Original subtitles

Joe is a Traitor.

And that's because on the night I tried to raise

the idea that Joe was a Traitor,

I came very close to being banished, myself.

This programme contains some strong language.

You have chosen to own the game. Why?

I am...

and have always been...

a Traitor. Oh, fuck.

I'm so sorry.

It's been tearing me apart. I'm so sorry.

You did brilliantly.

You did. You did brilliant.

It's a game.

You did absolutely brilliant. That was amazing.

Hello, and welcome to

The Celebrity Traitors Uncloaked grand finale.

I'm Ed Gamble, and we're going to be unpacking everything from

that jaw-dropping last episode with all our finalists.

We're here at the BBC Radio Theatre with a studio audience full of our

all-star cast of celebrity Faithful and Traitors.

And how amazing do they all look? You look incredible.

Coming up, Claudia Winkleman is here to finally discuss the show

she usually has to avoid talking about.

Cat, Joe, David and Nick will be on this stage

to decompress from

that unbelievably stressful final day,

and our winner, Alan,

will be joining us to tell us what it takes to go all the way.

Get yourself comfy

because this is The Celebrity Traitors Uncloaked finale.

What a final episode. I mean, I was so stressed that I am... Well,

let's just say Celia would have been proud.

We're going to be speaking to the finalists shortly.

But first off, I am joined by the

fingerless-glove-wearing legend that is Claudia Winkleman.

Hello. Claudia, welcome. Welcome back to Uncloaked.

You've just seen that very, very tense finale.

How did you feel watching it back?

Um, quite emotional.

Can I just show everybody my T-shirt?

Absolutely. There he is.

Um, because even though obviously I was there...

Um, yes. Just watching it back, because I don't

watch the other ones back... So, yeah, it was a lot.

And it's just amazing that our cast are here.

The atmosphere in this room was electric. Yeah.

I mean, I'm not a football fan,

but I'd imagine this is what it feels

like to watch England score a big goal.

You see? It was amazing. Yeah. Yeah. What was it like

at the time, though?

Obviously watching it back is a different experience.

What was it like when you were in the room for that endgame?

Well, unbelievable. I mean,

my knees were knocking because I'm incredibly nervous.

And, um, it is, without sounding like a total tool, it is an absolute

privilege to always be in those, uh, at those Round Tables.

But, yeah, the endgame was quite something.

And when the third green pouch went

in and I realised what was happening...

People have seen this now. I imagine there's already

videos going up online of pubs,

people watching it, and pints just flying in the air.

It was because you feel, I feel, so protective of them all.

You feel for them individually.

I love Nick because all he could just say was, "Joe!"

And Joe was utterly brilliant. You know, that moment he went,

"I've worked out who they are." It was like a pull focus.

I was like, "Watch him go." And then Cat,

who was extraordinary throughout,

was so brilliant in the Turret, and the fact they caught...

You know, the whole thing was sort of highly emotional.

You gave a speech to them quite early on

in the game about how people lie

to them all of the time, because they're celebrities. Always.

I loved that speech. Do you think that sort of

thing makes the game harder for celebrities?

Um, I don't know

whether it makes it harder for them, but I felt there were two things.

One, the Traitors were utterly brilliant,

and two, there was only so much they could do.

Um, but it is a hard game. You know, the absolute

star of this whole thing is the game is addictive.

It takes over. It's hard for anyone. But what I also love is

because people watch at home sometimes

and sometimes people will say to me, "How do they not know?"

You don't know. It's very easy when you're watching at home,

but when you're sitting there, it is almost impossible.

Now, I know you're very fond of everyone who played the game,

but I know you had a particular fondness for one player.

I'm talking about the national treasure that is Celia Imrie.

Oh, my gosh. What is it in particular that draws you to Celia?

She is so twinkly.

I've never met anybody that twinkly. I've always loved Celia.

So when they said, "Celia's taking part,"

I was like, "Are you joking?

"The actual or like a tribute?" "No, the actual."

And I'm not allowed - I have to be like Cruella de Vil,

which I find difficult because I just wanted to go,

"Oh, I love your song, and you're brilliant."

And so I'm not allowed. I'm just, like,

strict and fluorescent orange. And there was one point

when I was standing next to Celia and just out the corner of my mouth,

I thought the producers wouldn't hear it,

so I just went, "Obsessed."

And she was like, "Thank you."

Celia, it's wonderful

to hear, you know, how much Claudia loves you.

But we want to know, have you got any better at snooping?

No. Not really. Really not. Um, I'm just...

Um, the thing is

that you said you were obsessed after I'd admitted I was two-faced.

That's why we were all obsessed by you.

Because Celia...

My other favourite thing that Celia did is she would say,

"You are dazzling,"

and then write their name on the board.

It was so compelling.

Someone else who didn't make the final,

Niko, unfortunately, you went out quite early.

But how was it watching that back?

Do you think there was some good gameplay in there?

Um, yeah, I mean, Joe, I was very impressed with.

I just can't believe it was

bottled at the end at the final, in the final moment.

