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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday 2 00:00:35,796 --> 00:00:39,008 With this ring be thou consecrated unto me as my wife. 3 00:00:39,300 --> 00:00:41,886 According to the law of Moses and faith of Israel. 4 00:00:42,303 --> 00:00:44,931 According to the law of Moses and faith of Israel. 5 00:00:45,181 --> 00:00:48,143 And you, Judy, say to Yale these words. 6 00:00:48,394 --> 00:00:49,812 Take the ring. 7 00:00:52,648 --> 00:00:55,776 This ring is a symbol that you are my husband. 8 00:00:56,026 --> 00:00:58,405 This ring is a symbol that you are my husband. 9 00:00:58,655 --> 00:01:00,824 And a sign of my love and devotion. 10 00:01:01,074 --> 00:01:02,951 And a sign of my love and devotion. 11 00:01:03,576 --> 00:01:05,537 In the presence of these witnesses... 12 00:01:05,787 --> 00:01:08,081 ...you spoke words and performed the rites... 13 00:01:08,331 --> 00:01:10,459 ...which unite your lives. 14 00:01:10,710 --> 00:01:13,212 I therefore declare you, Yale and Judy... 15 00:01:13,546 --> 00:01:15,715 ...husband and wife. 16 00:01:17,216 --> 00:01:18,551 Step on it. 17 00:01:21,513 --> 00:01:22,472 Mazel tov! 18 00:01:33,401 --> 00:01:37,739 PRIVATE BENJAMIN 19 00:03:14,721 --> 00:03:17,598 But I only have eyes 20 00:03:18,558 --> 00:03:20,560 For you 21 00:03:21,018 --> 00:03:23,731 Judy Goodman 22 00:03:24,398 --> 00:03:25,441 Do you have a date? 23 00:03:25,691 --> 00:03:29,570 No, I told your Uncle Phil I'd meet him to look at his lease. 24 00:03:29,820 --> 00:03:32,907 - You're not going to work now? - No, I'm not going to work. 25 00:03:33,158 --> 00:03:36,161 He thinks he's getting evicted. Let me just talk to him. 26 00:03:36,411 --> 00:03:37,704 Okay? 27 00:03:38,413 --> 00:03:41,416 - Thanks for marrying me. - You're welcome. 28 00:03:42,542 --> 00:03:44,378 Get me a Perrier with a twist? 29 00:03:51,427 --> 00:03:54,181 - Arnie! - So you did it, huh? 30 00:03:55,515 --> 00:03:57,976 I can't believe you married Goodman... 31 00:03:58,226 --> 00:04:00,103 ...when you could've had me. 32 00:04:00,437 --> 00:04:02,773 I could have lived with you, Arnie. 33 00:04:03,065 --> 00:04:04,901 Big difference. 34 00:04:07,570 --> 00:04:08,696 Judy! 35 00:04:10,198 --> 00:04:13,911 Look who I found! Mr. Waxman, the upholsterer. 36 00:04:14,161 --> 00:04:18,415 I didn't recognize you without nails in your mouth. 37 00:04:19,541 --> 00:04:23,128 I brought a little something I think you're going to love. 38 00:04:32,055 --> 00:04:35,226 Mr. Waxman, you finished the ottoman! 39 00:04:35,476 --> 00:04:37,978 Yale will be thrilled. 40 00:04:38,771 --> 00:04:41,732 Wait a minute! Is this mushroom piping? 41 00:04:41,982 --> 00:04:44,861 Looks beige-y to me, Ma. This isn't the right color, is it? 42 00:04:45,112 --> 00:04:46,238 Ben... 43 00:04:46,488 --> 00:04:48,365 ...what happened to the mushroom? 44 00:04:48,615 --> 00:04:52,202 That's as close as you're going to get to mushroom in Philadelphia. 45 00:04:52,452 --> 00:04:55,415 Mr. Waxman, we've been through this a zillion times. 46 00:04:55,665 --> 00:04:58,793 I told you I'm doing Yale's study in mushroom. 47 00:04:59,794 --> 00:05:03,089 I'm sure you could've found a yard of mushroom fabric. 48 00:05:04,424 --> 00:05:06,885 You want it, I'll get it. 49 00:05:07,302 --> 00:05:09,471 This is your night! 50 00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:12,933 Wheels?! 51 00:05:13,183 --> 00:05:15,729 Mr. Waxman, I wanted upholstered balls. 52 00:05:17,814 --> 00:05:19,733 Upholstered balls? 53 00:05:30,786 --> 00:05:32,663 - Come on, Peanut. - Where're we going? 54 00:05:32,913 --> 00:05:34,874 - My feet hurt. - Your feet will be fine. 55 00:05:35,124 --> 00:05:36,418 I just want to talk to you. 56 00:05:45,010 --> 00:05:47,346 What? Want a divorce already? 57 00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:49,724 Darling, I have a very bad headache. 58 00:05:49,974 --> 00:05:54,145 No wonder, you've danced all night. I'll get some Tylenol from Mom. 59 00:05:54,437 --> 00:05:55,354 Sweetheart... 60 00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:57,733 ...it's not a Tylenol headache. 61 00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:00,402 - Honey! - Please? 62 00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:03,781 - Honey, not here! - Please, why not? Come on! 63 00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:06,825 Why? Because everybody I know is ten feet away. 64 00:06:07,077 --> 00:06:10,288 - They're having a good time. Please? - No, I'll ruin my dress. 65 00:06:10,538 --> 00:06:14,209 - Your dress is fine. Come on! - Honey, please? I don't want to. 66 00:06:18,089 --> 00:06:19,840 Kiss me first. 67 00:06:35,565 --> 00:06:37,067 I love you so much. 68 00:06:37,317 --> 00:06:38,694 Hi, Yale. 69 00:06:40,279 --> 00:06:43,282 Judy's always been a good girl. Always! 70 00:06:43,658 --> 00:06:46,077 She made a mistake with the first husband. 71 00:06:46,327 --> 00:06:50,416 That's ancient history. The smartest thing she ever did was to marry you. 72 00:06:50,666 --> 00:06:51,542 That's nice, Teddy. 73 00:06:51,792 --> 00:06:54,128 It's very important for a father to know... 74 00:06:54,378 --> 00:06:57,756 ...his daughter's going to be well taken care of. Don't laugh! 75 00:06:58,215 --> 00:07:01,261 You'll know what I mean when your daughter gets married. 76 00:07:01,511 --> 00:07:03,388 Anyway, that's number one. 77 00:07:03,638 --> 00:07:04,973 Number two! 78 00:07:05,265 --> 00:07:07,016 We'll still have Sunday breakfasts? 79 00:07:07,392 --> 00:07:09,061 - Of course, Daddy. - Good. 80 00:07:09,311 --> 00:07:11,731 You can get the whitefish on your way over. 81 00:07:12,189 --> 00:07:16,318 I want to give you two a little something from mother and me... 82 00:07:16,569 --> 00:07:18,028 ...a little extra happiness. 83 00:07:21,032 --> 00:07:23,785 I guess it's not carpeting for the living room. 84 00:07:26,455 --> 00:07:30,293 That's for the future, not Lord and Taylor, you little jerk! 85 00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:36,049 Teddy, you're amazing! 86 00:07:36,299 --> 00:07:39,510 It's my pleasure. Just use it in good health. 87 00:07:39,762 --> 00:07:41,180 Thanks, Mom. 88 00:07:41,555 --> 00:07:43,599 I'll show my mother, she'll go crazy! 89 00:07:44,308 --> 00:07:46,101 I can't believe it! 90 00:07:48,437 --> 00:07:50,106 Jude, get me a cigarette. 91 00:07:55,862 --> 00:07:57,113 Coming back inside, Daddy? 92 00:07:57,530 --> 00:08:00,493 I just want to see the recap of tonight's game. 93 00:08:01,368 --> 00:08:03,120 Should I wait for you here? 94 00:08:07,875 --> 00:08:09,126 Dad? 95 00:08:10,504 --> 00:08:12,380 Get me a match, doll. 96 00:08:25,853 --> 00:08:29,524 Jerry, if you call her you'll screw it up. That's my job, all right? 97 00:08:29,774 --> 00:08:30,650 No, to call her. 98 00:08:30,900 --> 00:08:35,030 How long you married? Anything more than 15 years, you lose the house. 99 00:08:35,322 --> 00:08:38,158 It's not my rule, that's just the way it is. 100 00:08:38,659 --> 00:08:40,411 Keep the boat, it's a male item. 101 00:08:41,871 --> 00:08:45,625 Prenups is the only way to get around this and it's too late. 102 00:08:46,501 --> 00:08:48,837 Give her the microwave, it's a built-in! 103 00:08:49,337 --> 00:08:52,133 It comes with the house. What'll you do with one oven? 104 00:08:53,426 --> 00:08:55,553 It's late now. 6:30 a.m. Monday... 105 00:08:55,803 --> 00:08:59,598 ...we'll play racquetball. We'll figure it out then. Can you wait? 106 00:08:59,849 --> 00:09:02,185 We'll be in Jamaica 6:30 Monday. 107 00:09:02,436 --> 00:09:04,104 I'll be on my honeymoon Monday. 108 00:09:04,354 --> 00:09:06,064 I'll call you from Jamaica. 109 00:09:06,314 --> 00:09:08,066 I don't know, from the hotel. 110 00:09:09,067 --> 00:09:11,903 No, you'll be halved at worst. You're okay. 111 00:09:12,447 --> 00:09:13,906 Prenups, babe! 112 00:09:17,285 --> 00:09:19,871 - That'll never happen to us. - I know. 113 00:09:20,246 --> 00:09:24,126 - Did this bathroom turn out gorgeous? - This ass is gorgeous. 114 00:09:24,376 --> 00:09:25,878 Come here. 115 00:09:28,088 --> 00:09:30,299 - What? - Wait, honey. 116 00:09:30,883 --> 00:09:32,468 Wait just one second. 117 00:09:32,718 --> 00:09:35,138 - Lift your back leg. - I don't have a back leg. 118 00:09:35,388 --> 00:09:40,060 It's our wedding night. It's not real romantic making love in the sink. 119 00:09:40,310 --> 00:09:43,689 - It's romantic making love anywhere. - I know. I love you. 120 00:09:43,939 --> 00:09:48,277 - Let's go into the bedroom. - We're going into the bedroom next. 121 00:09:49,195 --> 00:09:51,405 Just here. Good, sweetie! 122 00:09:52,073 --> 00:09:53,282 Honey, good! 123 00:09:55,619 --> 00:09:57,788 You're on my hair, get off my hair. 124 00:09:59,122 --> 00:10:00,123 How's that? 125 00:10:10,551 --> 00:10:12,804 - Oh, honey! - What? 126 00:10:15,974 --> 00:10:17,976 - Oh, sweetie! - What? 127 00:10:19,103 --> 00:10:20,229 I'm coming! 128 00:10:32,700 --> 00:10:34,912 Why don't we go and get in bed? 129 00:10:51,513 --> 00:10:55,935 Oh, God, full of compassion, thou who dwellest on high. 130 00:10:56,436 --> 00:11:00,231 Grant perfect rest unto the soul of Yale Goodman... 131 00:11:00,481 --> 00:11:02,775 ...who has departed from this world. 132 00:11:03,234 --> 00:11:06,071 Lord of mercy, bring him into Thy presence... 133 00:11:06,321 --> 00:11:11,285 ...and let his soul be bound up in the bond of eternal life. 134 00:11:12,494 --> 00:11:13,787 Amen. 135 00:11:15,038 --> 00:11:16,708 I can't try to console you... 136 00:11:16,958 --> 00:11:19,586 ...by saying there is any justice in this world. 137 00:11:19,836 --> 00:11:22,213 Just be thankful for the friendship... 138 00:11:22,464 --> 00:11:26,594 ...and tenderness you and Yale had the opportunity to share. 139 00:11:28,095 --> 00:11:33,142 My philosophy of life has gotten me through some very rough times. 140 00:11:33,642 --> 00:11:35,519 Let me share it with you. 141 00:11:38,106 --> 00:11:40,066 Que será será. 142 00:11:40,901 --> 00:11:43,195 I got it from the song. 143 00:11:54,832 --> 00:11:56,084 Judith? 144 00:11:58,128 --> 00:11:59,797 Just one thing. 145 00:12:00,255 --> 00:12:02,216 If you can remember... 146 00:12:02,633 --> 00:12:06,386 ...what were Yale's last words? 147 00:12:09,140 --> 00:12:11,017 "I'm coming." 148 00:12:13,353 --> 00:12:15,313 I know you don't want to hear this... 149 00:12:16,481 --> 00:12:19,735 ...but you got to get right back into circulation. 