1 00:00:03,699 --> 00:00:06,420 What makes life the neatest? 2 00:00:07,520 --> 00:00:09,560 Bestest and comestest. 3 00:00:10,020 --> 00:00:16,100 It's a good you show, it's a good you know, it's the right somebody to love. 4 00:00:17,340 --> 00:00:24,060 Candy makes you feel so dandy, but if you ask me, 5 00:00:24,160 --> 00:00:27,920 she's the right somebody to love. 6 00:00:29,209 --> 00:00:30,910 Hi, my name's Buster. 7 00:00:31,270 --> 00:00:35,290 Buster Hyman. We've got the same English class, and I was wondering if you'd 8 00:00:35,290 --> 00:00:37,910 like to get together, you know, go out. 9 00:00:39,270 --> 00:00:40,470 How about it? What do you say? 10 00:00:40,990 --> 00:00:43,130 Thank you, but no. 11 00:00:47,530 --> 00:00:49,790 Do you realize who you just turned down? 12 00:00:50,090 --> 00:00:51,970 Only the most popular guy in school. 13 00:00:52,610 --> 00:00:53,770 I don't get it. 14 00:00:54,190 --> 00:00:55,410 You turned down everyone. 15 00:00:55,890 --> 00:00:57,710 Why don't you ever go out with anyone? 16 00:00:58,900 --> 00:01:00,720 Promise you won't tell a soul? 17 00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:02,160 Promise. 18 00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:05,260 Okay. I'll tell you why. 19 00:01:05,940 --> 00:01:07,120 It's my daddy. 20 00:01:07,340 --> 00:01:10,180 He doesn't think I'm mature enough yet for dating. 21 00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:11,800 You gotta be kidding. 22 00:01:12,020 --> 00:01:13,700 I wish I was half that mature. 23 00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:16,080 I don't know. 24 00:01:16,500 --> 00:01:22,340 Sometimes I wonder if all this running from class to class is really getting me 25 00:01:22,340 --> 00:01:23,820 anywhere. What do you mean? 26 00:01:24,860 --> 00:01:30,430 Well... I came to college to try and do something important in life. You know, 27 00:01:30,570 --> 00:01:32,650 some way to help my fellow man. 28 00:01:33,150 --> 00:01:37,670 There are so many people in need in this world. 29 00:01:37,990 --> 00:01:38,990 Hey, baby. 30 00:01:40,750 --> 00:01:45,670 There goes your fellow man. 31 00:01:48,430 --> 00:01:49,770 I'll see you later, Candy. 32 00:01:50,470 --> 00:01:51,470 Bye, Evie. 33 00:01:51,630 --> 00:01:52,630 Bye. 34 00:01:53,530 --> 00:02:00,270 But if you ask me, Candy makes you feel so dandy. 35 00:02:00,550 --> 00:02:06,530 But if you ask me, Candy, she's more than sugar and spice. 36 00:02:09,410 --> 00:02:12,470 Fantasy becomes so real. 37 00:02:12,730 --> 00:02:15,210 Ice cream, cake, and candy. 38 00:02:15,430 --> 00:02:17,970 She's someone you can't... 39 00:02:26,090 --> 00:02:27,650 and this is my candy. 40 00:02:28,650 --> 00:02:32,550 Inside her meets a heart just as big as that fabulous chest. 41 00:02:32,830 --> 00:02:37,150 How desperately she wants to feel the needs of man and be of service to his 42 00:02:37,150 --> 00:02:40,230 needs if only she knew what they were. 43 00:03:30,860 --> 00:03:32,440 Buenas tardes, Manuel. 44 00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:36,520 It's nice days, Manuel. 45 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:38,140 Si, senorita. 46 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:42,320 Come inside, Candy. 47 00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:57,900 Ay, Chihuahua. 48 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:11,000 Don't you think that you're saying a little bit too much of Manuel? 49 00:04:11,540 --> 00:04:15,120 Now, Mrs. Howard told me that you spent all day Saturday talking with him. 50 00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:18,019 That sort of thing does not look good to the neighbors. 51 00:04:18,339 --> 00:04:19,680 Now, you know what I mean, Candy. 52 00:04:20,620 --> 00:04:21,620 Yes, Daddy. 53 00:04:39,869 --> 00:04:43,190 Daddy, would you fix yourself something for dinner? 54 00:04:43,610 --> 00:04:47,850 What with the exams coming up and all, I'd just like to go straight on to bed 55 00:04:47,850 --> 00:04:48,850 and get some sleep. 56 00:04:50,150 --> 00:04:51,430 Whatever you wish, dear. 57 00:05:10,700 --> 00:05:13,480 That kind of thing doesn't look good to the neighbors. 58 00:05:13,860 --> 00:05:17,240 After all, we mustn't shop this hour. 59 00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:22,080 Oh, Daddy. 60 00:05:23,420 --> 00:05:25,900 I mean, really, I am 20. 61 00:05:30,780 --> 00:05:31,780 That's me. 62 00:05:32,780 --> 00:05:35,420 The world's last 20 -year -old virgin. 63 00:05:40,300 --> 00:05:41,700 I don't care what you think. 64 00:05:42,660 --> 00:05:43,760 I'm a woman. 65 00:06:03,980 --> 00:06:07,860 So, Chiquita, you wish to be the woman of Manuel Leyva. 66 00:06:08,220 --> 00:06:09,580 I admire your ambition. 67 00:06:10,110 --> 00:06:11,510 Shame, shame, shame, Candy. 68 00:06:11,850 --> 00:06:13,230 What will the neighbors think? 69 00:06:13,910 --> 00:06:19,990 Manuel, don't leave me. I would just die if you go. 70 00:06:20,590 --> 00:06:22,130 Let me be your woman. 71 00:06:22,390 --> 00:06:23,990 You need me, darling. 72 00:06:24,430 --> 00:06:26,590 I can make you happy. 73 00:06:27,870 --> 00:06:30,250 Please, oh, darling, please. 74 00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:04,760 Oh, Manuel. 75 00:07:06,900 --> 00:07:08,300 Oh, 76 00:07:14,700 --> 00:07:25,400 Manuel. 77 00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:38,880 Oh, man. 78 00:07:40,580 --> 00:07:41,580 Oh. 79 00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:44,880 Oh, right there. 80 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:46,160 Oh. 81 00:08:08,740 --> 00:08:11,180 Oh, man. 82 00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:13,560 Oh. 83 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:31,430 Jamie. shame, shame. What will the neighbors think? 84 00:08:37,190 --> 00:08:37,989 Oh, 85 00:08:37,990 --> 00:08:45,770 Manuel. 86 00:08:46,790 --> 00:08:49,190 I can make you happy, darling. 87 00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:11,440 A candy. 88 00:09:42,790 --> 00:09:43,990 So sweet. 89 00:10:28,590 --> 00:10:31,710 It feels so good. 90 00:10:33,490 --> 00:10:36,090 Oh, Manuel. 91 00:10:39,510 --> 00:10:41,990 Oh, Manuel. 92 00:10:44,510 --> 00:10:45,910 Oh, 93 00:10:45,910 --> 00:10:52,330 Manuel. 94 00:11:37,430 --> 00:11:38,430 My God. 95 00:12:51,260 --> 00:12:53,980 Oh, Manuel. 96 00:13:46,569 --> 00:13:49,810 Well, I guess that settles that. 97 00:14:27,329 --> 00:14:29,110 Daddy? Daddy, are you up? 98 00:14:34,450 --> 00:14:35,450 Oh. 99 00:14:40,270 --> 00:14:46,030 Well, Candy's about to find out if dreams really do come true. I doubt if 100 00:14:46,030 --> 00:14:51,270 will really understand what she's getting at. Besides, good morning, 101 00:14:51,270 --> 00:14:52,590 Manuel is good boy. 102 00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:56,680 Manuel's grasp of English is practically non -existent. 