Original subtitles

I like your necklace, it...

- It shimmers. - Thanks.

So, are we gonna meet tonight?

- At the lake? - Yeah, yeah.

- OK. - Nick!

Did you hear that?

No. No. No, I didn't hear a thing.

- Nope. Just... - Nick?

Wait, isn't that your little brother?

- Yes... - Go deal with him.

- I'll see you in a couple hours? - Yes. Oh, yeah.

- All right. Bye! - OK. Bye.

- Oh, I'm going to deal with him all right. - - Nick!

Nick?

Good hanging with you, Darryl.

- High-five. Just kidding. - That's funny, man.

- Hilarious. - I thought so too.

- See you, Tyler. - Bye, Ty. Catch you later!

- Tie you up later! - Freshmen. I'll see you later, man.

- What? Nick! - I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. All right.

- Don't just stand there. Get me down. - OK.

Bite down. Bite down hard on the stick.

OK? Open your mouth. Trust me. All right.

You ready?

Uh, Nick?

- Yup? - I'd kind of like to get home

with all my pieces still attached. What's the rush?

Two words, little bro.

Julie "Smoking" Gunn.

- Julie Gunn? - Yes.

- She's beyond smoking. She is... scorching. - Scorching.

- She is blistering. - Blistering.

- She is... - She is sneaking out

to meet me for a midnight rendezvous.

- You are such a liar. - No.

Here. Take my phone. Take pictures. I want photographic evidence.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. In your dreams.

I need you to drop me off and drive the truck home.

- Drive home? - Yeah.

Me? I'm 14, Nick.

I don't have a license and I'll go to jail.

"Look at me, I'm 14. I don't have a license. I'm gonna go to jail."

Have you ever seen a jail cell?

It's just a bed and a toilet with no seat.

I get shy in the bathroom at the mall.

Ooh!

- What is that? - Whoa!

What is that?

Tyler...

We just found ourselves...

...a genuine,

bona fide,

real live UFO.

- Is there anything in there? - - What, like an alien?

No, it's empty.

Say cheese! Say cheese!

- Don't touch that! - What?

It might have radiation or something.

Or not.

What are you doing?

- We've got to report this. - What? No, man. This is ours, we found it!

It is not!

- Give it back. Give me it, Nick! - All right!

If you find a wallet in the street, is it yours?

Depends on what's in it. Give me a hand.

In five minutes, this place is going to be swarming

with cops, helicopters, the Marines.

- That's why we've got to hide it. - We can't just keep a UFO.

Mom won't even let us get a dog.

Look, this is a spaceship.

This is a real spaceship, man.

We found it. This is ours!

It landed right in our laps. This is a chance of a lifetime.

Come on. Help me pick it up.

At our trial? I'm blaming you.

Yeah, yeah, just pick it up.

Nick, I want you to drive like Grandma.

Fifty-five and stay alive. OK?

All right.

Get in the car, come on.

Hold on!

Nick!

Eight years of straight A's

and I end life as a crash-test dummy!

- We're going off-road! - Oh, no! Ah!

Oh!

Blue Six, did you acquire the target?

Negative, they escaped...

...but I'll get 'em.

OK, it's a WM, medium build.

Nick, you're gonna hurt me. Come on!

Oh, hi, Mom!

- Hey, Mom. Hi. - Hi.

Nick's truck broke down.

That's a good one.

I used that on your Grandma once.

Come on Ty, we can't... We can't lie to Mom.

We've got to tell her the truth.

- Now? - Mm-hmm.

Are you kidding?

- I mean, are you serious? - Absolutely. OK, Mom, the truth is...

...Darryl Butler and the football team taped Tyler to a tree.

Oh! Ah!

My baby's a freshman!

Hey, listen, I just finished sewing your play costume.

- It is so cute. Come on, try it on! Ooh! - I'm sure it is.

- Oh, I'm so proud! - I love you.

Hey. All right...

When they expect you to lie? Partial truth. All right?

Totally throws them off. All right?

- Fine. - OK. Let's go.

People have been arguing about UFOs since forever.

Are they real? Are they watching us?

And why did you let me try out for this stupid play?

So we could ridicule you for the rest of your life.

Right, boys?

- "Yes!" - OK.

This is bigger than Einstein or Columbus.

That spaceship should be seriously studied.

I know, man. I totally agree with you.

- So we turn it in, right? - Wrong.

We find out what that baby can do.

All right, let's go. Get up, get up.

Dude, did you pull the cover off of it?

Dude, when? I've been with you the whole time.

Whoa. Whoa.

You think it's got like an mp3 jack?

Nick, it's from another planet.

Right.

Maybe satellite radio.

Tyler, it wants you to get in.

What am I, your guinea pig? You get in!

Dude, it doesn't want me, all right?

It's an advanced... It comes from an advanced civilization,

- you've got an advanced brain. - Wow, you think that's it?

- No, I... Just get in, all right? Go. - Why am I doing this?

This is... this is crazy,

this is insane,

this is...

This is incredible.

- Nick? - Ty! Tyler!

Get me out of here, Nick! Nick!

Tyler! Tyler! No, put him down! Tyler!

- Get me out of here, Nick! - Tyler!

- Hurry, please! Nick! - No, no! Put him down!

Get me out of here, Nick!

- Help! - No, no, no, no! No!

Whoa! Whoa!

Stop!

Unreal.

Thank you. Digging the view.

Now please, please,

please get me down before I wet my pirate pants.

Oh, dear.

Oh, man.

Are you OK? Are you OK?