150 00:12:20,069 --> 00:12:23,781 When you fall off the horse, you got to climb right back on. 151 00:12:24,031 --> 00:12:26,409 Aunt Kissy, please! 152 00:12:27,701 --> 00:12:30,330 Could I be alone now? 153 00:12:30,956 --> 00:12:32,499 I'm sorry. 154 00:12:39,257 --> 00:12:40,341 She wants to be alone. 155 00:12:40,591 --> 00:12:42,677 She wants to be alone. 156 00:12:43,344 --> 00:12:46,597 She doesn't want to live in their place. I can't blame her. 157 00:12:46,848 --> 00:12:51,311 - Sell everything and buy her new. - Buy her new? She'll live with us. 158 00:12:51,603 --> 00:12:55,107 - What if she doesn't want to? - She doesn't know what she wants. 159 00:12:55,357 --> 00:12:58,736 And what's she going to do now? Be my secretary again? 160 00:12:59,028 --> 00:13:03,658 The girl's 29 years old and trained to do nothing. 161 00:13:04,075 --> 00:13:05,827 I'm 28. 162 00:13:18,382 --> 00:13:20,469 Look what we got! 163 00:13:54,255 --> 00:13:56,591 I've never not belonged to somebody. 164 00:13:56,841 --> 00:13:57,926 Never. 165 00:13:58,176 --> 00:14:01,222 My first boyfriend was in nursery school. I was two... 166 00:14:01,472 --> 00:14:03,349 ...and he was three and since then... 167 00:14:03,599 --> 00:14:07,853 ...I've been pinned, lavaliered, engaged... 168 00:14:08,229 --> 00:14:10,314 ...married twice. 169 00:14:11,650 --> 00:14:13,985 The first time, I was twenty. 170 00:14:15,362 --> 00:14:18,198 See, I've been in this room eight days... 171 00:14:18,448 --> 00:14:23,204 ...and it's really the first eight days I've ever been alone in my life. 172 00:14:24,205 --> 00:14:25,748 If I'm not going to be married... 173 00:14:25,998 --> 00:14:29,544 ...I don't know what I'm supposed to do with myself. 174 00:14:31,129 --> 00:14:34,049 Did you happen to see that movie Unmarried Woman? 175 00:14:35,467 --> 00:14:37,428 Well, I didn't get it. 176 00:14:37,761 --> 00:14:40,347 I would've been Mrs. Alan Bates so fast... 177 00:14:40,597 --> 00:14:43,017 ...that guy wouldn't have known what hit him. 178 00:14:43,643 --> 00:14:45,812 The thing is, and then I'll shut up... 179 00:14:48,565 --> 00:14:51,359 ...I haven't done anything wrong. 180 00:14:51,609 --> 00:14:54,738 And I feel like I'm being punished! 181 00:14:57,158 --> 00:15:00,035 I thought I'd be filling up my freezer... 182 00:15:00,286 --> 00:15:05,000 ...and be getting this new pine sideboard that I ordered and... 183 00:15:13,217 --> 00:15:15,136 Jessica, I do hate... 184 00:15:15,386 --> 00:15:18,473 ...to stop your free association, but our switchboard's flooded. 185 00:15:19,140 --> 00:15:22,685 So set your phone down and turn your radio up, okay? 186 00:15:22,936 --> 00:15:24,605 Hello, Night Owl, you're on the air. 187 00:15:25,564 --> 00:15:28,817 You lucked out. I read in the Enquirer this morning... 188 00:15:29,067 --> 00:15:30,652 ...that marriage causes cancer. 189 00:15:30,903 --> 00:15:33,198 Philadelphia Night Owl, you're on the air. 190 00:15:33,448 --> 00:15:36,743 About that Palestinian homeland. In your Bible you'll see... 191 00:15:36,993 --> 00:15:39,788 ...that the Arabs had first dibs on the West Bank. 192 00:15:40,038 --> 00:15:41,206 Not tonight, Del, thanks. 193 00:15:41,456 --> 00:15:43,626 Line 4, have you got advice for Jessica? 194 00:15:43,876 --> 00:15:45,961 Yes, I do. Hi, Jessica. 195 00:15:46,253 --> 00:15:47,254 My name is Jim. 196 00:15:47,505 --> 00:15:49,715 First let me say how terribly sorry I am... 197 00:15:50,007 --> 00:15:52,051 ...about your misfortune. 198 00:15:52,301 --> 00:15:56,181 And nobody knows better than you that things can't get much worse. 199 00:15:56,848 --> 00:16:00,435 It's also pretty obvious that you need guidance, security... 200 00:16:00,685 --> 00:16:04,649 ...good friends and a healthy dose of self-confidence, Jessica. 201 00:16:06,067 --> 00:16:10,029 What I'm saying is, I think I can help you find a new life. 202 00:16:33,805 --> 00:16:35,683 - Are you Jessica? - Jim? 203 00:16:35,933 --> 00:16:37,184 Yeah, hi. 204 00:16:38,018 --> 00:16:39,603 Am I late or you early? 205 00:16:39,854 --> 00:16:41,856 I'm just a few hours early. 206 00:16:42,106 --> 00:16:43,357 Come on. 207 00:16:48,363 --> 00:16:50,740 I should tell you, my name is really Judy. 208 00:16:50,991 --> 00:16:54,453 I just didn't want anybody I knew to hear me on the radio. 209 00:16:54,703 --> 00:16:57,123 - Macht nichts. - What? 210 00:16:57,540 --> 00:17:00,209 It means, "It makes no difference" in German. 211 00:17:00,501 --> 00:17:02,837 I was stationed over there for 26 months. 212 00:17:03,087 --> 00:17:05,631 UNITED STATES ARMY RECRUITING STATION 213 00:17:06,508 --> 00:17:08,218 What does that look like to you? 214 00:17:08,635 --> 00:17:10,137 What? Club Med? 215 00:17:11,054 --> 00:17:13,974 It's the Fort Ord Army Base in Monterey, California. 216 00:17:14,725 --> 00:17:16,561 Those look like condos. 217 00:17:17,604 --> 00:17:21,649 And every soldier gets his or her own private room. 218 00:17:22,192 --> 00:17:23,485 What are these, yachts? 219 00:17:24,611 --> 00:17:27,615 The Army is the best-kept secret in the world, Judy. 220 00:17:27,865 --> 00:17:30,826 Looks great, but you don't know me. 221 00:17:31,076 --> 00:17:33,037 I'm not the Army type. 222 00:17:33,287 --> 00:17:35,831 Forget that old brown boot image of the Army. 223 00:17:36,081 --> 00:17:40,462 It's the 80s Army, all the ladies love it. All 89,000 of them. 224 00:17:40,796 --> 00:17:43,256 Check out this list of jobs. 225 00:17:43,548 --> 00:17:47,970 There's over 300 jobs, and only a couple of them not offered to ladies. 226 00:17:48,221 --> 00:17:50,431 Trained killers, stuff like that. 227 00:17:51,224 --> 00:17:54,185 - How much do you earn per month now? - Now? 228 00:17:55,269 --> 00:17:56,145 Nothing. 229 00:17:56,395 --> 00:17:57,689 Nothing? 230 00:18:02,069 --> 00:18:03,403 Thanks. 231 00:18:04,988 --> 00:18:06,490 What are you thinking? 232 00:18:09,744 --> 00:18:11,621 I'm thinking about... 233 00:18:13,331 --> 00:18:15,333 ...my family... 234 00:18:15,834 --> 00:18:17,752 ...and my house... 235 00:18:19,463 --> 00:18:22,133 ...and all the gifts I have to return. 236 00:18:25,386 --> 00:18:30,100 You shouldn't be saddled with a lot of responsibilities and decisions now. 237 00:18:30,433 --> 00:18:35,480 I'm prepared to offer you $458 a month, train you in the job of your choice... 238 00:18:35,939 --> 00:18:38,776 ...pay for your food, your housing, all your medical... 239 00:18:39,026 --> 00:18:42,738 ...and give you a 30-day paid vacation. I'll tell you something... 240 00:18:42,989 --> 00:18:44,949 ...with your education and background... 241 00:18:45,199 --> 00:18:47,827 ...you could easily land an assignment in Europe. 242 00:18:48,077 --> 00:18:49,413 Europe? 243 00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:52,666 I do need to get away. 244 00:18:52,916 --> 00:18:56,545 I promise, you'll be in the best physical shape you've ever been in. 245 00:18:57,629 --> 00:19:00,258 It will be like 3 years at La Costa. 246 00:19:01,217 --> 00:19:03,178 La Costa. That's good! 247 00:19:06,890 --> 00:19:09,225 What if I hate it once I get there? 248 00:19:09,477 --> 00:19:10,519 Quit. 249 00:19:10,728 --> 00:19:12,897 It's a job, like anything else. 250 00:19:21,406 --> 00:19:22,365 I... 251 00:19:22,741 --> 00:19:23,950 State your full name. 252 00:19:25,452 --> 00:19:27,537 Do solemnly swear or affirm... 253 00:19:29,164 --> 00:19:31,042 ...I will support and defend... 254 00:19:32,585 --> 00:19:34,879 ...the Constitution of the United States... 255 00:19:37,131 --> 00:19:39,759 ...from all enemies, foreign and domestic. 256 00:19:41,553 --> 00:19:44,097 That I will bear true faith and allegiance... 257 00:19:45,724 --> 00:19:46,600 ...to the same... 258 00:19:47,976 --> 00:19:49,853 ...and will obey the orders... 259 00:19:51,439 --> 00:19:53,733 ...of the President of the United States... 260 00:19:55,318 --> 00:19:57,987 ...and the orders of the officers over me... 261 00:20:00,323 --> 00:20:02,118 ...according to regulations. 262 00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:11,419 All right. 263 00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:15,382 My name is Sergeant L.C. Ross. 264 00:20:15,632 --> 00:20:19,719 And I'll be your drill sergeant for your 6 weeks basic training. 265 00:20:20,095 --> 00:20:23,057 My job is to turn you lovely ladies and gentlemen... 266 00:20:23,307 --> 00:20:25,393 ...into United States soldiers. 267 00:20:25,977 --> 00:20:29,480 The first thing we'll do is put you through your in-processing. 268 00:20:29,730 --> 00:20:34,528 While you are waiting in line for your processing, you will not, I repeat... 269 00:20:34,778 --> 00:20:38,282 ...you will not be flapping your lips. 270 00:20:38,740 --> 00:20:41,285 You'll be filling out these forms. 271 00:20:42,537 --> 00:20:46,416 I'm going to call out your names and I want you to line up behind me. 272 00:20:50,086 --> 00:20:51,045 Abbott. 273 00:20:51,296 --> 00:20:52,423 Barnett. 274 00:20:53,924 --> 00:20:55,176 Benjamin. 275 00:20:56,510 --> 00:20:57,553 Benjamin! 276 00:20:57,803 --> 00:20:59,054 - Sir. - Fall in, Benjamin. 277 00:20:59,305 --> 00:21:00,473 I'm Private Winter... 278 00:21:00,723 --> 00:21:04,603 ...but I think I can be of assistance in locating Private Benjamin. 279 00:21:05,312 --> 00:21:06,480 Sir. 280 00:21:18,284 --> 00:21:20,453 - Are we at the fort? - Yes we are. 281 00:21:20,787 --> 00:21:22,830 Time to wake up now. 282 00:21:24,208 --> 00:21:25,167 In a sec. 283 00:21:25,501 --> 00:21:27,294 Get your ass up and out on the company street! 284 00:21:32,174 --> 00:21:33,425 I never! 285 00:21:33,676 --> 00:21:35,887 Give me 10 pushups! Knock them out! 286 00:21:36,137 --> 00:21:38,264 You mind if I check into my room first? 287 00:21:38,556 --> 00:21:40,725 Assume the position and hit it! 288 00:21:40,975 --> 00:21:42,143 Now! 289 00:21:52,863 --> 00:21:54,282 Up! Down! 290 00:21:58,995 --> 00:22:00,622 What is this, hell week? 291 00:22:00,872 --> 00:22:01,915 No, Benjamin... 292 00:22:02,165 --> 00:22:04,084 ...this is the Army! 293 00:22:12,969 --> 00:22:16,223 Excuse me, sir, is green the only color these come in? 294 00:22:17,850 --> 00:22:21,061 Close it up back there, you meatheads. Go! 295 00:22:21,436 --> 00:22:23,772 Pick it up! Pick it up! Close it up! 296 00:22:24,022 --> 00:22:27,193 Close up that field back there! Come on, move it! 297 00:22:28,778 --> 00:22:30,947 Where are the yachts? 