Original subtitles

Forget the protein powder, you need mental help.

It's not my fault. Freddy was playing FIFA with women.

Who won?

Shut up!

You're in a tough spot with Freddy now.

What did Karan say?

I haven't told him yet.

Wow! And you're going to Goa for a workshop.

For a film you probably won't have tomorrow.

Very good.

I accept the stories of every passerby

- Where is this mess going? - Away from you.

Dharma isn't paying for your flight ticket.

I'm not a beggar. You worry about yourself.

- "Dharma won't pay for your…" - What will we do if this news gets out?

Freddy cares more about his image than he does about you. It won't get out.

Bro…

I hope you won't have to face the same plight as Jaraj Saxena--

Don't say that, man.

You know what? I won't go to Goa. Let's cancel it.

Excellent idea.

KJo will also turn into your enemy and we'll get together and beat him up.

She's being sarcastic. Don't cancel it. Let's go!

Hey, subtitle, are you done? Let's go now. We have a flight to catch.

You know what? Catch mine.

I would've, if you had one.

Go on.

Are you guys ready?

In my new film,

Karishma Talvar and Aasmaan Singh

will be paired opposite each other.

In Barbaad Mohabbat.

I'm not making just a love story, there's gonna be some serious action too.

In fact, breaking news,

this will be Dharma Productions' very first adult film.

The violence will be very violent,

and the romance, well, let's just say, won't be for kids.

They look so hot together, sir. Total power couple vibes.

Done.

Fucking number one

I'm ready for a fight

I bow down to none

A mighty storm, yes, that's me

A wilful fire, I'm fiery

I'm a heat-seeking missile

There's no one else like me

They say kick this attitude

But old habits die hard

Listen up, shining stars

To what I have to say

In this big bad world

I'll be fucking number one!

Yeah, I'll be fucking number one!

You know I'm fucking number one!

Goa!

Bar!

- Welcome, sir. - Thank you.

- Thank you. - You don't have to do this.

Come on…

Karishma, what's up?

What's up?

- Hey! - This is Parvaiz, my buddy.

- Hello. - Hi.

What it is in this?

Black alkaline water.

How's the weather up there?

Shut up, dude.

Hey, did you meet the intimacy coach?

I've been looking for him forever. I can't find him.

- I'll just call Karan. - Yeah.

Sweety.

Hi, Karishma. How are you?

Yes!

Thanks for taking my call, Karan. This is Jaraj Saxena.

What the fuck have you done with Karishma? I'll call the police!

No, please don't call the cops! This is just a spoofing device.

I can call from any phone number. I can be anyone!

And, bro, you had blocked my number,

so I thought I'll just surprise you.

Fuck, man! How many times do I have to block this fucker's number?

Karan? Hello!

Motherfucker! You cunt! I'll fuck you!

Karan?

Fuck! Fuck. Sorry.

Karishma, hi. It is you. Hi!

- Sorry, I thought it was somebody else. - Who?

Never mind.

Okay, Karan, anyway, we're at the hotel and we can't find the coach.

Oh, man, I forgot. Sorry, sorry.

No, the intimacy coach cancelled.

He's going through a divorce.

What? So should we come back?

No, I've got it sorted.

I found a substitute. You'll find him at the shack.

Okay, Karan. Thanks.

One sec. Karishma, is Aasmaan there?

Aasmaan, Karan.

Karan sir.

- Hi, sir. - Hi, Aasmaan.

I heard you've signed a three-film deal with Freddy.

Is it exclusive?

No, sir. I already spoke with him.

It's all sorted now.

You sure?

Yes, sir, I'm sure.

Not sure.

Thank you for switching off that song. My ears were fucking bleeding.

Gotta take care of these bad boys, man.

Even my grandma doesn't listen to such ancient songs.

Uncle!

Uncle, please buy some colouring books.

- Please buy one. - I don't want any.

I haven't eaten anything all day, Uncle. I'm starving. Please buy one.

I said I don't want any. Get lost now!

Beat it! Go!

Uncle! Please buy these colouring books, Uncle.

Please, I beg you.

I hate colouring!

Asshole!

My life's a mess.

I'm gonna kick your ass--

Having a bad day, right?

What are you trying to sell?

I don't sell, I get sold.

What?

I don't know.

Avtar, right?