But, yeah, it's a very tough game.

I do feel in a way like I made it to the final

because I have the same name as Nick.

So... You were there. Yeah. So, yeah. Almost won.

Now, we're going to be hearing

from our finalists and our winner quite soon.

But first, Claudia, you were the hostess with the mostest,

and thank you so much for entertaining us week after week.

And I know you hate this bit. I hate...

I know you hate the compliments.

Well, you're going to hate this bit even more

because let's have a look at your best bits.

Tiny word of warning. Don't relax too much.

Tomorrow, the killing spree begins.

This isn't personal, but it is tradition. Oh!

I know you're thinking it, so I'm going to say it.

They've just dug their own graves.

Nothing like the sound of screaming celebrities.

Stephen Fry's in the water. I can't...

Faithful, you are breaking my heart.

You are famous. People lie to you all the time.

I love that show. It's a great jacket.

I listened to that particular podcast twice.

What just happened? I just farted, Claudia.

But I always own up. I always own up, too.

Well done.

We'll get you out with the others, shortly.

No immediate rush.

Come to me. Come on!

Quick, quick, quick!

We did it!

That was better than my wedding day.

Thank you, Claudia. Thank you.

Iconic as ever. Thank you, Claudia. We'll be talking to our winner,

Alan, soon. But with me now,

I'm thrilled to welcome our four runners-up,

Cat, Joe, David and Nick!

Well, we're very excited to have you

with us here for this very special finale.

Cat, let's talk about that final Round Table,

because going into it, you and Alan were very confident. Yeah.

I mean, erring on cocky, would you say? You were sort of

very sure that Joe was on your side. Yeah, we were.

You know, I was hoodwinked by Joe.

Um, I did think... I did think

that you were going to be the deciding vote,

because I was like... I knew Nick was going to vote for me.

And then I knew realistically,

David would vote for me too. So then I was like,

it's going to be Joe.

And I did think that you were going to go for David.

And then it was

when the conversation on the Round Table, it was varied,

but then towards the end of the conversation,

I was like, um, I feel like Joe's going to vote for me,

and you couldn't look me in the eye.

So that's when I was like, yeah, my time's done,

I had a good run, and then I got dashed.

But even when we were in Scotland speaking,

I think you were still under the impression

that Joe changed his mind last minute.

How does it feel watching it back and knowing

that was pretty much Joe's plan all along?

I think it's just fabulous television.

I just think it's so funny that me and Alan are like,

"Yeah, yeah, we've got this, we've got this."

And Joe's like, "I know it's them two and I'm going to get them out."

I just think it's great telly.

At what point did you start to suspect Cat?

Because I think from our perspective as a viewer,

you were sort of sniffing around some Traitors.

But then in that episode eight, you were like,

"It's Alan and Cat," and just blew everyone away.

Yeah, I think I worked it out on day one that it was Jonathan,

Cat and Alan, but I was having so much fun in there.

Yeah. Um, no...

the shield cock-ups from Jonathan and Alan,

they were the sort of giveaways

for me that I was like, "Hmm, I like shields,

"you don't seem to like them as much as me."

Now, Nick, you were suspicious of Cat from,

I think, episode five. Yeah.

But you decided to keep that to yourself.

Yeah. Which is a very clever plan.

But how do you feel about how the plan played out in the end?

Oh, I think I thought I was being clever,

and then it all just backfired a little bit.

I think as soon as you...

There was one Round Table where you voted for David

that felt just...

just didn't ring true, for some reason.

And I thought...

And at first I thought it was you and Lucy,

I remember thinking it was you, Lucy and Jonathan. Yeah.

And I thought you and Lucy were in cahoots.

But that was wrong. I mean, I was wrong

pretty much every single step of the way, in every episode, I think.

I don't think that's true at all.

I think there were people that were more wrong than you.

OK. And I'm naming no names.

David, next question for you...

What do you think it was about Cat's game

that meant that so few people suspected

her right up until the end?

Well, I think a number of people did suspect Cat,

but we did this thing where we would suspect somebody, have

a conversation with one other person and then totally forget

that at the Round Table.

We just kept doing the same thing.

We'd, you know... I think we had a conversation,

I think, episode five, about Cat. And then we both voted

for somebody else at the Round Table.

So there was not much... I think you voted for me. Yeah.

I was, yeah. That's what I meant by "somebody else".

Cat, the night you go into the Turret

to meet your fellow Traitors and you see it's Alan and Jonathan,

how confident are you at that point

that you can move through the game as a group of Traitors?

I just found it so funny when it was Alan, I couldn't hold it in.

I think... I was really confident

because I just thought it was quite a rogue trio.

Like, I really didn't expect it to be me.

And then when Claudia tapped me, I was like,

"Oh, my God, what the heck?"

So when I saw it was Alan, I was like...

when I saw it was Alan and Jonathan, I was like,

"I feel like we can get pretty far because Jonathan's a great talker."

As we could see. He got through so many Round Tables. And then Alan,

all he had to do was go...

and everyone just went, "Oh, it's not him."