103 00:15:00,300 --> 00:15:01,340 Hello, Manuel. 104 00:15:02,180 --> 00:15:04,180 How are you this morning? 105 00:15:04,900 --> 00:15:06,460 It's nice day, senorita, no? 106 00:15:06,940 --> 00:15:07,980 Oh, yes. 107 00:15:09,500 --> 00:15:12,120 That certainly doesn't look like much fun. 108 00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:14,760 Why don't you come in for a cold drink? 109 00:15:15,900 --> 00:15:18,720 Oh, don't worry. Daddy's gone out this morning. 110 00:15:20,460 --> 00:15:21,820 You poor dear. 111 00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:23,920 Well, don't worry about a thing. 112 00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:27,140 I'll fix something and bring it to the greenhouse. 113 00:15:29,940 --> 00:15:31,500 The greenhouse, Manuel? 114 00:15:32,620 --> 00:15:34,660 I'll meet you in the greenhouse. 115 00:15:36,260 --> 00:15:37,600 Greenhouse? Yes. 116 00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:42,440 You poor dear. I have so much to teach you. 117 00:16:07,950 --> 00:16:10,410 Oh, my, you're so dedicated, Manuel. 118 00:16:11,490 --> 00:16:12,490 Here you go. 119 00:16:15,470 --> 00:16:17,570 Gosh, you sure were thirsty. 120 00:16:19,110 --> 00:16:21,330 Manuel, tell me about yourself. 121 00:16:21,650 --> 00:16:23,590 What are your plans for the future? 122 00:16:26,150 --> 00:16:28,790 Manuel, people must communicate. 123 00:16:29,430 --> 00:16:31,510 That's the trouble with this world. 124 00:16:31,710 --> 00:16:33,290 Nobody communicates. 125 00:16:33,670 --> 00:16:36,730 I can help you, Manuel. I know I can. 126 00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:39,280 Why not? 127 00:16:39,500 --> 00:16:41,940 Manuel, don't change the subject. 128 00:16:43,460 --> 00:16:46,840 I know. I'm embarrassing you. I'll stop. 129 00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:51,640 But, Manuel, you do think people must communicate, don't you? 130 00:16:52,060 --> 00:16:53,060 Si. 131 00:16:58,980 --> 00:17:05,280 Oh, my darling Caballero. 132 00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:07,960 You really do need me so. 133 00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:10,480 Believe me, I understand. 134 00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:14,400 It must be very hard for you as women. 135 00:17:14,839 --> 00:17:17,880 Well, with your nationality being what it is and all. 136 00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:19,960 Don't worry. 137 00:17:20,060 --> 00:17:21,540 I'm here to help you. 138 00:17:25,900 --> 00:17:26,900 Sandy, 139 00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:30,400 are you out there? 140 00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:31,980 Good grief, Daddy. 141 00:17:33,460 --> 00:17:35,280 Don't you worry, you poor dear. 142 00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:37,360 Candy will take care of you. 143 00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:38,680 Candy? 144 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:42,580 That's my bedroom there, in the corner. 145 00:17:43,660 --> 00:17:44,900 Come tonight. 146 00:17:45,940 --> 00:17:52,940 For whatever you do, don't do anything until the lights in Daddy's room 147 00:17:52,940 --> 00:17:54,200 are out. 148 00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:56,760 Okay? 149 00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:01,180 Until tonight, my Cavalero. 150 00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:04,780 You can go back to work now. 151 00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:08,420 But I'll be waiting when it's dark. 152 00:18:08,860 --> 00:18:10,540 Right there. 153 00:18:11,980 --> 00:18:14,860 I sure hope you got those windows right, Manuel. 154 00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:17,400 Andy! Are you out there? 155 00:18:22,020 --> 00:18:23,840 Manuel? Manuel? 156 00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:25,320 Manuel? 157 00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:35,800 I was not. 158 00:18:35,940 --> 00:18:36,940 No, Manuel. 159 00:18:38,180 --> 00:18:40,420 Manuel, slow down. 160 00:18:41,340 --> 00:18:43,980 Out. Manuel. 161 00:18:44,860 --> 00:18:46,140 Out. 162 00:18:48,340 --> 00:18:51,740 Manuel. No. Out. 163 00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:56,800 Manuel. Manuel. 164 00:21:08,139 --> 00:21:11,940 I'll take care of this. God, shut her up. Manuel, Daddy, no. 165 00:21:12,220 --> 00:21:13,520 Oh, God, no. Manuel. 166 00:21:14,120 --> 00:21:17,480 Manuel. No, Daddy, stop. You child molester. 167 00:21:17,860 --> 00:21:21,240 Bucci, Mr. Christian. Manuel is a good boy. Don't make trouble. Shut up. 168 00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:23,000 I'm going to kill you. 169 00:21:23,220 --> 00:21:24,580 Oh, God, don't. 170 00:21:28,020 --> 00:21:29,600 You've got the best in the cooler. 171 00:21:31,260 --> 00:21:32,260 Oh. 172 00:21:39,850 --> 00:21:41,770 Things have really gotten out of hand. 173 00:21:42,170 --> 00:21:44,330 Father had to be rushed to the hospital. 174 00:21:44,590 --> 00:21:46,850 I just hope Candy can find his room. 175 00:21:47,230 --> 00:21:53,090 I'm not saying she's dumb, mind you. In fact, she's really very clever in her 176 00:21:53,090 --> 00:21:54,430 own selective manner. 177 00:21:54,670 --> 00:21:59,670 Which is to say, bless her sweet little heart, that she deals with just one 178 00:21:59,670 --> 00:22:03,510 thing at a time. Which at least keeps her confusion excluded. 179 00:22:17,770 --> 00:22:24,430 Seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. 180 00:22:24,830 --> 00:22:25,910 Check off. 181 00:22:36,310 --> 00:22:37,310 Great. 182 00:22:38,570 --> 00:22:42,270 Are you here for masturbation? I beg your pardon? 183 00:22:43,910 --> 00:22:45,570 Masturbation? Onanism? 184 00:22:46,780 --> 00:22:47,780 Whacking off? 185 00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:49,460 Beating the old meat? 186 00:22:49,780 --> 00:22:51,480 Fiddling the clit, as the case may be? 187 00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:54,900 I'm surely not here for that. 188 00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:58,580 And what do you mean by that? 189 00:22:59,180 --> 00:23:04,480 Do you think there's something, quote, wrong? Or, quote, dirty about it? 190 00:23:05,180 --> 00:23:09,180 Well, it does give you pimples, doesn't it? 191 00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:13,340 Or maybe I'm thinking of what? Yeah, that's it for it. 192 00:23:13,780 --> 00:23:14,780 Young lady. 193 00:23:15,320 --> 00:23:17,020 You're not thinking at all. 194 00:23:18,660 --> 00:23:22,020 Haven't you read my book, Masturbation Now? 195 00:23:22,300 --> 00:23:24,720 No. I'm afraid not. 196 00:23:25,660 --> 00:23:27,480 I thought as much. 197 00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:34,000 Well, if you had, you'd understand that normal sexual relations are the basis 198 00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:36,200 for all mental disorders. 