 886 00:58:21,654 --> 00:58:23,781 I'll give you a call around 8:00. 887 00:58:23,856 --> 00:58:25,619 Talk to you then. 888 00:58:25,691 --> 00:58:27,124 Hello? 889 00:58:27,193 --> 00:58:29,957 Hello, fuckface! 890 00:58:30,029 --> 00:58:32,759 - Who is this? - Say it isn't so. 891 00:58:32,832 --> 00:58:34,322 You've forgotten me already. 892 00:58:37,136 --> 00:58:39,570 And after we were so... 893 00:58:39,639 --> 00:58:41,266 familiar. 894 00:58:47,747 --> 00:58:51,080 - What the hell do you want? - It's all coming back to you now? 895 00:58:51,117 --> 00:58:54,245 I thought it might. What do I want? 896 00:58:54,320 --> 00:58:56,515 That's a good question. 897 00:58:56,589 --> 00:58:59,990 Immortality? Legendary status? 898 00:59:00,059 --> 00:59:03,085 Wait! I've got it! $50,000! 899 00:59:03,162 --> 00:59:07,599 For what?! Count yourself fortunate your ass isn't in jail. 900 00:59:07,667 --> 00:59:10,397 I should have called the cops on you, you sick fuck! 901 00:59:10,469 --> 00:59:12,801 Who the fuck do you think you're talking to? 902 00:59:12,872 --> 00:59:16,137 I'll show them the goddamn tape. I'll bury you! 903 00:59:16,208 --> 00:59:18,176 What tape? 904 00:59:18,244 --> 00:59:20,542 You put on a good performance that night. 905 00:59:20,613 --> 00:59:22,581 You took off the clown garments... 906 00:59:22,648 --> 00:59:24,377 did it all. 907 00:59:24,450 --> 00:59:27,283 The show was good. Worth the money. 908 00:59:27,353 --> 00:59:29,981 I didn't put on any show. You know it. 909 00:59:30,056 --> 00:59:32,581 What does your tape show? What you did to me? 910 00:59:32,658 --> 00:59:35,525 Go ahead, shoot yourself in the foot, by all means. 911 00:59:35,594 --> 00:59:37,619 You're trying to call my bluff. 912 00:59:37,697 --> 00:59:39,927 That's not all the tape shows, handsome. 913 00:59:39,999 --> 00:59:41,830 It shows you getting down, 914 00:59:41,901 --> 00:59:44,961 but it seems you like talking about what you do. 915 00:59:45,037 --> 00:59:47,699 - I don't believe you. - That's fine. 916 00:59:47,773 --> 00:59:49,707 It's just that my boy Gino, 917 00:59:49,775 --> 00:59:52,972 if there's one thing he likes it's fooling around with that camera, 918 00:59:53,045 --> 00:59:56,276 making little movies, editing... 919 00:59:57,349 --> 01:00:01,479 I knew it. Give me my video. 920 01:00:02,621 --> 01:00:05,488 Now listen. You'll want to work with me on this. 921 01:00:05,558 --> 01:00:07,822 If I show that tape to a few people... 922 01:00:07,893 --> 01:00:11,056 the right people or the wrong people, depending on how you look at it... 923 01:00:11,130 --> 01:00:13,928 Flappy's in for a world of trouble, wouldn't you say? 924 01:00:13,999 --> 01:00:17,162 What assurance do I have that this tape even exists? 925 01:00:17,236 --> 01:00:20,034 - Once you get the money, then what? - You get the tape. 926 01:00:20,106 --> 01:00:21,164 This is the only one? 927 01:00:21,240 --> 01:00:24,573 How can I be certain another one won't mysteriously pop up? 928 01:00:24,643 --> 01:00:27,635 - You can't be. - Then why would I agree? 929 01:00:27,713 --> 01:00:29,943 Because you have no choice, Mr. Fuck-face! 930 01:00:30,015 --> 01:00:32,381 Stop calling me that! 931 01:00:34,186 --> 01:00:35,949 - When? - Tomorrow. 932 01:00:36,021 --> 01:00:37,921 How about the corner phone at Snub and Cornwall? 933 01:00:37,990 --> 01:00:41,187 - I suggest you be there and wait. - I want to know now. 934 01:00:41,260 --> 01:00:43,785 I'd let you know right now, but I have my eye... 935 01:00:43,863 --> 01:00:46,058 on the most delicious young gentleman. 936 01:00:46,132 --> 01:00:50,296 Couldn't be more than seven. So supple at that age, so... 937 01:00:50,369 --> 01:00:52,360 goodbye, fuck-face! 938 01:01:02,948 --> 01:01:04,415 What? 939 01:01:06,685 --> 01:01:08,710 When you told me what happened that night, 940 01:01:08,788 --> 01:01:11,348 you didn't mention a video camera. 