All language subtitles for Parks.and.Recreation.S07E12-E13.One.Last.Ride.Producers.Cut.1080p.FLAC.2.0.AVC.REMUX-FraMeSToR

I can't believe

you got everyone

to show us this early.

Well, today is our last day

we'll all be together.

I need to savor every

moment we have left.

I brought comfort food,

scrapbooks and tissues.

Good Lord.

Well, today

should be perfect.

And any perfect day

involves crying

uncontrollably.

Which

brings us to 2005.

The Circle Park

renovation was complete,

and a young man named

Thomas Haverford

was still two years away

from getting hired.

Perhaps we could skip ahead,

and just hit the highlights?

I mean, I planned

a comprehensive

retrospective,

but I guess I can

just focus on the really

important moments.

Ah! The debate about

getting a pod-based

coffee machine.

Garry and I wrote

a little musical

number about that.

And it goes a little

something like this.

Why can't we just

quickly shake hands,

pretend we liked

each other,

and get out of here?

I'm all for that.

No, April, Ron,

we need to

celebrate everything

that we've done

together as a group.

This is our last day here.

Who knows when

we'll all be together

like this again?

Excuse me. Hi.

There's a swing in

a park near my house

that's been broken

for about three months.

Is it possible

to get that fixed?

"Anything is possible,

if you follow your dreams."

Johnny Karate.

Except getting a swing fixed.

None of us actually

work here anymore.

Come back in two hours

when the office is open.

Thank you.

Wait.

Actually, sir, we can help.

We can, and we will.

Because when

we used to work here,

helping people

was our job.

Forget about

these old stories.

Let's make a new one.

Let's fix the swing.

One last ride for

the Parks and Rec gang.

Who's in?

Yeah!

The vote was four to three

Donna said to get rid of me

But Ron was suspicious

Because my coffee

was delicious

Come on, Garry.

You're the mayor now.

Have some dignity.

Okay. So,

first things first.

Ben, I need you to cancel

that 11:00 a.m. flight

to Washington, D.C.

'cause we have

too much work here.

Yup. I figured something

like this would happen

so I booked us

a backup flight at 6:00.

I love you. You're perfect.

You get me. I'm so glad

I'm married to you.

I cannot wait

to fix that swing

so we can get your

little butt right in to it.

I know it's weird.

Whatever. It motivates me.

Okay. So, what is

our first step

What do we do on our quest

to help this man?

Does anyone remember?

Yes.

A Parks and Recreation

equipment requisition form.

Correct! Five points

for Hufflepuff.

Well, everything

is paperless now.

And none of us

has a login.

So we can't access

the computers.

Hang on.

I have one right here.

Thanks to

Leslie's scrapbook,

"Thanks Form

the Memories".

I knew those

scrapbooks were going

to come in handy.

You came through

like you always do.

God, I'm going

to miss you.

Your confidence,

your joie de vivre.

That crazy story

about you getting

kicked out of En Vogue.

Technically,

I kicked them out.

When do you leave

for Seattle?

Soon as I get my local

real estate license.

I'm married to a teacher,

and I love the man,

but I also love

diamond watches.

Well, whatever happens,

I know that you are

going to live an

exciting and full life.

Thirty-four hundred

square feet,

a beautiful view

of Puget Sound,

and if you look

out this window,

you can watch them build

the new Space Haystack

around the Space Needle.

Wow. I can hardly see

the needle anymore.

I know, that's kind of

the point.

So, what are we thinking?

Wow.

It sold in two hours?

You cannot beat

the Seattle

real estate market.

I think it's all that coffee

and legal marijuana,

has people wanting

to buy houses quickly

and irrationally.

Mmm.

But the giant

commission check has

me thinking about...

Mmm-hmm?

Donna-Joe Adventure Quest.

Ooh! Where are we going?

Well, it can't

beat last year.

I mean, Middle Korea

is so beautiful.

Here's my idea.

The Amazon.

Oh!

Three weeks of

the best and most

expensive places

South America

has to offer.

I love it.

Honestly, with the way

work is going,

I just need this right now.

The school cut

the math club.

And math.

They just don't

teach math anymore.

Oh.

My poor little

do-gooder teacher baby.

Why don't we

cuddle up on the couch,

watch a movie,

and then maybe later,

I'll wear that

little red thing?

Yes, the red thing.

Here, let me get this.

Call Satan's Niece.

Hey, what do you want?

And this is me

DJing a boat party

in Venezuela.

Kind of reminded me

of the two weeks

you and I spent there.

Oh, yeah. That happened.

Yeah, it did.

April! What are you

doing here?

Babe, have a seat.

What's going on?

Recently, I was thinking,

for the millionth time,

how lucky I am

to have found you.

So, I've decided

to treat yo' self.

You're going to

buy me a bunch of

leather handbags?

Donna is going to

take some of the money

you usually use

on your trips

and establish

an education program

through the foundation

I work for.

It's called

Teach Yo' Self.

And you and

the other teachers

will get money for

after-school programs.

For music, art, math,

whatever you want.

Baby, this is

really generous.

But I love our trips.

And honestly,

it's your money.

You should spend it

how you want.

This is what I want.

I've had a lot

of adventures.

I single-handedly

started that doorknockers

earring trend.

I came in ninth

in Italy's Got Talent.

Yeah.

I served on

a NASCAR pit crew.

I want a new

kind of adventure,

and I want to

take it with you.

Okay, I feel like

it's time for me

to get out of here.

What is this mess?

Why are you

all in my office?

I am calm.

