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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:06,004 This programme contains some strong language and some scenes of a sexual nature. 2 00:00:06,004 --> 00:00:08,076 You watch me. I'll be back.She is a monster.I think she's brilliant. 3 00:00:08,076 --> 00:00:11,048 She's calling him Lincoln. Congratulations, Great-Grandmother. 4 00:00:11,048 --> 00:00:12,068 These people are refugees, 5 00:00:12,068 --> 00:00:14,060 which means they're allowed to seek asylum. 6 00:00:14,060 --> 00:00:17,004 My name is Viktor. Viktor Goraya. 7 00:00:17,004 --> 00:00:18,064 I'm transhuman. 8 00:00:18,064 --> 00:00:21,024 I'm going to escape this thing and become digital. 9 00:00:21,024 --> 00:00:22,032 Come back to bed. 10 00:00:22,032 --> 00:00:23,084 You have sex with your robot! 11 00:00:23,084 --> 00:00:25,020 Darling! Darling! 12 00:00:28,032 --> 00:00:31,080 America, they've fired a nuclear missile. 13 00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:33,028 NUCLEAR EXPLOSION 14 00:00:33,028 --> 00:00:34,088 What happens now?! 15 00:00:50,048 --> 00:00:52,032 ALARM RINGS IN DISTANCE 16 00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:56,092 All right, stop! 17 00:00:58,012 --> 00:01:01,080 You can stop the alarm, thank you. 18 00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:03,068 Oh, God. I give up. 19 00:01:06,068 --> 00:01:07,092 Signor! 20 00:01:09,004 --> 00:01:12,004 You can stop the alarm, Signor! 21 00:01:12,004 --> 00:01:14,064 SIGNOR: Alarm stopped. Thank you. 22 00:01:14,064 --> 00:01:17,036 The last time we had an alarm in this kitchen, we all thought 23 00:01:17,036 --> 00:01:20,012 the world was coming to an end, so that's quite enough. 24 00:01:20,012 --> 00:01:24,032 Do you wish to be reminded of the reason for the alarm? 25 00:01:24,032 --> 00:01:26,008 Oh, well, yes. 26 00:01:26,008 --> 00:01:27,044 I was coming to that. 27 00:01:27,044 --> 00:01:29,096 The alarm is a reminder for Edith Lyons... 28 00:01:29,096 --> 00:01:32,068 SHE GASPS Oh, yes! Yes! 29 00:01:32,068 --> 00:01:33,076 Call the family. 30 00:01:35,004 --> 00:01:37,036 Oh, I know. Calling family link. 31 00:01:37,036 --> 00:01:39,092 Is that right?Calling family link. 32 00:01:39,092 --> 00:01:42,036 We're all here, Gran. We're waiting. 33 00:01:42,036 --> 00:01:43,052 It's a big moment. 34 00:01:43,052 --> 00:01:45,020 Some of us have got work to do. 35 00:01:45,020 --> 00:01:48,076 Happy as ever, Celeste.It's lovely to hear your voice, Muriel. 36 00:01:48,076 --> 00:01:51,036 Where are the boys? Are they with us? Dan, are you on the link? 37 00:01:51,036 --> 00:01:53,024 Yeah, yeah, I'm here. I'm here. 38 00:01:53,024 --> 00:01:56,076 Hey! What are you doing? No, no, no, no! We're not... No! 39 00:01:56,076 --> 00:01:59,036 LAUGHTER Just don't! 40 00:01:59,036 --> 00:02:01,044 I'm glad we haven't got vision. 41 00:02:01,044 --> 00:02:03,024 Are you with us, Rosie? 42 00:02:03,024 --> 00:02:06,052 I keep telling the boys we all used to watch TV on Saturday mornings. 43 00:02:06,052 --> 00:02:09,008 Doesn't exist any more. Well, this is better than cartoons. 44 00:02:09,008 --> 00:02:10,032 Shush! She's on! 45 00:02:10,032 --> 00:02:12,088 ON TV:We can interview someone who was actually a witness 46 00:02:12,088 --> 00:02:17,056 to that terrible event on Hong Sha, political activist Edith Lyons. 47 00:02:17,056 --> 00:02:19,028 Tell me a little bit about that time. 48 00:02:19,028 --> 00:02:23,084 Oh. Six months ago, we all thought we were going to die... 49 00:02:23,084 --> 00:02:26,000 That's what I just said. Shush, Gran! 50 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:28,064 ..and then we realised the day after Hiroshima, what happened - 51 00:02:28,064 --> 00:02:30,024 sun came up, people got out of bed, 52 00:02:30,024 --> 00:02:34,040 they went to work, a nuclear bomb exploded, 53 00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:36,080 and the West just carried on. 54 00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:40,080 And China backed down, but with 45,000 dead. 55 00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:43,048 And that's why we need these sanctions against America. 56 00:02:43,048 --> 00:02:47,000 They turned a trade war into an actual war. 57 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,044 She doesn't understand a thing. 58 00:02:48,044 --> 00:02:50,004 And who pays the price? Me. 59 00:02:50,004 --> 00:02:51,044 Your auntie's an idiot. 60 00:02:51,044 --> 00:02:53,064 You were in Vietnam. Is that right? 61 00:02:53,064 --> 00:02:58,024 For the explosion. Then we took a ship and we sailed towards Hong Sha. 62 00:02:58,024 --> 00:03:01,032 We took this footage with drones. 63 00:03:01,032 --> 00:03:02,076 Look - there were people! 64 00:03:02,076 --> 00:03:06,060 The bomb goes off and that's all they leave behind, is the shadow. 65 00:03:06,060 --> 00:03:08,020 What's she like? Edith? 66 00:03:09,028 --> 00:03:10,064 Bit serious. 67 00:03:10,064 --> 00:03:15,012 Yeah, but when you were kids. Yeah. Serious even then. 68 00:03:15,012 --> 00:03:17,012 I don't know. She's older than I am. 69 00:03:17,012 --> 00:03:19,012 She was more friends with Stephen, really. 70 00:03:19,012 --> 00:03:21,060 We went Interrailing once, but 71 00:03:21,060 --> 00:03:24,036 she wanted to sleep on beaches and go to markets 72 00:03:24,036 --> 00:03:26,028 and find things to smoke. 73 00:03:26,028 --> 00:03:28,020 I just wanted a nice hotel. 74 00:03:28,020 --> 00:03:29,092 Is she rich? 75 00:03:29,092 --> 00:03:32,024 I'd like to know. Why do you think? 76 00:03:32,024 --> 00:03:34,096 Cos she's famous. Not really. 77 00:03:34,096 --> 00:03:37,088 This is Channel India. There must be five of us watching. 78 00:03:37,088 --> 00:03:39,032 She lives on a boat. 79 00:03:39,032 --> 00:03:42,008 Yeah, but there's like 15 onboard. Bet it's stinking. 80 00:03:42,008 --> 00:03:46,068 If I could ask, what's the range of your drones?What does that matter? 81 00:03:46,068 --> 00:03:50,040 We estimate they've got a range of five miles, so... 82 00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:53,072 So you took your ship five miles off the coast of Hong Sha 83 00:03:53,072 --> 00:03:56,040 within two days of the explosion? 84 00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:58,092 What?She said 50 miles. 85 00:03:58,092 --> 00:04:00,076 She said she was safe. 86 00:04:00,076 --> 00:04:03,068 Were you poisoned by radiation? 87 00:04:03,068 --> 00:04:06,024 I think you should focus on the victims within China itself. 88 00:04:06,024 --> 00:04:09,008 We calculate, at the very least, you were exposed to 89 00:04:09,008 --> 00:04:13,016 one gray of radiation, so the damage has been done. 90 00:04:13,016 --> 00:04:17,024 You might have limited your lifespan to another 20 years. 91 00:04:17,024 --> 00:04:19,008 So? That could take me to 60. 92 00:04:20,016 --> 00:04:21,028 Then it's true. 93 00:04:24,076 --> 00:04:25,088 Yeah. 94 00:04:25,088 --> 00:04:27,092 She tells us on TV?! 95 00:04:27,092 --> 00:04:29,068 Oh, my God, she's an idiot! 96 00:04:29,068 --> 00:04:32,032 Gran, stop watching! Turn it off. 97 00:04:32,032 --> 00:04:36,092 Signor, call Edith Lyons now. End link. Calling Edith Lyons. 98 00:04:36,092 --> 00:04:39,076 Is she dying? Is Auntie Edith dying? 99 00:04:39,076 --> 00:04:42,000 Hm? Eventually. 100 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:45,000 VOICE MAIL:This is Edith's phone. Leave a message. 101 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:46,088 Edith, we're all watching. 102 00:04:46,088 --> 00:04:48,052 You promised me you were safe. 103 00:04:48,052 --> 00:04:50,040 Yeah, thanks very much, Edith. 104 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:53,004 What a way to let us know, eh, on TV? 105 00:04:55,008 --> 00:04:57,056 Gran? You OK? 106 00:04:57,056 --> 00:05:00,024 OK. That might be true, but never mind me. 107 00:05:00,024 --> 00:05:04,008 Hong Sha Dao will have consequences for all of us, 108 00:05:04,008 --> 00:05:08,012 and it terrifies me because the world keeps getting hotter 109 00:05:08,012 --> 00:05:11,012 and faster and madder, and we don't pause. 110 00:05:11,012 --> 00:05:13,000 We don't think. We don't learn. 111 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:15,020 We just keep racing to the next disaster, 112 00:05:15,020 --> 00:05:17,024 and I keep wondering what's next. 113 00:05:17,024 --> 00:05:20,020 Where are we going? When's it ever going to stop? 114 00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:23,028 President Pence has defied the United Nations. 115 00:05:23,028 --> 00:05:25,008 But we're making it worse. 116 00:05:25,008 --> 00:05:28,048 The more we impose sanctions, the more America swings to the right. 117 00:05:28,048 --> 00:05:30,052 OK. Putin - president for life. 118 00:05:30,052 --> 00:05:32,048 Xi Jinping - president for life. 119 00:05:32,048 --> 00:05:35,020 And now Pence - just a puppet. Trump is still in charge. 120 00:05:35,020 --> 00:05:37,088 These old men are in power forever. 121 00:05:40,060 --> 00:05:43,004 CHEERING 122 00:05:43,004 --> 00:05:45,012 Remind us what charities you've been playing for. 123 00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:47,080 Mine's a children's hospice in Coventry. 124 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:51,080 And mine's to build a statue for all the horses killed in World War I. 125 00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:54,056 The bird population across Britain has fallen by 50%, 126 00:05:54,056 --> 00:05:57,004 because the insect population has fallen by 80%. 127 00:05:57,004 --> 00:05:58,072 That's 80% in 30 years. 128 00:06:02,004 --> 00:06:05,036 # Happy birthday to you... # 129 00:06:05,036 --> 00:06:08,024 CHEERING 130 00:06:08,024 --> 00:06:11,092 So that's it. I'm out of work. My bosses are basically Americans. 