How do you know my name?

At the success party the other day. Aasmaan's uncle, right?

Were you there?

I was, and yet I wasn't.

I should've have bought the colouring books instead!

He left?

Intimacy coach, my foot. I'll teach you how to romance a girl.

What? Ask any girl in Byculla.

How many panties girls throw at me.

Right, Sukhi? Those who can't get any action, start coaching.

He's getting enough, bro.

You're late.

But you're right.

Those who can't get any action…

start coaching.

Here I am.

I left my family vacation early because Karan asked me to.

Only for you guys.

So let's get started, huh?

Really appreciate it, sir.

You better, Miss Talvar.

- Sir, Aasmaan. - Yeah, we'll get to that later.

Anyway!

Who is he?

He's a friend of mine, sir. Parvaiz.

Okay.

All right!

Whether you say it or not

These eyes are saying

Love, O my love

O my love

Okay. Right.

They're my support in the journey of love

You are the shore of loyalty

Thank you for that. So now let's--

I always miss you, my love

And my eyes call out to you

And even if the whole world is around me

I will still be in need of you

You're the reason for me to live

Okay, enough now.

- That's enough. - Stop. Stop it. He heard it.

You're the shore…

Anyone else wanna sing?

- No, sir. - You wanna sing?

- Are you a singer, boy? - No, sir.

Okay, let's get serious now.

Listen carefully.

I'm here to teach you intimacy.

It may look easy on-screen, but it's a tough job.

And for that, I'm gonna give you some exercises.

The first one is,

mirroring.

Mirror, mirror on the wall, I'm fucking handsome, fair and tall.

Because what matters

is the point of view.

Worry about yourself. Stop being a pain in my ass.

And who the hell are you?

Excuse me.

Can we get a picture?

Fans.

Come on, girls, smile!

Uncle, why are you in the picture? Take of us.

"Fans!"

Just joking.

- Thanks. - Welcome.

Weirdo.

Doesn't he look familiar though?

It's okay, it's all in my head

Do you wanna know

What's really on my mind?

You've no idea

What my intentions were

The world disliked me

And I disliked the world

Hey, you've no idea

What my intentions were

- Yo! - What's happening, man?

Hey, fatty! What's your problem?

Problem?

- Where did you get this song from? - YouTube.

Have you heard of that?

To hell with YouTube! This is my song!

You're DJ Adam?

Balls! No chance it's this old man's song.

DJ Adams, you bastard!

Chillax, uncle. Don't shout.

You may have a heart attack.

Back off, dinosaur!

Don't you dare touch me, fucker!

What? You wanna fight me, gramps?

So he wants to fight.

Yo, come on, Monty.

Show him how it's done. Wipe the floor with him.

- Monty! - Someone is going to die. Bye!

Mon--

Who are you?

Who am I?

Recognise me now?

The one and only, Jaraj Saxena.

Wanna play basketball?

I don't know about you, but I'm not down for this.

- Beat it! - Get lost!

Monty, you asshole!

What was that?

You see, Avtar ji,

to survive in Bollywood, one needs to train everyday.

Fifteen years. Never skipped a day.

Who knows when my fate takes a turn.

Aren't you tired of losing for 15 years?

No, Avtar ji,

because you can't lose when you never give up.

Right?

Right.

Where is he?

Where are you hiding him?

Calm down, Avtar ji.

So you're his partner in crime. Be honest. Isn't that the truth?

I knew it.

You even look like a fraudster.

What are you showing me this paper for?

I'm gonna teach you a lesson!

It's a cheque. It's your share.

My share?

The pen drive you threw away, I gave it to Adam.

He remixed your song and uploaded it on YouTube.

It's trending at number one in India.

With your name. Look.

My song.

I think the two of you should collaborate.

Adam!

You can come out now.

No!

I don't want to!

Adam.

I refuse to work with this man. I just did this for you as a favour.

Hey, I don't need your favours. I don't want to work with you either.

Dude, who are you? You're old. You're irrelevant.

- I'm not old! - No one cares about you.

Guys!

Did you not say this was the best music you've ever worked on?

And didn't you want a chance?

This is it.

Your classical knowledge and his modern beats,

it's a great combination, guys.

Come, shake hands.

Adam, he's older.

That's enough. Don't take any more clothes off.

