Original subtitles

Drunken Fist has two styles with the same basis

The southern form was created by Beggar So

He created the most invincible techniques

which no man had ever defeated

Northern Drunken Fist was created by Rubber Legs

He's a proud man with a desire to destroy

He secretly added Praying Mantis to his Drunken Fist

to make an even more lethal weapon

Rubber Legs, with his student marches southward

to deal with Beggar So!

Waiter!

Coming!

Master So!

Check please!

Master So, it's our honour to have you You needn't pay

Thanks but I don't wish to impose on you

All right just put it on my account then!

Please stay!

Are you Beggar So?

What's it to you?

Well, are you?

Beggar So has no need to change his name

Then you'd better pay your bill! Why's that?

If you don't pay now the chance won't come again

Your Southern Drunken Fist has stirred all of Canton

and I, Rubber Legs, have traveled here

to stage a duel between Northern and Southern Drunken Fist

Rubber Legs?

I'm not really Beggar So

My name's Fake, Beggar Fake I'm an imposter!

I'll not only kill Beggar So but any imposters too!

Better to make a mistake than lose everything!

Wanton noodles please

Quick

Boss

2 wanton noodles

Hurry up

Wanton noodles again

I'll take one

Eating again? 2 more over there Hurry up!

Hey, I've been waiting for long!

Quick! Coming...

We've been waiting for too long

Lucky that no splitting

You want 2, right? Put them down

Waiter, come here!

What can I do for you?

Look at this!

What's this thing?

Wanton noodles!

Look more closely!

It's an onion!

Taste good!

There are even more onions here!

Look carefully

Why so many?

Why don't you eat these too?

Oh! Too many isn't good for eyes

I'll change these bowls for you!

That won't be so easy!

There're flies inside so hand back my money!

A refund just for some flies?!

You're looking for trouble, asshole!

Don't beat me

It's not my fault, you asked for it!

Son of a bitch, pick on me will you?

Try this Chicken Fist!

Duck Fist

I peck...!

Broken Chicken

I peck...!

Stupid bird, you pecked the wrong guy!

Chicken eats the duck!

I kill chicken and chop duck's meat!

You're really skillful

I should thank you!

Boss, what's the matter?

Get the hell out of here!

Come and have a look. It's good

How much?

Here you go, it's sixty cents!

Okay

That's the guy, it's all his fault! Damn man!

What's going on? What? You horny old man

made my sister pregnant!

Made her pregnant? Have you made a mistake?

I'd even recognize your ashes

and the red hair on your ass!

Even I've never seen red hair there!

Pull down your pants and let's see!

Hurry up! Take them off!

Not taking that off means you did so!

I have to see that

Don't try to put the blame on me!

I didn't. You did it all right!

Sister, you're a shame of our family

You have it but have yet married

Brother told you to choose friends carefully

This old guy says he didn't do so

So what are you going to do now?

I'll kill myself! Sister, don't be silly!

Wait a second! Give back my money!

Don't grab me!

If she dies, I'll get you!

She won't die! What?

If you don't give back the money I'll get you!

Money back now!

Stop!

You idiot, he stole my money!

You made her pregnant

You must pay!

You idiot boy, you look!

How could an old man like me knock her up!

Even old shells can hide a pearl!

You idiot!

Your mother'd have farted an egg better than you!

Laugh at my mother, huh?

I'll fix you!

You fight well, old man so I won't be nice to you!

I'll wake you out of that dream!

You rascal next time you'd better be smarter!

You'd better pay back today!

Or I'll get nasty!

Why should Beggar So's debt concern me?

Your husband's debt is your debt too!

You're his wife so who else should I talk to?

How much does he owe you?

Five dollars about two years ago!

With 20% interest every five days

All together is $400!

What? That's a robbery!

That's not robbery, that's investment!

My husband's debts are his own business!

I don't have it All I can give is myself!

You? No one likes old meat!

You dare hit me? You don't value your life!

You bitch, you're not so bad!

The hell with your damn interest!

Be smart and go at once!

I won't leave until I've got my money back!

