Original subtitles

What makes life the neatest?

Bestest and comestest.

It's a good you show, it's a good you know, it's the right somebody to love.

Candy makes you feel so dandy, but if you ask me,

she's the right somebody to love.

Hi, my name's Buster.

Buster Hyman. We've got the same English class, and I was wondering if you'd

like to get together, you know, go out.

How about it? What do you say?

Thank you, but no.

Do you realize who you just turned down?

Only the most popular guy in school.

I don't get it.

You turned down everyone.

Why don't you ever go out with anyone?

Promise you won't tell a soul?

Promise.

Okay. I'll tell you why.

It's my daddy.

He doesn't think I'm mature enough yet for dating.

You gotta be kidding.

I wish I was half that mature.

I don't know.

Sometimes I wonder if all this running from class to class is really getting me

anywhere. What do you mean?

Well... I came to college to try and do something important in life. You know,

some way to help my fellow man.

There are so many people in need in this world.

Hey, baby.

There goes your fellow man.

I'll see you later, Candy.

Bye, Evie.

Bye.

But if you ask me, Candy makes you feel so dandy.

But if you ask me, Candy, she's more than sugar and spice.

Fantasy becomes so real.

Ice cream, cake, and candy.

She's someone you can't...

and this is my candy.

Inside her meets a heart just as big as that fabulous chest.

How desperately she wants to feel the needs of man and be of service to his

needs if only she knew what they were.

Buenas tardes, Manuel.

It's nice days, Manuel.

Si, senorita.

Come inside, Candy.

Ay, Chihuahua.

Don't you think that you're saying a little bit too much of Manuel?

Now, Mrs. Howard told me that you spent all day Saturday talking with him.

That sort of thing does not look good to the neighbors.

Now, you know what I mean, Candy.

Yes, Daddy.

Daddy, would you fix yourself something for dinner?

What with the exams coming up and all, I'd just like to go straight on to bed

and get some sleep.

Whatever you wish, dear.

That kind of thing doesn't look good to the neighbors.

After all, we mustn't shop this hour.

Oh, Daddy.

I mean, really, I am 20.

That's me.

The world's last 20 -year -old virgin.

I don't care what you think.

I'm a woman.

So, Chiquita, you wish to be the woman of Manuel Leyva.

I admire your ambition.

Shame, shame, shame, Candy.

What will the neighbors think?

Manuel, don't leave me. I would just die if you go.

Let me be your woman.

You need me, darling.

I can make you happy.

Please, oh, darling, please.

Oh, Manuel.

Oh,

Manuel.

Oh, man.

Oh.

Oh, right there.

Oh.

Oh, man.

Oh.

Jamie. shame, shame. What will the neighbors think?

Oh,

Manuel.

I can make you happy, darling.

A candy.

So sweet.

It feels so good.

Oh, Manuel.

Oh, Manuel.

Oh,

Manuel.

My God.

Oh, Manuel.

Well, I guess that settles that.

Daddy? Daddy, are you up?

Oh.

Well, Candy's about to find out if dreams really do come true. I doubt if

will really understand what she's getting at. Besides, good morning,

Manuel is good boy.

Manuel's grasp of English is practically non -existent.

Hello, Manuel.

How are you this morning?

It's nice day, senorita, no?

Oh, yes.

That certainly doesn't look like much fun.

Why don't you come in for a cold drink?

Oh, don't worry. Daddy's gone out this morning.

You poor dear.

Well, don't worry about a thing.

I'll fix something and bring it to the greenhouse.

The greenhouse, Manuel?

I'll meet you in the greenhouse.

Greenhouse? Yes.

You poor dear. I have so much to teach you.

Oh, my, you're so dedicated, Manuel.

Here you go.

Gosh, you sure were thirsty.

Manuel, tell me about yourself.

What are your plans for the future?

Manuel, people must communicate.

That's the trouble with this world.

Nobody communicates.

I can help you, Manuel. I know I can.

Why not?

Manuel, don't change the subject.

I know. I'm embarrassing you. I'll stop.

But, Manuel, you do think people must communicate, don't you?

Si.

Oh, my darling Caballero.

You really do need me so.

Believe me, I understand.

It must be very hard for you as women.

Well, with your nationality being what it is and all.

Don't worry.

I'm here to help you.

Sandy,

are you out there?

Good grief, Daddy.

Don't you worry, you poor dear.

Candy will take care of you.

Candy?

That's my bedroom there, in the corner.