I am grateful. I am Craig.

We are on one last mission

to help the people of Pawnee.

Craig, can you sign

the requisition form?

It will speed things up.

You know, Craig,

when I first met you,

I thought,

"There is a man

who loves his job."

And then I thought,

"Oh, wow, he's intense."

And then I thought,

"Oh, no, he's insane.

"That person is psychotic,

and I need to

call the police."

Yeah, that's usually

the way it goes.

But I just think

you've come so far.

And I'm so glad

that we are leaving

the Parks Department

in your hands.

Funny though it's true

Those silly things you do

They only bring me

Closer to you

My name is

Craig Middlebrooks,

I'm the part-time sommelier

here at Tom's Bistro,

and I'm a very good singer!

Nice crooning, buddy.

The gentleman

over by the bar there

sent you over

this glass of wine,

and his business card.

Okay. So,

as you all know...

Okay, fine.

We are gathered here today

to join Craig Middlebrooks

and Typhoon Montalban

in holy matrimony.

I don't know about this.

I'm very scared.

Oh, just relax,

you nervous nelly.

You're right.

We love each other,

and the tax break

is substantial.

Will the best man

please present the rings?

Good luck, you two.

Typhoon, my love,

happy anniversary.

Do you have any regrets?

Not one. Not a single one.

Do you have any regrets?

Are you kidding?

Thousands!

Most recently,

this trout!

Okay! April and Andy,

I need to file this.

Would anyone like

to accompany me

to the fourth floor?

One last journey

to the weirdest place

on earth? Yes.

Shotgun!

We're just taking

the elevator.

I get to push buttons.

I called it.

Okay.

He called it.

Yeah, I know. I heard.

Ethel Beavers.

We need this filed, please.

We've gone digital.

Get with the times,

you Luddite.

Man. Of all the places

in Pawnee,

I'm going to miss

the fourth floor the most.

The disturbing murals,

the ominous lighting,

the creepy people.

Hi, April.

I'm going to miss

the food in Pawnee.

Taco Bell, KFC, Pizza Hut.

But most of all,

I'm going to

miss you, Leslie.

Oh, Andy,

all of those things,

including me,

will still be with you

in Washington.

That is a beautiful sentiment.

I just want to say

that we are about

to embark on

an amazing adventure.

And whatever happens,

just know that

Ben and I are always

there for you.

Mmm.

Agent Macklin,

I need you.

Some thieves are

trying to steal

the legendary

Snakehole Sapphire.

What the... No!

That sapphire has

the power to activate

the Cuban Missile Crisis.

Miss Snakehole,

listen to me very carefully.

You are in grave danger.

In order to survive,

you must do

everything I tell you.

Damn it, Macklin,

I love it when you

take charge.

I must have you.

I know it's against protocol

but make love to me, you fool!

You animal!

Wait, seriously? 'Cause I

will do that right now.

Okay. Raincheck that,

all right?

They're here.

Trick or treat!

Oh, look at them!

Here you go,

you little monsters!

I love this.

You guys are the best.

My love, we have to go.

Just put all the candy

in a bowl or something.

What's wrong?

Did you eat all the candy?

No!

Did you?

Yes,

but that's not

what's wrong.

It's just... Seeing all

those kids out there...

Babe.

I want to put

a babe in you, babe.

Andy, you know

where I stand on this.

Yes, I would love

all the awesome stuff

my body

would go through.

I mean, if all it meant

was puking

and getting

weird stretch marks

and veins everywhere,

then sign me up.

But at the end,

we've brought a child

into the world?

That's disgusting.

No. They wipe all of

the disgusting stuff

off of it immediately.

I want a little April.

Or even a little boy April.

I know, I just can't

wrap my head around it.

We're going to be

late for dinner.

Okay.

Let's go.

Hey!

Come on in.

Hey! Always nice

to see Janet Snakehole

and Burt Macklin

in the mix.

What are you guys

dressed as?

Oh, I'm Sandra

Dee O'Connor. Get it?

Sandra Dee plus

Sandra Day O'Connor?

Who's Sandra Dee?

Who's Sandra Day O'Connor?

Forget it.

And I am the Lamplighter,

a character from

my new board game sequel,

Cones of Dunshire,

Winds of Tremorrah.

Gameplay Magazine called it

"punishingly intricate."

Wow, Ben, that is so cool.

That is such a cool

thing to dress up as.

You know, April,

I know you think

Cones is lame

but if you played just once,

I promise you that

you would love it.

All right, let's play.

Really?

No.

Hey, where are the kids at?

I want to say hi

and wrestle all three

of them at once.

Oh, they're trick-or-treating

in Georgetown

with some friends.

It's just us grown-ups

tonight. No kids at all.

Hey, Andy,

why don't you give me

a hand in the kitchen?

So? What do you

need a hand with?

Oh, no, I just thought

you might want to talk.

Whoa!

Dude, that's really slick.

Man, that's some

secret agent stuff

right there.

So, April's still on

the fence about kids, huh?

Yeah, and I'm

freaking out, man.

I want kids so bad.

You know, yesterday,

I was at the park,

and I saw this group

of eight-year-olds

laughing and playing

and having a good time.

I almost started crying.

Granted,

I had just face-planted

on my rollerblades.

That's what they

were laughing at.

Sure.

It was emotional.

You know April.

She has to come

to it in her own time.

She'll get there.

What if she doesn't?

Take one of our kids.

We don't need all three.

Oh, my God, Ben.

Thank you.

Oh, no, no, I was kidding.

Yeah.

