Original subtitles

Jo!

Mommy!

- Mommy! - Clare.

Mommy!

How far can I go?

Just down the street and back.

- You gonna visit the nest for me? - Yes!

Okay.

Go on, big girl.

Whee!

Come on, Max.

Hey, I'll keep an eye on her for you.

Max! Max!

I win.

Come on, back in.

Come on!

Come on, boy!

Max, come on!

Come on.

Mrs. Deluca they hatched!

That is so great sweetie!

Come on, Max!

Momma?

Mommy?

Momma?

Morning!

Aw, you look so nice.

- Bye! - Bye, Mrs. Deluca.

She moved like the ocean

Keepin' the rhythm, # # The rhythm naturally

Hittin' every emotion

Oh, yeah

L-E-T-S-G-O

Oh!

Hot!

Let's go, let's go

Hotter.

Yeah!

Go get it, L-E...

Hi, Uncle August.

- No, I'll get the paper. - Thank you, Clare.

Let's go, let's go # # Go get it, get it

Go get off the road, winner!

I'm trying to drive here!

Ow!

Oh, gosh...

Are you alright?

Yeah, you know. It's...

it's Monday.

Here you go.

- Thanks - Yeah.

See you around.

I'll check these. See if there's...

You've gotta be kidding me.

Come on!

Check it out.

Dad!

You serious?

What'd I do now?

You promised that you wouldn't do this at my school.

We're not at your school.

We're across the street from your school.

Yeah, but people can still see you.

Well, who the hell's watching?

Yeah, her dad's a dumpster driver.

Hey, what happened there?

I fell at Uncle August's house, he saw the whole thing.

What did I tell you about talking to Uncle August?

You said not to. But I really don't see why.

Dad, you're killing me, okay?

Hey!

Come on, let's roll out, Shannon.

Thank you.

You get so excited by the prospect

Of a gentium way

So surprised by all the possibilities

So...

what do you guys think?

So good.

- How long it take you? - Ah, yeah, like weeks.

Clare, you try way too hard, dude.

Jesus, it's better than not trying at all.

- Will you guys help me hang it? - I got you.

Yeah, just give me one sec.

What is she doing?

It's called Monster Mutant Slayer.

Dumbest game ever.

Hey! Don't mock what you don't understand dude, okay?

If I kill Lurching Louisa and Hacked-Up Harry

I level up to Mutant Killer.

And if I get Malformed Molly, I'm a Monster Mutant Master, man!

I know. Awesome? Yes.

Got it.

- Stop! - Sorry. Don't mind him.

My bad.

Seriously? Bird ass!

Recycle first.

Recycle first.

Hey, Clare.

I liked your banner.

Yeah, I liked it too.

Hey, Carl!

Look at this!

That would fetch a ton at the swap.

I have a better idea.

- Jesus, what's... - It's so bad.

Put it away.

I mean she's seriously smeggy.

Like ultimate smeggy.

- I know! - What was that?

Um...

nothing. No.

Um. Mm. But you were laughing.

Which is co-signing.

And we wanna know what you were laughing about.

Go ahead.

Everyone's listening.

Okay.

Clare, come on.

Go Clare. Yeah, do it.

What's so funny, winner?

Yeah, what's funny...

is that you're smegma.

But like...

ultimate smegma.

What does that even mean?

- Oh, Clare. I got it. - Well..

Thank you.

Yeah, this is great. Um...

Smegma. It's a noun.

"A malodorous, opaque, white or yellow substance

produced by the sebaceous glands of male and female genitalia."

It's found beneath the foreskin and glands of the penis in males,

and in the folds of skin surrounding the clitoris in females.

Oh, I... I...

I'm so sorry. Would you like me to define "ultimate" for you?

Oooh!

Come on. Yeah.

You got it, Clare!

Get up! Get up!

Beat her up, Clare!

Drop her like a red-headed baby fresh out of the vagina!

Get away from her! Let her go!

Ooh!

Son of a bitch! Get back here!

What's in it?

It's broccoli, apple, lemon and ginger.

'Cause we don't want you to bruise.

You know what you need.

Please don't say it. Please.

A nice boy.

- You said it. - Or a nice girl.

Come on, come on, come on.

You must like someone.

I do, but...

So what's his or her name?

Paul.

I think he said hi to me once.

Well, that's something.

In the fifth grade.

Hi, Max.

Hey.

There you go.

Man, you got the green stuff.

It's called "salad".

It's healthy and you're welcome.

I got you a little something, buddy.

It's up on your bed.

Dad, please... we've talked about this already.

You've your space

- and then there's my space. - I know!

I just found it at this fancy place. It's got Chinese writing on it.

Figured since you're taking Chinese...

If you don't want it, Carl'll take it.

Shit, you're damn right.

Just consider it an early birthday present.

Come on, Max.

Whoa!

"Wishes...

seven."

I see the lines # # You try to hide from me...

And...