Oh, my... I thought I would never see you again!

I thought you were gone!

Oh, man! I thought I would never see you again! I thought you were gone!

This thing is amazing.

There's no limit to what it can do.

So I guess we're keeping it?

Whoo!

Oh.

♪ Get your hands up Hands up, shake it up yeah ♪

♪ We're gonna party now Get it get it grooving yeah ♪

♪ We're gonna holla, now In the club now ♪

♪ Shake it up, mama Let me see you move it, now ♪

♪ Get your hands up Hands up, shake it, yeah ♪

♪ We're gonna party now Get it, get it grooving, yeah ♪

- What's up, bro? - Hey, we have a big problem.

I know, I heard you got an A-minus in calculus. You are so ruined, man!

There are four cop cars in student parking.

And they're here about the you-know-what.

I'm going home sick. How about you?

Relax, OK? They don't know squat.

They know some kids saw it land.

And it's not just the cops asking questions, it's the NSSC.

They make people disappear.

Haven't I seen you on TV?

Oh, you remember.

WZPZ, Tori Lee, investigative reporter.

Tyler Burns. High school. Man.

- High School Man is late for nuclear physics... - What? No.

- ...so let's go, buddy. - What's this about the NSSC?

Oh, they're trying to spin some bogus cover-up,

claiming some wing nut put rockets on his unicycle.

Do you know what? That's exactly what it was.

Look out!

Uh-oh.

It's Julie. I got... OK.

Oh, boy.

Julie! Hey! What's up?

Wow, you look...

- ...stunning. - You stand me up and that's all you got?

No. No, where were you last night? I waited for hours. I was...

Oh, stand me up and lie to me!

You really know how to work a girl.

OK, I'm sorry. Look, can you just tell me what to say?

- Because I'll say it. - Kiss my...

Butler! Darryl Butler, incoming.

You had your chance, Nick. You blew it.

You need me to translate that for you?

No, I think we got it.

Can it, runt, or next time I'll duct tape you to a cactus.

Why don't you butt out, Butler? Julie dumped your sorry self.

Temporarily. But... it's looking like she's ready to come back.

No, don't count on it. And the next time you mess with my brother,

you're going to have to come through me first.

Why don't I take you both on right now? Hmm?

I've got to warn you: Yellow belt.

Tyler? Tyler.

You know, if you know anything about the UFO, talk to me.

Let me give you my private number to put in your cell.

Really? You're giving me your phone number?

Nick! Do you have my phone? Nick!

If the NSSC finds my phone, we're toast. I took pictures!

I can't believe that you dropped it!

I didn't drop it! You dropped it!

If you hadn't been a weenie about driving, we wouldn't be in this mess.

What? Excuse me?

Wasn't it me who said, "Steal a UFO, to prison you go"?

So now you're sorry we kept it, huh?

Oh, no. No. I'm just sorry we're about to be grilled

by an NSSC robot who wears sunglasses to hide the fact that he has no soul!

Oh, you are so paranoid!

We're about to be greeted by Mom

with a hug and a plate of warm cookies.

Who wants a cookie?

- Hey, Mom. Hi. - Hmm. Hi.

Hi, Mom.

Boys... this is Agent Armstrong of the NSSC.

Any idea what he's doing in our kitchen?

- Nope. - No.

Not me, not a clue, zippo, nada.

You were at play rehearsal last night. An unusual aircraft

landed near the highway when you would have been coming home.

Play rehearsal ended before six,

you didn't get home until after eight.

- Ha! Football team taped me to a tree. - They did.

It doesn't take that long to get out of that, Tyler.

OK.

We're busted.

We were late because...

...I had a date with Julie Gunn.

- Julie "Smoking" Gunn? - Correct.

Who is this "Smoking Gunn"?

Cute little minx he's been chasing since kindergarten.

Will the little minx confirm the story?

No, we didn't actually connect because Tyler here wimped out on driving the truck home.

You see? I told you there was a simple explanation.

Now, if we are finished here,

I'd like to deal with these jokers myself.

I chased two boys in a red pickup truck

from a UFO landing site.

You better ease up on the tabloids, there, buddy.

Nobody believes in UFOs.

Someday, boys, it's just going to be you and me.

And a few minutes after that...

...it's just gonna be me.

The government wants to dissect us,

Mom wants to disown us, the media wants to cover the entire story.

My life's complete.

Who are you calling?

Yeah, hey, Julie. Uh, it's Nick.

Could you please call me back? Please? Thanks.

After the way she blew you off?

Where's your self-respect? Where's your dignity?

Forget that, her window's closing.

- Her what? - Her "ex window."

When a mega-hottie like Julie breaks up with somebody,

you have a 48-hour window to catch her before she gets back with her ex.

She already slammed that window.

- On your head. - No way. She digs me.

Plus...

...we've got a secret weapon.

No, we d...

Oh, no. Nope.

No, we can't. We ca... It's... In the daytime?

- You said it knows words like "stop" and "go home"? - Right, but you...

What if it knows, "Find this smoking hot babe before her window closes"?

♪ Life is good when you're around ♪

♪ Nothing can bring me down

♪ I can't believe what I have found ♪

♪ Nothing can hold me down

- That's Julie's car! - See? It did know "smoking babe."

- Ah. - Sweet! Down, boy.

You know what to do.

Just go. Go!

You caught the last game, right? You saw the 85-yarder?

It was beautiful. Right. Bang.

Corner of the end zone. Precision.

Come on, come on.

I try.

Tyler!

Tyler!

You do it? All right.