941 01:01:11,423 --> 01:01:14,722 Think hard. Are you sure you don't remember? 942 01:01:14,794 --> 01:01:16,887 I'm sure. 943 01:01:16,962 --> 01:01:19,123 I could barely remember anything the next day, 944 01:01:19,198 --> 01:01:21,132 let alone a year later. 945 01:01:23,269 --> 01:01:25,897 What are the chances he would hold on to something like that? 946 01:01:25,971 --> 01:01:27,962 I think he's bullshitting you. 947 01:01:28,040 --> 01:01:31,601 That's the thing. I don't know. 948 01:01:31,677 --> 01:01:34,043 I'd like to believe he is... 949 01:01:35,114 --> 01:01:36,945 but I'm not sure. 950 01:01:38,184 --> 01:01:39,947 I don't think he is. 951 01:01:41,253 --> 01:01:43,414 What are you going to do? 952 01:01:43,489 --> 01:01:46,185 I'll pay him the money. What do you think? 953 01:01:46,258 --> 01:01:48,249 - Why? - Why? 954 01:01:48,327 --> 01:01:51,819 Take a look around you. I worked hard to get where I am, 955 01:01:51,897 --> 01:01:53,489 and I won't let some pissant take it away. 956 01:01:53,566 --> 01:01:57,434 - $50,000 is a lot of money. - It's a gamble. 957 01:01:57,503 --> 01:01:59,767 I just hope this is it after this. 958 01:01:59,839 --> 01:02:03,138 Then we can threaten him with extortion after paying him. 959 01:02:03,209 --> 01:02:06,838 That's insane! Why should we give him anything after what he did?! 960 01:02:06,912 --> 01:02:09,437 - "We" aren't giving him anything. - Fine. 961 01:02:09,515 --> 01:02:12,450 Then what you should do is use the money 962 01:02:12,518 --> 01:02:14,679 to hire somebody to storm into his shitty house, 963 01:02:14,753 --> 01:02:18,018 beat his ass, get the video and then we'd be done with him. 964 01:02:18,090 --> 01:02:20,854 He's a crazy old fuck. How much of a threat can he be? 965 01:02:20,926 --> 01:02:21,893 Are these yours? 966 01:02:24,830 --> 01:02:28,322 You should never have cut school today, young man. 967 01:02:28,400 --> 01:02:32,530 See what happens when you're truant? 968 01:02:37,977 --> 01:02:40,912 Dad, he don't look so good. 969 01:02:40,980 --> 01:02:43,210 And you do? 970 01:02:43,282 --> 01:02:45,978 - Right now, let's go! - Dad! 971 01:02:46,051 --> 01:02:47,951 He smells like shit again. 972 01:02:48,020 --> 01:02:50,318 - I do not! - Stop. 973 01:02:50,389 --> 01:02:54,223 Gino, do you plan on fucking it sometime today? 974 01:02:55,828 --> 01:02:57,887 Well, I was thinking, 975 01:02:57,963 --> 01:03:01,660 since he doesn't look so great... 976 01:03:02,968 --> 01:03:06,631 - what if I just finger-fuck it? - Oh God. 977 01:03:06,705 --> 01:03:10,505 Dad, Gino's scared of the little man's tiny hole. 978 01:03:12,912 --> 01:03:14,641 I wish you would, fecal freak! 979 01:03:14,713 --> 01:03:16,738 Did you ever see that movie? 980 01:03:16,815 --> 01:03:19,215 This little guy around his age... 981 01:03:19,285 --> 01:03:21,344 he's walking to school and gets kidnapped. 982 01:03:21,420 --> 01:03:23,012 Next thing you know, 983 01:03:23,088 --> 01:03:25,818 some psychic sticks her nose where it doesn't belong. 984 01:03:25,891 --> 01:03:27,756 In the end, the kid gets saved, 985 01:03:27,826 --> 01:03:30,260 lives to see the light of another day. 986 01:03:30,329 --> 01:03:32,160 Damned her clairvoyant ass anyway. 987 01:03:32,231 --> 01:03:34,222 No fortuneteller will come busting through that door 988 01:03:34,300 --> 01:03:36,427 to save your sweet little hide. 989 01:03:36,502 --> 01:03:38,436 I'll tell you what will happen. 990 01:03:38,504 --> 01:03:40,768 You will take my man-size cock 991 01:03:40,839 --> 01:03:42,704 between your pretty little lips. 992 01:03:42,775 --> 01:03:44,675 Then, it's time to give up the ghost. 993 01:03:44,743 --> 01:03:47,109 I'm not sure you know what that means. 