The bumps on your head are your interest!

How much do I owe you now?

Nothing!

Get out!

Thank you

Wait

All that for nothing!

Old bag, you're trying to murder me or what?

You still have the nerve to come home?

There's no place like home!

Are you crazy? What did you do that for?

No reason except you left without one word

You treat me as if I don't exist!

I deserve it!

These broken things cost money!

I'm glad you know that you borrow from everywhere

and the creditors are always at the door

You shit and make me wipe your ass!

I'm to blame!

Then here's your medicine!

Beating by a broom brings three-year bad luck!

I'll beat you into a pulp!

You can damn well enjoy yourself

while you don't even send me a cent!

You expect me to eat air?

I'm not to blame!

Let me go!

I'll beat you...

I sent you money so why are you starving?

Bastard, let me go!

Stop!

It's you again?

It's you again?

Leave my mother alone

Stop! He's your father

What? My father?

Call him now!

Father!

Shut up! You call all bearded men your father? Huh?

I understand now, so you've played...

Played what?

Oh, you think I've fooled around!

You're crazy, you nuts he's my adopted son!

Adopted son?

You mean this ugly thing?

You could have chosen a smarter kid!

Hey! He's an honest boy!

You said you sent me money?

Yes, I sent it through a bank!

What're you saying? I never got it!

You didn't get it?

Don't worry your money is safe in my pocket

I'll send it soon!

I hope so, I don't like con-men!

I especially like con-men... What?

To be my punching bags!

I won't worry then You don't need to. Good bye

See you Take your time!

Thanks a lot

Beggars, screw off You won't find handouts here!

Even if I had it I wouldn't give you any!

Take it easy!

We're not here to beg

We're looking for your boss... on business

Oh, you're here on business? Yes...

I'm boss here. They call me Money Bags

Oh! So you're Mr. Money Bags!

Just call me Money Bags

What's mine is yours

My trademark is reliability

Believe in me and you'll never be disappointed

One dollar and ten-thousand are welcome!

That's enough! I'm here for your help!

I want a refund!

A refund?

My father transferred cash through your bank to me

But I never got it!

Yes! You damn scrooge

Watch your mouth!

Look here, do you see what I'm wearing?

See what's on my wrist and in my teeth?

Do you think I need anything from you?

Do you think anyone would believe you?

No one believes?

I have a proof with me!

Shhh...!

What do you mean Shhh... We've done nothing!

Let's keep this among ourselves!

Let's go inside and talk!

Please!

The Great Old Scrooge?

That's right!

These things are my family jewels

Knockers?

Yes, but don't be mistaken they have great meaning!

The left ring won't open the right ring gives less

What about the one in the middle?

It's my greatest fortune!

To guarantee that I'll never need to refund money

I have three conditions here: First, I pay on no definite date

Second, not within my life time

Third, definitely not in the near future

Stop avoiding the issue!

If you don't pay, your body will!

I'll push!

What kind of kung-fu is that?

Kung-fu of Push!

Look at me!

Don't lose face!

Tiger's claw!

Even a tiger can be pushed!

I'll push your elbow!

And your jaw

I'll push to the left then to the right!

I'll butt you!

And throw you upon the altar!

I'll leave you onto the clouds

Father... can't make it!

Not your father but you can't make it!

Both of you can...

come in standing but go out on your asses

I push!

I want to puke!

I push!

Why don't you use your other shoulder?

Good!

Push

Poke out your eyes!

This is the money you borrowed on January 15th

If it's not yours it shouldn't be in your pocket

I'll just take back my Ching Ming money!

Back with the Dragon-boat Festival money!

It's real gold

Where's my necklace? Gone?

Prosperity finds its own way!

Goddess, please help me!

You can't get that

Can't I? It hurts

We both have red noses now!

I push!

Hercules lifts the shit bucket!

Sits on the shit bucket!

Now I'll stuff you into the shit bucket! My head!

Final kick!

You can't pull it out!

Have a cup of tea, father!

Money Bags' kung-fu is incredible!