199 00:23:36,420 --> 00:23:42,220 I mean, the stresses and anxieties that go along with, quote, normal sex 200 00:23:42,220 --> 00:23:44,420 are the... 201 00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:47,880 that ignite the fires of insanity. 202 00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:49,760 Hmm. 203 00:23:50,860 --> 00:23:52,420 Fires of insanity. 204 00:23:52,740 --> 00:23:53,740 Not bad. 205 00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:55,820 Dr. Johnson wanted in surgery. 206 00:23:56,600 --> 00:24:02,360 There's only one way to solve this epidemic of lunacy, 207 00:24:02,460 --> 00:24:08,220 and that's for all of us to take things into our own hands. 208 00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:12,300 As it were, we must take a grip on ourselves. 209 00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:13,760 Yeah. 210 00:24:14,399 --> 00:24:21,080 And then, and only then, will this lead us to the path of total 211 00:24:21,080 --> 00:24:23,640 independence. 212 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:28,960 Now, come here. Let me help you. No! Come. Don't be ashamed of it. 213 00:24:32,820 --> 00:24:35,020 Very good, my dear. Very good. Keep at it. Go. 214 00:24:35,220 --> 00:24:36,220 Good. Good. 215 00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:37,600 Good. 216 00:24:38,140 --> 00:24:39,180 Excellent. Go. 217 00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:42,000 My dear, you're doing very well. Thank you. 218 00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:32,600 I was just looking for my daddy's room. He's hurt. He's had a terrible accident. 219 00:25:33,380 --> 00:25:34,380 Was he in there? 220 00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:37,660 No, but there was... Don't tell me. I don't want to hear it. Just tell me his 221 00:25:37,660 --> 00:25:39,440 room number, and I'll help you find it. 222 00:25:40,340 --> 00:25:42,520 324. Dr. Bishop to surgery, please. Okay. Dr. 223 00:25:42,780 --> 00:25:43,780 Bishop to surgery. 224 00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:50,620 Listen, let me tell you something. A lot worse things could happen. 225 00:25:51,060 --> 00:25:54,200 Everybody gets over amnesia, just like in the movies. 226 00:25:55,690 --> 00:25:59,250 I wouldn't even mind losing my memory around here for a few weeks. 227 00:25:59,990 --> 00:26:02,690 We'd look at the lovely nurses and... Oh. 228 00:26:03,930 --> 00:26:04,930 That. 229 00:26:05,490 --> 00:26:07,610 That is class puss. 230 00:26:07,810 --> 00:26:10,130 And here you've got your own private room. 231 00:26:13,890 --> 00:26:15,510 Right down to the inside. 232 00:26:15,810 --> 00:26:17,350 Candy's Auntie Craven. 233 00:26:17,710 --> 00:26:22,330 Married to Candy's Uncle Dick, who is her father's identical twin brother. 234 00:26:24,490 --> 00:26:28,750 Auntie fit well in the family. She was as unique as any of them in her own 235 00:26:28,750 --> 00:26:29,750 special way. 236 00:26:30,050 --> 00:26:34,630 Auntie was probably the most foul -mouthed, habitually horny, and utterly 237 00:26:34,630 --> 00:26:36,750 uninhibited broad in the whole country. 238 00:26:38,850 --> 00:26:43,650 Candy had always been intimidated by her aunt. The woman was both lovely and 239 00:26:43,650 --> 00:26:46,750 sophisticated, and never exactly the same. 240 00:26:47,310 --> 00:26:51,110 Sometimes she would treat Candy as if she were a child of three who should be 241 00:26:51,110 --> 00:26:52,110 ignored. 242 00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:57,260 And sometimes she would become the woman of the world for candy and speak 243 00:26:57,260 --> 00:27:02,320 lightly of adultery and homosexuality, keeping the impressionable girl both 244 00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:03,460 titillated and guilty. 245 00:27:06,660 --> 00:27:10,540 Her puritanical father would have sent her to religious school if he'd ever 246 00:27:10,540 --> 00:27:11,940 heard one of those conversations. 247 00:27:14,580 --> 00:27:18,820 Now, the minute you get out of here, I'm taking you directly to Dr. Putz. 248 00:27:19,260 --> 00:27:21,280 A man's absolute genius. 249 00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:22,720 Why, Cosmo says... 250 00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:26,420 That he's not simply a plastic surgeon. He's a sculptor. 251 00:27:27,380 --> 00:27:28,380 Seymour Putz. 252 00:27:28,700 --> 00:27:29,700 That's the man. 253 00:27:32,020 --> 00:27:35,640 Well, he'll have you looking like a goddamn Burt Reynolds. 254 00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:40,840 Oh, Dick, this is a lot of horseshit, and you know it. I am not going to spend 255 00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:43,880 another minute talking to this drooling mongoloid. 256 00:27:52,490 --> 00:27:54,270 Oh, my poor, poor daddy. 257 00:27:54,670 --> 00:27:56,330 My poor, poor darling. 258 00:27:57,590 --> 00:27:59,830 Somebody tell me, what's wrong with daddy? 259 00:28:00,490 --> 00:28:02,770 What's wrong with him, and how long will it last? 260 00:28:03,230 --> 00:28:06,610 We have to be careful with him. We can't move him. 261 00:28:07,230 --> 00:28:08,690 Why can't we move him? 262 00:28:09,050 --> 00:28:13,130 What did the doctor say, Uncle Dick? What's wrong with poor daddy? 263 00:28:13,390 --> 00:28:17,090 What the hell do you think's wrong with him? He's flipped his rails, you know, 264 00:28:17,210 --> 00:28:18,330 flipped his cookies. 265 00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:24,400 Now, now, my dear, there is no need for this sort of... Oh, cut the bullshit. 266 00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:27,780 The kid's got to find out that her old man is bonkers. 267 00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:33,420 Oh, Candy, you're looking terribly well. 268 00:28:34,100 --> 00:28:38,280 But, my dear, you seem a bit flushed. 269 00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:40,040 Oh, my God. 270 00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:41,760 You're not pregnant. 271 00:28:42,340 --> 00:28:44,740 Well, I don't know why I should act surprised. 272 00:28:45,020 --> 00:28:48,060 Oh, Auntie, you know I'm not. 273 00:28:48,490 --> 00:28:49,510 What you said. 274 00:28:49,930 --> 00:28:53,570 How can you be so thoughtless in front of poor Daddy? 275 00:28:53,930 --> 00:28:57,930 Oh, poor Daddy's been playing with his toes for the last ten minutes. And 276 00:28:57,930 --> 00:29:04,070 incidentally, what gives you the right to come on like such a pure virgin in 277 00:29:04,070 --> 00:29:09,410 front of your favorite old auntie? Oh, Auntie, how can you say things like that 278 00:29:09,410 --> 00:29:10,730 at a time like this? 279 00:29:10,950 --> 00:29:13,290 Oh, come now, you can tell your old auntie. 