298 00:22:38,706 --> 00:22:41,917 - Excuse me, are you a reporter? - Who, me? 299 00:22:42,585 --> 00:22:43,544 No. 300 00:22:44,253 --> 00:22:47,841 I joined up, but I'm not staying. There's been a mistake. 301 00:22:48,091 --> 00:22:50,177 I'll straighten it out when the manager gets here. 302 00:22:50,427 --> 00:22:53,513 Man on the floor! In front of your cots at attention! 303 00:22:58,436 --> 00:23:00,771 Barracks ready for inspection, Captain. 304 00:23:11,742 --> 00:23:15,370 What's the matter, honey? Are you a crybaby? 305 00:23:15,621 --> 00:23:16,498 No, sir. 306 00:23:16,748 --> 00:23:17,790 Ma'am! 307 00:23:21,878 --> 00:23:24,756 I know how all you ladies drool over this... 308 00:23:25,006 --> 00:23:27,593 ...this Fonzie character... 309 00:23:27,927 --> 00:23:29,261 ...but not in my outfit. 310 00:23:29,512 --> 00:23:30,429 Burn it. 311 00:23:42,859 --> 00:23:45,278 - Your name, soldier? - Private Winter, ma'am. 312 00:23:57,542 --> 00:24:00,504 Outstanding, Winter. Outstanding. 313 00:24:01,171 --> 00:24:02,339 Ladies! 314 00:24:02,589 --> 00:24:04,466 Examine Private Winter's locker. 315 00:24:04,716 --> 00:24:05,884 Learn from it. 316 00:24:07,886 --> 00:24:11,391 You keep this up and we'll talk officer's candidate school. 317 00:24:11,683 --> 00:24:13,768 Thank you, ma'am! 318 00:24:25,072 --> 00:24:27,908 This brassiere isn't regulation, Ross. 319 00:24:28,159 --> 00:24:30,036 And neither is this face. 320 00:24:30,287 --> 00:24:33,415 And you look like a clown, soldier. Clean up your act. 321 00:24:37,544 --> 00:24:40,089 Gianelli's a 308, ma'am. 322 00:24:43,968 --> 00:24:46,596 So it was the Army or jail? 323 00:24:47,930 --> 00:24:51,018 After 6 weeks with me, you're going to wish you chose Attica. 324 00:24:51,268 --> 00:24:53,353 Don't push me, punk. 325 00:24:53,896 --> 00:24:58,567 This is the most pathetic group of trainees I have ever laid my eyes on. 326 00:25:00,487 --> 00:25:02,489 My companies are the best-trained... 327 00:25:02,739 --> 00:25:05,700 ...the best-disciplined soldiers on this base. 328 00:25:09,329 --> 00:25:13,042 I hate to interrupt you, but could I speak to you for a sec? 329 00:25:13,292 --> 00:25:16,837 My Lord! Sergeant, would you look at this! 330 00:25:17,087 --> 00:25:18,923 I've seen it, ma'am. 331 00:25:20,217 --> 00:25:22,427 What's your name, Princess? 332 00:25:22,677 --> 00:25:23,762 Judy. 333 00:25:24,721 --> 00:25:27,349 Judy Benjamin. 334 00:25:29,684 --> 00:25:32,939 I think they sent me to the wrong... 335 00:25:33,564 --> 00:25:35,066 ...place. 336 00:25:35,942 --> 00:25:40,571 You see, I did join the Army, but I joined a different Army. 337 00:25:40,823 --> 00:25:45,410 I joined the one with the condos and the private rooms. 338 00:25:48,497 --> 00:25:51,876 No, really! My recruiter, Jim Ballard, told me that... 339 00:25:52,126 --> 00:25:56,089 I don't care what your lousy recruiter told you, Benjamin. 340 00:25:56,339 --> 00:25:58,508 I'm telling you, there is no other Army. 341 00:25:59,259 --> 00:26:00,593 Wait a minute. 342 00:26:00,844 --> 00:26:03,347 I don't want to have to go to your boss, okay? 343 00:26:05,933 --> 00:26:10,688 To be truthful with you, I can't sleep in a room with 20 strangers. 344 00:26:11,021 --> 00:26:12,023 Oh, dear! 345 00:26:12,274 --> 00:26:15,068 Look at this place. The Army couldn't afford drapes? 346 00:26:15,318 --> 00:26:18,029 I'll be up at the crack of dawn here. 347 00:26:19,489 --> 00:26:23,077 And I have to tell you, I am frankly a little shocked. 348 00:26:23,911 --> 00:26:25,329 You're shocked? 349 00:26:25,663 --> 00:26:26,622 Why? 350 00:26:26,873 --> 00:26:29,917 This place is a sty. 351 00:26:32,713 --> 00:26:35,883 Look at these stains. God knows where this has been. 352 00:26:37,509 --> 00:26:39,595 And have you seen the bathroom? 353 00:26:44,976 --> 00:26:48,521 Do you think that the latrine is unsanitary? 354 00:26:49,439 --> 00:26:50,732 It's disgusting! 355 00:26:52,025 --> 00:26:54,445 There are urinals in there. 356 00:26:55,779 --> 00:26:58,240 That's because this is the Army... 357 00:26:59,533 --> 00:27:01,452 ...it's not a sorority house. 358 00:27:04,748 --> 00:27:08,168 May I see your toothbrush? Please? 359 00:27:28,190 --> 00:27:31,443 Yale, how could you do this to me? 360 00:27:52,341 --> 00:27:54,134 You could eat off that floor. 361 00:27:54,385 --> 00:27:56,137 Why don't you. 362 00:28:09,110 --> 00:28:10,862 Reveille! Let's go! 363 00:28:11,112 --> 00:28:12,780 Everybody up! 364 00:28:13,030 --> 00:28:14,282 Move it! 365 00:28:14,657 --> 00:28:16,827 Everybody up! Everybody move! 366 00:28:17,786 --> 00:28:19,663 Everybody, Benjamin! 367 00:28:19,913 --> 00:28:23,333 You can't mean me. I worked the night shift. 368 00:28:23,625 --> 00:28:26,045 Go check out the bathroom, it's fabulous. 369 00:28:41,395 --> 00:28:42,730 Alpha Company... 370 00:28:42,980 --> 00:28:44,690 ...attention! 371 00:28:44,982 --> 00:28:47,944 Bravo Company, attention! 372 00:29:04,086 --> 00:29:05,213 At ease, gentlemen... 373 00:29:05,630 --> 00:29:06,632 ...and ladies. 374 00:29:09,468 --> 00:29:11,220 I'm your post commander. 375 00:29:12,012 --> 00:29:13,597 Colonel Clay Thornbush. 376 00:29:13,889 --> 00:29:14,932 Welcome... 377 00:29:15,224 --> 00:29:18,394 ...to the Biloxi, Mississippi Basic Training Center. 378 00:29:18,645 --> 00:29:20,522 The backbone of the U.S. Army. 379 00:29:20,772 --> 00:29:23,900 You have two company commanders to lead you through basic. 380 00:29:24,150 --> 00:29:26,069 Capt. Doreen Lewis, a 5-year veteran... 381 00:29:26,319 --> 00:29:28,364 ...here at Fort Biloxi, of Alpha Company. 382 00:29:28,614 --> 00:29:30,157 And a newcomer to the family... 383 00:29:30,407 --> 00:29:33,160 ...Captain William Wooldridge, Bravo Company. 384 00:29:33,410 --> 00:29:36,247 Here, we turn out the best-fed, best-trained... 385 00:29:36,497 --> 00:29:38,834 ...soldiers, but it doesn't come easy. 386 00:29:39,251 --> 00:29:42,504 It does not happen overnight. You must have the strength... 387 00:29:43,755 --> 00:29:46,716 ...the self-discipline, and mental stamina necessary... 388 00:29:46,967 --> 00:29:49,887 ...to meet the standards of the United States Army. 389 00:29:50,137 --> 00:29:52,223 The next 6 weeks will be the test. 390 00:29:53,057 --> 00:29:54,433 It'll be hell... 391 00:29:56,352 --> 00:29:58,230 ...but you'll be glad you did it. 392 00:30:01,066 --> 00:30:02,693 Move it! 393 00:30:04,820 --> 00:30:06,071 Left, right! Left! 394 00:30:15,540 --> 00:30:19,044 I thought it would be a few leg lifts, a little stretching... 395 00:30:19,295 --> 00:30:21,672 ...maybe a disco class, you know. 396 00:30:21,922 --> 00:30:24,633 You're not real talkative, are you, Soyer? 397 00:30:25,467 --> 00:30:26,635 We run them out... 398 00:30:26,927 --> 00:30:28,554 ...and we march them back. 399 00:30:29,514 --> 00:30:33,977 Then about twice a week, I spring a surprise inspection on them. 400 00:30:34,227 --> 00:30:35,896 That's good Army. 401 00:30:37,189 --> 00:30:38,982 Keeps them on their toes. 402 00:30:40,818 --> 00:30:43,321 - Got one more question. - Shoot. 403 00:30:44,947 --> 00:30:45,907 Are you busy Friday? 404 00:32:17,382 --> 00:32:19,050 Look out, Gianelli! 405 00:32:28,102 --> 00:32:30,062 I can't take anymore. They've broken me. 406 00:32:30,313 --> 00:32:32,900 - I'm quitting. - Girl, you can't quit this Army. 407 00:32:33,150 --> 00:32:36,403 I can. The recruiter told me quit anytime I want. 408 00:32:36,653 --> 00:32:39,364 Jesus, you still believe your recruiter? 409 00:32:39,615 --> 00:32:41,491 It's only for 3 years. 410 00:32:41,742 --> 00:32:43,953 Company halt! 411 00:32:49,876 --> 00:32:50,919 Move it, Benjamin! 412 00:32:51,169 --> 00:32:55,216 I don't want to see you stop running unless you collapse, faint or puke! 413 00:33:07,521 --> 00:33:10,941 I have never looked worse in my life! 414 00:33:12,317 --> 00:33:14,987 Has anybody ever died from basic? 415 00:33:49,692 --> 00:33:51,151 Excuse me. 416 00:33:59,452 --> 00:34:01,663 I think you took my blanket. 417 00:34:02,163 --> 00:34:05,668 This is my blanket. You gave it to me. 418 00:34:07,712 --> 00:34:10,840 - I don't think I did. - Maybe you just forgot. 419 00:34:11,090 --> 00:34:12,884 Maybe you got brain damage. 420 00:34:15,929 --> 00:34:17,681 Okay, I gave it to you. 421 00:34:17,931 --> 00:34:19,433 By mistake. 422 00:34:20,225 --> 00:34:22,519 - I want it back, okay? - Take it. 423 00:35:14,910 --> 00:35:16,495 Where are you going? 424 00:35:18,206 --> 00:35:19,541 Home. 425 00:35:27,382 --> 00:35:29,969 We're going to have to do this again real soon. 426 00:35:31,178 --> 00:35:33,264 How about every Friday night? 427 00:35:35,349 --> 00:35:37,894 I'm going to set you free, Doreen. 428 00:36:01,712 --> 00:36:03,964 Captain Lewis, ma'am, we've got trouble. 429 00:36:08,051 --> 00:36:09,554 My hair! 430 00:36:18,354 --> 00:36:21,191 Benjamin, you are not fit to wear that uniform! 431 00:36:21,442 --> 00:36:23,110 No shit! 432 00:36:26,238 --> 00:36:30,410 What do you want from me? I didn't ask her to punish everybody! 433 00:36:30,660 --> 00:36:33,371 You think I like schlepping in rain all day and night? 434 00:36:33,622 --> 00:36:35,749 Just keep marching, Benjamin! 435 00:36:35,999 --> 00:36:39,127 My name is Judy! J-U-D-Y... 436 00:36:39,377 --> 00:36:42,006 ...and I'd like somebody to call me by my name. 437 00:36:42,632 --> 00:36:44,008 Hey, Judy! 438 00:36:45,343 --> 00:36:47,970 I took my life in my own hands. I made a mistake. 439 00:36:48,221 --> 00:36:51,600 I'm sorry. I'll never do it again! I want to wear my sandals! 440 00:36:53,227 --> 00:36:55,395 I want to go out to lunch. 441 00:36:55,646 --> 00:36:57,522 I want to be normal again. 442 00:36:57,814 --> 00:37:00,693 Would you please just shut up, Benjamin! 443 00:37:00,944 --> 00:37:04,405 God! Never in all my born days met such a whiny... 444 00:37:04,739 --> 00:37:06,616 ...candy-ass as you! 445 00:37:06,866 --> 00:37:10,161 I don't want to be in the Army! 446 00:37:15,501 --> 00:37:17,086 But we do, okay? 447 00:37:17,336 --> 00:37:19,755 We can't afford any more trouble on account of you. 448 00:37:21,466 --> 00:37:23,927 I thought you and I could be friends, but you're... 449 00:37:24,177 --> 00:37:26,972 - Forget it! - What? I'm what? 450 00:37:27,764 --> 00:37:31,018 You're the most insensitive person I've ever met. 451 00:37:31,352 --> 00:37:33,354 That is so untrue! 452 00:37:33,604 --> 00:37:37,692 I never go to someone's home empty-handed! 