All right, go ahead.

What?

You're going to

lecture me about how

Andy and I

should have kids.

You're going to be like,

"They're so great.

They change your life.

"And yes, they drive you nuts,

but it's all worth it

"for the beauty and

the majesty and the glory

"of their little faces

in the morning."

Blah, blah, blah and barf.

You know why

it's so unfair?

Because you guys

got so lucky.

You had sex one time

and you had three kids

and they're all,

like, smart and great

and healthy.

You think that's the

only time we had sex?

Yes.

And now,

your lives are perfect.

But our life is

pretty perfect already.

And you know what?

Kids act the opposite

of their parents.

That's why your

kids are so cool.

But Andy and I are

cool already,

so our kids will be, like,

really lame and weird.

I'm sorry.

I just don't know

what to do.

Please tell me what to do.

What do I do?

It's not about trying to

make your life perfect.

Nobody's lives are perfect.

You have kids

because you and

Andy are a team,

and you want to bring in

some new team members.

So, you think we should?

I don't know

if you should have kids.

I really don't.

But I do like your team.

All right, Ms. Ludgate.

We're getting close.

Babe, you look more

beautiful right now

than I have ever seen you.

Wow.

Just your luck that

you're going into labor

on Halloween.

Can I get a warm

towel to get that

makeup off?

No! I want it on.

That's the whole point.

I put the makeup on

after I went into labor.

Whatever blows your skirt up.

Okay. You ready to push?

Wait, no, babe,

my birth mix.

Oh.

He did the mash...

Here comes a contraction.

Are you ready?

Okay, I'm ready.

Let's do this.

It was a graveyard smash

He did the mash

It caught on in a flash

He did the mash

He did the monster mash

From the laboratory

in the castle east...

Burt Macklin Junior?

Mmm, we need

a Halloween angle.

How about Demon Spawn

Baby Satan Dwyer?

Oh, I like that.

Yeah. Or maybe,

Burt Snakehole Ludgate

Karate Dracula

Macklin Demon

Jack-o'-Lantern Dwyer.

We call him Jack

for short.

What a beautiful baby.

His name is Jack.

Strong name.

Listen, when you get a chance,

will you sign these

documents for me?

I'll be back.

Oh, hey... Hold on

a second. Dr. S.

Yes?

Hey.

It says on here that

the baby was born

November 1st, 12:06 a.m.

I was wondering if you

could change that

to 11:59 on Halloween.

No can do.

You know, I'm a doctor.

I have certain

ethical responsibilities.

Yeah, I get it, it's just

that Halloween is very

important to my wife,

so could you please just

mark down that the baby

was born on Halloween?

I'll give you a good

review on Yelp.

I can't.

Doctor, listen to me

very carefully.

I don't know who you are

or what you want,

but I have a particular

set of skills.

Skills that I have acquired

over a very long career.

Skills that make

me a nightmare

for people like you.

Is that the monolog

from Taken?

My son was born on Halloween.

Do you understand?

Yes, I do.

That's awesome.

Thank you.

Yeah, congratulations.

Yeah.

Hey. Hi. Oh, I want to scream,

but I don't want to

wake up my godchild.

I'm assuming

it's my godchild, right?

We can talk about it later.

Congrats, guys.

I know it came

unexpectedly early,

but pretty cool

he was born in Pawnee.

Where do I put these?

I have so many presents,

it's weird.

Yes!

Oh, for the baby?

Just put them over there.

What's his name?

Jack.

That's good.

Welcome to the team,

little guy.

Take this down

to maintenance.

I know just where

to take it, Ethel.

And I know just the person

who should accompany me.

I'm a little busy

right now.

Not you, Kyle.

How many times did

you and I deliver

a form to maintenance,

just like this?

Oh, so many

great conversations,

bonding and

mentoring moments.

It seems only right

that we make this journey

one final time.

What was that, boo-boo?

Nothing.

Ohhh!

Tommy T and

Sexy Lexy Knope.

What are you two

bad Larrys up to?

Well, this is our

last day in Pawnee

and we have one

last problem to fix.

Hold up. You're leaving?

For truth?

I am going to

miss you so much.

What's going on?

You're not injured?

Uh, yeah, I'm injured.

I got a terminal case

of "get me to the front

of the line at Six Flags!"

Sha-boosh!

It's a winter wonderland!

I'm gonna be so sad

to see you go.

Because I finagled my way

onto your family phone plan.

And when you leave,

that all goes away from me.

Jean-Ralphio...

Hush, child. Hush,

hush, hush, hush.

Will you do me

one final kindness?

Will you pretend

to be my wife for

an insurance scam,

but then we fall

in love for real?

Also, can I have a pair

of your gym socks?

And don't worry.

It's not for anything weird.

It's just a fetish I have.

Jean-Ralphio.

Yeah.

Although I truly hope that

I never see you again,

I do wish you

a long and happy life.

Today

we say goodbye

to Jean-Ralphio Saperstein.

As per his last will

and testament,

we will now listen

to his favorite song,

Bend Over,

by Lil Jon featuring Tyga.

Bend over make your knees

touch your elbows

Bend over make your knees

touch your elbows

Whoo! Okay, okay,

they bought it.

They bought it.

Do you have

the insurance money?

No doubt, no doubt.

Let's hit it, bro.

Time to start

a casino in...

Uh, Tajikistan

Down in the ground

Talking about Tajikistan!

Shh, shh, shh.

This is the best idea

you've ever had.

No, no, no.

This is God's idea.

I'm just the vessel.