280 00:29:14,310 --> 00:29:17,010 Really, how many boys have been in those? 281 00:29:17,440 --> 00:29:18,680 Cute little pants of yours. 282 00:29:19,420 --> 00:29:24,440 Now, honestly, dear, this is hardly the appropriate time for this sort of 283 00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:25,440 conversation. 284 00:29:25,840 --> 00:29:30,680 Marvelous. You can't tell the drunk from the dummy. Well, thank you very much. 285 00:29:30,700 --> 00:29:34,860 I'm getting out of here because this whole fucking story has gotten boring. 286 00:29:40,100 --> 00:29:42,700 She doesn't handle these things very well, Ken. 287 00:29:43,940 --> 00:29:46,460 She is very sensitive in her own way. 288 00:29:48,240 --> 00:29:50,940 It must be terrible for you, Uncle Dick. 289 00:29:51,740 --> 00:29:54,460 She doesn't seem to understand your needs. 290 00:29:54,820 --> 00:29:58,640 Well, I guess it's just the way things work out. 291 00:29:59,260 --> 00:30:01,900 Right now, it's your poor father that we have to take. 292 00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:24,540 Oh, you poor dear. 293 00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:32,620 Oh, you poor darling. 294 00:30:33,340 --> 00:30:35,540 You really do need me so. 295 00:30:39,780 --> 00:30:43,300 No, dearest. Uncle Dick, no. You mustn't sleep here. 296 00:30:43,660 --> 00:30:47,780 Oh, wait. No, it's against the hospital rules. Come on. I'll help you. 297 00:30:48,140 --> 00:30:51,140 Wait a moment. Your aunt never lets me sleep. 298 00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:53,860 She's so cold, too, Sam. 299 00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:57,760 Oh, I'll keep you warm, Uncle Dick. I need your warmth, Ken. 300 00:30:57,960 --> 00:31:03,980 Oh, Uncle Dick, I'll keep you warm. Uncle Dick. 301 00:31:04,780 --> 00:31:08,000 Oh, you do need my warmth. 302 00:31:09,180 --> 00:31:12,480 Oh, Uncle Dick. 303 00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:15,240 Oh, 304 00:31:17,980 --> 00:31:18,980 darling. 305 00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:21,680 Oh. 306 00:31:22,120 --> 00:31:23,260 Uncle, dear. 307 00:31:23,660 --> 00:31:25,740 I need your warmth, Annie. 308 00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:28,160 Give me your warmth. 309 00:31:28,860 --> 00:31:31,780 Give me your warmth, Annie. 310 00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:36,040 Oh, give me your warmth. 311 00:31:36,260 --> 00:31:38,000 Oh, uncle. 312 00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:41,100 Give me your warmth. 313 00:31:42,020 --> 00:31:44,460 Give me all your warmth. 314 00:31:47,520 --> 00:31:49,220 Oh, dear. 315 00:31:52,750 --> 00:31:53,830 How do you know? Oh! 316 00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:03,520 must have made him crazy. 317 00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:17,080 It was at that precise moment that Candy thought of going to visit her Aunt 318 00:33:17,080 --> 00:33:21,700 Lucy. After all that confusion in the hospital, anyone would need a vacation. 319 00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:25,220 At any rate, it's a long way to California. 320 00:34:39,340 --> 00:34:40,340 Hi, how you doing? 321 00:34:40,719 --> 00:34:42,820 Hi. You must be new in town, huh? 322 00:34:43,300 --> 00:34:44,620 What makes you say that? 323 00:34:44,860 --> 00:34:48,620 Well, because I go through this park at least twice a day, and I've never seen 324 00:34:48,620 --> 00:34:49,558 you here before. 325 00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:51,380 Well, maybe you just weren't looking. 326 00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:52,600 Oh, yeah? 327 00:34:52,699 --> 00:34:56,420 Well, pardon me for saying so, but you're not the type of person you really 328 00:34:56,420 --> 00:34:57,640 to look hard to see twice. 329 00:34:58,940 --> 00:35:02,040 Well, as a matter of fact, you're right. 330 00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:03,620 I am new in town. 331 00:35:03,900 --> 00:35:06,400 I just got in this morning. Where from? 332 00:35:07,140 --> 00:35:08,140 Michigan. 333 00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:13,180 I was a student there, but I just sort of had to get away. 334 00:35:13,540 --> 00:35:15,840 Oh, listen. I know where you're coming from. 335 00:35:16,480 --> 00:35:20,100 I've been there just the same like you. I just had to escape. My name is Sean, 336 00:35:20,280 --> 00:35:22,220 and welcome to our city. 337 00:35:22,620 --> 00:35:23,620 What's your name? 338 00:35:24,900 --> 00:35:26,640 Candy. Candy Christian. 339 00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:28,360 Well, listen, Candy. 340 00:35:28,580 --> 00:35:32,260 I'm on my lunch hour. How would you like to go grab a bite to eat with me? Lunch 341 00:35:32,260 --> 00:35:33,158 hour for what? 342 00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:34,240 I'm on a used car sale. 343 00:35:36,100 --> 00:35:37,100 Well... 344 00:35:38,030 --> 00:35:39,590 I am awfully hungry. 345 00:35:40,630 --> 00:35:45,490 Is there a nice place to eat around here? The best. The best. My place. I'm 346 00:35:45,490 --> 00:35:46,490 fantastic cook. 347 00:35:47,330 --> 00:35:48,550 Okay. Why not? 348 00:35:48,790 --> 00:35:49,790 All right. 349 00:35:52,790 --> 00:35:53,790 Come on in, Candy. 350 00:35:58,770 --> 00:36:00,590 Why don't you have a seat? 351 00:36:00,990 --> 00:36:01,990 Okay. 352 00:36:04,910 --> 00:36:07,170 You sure do have a nice place. 353 00:36:08,180 --> 00:36:12,260 Sean? Thank you. Listen, I'm going to go into the kitchen, put something in the 354 00:36:12,260 --> 00:36:13,460 oven for our lunch, okay? 355 00:36:14,080 --> 00:36:15,080 Okay. 356 00:36:15,780 --> 00:36:16,780 Hey, 357 00:36:17,420 --> 00:36:19,580 listen, are TV dinners okay? 358 00:36:20,380 --> 00:36:21,380 Sure. 359 00:36:22,180 --> 00:36:23,180 All right. 360 00:36:23,500 --> 00:36:25,980 I'm going to ask Peter, and I'm going to go nuts. 361 00:36:34,180 --> 00:36:35,180 How are you doing? 362 00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:37,360 Okay. 363 00:36:38,280 --> 00:36:40,060 Want to see a picture of my mother? 364 00:36:40,500 --> 00:36:41,500 Sure. 365 00:36:43,740 --> 00:36:44,780 I love you. 366 00:36:45,820 --> 00:36:49,180 Sean, you shouldn't say things like that. 367 00:36:49,780 --> 00:36:52,180 You can't possibly love me. 368 00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:54,860 Oh, no. 369 00:36:55,120 --> 00:36:56,220 I've hurt you. 370 00:36:56,580 --> 00:36:58,840 Here, come and sit next to me. 371 00:37:03,140 --> 00:37:05,780 Sean, I'm so sorry. 