So it was a fabulous trio. Well, yeah,

one of the big dogs is out the kennel.

Jonathan is with us here.

You seemed very pleased that Cat and Alan were your comrades,

Jonathan. Do you think it's the difference in personalities

that made you confident about the group?

I think I was just, I mean,

I was just happy to see someone else up there with me.

I mean, but, I mean, I know Cat a little bit,

and I knew how calm she is, and I know how she presents

as being very calm, so I thought that would be useful.

And when Alan came in,

I just think, you know, he's so much fun to spend time with.

I mean, looking back now, Alan played a far more kind

of tactical game than I thought he was at the time.

He was far cleverer with it,

and I knew you were very tactical as well.

A lot of the time, I mean, a lot of the time

we'd go up there and I'd say,

"I think we should kill so-and-so." And they both talked me round,

and we wound up killing someone who I really thought

we shouldn't kill. But they had a better grasp of the game, I think,

really. Are you happy

that it was a Traitors' win in the end?

Oh, yeah. That's all I really wanted.

I mean, you know, and that's what I think is probably different

about this version of the game to the regular version,

is that it does become more like the two teams against each other,

but I really wanted to see one of them, or ideally two of them,

get through to the end. And you did, of course.

But having watched last week's episode,

there's no way I thought either of you were going to survive.

And for that, I think we do need to thank Nick.

You're very welcome.

JOE: Let's thank him, shall we?

I cannot, I cannot believe...

We'll get to it, Joe. Don't worry, we'll get to it.

You will have your chance to have a say.

The handy p collapse!

It's amazing being in the room with your stare.

It really is unsettling, Joe. My stare? Your stare, yeah.

Oh, yeah, the stare. Yeah, the stare.

What is the stare? It's your face!

Thank you. How did it feel watching the final back? Yeah, it was fine.

No issues whatsoever. Um, me and Nick are

all right. Me and David are all right. Uh,

just struggle to make eye contact with them from now on.

I mean, I was sitting in the row in front of you watching that,

and when you saw you get banished,

you did shout "scumbags" at them. Did I?

No, I didn't mean that.

I didn't mean that, I was... I just couldn't work out...

I still... I don't think until we spoke... I said, "What was it?"

And it was because I was, like you just said,

being polite and saying... I wasn't saying sorry to Cat

because I was Judas-ing her like you did me... I was so convinced.

I was saying sorry to Cat

because I really liked her and enjoyed my time together.

Sorry, mate. You know... When Joe... What happened?

When Joe and I text each other after we got out of the castle,

he continually refers to me as Judas,

and then occasionally replaces

the U with a heart, which is quite nice.

You were arguably, Joe, the most accurate Traitor hunter.

Mm-hm. Because you got Cat and Alan correct.

I mean, you were more on a Traitor safari.

You didn't actually hunt all of the Traitors.

And, of course, you were the leader of the big dog theory.

I mean, how did you do it?

Because you seemed to have all these brilliant theories,

but you couldn't quite convince everyone of them.

Well, yeah.

They were sort of stolen theories,

the majority. I was like, "Oh, that sounds good. That...

"Yeah. Yeah, we'll go with that one and then amalgamate one."

And then trying to convince the rest of the players to get round it

was a lot harder than I thought.

Kate, why do you think people latched on to the big dog theory

and not other theories, for example, the sun-dried tomato theory?

I can't... I can't imagine.

I'm genuinely flabbergasted that they didn't go with...

I mean, the sun-dried tomato -

it's very, very common in criminal law,

the sun-dried tomato theory.

So, yeah, it's weird, isn't it?

David, I want to ask you about that final Round Table,

because obviously it came to two apiece for you and Cat.

You'd obviously had a lot of suspicion on you... Yeah.

Throughout the game,

including that incredibly tense Round Table with Mark. Yeah.

Yeah, I remember.

Did you think that this was it for you?

Did you think your luck had finally run out?

I was mainly thinking that this was our kind of last chance

to try to get a Traitor.

I wasn't really thinking about me getting voted out,

and I had come round to that point by talking to Nick in particular,

thinking it was Cat.

So I was mainly focused on - can we get a Traitor?

Joe's grand plan went up in flames, sadly. Sorry, Joe.

How did it feel in that moment when David and Nick voted for you?

Cos you seemed genuinely surprised.

I think you'd been amazing throughout the game of putting on

a face and really, really sort of psyching people out

a little bit and maintaining this character.

And you're doing it to me now, and I know what you're doing, Joe.

But in that moment,

you seemed to drop everything, and you were genuinely surprised.

I was...

It was a combination of, like, gutted.

I was like, "Oh, no, I really...

"Like, this has backfired, massively.

"What have I got wrong?"

And then I just wanted... I was desperate to get out

and go, "Right, where's Cat?

"I need, like, to see you." I knew you were a Traitor,

but I was like, "I just need to see you."

I'm sorry I voted you. Even though it was a Traitor,

it was... Yeah, it was a surprise.

But there's no hard feelings at all cos, ultimately,

it was just a really, really big, fun game.