When you sneak out of here,

do not be suspicious.

Don't be suspicious.

Don't be suspicious.

Don't, don't be suspicious

Don't, don't be suspicious

Don't, don't be suspicious

Don't, don't be suspicious

Don't, don't be suspicious

Don't, don't be suspicious

Don't be suspicious

Don't be suspicious

Don't be suspicious

Don't be suspicious

Don't be suspicious

Don't be suspicious

Don't be suspicious

Don't be suspicious

Jean-Ralphio?

Go! Go, go, go, go!

Tajikistan or die!

Tajikistan or die!

Tajikistan or die!

Tajikistan or die!

So... Tom and I

have a swing to fix.

Let's go.

Leslie? I've always

loved you.

I know.

There's my bestie.

Hey, Jamm.

I'm glad I'm catching you

before you jet.

Got a little parting

gift for you.

Horrifying.

Yeah, Yoko had

a real killer bod,

just like you.

I'm gonna miss you, Les.

You know, in a way,

I'm gonna miss you, too, Jamm.

Good luck with whatever

you decide to do.

Hey!

Arigato. Arigato.

Arigato, Daytona Beach.

Hey, be good.

Okay.

Oh, man, I forgot

that maintenance

was closed on Fridays.

What would our last ride

be without one more

bureaucratic snafu?

Don't worry, boo-boo.

Tommy will solve

this problem, no sweat.

Can I just say, Tom,

you have accomplished

so much,

you have come so far,

now you're so successful...

Don't forget well-dressed.

Yes, and well-dressed.

I am so very proud of you.

Thanks, Leslie.

I'm proud of me, too.

Nice crooning, buddy.

Uh, the gentleman

by the bar there

sent you over

this glass of wine,

and his business card.

Okay. So, as you all know,

Tom's Bistro

has been presented

with a huge

expansion opportunity,

and I don't want to

make a decision until

I hear from my senior

advisory board.

So, is this a good idea?

Accounting Nerd.

I'm a congressman, Tom.

Can you at least

call me Ben?

No can do, Accounting Nerd.

We all knew you before

you were a big shot.

Let's keep the whining

to a minimum.

Well, there are always

going to be risks

when you open

new restaurants.

But you've done

your homework.

All the numbers line up.

Side-note,

I would again strongly

recommend adding

calzones to the menu.

Hey, all my data suggests

that the country's

definitely trending calzone.

The worst. Ron?

It's a bold capitalistic

gambit, son.

But nothing ventured,

nothing gained.

Regal Meagle?

Real estate is pretty

cheap right now.

If you're going to do it,

this is a good time.

Okay. I'm doing it.

Over the next five years,

there's going to be 20

Tom's Bistros across America.

Look out, world.

Tommy's about to blow up.

And blow up he did,

but not in a good way.

He lost everything.

Today, Tom Haverford

is broke, destitute.

And worst of all, swaggerless.

Tommy, you've got

to stop watching this.

I can't tear myself away.

It's a whole documentary

about my failures.

That you made!

I had to. I have to

remember every tiny

awful aspect of this.

I lost everything, Lucy.

The franchises,

most of my money...

I had to sell my

pocket square collection!

What are people's eyes

going to be drawn to?

Look, you had

a tough break.

The stock market tanked,

credit dried up.

Who could have predicted

that the country

would run out of beef?

You've just got

to move on.

That's the problem, though.

I've gone bust in the past,

but it was because

I did something reckless.

This time,

I was smart and careful,

and I still went broke.

What do I do now?

Well, you and I

are going to be fine.

And you'll come up

with a new idea.

You always do.

Well, the cabin is not quite

as rustic as I would like.

Diane made me install

luxury items like

a driveway and faucets.

But it's yours

as long as you need it.

Ben and Leslie sent over

this gift basket for you.

No meat, I checked.

Thanks, Ron. Lucy's away

on business for a month,

so I'm just gonna

clear my head and get to work

on my next big project.

I'm glad to see you

pulling yourself up

off the mat.

What is this project?

I'm gonna write

a blockbuster action film.

You see 10 Fast 10 Furious:

Tokyo Drift 3?

I did not, no.

Well, you might be

the only one.

It made $2.9 billion.

Action movies

are cash cows.

All I gotta do

is churn one out

and let the money roll in.

What is this film about?

I have no idea.

But I have the perfect title.

Sniper Race Delta:

Beijing Inferno.

I know you have had

a rough go of it,

and you can spend your time

however you like.

But whatever you write

is gonna have your name on it.

At least make it something

you're proud of.

Good luck, son.

I once started

an entertainment company.

It failed in four months.

I opened a clothing

rental store.

I built a restaurant empire.

They all failed.

But the story of America

isn't about second

or third chances.

It's about fourth,

fifth, sixth, twentieth,

fiftieth chances.

That's how long it took me

to get where I am today.

Bestselling author of...

Failure:

An American Success Story.

As you know

if you've read the book,

I've outlined seven

different types

of successful people.

You can be an Andy.

An April.

A Ben.

A Leslie.

A Ron.

A Donna.

Or my personal favorite.

A Tom.

But what do we definitely

not want to be?

A Garry!

That's right.

Do not be a Garry.

He's talking about me.

Hey.

Hey!

Thanks so much

for coming, guys.

Are you kidding?

Tom, this is incredible.

A bestselling book,

a 40-city tour.

Well, I couldn't have

done it without you.

Well, the book is

called Failure.

I don't know

how to take that.

I'm serious.

You guys have

always supported me.

Here, I inscribed

you a copy.