994 01:03:47,179 --> 01:03:49,579 It's pain. It's darkness... 995 01:03:49,648 --> 01:03:50,945 forever. 996 01:03:51,016 --> 01:03:52,984 You're gonna die, you dainty little fuck! 997 01:04:01,060 --> 01:04:04,359 This is how I kiss. 998 01:04:09,301 --> 01:04:12,634 And I'm gonna kiss you all over. 999 01:04:15,841 --> 01:04:18,401 If there was a way to be certain... 1000 01:04:19,645 --> 01:04:22,842 You should have done something at the time. 1001 01:04:22,915 --> 01:04:24,849 It's fucking ironic is what it is. 1002 01:04:24,917 --> 01:04:27,750 A year ago, we could have nailed his ass to the wall. 1003 01:04:29,188 --> 01:04:32,521 It's a little too late for "should haves" and "could haves." 1004 01:04:33,826 --> 01:04:37,387 What I have to worry about now is how to get the money to him 1005 01:04:37,463 --> 01:04:39,795 without any traces back to me. 1006 01:04:41,033 --> 01:04:43,593 This is unreal. 1007 01:04:43,669 --> 01:04:45,796 He's going to get away with it. 1008 01:04:57,616 --> 01:04:59,743 Clean it up. 1009 01:05:04,556 --> 01:05:08,048 - He means you too, genius. - Go on and clean. 1010 01:05:08,127 --> 01:05:09,389 Quit it, Frankie. 1011 01:05:24,543 --> 01:05:25,908 Hello? 1012 01:05:25,978 --> 01:05:29,436 I know you have it. You would never let me down. 1013 01:05:29,515 --> 01:05:32,109 - No. - Your mama didn't raise no fool. 1014 01:05:32,184 --> 01:05:34,414 Cut the shit! This ain't no tea party! 1015 01:05:34,486 --> 01:05:37,284 Feisty. Don't get wise with me, Mr. Fuckface! 1016 01:05:37,356 --> 01:05:40,814 You're fucking with the bull. You know where I'll stick those horns. 1017 01:05:40,893 --> 01:05:45,853 Here's the news. You'll be looking for a '64 Skylark. 1018 01:05:45,931 --> 01:05:47,865 Damn, that was a good year. 1019 01:05:47,933 --> 01:05:50,902 My Frankie had his first piece of dick in a car like that. 1020 01:05:50,969 --> 01:05:54,097 Anyway, pull up the back-seat and put the case in. 1021 01:05:54,173 --> 01:05:56,835 After that, tell that old bastard Barron 1022 01:05:56,909 --> 01:06:00,572 that's not quite what you wanted. Can he suggest something else? 1023 01:06:00,646 --> 01:06:04,377 When he does, that's where you'll find your end of the deal. 1024 01:06:04,450 --> 01:06:08,147 That yard has ears, boy. So don't try pulling any slick shit. 1025 01:06:08,220 --> 01:06:09,949 Money, then the tape. 1026 01:06:10,022 --> 01:06:13,082 Anything else would be a tragic fucking mistake. 1027 01:06:13,158 --> 01:06:14,785 Capice? 1028 01:06:15,894 --> 01:06:18,055 "Do not enter." That's what you read. 1029 01:06:18,130 --> 01:06:19,461 Back it up. 1030 01:06:30,309 --> 01:06:33,301 Skylark? I've got one. A '64. 1031 01:06:33,378 --> 01:06:36,870 I got to shoot straight shit with you. She's an ugly old whore. 1032 01:06:36,949 --> 01:06:39,281 - Ain't much to look at it. - That's fine. 1033 01:06:45,591 --> 01:06:48,424 Joe-Joe, run to the pharmacy and get me some eye douche. 1034 01:06:48,494 --> 01:06:51,258 - You do it! - Chop! Chop! 1035 01:06:51,330 --> 01:06:53,730 Got to keep these monkeys dancing. 1036 01:06:54,800 --> 01:06:56,461 What's with the case? Are you a stockbroker? 1037 01:06:56,535 --> 01:06:57,627 No. 1038 01:06:57,703 --> 01:07:01,605 Holy shit! You're not in the syndicate, are you? 1039 01:07:01,673 --> 01:07:03,903 One of those La Costra Nostra? 1040 01:07:03,976 --> 01:07:05,841 You got a machine gun in there? 1041 01:07:07,980 --> 01:07:09,845 No, I sell pools. 1042 01:07:09,915 --> 01:07:12,145 - Where's the car? - You might as well be in the mob. 1043 01:07:12,217 --> 01:07:14,344 The prices you charge ain't nothing but a shakedown anyway. 1044 01:07:14,419 --> 01:07:16,444 I sell them, I don't own the company. 1045 01:07:16,522 --> 01:07:18,353 I heard that before. 