You'd said you had some suspicions over Alan.

I did. And then you didn't vote for him.

You didn't vote to carry on the game.

I didn't vote... I didn't vote for Alan once

in the whole show, I think.

But going into that endgame, you were like,

"I've got some suspicion."

And the way the game works is that

if no-one's saying whether they're Traitor or Faithful,

the safe thing to do would be to carry the game on.

Yeah. But you didn't. You didn't do that.

Can you talk us through the thought process?

I just don't know what I was thinking.

I feel like...

Alan's just very...

Alan is incredibly persuasive because he is so relaxed

and he is so Alan and he's so...

He was just so convincing throughout the whole game.

And I just was like, "You know what? I think...

"I think we've got it.

"I think we've now just got that final Traitor,"

which I believed to be Joe at that point.

How did it feel watching the final back?

It was... I mean, I was sat behind you, so...

I was just an absolute wreck.

It's so great. It's such great telly.

Can I...? Big shout-out.

I don't know the name of who composes the score,

but the score is absolutely phenomenal. Yes! Yeah.

Because it is... It is so...

It feels like you're watching a Marvel movie or something.

It is just cliff-hanger, suspense, release, suspension, tense...

It is all the emotions, and that last, yeah,

that last 15, 20 minutes,

I was just clinging on to Joe and shouting at Cat.

It was brilliant, Nick.

Me and Nick bumped into each other in town the other day

and he dragged me down a dark alley.

It was very Traitors-esque.

He dragged me down a dark alley and went,

"Everyone's going to hate me."

But we don't hate him, do we, at all? No!

That wasn't everyone. OK.

Was about 30%. God!

And then came the time to reveal your identities.

But before we discuss that with our winner, Alan,

I have my own reveal to do.

I've been teasing on Uncloaked

about my secret cameo in the main show,

and have been telling you at home to watch out for my Easter Ed.

Did you spot me?

Well, I can now exclusively reveal where I was hiding.

For me, the only time I saw you ever intimidated in the game,

Joe, do you remember the mission in the cabin?

Mmm. So as you approach, there's druids lining the path.

Yes. And then there's one druid in the middle.

They swing your door open

and pull you out of the car. Pulled me out the car.

You seemed very scared by that guy.

My adrenaline did spike. Yeah.

And I was like, "I'm going for this one."

From what I could tell, the druid wasn't scared of you at all.

And he did... He did really, really well.

He did do really well. Yeah.

Even though he's not normally a druid.

What's that f... What...

Would you like to tell me...

Yes... who was that druid?

Me. I was the druid.

You were that druid?! I was that druid, yeah.

Are you taking...

Are you taking the mick?

I was the druid.

I was ready to fill you in.

Cos you kept going... You kept going,

"Oh, you're just going to touch me, are you?"

This is so good!

Yes. I wasn't the drummer from episode eight.

I was, in fact, a druid.

Nick, you were the other person I dragged from the Land Rover there.

Yeah. Yep. Do you want to...? I mean, we did tell you,

we did film a reveal. Do you want to tell everyone what happened

when I revealed to you that I was the druid?

Well, from memory, I mean,

I knew that it was you right from the start

cos I could see your eyes.

And Ed and I were at uni together.

I was slightly after him.

And so I've known Ed for ages.

I was like, "Well, that's Ed."

I was gutted when you told me.

I was so excited to reveal it to you.

And it was a... There was a real, actually, sense of relief.

I was like, "Oh, one of my friends is here!"

It was really... It was really nice.

But, yeah, I mean, I knew it was you instantly.

Well, now's the time you've all been waiting for.

After sweating and worrying he'd be worse than Linda

to cold-bloodedly killing his friends,

our winner, Alan, is about to join me.

But first, here's the moment he spoke to me in the castle

just after he pulled the charity prize money

from underneath Nick and David's noses.

Here he is.

Hello. How are you? Oh, the winner!

The winner. You! Oh.

Welcome to Uncloaked, Alan.

Oh, thanks for having me, Ed.

Congratulations, the winner.

I know, it still hasn't sunk in.

It's insane, isn't it? It is insane.

When Claudia initially selected you as a Traitor,

did you ever in your wildest dreams see yourself at that endgame

and winning the whole of the show?

No, no, no, no, no. I did not even think I would get this far.

My agent, this is a little exclusive,

had actually booked in things for the second week...

because he said,

"Alan," he said, "with your poker face,

"you'll be out two days in."

And I actually believed him.

And that's even before you knew

whether you were a Traitor or a Faithful,

you'd just assumed, whichever you were,

you were going to go out early. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

I mean, I'm like that when I go through customs -

I start sweating. You know, when I go into a newsagent's

and it says, "No shoplifting,"

I'm like, "Oh," like that. You know?

It's just... I just feel like I'm guilty,

and I've got the worst poker face going.

I mean, it's like a tug-of-war with my face.

That endgame, as well, felt like the first time

that we saw serious Alan in the game. Yeah.

Yeah. Was that a challenge?

Did you suddenly feel different at that endgame?