What is this? Shake hands properly.

What's going on there?

Emraan sir is training them.

Who? Hashmi?

Yes, sir.

What kind of training?

Just feel it.

Just feel each other.

Feel the moment.

Let's try this.

Okay, let's go.

You have to mirror the action your partner is doing.

But you have to feel each other for it.

No, no! No, guys!

I mean, it's not rocket science.

You have to be in sync.

You have to follow each other's action. Copy it. You have to mirror each other!

There's a curtain here. How can we--

No, no. No excuses.

She's here thanks to nepotism.

How did you make it this far?

You know what? I don't wanna hear it.

You guys are a waste of my time!

Let's meet tomorrow at 6:00 a.m.

And not a minute late.

- Out. Out! - Out.

Hey, listen!

- Come here. - Sir, me?

You're my fan, right? Can you do something for me?

Cut it out!

- Shut up. Enough. - Yes, sir.

Okay, listen.

Shall we take a shortcut?

But what about him?

What are you doing?

Aasmaan, pass, pass!

Left, left. Right, right!

- You're doing the dance step? - 'Cause you did it yesterday.

But I was gonna copy you!

It's okay. Next time.

Is this a fucking joke?

Huh?

You've been doing the same thing for so many days,

and you're still not getting it!

Fucking idiots!

Sir, we're just tired.

Because your servants are not here to do everything for you.

It's not easy when you've to do everything yourself.

You're Ajay Talvar's daughter at home.

Not here.

Sir, actually, it's my fault.

I see.

But both of you will pay for it.

How is this fair?

He locked us out.

Are we schoolkids?

What the fuck is wrong with him?

How does this even help?

You should tell your dad about him.

Oh, God.

What happened?

- Nothing. It's fine. - Come on, let me take a look.

Hey, let it…

You're really hurt.

This is the only bottle we have. Save it.

It will go septic.

You'll have to get your leg amputated, and end up making a one-legged debut.

It'll hurt a bit. Brace for it.

There, there.

Okay, that's it. That's it.

Man…

If this movie flops even after all this hardship…

What will you do then?

You know, six of my dad's movies flopped back to back,

and no one could do anything.

It was a terrible time.

And outsiders can never understand this.

But the ones born with a silver spoon,

they feel that darkness up close and personal.

And you know, honestly,

I don't think I'm strong enough to deal with that failure.

So I have to succeed.

For my sake.

Were your parents happy you decided to be an actor?

Yes, they were.

- But my mom was kind of against it. - Why?

Because she had also come to Bombay years ago

with the dream of being an actor.

But all she got were background dancing opportunities.

So she worries about me.

But my dad is very different. Complete opposite.

He's really supportive.

So I have to succeed.

For them.

- Sorry. - Sorry.

- Mirroring? - Mirroring?

Son, that's my job.

Sir, you? What are you doing here?

Well, it's you who is doing something. I was just watching it from there.

But, honestly, you guys were great.

What do you mean, sir?

You know, intimacy is not just physical,

it's emotional too.

I was being a bit of an asshole

so the two of you would unite against me.

Anyway, my work is done here.

All the best for the film.

It was nice meeting you.

- Thank you, sir. - Aasmaan.

- Thank you, sir. - Karishma.

Don't tell your dad about it.

No, sir.

Sukhi bhai…

Take care.

- Sir. - I hope you're not gonna sing.

No, sir.

I've said this before,

I'm saying it again,

and I'll say it until the day I die.

The entire might of Bollywood on one side

and Emraan Hashmi on one side.

Sir.

I love you, sir.

Bye, sir.

My love for you, my darling, is limitless

This won't work.

Dude, you're ancient. You don't know anything.

- Hey-- - Guys, one second, please.

Aasmaan,

I have some bad news.

What's wrong now?

Freddy's hired the best lawyers to go after you.

Fuck, man.

So what now?

Now we're in a fucking mess.

We may have to fight the case, hire some lawyers.

Please let me handle this and just stay by your phone.

Okay.

What a…

What a order, man! What a order.

Listen.

You know a good lawyer?

You still haven't told Karan about the Freddy thing?

Just tell him. He'll sort it out.

He's your uncle, not mine.

He'll kick me out of this film.

Come on, man, it's our last day in Goa. Come, man, come.