372 00:37:06,040 --> 00:37:07,860 I didn't mean to hurt you. 373 00:37:08,200 --> 00:37:10,100 Oh, you women are all alike. 374 00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:16,340 As soon as you find out I have a problem, a deformity, you think you can 375 00:37:16,340 --> 00:37:17,339 all over me. 376 00:37:17,340 --> 00:37:23,700 Sean, I certainly... Hey, listen. It's always the same. No one will ever love 377 00:37:23,700 --> 00:37:24,700 me. Ever. 378 00:37:25,140 --> 00:37:30,400 Not real love. I'll probably wind up alone somewhere in an apartment. 379 00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:33,700 All alone except for 30 or 40 cats. 380 00:37:34,020 --> 00:37:35,300 Old and miserable. 381 00:37:39,440 --> 00:37:42,580 Hey, listen, I've been everywhere. I've been all over the United States. 382 00:37:42,940 --> 00:37:45,340 All the specialists, they all say the same thing. 383 00:37:45,620 --> 00:37:46,960 No one can help me. 384 00:37:47,500 --> 00:37:48,500 Help you what? 385 00:37:49,340 --> 00:37:51,980 I don't see any deformity or anything. 386 00:37:52,360 --> 00:37:57,200 No. Sean, what is it? Listen, don't even ask. Don't ask. It's horrible. 387 00:37:57,400 --> 00:37:58,400 Just horrible. 388 00:37:58,980 --> 00:38:01,100 Oh, I should never have been born. 389 00:38:02,040 --> 00:38:03,620 Don't say such a thing. 390 00:38:04,900 --> 00:38:08,680 Whatever is it? No, no, no. If I show you, you'll just... 391 00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:11,560 He'll laugh and run away like the rest of them. 392 00:38:12,580 --> 00:38:13,580 I won't. 393 00:38:13,760 --> 00:38:15,760 I promise I won't. 394 00:38:16,900 --> 00:38:18,940 I'm not like the other girls, Sean. 395 00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:21,840 I can help you. 396 00:38:22,740 --> 00:38:29,640 I don't know why I'm doing this, but... But okay, 397 00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:30,760 Candy. 398 00:38:30,820 --> 00:38:31,820 Just for you. 399 00:38:32,980 --> 00:38:33,980 See? 400 00:38:37,420 --> 00:38:39,680 I told you there was nothing wrong with you. 401 00:38:40,340 --> 00:38:41,540 It's all in your head. 402 00:38:42,180 --> 00:38:47,020 Here, I'll help you put your pants back on. See? See, I told you. I told you. 403 00:38:47,040 --> 00:38:51,000 You think it's so ugly you can't even stand to look at it. No. 404 00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:53,000 That's not what I meant at all. 405 00:38:55,180 --> 00:39:01,700 You should be proud to have such a gigantic... Well, such a nice, nice 406 00:39:02,660 --> 00:39:05,360 You should be glad you're different. 407 00:39:06,540 --> 00:39:09,680 Well... Perhaps different was the wrong word. 408 00:39:09,940 --> 00:39:11,420 I meant special. 409 00:39:12,380 --> 00:39:14,160 That's it. You're special. 410 00:39:14,480 --> 00:39:18,120 Do you really mean it? It doesn't bother you? 411 00:39:18,860 --> 00:39:20,820 No, not even a little bit. 412 00:39:21,720 --> 00:39:23,460 You can touch it if you want to. 413 00:39:27,700 --> 00:39:29,280 You really like it? 414 00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:32,340 You can kiss it. 415 00:39:33,960 --> 00:39:35,400 You really want to? 416 00:39:38,060 --> 00:39:39,800 And you can even put it in your mouth. 417 00:40:23,150 --> 00:40:24,150 Oh, yeah, that's it. 418 00:40:33,250 --> 00:40:34,250 Oh, 419 00:40:45,190 --> 00:40:46,290 yeah, that's the way. 420 00:40:54,640 --> 00:40:56,440 Oh, yeah. Ooh, just like that. 421 00:40:57,280 --> 00:41:01,220 Oh, that's it. Yeah, move like that. 422 00:41:02,320 --> 00:41:04,940 Oh, yeah. Oh, I love it. 423 00:41:06,500 --> 00:41:07,500 Candy. 424 00:41:09,740 --> 00:41:13,440 Uh, let me put it between your legs, okay? 425 00:41:14,540 --> 00:41:17,380 Ooh. Oh, but you can't. 426 00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:21,420 I really must go now. I have another bus to catch. 427 00:41:22,740 --> 00:41:26,900 See? You're just like the rest of them, after all. You had me fooled for a 428 00:41:26,900 --> 00:41:30,560 while. I'll admit it. But the truth always comes out sooner or later. 429 00:41:30,900 --> 00:41:34,620 If you leave me now, I just know I'll do something drastic. 430 00:41:54,730 --> 00:41:57,550 Please, Sean, please. You've got to stop. 431 00:41:58,390 --> 00:41:59,390 Stop? 432 00:41:59,610 --> 00:42:00,610 Stop what? 433 00:42:00,890 --> 00:42:01,890 Stop this? 434 00:42:02,470 --> 00:42:04,490 Cease, quit, terminate, desist? 435 00:42:04,790 --> 00:42:05,950 That kind of stop? 436 00:42:06,910 --> 00:42:08,510 It's because of this, isn't it? 437 00:42:08,730 --> 00:42:11,010 No, I've already told you that. 438 00:42:11,670 --> 00:42:14,130 Anyway, what difference does it make? 439 00:42:14,490 --> 00:42:17,510 I have blue eyes, and you have that. 440 00:42:18,150 --> 00:42:19,150 Big deal. 441 00:42:19,290 --> 00:42:23,050 Yeah, but I love you, though. I love you, and I'm so close. 442 00:42:24,360 --> 00:42:25,360 Whoa. 443 00:47:16,270 --> 00:47:17,270 Oh. 444 00:48:34,280 --> 00:48:36,380 I'm going to miss my bus if I don't scoot. 445 00:48:39,220 --> 00:48:43,180 Candy's Auntie Anne had always had a relaxed, calming effect on her. 446 00:48:43,460 --> 00:48:47,320 So it was very natural for Candy to visit her when she had a problem. 447 00:48:50,900 --> 00:48:54,680 I just can't believe it, Candy. Hasn't your father told you anything? 448 00:48:55,140 --> 00:48:58,920 Oh, don't bother to answer that. He wouldn't know what to say or how to say 449 00:48:59,640 --> 00:49:01,380 Anyway, we'll set things right. 450 00:49:03,770 --> 00:49:06,150 There's nothing to set right, Em. 451 00:49:06,930 --> 00:49:07,930 Honestly. 452 00:49:08,250 --> 00:49:09,870 I did what I felt was right. 453 00:49:10,190 --> 00:49:11,930 I only gave my kindness. 454 00:49:13,950 --> 00:49:16,750 Hogwash. All you gave him was a little free fun. 455 00:49:17,190 --> 00:49:20,710 Well, now, there's nothing wrong with that, you know. I mean, girl's got the 456 00:49:20,710 --> 00:49:22,390 kind of equipment you have for playing around. 457 00:49:22,590 --> 00:49:25,310 But, honey, if you're going to play around, for God's sake, play it safe. 458 00:49:26,440 --> 00:49:30,280 Hell, maybe you're not pregnant at all. Maybe it's just a nervous trauma or 459 00:49:30,280 --> 00:49:34,280 something. People get those, you know, but with your father so ill and all. But 460 00:49:34,280 --> 00:49:36,120 Dr. Andrew will take care of you for sure. 461 00:49:36,660 --> 00:49:37,660 Dr. who? 462 00:49:37,720 --> 00:49:39,400 No, no, no, no. Dr. 463 00:49:39,740 --> 00:49:41,720 Andrew. I never heard of who. 464 00:49:42,160 --> 00:49:43,940 Anyway, trust me a little. 465 00:49:45,260 --> 00:49:49,100 You'll just love him. All my friends at the bridge club go to him. 466 00:50:13,830 --> 00:50:14,830 Yes, doctor. 