I did feel different.

And it's that weird irony -

the more missions you do,

the more you spend time with people,

you are like a family, and that's cheesy and bleurgh!

But it is true because when you see the money behind, I mean,

£87,500 for a charity,

that's when, yeah, "Come on, Alan, stop giggling."

Celia said something lovely to me before I murdered her.

She said...

She said, "Alan, you're surprising.

"You surprised me the way you ran across that bridge."

And I thought,

"Well, that's the best you can do, is surprise yourself."

So, yeah. Alan, are you proud of how well you played the game?

So proud. Really, really proud.

I found out about myself -

I can be a chameleon,

I can chat to people, I can lie, I can...

When the pressure's on, I can do it.

When Stephen Fry talks or David talks,

I go quiet.

I'm not worthy, I'm not intelligent.

But maybe sometimes you do need to question,

stand up for yourself and go,

"Actually, I think this."

Yeah. So, yeah, yeah.

I think, well, I think you winning has absolutely proved that.

Yeah. Idiots can do well.

The winner of the first UK Celebrity Traitors,

it's Alan Carr!

There it is.

Alan, congratulations again.

What a huge triumph.

Is it fair to say that no-one is more shocked than you

that you managed to pull this off?

I am so shocked. And it is true what I said.

I had to ring up my... the woman who was dog-sitting my dogs

because I thought I'd be back after two days.

And I said, "You've got them for another week."

And it just kept getting more and more and more.

Completely surprised.

I don't know how this happened!

I really don't.

Look, and when we were watching it back,

you got a big standing ovation right at the end there.

Oh, I know, I know. It's so amazing.

I feel... I do feel bad for doing it,

but I mean, what can you do?

It's... You know, I mean, I felt bad. Yeah!

But you played the game and you were incredible at it. I know.

I know, I know. I know.

How did it feel watching the endgame back?

Oh, God. So emotional.

I mean, me crying as well!

I mean, cos I couldn't remember how -

cos Joe was onto us,

and I couldn't remember how you got voted out,

but then I lied and said you'd told us all to vote for David,

and I'd forgotten I'd lied!

What have I become?

You did quite a lot of lying, actually, Alan.

I did loads of lying! And I started loving it.

I just hope there's not, like, a murder in my street.

You know what I mean? I open the door. "Hello, officer."

"I didn't see anything."

So, yeah. I mean, it just comes really naturally to me.

I mean, yeah.

Can we talk... Can we talk about your journey

from sweaty Alan to serial killer Alan?

Yes, please.

What was the moment that you dried out and thought,

"I can do this"?

Well, it was when I...

When I killed Paloma...

I... Give me a break!

Because the thing is, when I killed Paloma, yeah,

I felt sick inside.

And you've got to remember,

it was such a cruel twist to touch someone's face.

Now you're the only... Maybe... And Jonathan was a Traitor.

I couldn't do it. I mean, if I touched any of these other faces,

I'd be sent to HR, you know?

"Oh, Ruth. Hello!"

You know, I can't, so...

And then when she came down for breakfast the next day,

I went, "Oh." Cos I felt so sick, I thought,

"Oh, good, she hasn't been murdered."

I was so pleased. "Lovely."

And then we go outside,

you're dressed as Queen Victoria.

We then go to a funeral.

I then see one of my best friends put in a coffin

and sent off. I went, "This is not going well.

"This is not what I wanted." You know?

But then I got a taste for it.

I couldn't stop. Yeah.

And then after I killed Paloma, then I got all the gays getting...

Because of when we killed Tom Daley.

"Oh, great, Alan,

"killing off all the eye candy." I'm like, "Hello?"

And...

And then...

And then I saw him in the shower soaping himself up. Yeah.

And I thought, "Argh! I killed too soon."

"Maybe one more week, maybe one more week."

But then, you go...

I think it's fair to say there are a few moments

throughout your time on the show where we might have thought,

as viewers, "I'm not sure if Alan can pull this off."

One of them was certainly when you had to say,

"I am a Faithful," to everyone... Oh, my God.

And laughed halfway through.

How do you adjust your game plan after things like that?

And do you adjust your game plan?

Well, I thought I was finished then.

I thought I was finished

when I went, "I'm... Faithful!"

I thought, "Oh, that's it."

And then Joe was onto me.

And, yeah, I just sort of gave up, really.

But I'm... But that's one thing I found out about myself.

I am like a bit of a pushover.

But when Joe is onto me,

I'm like one of those cats you get in Greece.

You know, those ones that are like... You go, "Oh, hello."

You know, you go, "Oh, hello! You look quite cu..."

Claudia, did you ever doubt Alan's ability to pull this off?

Yeah.

Erm...

No, erm, I can say...

I hope you don't mind this.

But Alan started as Linda and ended as Harry. Mmm.

He had an extraordinary - because at the beginning,

when you came up to me,

"I'm... I can't do it."

And he was like, "I'm sweating, I can't keep a straight face."

But he was absolutely...

A, you're utterly brilliant,

incredibly clever and totally consistent.