131 00:06:11,092 --> 00:06:14,020 With all these sanctions, they're going to withdraw. 132 00:06:14,020 --> 00:06:16,020 You'll get a payoff, though. They're saying no. 133 00:06:16,020 --> 00:06:18,048 They're saying, "Take us to court. Tough!" 134 00:06:18,048 --> 00:06:21,056 I need to free up some capital, so we'll have to sell this house. 135 00:06:21,056 --> 00:06:24,012 We're downsizing. We just need somewhere small. 136 00:06:24,012 --> 00:06:26,028 I'm not moving! I'm not! 137 00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:31,072 It's a phenomenon that's being called "Towntime". 138 00:06:31,072 --> 00:06:34,048 The 2000s saw a huge move to work from home, 139 00:06:34,048 --> 00:06:36,096 but people at home basically eat and masturbate. 140 00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:39,024 So, Towntime calls for a return to the office job - 141 00:06:39,024 --> 00:06:41,004 Monday morning, 9am. 142 00:06:42,032 --> 00:06:48,008 It's my honour to declare the drone park officially open! 143 00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:49,076 APPLAUSE, DRONES BUZZ 144 00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:52,040 Good luck! Bon voyage! 145 00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:54,028 Don't go to my house! 146 00:06:54,028 --> 00:06:56,016 I'm not in! 147 00:06:56,016 --> 00:07:00,024 As MP to the Northern Powerhouse, I promise that for every job lost, 148 00:07:00,024 --> 00:07:02,000 there will be a job gained. 149 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:05,036 This fleet of drones will be the pride of Manchester. 150 00:07:05,036 --> 00:07:06,072 As you can see... 151 00:07:06,072 --> 00:07:08,072 SCREAMING 152 00:07:10,044 --> 00:07:13,060 Oh, my God! Have you just seen? My MP's been decapitated! 153 00:07:13,060 --> 00:07:16,076 It's terrible news about Archie, 154 00:07:16,076 --> 00:07:19,060 but I can't help feeling it's symbolic. 155 00:07:19,060 --> 00:07:21,084 I hereby declare, with the greatest of respect, 156 00:07:21,084 --> 00:07:26,004 that I will be standing in the by-election for his constituency. 157 00:07:26,004 --> 00:07:27,092 Seriously? 158 00:07:27,092 --> 00:07:30,012 I'm watching her now - Viv Rook. 159 00:07:30,012 --> 00:07:31,064 So, she's going to be my MP? 160 00:07:31,064 --> 00:07:33,060 No, she isn't. I told you. 161 00:07:33,060 --> 00:07:35,076 Don't you dare vote for her. 162 00:07:35,076 --> 00:07:38,036 I will give you money not to vote. 163 00:07:38,036 --> 00:07:40,012 All right, then. That's a deal. 164 00:07:40,012 --> 00:07:42,084 Right, got to go. Pay me in cash. Bye! 165 00:07:42,084 --> 00:07:46,004 You know she owns us, don't you? Viv Rook? 166 00:07:46,004 --> 00:07:48,092 Now they've privatised housing, we're part of Stonerock Holdings. 167 00:07:48,092 --> 00:07:50,028 And on the board... 168 00:07:50,028 --> 00:07:51,076 COMPUTER BEEPS 169 00:07:53,072 --> 00:07:56,028 Oh, my God - she's my boss! 170 00:07:56,028 --> 00:07:58,020 This is my chance at last... 171 00:07:59,016 --> 00:08:03,048 ..to honour my country and to serve it. 172 00:08:03,048 --> 00:08:05,096 KNOCK ON WINDOW 173 00:08:07,052 --> 00:08:09,088 Your greenhouse, it's not very safe. 174 00:08:09,088 --> 00:08:11,012 SHE CHUCKLES 175 00:08:11,012 --> 00:08:14,000 People have been saying that for years. 176 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:15,096 I got a man in to look at it, 177 00:08:15,096 --> 00:08:17,080 but part of it fell on his head. 178 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:19,024 He never came back. 179 00:08:19,024 --> 00:08:21,000 You should be careful, though. 180 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:25,044 Viktor, all of the money in this house was my father's. 181 00:08:25,044 --> 00:08:28,084 And he lost it in 1976. 182 00:08:28,084 --> 00:08:33,000 We haven't been able to afford this place ever since. 183 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:36,020 Let it rot - gently. 184 00:08:36,020 --> 00:08:37,024 I'll survive. 185 00:08:38,060 --> 00:08:41,044 Dan said about your parents... 186 00:08:42,064 --> 00:08:46,072 Yeah...they reported you to the police. 187 00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:50,088 In fairness, they thought it was their duty. 188 00:08:50,088 --> 00:08:52,060 They're Christians. 189 00:08:52,060 --> 00:08:54,052 I mean, it genuinely hurts them. 190 00:08:54,052 --> 00:08:56,000 Do you forgive them? 191 00:08:57,028 --> 00:08:58,056 I have to try. 192 00:08:58,056 --> 00:08:59,060 Rubbish. 193 00:09:00,068 --> 00:09:02,036 They're disgusting. 194 00:09:02,036 --> 00:09:06,080 Your mother and father are disgusting people. Is that clear? 195 00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:09,012 I'm not without prejudice myself. 196 00:09:09,012 --> 00:09:11,072 I don't like Londoners. 197 00:09:11,072 --> 00:09:15,056 And I don't like people who wear sunglasses indoors. 198 00:09:15,056 --> 00:09:16,060 But you... 199 00:09:17,060 --> 00:09:19,052 ..you're beautiful - 200 00:09:19,052 --> 00:09:22,096 in the eyes of Christ and in the eyes of myself. 201 00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:27,060 Is that clear? Have you got that? 202 00:09:27,060 --> 00:09:32,056 Yes.And you're very welcome here for the rest of your life. 203 00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:37,064 Oh, don't cry! 204 00:09:37,064 --> 00:09:39,072 You're not going to get a hug or anything. 205 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:43,028 Thank you. 206 00:09:43,028 --> 00:09:45,076 I thought this would be nice - just the two of us. 207 00:09:45,076 --> 00:09:48,016 Hey, now that you're working, we can be ladies who lunch. 208 00:09:48,016 --> 00:09:51,064 That's great. Thanks very much. Can I take a drinks order? 209 00:09:51,064 --> 00:09:54,008 We'll just have a look. Give us a couple of minutes? 210 00:09:57,096 --> 00:10:01,000 I want you to explain. Your dad said you offered to pay rent, 211 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:03,008 but there really is no need, honestly. 212 00:10:03,008 --> 00:10:05,008 I've got work until the autumn. 213 00:10:05,008 --> 00:10:07,088 Height of Essence isn't pulling out until October, 214 00:10:07,088 --> 00:10:09,028 so there's no emergency. 215 00:10:09,028 --> 00:10:12,064 We won't starve. And after that... 216 00:10:12,064 --> 00:10:16,028 Well... Well, maybe you can give me advice. 217 00:10:16,028 --> 00:10:20,032 When I went to university, they said accountancy was a job for life. 218 00:10:20,032 --> 00:10:22,020 But now - thanks to your lot - 219 00:10:22,020 --> 00:10:25,036 artificial intelligence can do my job in one second flat. 220 00:10:25,036 --> 00:10:29,080 I'm going to be quite literally redundant in every way. 221 00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:31,076 Will you call me?Sorry? 222 00:10:31,076 --> 00:10:33,052 Will you call me? You mean telephone you? 223 00:10:33,052 --> 00:10:35,044 Yes. When?Now. 224 00:10:35,044 --> 00:10:38,052 But you're sitting right here. This is why I wanted to have lunch. 225 00:10:38,052 --> 00:10:40,036 Will you just phone me? Now? 226 00:10:42,072 --> 00:10:45,008 PHONE RINGS 227 00:10:47,012 --> 00:10:49,068 Hello, Bethany speaking.Hello. 228 00:10:49,068 --> 00:10:51,076 Are you phoning for Bethany?Yes. 229 00:10:51,076 --> 00:10:54,028 What are you doing?This is Bethany. Can you hear me? 230 00:10:54,028 --> 00:10:55,080 Well, you're right in front of me. 231 00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:58,004 But can you hear me down the phone? 232 00:11:00,068 --> 00:11:02,012 Oh, my gosh! 233 00:11:02,012 --> 00:11:04,008 This is me, on the phone. 234 00:11:04,008 --> 00:11:07,068 I had it implanted. My hand is the phone. 235 00:11:07,068 --> 00:11:13,000 I can walk, and talk, cos I'm on the phone - the phone inside my hand. 236 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:14,096 I am the phone. 237 00:11:14,096 --> 00:11:17,040 This is what phones are going to be from now on. 238 00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:18,088 I have integrated. 239 00:11:20,036 --> 00:11:21,064 Thank you for your call. 240 00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:30,032 Subdermal implants. 241 00:11:30,032 --> 00:11:33,052 They charge themselves with motion like a self-winding watch. 242 00:11:33,052 --> 00:11:35,000 And it's on the 22 network. 243 00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:38,076 I get signal across 95% of UK mainland, 98 by next year. 244 00:11:38,076 --> 00:11:40,068 When I phoned you, it was ringing. 245 00:11:40,068 --> 00:11:42,016 YOU were ringing. 246 00:11:42,016 --> 00:11:43,092 That's the speaker. 247 00:11:43,092 --> 00:11:46,040 So small!OK, but... 248 00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:47,080 When did you get this done? 249 00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:51,036 That course in Winchester? I had one finger done every night. 250 00:11:51,036 --> 00:11:55,088 I still need to choose a handset, to phone out. Look. 251 00:11:55,088 --> 00:11:58,012 PHONE RINGS 252 00:11:58,012 --> 00:11:59,032 Hello? 253 00:11:59,032 --> 00:12:01,012 Hi! 254 00:12:01,012 --> 00:12:05,060 OK. But, look, I can't believe you had surgery without telling me! 255 00:12:05,060 --> 00:12:07,080 Skinplants - not surgery. 256 00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:09,052 And I knew you'd be cross. 257 00:12:09,052 --> 00:12:11,084 But I'm 18, and you had that tattoo when you were 18, 258 00:12:11,084 --> 00:12:14,008 and it's the same sort of thing. 259 00:12:14,008 --> 00:12:15,096 And I wanted to ask you... 260 00:12:17,008 --> 00:12:19,080 Will you do me a favour?What? 261 00:12:21,048 --> 00:12:23,036 Will you tell Dad?Oh, sweet.... 