Come tonight.

For whatever you do, don't do anything until the lights in Daddy's room

are out.

Okay?

Until tonight, my Cavalero.

You can go back to work now.

But I'll be waiting when it's dark.

Right there.

I sure hope you got those windows right, Manuel.

Andy! Are you out there?

Manuel? Manuel?

Manuel?

I was not.

No, Manuel.

Manuel, slow down.

Out. Manuel.

Out.

Manuel. No. Out.

Manuel. Manuel.

I'll take care of this. God, shut her up. Manuel, Daddy, no.

Oh, God, no. Manuel.

Manuel. No, Daddy, stop. You child molester.

Bucci, Mr. Christian. Manuel is a good boy. Don't make trouble. Shut up.

I'm going to kill you.

Oh, God, don't.

You've got the best in the cooler.

Oh.

Things have really gotten out of hand.

Father had to be rushed to the hospital.

I just hope Candy can find his room.

I'm not saying she's dumb, mind you. In fact, she's really very clever in her

own selective manner.

Which is to say, bless her sweet little heart, that she deals with just one

thing at a time. Which at least keeps her confusion excluded.

Seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.

Check off.

Great.

Are you here for masturbation? I beg your pardon?

Masturbation? Onanism?

Whacking off?

Beating the old meat?

Fiddling the clit, as the case may be?

I'm surely not here for that.

And what do you mean by that?

Do you think there's something, quote, wrong? Or, quote, dirty about it?

Well, it does give you pimples, doesn't it?

Or maybe I'm thinking of what? Yeah, that's it for it.

Young lady.

You're not thinking at all.

Haven't you read my book, Masturbation Now?

No. I'm afraid not.

I thought as much.

Well, if you had, you'd understand that normal sexual relations are the basis

for all mental disorders.

I mean, the stresses and anxieties that go along with, quote, normal sex

are the...

that ignite the fires of insanity.

Hmm.

Fires of insanity.

Not bad.

Dr. Johnson wanted in surgery.

There's only one way to solve this epidemic of lunacy,

and that's for all of us to take things into our own hands.

As it were, we must take a grip on ourselves.

Yeah.

And then, and only then, will this lead us to the path of total

independence.

Now, come here. Let me help you. No! Come. Don't be ashamed of it.

Very good, my dear. Very good. Keep at it. Go.

Good. Good.

Good.

Excellent. Go.

My dear, you're doing very well. Thank you.

I was just looking for my daddy's room. He's hurt. He's had a terrible accident.

Was he in there?

No, but there was... Don't tell me. I don't want to hear it. Just tell me his

room number, and I'll help you find it.

324. Dr. Bishop to surgery, please. Okay. Dr.

Bishop to surgery.

Listen, let me tell you something. A lot worse things could happen.

Everybody gets over amnesia, just like in the movies.

I wouldn't even mind losing my memory around here for a few weeks.

We'd look at the lovely nurses and... Oh.

That.

That is class puss.

And here you've got your own private room.

Right down to the inside.

Candy's Auntie Craven.

Married to Candy's Uncle Dick, who is her father's identical twin brother.

Auntie fit well in the family. She was as unique as any of them in her own

special way.

Auntie was probably the most foul -mouthed, habitually horny, and utterly

uninhibited broad in the whole country.

Candy had always been intimidated by her aunt. The woman was both lovely and

sophisticated, and never exactly the same.

Sometimes she would treat Candy as if she were a child of three who should be

ignored.

And sometimes she would become the woman of the world for candy and speak

lightly of adultery and homosexuality, keeping the impressionable girl both

titillated and guilty.

Her puritanical father would have sent her to religious school if he'd ever

heard one of those conversations.

Now, the minute you get out of here, I'm taking you directly to Dr. Putz.

A man's absolute genius.

Why, Cosmo says...

That he's not simply a plastic surgeon. He's a sculptor.

Seymour Putz.

That's the man.

Well, he'll have you looking like a goddamn Burt Reynolds.

Oh, Dick, this is a lot of horseshit, and you know it. I am not going to spend

another minute talking to this drooling mongoloid.

Oh, my poor, poor daddy.

My poor, poor darling.

Somebody tell me, what's wrong with daddy?

What's wrong with him, and how long will it last?

We have to be careful with him. We can't move him.

Why can't we move him?

What did the doctor say, Uncle Dick? What's wrong with poor daddy?

What the hell do you think's wrong with him? He's flipped his rails, you know,

flipped his cookies.