So Alan was Alan. And if you didn't suspect him from day one, it's Alan.

He can't say, "I'm a Faithful,"

he's forgotten he's had a shield.

My favourite Alan moment, almost, was you talking to Celia.

And Celia said, "Can I trust you?"

And you went, "You can trust me."

And you had snakes all over your top!

And I was like, "It's right there, guys."

But it's interesting.

I thought, I'm quite happy, at the beginning, to be a Faithful.

And then, of course, when you're sitting there

and you've got the blindfold on and you pick...

I mean, I don't know what shoes you're wearing,

but you sounded like a shire horse.

I get a bit flamenco.

And then when you went round and didn't touch me,

there was a little bit like,

"Oh, OK, I'm going to be a Faithful. That's fine."

So I realised deep inside, I probably did want to be a Traitor.

And then of course, you come around again

and then when you squeezed my shoulders I was like, "Oh, my God."

But you were so sweet.

Cos those chats I have with everyone,

they're much longer than you see.

And as I said, there are some people who just don't even...

Mark, like, "I only want to be a Faithful."

Erm, and many others.

And then, you going, "Did you really say that?"

I was like... That, literally, word for word is what you said.

Erm... And you said, "Yeah, I want to be a Traitor."

And then burst out laughing and we were like, "Oh, yeah, fun."

I think if I did have a strategy, I think it was... Look at me now,

now I've won, I've got a strategy!

I think what I did was I picked one...

I mean, if I was pushed to do a strategy, like with Clare,

I wouldn't let her go about the lever.

Yes. And then with Mark, you know when you get all Braveheart -

"I want to win!" - like that?

I said, "Why are you being all like this?"

And then poor old Kate, I was making out she was

Goldie Hawn, this dizzy blonde.

I just kept saying to people, "Why? Why? You know,

"she's a broadcaster. She's live on the telly every morning. Why?"

That's what I was doing. I mean,

have you seen that brilliant thing on social media -

Kate Garraway repeats everything - have you seen it?

"Someone's been recruited." "Someone's been recruited!"

"Sun-dried tomatoes." "Sun-dried tomatoes!"

But, I mean, I think if I had a strategy, I just picked one thing

and really went, "Oh, I don't know about them.

"They give me the heebie-jeebies." I mean,

I hate to bang on too much about the Trojan Horse mission,

but I do want to chat to you a little bit, Clare.

Are you still... Are you still kicking yourself

for pulling the lever? Oh, God, yes,

and will do for a very long time. It was awful. As Alice, my wife,

said to me, "For God's sake, there would have been no-one left onstage!

"26?! What were you thinking?!" I was like,

well, I just thought, start high and come down,

because we'll get more chances. They're working it out,

Mark and Stephen are working it out,

and I'll just start trying.

And I was conscious of time. By the way,

it makes total sense. Yeah. It makes total sense.

Normally... You're very sweet. No, but when you see

those kinds of locks - you know, like a padlock? -

you have a couple of goes. That's what you did... Yeah.

On the train, in fact. So it made total sense to me. No,

I still feel really bad about it. And then I sort of shrank.

But somebody talked to me the other day about it,

and he's a legal advocate, and he said,

"Although you made the mistake, at least you did put your hand up

"straight away and go, 'Oh, my God, I am so sorry.'"

And then Charlotte gave her shield up straight away,

for which she didn't get enough credit,

so I'm giving her credit now. Yes.

And we carried on and we still won the mission.

So actually, it didn't cost, it didn't cost us anything money-wise.

Yeah. I just looked a major tit,

so I'm happy to take that for the team. I'll just take the idiot,

you know, mantle. No, you weren't. No-one thinks that, Clare.

Mark, I've just noticed you're wearing a T-shirt, though.

Will you tell us what the T-shirt says?

It says, "Jonathan Fucking Ross".

I... I would like to say I have given him one too...

Oh, right, OK, good! ..as his early

Christmas present. That's brilliant!

We have to talk about that final mission,

because that was amazing. It looked incredible.

The explosion at the end. Cat,

how much did you enjoy that final mission?

Your one last chance to get money for the pot.

It was really fun. I mean,

if I'm being honest, I really probably didn't do anything.

It was mainly Joe. As I was to, like, grab something,

then I saw the, like, having to take off the thing off the coffin,

and I was like, "Oh, that's going to hurt my hands!"

That's why you did it.

You just sort of did everything and I was like, "Oh, yay! The boys

"are doing things." What about...?

I think my favourite moment of that mission, though,

was Nick dropping the lid on Joe's head... Oh!

Repeatedly, and I just hope

you are friends now. NICK: It was a precursor of

what was to come, really, I think. Yeah. I should have known then.

Three times, mate! Three times.

It sounds really loud when you watch it back as well.

Oh, it was. I mean, it literally was a wooden lid

dropping on his head repeatedly...

Yeah... while we were basically watching the new Chuckle Brothers!

Incredible!

Alan, you forgot you had a shield and, obviously, Joe,

Joe picked up on this. Mm.