453 00:37:38,150 --> 00:37:39,902 People love me! 454 00:37:40,152 --> 00:37:41,153 Platoon, halt! 455 00:37:42,364 --> 00:37:43,782 Fall out! 456 00:37:51,666 --> 00:37:52,875 To the day room... 457 00:37:53,126 --> 00:37:54,294 ...on the double! 458 00:38:13,106 --> 00:38:14,941 They didn't tell me it was you. 459 00:38:25,036 --> 00:38:26,245 Hi, Mom. 460 00:38:34,838 --> 00:38:36,423 Hi, Daddy. 461 00:38:43,473 --> 00:38:45,016 Sit down, Judy. 462 00:38:46,768 --> 00:38:48,102 I was... 463 00:38:48,353 --> 00:38:51,689 ...going to call, but I wasn't feeling very good. 464 00:38:55,110 --> 00:38:56,695 Eight days. 465 00:38:57,696 --> 00:38:59,782 Our daughter disappears... 466 00:39:00,032 --> 00:39:02,785 ...for eight days without a single word. 467 00:39:04,621 --> 00:39:08,875 We thought you were kidnapped. The FBI was looking for you... 468 00:39:09,125 --> 00:39:11,169 ...when some stranger calls... 469 00:39:11,419 --> 00:39:15,424 ...telling us how fine you are and that you'd enlisted in the Army. 470 00:39:16,759 --> 00:39:18,719 We tried to figure out why. 471 00:39:19,845 --> 00:39:22,890 Personally, I think you've gone temporarily insane. 472 00:39:23,474 --> 00:39:25,727 That's what we told everyone. 473 00:39:26,228 --> 00:39:28,772 We said that you had a collapse... 474 00:39:29,022 --> 00:39:31,066 ...and that you were in a mental home. 475 00:39:32,401 --> 00:39:34,027 People think I'm in a mental home? 476 00:39:35,154 --> 00:39:36,197 What should we say? 477 00:39:36,447 --> 00:39:40,285 That you're in an Army barracks in Mississippi with a bunch of... 478 00:39:40,535 --> 00:39:42,912 - What? - I don't know what! 479 00:39:44,622 --> 00:39:46,458 That's why I don't like it. 480 00:39:48,460 --> 00:39:51,922 How could you do this to your parents? 481 00:39:52,464 --> 00:39:57,012 Haven't we done enough for you? Given you everything you wanted? 482 00:39:57,262 --> 00:40:01,766 Did I get you a car on your sixteenth birthday? Did I get you into college? 483 00:40:02,017 --> 00:40:05,521 Did I bail you out of your first marriage to that schmuck? Did I? 484 00:40:05,771 --> 00:40:06,647 Relax. 485 00:40:06,898 --> 00:40:08,691 I am relaxed! 486 00:40:13,362 --> 00:40:16,116 Why are you punishing us? 487 00:40:21,038 --> 00:40:22,915 Maybe you hate us. 488 00:40:25,626 --> 00:40:27,503 I don't hate you, I love you. 489 00:40:29,797 --> 00:40:32,508 You know your Aunt Kissy is living with us now. 490 00:40:33,801 --> 00:40:34,677 Why? 491 00:40:35,011 --> 00:40:37,723 Because you mother's had a nervous breakdown, that's why! 492 00:40:42,728 --> 00:40:47,108 You were never a smart girl. We're all going to stop pretending now. 493 00:40:49,653 --> 00:40:53,949 You are obviously incapable of making your own decisions. 494 00:40:54,574 --> 00:40:58,329 Starting tomorrow, I do not let you out of my sight. 495 00:40:58,579 --> 00:41:00,039 I don't care how much you cry. 496 00:41:00,623 --> 00:41:02,541 The Benjamins! 497 00:41:03,542 --> 00:41:05,127 Captain Lewis. 498 00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:11,885 It is so good to meet you in person. 499 00:41:12,594 --> 00:41:13,512 Thank you. 500 00:41:15,138 --> 00:41:17,475 Captain Lewis said we could take you home, darling. 501 00:41:18,101 --> 00:41:22,355 I'm sorry that things just didn't work out here for Judy. 502 00:41:23,356 --> 00:41:25,483 She's a hard worker. 503 00:41:25,733 --> 00:41:27,987 She's very... popular... 504 00:41:28,237 --> 00:41:30,531 ...with all the other girls. 505 00:41:31,198 --> 00:41:33,701 We are sad to see her go. 506 00:41:36,328 --> 00:41:40,333 If you sign here on the dotted line, you're as good as home, young lady. 507 00:41:41,459 --> 00:41:42,752 Right there. 508 00:41:46,089 --> 00:41:47,591 Here, darling. Here you are. 509 00:41:49,135 --> 00:41:51,596 Come on, take it. 510 00:41:54,432 --> 00:41:55,975 No, thanks. 511 00:41:57,351 --> 00:41:59,104 Think I'll stay. 512 00:42:12,243 --> 00:42:13,119 Mom. 513 00:42:13,786 --> 00:42:14,662 Daddy. 514 00:43:12,393 --> 00:43:13,769 All right, knock it off! 515 00:43:14,019 --> 00:43:15,521 Break it! Let's go! 516 00:43:45,679 --> 00:43:50,017 Welcome to the Biloxi War Games, the Super Bowl of Basic Training. 517 00:43:50,309 --> 00:43:53,229 Simulated combat will test your skills and courage. 518 00:43:53,479 --> 00:43:56,899 Captain Wooldridge will lead the red team. Captain Lewis... 519 00:43:57,150 --> 00:44:01,029 ...the blue team. I will be observing the exercises from the air. 520 00:44:01,904 --> 00:44:03,991 Good luck. And fight proud! 521 00:44:06,118 --> 00:44:07,369 Fight proud! 522 00:44:17,797 --> 00:44:19,257 Thompson, Hike... 523 00:44:19,507 --> 00:44:21,551 ...Katz, Byron... 524 00:44:21,801 --> 00:44:22,845 ...Richter! 525 00:44:23,596 --> 00:44:27,725 Your objective is to capture and blow up Red Team's communication center. 526 00:44:27,975 --> 00:44:29,936 Beware, mine-fields are out there. 527 00:44:30,186 --> 00:44:31,938 Most of them are inert... 528 00:44:32,188 --> 00:44:33,440 ...but some are ert. 529 00:44:33,982 --> 00:44:35,317 Take off! 530 00:44:35,567 --> 00:44:36,693 Private Winter! 531 00:44:39,404 --> 00:44:41,782 You'll serve as Captain Lewis' aide-de-camp. 532 00:44:42,991 --> 00:44:44,827 Sir. Yes, sir! 533 00:44:45,912 --> 00:44:46,788 Team "C"! 534 00:44:47,330 --> 00:44:49,290 Gianelli, Glass... 535 00:44:49,540 --> 00:44:51,542 ...Moe, Benjamin... 536 00:44:51,793 --> 00:44:52,961 ...Soyer! 537 00:44:54,004 --> 00:44:56,966 Your objective is to guard this area here. 538 00:44:57,216 --> 00:44:59,677 Excuse me, Drill Sergeant, what is that area? 539 00:45:00,803 --> 00:45:02,221 That's the swamp. 540 00:45:02,846 --> 00:45:03,806 Swamp? 541 00:45:06,476 --> 00:45:07,894 Take off! 542 00:45:24,453 --> 00:45:27,624 If you can't read that map, why don't you just say it? 543 00:45:27,874 --> 00:45:30,085 You're supposed to be the point man! 544 00:45:30,335 --> 00:45:32,337 Benj pointed me in the wrong direction! 545 00:45:32,629 --> 00:45:36,092 - What am I, Magellan? - What are we going to guard, algae? 546 00:45:37,969 --> 00:45:39,887 Let's just go straight north. 547 00:45:40,138 --> 00:45:42,265 - We came from the north! - Let's go south. 548 00:45:42,515 --> 00:45:43,933 Wait! Relax. 549 00:45:44,183 --> 00:45:46,145 If we can't get back by tomorrow... 550 00:45:46,520 --> 00:45:48,022 ...they'll send a search plane. 551 00:45:48,272 --> 00:45:50,524 We have enough bodies to spell "help"? 552 00:45:51,025 --> 00:45:51,984 Let's go. 553 00:45:58,908 --> 00:46:01,870 The first time I ever did it... 554 00:46:09,545 --> 00:46:13,215 ...was on an overnight hike with my Bible class. 555 00:46:15,635 --> 00:46:19,890 We're talking Laemil Lefebvre, my preacher's son. 556 00:46:25,687 --> 00:46:30,151 I'd never done nothing in my life before. Nothing! 557 00:46:30,401 --> 00:46:32,987 And he just climbed right smack-dab... 558 00:46:33,237 --> 00:46:36,032 ...in the middle of my sleeping bag, and I was scared. 559 00:46:38,035 --> 00:46:41,246 Not to mention the fact that his daddy, the preacher... 560 00:46:41,497 --> 00:46:44,166 ...was right over there, just about ten feet away. 561 00:46:44,416 --> 00:46:45,292 How was it? 562 00:46:46,502 --> 00:46:47,921 Quiet... 563 00:46:48,463 --> 00:46:51,466 ...but very nice. Very nice! 564 00:46:55,011 --> 00:46:57,013 I had an orgasm once. 565 00:46:59,976 --> 00:47:01,769 But I was alone. 566 00:47:04,146 --> 00:47:07,149 I guess you must have been alone. 567 00:47:14,533 --> 00:47:16,076 Once... 568 00:47:16,827 --> 00:47:21,374 ...when I was with my first husband, I got to this place... 569 00:47:21,666 --> 00:47:24,627 ...that was kind of nice and tingly. 570 00:47:30,009 --> 00:47:32,136 I don't know if it was official. 571 00:47:32,386 --> 00:47:35,222 I mean, I don't know if this was an official... 572 00:47:35,472 --> 00:47:37,474 ...orgasm, you know. 573 00:47:40,061 --> 00:47:44,149 But I counted it as one for five years. 574 00:47:47,319 --> 00:47:49,238 How many times have you been married? 575 00:47:52,325 --> 00:47:53,701 Twice. 576 00:47:56,370 --> 00:47:59,207 The first time for six weeks... 577 00:47:59,541 --> 00:48:01,293 ...and the second time... 578 00:48:01,543 --> 00:48:02,919 ...for six hours. 579 00:48:03,170 --> 00:48:04,046 Six hours? 580 00:48:04,796 --> 00:48:07,090 My husband had a heart attack and died. 581 00:48:07,341 --> 00:48:08,300 What?! 582 00:48:10,303 --> 00:48:12,805 My husband had a heart attack... 583 00:48:13,056 --> 00:48:16,225 ...and died on our wedding night. 584 00:48:17,894 --> 00:48:19,939 While we were making love. 585 00:48:21,106 --> 00:48:22,650 Holy shit! 586 00:48:22,900 --> 00:48:24,860 Jesus, Benjamin! 587 00:48:25,194 --> 00:48:27,947 I don't get it. What do you do after a thing like that? 588 00:48:32,327 --> 00:48:34,037 Join the Army. 589 00:48:56,228 --> 00:49:00,190 We're lost. We've passed that same alligator 7 times. 590 00:49:00,440 --> 00:49:02,235 I bet the war games are over by now. 591 00:49:02,485 --> 00:49:05,655 - Lewis is going to just kill us! - There's a plane! 592 00:49:05,905 --> 00:49:08,491 I bet that's headed back to base. Let's follow it. 593 00:49:08,741 --> 00:49:11,287 I hope it's not Delta to Miami. 594 00:49:12,454 --> 00:49:15,082 Look, it's the Red Army headquarters. 595 00:49:18,085 --> 00:49:19,295 Quiet! 596 00:49:25,510 --> 00:49:26,594 Great. 597 00:49:26,970 --> 00:49:30,473 - You owe me $6.95. - You got it! 598 00:49:42,446 --> 00:49:46,241 Hey, blood, how you doing? All right, looking good! 599 00:49:46,491 --> 00:49:49,202 - What's happening, girl? - What can I tell you? 600 00:49:49,953 --> 00:49:52,290 You're my prisoner of war, that's what's happening! 601 00:49:52,540 --> 00:49:56,377 - I ain't your nothing. Get that... - I mean what I say! 602 00:49:59,964 --> 00:50:01,132 Drop it! 603 00:50:04,428 --> 00:50:05,346 No, you drop it. 604 00:50:06,972 --> 00:50:08,515 I said, drop it! 605 00:50:10,768 --> 00:50:14,356 - Where's Captain Wooldridge? - In the tent interrogating a P.O.W. 606 00:50:15,231 --> 00:50:16,650 Get the keys to the truck. 607 00:50:17,192 --> 00:50:18,360 Come on. 608 00:50:21,821 --> 00:50:23,449 - Oh, shit! - Don't worry. 609 00:50:23,699 --> 00:50:25,868 - I'll hot-wire it. - You know how? 610 00:50:26,369 --> 00:50:27,954 That's my former career. 611 00:50:28,204 --> 00:50:29,330 Excellent! 612 00:50:47,058 --> 00:50:48,267 What? 613 00:50:50,728 --> 00:50:51,604 Freeze! 614 00:50:52,438 --> 00:50:54,358 Private Winter! 