Now, now, my dear, there is no need for this sort of... Oh, cut the bullshit.

The kid's got to find out that her old man is bonkers.

Oh, Candy, you're looking terribly well.

But, my dear, you seem a bit flushed.

Oh, my God.

You're not pregnant.

Well, I don't know why I should act surprised.

Oh, Auntie, you know I'm not.

What you said.

How can you be so thoughtless in front of poor Daddy?

Oh, poor Daddy's been playing with his toes for the last ten minutes. And

incidentally, what gives you the right to come on like such a pure virgin in

front of your favorite old auntie? Oh, Auntie, how can you say things like that

at a time like this?

Oh, come now, you can tell your old auntie.

Really, how many boys have been in those?

Cute little pants of yours.

Now, honestly, dear, this is hardly the appropriate time for this sort of

conversation.

Marvelous. You can't tell the drunk from the dummy. Well, thank you very much.

I'm getting out of here because this whole fucking story has gotten boring.

She doesn't handle these things very well, Ken.

She is very sensitive in her own way.

It must be terrible for you, Uncle Dick.

She doesn't seem to understand your needs.

Well, I guess it's just the way things work out.

Right now, it's your poor father that we have to take.

Oh, you poor dear.

Oh, you poor darling.

You really do need me so.

No, dearest. Uncle Dick, no. You mustn't sleep here.

Oh, wait. No, it's against the hospital rules. Come on. I'll help you.

Wait a moment. Your aunt never lets me sleep.

She's so cold, too, Sam.

Oh, I'll keep you warm, Uncle Dick. I need your warmth, Ken.

Oh, Uncle Dick, I'll keep you warm. Uncle Dick.

Oh, you do need my warmth.

Oh, Uncle Dick.

Oh,

darling.

Oh.

Uncle, dear.

I need your warmth, Annie.

Give me your warmth.

Give me your warmth, Annie.

Oh, give me your warmth.

Oh, uncle.

Give me your warmth.

Give me all your warmth.

Oh, dear.

How do you know? Oh!

must have made him crazy.

It was at that precise moment that Candy thought of going to visit her Aunt

Lucy. After all that confusion in the hospital, anyone would need a vacation.

At any rate, it's a long way to California.

Hi, how you doing?

Hi. You must be new in town, huh?

What makes you say that?

Well, because I go through this park at least twice a day, and I've never seen

you here before.

Well, maybe you just weren't looking.

Oh, yeah?

Well, pardon me for saying so, but you're not the type of person you really

to look hard to see twice.

Well, as a matter of fact, you're right.

I am new in town.

I just got in this morning. Where from?

Michigan.

I was a student there, but I just sort of had to get away.

Oh, listen. I know where you're coming from.

I've been there just the same like you. I just had to escape. My name is Sean,

and welcome to our city.

What's your name?

Candy. Candy Christian.

Well, listen, Candy.

I'm on my lunch hour. How would you like to go grab a bite to eat with me? Lunch

hour for what?

I'm on a used car sale.

Well...

I am awfully hungry.

Is there a nice place to eat around here? The best. The best. My place. I'm

fantastic cook.

Okay. Why not?

All right.

Come on in, Candy.

Why don't you have a seat?

Okay.

You sure do have a nice place.

Sean? Thank you. Listen, I'm going to go into the kitchen, put something in the

oven for our lunch, okay?

Okay.

Hey,

listen, are TV dinners okay?

Sure.

All right.

I'm going to ask Peter, and I'm going to go nuts.

How are you doing?

Okay.

Want to see a picture of my mother?

Sure.

I love you.

Sean, you shouldn't say things like that.

You can't possibly love me.

Oh, no.

I've hurt you.

Here, come and sit next to me.

Sean, I'm so sorry.

I didn't mean to hurt you.

Oh, you women are all alike.

As soon as you find out I have a problem, a deformity, you think you can

all over me.

Sean, I certainly... Hey, listen. It's always the same. No one will ever love

me. Ever.

Not real love. I'll probably wind up alone somewhere in an apartment.

All alone except for 30 or 40 cats.

Old and miserable.

Hey, listen, I've been everywhere. I've been all over the United States.

All the specialists, they all say the same thing.

No one can help me.

Help you what?

I don't see any deformity or anything.

No. Sean, what is it? Listen, don't even ask. Don't ask. It's horrible.

Just horrible.

Oh, I should never have been born.

Don't say such a thing.