Joe, why do you think no-one else got on board with this?

Because it seemed to be one of the clearest bits of evidence

you had that Alan was a Traitor.

Again, a combination of not really backing myself to convince everyone,

but also, I was madly in love with Alan as well. Yeah.

Like, even when I went after him

and he came back at me like the Greek cat,

I then was like,

"Oh, bless!"

I was like, "Mm, OK, fair enough."

So, yeah, I think there might have been something inside me

that was like, "I quite like Alan still being in the game."

Because we were duped, weren't we? He was being

really friendly to us, weren't he? Yeah. And we were like, we couldn't

believe our luck, because Joe was coming and sitting with us, going,

"I think it's Nick and David." We thought we'd won.

And we're like, "Yeah, Joe, yeah!" Yeah. High-fiving and all that.

And then... That bit where you went, "Oh, bless him!" as I walked off -

and I've only just seen that - I went, "Oh, OK. I see."

But then when you put Cat on the sleigh,

I couldn't... I mean, that was like

a punch in the stomach. Yeah. Mm.

That was... I was like, "Don't leave me here! Don't leave me here!"

Nick and David, obviously, neither of you

went for Alan in the end. What is it about Alan Carr

that made you eventually decide he was a Faithful?

Alan could have come down to breakfast

in a green cloak and I still wouldn't have thought

he was a Traitor!

I... I just thought someone who was a Traitor

would look a bit less guilty the whole time. And you just...

Alan was being himself. And also, it's, you know, it's the thing,

you just made me laugh the whole time.

Aw, that's very sweet! Yeah. I was too busy laughing...

Aw! ..to be suspicious.

NICK: I think it's something that...

I think it's something... I think it's something that Tom said,

actually, really, really early on, was that

comedians, or some of the stand-ups,

could sort of slightly deflect by just making you laugh...

CAT: I said that. Was it you said that?

Yeah. Sorry, Cat. I apologise. And it's so true.

And actually, Alan was just

being Alan and is so hilarious, like, inherently hilarious,

that it just completely threw us off

at every single point. Were you worried about

the way Alan was acting, though, Cat? Because we saw loads of

moments where you just had to tell him to be quiet!

Yeah, but... Even at the last, even on the last episode, just going,

"Please, don't, don't shout." I was shocked when I was cutting up

that lemon and I watched it on the telly. Yeah.

"WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO, CAT?!"

I didn't think I was that loud. I feel like after a few days in,

or a few episodes in, I was kind of like, the best, like,

exactly what I said to Nick, comedians, the best way

to disarm people is make them laugh. So people would be suspicious

of Alan and then say something to him and he'd just make them laugh,

and then they'd go, "Oh, ha-ha! Never mind!" So I was like,

Alan's never going to get caught, because no-one

could think that he could do it. I mean, even with Jonathan, I went,

"I did it."

Yeah! Yeah! Yes. By the fire pit. "I did it." Yeah. Yeah.

Jonathan said,

"I'm going to have to have a word with him about that."

Alan, that final... that final Round Table,

when you saw that Joe had switched the vote

that you thought he was going to do and he voted for Cat,

what are you feeling in that moment?

Oh, I mean, yeah, I was shocked. Like I said, I thought

he was... I thought we'd really got him.

And then, yeah, and then I did...

It was like a punch in the stomach. I felt physically sick.

And then I felt so alone

because, you know, we were a great team together. Mm. So,

yeah. Yeah, it was... Really,

you did pull the rug from... And he'd been so sweet,

so lovely and all that. But did you think you were, like...?

Did you think Nick was then going to vote against you as well, then?

Or did you think...? I didn't really...

You know, I just didn't really think.

I don't...

I don't know. It was quite emotional for you at the end, though.

We saw you go quiet. Oh, well, all the lying and all that,

it all just came bubbling up and it was, er...

Yeah, and then, I think, you know, about getting...

But, you know, the charity I picked... I mean, I'm not...

I don't want to... But, you know, listen,

the charity I picked is a really great charity

and I know that that money is going to do them so much good.

Yeah. So that was there. I was thinking about

all the lovely people I'd murdered.

I felt bad, and then it all came up.

And then when I saw that green come up, I was like,

"Oh, my God!" And then I got the choke, like that.

And then I thought, "Oh, God!" And then... I mean,

your reactions when it came out. Let's remind

ourselves of that emotional moment.

Oh... It's been tearing me apart.

I'm so sorry.

DAVID: You did brilliantly, Alan.

You did brilliant. You did brilliant.

You did brilliant. It's a game,

and you played it brilliantly. You did brilliant. It's a game.

So... What you didn't...

What you didn't see, I turned into that Greek cat and bit him!

Alan, you said there it was tearing you apart. It was.

Cat, can I ask you - as someone who watched Alan

write the murdered player's name every single night on the scroll -

did you feel like it was tearing him apart?

No. Honestly, like, walking around that castle,

seeing how stressed Alan was all the time,

I was like, how does nobody see that it's this man?