615 00:50:56,485 --> 00:50:58,028 Well, lookee here! 616 00:50:58,278 --> 00:51:01,907 - Look what we got. - Listen, Captain Lewis... 617 00:51:02,616 --> 00:51:04,995 She sent me out to find you guys and... 618 00:51:06,288 --> 00:51:07,580 ...I got captured. 619 00:51:08,873 --> 00:51:11,501 He promised me he'd put in a good word with Captain Lewis. 620 00:51:11,751 --> 00:51:13,420 And I really don't like him. 621 00:51:14,170 --> 00:51:15,923 Take the prisoners. 622 00:51:17,508 --> 00:51:20,219 Attention all Red Team personnel. 623 00:51:20,469 --> 00:51:23,597 The Blue Team has surrendered. The Red Team has won. 624 00:51:23,848 --> 00:51:25,392 So follow us. 625 00:51:26,310 --> 00:51:28,520 Attention all Red Team personnel. 626 00:51:28,937 --> 00:51:30,522 The Blue Team has surrendered. 627 00:51:30,772 --> 00:51:33,317 The Red Team has won, so follow us. 628 00:51:39,073 --> 00:51:41,075 Red Team captured! 629 00:51:42,160 --> 00:51:44,245 Ross, take the platoon... 630 00:51:45,413 --> 00:51:46,540 ...head due west. 631 00:51:48,208 --> 00:51:51,754 I'll lead the remaining troops to the east. 632 00:51:59,679 --> 00:52:00,930 What now? 633 00:52:01,348 --> 00:52:02,557 Got any ideas? 634 00:52:09,148 --> 00:52:11,651 Off your asses! On your feet! 635 00:52:16,155 --> 00:52:19,076 Overwhelming enemy forces approaching. 636 00:52:19,785 --> 00:52:24,498 Blue Team Company Commander requests permission to surrender, sir. 637 00:52:24,957 --> 00:52:27,001 Do you accept surrender of Blue Team? 638 00:52:27,251 --> 00:52:30,672 No, sir. We do not, because we are also the Blue Team, sir. 639 00:52:30,922 --> 00:52:32,465 Identify yourself, soldier! 640 00:52:32,715 --> 00:52:35,134 Sir, Private Benjamin, sir! 641 00:52:48,650 --> 00:52:49,985 At ease! 642 00:52:50,235 --> 00:52:52,153 Which one of you is Private Benjamin? 643 00:52:52,404 --> 00:52:53,571 Sir, I am, sir. 644 00:52:55,448 --> 00:52:57,660 - Outstanding! - Thank you, sir! 645 00:52:57,910 --> 00:53:00,955 Here's the rest of the squad. Privates Glass, Gianelli... 646 00:53:01,205 --> 00:53:03,541 ...Private Moe and Private Soyer, sir. 647 00:53:05,042 --> 00:53:06,877 Where is the Red Team Commander? 648 00:53:38,203 --> 00:53:40,999 Captain Lewis, you are lucky to have troopers like this! 649 00:53:41,333 --> 00:53:42,667 Congratulations! 650 00:53:43,126 --> 00:53:46,212 Next time don't be so quick to raise the white flag. 651 00:53:46,963 --> 00:53:49,383 - Yes, sir. - The war games are concluded. 652 00:53:49,634 --> 00:53:52,887 Troops are dismissed. I will see you tomorrow at graduation. 653 00:53:59,603 --> 00:54:01,980 - Yes, sir! - Can I offer your team a lift? 654 00:54:18,706 --> 00:54:23,087 Meet two of our Thornbirds! Lieutenant Gomez and Sergeant Gates. 655 00:54:25,881 --> 00:54:28,801 Fabulous uniforms! What's a Thornbird, sir? 656 00:54:29,051 --> 00:54:33,640 An elite airborne corp. We recruit them from the best bases in the country. 657 00:54:34,265 --> 00:54:37,018 I'm damn proud of them, like I'm proud of you girls. 658 00:54:37,268 --> 00:54:39,396 It's a hell of a job you did today! 659 00:54:40,773 --> 00:54:42,233 Where do you hail from? 660 00:54:43,442 --> 00:54:45,152 Philadelphia, sir. 661 00:54:46,529 --> 00:54:50,533 It's the seat of our democracy! Thornie Two is from Philadelphia. 662 00:54:50,951 --> 00:54:51,994 Thornie Two, sir? 663 00:54:52,411 --> 00:54:53,662 My wife. 664 00:54:54,496 --> 00:54:57,666 After 20 years watching us crazy guys jump out of airplanes... 665 00:54:58,041 --> 00:55:00,836 ...she decided she wanted to try it. Remember, Ed? 666 00:55:01,963 --> 00:55:04,090 We took her up, almost had to shove her out! 667 00:55:04,507 --> 00:55:06,676 She had a good time, but she landed wrong. 668 00:55:07,051 --> 00:55:10,888 Broke her arm in 3 places. Lucky we didn't have to shoot her, right? 669 00:55:12,308 --> 00:55:13,642 We're approaching, sir. 670 00:55:14,018 --> 00:55:16,478 I'll take her down. You trust me, don't you? 671 00:55:16,729 --> 00:55:17,813 Oh, yes, sir! 672 00:55:18,188 --> 00:55:20,858 Then let's do it to it! 673 00:55:21,483 --> 00:55:25,655 - Tell your men to hang on, Benjamin! - Hang on, men. 674 00:56:34,690 --> 00:56:36,775 Whoop-de-do! 675 00:56:39,403 --> 00:56:42,489 Inspection, ladies! 676 00:56:55,963 --> 00:56:57,673 Lady Luck! 677 00:57:02,594 --> 00:57:05,390 Don't you look at me with those baby blues. 678 00:57:07,267 --> 00:57:09,936 I'm not the great Thornie. 679 00:57:12,731 --> 00:57:17,570 You finally succeeded in making a fool out of me, didn't you? 680 00:57:19,322 --> 00:57:20,740 Ma'am. Yes, ma'am. 681 00:57:21,198 --> 00:57:24,827 I've got a reward for you, my little hero. 682 00:57:26,121 --> 00:57:29,791 You're all going to scour every inch of this rat's nest! 683 00:57:30,625 --> 00:57:32,461 Inside and out. 684 00:57:34,504 --> 00:57:37,675 I mean the bed frames, the window ledges... 685 00:57:37,925 --> 00:57:40,011 ...the linoleum... 686 00:57:41,888 --> 00:57:43,598 ...the toilet seats. 687 00:57:45,767 --> 00:57:47,436 You understand me? 688 00:57:47,895 --> 00:57:49,980 Ma'am. Yes, ma'am. 689 00:57:50,731 --> 00:57:52,107 I can't hear you. 690 00:57:54,360 --> 00:57:56,655 I can't hear you! 691 00:58:05,497 --> 00:58:06,707 Thank you. 692 00:58:10,628 --> 00:58:13,547 It breaks my little old heart... 693 00:58:13,798 --> 00:58:16,092 ...to have to bust up our winning team... 694 00:58:16,342 --> 00:58:19,346 ...but I have been assigned to a new post. 695 00:58:19,596 --> 00:58:21,264 A good post! 696 00:58:22,766 --> 00:58:25,519 Let's not keep in touch, shall we! 697 00:59:07,815 --> 00:59:10,360 Busted up, the whole team. 698 00:59:10,610 --> 00:59:12,112 Busted up. 699 00:59:13,447 --> 00:59:16,241 I have been assigned to a new post. 700 00:59:23,249 --> 00:59:24,417 Come on. 701 01:00:03,251 --> 01:00:04,753 Good post! 702 01:00:36,037 --> 01:00:37,497 That was nice. 703 01:00:38,707 --> 01:00:40,918 Keep in touch, shall we? 704 01:02:02,799 --> 01:02:03,926 At ease! 705 01:02:08,097 --> 01:02:09,890 Didn't think you'd make it, did you? 706 01:02:12,184 --> 01:02:15,105 You will no longer be known as trainees. 707 01:02:17,524 --> 01:02:19,984 You have earned the right to call yourselves... 708 01:02:20,276 --> 01:02:23,488 ...United States soldiers, and I'm proud of each of you. 709 01:02:26,158 --> 01:02:27,868 On Monday you will receive... 710 01:02:28,119 --> 01:02:31,122 ...your advanced individual training assignments. 711 01:02:31,747 --> 01:02:32,873 Each of you... 712 01:02:39,881 --> 01:02:40,966 ...will be given... 713 01:02:41,508 --> 01:02:44,136 ...a special responsibility which will play... 714 01:02:44,387 --> 01:02:47,473 ...a key role in the defense of the free world. 715 01:02:47,807 --> 01:02:50,059 My heartfelt congratulations and best wishes. 716 01:02:52,520 --> 01:02:54,188 I almost forgot. 717 01:02:56,400 --> 01:02:58,986 Dismissed till 0800 Monday morning. Have a good one! 718 01:03:27,642 --> 01:03:28,518 Evening, ladies. 719 01:03:28,769 --> 01:03:30,312 We're not interested. 720 01:03:30,562 --> 01:03:32,397 Sorry. 721 01:03:33,899 --> 01:03:35,734 All right, I'm uptight, okay? 722 01:03:35,985 --> 01:03:39,405 Get yourself a drink, we're going to cruise. 723 01:04:08,145 --> 01:04:11,524 Judy Benjamin, this is Johnny Rourke. 724 01:04:11,774 --> 01:04:14,151 And Kim... I forget your last name. 725 01:04:14,402 --> 01:04:15,528 Osaka. 726 01:04:16,904 --> 01:04:19,658 Come on, sweetheart, let's go. 727 01:04:22,703 --> 01:04:24,955 What's happening, Judy? 728 01:04:27,667 --> 01:04:28,960 Bourbon, no ice. 729 01:04:31,129 --> 01:04:33,381 I'm with Olivetti of Tokyo. 730 01:04:33,631 --> 01:04:36,092 Johnny is my southeastern U.S. Sales manager. 731 01:04:36,342 --> 01:04:39,138 He always shows me a hip time. 732 01:04:43,308 --> 01:04:44,977 What time is it? 733 01:04:47,396 --> 01:04:49,357 I just took your picture, mama! 734 01:04:51,568 --> 01:04:53,570 Very hip. 735 01:04:53,987 --> 01:04:56,781 Look, I've got to go back to the base. 736 01:04:57,032 --> 01:04:59,493 Where's the fire? Come on. 737 01:05:00,161 --> 01:05:02,955 This could be a big night for you. 738 01:05:04,540 --> 01:05:06,250 Sincerely. 739 01:05:08,503 --> 01:05:10,172 Liz? 740 01:05:10,672 --> 01:05:12,090 - How are you? - God, I'm fine. 741 01:05:12,340 --> 01:05:14,634 I can't believe this! 742 01:05:15,635 --> 01:05:19,140 Listen, thanks, but I don't need the loan. 743 01:05:19,390 --> 01:05:21,100 What are you doing in New Orleans? 744 01:05:21,350 --> 01:05:23,978 My dad's here on a medical conference and we all came. 745 01:05:24,228 --> 01:05:25,855 Come and see them, they'll die! 746 01:05:26,105 --> 01:05:28,608 Wait a minute. Who is that with your parents? 747 01:05:30,235 --> 01:05:34,156 A French gynecologist. He and Dad spoke on the Lamaze panel together. 748 01:05:34,615 --> 01:05:36,658 - Isn't he totally gorgeous? - Totally. 749 01:05:36,909 --> 01:05:39,203 If it weren't for Jeffrey, I'd go for him myself. 750 01:05:39,454 --> 01:05:41,373 Look who I found! 751 01:05:43,166 --> 01:05:45,168 My God, how are you, darling? 752 01:05:45,418 --> 01:05:49,297 Kid, you look wonderful! Please give me a hug. 753 01:05:53,219 --> 01:05:54,595 Sit down. 754 01:05:57,473 --> 01:05:59,850 - Henri Tremont. - Benjamin, Judy. 755 01:06:00,102 --> 01:06:02,854 Will you look at this? GI Judy! 756 01:06:03,105 --> 01:06:05,065 We'll call your parents. 757 01:06:05,315 --> 01:06:07,275 They'll be so thrilled we saw you. 758 01:06:07,526 --> 01:06:10,028 Your mother's coming along very nicely. 759 01:06:10,321 --> 01:06:12,198 She gained back some of the weight. 760 01:06:13,741 --> 01:06:14,784 Champagne? 761 01:06:15,076 --> 01:06:16,369 I'd love some, thank you. 762 01:06:16,619 --> 01:06:17,995 Since Yale's fu... 763 01:06:19,414 --> 01:06:23,210 By the way, I can't get over you in this Army outfit. 764 01:06:23,460 --> 01:06:26,171 She didn't swim because she didn't want her hair wet. 765 01:06:26,422 --> 01:06:27,631 This is true. 766 01:06:27,881 --> 01:06:29,258 What it's like to be a WAC? 767 01:06:29,550 --> 01:06:32,137 - I'm not a WAC. - How often do you talk to your folks? 768 01:06:32,387 --> 01:06:35,140 Tell Henri how long we've known your parents. 769 01:06:35,432 --> 01:06:38,059 Shall I make a long story short? 770 01:06:38,893 --> 01:06:40,603 Leo and I and Judy's parents... 771 01:06:40,854 --> 01:06:45,067 ...double-dated in Atlantic City, before even any one of us was married. 