262 00:12:23,036 --> 00:12:25,044 Please, will you tell Dad for me? 263 00:12:39,044 --> 00:12:40,068 Good evening. 264 00:12:42,016 --> 00:12:44,004 Good evening, sir. 265 00:12:44,004 --> 00:12:47,032 Can I get a litre of non milk? Thanks. 266 00:12:50,056 --> 00:12:53,008 Anything else?Er... 267 00:12:53,008 --> 00:12:54,068 Thought a shag might be nice. 268 00:12:54,068 --> 00:12:56,028 Nothing I can do about that, sir. 269 00:12:56,028 --> 00:12:57,092 Oh! 270 00:12:57,092 --> 00:13:00,036 Well, I'll just go home all alone, then. 271 00:13:00,036 --> 00:13:02,096 Well, you're a bit ugly, sir. 272 00:13:04,092 --> 00:13:07,092 I am.It's very sad. 273 00:13:07,092 --> 00:13:09,016 Goodnight, sir. 274 00:13:10,064 --> 00:13:11,080 Goodnight. 275 00:13:16,068 --> 00:13:18,076 MOANING 276 00:13:21,004 --> 00:13:24,076 THEY LAUGH All right... What are you doing? Ah! 277 00:13:24,076 --> 00:13:26,044 Get off! Get off! 278 00:13:26,044 --> 00:13:28,028 Yeah. Go on, go on, go on. You want it?Yeah. 279 00:13:28,028 --> 00:13:30,076 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah... CRASHING 280 00:13:30,076 --> 00:13:33,028 HE LAUGHS 281 00:13:33,028 --> 00:13:35,060 MOANING, LAUGHTER 282 00:13:37,028 --> 00:13:40,096 ON TV:And next month, it will be one year since Hong Sha Dao, 283 00:13:40,096 --> 00:13:43,044 and the shock waves continue around the world - 284 00:13:43,044 --> 00:13:46,080 with instability still rocking the banking system. 285 00:14:00,012 --> 00:14:01,064 Thanks, but I'm not stopping. 286 00:14:01,064 --> 00:14:05,000 I haven't got long. I'm supposed to be on lunch duty, so... 287 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:06,004 Well, there it is. 288 00:14:07,052 --> 00:14:11,000 Yeah. Didn't even miss it. It only cost 20 quid, that. 289 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:13,064 You're the only man I know with ten different watches. 290 00:14:13,064 --> 00:14:16,072 You don't wear the same shirt... BOTH:..all the time, do you? 291 00:14:19,028 --> 00:14:20,080 So how are things? OK? 292 00:14:21,084 --> 00:14:24,008 Yeah, not bad. Nice and busy. 293 00:14:25,096 --> 00:14:29,020 What about you? Hm? How is he? The boy? 294 00:14:29,020 --> 00:14:31,024 He's only six years younger. 295 00:14:31,024 --> 00:14:33,016 That is so hot!Oh, stop it. 296 00:14:40,012 --> 00:14:43,024 I just thought if you could sign those papers. 297 00:14:43,024 --> 00:14:45,060 We're trying to get Viktor this Leave to Remain thing. 298 00:14:45,060 --> 00:14:47,012 And if I'm divorced, it might help. 299 00:14:47,012 --> 00:14:50,032 I was honestly bringing you the watch...Dan! 300 00:14:50,032 --> 00:14:54,040 You shat on me - in front of everyone. Remember? 301 00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:57,052 So I don't have the slightest wish to stay married to you, OK? 302 00:14:58,064 --> 00:14:59,076 I'll sign it. 303 00:15:01,008 --> 00:15:02,060 Sorry. 304 00:15:07,052 --> 00:15:09,004 It's almost a year ago now. 305 00:15:09,004 --> 00:15:11,012 Well, two weeks' time. 306 00:15:11,012 --> 00:15:13,060 Gran's still insisting on a party. 307 00:15:13,060 --> 00:15:15,080 That's one thing I won't miss. 308 00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:17,080 Standing there freezing politely. 309 00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:20,032 I keep telling her, it's not just her birthday weekend now - 310 00:15:20,032 --> 00:15:23,056 it's commemorating 40,000 dead. 311 00:15:23,056 --> 00:15:25,040 And it's a barbecue.Yeah, I know. 312 00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:26,096 THEY LAUGH 313 00:15:29,020 --> 00:15:30,040 HE LAUGHS 314 00:15:31,088 --> 00:15:34,004 So what's the status now then, hmm? 315 00:15:34,004 --> 00:15:36,040 HE SPEAKS WITH ACCENT: Viktor. My name is Viktor. 316 00:15:38,032 --> 00:15:41,000 Still classified as an asylum seeker. That hasn't changed. 317 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:44,000 What, and he's allowed to live with you?Yep. 318 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:46,016 Mm-hm. 319 00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:50,020 The house is a mess now. It would drive you mad. 320 00:15:51,036 --> 00:15:53,048 HE SPEAKS WITH ACCENT: Viktor! 321 00:15:55,056 --> 00:15:58,000 It's still tough. He's not allowed a job or anything. 322 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,040 I mean, he's working part time to stop him going mad, 323 00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:01,088 but it's all cash in hand. 324 00:16:01,088 --> 00:16:03,092 He's got a degree in economics, 325 00:16:03,092 --> 00:16:06,092 but he's stuck working in the petrol station. 326 00:16:06,092 --> 00:16:09,008 I tell you what, though. 327 00:16:09,008 --> 00:16:11,088 Do you know what the good thing is? 328 00:16:11,088 --> 00:16:14,024 He gets free pasties when the sell-by date is up. 329 00:16:14,024 --> 00:16:16,092 They give them away! Oh, you love pasties. 330 00:16:16,092 --> 00:16:19,076 I do! I get free pasties. 331 00:16:24,024 --> 00:16:27,048 Well, look. Um, I am glad you're happy. 332 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:31,068 Thank you. 333 00:16:31,068 --> 00:16:32,080 Really, I am. 334 00:16:34,092 --> 00:16:35,096 Thanks. 335 00:16:45,016 --> 00:16:49,048 Hiya. Sorry, my app's frozen. It's pump number two. Thanks. 336 00:16:49,048 --> 00:16:50,072 Uh-huh. 337 00:16:52,068 --> 00:16:55,000 £120. Thank you. 338 00:16:57,024 --> 00:16:58,088 Anything else, sir? 339 00:16:58,088 --> 00:17:00,032 No, that's everything. Thanks. 340 00:17:21,024 --> 00:17:24,024 This weekend will be marked by services up and down the country 341 00:17:24,024 --> 00:17:27,088 to remember Hong Sha Dao on the first anniversary of the explosion. 342 00:17:27,088 --> 00:17:31,020 And American embassies have been surrounded by crowds 343 00:17:31,020 --> 00:17:34,012 protesting at the events of this time last year. 344 00:17:34,012 --> 00:17:37,016 Campaigning will be suspended for the day. 345 00:17:38,036 --> 00:17:40,080 My thoughts and prayers 346 00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:42,032 are with Beijing. 347 00:17:44,004 --> 00:17:45,024 Hey! Happy Birthday. 348 00:17:45,024 --> 00:17:47,084 Although technically it's not till tomorrow, 349 00:17:47,084 --> 00:17:50,084 so if you don't survive the night, I'll have it back! 350 00:17:50,084 --> 00:17:54,072 Now then, sweetheart, if your mum and dad want to move house, 351 00:17:54,072 --> 00:17:57,012 you can always come and live here, can't you? 352 00:17:57,012 --> 00:17:59,012 Who loves you? I do. 353 00:17:59,012 --> 00:18:02,024 Oh, well, that helps enormously. Well done. 354 00:18:02,024 --> 00:18:04,004 Happy birthday, Muriel. 355 00:18:04,004 --> 00:18:06,036 Did you hear, Bethany got promoted? I didn't know that. 356 00:18:06,036 --> 00:18:10,032 Isn't that good?Marvellous - whatever that job is. 357 00:18:10,032 --> 00:18:11,072 She's data mining. 358 00:18:11,072 --> 00:18:14,040 Yeah, I know what it is, but I don't know what it is! 359 00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:15,096 I have a rule. 360 00:18:15,096 --> 00:18:18,052 No-one is allowed to stare at my daughter's hand. 361 00:18:18,052 --> 00:18:20,076 Beth, show me your hand. Right. Hand down again. 362 00:18:20,076 --> 00:18:23,004 That's it's. I've had enough of people staring. 363 00:18:23,004 --> 00:18:25,020 It turns out the calls are twice the price. 364 00:18:25,020 --> 00:18:27,020 You didn't ask about that. 365 00:18:27,020 --> 00:18:29,012 Where's Rosie? She's not here yet? 366 00:18:29,012 --> 00:18:32,060 She said she'd be late. Lincoln had a bit of a tum. 367 00:18:32,060 --> 00:18:36,008 Now I looked and looked and looked for chocolate, 368 00:18:36,008 --> 00:18:38,096 but you just can't find it any more. 369 00:18:38,096 --> 00:18:42,044 I thought, this year - no TV. 370 00:18:42,044 --> 00:18:44,080 Even when the boys arrive. 371 00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:50,020 TV off, because that thing scared us to death last year. 372 00:18:50,020 --> 00:18:53,048 I mean, let's be honest, it was terrifying. 373 00:18:53,048 --> 00:18:56,048 I actually thought I could see you all perish. 374 00:18:56,048 --> 00:18:59,088 My own family, right in front of me - 375 00:18:59,088 --> 00:19:03,068 so I might have said some silly things. 376 00:19:05,056 --> 00:19:08,056 I know I did - and I'm sorry. 377 00:19:08,056 --> 00:19:10,016 I'm sorry too. 378 00:19:18,032 --> 00:19:23,048 Well, now, maybe you won't need to stay away for a whole year. 379 00:19:23,048 --> 00:19:25,032 We didn't do it on purpose. 380 00:19:25,032 --> 00:19:27,004 Been busy, that's all. 381 00:19:27,004 --> 00:19:28,084 Oh. Stephen said not so busy. 382 00:19:31,052 --> 00:19:34,020 What about the house? Is there any news? 383 00:19:34,020 --> 00:19:38,036 Um, that Mr Yamagata liked it, so I think we've found a buyer. 384 00:19:38,036 --> 00:19:40,076 Hey, I was going to ask, do you think I should move my money 385 00:19:40,076 --> 00:19:42,024 with all this fuss about the banks? 386 00:19:42,024 --> 00:19:44,032 Er, financial advice off me costs £300 an hour, 387 00:19:44,032 --> 00:19:45,084 thank you very much. 388 00:19:45,084 --> 00:19:48,044 Nah, you should be all right. You haven't got 85 grand, have you? 389 00:19:48,044 --> 00:19:49,052 God, no. 390 00:19:49,052 --> 00:19:50,072 That'd be nice. 391 00:19:50,072 --> 00:19:53,008 Anything less than 85, you're insured by the government. 392 00:19:53,008 --> 00:19:54,088 So you should be fine. I said that'd be nice - 393 00:19:54,088 --> 00:19:56,060 not because I want him for his money. 394 00:19:56,060 --> 00:19:59,060 Just the sex. Endless sex. 395 00:19:59,060 --> 00:20:01,080 Thank you.Once you've been loved by a Lyons. 396 00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:03,064 Oh, my God! 397 00:20:03,064 --> 00:20:05,036 Is it bad, though - for the banks? 