It's our last day in Goa. Maintain the spirit.

Hi, Karan.

Karishma, how's it going?

I've heard such good feedback about the two of you from Emraan.

Yeah, that went really well.

I'd called for something else.

Yeah, sure, tell me.

Okay, guys, don't get mad.

I spoke with Karan.

He'll sort your problem with Freddy.

Good. Good girl. Very good.

- Yeah. - Are you crazy?

Just go and meet him at his office in Bombay.

- Problem solved. - Office?

- He'll ban me from his office. - Why are you overreacting?

- Are you insane? - Are you insane?

- She's helping. - Nothing's gonna happen.

- Saving you. Helping! - Helping? Not with my problem.

Karan Johar's her friend, not mine!

- But she's helping you. - Are you her friend or mine?

- She's trying to save you. - Wait a second.

Karishma? Karishma, what's wrong?

She's choking on a bone. A fishbone's stuck in her throat.

Thump her back!

- Grab her! Come on! - A bone? Fuck!

From behind. Do some thrusts.

- Give her a good old thump! - Get it out!

- Come on! - Harder! Harder!

Karishma, cough! Thrust!

Harder! Do it harder! Harder! Thrust!

Karishma, cough!

The bone!

- Oh, God! - Sit down. Sit.

- My God! Karishma! - Sit.

Sit, sit.

- Here. Have some water. - Bloody fish!

Fuck.

Beautiful.

I love what you've done with the place, Anu.

It's nothing compared to yours, Dimple.

- Lallan, serve the food. - Yes, ma'am.

Has Karishma's flight landed?

It's delayed. Should be here soon.

Sameer.

Why didn't you send a jet for her?

Sinha sahib, why are you spoiling the kids?

Because he can afford to.

I'm not spoiling them, Ajay.

That reminds me.

I have something for her.

You don't need to do that.

She bagged a big film. Should I not get my daughter a gift?

Of course.

Talking of films, Aasmaan is so handsome, isn't he?

Karishma and he make a good pair.

Mom!

On-screen. On-screen, guys.

Will you be so jealous after the wedding too?

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

As you can see on your screens, Aasmaan Singh is dry humping a girl.

- And guess as to who it is? - Who's that lucky girl?

This is the number one star kid, daughter of the biggest star…

Is that Karishma?

No, of course not.

Of course, it's Karishma Talvar!

That's Karishma!

What the fuck! That's my girl!

KJo, what kind of a film are you making?

Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Hump?

It must be part of the workshop.

Media talks nonsense all the time. You know that.

- Yeah. It's that photoshop thing. - Let me tell you,

this is definitely not photoshopped.

And I think she likes it.

- Karishma Talvar seems to be enjoying it. - Mom, she's liking--

- I think she's liking-- - Just calm down.

Why aren't you watching?

- Sameer! - Where's the fucking remote?

Dimple, get a handle on your son.

- Who turned on the TV? - I don't know.

Dad, I found the remote!

If I were Ajay Talvar, I would've shaved my beard off out of shame.

I thought she was shooting a film!

…is Karishma Talvar cheating on billionaire Sameer Sinha?

- Mom, do something! - Will you stop it now?

This is rubbish. This channel plays fake news.

It's my channel!

We have a channel?

Dad, where's my channel?

Ma'am, shall I get the food served?

Next time.

Can you try Karishma's phone?

If you don't shut up, I'll take away your plane!

Fuck me. Pink Ferrari.

We need to fix this.

- More dinners, Dad. - Shut up.

I'll fix it. I'll fucking fix it.

- Don't do anything which-- - Mom!

What?

Can I marry Sameer instead?

Just shut up!

Please!

We can ally, collaborate on many more investments--

- Sir. - One second.

And we'll discuss all this over a meal. Come, ma'am. Come.

Karishma didn't come with you?

No, sir.

Then who are you going to hide behind today?

Sir, I had no idea that--

"I had no idea." Shut the fuck up.

Get your contract shit sorted in the next 24 hours, or you are out of this film.

- Sir-- - One more thing.

Don't fuck with the movie mafia.

How are you, Lallan?

Sir and madam are waiting for you outside.

Why is there a pink Ferrari outside?

Did Shaumik finally come out?

I let you out of my sight for just two days

and this is what you do?

What?

I've been waiting all night for this.