1046 01:07:19,791 --> 01:07:21,053 Well... 1047 01:07:22,494 --> 01:07:24,621 here she is. What do you think? 1048 01:07:27,232 --> 01:07:28,824 Last one in the yard. 1049 01:07:28,901 --> 01:07:30,368 At least in this yard. 1050 01:07:30,435 --> 01:07:33,768 Yo, Pops, you got a problem with one of Tony's aftermarkets. 1051 01:07:33,839 --> 01:07:36,603 Tell him to hold his water. I'm with a customer. 1052 01:07:36,675 --> 01:07:39,542 He said, " Go to hell and get your wrinkled ass on the phone." 1053 01:07:40,812 --> 01:07:43,679 Kick the tires. Look it over, do something. 1054 01:07:43,749 --> 01:07:45,808 I'll be right back. 1055 01:08:07,039 --> 01:08:09,303 So what do you think? Want me to gift-wrap her? 1056 01:08:09,374 --> 01:08:12,172 I was hoping you could suggest something else. 1057 01:08:12,244 --> 01:08:14,940 Listen, Mr. Pool, I have hundreds of cars. 1058 01:08:15,013 --> 01:08:16,947 You have to tell me what you're looking for. 1059 01:08:17,015 --> 01:08:19,506 I'm not the Kreskin of the junkyard. 1060 01:08:19,585 --> 01:08:21,553 You are Mr. Barron, right? 1061 01:08:21,620 --> 01:08:23,645 I sure as shit ain't jolly Saint Nick. 1062 01:08:27,292 --> 01:08:28,691 Shit. 1063 01:08:28,760 --> 01:08:30,591 I'd hate to be that guy. 1064 01:08:48,814 --> 01:08:51,009 Shit! 1065 01:08:51,083 --> 01:08:52,311 Fuck! 1066 01:08:52,384 --> 01:08:54,011 Damn! 1067 01:08:58,056 --> 01:09:00,547 What I'm saying is he fucking ripped me off! 1068 01:09:00,626 --> 01:09:02,685 There still could be a tape. 1069 01:09:02,761 --> 01:09:04,626 Why wouldn't he at least give you a copy, 1070 01:09:04,696 --> 01:09:06,823 just to let you know he has one? 1071 01:09:06,898 --> 01:09:09,196 I think he's full of shit. It doesn't make sense. 1072 01:09:09,268 --> 01:09:12,203 The fact that you think this guy deals with anything on a rational level 1073 01:09:12,271 --> 01:09:15,263 speaks volumes of how stupid you can be! 1074 01:09:17,709 --> 01:09:20,234 I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. 1075 01:09:21,513 --> 01:09:24,175 I know you're not used to me being the voice of reason, 1076 01:09:24,249 --> 01:09:26,240 but you have to do something. 1077 01:09:26,318 --> 01:09:29,048 You gave him a chance, you didn't get the tape. 1078 01:09:29,121 --> 01:09:30,952 You don't want to hear this, 1079 01:09:31,023 --> 01:09:34,288 - but you should go to the cops. - Let's get something straight. 1080 01:09:34,359 --> 01:09:36,384 Calling the cops is not an option. 1081 01:09:36,461 --> 01:09:38,691 Not until I decide it is. 1082 01:09:38,764 --> 01:09:41,961 He won't go away by himself. You haven't given him a reason. 1083 01:09:43,402 --> 01:09:45,029 I know. 1084 01:09:46,672 --> 01:09:48,663 I'll be right back. 1085 01:09:56,315 --> 01:09:58,510 - Hey! - Shitting with the common man? 1086 01:09:58,583 --> 01:10:00,813 I thought they built a throne for your golden asshole? 1087 01:10:00,886 --> 01:10:03,286 - What do you want? - An autograph! 1088 01:10:03,355 --> 01:10:06,119 We got your money. We spent some already. 1089 01:10:06,191 --> 01:10:10,525 We were talking over dinner on how you were a sweet boy, 1090 01:10:10,595 --> 01:10:12,859 so beautiful before the consummation. 1091 01:10:12,931 --> 01:10:16,128 We want an encore performance, 1092 01:10:16,201 --> 01:10:18,829 - where you get fucked hard. - Fuck this shit! 1093 01:10:18,904 --> 01:10:22,203 Easy. I wouldn't recommend declining the invite. 1094 01:10:22,274 --> 01:10:25,209 If I show that tape, you go back to being a party whore. 1095 01:10:25,277 --> 01:10:28,212 You don't show up, you get fucked in more ways than one. 1096 01:10:28,280 --> 01:10:30,908 I want to taste you again. 1097 01:10:30,982 --> 01:10:33,473 - Get your hands off me! - Oooh... 1098 01:10:33,552 --> 01:10:36,953 that's how I like it. I'll be in touch, Vulgar... 