"When I think of success,

I think of you.

"You are a true

inspiration to me.

"I love you.

Tom Haverford."

Oh, sorry, that's actually

for Kendrick Lamar.

Here's yours.

"Best wishes."

And I mean

every word of it.

So, how are we going

to fix this swing?

Hold a public forum?

Have a rally?

Smash that door

and do some looting?

Actually, I think

there's a simpler solution.

We just need

the help of the most

powerful man in Pawnee.

Jim, how the heck are you?

Yeah, look,

I hate to bother you,

but I'm here with

my two best friends,

Leslie Knope

and Tom Haverford.

Shh.

And we need the first-floor

maintenance room open.

Mmm. Okay, great.

And best to Louise

and the girls.

Okay, bye-bye.

You guys are all set.

Thank you, Mayor Gergich.

You really saved our butts.

I am so happy that

you get to be mayor.

Are you enjoying yourself?

Oh, are you kidding me?

Leslie, I know that

this is purely ceremonial

and it will be over in

just a couple of weeks,

but I just don't know

how my life

could get any

better than this.

In a turn of events

both shocking

and unexpected,

interim mayor

Garry Gergich

was officially

elected today,

thanks to a massive

write-in campaign.

Mayor Gergich,

what are your plans

for your first actual term?

Oh, geez. Uh,

you know what,

I have no idea, Perd.

I mean,

this is so crazy.

I just hope I do a good job,

and I promise

I'm going to try my best.

And faithfully

serve the people

of Pawnee, Indiana.

As President

of City Council,

I, Councilwoman

Brandi Maxxxx,

star of more than

11,000 adult films

in the last two years,

officially declare

Garry Gergich

Mayor of Pawnee, Indiana,

for the fourth time.

Thank you, Pawnee!

Okay, great.

Garry Gergich,

you are now mayor, again,

for the tenth time,

proving conclusively

that in these corporate

states of America,

it's the entrenched powers

who hold all the cards.

Thank you,

Councilman Morris.

Thank you, Pawnee!

Happy birthday,

my sweet, sweet husband.

We all love you so much.

I have had

the perfect life.

I have had

the perfect marriage.

Oh.

The perfect children

and the perfect

grandchildren

and great-grandchildren.

And I just want you to know

how much I love you.

Okay. Come on, everybody.

Say "Gergich."

Gergich!

Mayor Garry Gergich died

peacefully, in his sleep,

on his 100th birthday,

holding the hand of

his beloved wife, Gayle.

Mmm. Gayle looks amazing.

Yeah, yeah, I know.

He will now be given

the Indiana Notary

Society's highest honor,

the 21-Stamp Salute.

Rest in peace,

friend.

They spelled his name wrong

on the tombstone.

Close enough.

Hmm.

It's time to go.

Okay. How's this

for a headline?

"Still Swinging:

Parks Gang Reunites

for One Last Bang."

That's a little dirty.

Well, it's a headline,

Shauna. Sex sells.

Speaking of which,

how's your personal life?

Uh... Not great.

I met a guy online,

and we started chatting a lot,

and I really liked him,

but he turned out to be

a computer program

that a scientist invented

to test the gullibility

of human women.

Oh, boy.

Shauna, you're

a very nice person.

And although your life

has been filled with

romantic disasters

too horrific and

numerous to catalog,

I just want you to know

that I honestly believe

that you will find

happiness someday.

Excuse me. Ma'am?

Are you okay?

Oh, I'm fine.

I was supposed to

get married today,

but my fiancé left me

at the altar.

He texted me,

"Game running into overtime.

I'll try and stop by."

Oh. That sucks.

Yeah.

I'm really sorry you're sad.

Nobody should ever be sad.

You know what helps me

when I'm sad?

And I think it might

just help you, too.

What?

Gum.

My company makes it.

Thanks.

Okay. Would you two

like to exchange vows?

Shauna, I love you so much.

I can't believe we

just met five hours ago.

I know, right?

But I really love you.

You're so nice.

Remember how

you offered me gum

when I was sad?

Yes! I totally

remember that.

You're nice, too.

And so smart.

You're, like, the smartest

person I've ever met

in my whole life.

And so pretty.

I just want to

give you gum forever.

By the power vested in me

by the State of Indiana,

I now pronounce you

husband and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

Yeah!

We did it!

Totally! We did it!

You gotta throw

your thing.

Oh, yeah.

Ha!

Knope. Make yourself

useful and hand me

that crescent wrench.

Well...

Not bad craftsmanship, Ron.

It is perfect craftsmanship.

I calculate the cost

of my labor at $38.

I can send the bill to you?

So, you think

you're going to stick

around Pawnee?

Oh, I imagine so.

Not sure where I

would go, really.

Well, we're going to

come back here a lot.

You know what they say.

Don't be a stranger.

Despite the recent

financial crisis,

Very Good Building

Company will finish

fiscal year 2022 in

excellent financial shape,

thanks in large part

to the stewardship

of your chairman, Ron Swanson.

Mr. Chairman,

would you like to say

a few words?

I resign as chairman.

Effective immediately.

Uh, would you like

to explain why?

No.

Should we discuss

your retirement package?

Just give me whatever

the Board thinks is fair.

Agreed.

Best of luck.

Don't get emotional, Vaughn.

You're embarrassing yourself.

I'm sorry.

What just happened?

My brother resigned.

No sense dwelling on the past.

Any more new business?

Yeah. You need

a new chairman,

for starters.

I'll do it. Anything else?

Again, Lon, not how

corporate governance works.