It's not that he's so good it's just you're so bad

That's right! But if you'd teach me I'd be all right!

Teach you what? Drunken Fist!

Drunken Fist?

You're stupid and you lack talent

yet you still want to study Drunken Fist?

You must be dreaming!

Mother taught me a little bit she said I'm okay!

Foggy, show him some of your techniques!

Okay!

It's not broken!

It's not broken

It's broken now

Even I couldn't recognize this Drunken Fist!

Old bag, you sure can teach!

Never mind, you'll teach him anyway

You must take him as a student!

You're forcing me!

I have to teach you Drunken Fist?

You must be dreaming!

I'm leaving

Waiter! Check please!

Give me a fish! Coming!

That'll be $1.25! Thanks!

So expensive? You sure there's no mistake?

No, that table was included!

Father!

What are you doing here?

Mother asked me to follow you!

You wait here, I have to take a piss!

Such a dumb kid, want to follow me?

He won't!

You want to shake me off huh?

No way!

Go tell your mother I'm here waiting for her!

Father, don't go!

Mother says you must teach me Drunken Fist!

Drunken Fist?

It's difficult to learn

I'm not afraid of hard work!

Really?

That's right! I can take it!

Okay, I'll teach you then!

Now I'll teach you the Spinning Earth and Sky Method!

I'm smart and I learn fast!

Okay. Get ready

Fist back!

Leg's in horse-stance!

Punch with your left!

Punch holds the cup

Catch your ear!

Point to the sky!

Point at the ground!

Turn right!

Turn quicker! Hurry...!

Stop!

Come over here and take this cup!

Now isn't the Earth and Sky Spinning huh?

Yes, it is...!

Work harder

Father, I'm so tired

Tired? You can take a rest anytime

Killing me?

Father, how's my kung-fu now?

Good

for nothing!

When will you teach me to fight?

Three days? So soon?

Three years!

Another three years?

One year for horse-stance one year for the dummy

You're more stupid than most therefore one extra year

Come on! First drink up!

Drink? I can't drink one sip makes me drunk!

I can't drink!

If you want to learn you've got to drink

It's not poison, drink!

Father!

You shouldn't drink

if you get drunk so easy!

Silly boy!

Piss a puddle and look at yourself now

My wife's support won't make you my student

You must be dreaming!

You're a damn moron without an ounce of talent

You still want to learn? Dog shit! You couldn't begin!

You think I'd teach you everyday

I'd spin you in circles and you wouldn't know!

I'd make a monkey out of you

You still want to talk about Drunken Fist?

That kid gets up so early for practice?

Where is my another shoe?

Father, I was just a parentless child

I'm grateful that mother took me in

I'm very grateful and will never forget you

Mother said I must wait for you to teach me

You came, but I never guessed you wouldn't accept me

I know I'm stupid an idiot without talent

Father, you don't like me so I'm leaving

I won't anger you by bothering you again

Mother says you should come home more often, Foggy!

You moron wasn't your son following you?

He's not here, why are you asking me?

Old woman, if I don't ask you who should I ask?

If you ask me, who should I ask?

Now where could that kid be?

There's a real nutcase outside who won't leave

He looks like a dead worm

What can you do about a guy who won't go?

You'd better force him to leave

Me? How can I do that?

Get pissed off enough and he'll go!

I can't do it! You can!

No... Get pissed off and he'd go automatically!

Piss off? Yes!

Piss off

Hey, sir, anything else? The kitchen's closing!

If you want something else it's too late now!

Don't you know Cantonese?

Can you say something?

The check? Thank you!

Hey, you talk too much!

Old man, we must close Please come tomorrow!

Master!

Inn keeper Could you find someone for me?

Have you ever heard about Beggar So?

You want Beggar So?

All the kids know him

So popular!

His kung-fu is well-known!

Do you know where he is now?

Watching a dragon's head is only momentary

He's a strange one, and hard to catch!

What do you want him for?

You want him to teach you Drunken Fist?

You're too old. You still had a chance if you'd come decades before!