467 00:50:19,250 --> 00:50:22,030 Miss Christian, the doctor will see you now. 468 00:50:22,370 --> 00:50:23,370 Okay. 469 00:50:28,550 --> 00:50:32,030 Now just robe and put this on. The doctor will be with you shortly. 470 00:50:32,430 --> 00:50:33,430 Okay. 471 00:51:06,029 --> 00:51:07,830 No, you've got it on backwards. 472 00:51:08,250 --> 00:51:09,750 The hole goes in the back. 473 00:51:10,430 --> 00:51:11,430 Oh, okay. 474 00:51:28,250 --> 00:51:30,870 Is this the first time you've seen a gyno, honey? 475 00:51:31,790 --> 00:51:35,950 Well, to tell you the truth, I... Spare me. Spare me. Just get your bottom up 476 00:51:35,950 --> 00:51:36,950 here. 477 00:51:37,090 --> 00:51:38,090 Okay. 478 00:51:46,090 --> 00:51:47,650 Now, what are we here for today? 479 00:51:50,430 --> 00:51:56,010 Well, I don't know what we're here for, but I'm here because I think I may be 480 00:51:56,010 --> 00:51:57,490 pregnant. Oh, really? 481 00:51:57,970 --> 00:51:59,350 Well, what makes you think that? 482 00:51:59,960 --> 00:52:01,380 My period is late. 483 00:52:01,920 --> 00:52:04,200 Exactly how late is it? One day. 484 00:52:04,500 --> 00:52:05,500 One day? 485 00:52:05,740 --> 00:52:07,660 Good Lord, one day isn't anything. 486 00:52:08,060 --> 00:52:09,400 But you don't understand. 487 00:52:10,260 --> 00:52:11,520 I'm never late. 488 00:52:12,640 --> 00:52:16,960 A late period doesn't make you pregnant, my dear. Men do that. 489 00:52:18,940 --> 00:52:22,080 So, uh, you've been fooling around, huh? 490 00:52:24,860 --> 00:52:28,800 Now, these are going to feel a little cold. 491 00:52:30,640 --> 00:52:31,640 But you just relax. 492 00:52:33,820 --> 00:52:36,460 Because I'm going to check out everything. 493 00:52:37,980 --> 00:52:38,980 Close your eyes. 494 00:52:40,160 --> 00:52:42,080 Tell me about those men you've been with. 495 00:52:43,300 --> 00:52:47,020 Oh, well, actually, I haven't really seen many men. 496 00:52:47,840 --> 00:52:49,560 I've only just got started. 497 00:52:50,320 --> 00:52:52,980 Oh, well, that's all right. Just tell me about the first. It's easier that way. 498 00:52:54,000 --> 00:52:57,680 Oh, let's see. Maybe we should check out these literal... 499 00:53:00,260 --> 00:53:01,260 Reflexes. 500 00:53:07,180 --> 00:53:09,240 Can you feel that? 501 00:53:09,440 --> 00:53:10,440 Good grief. 502 00:53:10,600 --> 00:53:11,600 Yes. 503 00:53:14,200 --> 00:53:15,920 Close your eyes. Shut your eyes. 504 00:53:16,500 --> 00:53:17,500 Keep them shut. 505 00:53:17,880 --> 00:53:19,480 And tell me about those men. 506 00:53:22,880 --> 00:53:26,480 Well, the first one was with Mama. 507 00:53:32,509 --> 00:53:34,270 Manuel. What? 508 00:53:34,750 --> 00:53:35,750 Manuel. 509 00:53:36,390 --> 00:53:40,710 He was our gardener. 510 00:53:41,610 --> 00:53:45,750 And then there was my Uncle Dick. 511 00:53:46,850 --> 00:53:48,170 Your uncle, huh? 512 00:53:48,390 --> 00:53:50,090 Well, almost, anyway. 513 00:53:51,410 --> 00:53:52,630 I see. 514 00:53:52,910 --> 00:53:54,010 Is that all? 515 00:53:55,370 --> 00:53:57,320 No. One more. 516 00:53:57,700 --> 00:53:59,400 This guy I met in a park. 517 00:57:16,940 --> 00:57:18,240 Nurse! Nurse Franklin! 518 00:57:20,380 --> 00:57:22,700 You're just fine, my dear. Just fine. 519 00:57:23,940 --> 00:57:27,960 Now, if you don't start your period in a few days, you'll just come right back 520 00:57:27,960 --> 00:57:28,960 here. 521 00:57:36,480 --> 00:57:40,740 Now, make sure that Candy gets all our free samples. 522 00:57:41,480 --> 00:57:42,480 Terrible discharge. 523 00:57:46,960 --> 00:57:49,780 You mean you've never really been examined before? 524 00:57:50,080 --> 00:57:51,340 Good grief, yes. 525 00:57:51,580 --> 00:57:54,000 But never by a doctor. 526 00:57:55,900 --> 00:57:57,340 Oh, I almost forgot. 527 00:57:57,880 --> 00:57:59,700 There's a letter for you. Oh. 528 00:58:00,020 --> 00:58:01,740 Smells like your Aunt Craven. 529 00:58:02,100 --> 00:58:03,100 Bye -bye. 530 00:58:03,340 --> 00:58:04,520 Bye -bye, Auntie. 531 00:58:04,900 --> 00:58:05,900 Bye -bye. 532 00:58:07,540 --> 00:58:08,540 Well. 533 00:58:12,970 --> 00:58:16,610 How the hell have you been, sweetcakes? And how's your cute little bush baby? 534 00:58:17,030 --> 00:58:21,490 I tell you, there's nothing like travel to keep your quiv quivering. 535 00:58:22,330 --> 00:58:23,330 Reminds me of Italy. 536 00:58:23,510 --> 00:58:28,270 I got so much of that Dago cock that I thought I'd stop ministrating and start 537 00:58:28,270 --> 00:58:33,670 administroning. Now, pull your hand out of your hot little pants and get serious 538 00:58:33,670 --> 00:58:34,670 for a second. 539 00:58:34,870 --> 00:58:35,870 Don't panic. 540 00:58:35,910 --> 00:58:39,610 But your dear stupid daddy has flown the coop. That's right. 541 00:58:39,830 --> 00:58:41,610 Split, gone, kaput. 542 00:58:41,920 --> 00:58:45,400 There must have been some kind of bananas mix -up at the hospital. It 543 00:58:45,400 --> 00:58:48,560 it was Uncle Dick under those bandages for days now. 544 00:58:48,780 --> 00:58:53,620 The other day, he and old Charlie were pretending to do a strip. I got one look 545 00:58:53,620 --> 00:58:56,780 at the old plunger of his, and I knew it was Dick. 546 00:58:57,260 --> 00:59:01,140 I don't know how long he'll be wacko this time, but I've been getting some 547 00:59:01,140 --> 00:59:03,780 marvelous therapy from a Dr. 548 00:59:04,100 --> 00:59:06,280 Kulonic. He's really something. 549 00:59:06,780 --> 00:59:08,920 Can not just a shrink. 550 00:59:09,260 --> 00:59:10,860 He's an inventor, too. 551 00:59:11,600 --> 00:59:14,700 He figures to make millions on a double therapy couch. 552 01:00:02,060 --> 01:00:03,060 Ugh. 553 01:00:33,640 --> 01:00:34,640 Boo! 554 01:01:24,859 --> 01:01:26,000 Thank you. 555 01:01:53,800 --> 01:01:54,800 Hmm. 556 01:02:34,710 --> 01:02:36,110 Oh. 557 01:04:02,160 --> 01:04:03,360 Let me tell you something, sugarpuss. 558 01:04:03,600 --> 01:04:09,060 If a woman don't function, she ain't shit. Think it over, kiddo. And don't 559 01:04:09,060 --> 01:04:12,100 any wooden dildos, your loving Auntie Crave. 560 01:04:28,640 --> 01:04:30,580 What makes life... 561 01:04:32,780 --> 01:04:33,880 Rest is incomplete. 562 01:04:34,980 --> 01:04:41,120 It's a good you show. It's a good you know. It's the right somebody to love. 563 01:04:42,640 --> 01:04:46,760 Candy makes you feel so dandy. 564 01:04:47,060 --> 01:04:53,040 But if you add me, she's the right somebody to love. 565 01:05:21,470 --> 01:05:24,910 Have you experienced your love quotient yet today? 566 01:05:25,390 --> 01:05:27,850 Gosh, I'm not really sure. 567 01:05:28,810 --> 01:05:32,450 Love can be as simple as a small donation. 568 01:05:32,890 --> 01:05:37,310 It will feed our people as well as saving your immortal soul. 569 01:05:37,830 --> 01:05:40,710 Oh, now I am embarrassed. 570 01:05:41,370 --> 01:05:47,110 I don't have very much money and certainly not enough to save my immortal 571 01:05:47,790 --> 01:05:50,210 Oh, money is only the most... 572 01:05:50,430 --> 01:05:52,350 menial way of helping. 