Congressman.

Ron, what a surprise.

Please invite me inside.

This city reeks of swampland

and government overreach.

Great to see you as always.

Ron, your family is beautiful.

They are a handsome bunch.

Diane and I are

especially proud,

because Ivy was

just accepted

at Stanford University.

California?

Sunshine,

health food, surfing.

Your worst nightmares.

Congratulations.

It's a great school.

Yeah? It's going to

cost an arm and a leg.

Did you take my advice?

I did. Thank you again.

I sold some of my gold,

and officially diversified

my portfolio.

Very smart.

What'd you end up

investing in?

Mutual funds? Bonds?

No, something solid and

dependable that will certainly

stand the test of time.

Congratulations.

You now own 51%

of the Lagavulin Distillery.

Pleasure doing

business with you.

And with you.

Sláinte.

Sláinte.

So, Ron,

what brings you here?

I am at something of

a personal crossroads.

Yes! I love

personal crossroads.

I once made the mistake

of not talking to you

at such a moment,

and I do not intend

to repeat that error.

Well, let's take a walk.

There's a cute

little park nearby.

I suppose I had

simply accomplished

everything I wanted to,

and there seemed

to be little point

in continuing.

So, what do you

want to do now?

Well, that's the problem.

I am not sure.

My kids are growing up.

My days in an office

feel like a waste.

I would like to

turn my attention

to something

that would make

me feel useful.

But for the life of me,

I cannot figure out what.

And there are

not many people...

I mean, we were workplace

proximity acquaintances

for many years.

And so, I thought...

I thought, maybe...

Say no more,

you big softie.

I'm going to spend

every waking moment

trying to figure

this out for you.

You want to stay for dinner?

We're having steak.

Mmm.

But we're also hosting

several members

of the House Subcommittee

on Foreign Affairs.

I'll take that steak to go,

please and thank you.

Hey, there you are.

Thanks for meeting me here.

Well, if you'd held them here

instead of that

conference room,

I would have come

to more meetings.

I've got to

tell you, Leslie.

Establishing

this national park

right next to Pawnee

is quite an accomplishment.

This is a fine piece

of land you saved.

Thank you, Ron.

You want to run it?

The superintendent of

Bryce Canyon retired,

and I convinced

the superintendent

of this park to transfer,

shuffled a few

things around...

The point is, someone

needs to take care

of this place now.

Thought it should be you.

I...

Well, first of all,

I would be working for

the federal government...

Your job would be

to walk around

the land alone.

You'd live in the same town

you've always lived in.

You'd work outside,

you'd talk to bears.

Next argument.

Well, there must be

dozens of people

gunning for this job.

I wouldn't want you

to ruffle any feathers.

Am I even qualified?

Well, a few people

might be annoyed.

But they'll get over it.

And as far as

your qualifications,

you're Ron Swanson.

Stop being a dummy

and accept.

When do I start?

Oh, today.

I already accepted for you.

I still remember how

to forge your signature.

Let's go meet your staff.

Pawnee National

Park Rangers,

this is Ron Swanson,

your new superintendent

and boss.

Rangers. My name is

Ronald Ulysses Swanson.

Your job, and mine,

is to walk this land

and make sure

no one harms it.

If you show up on time,

speak honestly,

and treat everyone

with fairness,

we will get along just fine.

Though hopefully

not too fine,

as I am not looking

for any new friends.

End of speech.

Well said.

Thank you, Leslie.

You're welcome, Ron.

Okay.

Time to go to work.

Laugh with me, buddy

Jest with me, buddy

Don't let her get

the best of me, buddy

Don't ever let me

start feeling lonely

Well, I have to make

a couple more adjustments.

Babe, I don't want

to seem dramatic,

but I have just

reconsidered

every decision

that we have made

over the last year

and I think we need to stay

in Pawnee forever.

I know.

But we have to

pick up the kids and

we have a flight to catch.

But when is this

group of people

ever going to be

all together again?

That's all I want.

All of these people

in the same place

at the same time.

It will happen. Someday.

What's going to happen

between now and then?

A lot.

And it's all going

to be great.

You promise?

I promise.

This is a nice house.

You say that every time

we're here.

I'm just trying

to distract you,

so you don't have

a nervous breakdown.

I think I am past that point.

You don't have to worry

about me anymore.

Hey, folks. Welcome back.

Great to have

so many good friends

and colleagues.

We're looking forward

to a great conversation

and a good dinner.

As usual, there is

only one rule.

No shop talk.

So, if you want

to discuss politics,

you're going to have

to wait until after dinner.

I'm looking at you, Leslie.

Okay. Well, as long

as we get to

play charades later.

Okay.

Last time we played charades,

she spent three

and a half hours here.

You're just mad

because you lost.

Oh, come on.

Damn, that food

was good.

I've said it before

and I'll say it again.

Joe Biden knows his way

around a seafood risotto.

You've said that before?

Anyway, the point is, yes,

I do like working

at Interior. I love it.

But I'm always looking

for new challenges.

Why do you ask?

There's a rumor

the Governor of Indiana

isn't going to run again.

And my friends

at the DNC are

very interested

in you as a candidate.

For governor of Indiana?

Mmm-hmm.

Someone's been reading

my kindergarten

dream journal.

So, what do you think?

I'll call you next week

and we can talk about it?

Oh. Okay. Great.

Well, this is exciting.

I'm going to take

this energy

and I'm going to go crush

Joe Biden in charades.

Dr. Jill?

Let's pick teams.

Oh.