398 00:20:05,036 --> 00:20:07,076 It's these sanctions against America. It's ridiculous. 399 00:20:07,076 --> 00:20:10,060 Might as well take out sanctions against ourselves. 400 00:20:10,060 --> 00:20:14,024 We are American. Our business is American, our culture's American. 401 00:20:14,024 --> 00:20:16,004 We're certainly not European, are we? 402 00:20:16,004 --> 00:20:17,096 PHONE VIBRATES Oh. 403 00:20:17,096 --> 00:20:20,016 Oh. Here we go, Gran. 404 00:20:20,016 --> 00:20:22,044 That's Rosie.Right now, Muriel. Put that down. 405 00:20:22,044 --> 00:20:25,016 Let's go out and see her. Come on. 406 00:20:25,016 --> 00:20:28,036 She knows her way in. She's here every week. 407 00:20:28,036 --> 00:20:30,048 Come on! Let's go and say hello. Let's go, let's go. 408 00:20:30,048 --> 00:20:31,052 HE WHISTLES 409 00:20:33,024 --> 00:20:36,076 Hi, Gran! Hello.Here we are, then. 410 00:20:36,076 --> 00:20:37,080 Surprise! 411 00:20:39,064 --> 00:20:42,020 THEY LAUGH 412 00:20:42,020 --> 00:20:43,032 Oh! 413 00:20:43,032 --> 00:20:44,088 Aw! 414 00:20:44,088 --> 00:20:48,068 Oh, you silly girl! 415 00:20:48,068 --> 00:20:50,044 Oh! 416 00:20:50,044 --> 00:20:53,016 Your mother should be here. 417 00:20:54,048 --> 00:20:56,036 Careful - she's radioactive! 418 00:21:02,004 --> 00:21:03,040 All right, yeah. 419 00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:05,064 SHE LAUGHS 420 00:21:08,044 --> 00:21:11,092 We can't just have any old barbecue, not with Edith home. 421 00:21:11,092 --> 00:21:15,048 Let's make it nice and special. Oh, cos Edith's special. 422 00:21:15,048 --> 00:21:16,076 She's so special. 423 00:21:16,076 --> 00:21:17,084 We are just dirt. 424 00:21:17,084 --> 00:21:20,076 I love Edith more than anything in the world - don't you? 425 00:21:20,076 --> 00:21:22,096 You'll get a clip in a minute. 426 00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:28,000 Seven years. It's been ages. Does it feel weird being back? 427 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:30,004 Little bit, yeah. 428 00:21:30,004 --> 00:21:31,080 Viktor's nice. 429 00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:33,068 Sexy! 430 00:21:33,068 --> 00:21:36,032 Bethany's a bit odd. You know she wants be a robot. 431 00:21:36,032 --> 00:21:39,072 Mmm. Am I all right, staying at yours? 432 00:21:39,072 --> 00:21:41,020 Cos Gran says I can stay here. 433 00:21:41,020 --> 00:21:43,032 Oh, my God! You'd die in this place. 434 00:21:43,032 --> 00:21:46,004 Course you can. You can get to know the boys. 435 00:21:46,004 --> 00:21:48,044 How long for?Dunno. 436 00:21:48,044 --> 00:21:50,048 Not sailing off on a mission? 437 00:21:50,048 --> 00:21:54,028 Er, yeah. It's all gone a bit sour. It's so stupid. 438 00:21:55,044 --> 00:21:58,000 It's that footage we took at Hong Sha. 439 00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:00,068 People think we sold it for lots of money.Do they? 440 00:22:00,068 --> 00:22:01,072 That's terrible. 441 00:22:01,072 --> 00:22:05,016 Ah. Trouble is, some people on the boat think we should, 442 00:22:05,016 --> 00:22:08,012 so I might just step away and have a think. 443 00:22:08,012 --> 00:22:13,004 And it's weird. You know - this radiation...thing. 444 00:22:13,004 --> 00:22:15,012 You feeling all right, though? Yeah. 445 00:22:15,012 --> 00:22:16,060 But one day, the clock's ticking - 446 00:22:16,060 --> 00:22:19,044 maybe it's time I did something with my life instead of shouting. 447 00:22:19,044 --> 00:22:21,036 Just...not sure what. 448 00:22:22,060 --> 00:22:25,028 So come on, Edith. Tell me stories of the high seas. 449 00:22:25,028 --> 00:22:28,088 What's the best place you think you've been?Oh, don't do that! 450 00:22:28,088 --> 00:22:30,068 It's a bit like an interview, Gran. 451 00:22:30,068 --> 00:22:33,088 Well, I don't know where to start. You've been away for so long. 452 00:22:33,088 --> 00:22:37,088 You see online? The North Pole melted. Like, it's gone. 453 00:22:37,088 --> 00:22:41,048 You should tell people about that. Well, yes, I could - but I did. 454 00:22:41,048 --> 00:22:43,032 There's not much point any more. 455 00:22:43,032 --> 00:22:44,056 Oh, don't say that. 456 00:22:44,056 --> 00:22:47,076 No, but really, no, like, we keep saying you've got ten more years 457 00:22:47,076 --> 00:22:49,012 to sort out climate change, 458 00:22:49,012 --> 00:22:51,044 you've got ten more years to sort out flooding, 459 00:22:51,044 --> 00:22:53,060 you've got ten more years to sort out the rainforest. 460 00:22:53,060 --> 00:22:55,080 We've been saying that for 30 years. But it's too late. 461 00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:57,064 We've run out of time. Everyone knows it. 462 00:22:57,064 --> 00:23:01,092 You can recycle and campaign and go on marches. 463 00:23:01,092 --> 00:23:07,036 We ARE going to flood and burn and starve. 464 00:23:07,036 --> 00:23:13,016 And we won't die. I'm not saying that the human race is going to carry on living on plateaus. 465 00:23:13,016 --> 00:23:14,076 SHE LAUGHS 466 00:23:14,076 --> 00:23:18,004 Like shepherds - little villages, maybe with a computer in a hut - 467 00:23:18,004 --> 00:23:21,008 you can go and visit once a week, and then go back 468 00:23:21,008 --> 00:23:24,028 to growing your little patch of corn. 469 00:23:24,028 --> 00:23:27,088 You might be digging out some rocks and singing Elvis to yourself - 470 00:23:27,088 --> 00:23:30,032 or the Beatles - but you won't know who they are any more. 471 00:23:30,032 --> 00:23:32,008 Just folk songs from long ago. 472 00:23:34,016 --> 00:23:36,080 So nice to have you back. THEY LAUGH 473 00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:38,056 Edith! Don't listen, kids. 474 00:23:38,056 --> 00:23:40,036 I'm saying let's have fun. 475 00:23:40,036 --> 00:23:42,016 Sod it. Enjoy it now. 476 00:23:42,016 --> 00:23:44,056 Cos...I... 477 00:23:44,056 --> 00:23:46,056 ..got...this... 478 00:23:48,024 --> 00:23:49,092 ..in Japan! 479 00:23:49,092 --> 00:23:52,064 Slightly under the counter - it's that new synthetic alcohol. 480 00:23:52,064 --> 00:23:55,052 Oh, my God! It's supposed to be lethal. 481 00:23:55,052 --> 00:23:56,084 Yeah, but that's the point - 482 00:23:56,084 --> 00:23:59,024 that it's designed to cut out all the by-products, 483 00:23:59,024 --> 00:24:01,088 so you just get completely plastered with no hangover. 484 00:24:01,088 --> 00:24:05,060 Does it work?Well, Celeste - there's only one way to find out! 485 00:24:05,060 --> 00:24:08,096 INDISTINCT CHATTER 486 00:24:08,096 --> 00:24:11,016 # He drinks a whisky drink, he drinks a vodka drink 487 00:24:11,016 --> 00:24:13,048 # He drinks a lager drink, he drinks a cider drink 488 00:24:13,048 --> 00:24:15,076 # He sings the songs that remind him of the good times 489 00:24:15,076 --> 00:24:18,028 # He sings the songs that remind him of the best times 490 00:24:18,028 --> 00:24:21,032 # I get knocked down but I get up again 491 00:24:21,032 --> 00:24:23,016 # You are never gonna keep me down 492 00:24:23,016 --> 00:24:25,080 # I get knocked down, but I get up again 493 00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:27,080 # You are never gonna keep me down 494 00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:30,048 # I get knocked down, but I get up again 495 00:24:30,048 --> 00:24:32,044 # You are never gonna keep me down 496 00:24:32,044 --> 00:24:35,020 # I get knocked down, but I get up again 497 00:24:35,020 --> 00:24:36,084 # You are never gonna keep me down 498 00:24:37,096 --> 00:24:45,096 # Oh, Danny Boy, Danny Boy, Danny Boy 499 00:24:45,096 --> 00:24:48,092 # I get knocked down, but I get up again 500 00:24:48,092 --> 00:24:50,092 # You are never gonna keep me down 501 00:24:50,092 --> 00:24:53,044 # I get knocked down, but I get up again 502 00:24:53,044 --> 00:24:55,044 # You are never gonna keep me down 503 00:24:55,044 --> 00:24:57,092 # I get knocked down, but I get up again 504 00:24:57,092 --> 00:25:00,016 # You are never gonna keep me down 505 00:25:00,016 --> 00:25:02,060 # I get knocked down, but I get up again 506 00:25:02,060 --> 00:25:04,044 # You are never gonna keep me down 507 00:25:04,044 --> 00:25:07,028 # I get knocked down, but I get up again 508 00:25:07,028 --> 00:25:09,028 # You are never gonna keep me down 509 00:25:09,028 --> 00:25:11,092 # I get knocked down, but I get up again 510 00:25:11,092 --> 00:25:13,068 # You are never gonna keep me down 511 00:25:13,068 --> 00:25:14,072 # I get... # 512 00:25:34,048 --> 00:25:37,028 SHE SNORES LIGHTLY 513 00:25:43,052 --> 00:25:46,012 I think that alcohol needs a bit of work. 514 00:25:49,028 --> 00:25:52,076 I looked it up - like, the wind direction 515 00:25:52,076 --> 00:25:55,008 in the days after Hong Sha, 516 00:25:55,008 --> 00:25:58,052 and your angle of approach, fallout patterns, and things. 517 00:26:02,020 --> 00:26:04,020 I think you got a bigger dose than you said. 518 00:26:08,088 --> 00:26:11,024 I think you might have ten years. 519 00:26:19,068 --> 00:26:21,096 Did you know you can live forever? 520 00:26:27,016 --> 00:26:32,056 HE SPEAKS HIS OWN LANGUAGE 521 00:26:32,056 --> 00:26:34,064 That's right, darling. 522 00:26:34,064 --> 00:26:36,028 What's he saying? 523 00:26:36,028 --> 00:26:39,016 HE MUMBLES INCOHERENTLY 524 00:26:39,016 --> 00:26:40,096 PHONE CHIMES 525 00:26:40,096 --> 00:26:43,008 HE GROANS 526 00:26:43,008 --> 00:26:45,088 Ooh, no, no! You'll drop it. 527 00:26:45,088 --> 00:26:47,096 It... Give it here. 528 00:26:47,096 --> 00:26:49,072 Don't move. 529 00:26:49,072 --> 00:26:50,076 Stay there. 530 00:26:51,076 --> 00:26:52,080 Oh! 531 00:26:54,068 --> 00:26:56,044 Well, that's got to be fake. 532 00:26:56,044 --> 00:26:58,024 Fake news. 533 00:26:58,024 --> 00:27:00,020 Bang on midnight. 534 00:27:00,020 --> 00:27:02,008 "Message from the Home Office." 