1099 01:10:38,123 --> 01:10:42,856 to let you know about the party. Make sure your tits hang out. 1100 01:10:42,928 --> 01:10:44,589 If you don't follow my rules, 1101 01:10:44,663 --> 01:10:47,962 people might see things that could get a corn-holer like yourself 1102 01:10:48,033 --> 01:10:50,558 into some pretty hot water. 1103 01:10:50,635 --> 01:10:52,899 I'm going to fuck you again! 1104 01:11:13,592 --> 01:11:16,026 Shit! What happened? 1105 01:11:16,094 --> 01:11:17,721 What happened? 1106 01:11:17,796 --> 01:11:19,263 He was waiting for me in the bathroom. 1107 01:11:19,331 --> 01:11:20,491 Shit! 1108 01:11:20,565 --> 01:11:23,329 - Did you call security? - They're gone. 1109 01:11:23,402 --> 01:11:24,767 Fuck. 1110 01:11:24,836 --> 01:11:26,497 What did he say? 1111 01:11:26,571 --> 01:11:28,038 He said... 1112 01:11:30,308 --> 01:11:33,004 he said he wants us to kill him. 1113 01:11:40,152 --> 01:11:42,120 Hey, man! 1114 01:11:42,187 --> 01:11:45,281 - Have you seen my shirt? - You're wearing a shirt. 1115 01:11:45,357 --> 01:11:47,086 Get back inside. 1116 01:11:48,160 --> 01:11:51,687 Good to see you. Haven't been down at the car wash in a while. 1117 01:11:51,763 --> 01:11:53,287 You know that tall jigger Lamont, 1118 01:11:53,365 --> 01:11:55,196 started working there about a month ago? 1119 01:11:55,267 --> 01:11:57,565 No. Can we go inside? 1120 01:11:57,636 --> 01:12:00,833 He's this big jerk-off claims I owe him 20 bucks. 1121 01:12:00,906 --> 01:12:02,464 "Fuck that shit," I said. 1122 01:12:02,541 --> 01:12:05,009 That's when... bam!... he hits me in the mouth! 1123 01:12:05,076 --> 01:12:07,271 Like I said, he's pretty tall, 1124 01:12:07,345 --> 01:12:11,179 so I'm going to stay away till he cools down. 1125 01:12:11,249 --> 01:12:12,807 Sounds like a good idea. 1126 01:12:12,884 --> 01:12:14,681 Yeah, Lamont, he's... 1127 01:12:14,753 --> 01:12:19,053 as tall as Jay James, but he's got the muscles of James, Sr. 1128 01:12:19,124 --> 01:12:21,888 He walks around like he owns the place, 1129 01:12:21,960 --> 01:12:25,225 slapping people in the mouth, taking people's jumpsuits. 1130 01:12:25,297 --> 01:12:28,266 I fucking hate it when that fuck's there. 1131 01:12:28,333 --> 01:12:30,563 Anybody around? 1132 01:12:37,809 --> 01:12:39,777 Don't mind the mess. 1133 01:12:39,845 --> 01:12:41,540 Hey, boy. 1134 01:12:42,814 --> 01:12:44,475 This is Larry. 1135 01:12:44,549 --> 01:12:46,642 I'm thinking of changing it to something else. 1136 01:12:46,718 --> 01:12:49,152 That name reminds me too much of Lamont. 1137 01:12:49,221 --> 01:12:52,213 - If only you were Lamont. - Tuott. 1138 01:12:52,290 --> 01:12:53,621 Sorry. 1139 01:12:53,692 --> 01:12:55,717 Can you give me a hand over here? 1140 01:12:59,531 --> 01:13:01,556 Can you believe I found this? 1141 01:13:01,633 --> 01:13:05,125 Right near the garbage just waiting for pick-up day. 1142 01:13:06,471 --> 01:13:09,963 Between you and me, I found it in some guy's garage. 1143 01:13:10,041 --> 01:13:12,066 I'm sure he would have thrown them out. 1144 01:13:12,143 --> 01:13:14,043 What an idiot. 1145 01:13:14,112 --> 01:13:17,104 These two don't have any bullets. 1146 01:13:17,182 --> 01:13:18,843 That's a BB gun. 1147 01:13:18,917 --> 01:13:19,884 Oh. 1148 01:13:19,951 --> 01:13:23,352 These two do have bullets. 1149 01:13:23,421 --> 01:13:26,151 And they come with these things that go on the end. 1150 01:13:26,224 --> 01:13:28,215 - Silencers? - Yeah. 1151 01:13:28,293 --> 01:13:30,386 They make the gunshots... 1152 01:13:30,462 --> 01:13:32,760 My friend told me that. 1153 01:13:32,831 --> 01:13:36,631 He said it's good because they don't have serial numbers. 