Original subtitles

Hello.

- Who the hell are you? - I'm your new best friend.

He's behind all this. Maybe we could help each other out.

Let's get this motherfucker.

- Oh, shit! - His real hand.

I hope your weird brujo uncle can help us out.

I'll look inside of you.

You want me to take an acid trip?

Oh, no, you...

Uh, everything all right in there?

Who's fucking with who now, huh?

Kelly: And then he started speaking in tongues,

and it looked like he was having a seizure,

and then that's when he grabbed me by the throat

and started to strangle me.

And the name of this demon, are you sure it was eligos?

I'm positive because he said it just like that.

He said, "I am eligos."

And that was right before his eyes went completely black,

and then you guys came in, thank god.

Fuckin' a, what a story. What a fucking bullshit story that is.

- Oh, my god. - Ash: I would've never...

It must've gotten inside ash back at the bookstore.

And that's why we never fool with demons.

Your uncle Esteban fooled with demons

and look what happened to him.

Disgusting.

I just don't understand why we didn't see it sooner.

Nothing to see.

- Eligos is the demon of the mind. - Ash: Yeah, he is.

- He's a manipulator. - Ash: Uh-huh.

He ensnared your friend after the summoning

and slowly worked deep into his brain

until the vision quest popped him up to fruition.

No! There's nobody inside of me.

You must be right. I mean, look at how

he's reacting to what you say.

'Cause you're fucking lying through your teeth!

Pablo, take Kelly, get me boiling water,

chicken, and my 10-inch gins...

The one with the carving blade, not the bread knife.

Ash: What the fuck you gonna do with that?

- Okay. - Hey, repitemelo.

- Not the bread knife. - Okay, good.

The bread knife was expensive. I don't wanna ruin it.

Oye, tio, ese mi amigo.

What are you gonna do to ash, huh?

I'm going to try to exorcise this monster

- before it is too late. - With a knife?

If it comes to that, yes.

With a fucking knife?

I'm sorry, I just wanna be 100% here... You're gonna cut ash with a knife?

What kind of fucking witch doctor are you, man?

Possessions can be physical as well as spiritual.

For example, there's a lobe in the brain

where such demons can be festering.

The lobe can be removed.

All he's gonna lose is just his sense of smell

and any feeling of pleasure from the waist down.

What? You're cutting my balls off?

- Oh, no. - Okay, what happens

if you can't get the demon out that way, huh?

Then I will do what I must. Okay?

Your soul will be mine.

I'm sorry, ash.

Her eyes just went black. Do you hear me?

She's a fucking demon!

Pablo: I'm not a little kid, yeah...

It's, like, oh, yeah, go get this boiling water

and, uh, chicken carcass and the ginsu knife.

Man, he took every single one of those items

without even looking at me once.

- Pablo. - I mean, this is shitty.

It's, like, I feel like I'm the sous-chef

- of his exorcism kitchen. - Pablo.

Oh, man, exorcisms are the worst.

This is bad. My uncle Esteban had an exorcism once,

and that shit was straight-up scary.

- Pablo! - Whoa!

You need to calm down.

How? Can you tell me?

How can we be calm when ash is clearly...

Ash is the one who wanted to summon the demon

in the first place, right?

Yeah.

You trust the brujo, don't you?

Yeah.

Then you need to let him do what he does best.

And what we need to do is just stay calm.

- We need a drink. - Alcohol?

Right now. You want alcohol right now?

Well, why not?

Nothing we can do until the brujo is finished with ash.

Well, what do you mean "finished"?

You know... healed.

Right.

Any idea where he keeps his stuff?

Man girdle. Okay.

Extra large love gloves.

Gross.

Weed.

Ash was holdin' out on us, huh?

It is not bad.

Yeah. I don't know that, um, getting high

is the best plan for right now.

It is absolutely the best plan.

Go find us a pipe, por favor.

J' oh, help me, Jesus... I

this is some bullshit.

Just relax. It's gonna take a minute.

There's a killer on the loose, and I'm sitting here waiting

for this decomposed hand to lead me to him.