535 00:27:02,008 --> 00:27:04,052 As if they'd text. 536 00:27:04,052 --> 00:27:08,084 "Our records show you may not have leave to remain in the UK." 537 00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:12,028 You should tell your friends that's not funny. 538 00:27:14,012 --> 00:27:16,048 Black coffee, I think. 539 00:27:16,048 --> 00:27:19,024 I'll see you next week. And take care - 540 00:27:19,024 --> 00:27:21,016 I'm not sure you're fit to drive. 541 00:27:21,016 --> 00:27:25,068 The focus group can officially declare alcosynth does not work! 542 00:27:27,068 --> 00:27:29,036 Oh, God, I feel bad! 543 00:27:29,036 --> 00:27:32,012 And sort out that text. 544 00:27:32,012 --> 00:27:35,052 Tell them it should be illegal using the words Home Office like that. 545 00:27:35,052 --> 00:27:37,012 Will do. See you, Gran. 546 00:27:45,016 --> 00:27:48,052 I think it's real.Yeah. 547 00:27:48,052 --> 00:27:50,000 I looked online. 548 00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:52,036 There's many people saying text at midnight. 549 00:27:52,036 --> 00:27:55,000 Well, we've been privatised with the same system - date changes 550 00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:57,068 at midnight, automated texts go ping. 551 00:27:57,068 --> 00:27:58,072 It's real. 552 00:28:00,056 --> 00:28:02,028 Don't worry. 553 00:28:02,028 --> 00:28:04,020 I'll phone Yvonne. 554 00:28:04,020 --> 00:28:06,064 Honestly, I'm fine. 555 00:28:06,064 --> 00:28:08,060 Don't go to any fuss. I can sleep on a settee. 556 00:28:08,060 --> 00:28:11,056 No, there's plenty of space, cos Lincoln, if you put 557 00:28:11,056 --> 00:28:13,076 your things in Lee's room, then you two can share 558 00:28:13,076 --> 00:28:16,000 and if you're really, really good, 559 00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:18,088 we could get bunk beds. I'm having the top bunk! 560 00:28:18,088 --> 00:28:21,024 Right, go and put your clothes in that bottom drawer. 561 00:28:21,024 --> 00:28:24,036 Lee, go and make some room - five minutes. 562 00:28:24,036 --> 00:28:25,064 Why do kids love bunk beds? 563 00:28:25,064 --> 00:28:27,044 Knock knock! Only me. 564 00:28:27,044 --> 00:28:29,060 Careful - got sore heads. 565 00:28:29,060 --> 00:28:33,084 My sister tried to poison us last night. This is Edith. This is Lesley from down the hall. 566 00:28:33,084 --> 00:28:35,048 Ah, the missing sister.Hello. 567 00:28:35,048 --> 00:28:38,032 Aren't you supposed to be dying? 568 00:28:38,032 --> 00:28:41,036 Well, I mean, aren't we all, in the end? 569 00:28:41,036 --> 00:28:42,092 Well, you look good on it! 570 00:28:42,092 --> 00:28:44,052 I just got that coupon. 571 00:28:44,052 --> 00:28:46,012 It's good till Friday. 572 00:28:46,012 --> 00:28:49,044 I can't stop. I'm on the 3.15. See you tonight, though - yeah? 573 00:28:49,044 --> 00:28:51,020 Yeah. And that's Poppy. 574 00:28:51,020 --> 00:28:55,008 She's six months old, aren't you, Poppy?Hello!Hello. 575 00:28:55,008 --> 00:28:56,060 I'll leave you to it. 576 00:28:56,060 --> 00:28:58,048 Good luck. Hope you don't die. 577 00:28:58,048 --> 00:29:00,016 Thanks! I'll do my best. 578 00:29:02,088 --> 00:29:04,016 That was her. That's Poppy. 579 00:29:04,016 --> 00:29:06,020 What do you mean?I told you. Poppy... 580 00:29:06,020 --> 00:29:07,072 Don't you read any of your e-mails? 581 00:29:07,072 --> 00:29:10,084 The little girl - THE Poppy. That was her. 582 00:29:10,084 --> 00:29:14,096 So they did a scan and Poppy had a gap in her spine, just like me, 583 00:29:14,096 --> 00:29:17,056 so they went in and fixed it. In the womb?Yeah. 584 00:29:17,056 --> 00:29:22,024 It's amazing, isn't it? They've been doing that for years but now they can grow the nerve tissue. 585 00:29:22,024 --> 00:29:25,024 They can cultivate it inside and fix it completely. 586 00:29:25,024 --> 00:29:29,036 I mean, she's only six months - we'll see how it goes, but really, that's it - 587 00:29:29,036 --> 00:29:32,012 spina bifida cured - almost. 588 00:29:33,024 --> 00:29:36,052 And is that...OK? 589 00:29:36,052 --> 00:29:39,044 It's brilliant. I mean, look at her. She's gorgeous. 590 00:29:39,044 --> 00:29:42,008 But - she was gorgeous before. 591 00:29:43,064 --> 00:29:45,020 Gives me the shivers a bit. 592 00:29:45,020 --> 00:29:50,012 Can't say that to Lesley, cos once they start fixing people, 593 00:29:50,012 --> 00:29:53,056 where do they stop? Too tall? Too short? 594 00:29:53,056 --> 00:29:55,088 Do they want to fix ME? 595 00:29:55,088 --> 00:29:58,032 I think I'm brilliant. I don't want fixing. 596 00:30:00,048 --> 00:30:02,056 How much did it cost? 597 00:30:02,056 --> 00:30:03,096 Well, that's the thing. 598 00:30:03,096 --> 00:30:06,020 She was on the programme, so it was free. 599 00:30:06,020 --> 00:30:09,016 But the NHS can't afford stuff like that. 600 00:30:09,016 --> 00:30:11,040 So who's going to get fixed? 601 00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:13,088 Only the billionaires. 602 00:30:13,088 --> 00:30:15,016 So... 603 00:30:16,020 --> 00:30:18,096 ..you're worried about people you don't like, buying something 604 00:30:18,096 --> 00:30:20,092 you don't want. 605 00:30:20,092 --> 00:30:23,052 Yeah, I think. Is that right? 606 00:30:24,052 --> 00:30:26,064 I don't know. ROSIE LAUGHS 607 00:30:26,064 --> 00:30:28,068 God, the world got complicated! 608 00:30:32,036 --> 00:30:34,012 Hester Babatunde? 609 00:30:37,036 --> 00:30:40,032 The phrase to watch out for is "live discreetly". 610 00:30:40,032 --> 00:30:42,084 Technically, homosexuality isn't illegal in Ukraine, 611 00:30:42,084 --> 00:30:45,040 so if they say you can live discreetly, they can say you're safe 612 00:30:45,040 --> 00:30:46,084 to be returned. 613 00:30:46,084 --> 00:30:50,064 You mean, I should be not discreet with this?Indiscreet. 614 00:30:50,064 --> 00:30:53,020 It's not the gay thing. You got out because they registered 615 00:30:53,020 --> 00:30:55,012 him as a dissident.Unofficially. 616 00:30:55,012 --> 00:30:58,044 We can't prove that, so I'm going to use everything. 617 00:30:58,044 --> 00:31:00,008 I could wear a dress! 618 00:31:00,008 --> 00:31:02,000 That would help! 619 00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:03,072 Viktor Goraya? 620 00:31:03,072 --> 00:31:06,040 Right. You got everything?Yep. 621 00:31:08,060 --> 00:31:09,084 Good luck. 622 00:31:35,060 --> 00:31:37,020 HE EXHALES 623 00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:40,032 HE EXHALES 624 00:31:53,032 --> 00:31:55,004 They've detained him. I'm sorry. 625 00:31:55,004 --> 00:31:58,036 I need to get back to the office. I can make an appeal by six o'clock. 626 00:31:58,036 --> 00:32:00,068 Sorry, where is he? He's been detained. 627 00:32:00,068 --> 00:32:02,088 Right, so where is he now? 628 00:32:02,088 --> 00:32:05,044 Back there in a holding room but then they're going to move him. 629 00:32:05,044 --> 00:32:07,048 What do you mean, detained? Detained for how long? 630 00:32:07,048 --> 00:32:10,016 Well, he's been detained - that's it. That's why I need to get back. 631 00:32:10,016 --> 00:32:13,012 You mean he's been arrested? Well, no. But in effect, yes. 632 00:32:13,012 --> 00:32:14,044 What happened? They did what? 633 00:32:14,044 --> 00:32:16,080 They say he's been working at a petrol station for money, 634 00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:18,016 so he's broken his conditions. 635 00:32:18,016 --> 00:32:20,088 I'm not even going to ask you if that's true. I'm just going back to work. 636 00:32:20,088 --> 00:32:24,040 OK, so where is he now?He's in a holding room, but then they're taking him to Three Bridges. 637 00:32:24,040 --> 00:32:26,052 That's near Gatwick.Taking him away? Yeah.Where to? 638 00:32:26,052 --> 00:32:29,004 It's a centre called the Three Bridges, near Gatwick.Right, OK. 639 00:32:29,004 --> 00:32:30,036 OK, so, well - can I see him now? 640 00:32:30,036 --> 00:32:32,036 He hasn't gone already, has he? Can I see him? 641 00:32:32,036 --> 00:32:34,036 They won't allow it. But I work for the council. 642 00:32:34,036 --> 00:32:37,008 I'm not just anyone. I'm in housing, I move people all the time. 643 00:32:37,008 --> 00:32:39,008 I know the system. I'm allowed to see him. 644 00:32:39,008 --> 00:32:41,096 Daniel, you can't. Listen to me. Trust me. Don't piss them off. 645 00:32:41,096 --> 00:32:44,000 OK. So what happens? What are they going to do? 646 00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:47,036 They want to deport him. No, but they tortured him. 647 00:32:47,036 --> 00:32:51,004 You know, in the Ukraine - they tortured him. 648 00:32:51,004 --> 00:32:52,096 So where is he? 649 00:32:52,096 --> 00:32:56,008 They're taking him to a place called the Three Bridges Centre in London. 650 00:32:56,008 --> 00:32:59,036 It's just outside Gatwick. They're taking his phone off him. But that's not legal. 651 00:32:59,036 --> 00:33:01,064 They can remove the phone if it has a camera or internet access - 652 00:33:01,064 --> 00:33:05,004 which is every phone in the world. Who's got his phone? How are they allowed to have his phone? 653 00:33:05,004 --> 00:33:07,084 That phone belongs to him, so who's got it right now? Where is it? 654 00:33:07,084 --> 00:33:10,016 I need to get back to the office. 655 00:33:10,016 --> 00:33:11,056 He's going where? 656 00:33:11,056 --> 00:33:15,092 Three Bridges. It's a centre like Yarl's Wood, near Gatwick. 657 00:33:17,016 --> 00:33:19,060 He's on his way now. It's ridiculous. 658 00:33:19,060 --> 00:33:20,088 I've got it here. 659 00:33:20,088 --> 00:33:23,096 It says, "Three Bridges is a removal centre." Does that mean...? 660 00:33:23,096 --> 00:33:25,052 It's near Gatwick. 661 00:33:25,052 --> 00:33:27,008 You go there to be removed. 662 00:33:28,068 --> 00:33:30,064 They can't deport someone in a single day. 663 00:33:30,064 --> 00:33:33,036 Oh - your little world. 