1154 01:13:36,701 --> 01:13:38,760 You need any skag? 1155 01:13:38,837 --> 01:13:40,361 No, I'm good. 1156 01:13:46,211 --> 01:13:48,441 Do you feel like you're going to throw up? 1157 01:13:48,513 --> 01:13:50,811 I do. 1158 01:13:50,882 --> 01:13:53,373 Where did you get this car? Whose is it? 1159 01:13:53,451 --> 01:13:56,648 Would you calm down? You're making me nervous. 1160 01:13:56,721 --> 01:13:59,815 I bought it for cash. It's untraceable. 1161 01:13:59,891 --> 01:14:02,985 One of Tuott's associates helped me a little. 1162 01:14:03,061 --> 01:14:05,325 I can't believe so much of our faith 1163 01:14:05,397 --> 01:14:07,661 is placed in an arch-junkie. 1164 01:14:07,732 --> 01:14:10,326 We wouldn't have gotten this far if it weren't for him. 1165 01:14:10,402 --> 01:14:12,427 Thank God for Tuott. 1166 01:14:13,672 --> 01:14:16,505 I want to be certain of one thing. 1167 01:14:16,575 --> 01:14:18,372 Are you still 100% on this? 1168 01:14:18,443 --> 01:14:21,276 Yes. I told you that already. 1169 01:14:21,346 --> 01:14:23,906 I'm not going in there to have you pussy on me. 1170 01:14:23,982 --> 01:14:27,145 - We have to be in and out. - I know. 1171 01:14:27,218 --> 01:14:30,381 The longer we stay, the better chance we have of getting caught. 1172 01:14:30,455 --> 01:14:32,616 And if we get caught, we go to jail. 1173 01:14:32,691 --> 01:14:34,682 And what they did to you will seem like 1174 01:14:34,759 --> 01:14:37,057 a church social compared to what goes on in prison. 1175 01:14:37,128 --> 01:14:39,153 You've never even gotten a speeding ticket. 1176 01:14:39,230 --> 01:14:40,663 How would you know? 1177 01:14:40,732 --> 01:14:43,701 Did you ever see "Caged Heat"? It is the same thing, 1178 01:14:43,768 --> 01:14:46,635 except totally different, because you're with guys. 1179 01:14:49,341 --> 01:14:52,105 - Got some coffee change? - Sure don't. 1180 01:14:52,177 --> 01:14:55,374 Come on, just a quarter. It won't break your bank. 1181 01:14:55,447 --> 01:14:57,745 Fuck you, tightfist! 1182 01:15:00,785 --> 01:15:02,980 My legs feel like rubber. 1183 01:15:03,054 --> 01:15:05,454 Maybe they thought we called the cops. 1184 01:15:05,523 --> 01:15:08,287 - I doubt they're even in there. - They're in there. 1185 01:15:08,360 --> 01:15:11,488 - I'm scared. - So am I. 1186 01:15:11,563 --> 01:15:15,431 All right. Just walk in, do what you have to do... 1187 01:15:15,500 --> 01:15:18,333 in and out. Can't be any more dramatic than that. 1188 01:15:18,403 --> 01:15:21,998 - I'll be right behind you. - I sure hope so. 1189 01:15:38,356 --> 01:15:40,051 Hold on. 1190 01:15:40,125 --> 01:15:41,922 Is it him, Dad? 1191 01:15:41,993 --> 01:15:44,359 - Please God, let it be him. - Hold on. 1192 01:15:48,466 --> 01:15:52,027 Gentlemen, the hole has arrived. 1193 01:15:54,372 --> 01:15:56,772 Calm down! 1194 01:15:56,841 --> 01:15:58,536 Don't go blowing your loads yet. 1195 01:16:01,112 --> 01:16:03,580 Boom-boom, in and out. 1196 01:16:10,655 --> 01:16:13,283 - Are you alone? - What do you think? 1197 01:16:15,960 --> 01:16:18,258 Get your candy ass in here, then! 1198 01:16:26,371 --> 01:16:28,931 You must think your shit smells like a spring rain. 1199 01:16:29,007 --> 01:16:31,066 Walk right by me like I wasn't a person. 1200 01:16:31,142 --> 01:16:34,077 Next time I ask you a question, answer me. 1201 01:16:34,145 --> 01:16:36,045 - Got it? - Yeah. 1202 01:16:40,385 --> 01:16:42,979 It's mine now, motherfucker! 1203 01:16:47,459 --> 01:16:50,917 What do we have here? 1204 01:16:50,995 --> 01:16:54,226 Look at you and all your finery. 1205 01:16:54,299 --> 01:16:56,995 Isn't he easy on the eyes? 1206 01:16:57,068 --> 01:17:00,265 Not really, Pop. 1207 01:17:03,975 --> 01:17:06,068 Give me a hand, buttercup. 