The only one that could kind of see was Clare. Yeah. And I was like,

if I was a Faithful, I would have gone to Clare quite early on

and gone, "I think the same thing as you, but let's not

"say anything until a bit later.

"Let's round up some numbers." And I think that's why you ended up,

like, going. But I just...

He was so nervous throughout.

So when, like, when I saw you cry, I just started crying...

Oh! ..because I was just like, "Oh, Alan!"

I mean, I just wanted to climb inside that suit of armour

that's in the hallway.

Just close the thing down and just... Do you know what I mean?

Just leave me alone, everyone! What about you, David? In that moment

that Alan got emotional, you ran over to comfort him.

How are you feeling? Well, it was such a genuine moment.

It just poured out of Alan.

And it was... It snapped us out of that thing. You know,

this is a game. And the genuine nature of Alan's response

just made us... You know, the obvious, the human thing to do

was to, you know, give him a hug and say, "It's a game and you won.

"You did brilliantly." Now, Alan, before we go,

there's a bit of "unfinished business",

to quote you. We've heard from Paloma on Uncloaked,

but we want to hear - how was it, murdering your good friend?

It was...

Oh, God!

He can't even do it! It was so awful.

It was so awful. And it was weird because, you know, I love, you know,

I'm a fan of her music, I've been a fan of hers for ages,

you know, we are friends, we go on each other's podcasts.

So, yeah, it absolutely really hurt.

It really did. Now, with the nation watching, do you think it's time

for an apology? I mean, Paloma's sat right there.

I am so sorry.

You know I am. And I want to tell everyone

that I'm the father of her child.

It was great... We had... We had a make-up hug.

One thing led to another!

I have been known to turn people,

and it was an enjoyable experience for both of us, I hope.

But I just also want to say that I think observing tonight

and going through my whole plethora of hormonal emotions,

I feel that the reason why Alan won

and the reason why I was so sad was because

we all love him so much.

Oh. And I... I love you so much, and I'm so happy that you won

because it was bloody worth it, then. Yeah.

But I think that most people didn't vote for you because they're like,

how can we vote someone that's so lovable?

And it really concludes that thing, that you won it,

you hurt me and I loved you,

but... Only love can hurt like that, though! Yeah.

Only love can hurt like this, and...

Yeah, and I just think he won it because everyone loves him,

and the nation loves him, and I'm just really happy that he won.

Sorry for rubbing it in by putting your head on the coffin,

by the way. It doesn't look anything like me.

On reflection,

how do you think the experience has changed you?

Oh, my God, I absolutely loved it!

I absolutely loved it. We spent the whole time, didn't we, laughing?

And it was absolutely joyous.

And honestly... Would I do it again? Of course I'd do it again!

I think people would know if I turned up again!

"Cooee!" I don't think that act...

"Oh, hello. Don't mind me. What am I like?!"

I don't think it would work...

No... a second time! You would be out before the first Round Table.

I know, I know, I know! There is no way that's working again.

I know, but it was wonderful. I loved it.

And the response has just been amazing.

I'm cracking up at all the memes. And it's just weird,

I've never... Of all the shows I've done, I've never

had anything like this. You know, people going past

on a bike, "Traitor! Who are you murdering now?!"

So it has been absolutely amazing. I recommend it, it's wonderful.

Well, look, you've been incredible. We've had iconic line

after iconic line. Particular favourites,

"Kate Gone-away. I'm worse than Linda.

"You can't suspect someone just because they've got

"a better vocabulary than you.

"What's a knighthood when you're dead?"

Oh, God!

And of course, and this is my favourite,

"If Kate doesn't come down for breakfast, people will just think

"she's gone into a broom cupboard by mistake!"

KATE: You're so right!

And, Alan, I'm giving you an opportunity now to right a wrong,

to pull something off properly.

Can you look us all in the eye

and tell us that you're a Faithful, please?

Ha-ha-ha!

Ha!

I'm a Faithful! Yes!

Alan Carr!

Thank you so much.

Thanks to all of you.

You've brought us so much entertainment this series.

You've been incredible. The first series of Celebrity Traitors

was absolutely epic. A massive round of applause, please,

for our finalists, Claudia

and the Faithful and Traitors from this series!

The chat continues in your

BBC Sounds bonus episode,

where I'll be chatting more to Claudia, Alan, Cat,

Joe, David and Nick. We'll be hearing about the most surprising

friendships in the castle, the players' favourite missions

and which celebrities were the most different from what they expected.

That's in your BBC Sounds app right now.

Scan the QR code on-screen

to get your final Celebrity Traitors fix.

If you've watched this and thought you'd be better at

catching the Traitors - let's be honest, not difficult -

good news, casting for Series Five is open.

Head to bbc.co.uk/takepart to apply.

So, there it is, the end of the first series

of Celebrity Traitors. 19 celebs, two murders in plain sight,

a lot of screaming down a well,

one mysterious druid and a fart heard around the world!

Thank you for watching this series of Uncloaked.

We'll be back before you know it for Traitors Series Four.

But for now, I'm Ed Gamble. Stay faithful!

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