664 00:33:33,036 --> 00:33:38,000 He's not that far from you. I'll be there by half six. Get us a pizza. 665 00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:40,064 We should be moving in a month or so. 666 00:33:40,064 --> 00:33:42,068 The first man came back, Mr Yamagata. 667 00:33:42,068 --> 00:33:45,080 He offered the asking price, so off we go. Oh, except Ruby. 668 00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:47,096 I'm not moving. I'm really not. 669 00:33:47,096 --> 00:33:49,064 Pizza with lemon does not work. 670 00:33:49,064 --> 00:33:52,072 That house in Chancellor Row fell through, so we might have to 671 00:33:52,072 --> 00:33:57,000 rent for a couple of months, which is a bit of a hassle, but... 672 00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:58,080 ..gives me time to look for work. 673 00:33:58,080 --> 00:34:00,052 How much did this place go for? 674 00:34:00,052 --> 00:34:01,096 2.6 million. 675 00:34:03,040 --> 00:34:05,016 Oh, my God! 676 00:34:05,016 --> 00:34:06,020 London! 677 00:34:06,020 --> 00:34:09,004 PHONE RINGS 678 00:34:10,056 --> 00:34:13,064 Hold on. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, on, on. Hold on. 679 00:34:13,064 --> 00:34:15,064 Hello? Hello? 680 00:34:15,064 --> 00:34:18,012 Hey! Guess where I am. 681 00:34:18,012 --> 00:34:23,036 I know where you are. I'm like a world expert on Three Bridges now. You OK? 682 00:34:23,036 --> 00:34:24,084 Whose phone is this? 683 00:34:24,084 --> 00:34:27,084 They give you a phone with £10 credit. Not allowed my old one. 684 00:34:27,084 --> 00:34:30,024 No, I know, I know. But what's happened to your proper phone? 685 00:34:30,024 --> 00:34:32,004 Who's got it? Did they take it? Did they bag it? 686 00:34:32,004 --> 00:34:34,088 Did they give you a receipt? Because that's really not their property. 687 00:34:34,088 --> 00:34:39,012 Do you know where it is? I don't really care about the phone. 688 00:34:39,012 --> 00:34:40,076 No. 689 00:34:42,024 --> 00:34:44,004 You OK? 690 00:34:44,004 --> 00:34:45,064 Yeah. 691 00:34:45,064 --> 00:34:47,092 I didn't even say goodbye. 692 00:34:47,092 --> 00:34:50,068 So anyway, I'm down here in London. I'm not far away. 693 00:34:50,068 --> 00:34:51,084 I'm staying with Stephen. 694 00:34:51,084 --> 00:34:53,080 I've got your clothes. Just shoved them in. 695 00:34:53,080 --> 00:34:57,056 First thing tomorrow, I'll make an appointment to see you. 696 00:34:57,056 --> 00:35:01,048 You can't.Well, tough - because I can, and I will. 697 00:35:01,048 --> 00:35:03,096 It takes 24 hours to make an appointment, and they're flying me 698 00:35:03,096 --> 00:35:06,004 out at 7.00am. 699 00:35:06,004 --> 00:35:07,060 It's 12 hours' time. 700 00:35:07,060 --> 00:35:09,044 No, Yvonne's put in an appeal. 701 00:35:09,044 --> 00:35:11,020 Doesn't matter. 702 00:35:11,020 --> 00:35:13,016 She's put in an appeal. 703 00:35:13,016 --> 00:35:14,096 That's the system now. 704 00:35:14,096 --> 00:35:17,096 They reverted the law back to 2014. 705 00:35:17,096 --> 00:35:20,088 You get deported. Then you can appeal. 706 00:35:20,088 --> 00:35:22,092 Well, they can't do that. 707 00:35:22,092 --> 00:35:25,028 OK. Tell them. 708 00:35:31,092 --> 00:35:33,016 7.00am? 709 00:35:35,072 --> 00:35:37,000 Yeah. 710 00:35:39,076 --> 00:35:40,088 Where to - Kiev? 711 00:35:42,096 --> 00:35:45,040 Yeah.Right, then. 712 00:35:46,052 --> 00:35:48,088 Well, you go, and then... 713 00:35:50,072 --> 00:35:51,096 ..I'll get you back. 714 00:35:56,008 --> 00:35:57,028 Yes, please. 715 00:36:10,016 --> 00:36:12,036 Hey. GIGGLING 716 00:36:12,036 --> 00:36:14,052 Hi there. Shut up. Go to sleep. 717 00:36:15,088 --> 00:36:17,072 What's all this?Nothing. 718 00:36:19,024 --> 00:36:21,024 Is the bed OK?It's fine. 719 00:36:22,072 --> 00:36:24,048 Oh, were the boys making trouble? No. 720 00:36:25,072 --> 00:36:27,060 SHE LAUGHS 721 00:36:27,060 --> 00:36:29,032 Is there something wrong? 722 00:36:29,032 --> 00:36:31,084 No, it's fine. Just... 723 00:36:33,016 --> 00:36:36,040 SHE WHISPERS: This is nice. That's all. 724 00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:38,012 Now sssh! 725 00:36:40,012 --> 00:36:42,020 Aw! EDITH LAUGHS 726 00:36:42,020 --> 00:36:43,084 Aw!Shut up! 727 00:36:47,060 --> 00:36:49,080 I haven't done this for years. 728 00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:51,016 Remember that caravan? 729 00:36:52,016 --> 00:36:55,020 All the food went off. Do you remember? 730 00:36:55,020 --> 00:36:57,088 Mum was livid! 731 00:36:57,088 --> 00:36:58,092 Happy days. 732 00:37:01,068 --> 00:37:02,072 Yeah. 733 00:37:04,024 --> 00:37:05,052 Night, then. 734 00:37:07,044 --> 00:37:08,092 Welcome home. 735 00:37:29,044 --> 00:37:30,064 Right. 736 00:37:35,032 --> 00:37:37,080 What are you going to do? Go back home. 737 00:37:40,040 --> 00:37:42,000 Get him back. 738 00:38:02,032 --> 00:38:03,048 PHONE RINGS 739 00:38:05,028 --> 00:38:06,064 Hi there. You OK? 740 00:38:06,064 --> 00:38:09,024 Come outside - quickly! Come and look outside now. 741 00:38:09,024 --> 00:38:11,008 Danny said Viktor's been flown out. 742 00:38:11,008 --> 00:38:14,028 He's phoned the Home Office but just ended up talking to a clerk. 743 00:38:14,028 --> 00:38:16,048 Yes, yes, yes - Edith, come outside now! 744 00:38:19,072 --> 00:38:21,052 I'm here. Can you see me? 745 00:38:24,020 --> 00:38:25,088 What's all the fuss?Oh, my God. 746 00:38:25,088 --> 00:38:29,024 Wait till you see. Here it comes. It's hilarious. 747 00:38:29,024 --> 00:38:30,048 Look. 748 00:38:30,048 --> 00:38:34,020 Look, it's the Battle Bus! It's the Rookmobile! It's Vivienne Rook! 749 00:38:34,020 --> 00:38:36,084 Oh, my God. I've read about her. 750 00:38:36,084 --> 00:38:38,084 Yeah, she's on TV all the time, you missed it! 751 00:38:38,084 --> 00:38:41,048 She's got her own party, the Four Stars! 752 00:38:41,048 --> 00:38:44,020 Hello, Viv! Hello! Yes, woo! 753 00:38:44,020 --> 00:38:45,048 She sounds like a monster. 754 00:38:45,048 --> 00:38:47,060 Oh, I know, I wouldn't vote for her. She's horrific. 755 00:38:47,060 --> 00:38:50,040 I read somewhere that she acts all normal, but she's a millionaire. 756 00:38:50,040 --> 00:38:51,072 Go on, Viv! Whoo! 757 00:38:51,072 --> 00:38:54,024 Rosie, I don't think she's actually on the bus. 758 00:38:54,024 --> 00:38:56,032 Yeah, I know. She won't set foot in this place. 759 00:38:56,032 --> 00:38:58,016 Been Labour for 500 years. 760 00:38:58,016 --> 00:39:01,000 Mind you, nice to have a woman, though. Go on, Viv! 761 00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:02,060 So who's he got out there? 762 00:39:02,060 --> 00:39:04,024 His mum and dad. 763 00:39:04,024 --> 00:39:05,088 But they're Eastern Orthodox, 764 00:39:05,088 --> 00:39:08,028 and when the Russians occupied Ukraine, they named him 765 00:39:08,028 --> 00:39:09,092 to the police as gay. 766 00:39:09,092 --> 00:39:12,048 That's what people do there. His own parents! 767 00:39:12,048 --> 00:39:15,040 I mean, he's got friends, but they're all too scared. PHONE RINGS 768 00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:17,024 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 769 00:39:17,024 --> 00:39:19,032 Oh!Here I am! I'm alive. 770 00:39:19,032 --> 00:39:21,000 I did it! I'm here. 771 00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:23,012 Are you all right? What time is it there? 772 00:39:23,012 --> 00:39:26,060 Where are you?I'm fine. I'm really fine. We're going. 773 00:39:26,060 --> 00:39:29,008 Don't mind us. We'll leave you to it. 774 00:39:29,008 --> 00:39:31,064 Well done, Viktor. He'll get you home. 775 00:39:31,064 --> 00:39:32,080 Hi there! Thank you. 776 00:39:32,080 --> 00:39:35,012 I'll come round later, yeah, Fran? All right, all right. 777 00:39:35,012 --> 00:39:36,036 Right, bye-bye. 778 00:39:37,084 --> 00:39:39,020 Oh, my God. 779 00:39:40,064 --> 00:39:41,096 Look at your face! 780 00:39:44,020 --> 00:39:46,060 Where are you now? Where's that? 781 00:39:46,060 --> 00:39:48,044 Claude's. I'm staying with Claude. 782 00:39:48,044 --> 00:39:51,088 He's there in the kitchen, just to warn you. Do not whack it out! 783 00:39:53,012 --> 00:39:56,032 I wasn't going to.Well, I would! 784 00:39:56,032 --> 00:39:57,092 HE LAUGHS 785 00:39:57,092 --> 00:40:01,096 You all right, though? I mean, you're not under arrest, are you? 786 00:40:01,096 --> 00:40:04,040 No, it's fine, I promise. 787 00:40:04,040 --> 00:40:07,084 One good thing - Britain deported 200 people in one day. 788 00:40:07,084 --> 00:40:09,064 55 to Kiev. 789 00:40:09,064 --> 00:40:11,064 So you know, that's a lot of people. 790 00:40:11,064 --> 00:40:14,044 It helps.But you're on a government list. 791 00:40:14,044 --> 00:40:17,000 I don't want to fight. I just want to go. 792 00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:19,004 Till then, I will do what they say. 793 00:40:19,004 --> 00:40:21,052 I will live discreetly. 794 00:40:21,052 --> 00:40:22,084 Live discreetly. 795 00:40:24,080 --> 00:40:27,008 Until I come home. 796 00:40:27,008 --> 00:40:29,076 I could fly out. 797 00:40:29,076 --> 00:40:32,008 Is that discreet?I don't know. 798 00:40:32,008 --> 00:40:33,044 Is it? 799 00:40:34,080 --> 00:40:36,016 I don't know. 800 00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:39,048 God. 801 00:40:39,048 --> 00:40:41,076 Just for now, we will be discreet. 802 00:40:43,072 --> 00:40:45,068 I love you. 803 00:40:45,068 --> 00:40:47,064 Yeah. 804 00:40:47,064 --> 00:40:48,084 I love you. 805 00:40:50,056 --> 00:40:53,000 But can they listen to this? 806 00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:54,032 I don't know. 807 00:40:57,092 --> 00:41:01,060 CLAMOURING AND CHANTING 808 00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:08,052 This is a different country to the one I left. 809 00:41:08,052 --> 00:41:12,008 No-one used to care about by-elections. It's gone mad. 810 00:41:12,008 --> 00:41:15,096 Yeah. We're all bloody furious now. What about?Everything. 