1208 01:17:06,144 --> 01:17:08,704 Let me lead you on a trip down on memory lane. 1209 01:17:08,780 --> 01:17:10,907 Do him like you did last time, Dad. 1210 01:17:10,982 --> 01:17:13,450 Gino, last time, Daddy had him... 1211 01:17:13,518 --> 01:17:18,080 - I know, because I was there. - No, you weren't, liar! 1212 01:17:18,156 --> 01:17:20,818 You're such an idiot! You know what I'm going to do? 1213 01:17:20,892 --> 01:17:23,224 I'll take you to court for slander. 1214 01:17:23,294 --> 01:17:27,492 - You're a law-breaking freak. - What are you talking about? 1215 01:17:31,236 --> 01:17:33,329 Shut up! You're scaring him! 1216 01:17:40,612 --> 01:17:43,206 Show us what you got hiding under there. 1217 01:17:54,192 --> 01:17:57,684 - Gino, are you getting this? - Yes. I'm not stupid. 1218 01:17:58,763 --> 01:18:00,731 A little more. 1219 01:18:10,241 --> 01:18:12,072 Shut that goddamn thing off! 1220 01:18:13,778 --> 01:18:16,872 I think somebody was fuzzy with the instructions. 1221 01:18:16,948 --> 01:18:18,939 What were you thinking when you got dressed? 1222 01:18:19,017 --> 01:18:21,042 You're here for me tonight. 1223 01:18:21,119 --> 01:18:24,919 Did that slip by you? Are you brain damaged? 1224 01:18:27,192 --> 01:18:30,218 Turn it on. Don't miss one second of this. 1225 01:18:30,295 --> 01:18:32,490 High and hard until we beat the shit out of him. 1226 01:18:32,564 --> 01:18:35,328 High and hard. No other way with a fuck like this. 1227 01:18:35,400 --> 01:18:36,662 You treat him... 1228 01:18:37,635 --> 01:18:39,364 Don't shoot. 1229 01:18:39,437 --> 01:18:41,462 We're sorry. 1230 01:18:41,539 --> 01:18:43,029 Oh God. 1231 01:18:44,876 --> 01:18:46,434 Is that the game we're playing? 1232 01:18:46,511 --> 01:18:49,036 You try to kill my boys, my flesh and blood? 1233 01:18:49,113 --> 01:18:52,241 As it stands, you've got the hardest night of your life ahead of you. 1234 01:18:52,317 --> 01:18:54,683 I hope you watched the sun rise this morning, 1235 01:18:54,752 --> 01:18:57,186 - 'cause it was your last chance. - Suck it! 1236 01:18:57,255 --> 01:18:58,347 Want me to shoot him? 1237 01:18:58,423 --> 01:19:00,220 Let me fucking shoot him, Daddy! 1238 01:19:00,291 --> 01:19:03,260 How does it feel? You know what's coming? 1239 01:19:04,429 --> 01:19:07,592 Don't fool with that thing. Dad, tell him to put it down. 1240 01:19:07,665 --> 01:19:09,633 Shut up, chicken-shit! 1241 01:19:09,701 --> 01:19:12,363 Cut it out! Dad, he's gonna hurt somebody. 1242 01:19:12,437 --> 01:19:15,270 Frankie, listen to your brother and put the gun away! 1243 01:19:19,544 --> 01:19:21,205 Frankie? 1244 01:19:22,280 --> 01:19:23,338 Frankie? 1245 01:19:23,414 --> 01:19:25,245 Frankie! You'll be all right. 1246 01:19:25,316 --> 01:19:26,908 Just a couple of stitches you'll need. 1247 01:19:27,986 --> 01:19:29,886 Frankie. 1248 01:19:29,954 --> 01:19:31,888 Listen to your dad! 1249 01:19:31,956 --> 01:19:34,424 Why did you do that to my brother? 1250 01:19:35,894 --> 01:19:39,125 My brother! You fucking, fuckhead! 1251 01:19:39,197 --> 01:19:40,425 You fucking pervert! 1252 01:19:45,703 --> 01:19:47,796 I got your man. I want some money! 1253 01:19:55,580 --> 01:19:58,140 Syd, get up! 1254 01:19:58,216 --> 01:19:59,911 I fucked up. We're going to get caught. 1255 01:19:59,984 --> 01:20:02,544 - What were we thinking? - Stop it. You didn't fuck up. 1256 01:20:02,620 --> 01:20:06,215 - Yes, I did! - You didn't! We won't get caught! 1257 01:20:11,362 --> 01:20:14,923 Get into the car and out of here, all right? 1258 01:20:14,999 --> 01:20:17,194 - Get out of here! - What about you? 1259 01:20:17,268 --> 01:20:20,362 I'll meet you back at the house. Go! 1260 01:21:09,988 --> 01:21:11,546 All right. You caught me. 1261 01:21:11,622 --> 01:21:13,453 Now what are you gonna do? Shoot me? 1262 01:21:13,524 --> 01:21:16,493 Go ahead, you piece of shit. Do it. 1263 01:21:16,561 --> 01:21:19,724 It doesn't matter anyway. You're finished, fuck-face! 1264 01:21:19,797 --> 01:21:21,731 Finished! You're a murderer now. 1265 01:21:21,799 --> 01:21:25,257 You killed my boys. You're going to prison. I have proof. 