573 01:05:52,950 --> 01:05:56,250 Actually, we are here to help you, yes. 574 01:05:56,830 --> 01:06:00,250 But how can you help me if you don't even know what's wrong? 575 01:06:01,330 --> 01:06:03,830 My name is Graham Hollander. 576 01:06:04,410 --> 01:06:07,330 I'm the leader of the sect of the Baldy Krishka. 577 01:06:07,830 --> 01:06:13,550 It is our belief that love will cure the ruptured groin of mankind. 578 01:06:14,190 --> 01:06:21,080 And it is for us to instill in you The inner strength so that you may fight the 579 01:06:21,080 --> 01:06:23,180 flames of desire that plague your body. 580 01:06:23,760 --> 01:06:24,760 My. 581 01:06:26,120 --> 01:06:27,340 My name is Candy. 582 01:06:27,940 --> 01:06:31,720 How did you know about the, you know, flames and all that? 583 01:06:32,460 --> 01:06:35,040 It was my destiny to know. 584 01:06:35,480 --> 01:06:36,480 And to help. 585 01:06:37,100 --> 01:06:40,100 It was no accident that you have come here to me today, Candy. 586 01:06:40,560 --> 01:06:45,820 No, no, no. This is the rightful path for you to follow in your spiritual 587 01:06:45,820 --> 01:06:46,820 advancement. 588 01:06:47,200 --> 01:06:48,640 I certainly hope so. 589 01:06:48,920 --> 01:06:51,740 I've been on a pretty rocky path so far. 590 01:06:52,800 --> 01:06:57,040 And where has this... Where has this path of yours taken you? 591 01:06:57,280 --> 01:07:00,400 Well, I first took the bus for a mission. Oh, no. 592 01:07:00,840 --> 01:07:07,800 No, no, no, no, no. My... My child. What I mean is... To what stage 593 01:07:07,800 --> 01:07:10,820 of spiritual advancement have you reached? 594 01:07:11,200 --> 01:07:12,200 Oh. 595 01:07:12,640 --> 01:07:13,640 I don't know. 596 01:07:14,460 --> 01:07:15,460 I mean... 597 01:07:16,460 --> 01:07:18,700 I never really thought about it that way before. 598 01:07:19,740 --> 01:07:24,120 Then we must begin this very day. 599 01:07:24,580 --> 01:07:31,560 There are many stages on the road to spiritual knowledge, and each stage 600 01:07:31,560 --> 01:07:33,140 is more difficult than the next. 601 01:07:34,600 --> 01:07:38,720 Many, many, many choose this path, but very few remain. 602 01:07:39,620 --> 01:07:42,240 There is only one true way to knowledge. 603 01:07:42,460 --> 01:07:43,460 Do you remember this? 604 01:07:43,700 --> 01:07:46,440 Golly! How many stages are there? 605 01:07:48,800 --> 01:07:51,440 Candy, you will live with us in our house. 606 01:07:51,700 --> 01:07:54,460 You will grow and be spiritually lifted. 607 01:07:55,220 --> 01:08:01,340 You will be able to look at the world like... like a man on a mountain looks 608 01:08:01,340 --> 01:08:03,320 the peaks and the valleys below him. 609 01:08:04,260 --> 01:08:07,720 It is inexpressible reality, Candy. 610 01:08:08,600 --> 01:08:09,900 I don't get it. 611 01:08:10,600 --> 01:08:11,880 A person... 612 01:08:12,460 --> 01:08:18,300 A person must unshackle the constraints of self, become free of the burden 613 01:08:18,300 --> 01:08:22,460 inherent within personality, and then, and only then, will he be truly free. 614 01:08:23,020 --> 01:08:24,439 Don't look so puzzled. 615 01:08:24,760 --> 01:08:27,819 It's a very, very difficult task, but I know you can do it. 616 01:08:29,260 --> 01:08:31,560 I still don't quite get it. 617 01:08:32,140 --> 01:08:34,640 Well, come with me, Candy, and you'll get it soon enough. 618 01:08:35,920 --> 01:08:40,920 Trust me, and you'll be able to relieve yourself of all these past experiences. 619 01:08:44,639 --> 01:08:47,840 Well, I've had some pretty unusual experiences. 620 01:08:49,979 --> 01:08:51,580 Maybe you can help me. 621 01:08:52,779 --> 01:08:56,040 We shall travel the path of wisdom together. 622 01:08:56,880 --> 01:09:01,460 We shall grow and be spiritually uplifted. 623 01:09:02,920 --> 01:09:03,920 Come with me. 624 01:09:20,880 --> 01:09:27,840 I'm sorry. I was just thinking how all this might appear to one who is 625 01:09:27,840 --> 01:09:28,840 not aware. 626 01:09:30,060 --> 01:09:31,200 Aware of what? 627 01:09:32,439 --> 01:09:39,040 Aware that all of these people here are doing control of the 628 01:09:39,040 --> 01:09:45,500 senses. What you see before you are exercises designed to set the spirit 629 01:09:45,500 --> 01:09:48,680 free from the bounds of the body. Yes, you understand? 630 01:09:50,350 --> 01:09:56,050 Well, I don't really know. Let me explain, Connie. Perhaps it will help in 631 01:09:56,050 --> 01:09:57,050 first lesson. 632 01:09:57,650 --> 01:10:04,610 For instance, that couple, excuse me, that couple over there, they are doing 633 01:10:04,610 --> 01:10:07,890 exercise known as the rigid nipple. 634 01:10:08,570 --> 01:10:10,510 Yeah, don't talk to the rigid nipple, huh? 635 01:10:15,530 --> 01:10:17,190 Connie! Yeah, that's right. 636 01:10:22,440 --> 01:10:28,560 Ah, and those people there, they are doing the Yoni Mitchell, the Yoni 637 01:10:28,560 --> 01:10:35,000 position. You notice the circular motion of both figures in perfect harmony. 638 01:10:36,120 --> 01:10:42,520 Oh, it is just, it is beautiful. It is true cosmic rhythm. 639 01:10:43,020 --> 01:10:46,800 Gosh. They are well on the path, those people there, yes. 640 01:10:47,460 --> 01:10:48,720 Path to where? 641 01:10:49,040 --> 01:10:50,320 The path, Candy. 642 01:10:51,000 --> 01:10:53,300 To infinite oneness. 643 01:10:53,920 --> 01:10:58,400 Mano. Oh, no, no, no. There we go. A very good one. 644 01:10:58,900 --> 01:11:03,520 That one there is known as the bacon, lotus, and tomato. 645 01:11:04,320 --> 01:11:07,700 Bacon, lotus, and tomato. You hold the mayo, huh? That's a joke. 646 01:11:08,960 --> 01:11:10,580 I don't get it. 647 01:11:20,620 --> 01:11:23,260 Let's see what we have here. We have many, many people here. 648 01:11:23,580 --> 01:11:24,580 Ah! 649 01:11:26,580 --> 01:11:27,600 Those people there. 650 01:11:28,780 --> 01:11:33,100 That is known as the Yang Bang. That is one of my very, very favorite ones. 651 01:11:54,760 --> 01:11:58,680 This is a new one. That is the Anita Orange. 652 01:11:59,000 --> 01:12:00,200 Anita Orange? 653 01:12:01,860 --> 01:12:02,860 Oh, 654 01:12:03,380 --> 01:12:04,860 they're well on the path. 655 01:12:08,640 --> 01:12:09,640 See? 656 01:12:10,240 --> 01:12:11,500 Would you like to see something? 657 01:12:11,880 --> 01:12:13,400 I'd like very much to show you. 658 01:12:14,080 --> 01:12:20,660 All these people here can achieve true cosmic consciousness at the very snap of 659 01:12:20,660 --> 01:12:21,660 a finger. 660 01:12:21,840 --> 01:12:22,779 They can? 661 01:12:22,780 --> 01:12:24,840 Yes, you believe me. I'll show you what. 662 01:12:28,260 --> 01:12:29,880 Oh, gosh! 663 01:12:31,300 --> 01:12:32,300 Aha! 664 01:12:43,760 --> 01:12:46,720 Truly, Candy, the path is very, very difficult. 665 01:12:46,960 --> 01:12:49,880 Many choose, very few arrive. 