Whatever is it? No, no, no. If I show you, you'll just...

He'll laugh and run away like the rest of them.

I won't.

I promise I won't.

I'm not like the other girls, Sean.

I can help you.

I don't know why I'm doing this, but... But okay,

Candy.

Just for you.

See?

I told you there was nothing wrong with you.

It's all in your head.

Here, I'll help you put your pants back on. See? See, I told you. I told you.

You think it's so ugly you can't even stand to look at it. No.

That's not what I meant at all.

You should be proud to have such a gigantic... Well, such a nice, nice

You should be glad you're different.

Well... Perhaps different was the wrong word.

I meant special.

That's it. You're special.

Do you really mean it? It doesn't bother you?

No, not even a little bit.

You can touch it if you want to.

You really like it?

You can kiss it.

You really want to?

And you can even put it in your mouth.

Oh, yeah, that's it.

Oh,

yeah, that's the way.

Oh, yeah. Ooh, just like that.

Oh, that's it. Yeah, move like that.

Oh, yeah. Oh, I love it.

Candy.

Uh, let me put it between your legs, okay?

Ooh. Oh, but you can't.

I really must go now. I have another bus to catch.

See? You're just like the rest of them, after all. You had me fooled for a

while. I'll admit it. But the truth always comes out sooner or later.

If you leave me now, I just know I'll do something drastic.

Please, Sean, please. You've got to stop.

Stop?

Stop what?

Stop this?

Cease, quit, terminate, desist?

That kind of stop?

It's because of this, isn't it?

No, I've already told you that.

Anyway, what difference does it make?

I have blue eyes, and you have that.

Big deal.

Yeah, but I love you, though. I love you, and I'm so close.

Whoa.

Oh.

I'm going to miss my bus if I don't scoot.

Candy's Auntie Anne had always had a relaxed, calming effect on her.

So it was very natural for Candy to visit her when she had a problem.

I just can't believe it, Candy. Hasn't your father told you anything?

Oh, don't bother to answer that. He wouldn't know what to say or how to say

Anyway, we'll set things right.

There's nothing to set right, Em.

Honestly.

I did what I felt was right.

I only gave my kindness.

Hogwash. All you gave him was a little free fun.

Well, now, there's nothing wrong with that, you know. I mean, girl's got the

kind of equipment you have for playing around.

But, honey, if you're going to play around, for God's sake, play it safe.

Hell, maybe you're not pregnant at all. Maybe it's just a nervous trauma or

something. People get those, you know, but with your father so ill and all. But

Dr. Andrew will take care of you for sure.

Dr. who?

No, no, no, no. Dr.

Andrew. I never heard of who.

Anyway, trust me a little.

You'll just love him. All my friends at the bridge club go to him.

Yes, doctor.

Miss Christian, the doctor will see you now.

Okay.

Now just robe and put this on. The doctor will be with you shortly.

Okay.

No, you've got it on backwards.

The hole goes in the back.

Oh, okay.

Is this the first time you've seen a gyno, honey?

Well, to tell you the truth, I... Spare me. Spare me. Just get your bottom up

here.

Okay.

Now, what are we here for today?

Well, I don't know what we're here for, but I'm here because I think I may be

pregnant. Oh, really?

Well, what makes you think that?

My period is late.

Exactly how late is it? One day.

One day?

Good Lord, one day isn't anything.

But you don't understand.

I'm never late.

A late period doesn't make you pregnant, my dear. Men do that.

So, uh, you've been fooling around, huh?

Now, these are going to feel a little cold.

But you just relax.

Because I'm going to check out everything.

Close your eyes.

Tell me about those men you've been with.

Oh, well, actually, I haven't really seen many men.

I've only just got started.

Oh, well, that's all right. Just tell me about the first. It's easier that way.

Oh, let's see. Maybe we should check out these literal...

Reflexes.

Can you feel that?

Good grief.

Yes.

Close your eyes. Shut your eyes.

Keep them shut.

And tell me about those men.

Well, the first one was with Mama.

Manuel. What?

Manuel.

He was our gardener.

And then there was my Uncle Dick.

Your uncle, huh?

Well, almost, anyway.

I see.

Is that all?

No. One more.

This guy I met in a park.

Nurse! Nurse Franklin!

You're just fine, my dear. Just fine.

Now, if you don't start your period in a few days, you'll just come right back

here.

Now, make sure that Candy gets all our free samples.

Terrible discharge.