1266 01:21:26,337 --> 01:21:28,601 You don't have it in you anyway. 1267 01:21:30,608 --> 01:21:33,202 You're shaking. Even in this light I can see it. 1268 01:21:33,277 --> 01:21:36,144 You're scared. Just lie down and take it. 1269 01:21:36,214 --> 01:21:38,341 I know you haven't got the guts. 1270 01:21:38,416 --> 01:21:39,781 So do you. 1271 01:21:45,456 --> 01:21:47,219 Not like this. 1272 01:21:47,291 --> 01:21:49,851 By this fuck. 1273 01:21:53,831 --> 01:21:56,425 Goddamn you, fuck-face! 1274 01:22:48,953 --> 01:22:51,080 Fuck you! 1275 01:23:24,255 --> 01:23:26,723 Flappy! Flappy! 1276 01:23:31,395 --> 01:23:33,590 Get down! 1277 01:23:50,214 --> 01:23:54,207 Well, once again, injustice KO'd by Flappy, 1278 01:23:54,285 --> 01:23:58,949 of Flappy Funhouse fame and our Special Girl Friday, Bella. 1279 01:23:59,023 --> 01:24:02,151 Let's have a big round of applause! 1280 01:24:02,226 --> 01:24:05,252 And let's have a bigger round of good-natured boos 1281 01:24:05,329 --> 01:24:07,490 for our purveyors of quite a bit of nastiness 1282 01:24:07,565 --> 01:24:09,192 around Flappy's Funhouse. 1283 01:24:09,267 --> 01:24:11,633 Our criminal clown brigade! 1284 01:24:16,474 --> 01:24:18,772 Thanks, Bella. 1285 01:24:20,711 --> 01:24:24,010 Now, that's all the time we have for today, kids. 1286 01:24:26,484 --> 01:24:29,214 Don't be like these guys. Stay in school, 1287 01:24:29,287 --> 01:24:32,654 and take care of yourselves. 'Cause you know what? 1288 01:24:32,723 --> 01:24:36,124 You're the only you you've got. 1289 01:24:36,194 --> 01:24:38,685 And I'm not clowning around. 1290 01:24:44,535 --> 01:24:47,561 ♪ Kids, don't feel down, 'cause guess who's in town? ♪ 1291 01:24:47,638 --> 01:24:50,539 ♪ You know who's around? Flappy the clown ♪ 1292 01:24:50,608 --> 01:24:53,441 ♪ If you feel blue, he'll smile for you ♪ 1293 01:24:53,511 --> 01:24:56,446 ♪ He knows what to do, flappin' at you ♪ 1294 01:24:56,514 --> 01:24:59,415 ♪ When you're not sure if you'll see the light of day ♪ 1295 01:24:59,483 --> 01:25:03,385 ♪ He'll make you smile and play with you, he does it every day ♪ 1296 01:25:03,454 --> 01:25:06,719 ♪ Hey! Kids, don't feel down, 'cause guess who's in town? ♪ 1297 01:25:06,791 --> 01:25:10,283 ♪ You know who's around? Flappy the clown ♪ 1298 01:25:34,952 --> 01:25:37,853 ♪ Kids, don't feel down, 'cause guess who's in town? ♪ 1299 01:25:37,922 --> 01:25:40,982 ♪ You know who's around? Flappy the clown ♪ 1300 01:25:41,058 --> 01:25:43,856 ♪ If you feel blue he'll smile for you ♪ 1301 01:25:43,928 --> 01:25:46,829 ♪ He knows what to do, flappin' at you ♪ 1302 01:25:46,897 --> 01:25:49,991 ♪ When you're not sure if you'll see the light of day ♪ 1303 01:25:50,067 --> 01:25:53,434 ♪ He'll make you smile and play with you, he does it every day ♪ 1304 01:25:55,306 --> 01:25:56,933 ♪ Hey! ♪ 1305 01:26:03,347 --> 01:26:06,248 ♪ Kids, don't feel down, guess who's in town? ♪ 1306 01:26:06,317 --> 01:26:09,650 ♪ You know who's around? Flappy the clown ♪ 1307 01:26:09,720 --> 01:26:12,052 ♪ If you feel blue, he'll smile for you ♪ 1308 01:26:12,123 --> 01:26:15,320 ♪ He knows what to do, flappin' at you ♪ 1309 01:26:15,393 --> 01:26:18,362 ♪ So when you're not sure if you'll see the light of day ♪ 1310 01:26:18,429 --> 01:26:23,560 ♪ He'll make you smile and play with you, he does it every day ♪ 1311 01:26:23,634 --> 01:26:27,126 ♪ Hey! Kids, don't feel down, 'cause guess who's in town? ♪ 1312 01:26:27,204 --> 01:26:30,435 ♪ You know who's around? Flappy the clown ♪ 1313 01:26:41,352 --> 01:26:44,651 ♪ Hey! Kids don't feel down, 'cause guess who's in town? ♪ 1314 01:26:44,722 --> 01:26:48,522 ♪ You know who's around? Flappy the clown. ♪101165