811 00:41:15,096 --> 00:41:18,012 I'm not getting in your way at home? 812 00:41:18,012 --> 00:41:20,076 Just cos you keep cleaning up after me, like, every time I make a move, 813 00:41:20,076 --> 00:41:24,016 you're there, cleaning, and I just...well, I just wondered if you'd rather that I went. 814 00:41:24,016 --> 00:41:26,016 No, no. I love having you there. It's just... 815 00:41:26,016 --> 00:41:28,076 Well, you know with Mum - when she was on chemo, 816 00:41:28,076 --> 00:41:30,036 the drugs are radioactive, so, 817 00:41:30,036 --> 00:41:32,020 "Don't touch any urine, don't touch vomit, 818 00:41:32,020 --> 00:41:34,084 "don't touch any bodily fluids" - and it kind of got to me. 819 00:41:34,084 --> 00:41:38,000 I mean, I was with her all day, every day, and I wore gloves, 820 00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:40,048 scrubbed everything, but... 821 00:41:40,048 --> 00:41:42,080 You're not radioactive, are you? 822 00:41:44,008 --> 00:41:47,068 No! No, I'm not.I just keep thinking of the boys, you know, and... 823 00:41:47,068 --> 00:41:50,044 I wouldn't do that to you, I swear. 824 00:41:50,044 --> 00:41:53,044 It doesn't work like that, anyway. You get more radiation off rocks. 825 00:41:53,044 --> 00:41:57,024 Oh, my God! APPLAUSE 826 00:42:00,008 --> 00:42:01,072 Go on, Vivienne! 827 00:42:01,072 --> 00:42:04,012 Are you on her side now?No, I haven't made my mind up yet. 828 00:42:04,012 --> 00:42:06,052 Go on, Viv! Woo! 829 00:42:06,052 --> 00:42:09,068 CHANTING AND CLAMOURING 830 00:42:13,052 --> 00:42:18,012 BOOING 831 00:42:18,012 --> 00:42:21,008 I think that your party has let us down, Stan - 832 00:42:21,008 --> 00:42:23,088 just like the Conservatives, just like all of you - 833 00:42:23,088 --> 00:42:25,084 because Europe is punishing us. 834 00:42:25,084 --> 00:42:29,076 They're imposing embargoes, export tariffs and border restrictions. 835 00:42:29,076 --> 00:42:32,048 We're fed up, and what are you doing? Nothing. 836 00:42:32,048 --> 00:42:34,012 Export tariffs? 837 00:42:34,012 --> 00:42:36,092 Yes.They impose export tariffs? 838 00:42:36,092 --> 00:42:38,036 It's a disgrace. 839 00:42:38,036 --> 00:42:39,080 What's an export tariff? 840 00:42:41,044 --> 00:42:42,092 I mean, tariffs in general. 841 00:42:42,092 --> 00:42:45,008 See, if they impose an export tariff, 842 00:42:45,008 --> 00:42:48,000 then they would pay the export tariff themselves. 843 00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:50,000 We don't pay. They do. 844 00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:51,044 Do you actually understand that? 845 00:42:51,044 --> 00:42:52,096 LAUGHTER 846 00:42:52,096 --> 00:42:56,000 No, but I...You see, I don't think you understand anything. 847 00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:59,044 This is very detailed and precise information, 848 00:42:59,044 --> 00:43:01,088 and you don't even begin to understand it. 849 00:43:01,088 --> 00:43:04,044 You're just saying words, Mrs Rook. 850 00:43:04,044 --> 00:43:06,084 DISSENTING NOISES 851 00:43:09,044 --> 00:43:13,048 And now, closing remarks from Vivian Rook - Four Star Party. 852 00:43:13,048 --> 00:43:17,024 Thank you. And thank you to my fellow candidates. 853 00:43:18,064 --> 00:43:21,088 I've been humbled tonight. I've learnt a lot. 854 00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:25,072 I certainly know what an export tariff is now, 855 00:43:25,072 --> 00:43:29,048 although I can't help noticing that a woman is not allowed one mistake. 856 00:43:29,048 --> 00:43:31,008 Oh, don't do that! 857 00:43:31,008 --> 00:43:35,076 I wonder. We've been asked about strategies, 858 00:43:35,076 --> 00:43:39,004 policies - I've been accused of sounding vague. 859 00:43:40,084 --> 00:43:44,000 I think I am, perhaps, cautious. 860 00:43:45,044 --> 00:43:46,088 No, I'm scared. 861 00:43:46,088 --> 00:43:50,084 I am. I am terrified, given the size of the task in front of me. 862 00:43:52,048 --> 00:43:55,012 Has any of you seen one of these? 863 00:43:55,012 --> 00:43:58,048 They've been on the telly - highly illegal, smuggled in from Taiwan. 864 00:43:58,048 --> 00:44:00,076 I will be surrendering this to the police 865 00:44:00,076 --> 00:44:05,068 when we are done here tonight. But for those of you who don't know, this is called a blink. 866 00:44:06,068 --> 00:44:11,024 A blink is a weapon created by cyber terrorists. 867 00:44:11,024 --> 00:44:12,052 And it goes.... 868 00:44:13,088 --> 00:44:15,068 BLEEP Blink. 869 00:44:15,068 --> 00:44:17,092 CROWD MURMUR 870 00:44:17,092 --> 00:44:20,016 It takes out every online device... 871 00:44:20,016 --> 00:44:23,024 She can't do that! ..within a 30-metre radius. 872 00:44:23,024 --> 00:44:25,056 INDISTINCT OUTRAGE 873 00:44:25,056 --> 00:44:28,084 If you don't mind, I'm talking and if you can't manage without your phone for five minutes... 874 00:44:28,084 --> 00:44:31,008 You can't do that!..while we talk to each other face-to-face... 875 00:44:31,008 --> 00:44:33,080 You can't just do that! ..like human beings...You have no right. 876 00:44:33,080 --> 00:44:37,000 ..then what is the point of anything, sir? Disgusting! 877 00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:40,036 Because I would go further. 878 00:44:40,036 --> 00:44:42,064 I would legalise the blink. 879 00:44:42,064 --> 00:44:45,084 I would give one of these to every parent, every teacher, every school. 880 00:44:45,084 --> 00:44:49,092 I would activate the blink in every classroom, every home, every day, 881 00:44:49,092 --> 00:44:51,096 because do you know what I did? 882 00:44:53,008 --> 00:44:55,064 I looked on my goddaughter's phone. 883 00:44:55,064 --> 00:44:58,060 She is six years old. 884 00:44:58,060 --> 00:45:00,052 She is six years old. 885 00:45:00,052 --> 00:45:04,056 And do you know what I saw on the phone of that six-year-old girl? 886 00:45:04,056 --> 00:45:07,088 On the phone of every six-year-old girl in the country? On the phone 887 00:45:07,088 --> 00:45:11,096 of every six-year-old girl and boy in the entire civilised world, 888 00:45:11,096 --> 00:45:13,092 I saw this. 889 00:45:13,092 --> 00:45:16,072 GROANS OF DISGUST 890 00:45:18,032 --> 00:45:20,044 Hey, this is cheating!Oh, God! 891 00:45:20,044 --> 00:45:22,068 We are not allowed to use visual aids. 892 00:45:22,068 --> 00:45:26,060 Get a new plan, Stan! This is the filth on the phones. 893 00:45:26,060 --> 00:45:28,036 Look at it! Look at it! 894 00:45:28,036 --> 00:45:32,068 Because our children do - nonstop porn streaming into our children's 895 00:45:32,068 --> 00:45:34,008 eyes all day. 896 00:45:34,008 --> 00:45:37,064 You there, laughing, mate - are you proud of this nonstop porn for kids? 897 00:45:37,064 --> 00:45:39,028 That's nice.Amazing. 898 00:45:39,028 --> 00:45:44,068 Let me guarantee, as your MP, I will go to Parliament on your behalf 899 00:45:44,068 --> 00:45:50,000 and I will find those CEOs in California, those hi tech giants, 900 00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:54,076 those men, and I will bring them back here - not to appear in front 901 00:45:54,076 --> 00:45:56,096 of a Select Committee - 902 00:45:56,096 --> 00:46:00,064 I will bring them here to stand trial. 903 00:46:00,064 --> 00:46:03,076 I will bring them here to find them guilty. 904 00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:08,088 I will bring them here to jail them. 905 00:46:08,088 --> 00:46:11,048 Are you with me? 906 00:46:11,048 --> 00:46:13,048 CROWD: Yes! 907 00:46:13,048 --> 00:46:15,064 APPLAUSE 908 00:46:17,060 --> 00:46:20,084 Well, then, ladies and gentlemen - 909 00:46:20,084 --> 00:46:22,016 tweet that. 910 00:46:22,016 --> 00:46:25,052 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 911 00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:37,004 CHANTING 912 00:46:38,088 --> 00:46:40,020 I thought you hated her. 913 00:46:40,020 --> 00:46:41,084 Tear the world down. 914 00:46:41,084 --> 00:46:42,088 Ha-ha-ha! 915 00:46:43,088 --> 00:46:45,056 Thanks for coming. 916 00:46:48,020 --> 00:46:50,024 INDISTINCT 917 00:46:52,004 --> 00:46:53,008 Nice to meet you. 918 00:46:55,028 --> 00:46:58,016 Oh, my God, wait there. One minute, one minute. Excuse me! Excuse me! 919 00:46:58,016 --> 00:47:00,040 Hi.Hi. Oh, Viv, hi. For the kids, do you mind? 920 00:47:00,040 --> 00:47:02,076 Yes. Sure, go ahead, it's all right. Here we go. 921 00:47:08,064 --> 00:47:10,088 I'm fed up of it now. 922 00:47:10,088 --> 00:47:11,092 Finish off tomorrow. 923 00:47:13,004 --> 00:47:14,084 Going to bed? 924 00:47:14,084 --> 00:47:17,048 Yeah. The money's in. 925 00:47:17,048 --> 00:47:19,052 Thank you, Mr Yamagata. 926 00:47:21,088 --> 00:47:24,072 Ruby's right. I don't want to move either. 927 00:47:27,028 --> 00:47:31,008 Still, Maddy says there might be jobs with Simon Harris. 928 00:47:31,008 --> 00:47:33,056 It's worth a try. Coming up? 929 00:47:50,036 --> 00:47:52,080 Signor, lights out downstairs. 930 00:47:52,080 --> 00:47:54,060 AUTOMATED:Lights out, ground floor. 931 00:47:58,088 --> 00:48:00,028 Goodnight, Stephen. 932 00:48:10,032 --> 00:48:13,056 PHONE RINGS 933 00:48:17,084 --> 00:48:20,048 It's my phone.It's mine as well. 934 00:48:24,052 --> 00:48:27,096 It's from Sally and Tanya.Me too. 935 00:48:27,096 --> 00:48:29,000 And Richard Peel. 936 00:48:30,024 --> 00:48:32,072 What time is it in Tokyo? 937 00:48:32,072 --> 00:48:35,012 Must be about 9am. Just opened. 938 00:48:38,008 --> 00:48:39,052 Do you think it's true? 939 00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:45,088 The Japanese Exchange Group has issued a statement of 940 00:48:45,088 --> 00:48:47,088 no confidence in Foster Foster Drake. 941 00:48:47,088 --> 00:48:50,040 Foster Foster Drake is the second-largest 942 00:48:50,040 --> 00:48:52,012 investment bank in America. 