772 01:06:45,317 --> 01:06:48,571 It wasn't Atlantic City. It was Asbury Park, but it's all right. 773 01:06:48,821 --> 01:06:52,242 I've never been to Asbury Park in my life. 774 01:06:55,162 --> 01:06:56,288 Would you like to dance? 775 01:06:56,788 --> 01:06:58,498 I'd love to dance. 776 01:07:12,389 --> 01:07:14,058 The Lemishes are terrific people... 777 01:07:14,308 --> 01:07:17,853 ...but 4 hours of making long stories short was driving me crazy. 778 01:07:18,103 --> 01:07:20,939 4 hours? Try 28 years. 779 01:07:24,903 --> 01:07:27,697 I've never danced with a soldier before. 780 01:07:27,947 --> 01:07:30,825 I've never danced as a soldier before. 781 01:07:33,829 --> 01:07:36,040 - I kind of like it. - So do I. 782 01:07:41,754 --> 01:07:44,007 Do you have a boyfriend in this Army? 783 01:07:44,257 --> 01:07:45,509 No. 784 01:07:47,594 --> 01:07:49,554 Don't you get lonely? 785 01:07:50,597 --> 01:07:54,352 - How'd you get to speak English so well? - Baltimore. 786 01:07:54,602 --> 01:07:57,647 - Maryland? - I went to med school at Johns Hopkins. 787 01:08:16,418 --> 01:08:20,171 I just can't believe that you're in this Army. 788 01:08:22,882 --> 01:08:25,302 If I knew you better, I'd show you my dog tags. 789 01:08:27,012 --> 01:08:28,180 How much better? 790 01:08:48,453 --> 01:08:50,413 Let's go to my room. 791 01:08:55,586 --> 01:08:58,047 I'm really attracted to you. 792 01:08:59,048 --> 01:09:03,469 But I'm not ready to make love to a man I just met an hour and a half ago. 793 01:09:04,344 --> 01:09:06,056 I'm sorry. 794 01:09:06,473 --> 01:09:08,600 That's just the way I am. 795 01:09:10,351 --> 01:09:14,981 Usually, by the time I kiss a guy, I already know his mother's maiden name. 796 01:09:17,693 --> 01:09:19,445 I wish I knew you better. 797 01:09:20,029 --> 01:09:21,781 I'm thirty-four... 798 01:09:22,073 --> 01:09:25,117 ...and I live alone in Neuilly, on the outskirts of Paris. 799 01:09:26,495 --> 01:09:28,997 I'm the only child... 800 01:09:29,498 --> 01:09:31,833 ...and my father is also a doctor. 801 01:09:33,126 --> 01:09:34,419 What else? 802 01:09:35,629 --> 01:09:38,132 When I'm not working I play soccer. 803 01:09:39,842 --> 01:09:41,844 Let's see... 804 01:09:43,012 --> 01:09:44,597 I'm Jewish. 805 01:10:08,165 --> 01:10:11,710 Now I know what I've been faking all these years. 806 01:10:21,680 --> 01:10:23,181 That was your first? 807 01:10:25,183 --> 01:10:26,810 And second. 808 01:10:39,366 --> 01:10:40,909 Where are you going? 809 01:10:41,160 --> 01:10:44,371 - Just to get a sip of champagne. - I want to go with you. 810 01:10:59,346 --> 01:11:00,848 I'm sorry. 811 01:11:05,061 --> 01:11:06,353 No I'm not. 812 01:11:09,691 --> 01:11:11,109 What? 813 01:11:12,527 --> 01:11:14,237 Private Benjamin. 814 01:11:17,240 --> 01:11:19,702 Meeting you tonight was... 815 01:11:22,955 --> 01:11:25,208 It was just what I needed. 816 01:11:35,260 --> 01:11:37,387 What you needed? 817 01:11:45,605 --> 01:11:47,357 If you're ever in Paris... 818 01:11:48,525 --> 01:11:50,319 If you're ever in Biloxi. 819 01:11:55,032 --> 01:11:56,784 It was nice meeting you. 820 01:12:17,640 --> 01:12:18,766 What did you get? 821 01:12:19,016 --> 01:12:22,980 - MP School. - You can put your violence to good use. 822 01:12:23,272 --> 01:12:25,524 - Smoke and flame specialist. - What's that? 823 01:12:25,774 --> 01:12:26,734 A fireman. 824 01:12:26,984 --> 01:12:29,570 I got transferred to Fort Ord, California. 825 01:12:29,820 --> 01:12:32,615 You got the yachts, honey! You got the yachts! 826 01:12:33,199 --> 01:12:35,410 - What? - OCS. 827 01:12:35,660 --> 01:12:37,328 Can you believe it?! 828 01:12:37,579 --> 01:12:42,376 - Honey, you're going to be an officer. - There goes a beautiful friendship. 829 01:12:42,626 --> 01:12:43,544 What did you get? 830 01:12:43,836 --> 01:12:46,130 I don't know. I'm petrified. 831 01:12:46,505 --> 01:12:48,007 Excuse me! 832 01:12:48,382 --> 01:12:50,301 - Where's Benjamin? - Right there. 833 01:12:51,302 --> 01:12:52,304 Thornbirds? 834 01:12:53,263 --> 01:12:54,514 Me? 835 01:12:55,015 --> 01:12:56,683 They don't have women Thornbirds. 836 01:12:56,933 --> 01:12:58,351 They do now. 837 01:13:03,566 --> 01:13:07,361 I was a skinny fighting lad No more than seventeen 838 01:13:07,612 --> 01:13:11,699 The sorriest excuse for a man That you have ever seen 839 01:13:11,949 --> 01:13:15,621 But now I am a Thornbird And as proud as I can be 840 01:13:15,871 --> 01:13:19,917 Colonel Thornbush Made a man out of me 841 01:13:24,839 --> 01:13:28,802 Glory, glory I'll be falling through the sky 842 01:13:29,052 --> 01:13:32,931 Glory, glory I am not afraid to die 843 01:13:33,182 --> 01:13:36,644 Glory, glory I'm as proud as I can be 844 01:13:36,894 --> 01:13:40,981 Colonel Thornbush Made a man out of me 845 01:14:35,417 --> 01:14:37,419 Good morning, sir. 846 01:14:37,669 --> 01:14:39,254 I'd like you to meet my wife. 847 01:14:40,172 --> 01:14:44,009 - Good to meet you, Mrs. Thornbush. - Good to meet you, Miss Lady Thornbird. 848 01:14:44,259 --> 01:14:47,180 - I've heard a lot about you. - Thank you. 849 01:14:47,513 --> 01:14:49,474 I guess this is the Thorndog. 850 01:14:49,807 --> 01:14:51,058 Shake, Scrabble! 851 01:14:53,144 --> 01:14:56,607 You must be nervous about the big jump tomorrow. 852 01:14:56,857 --> 01:14:59,359 The Colonel says I can do it. I guess I can. 853 01:14:59,610 --> 01:15:02,196 The Colonel's motto is, "Life is a series... 854 01:15:02,446 --> 01:15:05,950 ...of challenges to be met and mastered." 855 01:15:06,242 --> 01:15:10,371 I hope you catch a cloud, Benjamin. Not a feeling like it in the world. 856 01:15:10,830 --> 01:15:14,542 You're in a veil of white, not a sound except your beating heart. 857 01:15:15,376 --> 01:15:17,004 It's godlike. 858 01:15:22,259 --> 01:15:25,346 You must be very special. 859 01:15:25,679 --> 01:15:27,808 The "Big T" is a great judge of character. 860 01:15:28,058 --> 01:15:29,935 Stop gabbing and let this soldier... 861 01:15:30,185 --> 01:15:31,186 ...get some chow. 862 01:15:31,436 --> 01:15:32,854 Goodbye, sir. 863 01:15:35,357 --> 01:15:38,486 I really appreciate your confidence in me. 864 01:15:38,736 --> 01:15:40,613 I'm not going to let you down. 865 01:15:41,906 --> 01:15:44,617 See you at 13,000 feet, okay? 866 01:15:52,042 --> 01:15:53,961 Oy vey! 867 01:16:05,849 --> 01:16:07,852 Go with it! Soar! You're a Thornbird! 868 01:16:10,104 --> 01:16:12,398 Come on, Benjamin, let's go! All right? 869 01:16:17,696 --> 01:16:19,823 - You can do it! Trust me! - I can't! 870 01:16:20,991 --> 01:16:23,201 I'm ashamed, but I'm afraid to die. 871 01:16:23,452 --> 01:16:26,746 - I'm afraid, Colonel. I'm not brave. - Take it easy! 872 01:16:26,997 --> 01:16:28,291 I can't. I'm afraid... 873 01:16:28,541 --> 01:16:30,376 ...my chute won't open. 874 01:16:30,626 --> 01:16:33,129 - Calm down, Benjamin! - What if I fall upside down? 875 01:16:33,379 --> 01:16:36,716 - I could vomit in midair! - Take it easy! 876 01:16:36,966 --> 01:16:40,888 I tried to be macho, but those guys are better at being men than I am! 877 01:16:41,180 --> 01:16:43,182 Relax, Benjamin, you don't have to jump! 878 01:16:43,766 --> 01:16:45,434 - I don't? - No! 879 01:16:45,684 --> 01:16:47,853 Take it easy, girl! Shape up! 880 01:16:48,605 --> 01:16:49,939 You better? 881 01:16:50,398 --> 01:16:52,233 I feel better now. 882 01:16:52,484 --> 01:16:55,111 You don't have to jump. 883 01:16:55,487 --> 01:16:57,489 You're a good man. 884 01:16:57,781 --> 01:16:59,408 There are other ways you can serve. 885 01:17:05,915 --> 01:17:06,874 Happy, darling? 886 01:17:07,583 --> 01:17:09,669 - You want it! - What are you doing? 887 01:17:09,920 --> 01:17:12,422 I can smell fear in any man and passion in any woman! 888 01:17:12,672 --> 01:17:13,715 You want it! 889 01:17:15,634 --> 01:17:18,428 My God, this isn't happening to me! 890 01:17:19,597 --> 01:17:20,807 I'm going to take you. 891 01:17:21,140 --> 01:17:23,851 I'm not in the mood. Suddenly I feel nauseous. 892 01:17:24,102 --> 01:17:25,770 Come to papa. 893 01:17:26,521 --> 01:17:29,649 I don't think so, sir, but thanks anyway. 894 01:17:33,487 --> 01:17:35,989 My God! Open, please! 895 01:17:44,666 --> 01:17:45,834 At ease. 896 01:17:48,586 --> 01:17:50,506 I'm glad you're back in one piece. 897 01:17:52,049 --> 01:17:56,470 I apologize for yesterday's indiscretion. An unforgivable breach of discipline. 898 01:17:57,179 --> 01:17:58,764 And taste, sir. 899 01:18:01,810 --> 01:18:04,187 I hope it hasn't soured you on the military. 900 01:18:04,563 --> 01:18:07,315 The question is how long you'll continue as a Thornbird. 901 01:18:07,566 --> 01:18:09,526 Hopefully not too long, sir. 902 01:18:11,654 --> 01:18:12,864 Understood. 903 01:18:13,114 --> 01:18:16,993 That's why I've put you on special assignment, transferred to another post. 904 01:18:18,161 --> 01:18:20,455 A special assignment on the ground, I hope. 905 01:18:21,331 --> 01:18:23,292 - A job in procurement. - Procurement? 906 01:18:23,542 --> 01:18:26,628 That's purchasing. I've cut your orders, you leave at 1500. 907 01:18:28,755 --> 01:18:29,882 Greenland? 908 01:18:30,132 --> 01:18:32,093 What, penguins? Forget it! 909 01:18:32,844 --> 01:18:33,970 Forget it! 910 01:18:35,138 --> 01:18:38,183 I was in the first wave of the Rangers at Normandy on D-day. 911 01:18:38,433 --> 01:18:42,938 In 1952 I was standing with my troops on the banks of the Yalu River, waiting. 912 01:18:43,189 --> 01:18:45,483 MacArthur phoned. "Come home, Thornie... 913 01:18:45,816 --> 01:18:48,110 ...it's not our year." I am a good leader. 914 01:18:48,360 --> 01:18:50,362 No, I am a great leader! 915 01:18:50,821 --> 01:18:53,200 Your ass is going to Greenland for a reason. 916 01:18:53,450 --> 01:18:58,163 I won't let you shoot your mouth off, blemishing my record with innuendo. 917 01:18:58,497 --> 01:19:00,248 Innuendo? Try rape. 918 01:19:03,252 --> 01:19:04,128 How about Guam? 919 01:19:05,171 --> 01:19:06,631 My hair will frizz. 920 01:19:07,965 --> 01:19:08,841 Okinawa? 921 01:19:09,258 --> 01:19:12,303 Malaria? Pass. 922 01:19:12,971 --> 01:19:15,349 We have bases all over the world. 923 01:19:46,466 --> 01:19:49,177 Dear Glass, hello from Belgium. 924 01:19:49,427 --> 01:19:53,140 Sorry it's taken me so long to write, but I've been very busy. 925 01:19:53,390 --> 01:19:55,226 S.H.A.P.E. Is an amazing place. 926 01:19:55,518 --> 01:19:58,354 The top military headquarters in Europe. 