How do I look? Good? Breath? All right.

Hey, beautiful!

- Do you need a hand? - Not from you.

Hey, Daddy, my car broke down. Call me back.

Can I just take a look? Just one look.

OK. You know, I left you a message.

It was three messages, actually.

- Six messages. - Six?

And I deleted them all. Without listening.

Really? Well, that's too bad.

You know, because one was a very deep, heartfelt apology

and the other two were very... sweet and romantic and...

- ...gooey. - Yeah?

Mm-hmm.

What were the other three?

You really want to know?

I love you!

I'm gonna... I'm gonna get you.

I'm gon... Oh!

Thanks, I guess.

You know, if you really wanted to thank me...

...let's bounce before Darryl drop-kicks me over the diner.

- All right. Come on. - Yes? Awesome!

Beautiful. OK. Hey-o! Sorry. Hey-o, sorry. Sorry.

This isn't over! You hear me?

This isn't over!

What the...?!

Bro. Thanks, man.

I owe you big time.

Julie was...

...smoking.

Good.

'Cause I think Darryl Butler

might have, kind of, sort of, possibly seen the UFO.

Who cares? Me and Julie, we're going out for pizza this Friday.

With this baby right here, I could take her to Italy.

Forget Italy, take her to the moon.

First thing tomorrow, we've got to find a better place to hide it.

Better place to hide what?

Mom! Mom!

Right here, honey.

Along with the media. Boys...

- We all want some answers. - - What's in the garage, boys?

It's our bikes, lawn mower,

- Tyler's old tap shoes. - Nick.

Don't be ashamed, man, you were very talented. You were.

Nick, it's over.

We gotta tell them the truth.

We saw the UFO crash.

We... loaded it in the truck and brought it home.

It's right inside.

So, what are we waiting for? Open it up.

So, what are we waiting for? Open it up.

- You think this is a joke? - I think you're a joke.

- You're under arrest. - Oh, good move. Arrest us all.

Let's go tell a judge how you strong-armed a mom and her kids

'cause they wouldn't show you their flying saucer!

I'll be seeing you all again.

But you will not see me coming.

So, what's for dinner?

Hmm? Bread and water.

Come on, Mom, technically speaking, we didn't do anything wrong, right?

- Mm-mm. No. - Somewhere in my parenting process,

did I skip the chapter where it says,

"Never, never, never antagonize a government agent"?

- Oh, so now you tell us. - Boys, in the house. Now.

Be right there, Mom. I left something in the garage.

I don't get it. Where'd it go?

- I don't know. - Huh?

OK. Maybe...

- What are you doing? - Oh! It's right here.

- What? - It's right here!

- It's... - Yeah. Go.

Unreal. It's invisible.

No. It's not invisible.

It's... it's cloaking itself like a chameleon.

This thing is not a machine, man. This thing... this thing is alive.

It thinks.

And it knows who its friends are.

Cool!

Our switchboards went crazy last night

with callers who reported seeing a UFO!

Now either the alien invasion has begun

or you guys were all sharing the same punchbowl.

Did you hear that? People saw us in the UFO.

- Well, maybe it was some other UFO. - There is no other UF... Ow!

Like, how do you know? All right,

if there was one, there could have been two or ten or 20.

Like the guy said, alien invasion.

- Nick! - What's with your voice?

Forget my voice, look at my...

- Cut that out. - Cut what out?

Talking all gravelly. Did you catch a cold last night?

I have a beard, Nick.

- So? - So I didn't have one yesterday.

- Not even peach fuzz. - Let me see that thing.

Run for the hills! It's the wolfman!

You know, welcome to puberty, little brother.

All right, if Dad was here, he'd have the "becoming a man" talk with you.

- Hmm. - But he's not so I guess you're stuck with me.

Lesson number one: Don't even think

about using my shaver, dude. That is nasty.

Nick. What'd you do to my jeans?

Nothing.

Did you seal up my pant legs with the glue gun?

I didn't touch your pants.

And it was a stapler, thank you very much.

- Well then, will you help, please? - Help you?

- What's next, I've got to tie your shoes? - Just help. Just help.

- No, pull. - No, just... No, wait, wait. Wait. Wait, wait, stop, stop.

- On three. One, two, three. - You go down while I pull up.

- You're not helping at all. - OK.

Wait, wait. Hold on. Stand up straight.

- Whoa. - What?

Dude, you're almost as tall as me!

You grew like overnight. You are different.

Yeah, well, this is not normal, Nick.

This is definitely not normal.

Well, you know, well, chill out, dude, OK?

You're probably totally overreacting.

If you guys are late for school again, I'm renting out your rooms. Let's go!

If Mom sees me like this she'll know something weird's going on.

- Yeah, only if you spill the beans. - She'll worm it out of me!

I'm not good at the partial truth thing, you are.

You have three seconds.

- One... - Here, come on. Take my jeans.

- ...two... - What?

Go. Just take my jeans.

...three.

Morning.

Where's Tyler?

Oh, you know, yeah, he... he left for school early.

He had to... Something about his pirate play.

- Arr! - No, no, no, I...

I could have sworn I... I heard him in here.

Nope. It's not...

Hi, Tyler!

Hey, Katie!

OK, something is going on with you two.

- Who two? - You and Tyler.

All right, you may have fooled Agent Armstrong last night,

but I have spent years mastering the art of teenage deception.

- Give it up. - Mom. That hurts.

Oh, please.

- I'm watching you, OK? - OK.

Your every move.

I saw that!

Why are you whispering?