Move. Need the congressman.

This is time-sensitive.

Hey, Jen,

I didn't know

you were here.

I'm everywhere.

You want to be

governor of Indiana?

What?

Colquitt is not

going to run again.

It's a rumor for now,

but my gut says

it's for real.

You're the

perfect candidate.

Local hero,

state government experience.

Blah, blah, blah, blah,

blah, blah, blah.

I mean, the only

potential problem is that

devastatingly nerdy

Cones of Dunshire thing.

Uh, that's a problem?

Mmm.

I'm sorry, but it's

the ninth-highest selling

multi-player figurine-based

strategy fantasy

sequel game in history.

Please don't bail on me

because of what

just happened.

So...

I had a pretty

interesting conversation

with Janet from

the DNC tonight.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

She said that

Governor Colquitt

might be stepping down,

and the DNC thinks that

I should run for governor.

Oh, God.

That kind of sucks.

Really? Why?

No, I mean,

that's amazing.

It's just, Jen Barkley

kind of approached me

about running.

Oh! Oh.

Well, I mean, obviously...

Right. Yeah. No, no.

I mean, obviously.

Yeah. I mean,

obviously, we...

Okay. Pros of you

running for governor.

You would be

a great governor.

We could make Pawnee

our home base.

The kids could go

to school in Pawnee.

And it would be a huge

career move for you.

The pros of me running

for governor are

the same thing.

It's the same list.

Right.

The only con of

you running would be

that I don't get to run.

And vice versa.

Good. So, we've solved it.

Look. We're going back

to Pawnee in a week.

Why don't we just

talk about it after that?

Good idea.

Hey, maybe we can drop by

the old stomping grounds.

See how the Parks

Department has changed.

I love it. Okay.

Are you ready?

No, but we don't

have a choice, do we?

Kids! Dinner!

Hey, I'm going to

eat in my room

because I have to study.

Can we go

to Bobby's house

to watch the game?

Have you finished

your homework?

Okay, don't forget...

Bye, Dad. Bye, Mom.

Bye.

Don't forget your ice skates.

You have a lesson tomorrow.

Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad.

Bye.

Want some broccoli?

Ugh! No.

You know,

now that I'm here,

it's giving me an idea

about this governor thing.

Maybe we need fresh eyes.

You know, other people

to weigh in.

We should talk to Ron.

Or Tom. Or April.

Or Donna. Or Andy, even.

Sometimes, he can be wise.

Yeah, good idea.

Let's call them.

Or you know what

else we could do?

Just talk to them in person.

Surprise!

Oh, wow.

It's what you wanted, right?

Everyone in the same room,

at the same time.

I can't believe you.

We're all here together

in the same room.

In this room.

I don't think I could

be happier right now.

Want to bet?

Hi.

Oh, Ann's here.

Ann. Ann's here.

Hey.

Hey, buddy.

How are you doing?

Good.

You guys, Ann's here.

Should we move

away from here?

Yeah. Yeah, this could

go on for some time.

Aw.

Your hair looks amazing,

by the way.

You look like

a cartoon princess.

Oh, thank you.

It's from the pills

I was telling you about.

I took some of those,

but I don't know,

they didn't do anything

and they kind of

upset my stomach.

No, you're supposed

to crack them

and leave them on

your hair overnight.

Not eat them.

Oh, no.

Well, it's confusing,

because they're delicious.

Because my first book

was such a smash,

I had to come up

with a new angle

for the follow-up.

Then, it hit me,

Failure 2.0:

Failing to Fail.

Love it.

How's everything?

You properly

treating yo' self

out there in Seattle?

In a manner of speaking.

Joe and I spend

most of our time

on the foundation.

I can't believe

you went non-profit.

I mean, I love you,

you're one of

my best friends,

but you have betrayed me

and everything we stand for.

You've changed.

Maybe you're right.

By the way,

what time is it?

Oh, it looks like

it's half past spla-dow!

What?

I take it all back.

That's a lot of diamonds.

Gimme, gimme, gimme.

What's with all

the duct tape?

Just because I work for

the federal government

doesn't mean I have to

advertise it to everyone.

Speaking of new careers,

congratulations on your

run as mayor, Garry.

Thanks, Ron.

I just still

can't believe it.

Yes, neither can

anyone else.

Ugh! Garry!

Hey, Oliver.

Hey, Leslie.

Hello, Ann.

Hi, April.

Your kids are, like,

surprisingly awesome.

Thank you.

Did you use an egg donor,

or give Chris

a hall pass for a night?

Once again, they are

my biological children.

Once again,

I don't believe you.

Ann, you rainbow-infused

space unicorn.

Ann, you beautiful,

sassy mannequin

come to life.

Ann, you opalescent

tree shark.

Leslie, you are

the master of the metaphor.

Oh.

I recently compared her

to a nutrient-rich chia seed.

What's that thing

on your wrist?

Oh!

You are extremely healthy.

I do that literally

50 times a day.

Aren't you afraid

that thing might

give you cancer?

Well, I am now.

Well, there he is.

Chip Traeger.

You old son of a gun.

Andy, it's Chris.

Is it?

Huh.

Hello, Jack. Ron Swanson.

Strong handshake.

Well done, you two.

Thank you.

This kid is the best.

Doctor said he has

a remarkably large head.

Just like his old man.

And you know what that means.

More smart room for him.

So, are you going

to have another one?

Um...

Shh.

Shh.

'Cause...

'Cause he's sleeping?

How can you tell?

It's a common misconception

that the Oculus

holds all of the power.