You mean you've never really been examined before?

Good grief, yes.

But never by a doctor.

Oh, I almost forgot.

There's a letter for you. Oh.

Smells like your Aunt Craven.

Bye -bye.

Bye -bye, Auntie.

Bye -bye.

Well.

How the hell have you been, sweetcakes? And how's your cute little bush baby?

I tell you, there's nothing like travel to keep your quiv quivering.

Reminds me of Italy.

I got so much of that Dago cock that I thought I'd stop ministrating and start

administroning. Now, pull your hand out of your hot little pants and get serious

for a second.

Don't panic.

But your dear stupid daddy has flown the coop. That's right.

Split, gone, kaput.

There must have been some kind of bananas mix -up at the hospital. It

it was Uncle Dick under those bandages for days now.

The other day, he and old Charlie were pretending to do a strip. I got one look

at the old plunger of his, and I knew it was Dick.

I don't know how long he'll be wacko this time, but I've been getting some

marvelous therapy from a Dr.

Kulonic. He's really something.

Can not just a shrink.

He's an inventor, too.

He figures to make millions on a double therapy couch.

Ugh.

Boo!

Thank you.

Hmm.

Oh.

Let me tell you something, sugarpuss.

If a woman don't function, she ain't shit. Think it over, kiddo. And don't

any wooden dildos, your loving Auntie Crave.

What makes life...

Rest is incomplete.

It's a good you show. It's a good you know. It's the right somebody to love.

Candy makes you feel so dandy.

But if you add me, she's the right somebody to love.

Have you experienced your love quotient yet today?

Gosh, I'm not really sure.

Love can be as simple as a small donation.

It will feed our people as well as saving your immortal soul.

Oh, now I am embarrassed.

I don't have very much money and certainly not enough to save my immortal

Oh, money is only the most...

menial way of helping.

Actually, we are here to help you, yes.

But how can you help me if you don't even know what's wrong?

My name is Graham Hollander.

I'm the leader of the sect of the Baldy Krishka.

It is our belief that love will cure the ruptured groin of mankind.

And it is for us to instill in you The inner strength so that you may fight the

flames of desire that plague your body.

My.

My name is Candy.

How did you know about the, you know, flames and all that?

It was my destiny to know.

And to help.

It was no accident that you have come here to me today, Candy.

No, no, no. This is the rightful path for you to follow in your spiritual

advancement.

I certainly hope so.

I've been on a pretty rocky path so far.

And where has this... Where has this path of yours taken you?

Well, I first took the bus for a mission. Oh, no.

No, no, no, no, no. My... My child. What I mean is... To what stage

of spiritual advancement have you reached?

Oh.

I don't know.

I mean...

I never really thought about it that way before.

Then we must begin this very day.

There are many stages on the road to spiritual knowledge, and each stage

is more difficult than the next.

Many, many, many choose this path, but very few remain.

There is only one true way to knowledge.

Do you remember this?

Golly! How many stages are there?

Candy, you will live with us in our house.

You will grow and be spiritually lifted.

You will be able to look at the world like... like a man on a mountain looks

the peaks and the valleys below him.

It is inexpressible reality, Candy.

I don't get it.

A person...

A person must unshackle the constraints of self, become free of the burden

inherent within personality, and then, and only then, will he be truly free.

Don't look so puzzled.

It's a very, very difficult task, but I know you can do it.

I still don't quite get it.

Well, come with me, Candy, and you'll get it soon enough.

Trust me, and you'll be able to relieve yourself of all these past experiences.

Well, I've had some pretty unusual experiences.

Maybe you can help me.

We shall travel the path of wisdom together.

We shall grow and be spiritually uplifted.

Come with me.

I'm sorry. I was just thinking how all this might appear to one who is

not aware.

Aware of what?

Aware that all of these people here are doing control of the

senses. What you see before you are exercises designed to set the spirit

free from the bounds of the body. Yes, you understand?

Well, I don't really know. Let me explain, Connie. Perhaps it will help in

first lesson.

For instance, that couple, excuse me, that couple over there, they are doing

exercise known as the rigid nipple.

Yeah, don't talk to the rigid nipple, huh?

Connie! Yeah, that's right.

Ah, and those people there, they are doing the Yoni Mitchell, the Yoni

position. You notice the circular motion of both figures in perfect harmony.

Oh, it is just, it is beautiful. It is true cosmic rhythm.

Gosh. They are well on the path, those people there, yes.