Without a tiger on the mountain even a monkey reigns

He's never tasted my Northern Drunken Fist

Northern Drunken Fist?

Inn keeper, Giver me two rooms! Okay!

Also, order one coffin for Beggar So!

What's the matter got ants in your pants?

Waiter! Give me a basin of water!

Waiter!

Water? I get you water? Ask your wife to do so!

Hey kid, you've got a very sharp tongue

Not really!

I heard you ordered a coffin

So what?

One won't be enough

What'd you said?

I'd say two men in one coffin is a bit tight!

Well, you can use it first

Drunken Fist?

Good observation!

Who is Beggar So to you?

I call him father but he won't call me son

I call him master but he won't call me student

So it's difficult to say anything!

I don't care master, son; father, or student

Where is Beggar So?

You've found the right man!

I won't tell you I'll let you sweat a bit!

If you don't talk I'll teach you to talk

Let your horses loose!

It looks the same!

Look more closely, it's not the same!

Lui, the sober drunkard

Holding it that way your wine will spill!

That's right!

You've learnt Drunken Fist?!

It's not the same

The gods toast you!

I toast!

You need not toast Save it for yourself!

Did you learn your kung-fu from your Master's wife?

Why are you so weak?

I'll show you some power!

Where's Beggar So? Tell me quickly!

You're a stubborn one!

I'll let you go, if you tell me!

Kill me and I wouldn't tell you!

Let him go! Master!

Master

Let him go, he'll lead us to Beggar So

Foggy!

Old Man I've waited a long time for you!

Who are you?

I'm called Rubber Legs!

Glad to meet you!

On a clear moon, wine brings a clear day

Old man drinking alone brings tranquility!

Master So, why don't we drink together?

Good! As long as there's wine I'll join you!

Here's to you!

White wine, not bad... I'll toast you first

Thanks very much!

You can always spot a kung-fu man by the way he moves!

Don't flatter me!

I never dreamed my waist was so flexible!

You should take care of yourself!

Thanks!

Please don't belittle yourself!

Rubber Legs, I'll drink one for you!

Don't be so polite!

If I'm so polite, I wouldn't be here!

Don't flatter me!

Never refuse a good cup of wine!

Well, I won't stand on ceremony then

Keep your vessel full whatever life may bring

Before I drink I ask the time of the full moon!

Don't waste it, drink it

Rubber Legs you've walked half of this planet

just to have a drink with me?

Beggar So's Drunken Fist is a legend in itself

I for once, would like to open my eyes

It's nothing much at all

But lucky that I've never been defeated!

There's a saying that a man never knows his weaknesses. Right?

Nothing more worthy than a stiff drink! Cheers!

I'll listen to a man I respect!

A thousand drinks with you wouldn't be enough!

Half a word with you would be too much

You won't even let me save your face

Drunkenness is an excuse to fools

Old man, don't be so piss!

I gave you the best I have and you spilt it!

Eat alone and starve drink alone and be thirsty

With a cup of wine, the sky is mine

There's nothing more to say then

Tso, the desperate throat lock

The 8 Drunken Gods, lying on a cloud!

Toast of the 18 deities!

Lan, a sudden attack at the waist

I'll toast you with my foot!

Chan, the superior double kick

Rubber Legs, now you can open your eyes!

Beggar So you live up to your reputation!

Not really

Han

limping with a moving jug!

The Drunken Mantis?

Drunken Mantis snatches the cicadas

Old man you should be ashamed of yourself!

Drunken Mantis grabs your ass!

Meeting me has been your misfortune

Because you'll lose this time!

Auntie Ho, swinging her body around with the sexy hips!

Go to hell!

My ass!

A woman's fist is useless!

Killing me?

I'll add a little wine to prepare for your death

Go

Go, father

Father! Wake up?

Old man, how are you feeling?

What are you all doing here?

Doing here? You've been unconscious for several days!

I was just sleeping! I'm okay

At your age, after such a beating you're still conceited

Get your father his medicine!

What's the rush? Hell awaits for you?

There's no help for you now!