For what?

"For what?"

Is this what we've taught you?

US, London, sent you all over the world to study.

And you are grinding with some Lajpat Nagar loser?

- Mom, I wasn't grinding-- - Stop lying!

- Mom, listen-- - Listen to what?

All of us saw it. Even the Sinhas. It's on the YouTube.

"The YouTube"?

Your career hasn't even properly begun yet.

Will you hear me out?

And you're doing all this

dirty, public dry humping--

Stop it. I can't hear this anymore.

- And poor Sameer. Did you see his face? - I know. I know!

- But I can't hear this disgusting shit. - Just stop!

I know your image always comes first,

but just in case you care, your daughter could've died!

- I was choking. - On what?

On a fishbone!

It was that small?

Shaumik!

Just by the way, he was saving my life.

It's called the Heimlich manoeuvre.

Look it up.

"Heimlich manoeuvre."

Sounds like a German blowjob.

It's your money, Dad.

- Go to your fucking room, right now. - I'm going out.

It didn't break.

Ma'am.

- Ma'am. - Answer the call.

- Ma'am! - What?

Sir…

- The AC is working. It's cooling well. - Thank you.

Aasmaan, what--

What am I seeing on social media?

What's this about "humping"?

- What the hell are you doing? - Mom, I wasn't humping. I saved her life.

There are many to save her.

You don't need to be a hero.

Fine, next time, I'll do it privately.

- Aasmaan! - Bye.

This is not funny.

Neeta, don't be angry.

You know what I'm thinking?

That we should learn something from the kids.

Rajat!

It'll only take a few minutes.

- Shut up! - It's been a while, Neeta.

Do something. We don't have time.

This contract is watertight.

I don't see any way out.

Unless Freddy lets go of it.

Everything is in his hands now.

That means I'm the next…

Jaraj Saxena.

Where are you going?

To get a massage. Wanna come?

- Call everyone. - Yes, sir.

I want him blacklisted from everywhere.

Copy, sir.

Forget films, when I'm done with him, he won't even be good for fucking TikTok.

Good one, sir. Good one.

I want a happy ending. Okay?

Okay.

Anything for you, sir.

- Not you! - So sorry, sir.

Shiny skin, buddy.

Who the fuck are you?

Hey, we danger people!

We stabbing, you killing, you cry!

Then full China we kill!

But I'm from Nepal.

Where's the security?

Knocked out, outside.

Sign this.

What the fuck?

Why are you reading it? Just sign it.

Tell him,

if he has the balls,

he can get it signed himself.

What the-- Get that motherfucker!

What the hell is he doing?

Wake him up.

Hey!

Milkybar, sign it!

Sign it!

Fucking swine.

What's that?

Swine means "hans," bhai. "Hans."

"Hans" mean "swan," idiot.

Pig.

Your father is the pig, you asshole!

No, bhai, actually, rich folks say "swine" instead of "pig."

Really? You seem to know a lot about the rich.

Asshole, I own eight flats.

Then why do you live in a shack, poor man's Undertaker?

- You live in a shack too. - But mine's bigger than yours.

- Really? - Yes.

- Then show me. - Come and look.

- Fight it out! - He's right!

- Come on, then! - Come on!

Stop!

Just

- give me the papers. - Hey!

I'm signing it, asshole.

Then do it!

Here.

And if you go to the police, we'll pay you another visit.

And we'll make you give all of us a "happy ending."

With the mouth.

Bhai?

His mouth or our mouth?

His, obviously.

Sign it.

Baboons.

What's a baboon?

Bastard. Fucking bastard.

He sent his goons, Ajay.

If you were in my place--

…he would've still been under contract.

This is not my fault.

And this is not the launch I want for my daughter.

Ajay, try to understand--

The deal was simple, Freddy.

If Aasmaan does Karan's film,

then I won't do yours.

Don't do this, man.

I'll lose all my funding.

If you don't star in my film,

my investor will pull out.

I'll lose my company,

my father's legacy, Ajay.

It's his hard work, his life's work.

Thirty fucking years, Ajay.

You can't do this to me, man.

But, Freddy…

I just did.

He's still doing Karan's film.

I'll find another way.

What did Ajay sir say?

He's lost his fucking mind.

Subtitle translation by: Sheela Sijin Mathews