Actually, scratch that.

Why are you standing on the roof

in your... boxers?

These? Oh, these aren't boxers. They're...

...shoxers.

Shoxers?

Yeah, shorts that look like boxers.

Very trendy. Everyone's gonna be wearing them.

I bet your brother told you that. See you.

Shoxers? Could you possibly be any more lame?

All right, you're good, she's gone.

I hate PE.

You look different.

What happened to your sweats?

I... think they shrunk in the wash.

Ooh, maybe they'll cut off your circulation.

It's called dodge ball, Burns.

You know, you're supposed to dodge the ball.

Ow!

Ow!

I'm OK. I'm OK.

Take a walk, Darryl. And... take your clown posse with you.

He is such a goner.

You think you can take me?

I don't know who's more clueless, you or your older brother.

T-Rex, let's teach this kid some manners.

Oh! Good shot. Man.

OK, boys.

Make it rain.

♪ This is not a game

♪ I don't do it for the money or the fame ♪

♪ This is not a game

♪ Win, lose, or draw

♪ It will never be the same

♪ This is not a game

♪ I don't do it for the money or the fame ♪

♪ This is not a game

♪ Win, lose, or draw

♪ It will never be the same

♪ On the side the mind of Ali ♪

♪ So game on the pay your fame is overrated

♪ The new Joe Namath The name's Messy ♪

♪ From Subway West Key

♪ Game original Doctor J Move out my way ♪

♪ You'd be me Well, not today ♪

♪ I run right through this Fast as Carl Lewis ♪

♪ Jump so high I almost land where the moon is ♪

♪ I ruin champions

♪ I never play them if it can't be won ♪

♪ To all of you I tell you the truth ♪

♪ You gotta come out swinging like Babe Ruth ♪

♪ Like Dale Earnhardt I got drive ♪

♪ I was wearing blue cammies when it comes to die ♪

♪ This is my life not a nine to five ♪

♪ I'm in to win it I win to stay alive ♪

♪ This is not a game

♪ I don't do it for the money or the fame ♪

♪ This is not a game

♪ Win lose or draw It will never be the same ♪

♪ This is not a game I don't do it ♪

What you got?

♪ This is not a game

♪ Win lose or draw it will never be the same ♪

♪ This is not a game

♪ I don't do it for the money or the fame ♪

♪ This is not a game

You're out of ammo.

Time for me to test out my fastball.

Oh!

Principal Duddy, I...

That is detention, Mr. Butler.

- We'll finish this later. - Can't wait.

What?

OK, everybody up. Stop the gawking, all right?

How did you do that?

Well I...

...have no idea.

So tomorrow night I'm thinking we grab some pizza,

maybe go for a quiet drive alone somewhere. Purely for witty conversation, of course.

Actually, I... I can't tomorrow.

I completely forgot about Darryl's graduation party.

Oh, that's cool, I'll just go with you.

Nick, I'm... I'm Darryl's date. I don't think you're invited.

That is a minor technicality. Because I can handle a little healthy competition.

- Mr. Burns. - Do I have time to make a getaway?

- I don't think so. - Excuse us, Miss Gunn.

I'm leaving tomorrow open, call when you change your mind.

She won't. I'm surprised you're making extracurricular plans this week, Mr. Burns.

Principal Duddy, I mean, we have known each other,

what, four years? You can call me Nick.

- Now, can I call you Herman? - No, you may not.

Now, Mr. Hiddlebaum informs me that you have yet to turn in your senior science project.

That is a stone-cold lie. I turned in my project.

Seeing how much orange soda your little brother can drink

before he vomits is not science.

See, it wasn't just orange soda.

See, I also did grape and cherry.

You should have seen the colors flying out of this kid!

Oh, really? Well, you know, in that case, then we're cool.

- Really? - No!

If you don't deliver a real science project by graduation,

which is in two days,

you won't be marching with your class.

No cap and gown. No diploma.

In other words, you won't graduate.

You will have your project, OK?

Good. Because if you're here another year,

I'll make your life a nonstop nightmare.

- OK? - OK.

Do you want a nightmare? Smell that guy's breath.

This chili is giving me major gas.

Janine thinks I'm cool. Oh, yeah. She digs me.

My grad night dress is so sweet, I'm going to look cuter than all of you.

Did you just say you're gonna look good in a dress?

Dude, I have enough social challenges as it is.

Wearing a dress would not upgrade my status.

You can't hear the voices?

I think you're low on blood sugar.

- Have some pudding. - No, I'm OK.

- I'll catch up with you later. - See you.

I can't believe no one noticed my new haircut.

Love the new haircut, Claire.

Do these jeans make me look fat?

Have you been working out, Heather?

I'm going to mess you up so bad.

If you do, I won't tell you how to get a date for grad night.

- Huh? - You do need a date, don't you?

- It's been bothering you. - I didn't tell anybody that.

Well, Claire's got a new haircut and Heather's wearing new jeans.

If you go compliment them, one of them's sure to go out with you.

- If you're lying... - Do it!

I bet Tyler's a really good kisser.

Hey, did you get taller?

Me? Taller? No.

I've just been... stretching a lot.

It's OK. I like tall guys.

Tall, dark-haired guys.

Tall, dark-haired, smart guys.

I'm sorry, Katie, I can't.

Can't what?

Go to the movies with you this weekend.

My life's a little crazy.

- I didn't ask you out this weekend. - You didn't?

Well, I was about to, but you didn't really give me the chance.

What, are you, psychic or something?

Psychic?

No, no...