It's actually

the Lamplighter.

Need a moment.

Hey, sugar pea.

I know you probably

imagined us meeting

once a year for a rendezvous.

But I'm happy.

I got a great wife,

bestseller, and as always,

I remain the style icon.

And I guess what

I'm saying is,

I'm out of your league,

and you need to move on.

What? Sorry, I stopped

listening when you

called me "sugar pea."

Ann. Oh, my God.

It's happening!

It's totally happening.

Our kids are

falling in love.

This is good.

Okay, remember.

If this is ever

going to work,

we have to pretend

to disapprove.

Yeah. Right.

Good call.

Hey!

Leslie, no.

Oh.

Who cares?

Ann Arbor, Michigan,

is literally

the greatest city that

I have ever lived in.

But Pawnee is better.

So, we're moving back.

That's great.

Yeah.

I'm going to run

admissions at Indiana.

I'm trading Wolverines

for Hoosiers.

Well, you're getting

the better end of that deal.

Tom. I took the quiz

in your book

about what kind

of person I am.

I'm a Ron.

Ha!

I'm usually a Tom,

but sometimes,

I'm a Donna.

Last time I took it,

I was a Tom.

What?

No. No, no, no!

Take it again.

I've got to go

recalibrate the quiz.

So, did anyone

have any insights on

our "running for

governor" situation?

I've been so busy

catching up

with everyone,

I haven't had

a chance to ask them.

Yeah, me neither.

Okay, here's what I think.

I hate when we're

on opposite sides.

It stinks.

Plus, if one of us runs,

it doesn't mean

we're going to win.

Right. And it's not like

this is the only career

option for either of us.

So, all that matters

is that we are good.

Right. Which is why

I have an idea.

I think we should

flip a coin.

I mean it.

Let's literally flip a coin.

Because whoever runs

is going to do a great job.

And whoever doesn't run

is going to be right

alongside the other one,

offering advice and support

and whatever they need.

So, it doesn't matter.

So let's flip a coin.

Okay. You, Leslie Knope,

the queen of

planning and binders

and pro and con lists.

You want to leave

this to chance?

Yes. Because

whatever's next,

you and I are

in it together.

So, let's go

tell everybody.

And they can participate

and they can sign the coin

and then, you know,

the coin will eventually

make its way into

the Smithsonian.

Okay, everybody,

gather around!

First of all,

I just have to say that

all of you in the same room

at the same time

with your children here,

it's like... It's

the greatest thing

that's ever happened in

the history of America.

And secondly,

Ben and I have

an announcement.

Leslie is running for

governor of Indiana.

What?

Bully for you, Knope.

That's amazing.

Yeah, she got approached

by the DNC

and they think

she has a great shot

to win.

Indiana native,

supremely qualified,

and she wrote that

she wanted to be governor

in her kindergarten

dream journal.

This makes sense.

So, I'm running

for governor.

Ben is going to be

running my campaign,

because he's a super genius

and he's got a tight,

compact little body

like an Italian sports car.

This is cause

for celebration.

Let's all go to

Tom's Bistro tonight,

back under original

management,

and you all get the

"friends and family" deal,

3% off.

Oh, my God,

you're too generous, Tom.

But right now,

I'd like to make a toast.

When we worked

here, together,

we fought, scratched,

and clawed to make

people's lives

a tiny bit better.

That's what public service

is all about.

Small, incremental change,

every day.

Teddy Roosevelt once said,

"Far and away,

"the best prize that

life has to offer

"is a chance to work hard

at work worth doing."

And I would add

that what makes

work worth doing

is getting to do it

with people that you love.

I started my career

more than 30 years ago,

in the Parks and

Recreation Department

right here in

Pawnee, Indiana.

I've had a lot

of different jobs,

including two terms

as your governor.

And soon, a new,

unknown challenge

awaits me.

Which, to me,

even now, is thrilling,

because I love the work.

Not to say that

public service isn't sexy.

Because it definitely is.

But that's not

why we do it.

We do it because

we get the chance

to work hard at

work worth doing,

alongside a team of

people who we love.

So, I thank those people

who have walked with me,

and I thank you

for this honor.

Now, go find your team,

and get to work.

In addition to

Governor Knope's

honorary doctorate

from the School

of Public Policy,

in recognition of

all she has done for

the people of Indiana,

the campus library

will henceforth

bear her name.

A library?

Yeah, that should do it.

The swing is fixed!

Well, there you go, sir.

Local government

at its very best.

Actually, none of

these people works

in local government.

This is a group

of private citizens

and one misguided federal

employee meddling

where she does not belong.

For once,

could you just...

No.

In any case.

Another problem solved

by the hard work of

dedicated public servants.

Okay, great.

Bye.

Yeah, that's about right.

Okay. Well.

Hang on.

Gayle made me

promise to get

a quick picture,

just for old times' sake.

Good idea!

Garry had a good idea.

Ugh.

The lighting is all wrong.

I'm going to send you

a glamor shot.

Just photoshop me

in later.

I'm not going to show up

in that picture anyway,

because I'm a vampire.

Hey, babe, for this picture,

should I be Burt Macklin,

Johnny Karate,

or my new character,

Sergeant Thunderfist, M.D.?

Where did you get that?

Found it in the sandbox.

Ew.

Go Macklin.

Macklin's the hottest.

Get on with it. I can't

hold this smile forever.

I look ridiculous.

Okay, hang on. Okay.

You ready, babe?

Yes.

I'm ready.

That is a series wrap on

Parks and Recreation.