943 00:48:52,012 --> 00:48:56,024 The JXS maintains that Foster Foster Drake will be filing for a 944 00:48:56,024 --> 00:48:59,060 Chapter 11 bankruptcy as soon as trading opens on the east coast. 945 00:49:02,072 --> 00:49:05,028 The online bank's gone down. 946 00:49:05,028 --> 00:49:06,068 Must be everyone. 947 00:49:07,088 --> 00:49:10,084 But Foster Foster Drake doesn't own the Alliance. 948 00:49:10,084 --> 00:49:13,008 No, no. We'll be fine. 949 00:49:13,008 --> 00:49:15,092 It's connected, though. They ghost a lot of services. 950 00:49:19,088 --> 00:49:23,008 And you left all that money in one account? 951 00:49:24,040 --> 00:49:27,056 I just...I don't move money till the morning. 952 00:49:27,056 --> 00:49:30,088 That's what I do. Every morning, I have a coffee, 953 00:49:30,088 --> 00:49:33,084 and if money needs moving, that's when I do it. 954 00:49:35,056 --> 00:49:39,032 Nothing we can do until the banks open. I can sort it then. OK? 955 00:49:56,040 --> 00:49:59,052 I'm going to the bank. You can't take out 1.2 million. 956 00:49:59,052 --> 00:50:00,076 I know. I'm going to move it. 957 00:50:00,076 --> 00:50:03,048 I always move the money in the morning.I'm not saying it's your fault. 958 00:50:03,048 --> 00:50:05,092 Celeste, this is the kind of thing that causes a run on the bank. 959 00:50:05,092 --> 00:50:07,092 Yes, and if there's a run on the bank, I am running. 960 00:50:10,028 --> 00:50:12,056 Is that thing working? There's no reply. 961 00:50:14,004 --> 00:50:18,000 Keep trying. It's Bruce McNolte. Patch him through to me. 962 00:50:18,000 --> 00:50:19,088 He's not just a friend, Bruce. He's a mate. 963 00:50:19,088 --> 00:50:21,088 I wrote that reference for his son, 964 00:50:21,088 --> 00:50:23,088 and if he could just backdate, 965 00:50:23,088 --> 00:50:26,044 that's all, if he just backdates the transfer by one day, then... 966 00:50:26,044 --> 00:50:27,092 Oh, my God! 967 00:50:27,092 --> 00:50:29,084 It's not... 968 00:50:29,084 --> 00:50:31,096 We'll be all right. Come on. We're... 969 00:50:31,096 --> 00:50:34,024 We're not just any old customers. One at a time. 970 00:50:34,024 --> 00:50:36,080 I'm sorry. Just one at a time. They're going in one at a time. 971 00:50:36,080 --> 00:50:38,052 Sorry, could you just keep back? 972 00:50:38,052 --> 00:50:40,076 Yeah. This is us. 973 00:50:42,044 --> 00:50:44,008 Just hold on. Wait here. 974 00:50:51,060 --> 00:50:53,032 EXCITED CHATTER 975 00:50:53,032 --> 00:50:54,084 Just keep yourselves back. 976 00:50:54,084 --> 00:50:57,072 Sorry. Hi. This is a bit of a mess, isn't it? 977 00:50:58,076 --> 00:51:01,068 I wonder, could you get me in? Just have to wait, sir. 978 00:51:01,068 --> 00:51:05,028 No, I'm quite a special customer. 979 00:51:05,028 --> 00:51:09,028 I haven't just got 500 quid in an ISA. I'm on the Gold Star list. 980 00:51:09,028 --> 00:51:10,068 Sorry, there's nothing I can do. 981 00:51:10,068 --> 00:51:12,052 You'll have to queue with the rest of 'em. 982 00:51:13,096 --> 00:51:18,080 Is... Is Bruce McNolte in there? He's the area manager. 983 00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:21,004 I actually know Bruce quite well, 984 00:51:21,004 --> 00:51:24,020 I've been to dinner at his house, and he'd want to see me. 985 00:51:24,020 --> 00:51:26,024 I've told you, there's nothing I can do. 986 00:51:27,064 --> 00:51:30,064 But I really need to see him. 987 00:51:30,064 --> 00:51:32,088 I need to ask you to step back, please, sir. 988 00:51:32,088 --> 00:51:35,004 But he's my friend. 989 00:51:35,004 --> 00:51:36,096 Sir, I'm telling you, step away. 990 00:51:36,096 --> 00:51:39,064 Listen, my name is Stephen Lyons... 991 00:51:39,064 --> 00:51:43,012 I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I've been told to lock the doors. Sorry. 992 00:51:43,012 --> 00:51:44,088 CUSTOMERS SHOUTING 993 00:51:44,088 --> 00:51:46,060 No, they can't... 994 00:51:55,068 --> 00:51:58,000 Let me in! You have my money! 995 00:51:58,000 --> 00:51:59,072 Easy, easy! 996 00:51:59,072 --> 00:52:01,080 SHOUTING CONTINUES 997 00:52:01,080 --> 00:52:04,040 No! No! 998 00:52:04,040 --> 00:52:05,080 SHOUTING CONTINUES 999 00:52:05,080 --> 00:52:07,020 Let me in! 1000 00:52:35,044 --> 00:52:39,092 You can't do this! You've got £20,000 of my money! 1001 00:52:39,092 --> 00:52:43,072 SHOUTING CONTINUES 1002 00:52:51,048 --> 00:52:52,068 Yeah? 1003 00:52:52,068 --> 00:52:55,096 Stephen, can you hear me? 1004 00:52:55,096 --> 00:52:57,036 Yes! 1005 00:52:57,036 --> 00:53:00,012 It's the same at Clinton Shaw! The whole thing's going down! 1006 00:53:00,012 --> 00:53:04,004 Jesus. Try to get anything. Anything! 1007 00:53:07,016 --> 00:53:08,088 Calm down, ladies and gentlemen! 1008 00:53:14,076 --> 00:53:17,060 Let me in, I'm a friend of Bruce McNolte! 1009 00:53:17,060 --> 00:53:19,088 I'm a friend of Bruce! 1010 00:53:19,088 --> 00:53:22,020 SHOUTING CONTINUES 1011 00:53:29,084 --> 00:53:31,080 Move! Move it! Move! 1012 00:53:33,000 --> 00:53:36,044 You've got my money, open the door! You've got my money! 1013 00:53:36,044 --> 00:53:38,016 SHOUTING CONTINUES 1014 00:53:42,044 --> 00:53:43,068 Let me in! 1015 00:53:45,092 --> 00:53:47,072 Let me in! 1016 00:53:53,020 --> 00:53:55,028 The bank has failed. 1017 00:53:55,028 --> 00:53:56,076 Officially. 1018 00:53:58,004 --> 00:54:00,048 The Government could step in, but won't. 1019 00:54:00,048 --> 00:54:02,072 So that leaves us kind of stuffed. 1020 00:54:04,052 --> 00:54:06,084 Now, that's the word, stuffed. 1021 00:54:08,004 --> 00:54:11,000 I said to Mr Yamagata, can we wind back a day, just to be nice? 1022 00:54:11,000 --> 00:54:13,092 But...no - he said no. 1023 00:54:13,092 --> 00:54:17,004 The house is sold and we've got to get out. 1024 00:54:17,004 --> 00:54:19,044 So how much have you lost? 1025 00:54:19,044 --> 00:54:23,072 Well, we're covered up to £85,000. 1026 00:54:23,072 --> 00:54:26,008 That's the limit. 1027 00:54:26,008 --> 00:54:29,008 There was a temporary high balance clause, but... 1028 00:54:29,008 --> 00:54:30,064 It's gone. 1029 00:54:30,064 --> 00:54:32,096 ..with the collapse of Foster Foster Drake, 1030 00:54:32,096 --> 00:54:34,056 you know, insurance is fucked. 1031 00:54:34,056 --> 00:54:37,004 But, Stephen, how much did you lose? 1032 00:54:38,088 --> 00:54:40,096 Minus the 85... 1033 00:54:43,048 --> 00:54:44,088 ..we lost... 1034 00:54:46,044 --> 00:54:50,036 ..£1,135,000. 1035 00:54:50,036 --> 00:54:52,036 Oh! 1036 00:54:52,036 --> 00:54:53,068 Oh, my God. 1037 00:54:56,048 --> 00:54:58,008 HE MOUTHS 1038 00:54:58,008 --> 00:54:59,084 But how much of that can you get back? 1039 00:54:59,084 --> 00:55:01,028 Nothing. That's it. 1040 00:55:01,028 --> 00:55:03,056 You've still got 85,000, though. 1041 00:55:03,056 --> 00:55:05,016 SCOFFS: To buy a house? 1042 00:55:05,016 --> 00:55:07,000 Is that enough? With two kids? Really? 1043 00:55:07,000 --> 00:55:09,012 Give it to me. I'll have a go. 1044 00:55:09,012 --> 00:55:11,080 Oh, stop it, Rosie. No, I won't! 1045 00:55:11,080 --> 00:55:15,028 Because they've knackered the whole country for the second time. 1046 00:55:15,028 --> 00:55:17,096 The bankers, the experts, and, I'm sorry, people like Stephen, 1047 00:55:17,096 --> 00:55:20,076 they did this. Yes, they did. All right, Rosie! 1048 00:55:20,076 --> 00:55:22,016 Not now. 1049 00:55:22,016 --> 00:55:24,096 No, it's true.It is true, it is true. 1050 00:55:24,096 --> 00:55:26,060 Are you finished? 1051 00:55:26,060 --> 00:55:28,056 Enjoying yourselves? Thanks. 1052 00:55:28,056 --> 00:55:31,076 So what about work? What happens? 1053 00:55:31,076 --> 00:55:33,036 It's not great. 1054 00:55:33,036 --> 00:55:36,000 I'm the financial adviser who lost a million quid. 1055 00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:39,044 Who might be facing charges for rioting in the street. 1056 00:55:39,044 --> 00:55:41,004 There's no need for that. 1057 00:55:41,004 --> 00:55:42,052 Shut up! 1058 00:55:43,068 --> 00:55:45,060 So, what are you going to do? 1059 00:55:45,060 --> 00:55:47,076 Where are you going to live? 1060 00:55:59,056 --> 00:56:02,064 Welcome home. We'll be fine. 1061 00:56:02,064 --> 00:56:05,072 There's plenty of room. Happy little household. 1062 00:56:20,080 --> 00:56:24,096 Vivienne Alison Rook, Four Star Party... 1063 00:56:24,096 --> 00:56:27,060 BOOING, WHOOPING AND CHEERING 1064 00:56:27,060 --> 00:56:31,032 ..18,556 votes. 1065 00:56:32,040 --> 00:56:36,044 Stanley Edward Thomas, Labour... 1066 00:56:36,044 --> 00:56:39,032 ..17,367 votes. 1067 00:56:39,032 --> 00:56:41,008 Wow. 1068 00:56:42,068 --> 00:56:44,052 Go on, Viv! Yes, you did it! 1069 00:56:44,052 --> 00:56:47,000 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1070 00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:50,064 I declare that Vivienne Rook is duly elected 1071 00:56:50,064 --> 00:56:53,076 as Member of Parliament for this constituency! 1072 00:56:53,076 --> 00:56:56,080 CROWD CHANTING:Viv! Viv! Viv! 1073 00:56:58,036 --> 00:57:00,016 Oh, my God. 1074 00:57:03,032 --> 00:57:05,088 I promise you, 1075 00:57:05,088 --> 00:57:10,004 this is the day when British politics will... 1076 00:57:10,004 --> 00:57:12,068 You don't mind, do you? 1077 00:57:12,068 --> 00:57:14,032 No!No. 1078 00:57:15,036 --> 00:57:18,020 CHEERING AND WHOOPING 1079 00:57:18,020 --> 00:57:19,028 This is... 1080 00:57:21,028 --> 00:57:22,092 ..just the beginning. 1081 00:57:22,092 --> 00:57:25,012 This is just the beginning. 1082 00:57:25,012 --> 00:57:29,036 CROWD CHANTING:Viv! Viv! Viv! Viv! 1083 00:57:40,068 --> 00:57:43,088 He's got to cross the border. You mean illegally? 1084 00:57:43,088 --> 00:57:47,012 If the exit polls are correct, this is an extraordinary result. 1085 00:57:51,072 --> 00:57:53,040 I will decide! 1086 00:57:53,040 --> 00:57:54,080 WHOOPING AND CHEERING 77303

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