Path to where?

The path, Candy.

To infinite oneness.

Mano. Oh, no, no, no. There we go. A very good one.

That one there is known as the bacon, lotus, and tomato.

Bacon, lotus, and tomato. You hold the mayo, huh? That's a joke.

I don't get it.

Let's see what we have here. We have many, many people here.

Ah!

Those people there.

That is known as the Yang Bang. That is one of my very, very favorite ones.

This is a new one. That is the Anita Orange.

Anita Orange?

Oh,

they're well on the path.

See?

Would you like to see something?

I'd like very much to show you.

All these people here can achieve true cosmic consciousness at the very snap of

a finger.

They can?

Yes, you believe me. I'll show you what.

Oh, gosh!

Aha!

Truly, Candy, the path is very, very difficult.

Many choose, very few arrive.

Have they arrived?

Oh, no, my child, no.

They have not arrived.

They have come.

See? Oh.

Come this way, my little fig leaf. Come with me.

There is a very, very special place here which I go to do my most intense

meditation. There is?

Yes, yes, there is. And I would like very much if you would come with me.

You do? Yes.

Very nice.

Now. The first thing we must do is to shed our bodies of

all worldly apparel.

Are you sure?

Candy? I am very, very sure, yes.

Now, don't come.

Now lay down.

Lay down. Lay down flat.

Now, spread your legs and you must lace your fingers behind

your head in true yoga fashion.

Henry, you must trust me. I am the guiding spirit of your soul.

I have no desire for your body.

It is your spirit that concerns me.

I understand.

Very good.

Very nice.

Now I will teach you the first lesson in spiritual awareness.

You will learn to soar above your bodily senses and fly

with your spirit.

Trusting.

Now, Candy, this is a mystic zone.

Feels good, yes?

Now, this is another mystic zone.

And this is also a mystic zone.

Ah, Candy, you're very, very wet mystic zone down there.

Love.

Lovely child, yes.

Relax and trust me.

I think he should be still.

Oh, my goodness.

You're a very sweet child.

Do you like that candy?

Tell me.

Well, I... Sure.

Are you sure this is the way?

Mistake zones.

All over.

Now, you are ready for another lesson.

One must be fully aware of one's senses in order

to control them.

Now, for example, you will notice that I have erected my penis. It is stout and

stiff.

Oh, no, don't be deceived. No.

It is just an illusion.

Without any material desire whatsoever, I have managed an election.

Go ahead. Touch it.

Squeeze it. Go ahead.

That's fine. Now, touch it some more. Yes.

Gosh, that's amazing.

Squeeze it. Squeeze it, Candy!

You see?

Now, you remember those people before? We do an exercise in cosmic

rhythm, like you saw those people do.

Gosh!

I will demonstrate yet one more mystical power to you. Not only do I have

complete... control over my bodily senses, but over my glandular ones as

Good grief!

It's Danny!

Good grief!

Don't leave now. I've got some scenes from my new film, Candy Goes to

that I'm sure you won't want to miss.

Well, our dear sweet Candy no sooner arrives in Hollywood than she meets

Dorff, actor's agent, star maker, hypnotist, and whatever else need be.

He knows talent when he sees it and decides to give her some voice lessons

her appearance on the Chuck Bearass Dong Show. On the Dong Show, Candy meets

Wendy Williams, who has a very unusual talent.

After being awarded first prize by the celebrity panel consisting of Rex P., J

.P. Organ, and Jamie Close, Chuck Bearass gives Candy the rest of her

Chuck tells his friend Johnny Farson about Candy.

And Farson immediately lines her up for a spot on his show.

Fascinated by Candy's natural assets, Johnny rehearses some lines with her in

his dressing room.

There's no business like show business.

Doing his job like a good agent should, Johnny Door Opener gets Candy an

audition with a big Hollywood producer.

He naturally has to give her a screen test.

And the story wouldn't be complete without the glitter of a Hollywood

Here Candy meets all the stars.

Rocky Stallion, Sarah Dawson, Chuck Berat, Ed the Man, J .P. Organ, and

all the rest of Johnny Starless.

If you like erotic adventures of Candy, you'll love Candy Goes to Hollywood.

Carol Connors once again melts your screen as Candy. I'm sure you won't want

miss this action -packed, star -studded episode in Candy's life as she continues

her adventures in Hollywood.

Someone you don't know.

It's really crazy.

Sandy makes you feel so sandy.

But if you ask, she's all right.