Got to go to class. Yeah.

Oh. See you tonight!

Dress rehearsal.

Today was insane, Nick.

I'm telling you, the UFO did something to me!

OK, so you're taller and you're hairier.

Alert the media.

Today in gym, you should have seen me.

I was actually good at dodge ball.

You? That is newsworthy.

I was better than good.

I was great. I totally schooled Darryl Butler.

- Seriously? - Seriously.

I used to stink at anything remotely athletic.

See? It's like time slows down and I can move super fast.

OK. So you're taller and you're hairier

and you're more athletic.

We'll get you a cape and you'll be a superhero.

You're not listening to me.

I've changed. I can do things.

Let me guess, you can smell farts from ten feet away.

- I can read minds. - I'm worried about you, little brother.

No, you're not. You think I'm the poster boy for puberty.

- Well, you are. - You're also trying to figure out a way

to scam your way through a science project so you can graduate.

- Who told you I wasn't graduating? - Nobody. That's the point.

You also want to move the UFO before anybody catches us with it.

- OK, now you're scaring me. - Good. It's scaring me too.

You're my brother. If you don't take me seriously, who will?

OK, you know, what I am taking seriously

is where to hide our spaceship before Mom finds it and busts us.

And I think I just came up with the perfect place.

Do you want to see it?

- I guess I'd better. - Good, because you're driving.

Hey, I may look 16, but I still haven't got a license.

I didn't say you were driving my truck.

How did you ever find this place?

Pretty cool, right? See, two Halloweens ago,

my pal Marty dared me to sneak in here at midnight.

Naturally you said "yes".

Naturally. And now it's paying off.

I've got to find a place to stash our stuff.

- Watch out for the rats. - Rats?

- Yeah. - What rats?

If you see any rats, warn me.

Nick!

Nick!

Nick!

Nick!

- Now what? - You're never going to believe what I just saw!

This movie played on the windshield, stuff happening to the planet.

- Fires, floods, pollution. - Yeah? Well, give me a replay.

Or maybe Hiddlebaum's Ecology class is giving you nightmares.

I'm not making this up.

Right, so now we have psychic visions

and movies-on-demand... in your head.

I know what I saw. There's something big going on.

Maybe that's the reason the UFO came to us.

OK, look, I love you, Ty,

but I think this sudden-onset puberty thing is seriously affecting your brain.

Why don't you believe anything?

Why do you believe everything?

Because, Nick, it's happening to me.

If you won't listen, maybe I should just talk to Agent Armstrong.

What, why, so he can take away our awesome ship and send us to juvie?

Tyler, this UFO is the coolest thing

that has ever happened to anybody, anywhere.

Now, why would you want to blow that?

Fine.

All right, as far as Mom goes, less is more.

Need-to-know basis. Don't ask, don't tell.

She's going to take one look at me and scream.

Then don't let her see you.

- Hi, Mom. - Where's Tyler?

- Who? - Short kid? Lives here?

You know, your brother?

Oh, Tyler. You know, I... I haven't seen him.

You're hiding something.

Hey, what do you take me for, an amateur?

OK, look, we are not leaving this yard

until you tell me exactly what is going on.

- Nick. - OK, Mom, you know what?

You're right.

Something very important has happened.

I'm all ears.

It's no big deal, Mom. You're making too much out of this.

When you are a parent, many, many, many years from now,

then you can decide what to make a big deal out of.

And way too much of.

Ow.

I have to hear from your brother

that you have hit puberty?

That's got to be the most disturbing word in the English language.

My little man.

- Growing up. - Just roll with it, bro. You're lucky.

Because I had the video camera, a deli platter, and Aunt Sophia.

You really are growing up.

I mean, overnight. It's almost... freakish.

Yeah, well... nature's course.

Listen to his voice.

Oh, honey, try not to borrow your brother's shaver, OK? It's kind of nasty.

I've got to call Aunt Sophia. It really is, huh?

- It's freakish. - Crazy.

I can't believe she bought that.

Oh, dude, I was looking for this.

What do you think, huh?

Too much? Oh man, do you remember all those stupid concerts

we used to put on for Mom and Dad?

We used to do everything together, Nick.

You remember this day?

Oh, sure I do. Look at Dad.

He was the man.

He would have listened to me about the aliens.

- This is getting old, Tyler. - He would have.

Dad's not here.

Look, I am listening to you, Tyler.

- And you're changing, I get it. - Thank you.

I don't know why you have to go all conspiracy theory about it.

- It's because, Nick, I've... - What, because, what, girls suddenly dig you?

- Because Darryl can't pick on you any more? - No.

- Because we have the sweetest ride in the universe? Tyler... - That's all great...

Just lighten up. All right?

- OK. - OK.

- I'll try. - All right.

Now you've got to help me solve a real problem.

- What? - Julie is going to Darryl's party and cancelling our date.

I've got to find a way to make her ditch that poser.

What about graduation?

Aren't you supposed to be doing your science...

...project?

I think this belongs to you.

We found it in the field.

Where the UFO was spotted.

Oh. Great, thanks.

We need to talk.

I'm sort of late for class.

You know, when I was your age, I used to stare up at the stars,

wondering what was out there.

It's the reason I do what I do.

I'm still looking. Still wondering.

- Do you ever feel that way? - All the time.

You're brother isn't so believing.

He's really busy right now. Big science project.

I think you and I got off on the wrong foot.

I think we can help each other.

I got to go.

You can start by being honest

about the night you found the UFO.

And I can start by explaining...

...the strange things that have been happening to you.