666 01:12:51,020 --> 01:12:52,220 Have they arrived? 667 01:12:53,200 --> 01:12:55,520 Oh, no, my child, no. 668 01:12:56,640 --> 01:12:58,060 They have not arrived. 669 01:12:58,360 --> 01:12:59,860 They have come. 670 01:13:00,540 --> 01:13:02,260 See? Oh. 671 01:13:16,600 --> 01:13:20,260 Come this way, my little fig leaf. Come with me. 672 01:13:23,500 --> 01:13:28,800 There is a very, very special place here which I go to do my most intense 673 01:13:28,800 --> 01:13:30,420 meditation. There is? 674 01:13:31,020 --> 01:13:34,740 Yes, yes, there is. And I would like very much if you would come with me. 675 01:13:34,960 --> 01:13:35,960 You do? Yes. 676 01:13:50,660 --> 01:13:51,660 Very nice. 677 01:13:52,540 --> 01:13:59,480 Now. The first thing we must do is to shed our bodies of 678 01:13:59,480 --> 01:14:01,460 all worldly apparel. 679 01:14:01,960 --> 01:14:03,600 Are you sure? 680 01:14:04,040 --> 01:14:08,340 Candy? I am very, very sure, yes. 681 01:14:10,380 --> 01:14:11,880 Now, don't come. 682 01:14:22,600 --> 01:14:23,600 Now lay down. 683 01:14:24,020 --> 01:14:29,060 Lay down. Lay down flat. 684 01:14:30,180 --> 01:14:36,720 Now, spread your legs and you must lace your fingers behind 685 01:14:36,720 --> 01:14:39,500 your head in true yoga fashion. 686 01:14:43,040 --> 01:14:47,860 Henry, you must trust me. I am the guiding spirit of your soul. 687 01:14:48,280 --> 01:14:51,480 I have no desire for your body. 688 01:14:52,200 --> 01:14:57,140 It is your spirit that concerns me. 689 01:14:57,480 --> 01:14:58,680 I understand. 690 01:15:00,860 --> 01:15:02,040 Very good. 691 01:15:02,260 --> 01:15:03,260 Very nice. 692 01:15:06,280 --> 01:15:11,780 Now I will teach you the first lesson in spiritual awareness. 693 01:15:13,200 --> 01:15:20,160 You will learn to soar above your bodily senses and fly 694 01:15:20,160 --> 01:15:21,200 with your spirit. 695 01:15:21,800 --> 01:15:22,800 Trusting. 696 01:15:24,060 --> 01:15:29,340 Now, Candy, this is a mystic zone. 697 01:15:31,140 --> 01:15:32,280 Feels good, yes? 698 01:15:32,820 --> 01:15:35,920 Now, this is another mystic zone. 699 01:15:36,680 --> 01:15:41,640 And this is also a mystic zone. 700 01:15:41,980 --> 01:15:47,280 Ah, Candy, you're very, very wet mystic zone down there. 701 01:15:48,580 --> 01:15:49,580 Love. 702 01:15:50,220 --> 01:15:51,660 Lovely child, yes. 703 01:15:53,120 --> 01:15:54,580 Relax and trust me. 704 01:15:58,600 --> 01:16:00,320 I think he should be still. 705 01:16:03,800 --> 01:16:07,160 Oh, my goodness. 706 01:16:09,900 --> 01:16:11,560 You're a very sweet child. 707 01:16:28,620 --> 01:16:29,620 Do you like that candy? 708 01:16:30,760 --> 01:16:31,679 Tell me. 709 01:16:31,680 --> 01:16:36,360 Well, I... Sure. 710 01:16:44,800 --> 01:16:46,740 Are you sure this is the way? 711 01:16:59,660 --> 01:17:00,660 Mistake zones. 712 01:17:01,560 --> 01:17:02,560 All over. 713 01:17:03,720 --> 01:17:08,420 Now, you are ready for another lesson. 714 01:17:10,700 --> 01:17:17,580 One must be fully aware of one's senses in order 715 01:17:17,580 --> 01:17:19,580 to control them. 716 01:17:20,780 --> 01:17:27,540 Now, for example, you will notice that I have erected my penis. It is stout and 717 01:17:27,540 --> 01:17:28,540 stiff. 718 01:17:28,580 --> 01:17:30,300 Oh, no, don't be deceived. No. 719 01:17:30,940 --> 01:17:32,860 It is just an illusion. 720 01:17:34,500 --> 01:17:41,040 Without any material desire whatsoever, I have managed an election. 721 01:17:42,220 --> 01:17:43,340 Go ahead. Touch it. 722 01:17:43,820 --> 01:17:44,820 Squeeze it. Go ahead. 723 01:17:52,760 --> 01:17:54,480 That's fine. Now, touch it some more. Yes. 724 01:17:56,460 --> 01:17:57,680 Gosh, that's amazing. 725 01:17:58,510 --> 01:18:00,430 Squeeze it. Squeeze it, Candy! 726 01:18:02,510 --> 01:18:05,090 You see? 727 01:18:07,270 --> 01:18:13,430 Now, you remember those people before? We do an exercise in cosmic 728 01:18:13,430 --> 01:18:16,310 rhythm, like you saw those people do. 729 01:18:18,030 --> 01:18:19,030 Gosh! 730 01:21:09,959 --> 01:21:16,480 I will demonstrate yet one more mystical power to you. Not only do I have 731 01:21:16,480 --> 01:21:23,170 complete... control over my bodily senses, but over my glandular ones as 732 01:23:10,119 --> 01:23:11,240 Good grief! 733 01:23:12,280 --> 01:23:13,500 It's Danny! 734 01:23:14,820 --> 01:23:15,820 Good grief! 735 01:23:15,960 --> 01:23:20,340 Don't leave now. I've got some scenes from my new film, Candy Goes to 736 01:23:20,620 --> 01:23:22,380 that I'm sure you won't want to miss. 737 01:23:25,340 --> 01:23:30,580 Well, our dear sweet Candy no sooner arrives in Hollywood than she meets 738 01:23:30,580 --> 01:23:36,360 Dorff, actor's agent, star maker, hypnotist, and whatever else need be. 739 01:23:36,840 --> 01:23:40,940 He knows talent when he sees it and decides to give her some voice lessons 740 01:23:40,940 --> 01:23:45,740 her appearance on the Chuck Bearass Dong Show. On the Dong Show, Candy meets 741 01:23:45,740 --> 01:23:49,300 Wendy Williams, who has a very unusual talent. 742 01:23:50,020 --> 01:23:55,500 After being awarded first prize by the celebrity panel consisting of Rex P., J 743 01:23:55,500 --> 01:24:00,440 .P. Organ, and Jamie Close, Chuck Bearass gives Candy the rest of her 744 01:24:00,960 --> 01:24:03,960 Chuck tells his friend Johnny Farson about Candy. 745 01:24:04,320 --> 01:24:07,700 And Farson immediately lines her up for a spot on his show. 746 01:24:08,100 --> 01:24:12,580 Fascinated by Candy's natural assets, Johnny rehearses some lines with her in 747 01:24:12,580 --> 01:24:13,580 his dressing room. 748 01:24:13,620 --> 01:24:15,760 There's no business like show business. 749 01:24:16,060 --> 01:24:20,500 Doing his job like a good agent should, Johnny Door Opener gets Candy an 750 01:24:20,500 --> 01:24:22,520 audition with a big Hollywood producer. 751 01:24:22,960 --> 01:24:25,500 He naturally has to give her a screen test. 752 01:24:26,560 --> 01:24:31,520 And the story wouldn't be complete without the glitter of a Hollywood 753 01:24:32,030 --> 01:24:33,810 Here Candy meets all the stars. 754 01:24:34,410 --> 01:24:41,310 Rocky Stallion, Sarah Dawson, Chuck Berat, Ed the Man, J .P. Organ, and 755 01:24:41,310 --> 01:24:42,990 all the rest of Johnny Starless. 756 01:24:43,210 --> 01:24:47,890 If you like erotic adventures of Candy, you'll love Candy Goes to Hollywood. 757 01:24:48,190 --> 01:24:53,450 Carol Connors once again melts your screen as Candy. I'm sure you won't want 758 01:24:53,450 --> 01:24:58,210 miss this action -packed, star -studded episode in Candy's life as she continues 759 01:24:58,210 --> 01:24:59,970 her adventures in Hollywood. 760 01:25:09,840 --> 01:25:11,780 Someone you don't know. 761 01:25:12,880 --> 01:25:14,720 It's really crazy. 762 01:25:16,820 --> 01:25:21,180 Sandy makes you feel so sandy. 763 01:25:21,460 --> 01:25:25,600 But if you ask, she's all right.