And, by the way, I'm not in the mood to relax.

Okay, how's the possession work, anyway?

And how does ash create those things?

I used to be like you.

What is that supposed to mean?

I used to think everything had to be orderly.

Logical. It should make sense

the way I thought it should make sense.

So you don't believe that things should make sense?

Amanda, you know how respiration works?

Air travels down into your...

"Lungs

and oxygen and co2 are exchanged.

I passed sixth grade science.

But when you're a baby, did you understand?

- Of course not. - Of course not.

'Cause you were not concerned about the logic of things.

You just kept on breathing, and that's what I want you to do,

just... just keep on breathing, okay?

Hello.

I give me my daughter... I

Oh, uh, what are you doing?

I what have I got... I

I got sick of waiting.

I that makes you want to love me... I

don't worry. My cousin used to get high this way

with his soldier buddies in Iraq.

Uh... well, it seems like it's dangerous.

It's not loaded... but I am.

- Did you change? - Join me.

Okay, full disclosure... Weed makes me really paranoid.

So why don't I just go have a, um, mountain dew?

I'll pound that, and it'll just give me a really nice buzz...

Come on. Just one hit.

I'll make it worth your while.

Damn. Oh, yeah... uh...

Yeah. O-Okay.

That sounds good.

So, I think I know what's happening here,

and, um, I, um...

I've been... I've been... I've been wanting to, um...

Get closer to you for a really long time now, so...

How close?

Like really close. Like, you know, more than friends.

Is that something that you want?

Yes.

Brujo: Tell me, eligos,

how do you feel about sanctified charms?

Huh.

They usually inspire more rage than that.

On to the blood ritual, then.

I just... I just wanna make sure that we're on the same page, you know,

like, I'm just... I'm just checking in, you know?

Making sure that you're heard and... and... and

you wanna be with me, right?

Like boyfriend-girlfriend... Same milk shake, different straws.

Maybe share a pussy... cat.

Yes, I wanna be with you.

Bad.

Uh, 'cause, you know,

I can see what's inside of you, Kelly,

and I want you to know that I think it's beautiful.

What's inside of me cannot wait to tear you up.

Now... stop wasting time.

Oh, do you remember the first time we met?

You knocked on my door and you asked me, uh,

for some cold medicine 'cause you were all sn... snotty.

And then you sneezed on me.

I wanted to kiss you that day so bad.

Oh, you.

You are just so sweet.

Now, take a hit.

And then after you do,

you can kiss me...

Anywhere you want.

What about right there? Boop.

You wanna kiss my forehead?

Well, most guys would look past it.

Fine. Just take a hit.

Okay. Um...

Oh, hey, how about we, um, you know, set the mood a little bit?

I know this really great Taylor swift song you prob...

Shh! No, no.

- Put your mouth on it. - Oh, god.

Actually, you know...

I guess I'm just not sure if I'm ready.

- Just suck it, you bitch! - Oh, shit!

Iespiritu mistico!

Ah! Oh, for god's sake! I'm not a demon.

Kelly is, and she's with Pablo right now.

Sweet mother of manson!

Pablo, that's not Kelly.

- Pablo. - I can't.

Ah, god damn it, I just taped her up.

Out, demon, I command you!

Why are you hiding in there, tough guy?

Why don't you come out and fight me like a man?

Abre.

Abre! Abre!

Abre!

Oh, shit!

When you get back to hell, work on your aim.

The sanctified water will do it.

Your charms won't save you!

Out!

Well, we've all been there.

Where am I?

Do it again!

All of it.

Kelly, it's me.

Do you want to do it this time?

You wanna hear me moan, don't you?

Ash: The girl has suffered enough.

Stop! Stop!

Kel...

- Yes! - You gotta fight it!

Stop! I know you're in there.

Look at me. You can do it, Kelly.

It's me. You can do it, kel. Please, please fight it, kel.

There is no Kelly anymore!

Sorry.

You're lying. Kelly, I know you're in there.

- Pablo, Pablo. - Please!

Fear only makes the demon stronger.

Yeah, you think?

This one's for you.