Things your brother doesn't understand.

I programmed my number into your cell.

When you're ready to talk, call me.

You don't have to deal with this alone, Tyler.

The earth's environment has been deteriorating

at an alarming rate.

Humans are certainly the cause of pollution

and global warming.

But extreme weather of recent years

seems to be coming from some

unknown mysterious source.

- Mr. Burns? Tyler? - Yes... sorry?

What do you think has been causing these catastrophic weather changes?

It...

I don't know.

That's correct. Nobody knows.

But if current trends continue, within a generation,

Earth could become completely uninhabitable to humans.

What's he doing?

- Some sort of problem, Mr. Burns? - No, Mr. Hiddlebaum.

There was just this... annoying glare

and I didn't want to miss any of this fascinating lesson.

Totally under control.

All right, class. Let's continue.

I've got to go. Hall pass. My mom's meat loaf.

Funny.

Your brother used the same excuse in last period's class.

What are you doing here?

Are you trying to get me expelled?

Look, I am not having a good day, OK?

Last week I was a straight-A student with a normal life

and now...

I'm actually standing here talking to a UFO.

I like order. Routine.

I roll the toothpaste tube up from the bottom.

My life was perfectly organized until you showed up.

I can't go for a ride. I'm serious!

Be a good little UFO and go away.

Fine. OK!

It's not like things could get any worse.

So what's the big panic?

You need to check this out.

What?

It sounds like it ate Mom's meat loaf surprise.

Yeah, it came to school and practically abducted me.

- Yeah, right. - It did.

Nick, I think it's got some kind of message for us.

What is it?

What are you trying to tell us?

Dude.

When you're right, you are right.

- Sweet! - Score!

Whoa!

- Whoa! - Some sort of user guide or manual.

Pictures and diagrams of all the stuff.

I wouldn't try to use any of it until we at least check...

- That was awesome. - Yeah...

Before we try out anything else,

I really think we should check the instructions.

Real men don't read instructions.

Oh right, because then you're going to be a real man

who burns a real hole through your real head.

Oh, look. Alien laxative?

Maybe if you bothered to learn what it's for...

Oh, what do we have here?

Oh! Sick!

I think it's time to trim your nose hairs, there, buddy.

Those aren't just binoculars.

You can say that again.

You can look at planets with those.

For navigating in space.

But there is something else that I want to check out first.

Oh. Nice.

Oh, these could come in very handy.

Wha...?

What?

- Oh, man. - What? What's up?

Julie's at Darryl's party. I've got to go.

- You're not going to any party. - Do you want to bet?

You're coming to my pirate play.

- Oh, that's tonight? - One night only.

Bro, I got a real problem.

Tonight is the senior grad party.

I thought Darryl didn't invite you.

Technically no.

Right, because technically he hates you.

- I know I promised to come to your play. - That's right.

Your exact words.

But I'm only graduating once.

Maybe not even that.

The point is, this is my one and only senior grad party.

Please?

- It's not a big deal. Don't sweat it. - Ah! You are the best.

♪ Yeah yeah Like a rolling stone ♪

♪ Yeah yeah Today you're on your own ♪

♪ Yeah yeah on the go till you run outta dough ♪

♪ Then you'll be back yes you'll be back ♪

♪ Knocking on my door

♪ Yeah yeah I love the city at night ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah I got my own private flight ♪

♪ Yeah yeah You can see well Maybe you're blind ♪

♪ The streets you walk on This air it's all mine ♪

♪ Listen to your mind And it will tell you to go ♪

♪ Listen to your heart 'Cause you just don't know ♪

♪ Listen to your mind 'Cause it will tell you to go ♪

♪ Listen to your heart 'Cause you just don't know ♪

♪ Listen to your mind 'Cause it will tell you to go ♪

♪ Listen to your heart 'Cause you just don't know ♪

♪ Listen to your mind 'Cause it will tell you to go ♪

♪ Listen to your heart 'Cause you just don't know ♪♪

OK.

Looks like we're sold-out!

Ahoy there, bucko. You are so late.

- Where have you been? - Practicing my lines.

You missed dress rehearsal last night.

- I tried to come, but my mom was just... - Never mind.

You can tell me later.

My sword. I'll be right back.

Pirates, don't forget your eye patches and fake blood.

Everyone ready for The Storm at Sea! Curtain in one minute!

Tyler? Tyler! Where are you?

You're due on stage like now.

Ahh!

So, where were we?

Oh, yes. You were going to thank me for showing up to save you from this boring party.

No, I was asking what you're doing here.

If Darryl sees you, he's going to lose it.

So in other words, you feel that me coming here to see you,

even at the risk of getting my butt kicked,

is pretty romantic.

I'm here with Darryl, Nick.

Look, I get it, all right?

Popular girl dates popular guy. It makes sense.

But don't you ever want to try something a little less predictable?

- What? Dating a goofball like you? - Exactly!

Maybe.

But I need to know if you could ever be serious.

Or if everything's just one big joke to you.

I could be serious.

- Hmm. - About you.

Now that...

...was predictable.

Yeah.

But also kind of cute.

I think you...

...you have a little fruit punch right there.

Is this is where you say,

"Let me get that," and try to kiss me?

Come on. You don't think I'd resort

to a little cheeseball trick like that, now do you?

Nick?

- Hmm. - Nick!

Nick! Are you OK?

I was. What are you doing here?

When you didn't answer your phone I thought you were in trouble.

Dude, relax. Why are you like, flipping out?

- Why am I flipping out? Hmm... - Yeah.