927 01:19:58,604 --> 01:20:01,649 Definitely the most exciting duty a soldier could pull. 928 01:20:01,899 --> 01:20:04,278 My M. O. S. Is Purchasing Specialist... 929 01:20:04,528 --> 01:20:07,364 ...the one job I've trained for all my life. 930 01:20:08,198 --> 01:20:09,950 My superior is a terrific guy... 931 01:20:10,742 --> 01:20:13,537 ...a Turkish officer named Lieutenant Rahmi. 932 01:20:13,787 --> 01:20:17,917 But the best one can say of his English is that it's better than my Turkish. 933 01:20:18,877 --> 01:20:20,503 Benyameen, ka'. 934 01:20:21,838 --> 01:20:22,964 Sate. 935 01:20:24,424 --> 01:20:28,471 Benyameen, I need the inpoormation on the drying caruses. 936 01:20:28,888 --> 01:20:29,889 Driving courses? 937 01:20:30,139 --> 01:20:32,349 Yes, sir. I'm working on that now. 938 01:20:32,600 --> 01:20:36,521 Excellent. I want you to rye-eed it to the counsule. 939 01:20:37,355 --> 01:20:39,274 Me? Read it to the council? 940 01:20:39,733 --> 01:20:41,777 Do want me to rye-eed it? 941 01:20:45,573 --> 01:20:47,617 Private Benyameen... Benjamin! 942 01:20:47,867 --> 01:20:51,037 I got a charming apartment through an ad in Stars and Stripes. 943 01:20:51,287 --> 01:20:54,749 It's right over a bakery, has a hot plate, running water... 944 01:20:54,999 --> 01:20:56,960 ...and all the croissants I can eat. 945 01:20:57,211 --> 01:20:59,963 It's not exactly Versailles, but it's home. 946 01:21:00,214 --> 01:21:04,343 For the first time in months, I feel that things are really going my way. 947 01:21:19,944 --> 01:21:22,780 I finally got the nerve to pay Henri a surprise visit. 948 01:21:23,030 --> 01:21:26,910 I'll let you know how it turns out. I hope he remembers me. 949 01:21:27,160 --> 01:21:31,540 My love to Moe and Gianelli. Votre amie, Private B. 950 01:21:32,165 --> 01:21:35,335 Let's see... just got into town. 951 01:21:36,921 --> 01:21:40,800 And feeling kind of lonely. No, don't say lonely. 952 01:21:41,050 --> 01:21:42,260 Oh, God! 953 01:22:08,706 --> 01:22:12,501 It's a great house, but don't be impressed. It's a hand-me-down. 954 01:22:31,647 --> 01:22:33,274 - Morning. - Nine o'clock? 955 01:22:33,524 --> 01:22:36,319 I haven't slept this late in 3 months. 956 01:22:41,867 --> 01:22:44,119 - Where are you going? - Sunday soccer. 957 01:22:45,412 --> 01:22:46,789 Merde! I'm late. 958 01:22:47,080 --> 01:22:48,958 I have to go anyway. 959 01:22:49,250 --> 01:22:50,960 Don't be ridiculous, please! 960 01:22:51,211 --> 01:22:54,547 Stay. I want you to be here when I get back at three o'clock. 961 01:22:54,798 --> 01:22:59,261 I'm going to make love to you, and I'll take you to my favorite bistro. 962 01:23:00,054 --> 01:23:02,723 And we'll listen to some nice Italian jazz. 963 01:23:04,099 --> 01:23:05,017 Max! 964 01:23:15,445 --> 01:23:17,531 Hello, baby! 965 01:23:19,867 --> 01:23:21,536 He's beautiful. 966 01:23:21,786 --> 01:23:22,829 Sit! 967 01:23:27,792 --> 01:23:29,502 The dog is deaf. 968 01:23:36,093 --> 01:23:38,387 Wait for me, please. 969 01:23:43,434 --> 01:23:45,478 I could get used to you. 970 01:24:08,170 --> 01:24:11,047 I paid 8,000 francs for this rug. 971 01:24:12,091 --> 01:24:16,471 I'm sorry. He gets nervous around new people. 972 01:24:16,721 --> 01:24:18,556 He's not the only one. 973 01:24:22,978 --> 01:24:26,064 - I have to clean this up. - You go play. I'll clean up. 974 01:24:26,315 --> 01:24:28,817 No, I'll clean it. Go play. 975 01:24:40,955 --> 01:24:42,249 I adore you. 976 01:24:49,757 --> 01:24:54,513 There are two bids we recommend: Sergio Devoto's Driving Academy... 977 01:24:54,846 --> 01:24:57,557 ...which teaches evasive driving to the chauffeurs... 978 01:24:57,808 --> 01:25:01,144 ...of such dignitaries as General Alexander Haig... 979 01:25:01,394 --> 01:25:05,107 ...President Giscard d'Estaing, Mick Jagger... 980 01:25:05,399 --> 01:25:07,735 Excuse me, Private Benjamin... 981 01:25:07,985 --> 01:25:11,113 ...I'm afraid I missed the security data on these drivers. 982 01:25:11,364 --> 01:25:13,951 The security data was unavailable to me, sir. 983 01:25:14,618 --> 01:25:17,079 Who's here from security? 984 01:25:18,914 --> 01:25:19,790 I am, sir. 985 01:25:23,586 --> 01:25:26,256 That material is highly classified, sir. 986 01:25:26,506 --> 01:25:29,968 I am certain this soldier is not cleared for that level. 987 01:25:30,218 --> 01:25:32,303 Then clear her, Captain. 988 01:25:33,973 --> 01:25:34,932 Is there a problem? 989 01:25:38,102 --> 01:25:39,019 No, sir. 990 01:25:39,270 --> 01:25:42,439 Then we'll expect a revised report by the next council session. 991 01:25:42,690 --> 01:25:43,732 Gentlemen... 992 01:25:44,067 --> 01:25:45,110 ...chow time. 993 01:25:49,573 --> 01:25:50,615 Good job. 994 01:26:10,471 --> 01:26:12,264 Behave yourself, Judy Benjamin... 995 01:26:12,514 --> 01:26:17,187 ...or I'll drum your ass out of S.H.A.P.E. So fast it'll make your head spin. 996 01:26:24,694 --> 01:26:26,322 Sorry, Helga. 997 01:26:26,614 --> 01:26:28,532 Who is your friend, Doreen? 998 01:26:28,782 --> 01:26:31,118 She's no fwiend... friend. 999 01:26:31,911 --> 01:26:34,121 Listen, the bags are packed. 1000 01:26:39,419 --> 01:26:41,546 My ex-girlfriend, Claire, painted it. 1001 01:26:41,796 --> 01:26:45,592 - What's it supposed to be, death? - No, it's a self-portrait. 1002 01:26:46,469 --> 01:26:48,554 How long ago did you and this... 1003 01:26:49,430 --> 01:26:51,224 ...painter break up? 1004 01:26:52,016 --> 01:26:56,271 - 14 weeks ago, Monday. - You're still counting it in weeks? 1005 01:26:58,106 --> 01:27:02,027 How come you broke up? Or is that too personal? 1006 01:27:03,737 --> 01:27:05,364 Claire is a brilliant woman. 1007 01:27:05,614 --> 01:27:09,953 I even joined the Communist Party for her for a week. 1008 01:27:10,620 --> 01:27:14,415 Not romantic though, much too independent. 1009 01:27:18,254 --> 01:27:20,464 Do you know a lot of tortured artists? 1010 01:27:21,048 --> 01:27:23,342 Only tortured lawyers. 1011 01:27:24,760 --> 01:27:27,097 Your first husband was a lawyer? 1012 01:27:27,347 --> 01:27:30,767 No, Rick was a tennis pro at the El San Juan. 1013 01:27:31,268 --> 01:27:35,105 My therapist said that I had a neurotic need to find a father figure. 1014 01:27:35,355 --> 01:27:39,277 And he had a neurotic need to find a father-in-law who had a lot of money. 1015 01:27:48,912 --> 01:27:53,792 You know, I've been married to men I haven't felt this comfortable with. 1016 01:29:07,498 --> 01:29:11,044 What's the story with you and this Tremont character? 1017 01:29:11,920 --> 01:29:13,713 Why are you spying on me? 1018 01:29:26,978 --> 01:29:30,732 - Your lover-boy's a Red! - Don't be ridiculous! 1019 01:29:30,983 --> 01:29:33,944 He was a Red for about five seconds. 1020 01:29:34,194 --> 01:29:36,071 Because of a woman he used to date. 1021 01:29:36,530 --> 01:29:40,576 Nobody stops being a Communist. It's a terminal disease. 1022 01:29:40,827 --> 01:29:44,622 And I am not going to sit around with my thumb up my ass... 1023 01:29:44,873 --> 01:29:47,375 ...while you divulge classified information... 1024 01:29:47,625 --> 01:29:49,878 ...during the throes of passion. 1025 01:29:50,128 --> 01:29:53,382 Please! I can barely speak during the throes of passion. 1026 01:29:53,799 --> 01:29:57,136 Believe me, Henri Tremont is as much a Communist as me. 1027 01:29:57,511 --> 01:29:58,637 Or you! 1028 01:30:00,222 --> 01:30:03,518 If Patton were alive, he would slap your face. 1029 01:30:06,897 --> 01:30:08,148 As you were. 1030 01:30:12,737 --> 01:30:14,113 Captain Lewis. 1031 01:30:16,240 --> 01:30:19,911 Private Benjamin has made herself vulnerable to a Red, sir. 1032 01:30:20,161 --> 01:30:21,370 I read the report. 1033 01:30:21,621 --> 01:30:22,623 It's not true, sir. 1034 01:30:22,873 --> 01:30:27,336 We're not blind to the fact that half of Europe is Communistic. 1035 01:30:28,504 --> 01:30:30,839 But here at S.H.A.P.E. They're still the enemy. 1036 01:30:31,548 --> 01:30:33,176 General Foley, Henri Tremont... 1037 01:30:33,426 --> 01:30:36,846 ...is not a Communist. He's a gynecologist. 1038 01:30:37,889 --> 01:30:40,225 Captain Lewis is hung up on a technicality. 1039 01:30:40,558 --> 01:30:44,855 I'm sorry, but it's against regulations for you to associate with this man. 1040 01:30:45,856 --> 01:30:48,234 You're up for a promotion. 1041 01:30:48,484 --> 01:30:51,779 I'd hate to see this incident jeopardize your career. 1042 01:30:52,989 --> 01:30:55,033 What are you trying to tell me, sir? 1043 01:30:56,660 --> 01:30:58,370 It's either him... 1044 01:30:58,662 --> 01:30:59,704 ...or us. 1045 01:31:25,024 --> 01:31:27,151 - Can't you hear? - Can't you move? 1046 01:31:33,658 --> 01:31:35,119 It's Judy. 1047 01:31:35,369 --> 01:31:36,370 Judy who? 1048 01:31:37,246 --> 01:31:39,582 Darling, how are you? 1049 01:31:40,916 --> 01:31:41,792 What? 1050 01:31:48,341 --> 01:31:49,968 She's getting married. 1051 01:32:06,153 --> 01:32:09,448 Monsieur Shiffman! Thank God! 1052 01:32:14,912 --> 01:32:17,498 Listen, the tablecloths... 1053 01:32:21,878 --> 01:32:25,925 ...they're terrible. The color, la couleur, is all wrong. 1054 01:32:29,345 --> 01:32:32,556 The wedding is in yellow... 1055 01:32:33,140 --> 01:32:35,434 ...and butterscotch. 1056 01:32:36,561 --> 01:32:39,523 And right now I'm looking at something entre... 1057 01:32:39,773 --> 01:32:42,484 ...canari et banane. 1058 01:32:42,901 --> 01:32:43,818 Gabby! 1059 01:32:46,239 --> 01:32:47,448 Pardon, Madame! 1060 01:32:48,533 --> 01:32:51,077 I get the Hoover. 1061 01:32:56,249 --> 01:32:58,961 Was she a good maid before she met me? 1062 01:33:01,004 --> 01:33:04,049 Is it smart to fire the maid just before the wedding? 1063 01:33:04,508 --> 01:33:06,636 Especially with your parents coming. 1064 01:33:07,011 --> 01:33:10,515 Okay, she stays until after the wedding. 1065 01:33:12,892 --> 01:33:14,936 You look very beautiful today. 1066 01:33:16,020 --> 01:33:17,398 So do you. 1067 01:33:18,148 --> 01:33:20,401 What did your friends say when they called? 1068 01:33:20,651 --> 01:33:23,487 They're coming over on Army Transport next week. 1069 01:33:23,737 --> 01:33:26,657 I can't wait to see them. It's going to be so much fun. 1070 01:33:26,907 --> 01:33:29,286 And Glass is learning French! 1071 01:33:38,546 --> 01:33:40,464 Honey, who was that? 1072 01:33:42,133 --> 01:33:44,051 It was Claire. 1073 01:33:47,763 --> 01:33:49,057 Claire? 1074 01:34:01,738 --> 01:34:03,865 Get over this obsession with Claire. 