Pablo, the girl...

This is all my fault.

I should've never let them summon that demon.

This is what I get for walking away from my calling.

I'm sorry, tio. I'm... I'm sorry about everything.

- Please. - I know you're sorry.

And I am sorry, too, for pushing you away.

But perhaps you were meant to leave.

Ash has the light of the jefe inside of him.

Deep, deep inside. So deep.

And somehow you still found him.

Ash.

This demon is never coming out.

Please. There's only one way to put an end to all this, ash,

- and you know it. - What are you talking about?

You have to kill me.

The demon's gonna do it anyway.

Please. Hey...

It's okay.

Just put a cross on my grave, okay?

Kelly's Jewish.

Fuck you!

Oh, can't blame a demon for trying.

The demon is taunting us by slowly and painfully killing the host.

The only choice we have is whether to finish her quickly

or let the demon tear her apart right in front of our eyes.

Or we give the demon another host.

What?

The demon wants someone who's vulnerable

and isn't gonna fight back.

Pablo, stop.

She's gone too far.

I could lose you again. We've done everything we can.

Hi, sweetie.

Take me instead. Take me!

I'm a willing host,

and you'll get no fight from inside of me.

Pablo, it's no use.

I take her place. I command you now!

Oh, shit!

It's gonna take a lot more than that to get me to stop, dickhead.

- Brujo: Pablo! - Oh, good god!

Brujo: Don't get too close to her!

Pablo, get out of there!

It's that same son of a bitch.

We gotta do something!

No, Pablo! Don't, don't, don't. You saw what it can do.

Kelly!

- Oh. - I got him now.

- Shit! - Ah!

Tio, watch out!

No!

Just shoot first and think later...

Or don't think at all.

Yeah, shoot first, think never.

Shoot first, think never.

Shoot first, think never.

Noted.

Hey.

Hmm.

Oh. Where the fuck am I?

Ah. What happened?

Good-bye, tio.

You always tried to tell me how the world really is.

I should've listened sooner.

I'm sorry.

I wish that you could come with us

and help us fight this thing.

Ah! Fuck! Shit!

I mean, thank you.

I won't let you down, brujo.

Thanks.

So, you okay to travel?

That was some pretty gnarly stuff back there.

I think I'm good.

I mean, I don't remember much, though.

I have an image of us arriving and then nausea and then...

I don't know. My mind goes totally blank after that.

It's probably a good thing.

Why, what happened?

What did I do?

It was nothin'. You spit out a couple of teeth.

I think they were wisdom teeth, so they were coming out anyway.

I got a spare set of dentures there if you need them.

I'll survive. Thanks, though.

You guys, I think that brujo was trying to give me a sign

from wherever he is.

Or just trying to burn the hell out of me,

'cause this thing is still really hot.

Hey, buddy... I'm really sorry about your uncle.

I'm sorry to both of you.

I feel like this is all my fault,

and I have no idea how to stop it.

That doesn't feel very good.

Ah, come on, ash, you?

You're not responsible.

Oh, he definitely is, though.

Like... like 100%.

You know what, probably more.

I liked you better when you were possessed.

Yeah, me, too.

Um, wow, I must've been a pretty good time.

Kinda were.

Hey, ash...

We made a little something for you.

What?

Well, it's not rosewood,

but, um, maybe it'll help, you know?

Two hands on the wheel, right?

It's a work in progress, but check it out.

You can make a fist with it.

Oh. Oh, yeah, baby.

Thanks, guys.

I'm gonna shove this right up some deadite's ass.

Hyah!

I here I come again now, baby I

I like a dog in heat I

I tell it's me by the clamor now, baby I

j' I like to tear up the street I

I now, I've been smoking for so long I

I you know I'm here to stay I

I got you in a stranglehold, baby I

I you best get out of the way... I

J' the road I cruise is a bitch now, baby I

I you know you can't turn me 'round I

I and if a house gets in my way, baby I

j' you know I'll burn it down j'

I you ran the night that you left me I

I you put me in my place I

j' I got you in a stranglehold, baby I

I and then I crushed your face. I