Are you a man or ghost? You almost scared me to death

A man or ghost, I'm whatever you wish

Most people say I'm a sick corpse!

I take a ghost to know a ghost

Waiting in a coffin to scare people!

Give the medicine back to me

On my foot

This medicine will cure me

I don't care if you die It's not for you!

You old sick bastard if you weren't dying anyway

I would fix you. Give it back to me!

I gave it back already!

Where is it?

On your right side!

My right side?

Left side, right side!

It's not there!

Isn't my right side your left side?

My left side?

Here it is!

You're pretty smart, so I'll spare you!

You sick old bastard, come out!

Come out!

Is he really dead?

Why do you always like to scare people?

Hey kid, can't you look for someone more quietly?

Next time I'll set it on fire!

Why did you change my medicine?

Are you trying to poison my father?

Is your father dead then?

He's not dead, but...

He has the shits before? Right!

Afterwards, did he clench his fists and finally go to sleep?

Right... Just like that!

I guess that's all, you can go back!

Wait! Now it's okay but what about later?

If something happens, come back again!

After he dies, won't it be too late?

No

then I could become your father

Damn it, you still want to take advantage of me?

If you sickness doesn't kill you someone will!

So, you want my life, huh!

Hey, your anger will only destroy your liver!

You're all-round problematic

Your pulse isn't normal lacks both blood and oxygen!

Dizziness and fogged vision!

You must have bad indigestion!

Without a doctor's help you'd have died at birth!

My bones are very solid!

You'll be stiffer after death!

Oh my hip!

Don't worry I specialize in healing hips!

Okay

God! My head is killing me!

Headache?

Twist your head a bit!

My neck becomes stiff

Stiff...

That feels great!

Tell me where else it hurts!

I'll mix ten medicines for you

I'm not sick but pissed off!

Take this

The mixture I just gave you

will fix all ails you have!

Sickness?

My mother used to tell me about the Four Ills:

Books, Magic, Sickness, and Wine You must be Sickness!

Today is your day of enlightenment!

Sickness, should I call you uncle then?

You should have called me earlier Never mind!

Uncle, I've heard you four brothers have good kung-fu

Is that a lie or what?

Bullshit? Dog shit, or horse shit?

A lie wouldn't be that easy

Books, Magic, Sickness, and Wine are all talents!

Books? I'd probably get lost in them!

Idiot!

But there's no book!

Calm yourself down and you'll reach a higher level

Concentrate all your power into your fingers

A bowl can weigh a thousand pounds!

A writing brush can flash like a snake!

And write with a steel rod on granite! That seems funny

The moon is in the willows and the sun has set

No fun!

Magic!

Walk the octagon!

Follow Ying and Yang!

Separate good from evil!

Separate fortune and misfortune!

Shit! I almost lost my fortune!

Not yet. There's a lot more!

What about Wine?

Wine is your stupid father!

Wine is his life, he never parts with it

He thinks his Drunken Fist will conquer the world!

Uncle of you four brothers whose kung-fu is the best?

Of course, your father is the first!

The best?

Foreigners read Chinese

What?

They read it backwards!

Books, Magic, Sickness, and Wine the last comes first!

You're right No wonder he couldn't beat Rubber Legs

Drunken Fist has two styles but the same basis

Northern Drunken Fist's champion is Rubber Legs

He's very cunning

Uses Drunken Fist mixed with Mantis style

Drunken Mantis of Rubber Legs

Claw, hook, snatch, tack pick, bump, lean can all kill!

Rubber Legs is very dangerous

but with my special kung-fu

hand to hand, he's no match!

Special kung-fu?

I use feel, lock, grab, and envelop

Close up!

These five methods are inexhaustible

I'm at least his equal!

Can you teach me your kung-fu?

You?

I know there's no chance to study

Father always says I'm stupid and lack talent

You shouldn't be so pessimistic

I can cure your problem!

You can teach me?

But you mustn't let your father know!

When it hurts, stop!

No problem!

Good! Your breath has set the stove on fire!

Uncle, the medicine is ready!

Lower, I want to take the pot

Lower

Uncle I feel weak!