1075 01:34:04,199 --> 01:34:06,326 You stood with your tongue hanging out. 1076 01:34:06,659 --> 01:34:08,454 I was surprised to see her. 1077 01:34:08,704 --> 01:34:11,916 Surprised? I'd call it catatonic. 1078 01:34:12,166 --> 01:34:15,920 You don't see me getting hung up on your old boyfriends and husbands. 1079 01:34:16,170 --> 01:34:17,588 Do you? 1080 01:34:19,424 --> 01:34:20,884 Listen to me. 1081 01:34:21,176 --> 01:34:22,260 Come here. 1082 01:34:24,554 --> 01:34:25,472 I love you. 1083 01:34:26,097 --> 01:34:28,183 We're getting married in a week. 1084 01:34:35,983 --> 01:34:37,652 I want to have a baby with you. 1085 01:34:40,405 --> 01:34:41,532 You do? 1086 01:34:43,242 --> 01:34:44,993 Oh, honey! 1087 01:34:46,245 --> 01:34:47,871 I'd love to have a baby. 1088 01:34:49,373 --> 01:34:51,084 I thought I was getting too old. 1089 01:34:55,255 --> 01:34:56,965 A baby! 1090 01:35:00,386 --> 01:35:03,389 - I want us to be together always. - We will! 1091 01:35:09,937 --> 01:35:11,982 It's the reality of things sometimes... 1092 01:35:12,232 --> 01:35:16,111 ...they don't always work out exactly as they are planned, so... 1093 01:35:17,404 --> 01:35:18,989 What are you saying? 1094 01:35:21,909 --> 01:35:24,078 - I want you to sign this. - What is it? 1095 01:35:24,328 --> 01:35:26,289 Contrat de mariage. 1096 01:35:27,290 --> 01:35:30,042 A letter of financial agreement. 1097 01:35:30,710 --> 01:35:35,173 God forbid something should happen to us. It just helps us stay friends. 1098 01:35:36,925 --> 01:35:39,386 I want to be your wife, not your friend. 1099 01:35:39,678 --> 01:35:43,641 It's fair. I allocated for myself what was mine before our marriage. 1100 01:35:44,225 --> 01:35:46,394 You cannot expect me to give you... 1101 01:35:46,644 --> 01:35:50,648 ...half of a house that's been in my family for centuries. 1102 01:35:54,528 --> 01:35:57,948 We don't need this kind of thing between us. We'll make it. 1103 01:35:58,908 --> 01:36:00,868 I can't get married without it. 1104 01:36:10,921 --> 01:36:12,840 It's in French. 1105 01:36:13,090 --> 01:36:14,550 Please. 1106 01:36:33,196 --> 01:36:35,365 Private Benjamin? 1107 01:36:35,615 --> 01:36:38,076 Did I write that? I'm sorry. 1108 01:36:38,326 --> 01:36:39,994 I'll just cross it out. 1109 01:36:45,251 --> 01:36:46,961 Initial it. 1110 01:37:01,268 --> 01:37:03,729 Where shall we go tonight? Regine's? 1111 01:37:19,079 --> 01:37:22,708 Took Henri's car to the shop. Made Henri's hair appointment. 1112 01:37:22,958 --> 01:37:24,836 Took Max to the vet. 1113 01:37:25,086 --> 01:37:27,547 Picked up Henri's soccer uniform. 1114 01:37:34,346 --> 01:37:37,725 You've got to remember that I used to be a very active person. 1115 01:37:37,975 --> 01:37:40,227 I was jumping out of airplanes... 1116 01:37:40,477 --> 01:37:43,564 ...and at S.H.A.P.E. It was like nonstop chaos. 1117 01:37:43,814 --> 01:37:46,192 You're not thinking about opening a store? 1118 01:37:46,443 --> 01:37:48,361 No, you were right about that. 1119 01:37:48,612 --> 01:37:52,157 It would've been too much of a hassle to do. It was a bad idea. 1120 01:37:52,407 --> 01:37:56,120 But there have to be other choices. 1121 01:37:56,370 --> 01:37:58,789 Do you know what I did today? 1122 01:37:59,999 --> 01:38:02,084 I rearranged my closet. 1123 01:38:02,335 --> 01:38:03,753 For three hours. 1124 01:38:04,003 --> 01:38:07,299 There's definitely something wrong with that, isn't there? 1125 01:38:09,343 --> 01:38:11,803 - Am I making sense? - No. 1126 01:38:12,721 --> 01:38:14,556 And that's what I love about you. 1127 01:38:17,894 --> 01:38:20,355 This is the color of hair I was talking about. 1128 01:38:22,023 --> 01:38:24,108 I don't know. Maybe. 1129 01:38:26,153 --> 01:38:27,529 I love it. 1130 01:38:55,351 --> 01:38:57,479 Rita Hayworth, I swear to God! 1131 01:38:57,729 --> 01:39:00,774 - I wouldn't have recognized you. - You look stunning! 1132 01:39:01,024 --> 01:39:04,444 Turn around, let me see the outfit. Oh God, doll! Gorgeous! 1133 01:39:04,695 --> 01:39:06,196 It's an absolute vision. 1134 01:39:06,446 --> 01:39:08,575 Her hair is the worst! 1135 01:39:08,825 --> 01:39:13,037 To see you looking like your old self again, you have no idea! 1136 01:39:13,288 --> 01:39:15,164 Who knows what we'd do in her place. 1137 01:39:16,291 --> 01:39:19,169 The important thing is, Judy's Judy again. 1138 01:39:19,420 --> 01:39:24,008 - Truthfully, you don't miss the Army? - What's to miss? $400 a month? 1139 01:39:24,258 --> 01:39:27,261 The only good thing about it was that what's-her-name. 1140 01:39:27,511 --> 01:39:28,889 Captain Lewis? 1141 01:39:29,472 --> 01:39:32,767 I hope her coat's good enough. I had no idea it'd be so chilly. 1142 01:39:33,018 --> 01:39:37,857 - It's November here, Kissy. - It's November everywhere, genius! 1143 01:39:46,741 --> 01:39:47,950 Sit! 1144 01:39:49,578 --> 01:39:51,830 I was talking to Max. 1145 01:39:54,333 --> 01:39:56,418 It's good to see you up. 1146 01:39:57,711 --> 01:39:59,923 Excuse me for interrupting. 1147 01:40:01,007 --> 01:40:02,675 Does this belong to anyone? 1148 01:40:02,926 --> 01:40:05,678 Because I'm positive it isn't mine. 1149 01:40:05,929 --> 01:40:07,764 Oui, Madame. Where did you find it? 1150 01:40:08,014 --> 01:40:09,600 Where you left eet! 1151 01:40:09,934 --> 01:40:12,770 May I ask what you were doing in my bed?! 1152 01:40:13,020 --> 01:40:15,731 I was not in your bed, madame. I make your bed. 1153 01:40:17,316 --> 01:40:18,859 It must have fallen. 1154 01:40:19,986 --> 01:40:20,946 What are you doing? 1155 01:40:21,196 --> 01:40:24,115 I would like to know how this item got into my bed. 1156 01:40:28,578 --> 01:40:32,250 This is too much! Judy, give Gabrielle back the cross. 1157 01:40:39,382 --> 01:40:41,885 What should I think? She's the world's worst maid! 1158 01:40:42,135 --> 01:40:43,804 Enough! Please! 1159 01:40:47,516 --> 01:40:51,938 What's gotten into you lately? It's like I live with the kid from the Exorcist! 1160 01:40:53,147 --> 01:40:55,608 Two weeks ago I was like a god to you! 1161 01:40:55,900 --> 01:40:57,527 Now you show me no respect. 1162 01:40:58,236 --> 01:40:59,779 I respect you. 1163 01:41:00,113 --> 01:41:04,618 Accusing me of sleeping with Gabrielle! You think I'm so low I'd seduce a child? 1164 01:41:07,454 --> 01:41:08,414 Do you? 1165 01:41:13,670 --> 01:41:15,922 Honey, I'm nervous. 1166 01:41:16,673 --> 01:41:18,842 I'm very nervous. 1167 01:41:19,092 --> 01:41:23,347 And I know that once we get married everything is going to be fine. 1168 01:41:23,598 --> 01:41:25,266 I'm sorry. 1169 01:41:34,568 --> 01:41:38,322 I fly 6,000 miles to attend my daughter's wedding... 1170 01:41:38,572 --> 01:41:40,449 ...and the groom is playing soccer! 1171 01:41:40,699 --> 01:41:43,953 Daddy, he'll be here any minute. He probably went into overtime. 1172 01:41:44,287 --> 01:41:46,539 Monsieur, my son is very reliable. 1173 01:41:46,789 --> 01:41:49,667 - He will be here shortly. - It just isn't right! 1174 01:41:54,924 --> 01:41:56,467 Jean-Paul! 1175 01:42:01,430 --> 01:42:02,891 Where is Henri? 1176 01:42:03,558 --> 01:42:06,519 The bum never showed up for the game. Isn't he here? 1177 01:42:07,687 --> 01:42:08,813 No. 1178 01:42:09,147 --> 01:42:10,232 He never showed up? 1179 01:42:13,694 --> 01:42:17,073 Judy, don't hate me for saying this or nothing... 1180 01:42:17,323 --> 01:42:21,661 ...but you really might be better-off. 1181 01:42:21,911 --> 01:42:23,830 Don't be ridiculous! 1182 01:42:25,582 --> 01:42:30,254 I don't know how to say this, but you were starting to act a bit weird again. 1183 01:42:30,504 --> 01:42:32,673 What am I going to do? I'm a wreck. 1184 01:42:33,424 --> 01:42:34,801 He's back! 1185 01:42:39,681 --> 01:42:41,266 You look perfect. 1186 01:42:41,516 --> 01:42:43,142 - Where were you? - I'm fine. 1187 01:42:43,394 --> 01:42:46,188 No, where were you? I was so scared. 1188 01:42:46,438 --> 01:42:49,775 - You don't want to know this. - I do want to know. 1189 01:42:52,403 --> 01:42:54,281 I had to see Claire. 1190 01:42:57,033 --> 01:42:58,034 You were with Claire? 1191 01:42:58,285 --> 01:43:02,038 She is in so much trouble. You've no idea what I've been through. 1192 01:43:02,289 --> 01:43:06,210 There are 75 people waiting for you. Couldn't you have phoned? 1193 01:43:06,460 --> 01:43:10,089 - Don't bad French artists have phones? - She was overwrought. 1194 01:43:10,423 --> 01:43:14,469 Her boyfriend beat her up. I prescribed a sedative for her to sleep. 1195 01:43:14,720 --> 01:43:17,264 That takes 2 minutes, you were gone 4 hours. 1196 01:43:17,514 --> 01:43:20,142 The place was a mess. I hung up clothes and did dishes. 1197 01:43:20,392 --> 01:43:22,603 You did Claire's dishes? 1198 01:43:24,480 --> 01:43:27,275 Shall I stop being nice to people because we're marrying? 1199 01:43:27,817 --> 01:43:31,112 I just don't understand how you could be with Claire... 1200 01:43:31,571 --> 01:43:32,447 ...today. 1201 01:43:32,697 --> 01:43:35,284 You want to walk down the aisle with me or not? 1202 01:45:13,600 --> 01:45:16,019 Not so fast. 1203 01:45:18,314 --> 01:45:22,234 I know this is a very awkward time to do this... 1204 01:45:23,444 --> 01:45:24,778 ...but I want to break up. 1205 01:45:25,070 --> 01:45:26,822 She's crazy again. 1206 01:45:27,573 --> 01:45:28,783 Listen to me. 1207 01:45:29,075 --> 01:45:33,788 You're having an anxiety attack. I'll give you a shot to calm down. 1208 01:45:34,039 --> 01:45:37,167 No, I want to be perfectly conscious when I call a cab. 1209 01:45:37,417 --> 01:45:40,963 What are you doing to me? What is this about? Gabrielle? 1210 01:45:41,672 --> 01:45:44,383 I slept with her one night when you were acting crazy. 1211 01:45:45,718 --> 01:45:48,179 We'll fire her after the wedding. 1212 01:45:51,725 --> 01:45:53,143 You're such a schmuck! 1213 01:45:55,520 --> 01:45:56,396 Daddy... 1214 01:45:56,647 --> 01:45:58,900 ...Mom just fainted. 1215 01:46:00,318 --> 01:46:01,694 Schmuck?! 1216 01:46:02,820 --> 01:46:05,281 When I met you, you were in the Army. 1217 01:46:05,657 --> 01:46:08,076 You were nothing, picking up strangers in bars! 1218 01:46:08,326 --> 01:46:10,496 - Now just a minute! - She was. 1219 01:46:10,996 --> 01:46:14,625 I'll give you a future, a home, a name. For once don't be stupid! 1220 01:46:16,001 --> 01:46:17,419 - There's Claire. - Where? 1221 01:46:24,511 --> 01:46:25,595 Don't call me stupid. 1222 01:46:26,305 --> 01:46:32,702 Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/46cpq Help other users to choose the best subtitles90785