Let's see. Maybe I'm flipping out because a space monster tried to destroy me!

What are you...?! He's a gamer. Yeah, he likes to role play.

You know, aliens, dragons, elves.

Did you see how beautiful Julie looks tonight?

Now, I am not going anywhere. I will catch up with you later.

Catch up with me later? I almost didn't have a later.

I'll let you guys talk.

We were supposed to watch out for each other.

Am I interrupting your little family moment?

- Not now, Darryl. - All this really insane stuff is going on,

and all you care about is yourself.

- Ty... - Fine! I can do this without you.

Have fun at your party.

- Tyler. - No.

Your little brother gets me detention

and you hook up with my girlfriend. You know...

I've got to tell you, I am loving your family right now.

Look, I'm really not in the mood right now, Darryl. All right?

I don't know what's going on

with you and your brother, your, your freak brother.

Tyler's not a freak.

- But you, on the other hand. - Dude...

Yeah.

This whole Julie thing?

It's made me a little crazy.

I started seeing things. I even thought I saw a UFO.

Yeah, I heard about that.

I heard that you screamed like a little girl and then you fell on your butt.

Oh, there you go.

I want you gone.

As in now. Or else.

Hey! What happened? Are you OK?

Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.

Let's get out of here. Somewhere we can be alone.

I want to.

But I can't, I'm sorry.

I'll see you tomorrow, won't I?

At graduation?

I'm glad you decided to call.

I didn't exactly have anyone else to turn to.

Your life's about to get a whole lot simpler.

Here's what you've been looking for.

You promised you'd explain why all this strange stuff

has been happening to me.

You've been experiencing...

...telepathic insights, correct?

Man, have I ever.

You don't want to play cards with me.

And bursts of great strength?

Oh, yeah. I'm a regular superhero.

Except I can't fit into any of my own clothes.

So what's really going on?

When a human teenager is

- experiencing cellular transition... - You mean puberty?

Exactly.

When you're exposed to heavy-particle radiation in space,

all of the maturing processes are hyper-accelerated.

Which is why I grew four inches overnight?

Correct.

But rapid growth is the least of it.

You've probably noticed you've gained an array of extraordinary powers.

Why doesn't anyone know about this?

Because NASA has never sent a teenager into space.

It sounds like they should.

You don't know how right you are.

There's a name for special humans like you.

You're called Skyrunners.

Wow. Skyrunners.

So when I went up in space,

that's what happened to me?

Yes. Your abilities, if properly understood,

could make humans the most powerful species in the universe.

You could become very dangerous to extraterrestrials.

So you believe me, about the alien coming after me?

Oh, absolutely. Aliens are very real.

And a lot closer than you think.

Wait, don't!

No! What did you do that for?

You humans are such an interesting species.

So intelligent in so many ways

and so ignorant in others.

You said "you humans."

You mean you're not...

I'm the reason your planet's dying.

Tyler?

Come out, come out, wherever you are!

Look, dude, I am so sorry.

I have been such a major jerk to you lately.

Ty!

What?

Tyler.

OK, where's my brother?

Look... look, Tyler thinks that you have a brain or something,

so tell me where he is!

Tell me!

I'm sorry. Look, I'm sorry, I'm just...

It's just, my brother... If any...

If anything happens to him, I'm...

I'm... I'm just freaking out here.

I'm freaking out here, OK?

OK.

OK.

OK. OK.

So you... you took... you took a major hit here.

And it's up to me to get you running again. OK.

Instructions, OK.

OK, please,

you can never, ever, ever tell Tyler I did this, all right?

OK. OK, I need instructions.

Please... be there.

Yes! Yes, OK, OK.

I see this, I can work with this.

All right.

Oh, no. Baby, you need some major help.

Oh, wait, you know what?

But that's OK. You know why?

Because I have the ultimate secret weapon of every great mechanic.

Duct tape!

Trust me, this can fix anything.

All right, just hold tight, all right?

You know what?

That's OK.

Minor setback, minor setback.

How's that? Is that better?

Almost done. Hang tight. One more.

So... how do you feel?

All right.

OK.

OK. Fly.

Dude.

Dude, you have to fly.

Look, you are the only one who knows where he is.

If anything happens to him I'd...

I don't know what I'd do.

Whoo-hoo!

Hello?

Hello?

Anybody there?

Oh, dude, I dig speed, but this is extreme!

I think I'm gonna hurl.

Whoa! Whoo!

What do you want from me?

Why'd you bring me here?

Bread and water?

Gee thanks.

How considerate of you.

Oh! Gross.

I'd rather starve.

You hear me? I'd rather starve!

Oh dude, please don't tell me we're going in to that!

I've got to get out of here.

I've got to get out of here.

You've got to let me out of here!

I'm seriously claustrophobic!

Fingernails.

I guess I'm not your first guest.

What the...?!

It looks like some kind of a ship crashed here.

This whole place is one big impact crater.

Tyler.

Tyler!

Tyler, where are you, bro?

Oh. Right.

Of course.

Here's that.

Oh, what are they doing to you, bro?

Whoa!

Oh, no. Tyler.

Oh, skanky.

Whoa!

Who needs instructions?

He said we're the most powerful species in the universe.

He said we're dangerous to extraterrestrials.

He said I have extraordinary abilities.

I am a Skyrunner.

Nick! Here!

All right!

These were my favorite jeans!

Look out!

Oh, are you OK? Are you OK?

- Yeah. - Well, what about your head?

- Oh, that. - Yeah.