If you want revenge you must try to be strong!

Uncle, are you making beancured stew for us to eat?

I'm going to stuff you until you're sick!

Catch!

That's just wasting it!

Not if you can catch it!

It's all broken!

It won't break if you catch it right!

Uncle, you always cheat me!

Beancurd is too soft I don't believe you can catch it

To catch it without breaking you need skill

Two in one, then there's control!

You're having the beancurd stew!

Imitate me!

Do it!

You must combine

Use power to crush and flashing speed in order to succeed

Power? Speed?

You must appear like you're very sick

But your spirit controls your breath!

Your breath gives power to your fist!

Giving you incredible strength!

Why is this beancurd so smelly?

It's the Smelly Beancurd!

You want to die?

Come, practice Mantis Fist with me!

I'm busy, you screw ball

At your age, still not suffer enough?

I'll practise by myself then!

Where you going?

I haven't seen you, where have you been?

What's the matter?

Don't say I didn't teach you try my Mantis!

Watch you! Don't rip the book, father!

I'm going to help mother with dinner!

It's got to be a trick of that Old Sick Bastard!

Beggar So, you got away last time!

Let's see how you'll escape now!

Escape? Why should I escape?

I'm better at the Drunken Mantis than you

Come on!

Almost dead, and you're still so proud

Well, your family can accompany you

Who're you looking for?

You look like a debt collector!

I don't collect debts, I collect lives

Whose life?

Beggar So, or his son will do

You're crazy!

You're very proud!

So you must be very tough!

Let's fight

Try me!

I'll kill you in three moves!

Face the sun!

Your ass faces the sun!

Reverse strike!

You're struck now!

Third move, the Killing Spear!

So what will you do next?

Hold it!

Oh! It's you. You came voluntarily!

So what?

If you didn't find me I'd have found you!

You know him?

Not only recognize him but his ashes also

He attacked father and I before

If it weren't for my master you'd be dead now

Hey, I'm different now!

Be careful!

You think I'm afraid of him?

I'll make you into beancurd!

Watch it, my spear isn't always accurate

I'll rub your face

If not for my shoe the point will stick your throat!

I'm going to beat you like a dog!

Don't joke! Kill me if you dare!

After my master takes care of your father, you're next

Father!

Master So, this is for you

Hey, drunkard, good thing I saved you!

Sick Bastard it's none of your business!

You think I'm not good enough and need you?

Beggar So, so you need some help, huh?

Don't worry, I'll just talk

I won't help him!

I've never asked for help

It's none of my business!

Drunken Bastard watch out for his Drunken Mantis Kick!

You think I don't know, get lost!

You don't need me to teach you, right?

We'll see the results soon enough!

Drunken Bastard you still have one more move!

What move?

Run quickly!

Go drop dead yourself!

Father, are you okay?

Is that old guy bothering you?

I'm alright!

You sot, here comes my student!

Let me handle him for you!

You want to die?

I can't even handle him What? You want to die?

Go ahead...!

You dare challenge me after losing to my student?

Okay, I'll send you both to hell!

Before bragging look whose spear I've got?

I've cripple your student

He's a basket-case!

Don't let me lose face

Now, show them what you can do!

Uncle, I won't disappoint you!

If I catch your hand you'll never get away!

Checking your pulse!

The drunkard takes off his coat!

My hip is a bit sore!

That's right, you hit the right spot!

Now you're checking my reflexes, huh?

You're feeling dizzy, huh? Let me see what's wrong!

Headache, huh? Let me check it!

Your leg hurts? I'll fix it!

Constipated, huh? I'll help you shit!

Heart trouble? Let me listen to it

What? Your heart has stopped!

That's my hand!

Watch it he'll use the Drunken Mantis next

Mantis? I'll squash you like a locust!

I told you before you'd be beaten up this time

You're going to die before your time!

Locust huh? Now who's the locust?

Go be sere! A horse without a bit is uncontrollable

Don't waste your breath on idiots!

You crazy or what? I'm your father!

Now the shoe is on the other foot!