Being a drama geek does have its benefits.

- What? - Blood pack.

Don't scare me like that!

Oh man, I am so sorry about the way I let you down.

- It's OK. - No, no, it's not OK.

For a moment I thought you might really be gone, bro.

Hey, you found me.

You always have.

You always do.

Come here.

How did you find me, by the way?

Oh, the UFO helped.

- It's alive? - Yeah.

- I thought Armstrong took it out. - No, I fixed it.

You fixed a spaceship? That's awesome!

So, where are we anyway?

Dude, we're, we're in some alien crater way underground.

Dude, I'm never going to doubt anything you tell me ever again.

- Really? - Yeah, totally.

OK, try this. The aliens are wrecking the environment

so they can eliminate the human race.

Really?

Yeah. Then they can make the planet their own.

Oh, dude, I believe you.

- Awesome! Just because I said so? - No, no.

No, they have macking chambers out there and they're pumping

- offensive gack through it. - Probably straight into the atmosphere.

- Yeah. - We've got to stop them.

Well, I'll settle for just getting out of here in one piece.

Come on, let's go.

- Nick. - Yeah?

Thanks.

No, wait.

OK, go.

- Guess what? - What?

Armstrong's an alien. He's the one who brought me here.

- Get out. - Nah-uh.

OK, you're right. I believe you.

Good, I wasn't sure. Hey, what ever happened to those alien binoculars?

I had a little incident with the binoculars.

What about that weapon?

I had a slight mishap with the weapon too.

I told you, you should have checked the instructions.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Check this.

- Whoa. It's huge. - No kidding.

Oh, it smells so nasty.

Oh dude, forget nasty, it's toxic.

It's probably lethal.

Shh, shh.

- What are we going to do? - "Run" comes to mind.

But you said we had to stop them.

Did you see how many there are?

Shh!

Oh, come on, let's bail!

- No, wait. - What?

You still have that?

Yeah, it's a useless piece of...

- Give me that! - What?

Wait, what are you doing?

I know what it's for because I read the instructions.

Do you want to give me a hint?

It's easier to just show you.

Nick, get up, come on.

The whole cave's coming down.

Come on. Go, go, go.

You fixed it with duct tape?

She ain't pretty, but she gets the job done.

We're going to get buried alive, come on!

Come on, baby!

- Little more! - Ahh!

Look out! No, no, no!

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Whoo!

- Whoo! - Whoo!

Uh-oh.

Don't look back.

Go! Step on it!

Step on what? This thing doesn't have a gas pedal!

Uh-oh.

Look who's not graduating.

Looks like Nick Burns finally got burned.

Excuse me. Sorry.

- Hold on! - Oh, oh no.

- We're not going to make it! - Look, we made it this far. Come on, Tyler!

We'll now present diplomas to the graduating class

in alphabetical order.

First row.

Teresa Maria Aguilar.

Congratulations.

Ronald Aster.

Ronald, congratulations.

We can't take another hit. We've got to fight back.

- Then do it! - There's only one problem.

- What? - I don't know how!

Whoa!

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

That's more like it.

I didn't do anything. The ship did.

Whoo! Yippee-ki-yay!

Bad Bug went down! Whoo!

Nick? We're going down too.

Theodore Rexford Anderson.

Darryl Butler.

Oh... you forgot my son!

Darryl Butler.

No, you forgot Nick Burns!

I did not forget him, Mrs. Burns.

There's a little matter of a senior science project?

Hold on, Tyler. Hold on, all right?

What's that?

Nick! Ahh!

Hold on, Tyler, hold on!

Nick?

Tyler?

Oh!

What sort of stunt is this?

This is no stunt, Principal Duddy.

This is my science project.

Hey, Mr. Hiddlebaum,

so this UFO was totally busted.

- And I fixed it. - He really did.

We also saved the planet, by the way.

I was hoping that you could let me count this as my science project?

Well...

I guess, I guess you pass.

Yes! Whoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo!

Herman, my diploma.

Yes!

- Whoo, whoo-ooh! - Oww!

- Are you OK? - Yeah, Mom, we're fine.

I'm so sorry we worried you.

Whoo!

He gets his diploma? He gets the girl?

I'm losing it. I can't believe this!

Tyler...

Hi, Katie.

You. Me. Friday night. Movie.

OK.

Whoo!

Road test: Successful.

Seemed a little rocky to me.

Are you kidding me? Dude, that sound rig is bumping.

♪ What you say

Forget the stereo. It didn't fly so well.

And that landing? Not our best.

It got us here, huh? And now we got some rocking tunes!

Hmm? Come on. The beach is this way.

And guess who's waiting there to meet you?

Katie Wallace.

- What? - Yeah, dude. I set you up, bro.

I told her you're going to be here. She totally digs you, man.

Yeah, I kind of like her too, Nick,

- but I'm not... - Hey, hey. Hey, hey. Don't be shy.

OK, since you became a Skyrunner your body's not so scrawny anymore, bro.

Shall we take them now?

No. Not yet.

They think they're safe.

They think they eliminated all of us.

Won't they be surprised when they learn how wrong they are.

♪ Little green men

♪ With antennas on their head ♪

♪ Real funky too cool

♪ I'll land on an open farm

♪ I'll dissect some cows

♪ Then I'll leave a crop circle for fun ♪

♪ While Dr. Dance'll bring in a Venus ♪

♪ For my little green friends

♪ With antennas on their head ♪

♪ Real funky too cool

♪ Little green men

♪ With antennas on their head ♪

♪ Real funky too cool ♪