A little bit

Of my heart feels

Like we're all messed up inside

And a little part, # # Of the fear is gone...

Of course that would happen.

When you say goodnight...

These Night Lies # # Ya little bit of my heart...

Seven wishes...

Why not?

I wish that...

Darcie Chapman,

would just...

I don't know, but just, like, go rot!

Max?

Come on! Come here!

Okay.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God!

Darcie?

Darcie!

Oh! Ah!

- Oh, my God! - Oh, my God!

Necrotizing fasciitis.

- No! - Yeah.

- What? - Yeah.

So apparently, She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named

picked up a case of it at the spa.

And now she's at the ICU.

She might lose her toes, part of her leg, and part of her face.

How sweet is that?

Ah, she's rotting!

Yeah.

Apparently Karma is a bigger bitch than Darcie Chapman.

Who knew?

Oh!

- It's for Darcie. - Oh!

You said that like we should care.

Um, we're starting a GoFundMe.

Go fund this.

Yeah.

- Go on. Scooch. Bye. - It's fine. It's fine.

- Meredith. - It's whatever.

- Oh, my God! - You're proud.

- I gotta go. - All right.

Definitely have my attention, lucky box.

Max, come here.

Max?

Max?

Where are you?

Max?

Ma...

Max, are you in there? Buddy?

Buddy?

You in there?

You know you're not supposed to be down here.

Ow.

Max?

Max!

He was a good dog.

Mom gave him to me.

I know, buddy.

But the majority of the characters are written in Ancient Chinese.

If you want an accurate translation, you'll probably have to talk to a scholar.

- Got it. Thank you. - You're welcome.

My cousin could hook it up.

Ancient Chinese is her thing.

She'd help you out, for a price.

I don't really have any money.

Who said anything about money?

He'll take a tit pic.

- Uh... - And so will I.

- What? - Um...

Never mind.

Sorry.

Offer still stands if you change your mind.

- Dude, seriously? - Just kidding.

Hey guys, do you feel that?

It's like the darkness has been lifted

ever since Bitchface-Since-Birth left the building.

I heard they had to amputate a few of her toes.

Sweet.

Guys, we shouldn't be happy about this.

Clare, I never said I was happy.

I'm freaking ecstatic, man!

Almost like being here.

Laying me down

Down on the floor

Waiting for a song to play

You keep on begging me for more

I love when you say my name

Tell me, tell me why

Were you trying to hide # # From the fallout?

Someone tell me why # # I'm on the other side

Is it countdown?

I'll wait up with you # # I'll stay up

I wish that

Paul Middlebrook would fall madly in love with me.

I'll wait up with you # # I'll stay up with you

I'll wake up with you

You give it all, you take it back

Why's it gotta feel so right?

Oh!

Hey.

Hey.

- Paul? - Yeah.

- What are you doing? - Nothing.

- So I... - Bell ringing.

I'll see you around Claire.

Yep!

Oh, my God. Oh, My God.

And now, this news just coming in.

- A local resident... - Hey.

...owner of the iconic glass house estate in Gates Mills

- What's going on? - August Anderson,

was found deceased in his residence this afternoon.

Are we going to the funeral?

Hey, as far as I'm concerned, good riddance.

What's gonna happen to all of his stuff?

If there's a will, trust me, we ain't in it.

Yeah.

Course not.

Ow! Dammit, Dad! Come on!

- What? - We don't have room for all of this crap!

Hey, hey, hey.

- What? - I'm going to use those.

What do you need these for, huh?

Dad, seriously. You can't get rid of anything!

What would Mom say, huh?

Dad.

Dad! Are you listening to... God!

You never listen to anything I say!

Come on.

I wish...

I wish that Uncle August would leave me everything.

So there.

God, Clare, you're so stupid.

Uh, thank you for calling.

What's going on, Dad?

You're never gonna believe this.

What?

Apparently, you weren't cut out of his will.

How much do we get?

All of it, buddy.

No way.

Yes... way.

Yes!

Yes! Yes! What?

Yes!

You're gonna...

- take the sax with us? - Why not?

No, you just you haven't played since mom...

You never know.

I'm so happy for you.

Sweetheart.

Come visit, or you'll hurt my feelings.

- Of course. - Okay.

- Dad? - Down here, bud.

- What are you waiting for? Get in! - Okay, okay, okay.

Oh, my God!

Call the girls.

'Cause all we ever wanted # # Was to feel like this

All we ever wanted # # All we ever wanted

All we ever wanted # # Was to feel like this

Feel like this it's all we ever wanted

All we ever wanted

Um, Clare, that thing is, like, eight hundred dollars.

I know.

Yeah, so if you buy it, you're an asshole.

Totally.

You want one?

No! Wait, I'm not that psycho shallow, dude. Come on.

June?

I love you. You're my bestest friend ever.

- Okay, let's go. - Yeah, let's go.

Damn!

Peer pressure.

All we ever wanted # # Was to feel like this

Out of the way, peasants.

... we ever wanted # # All we ever wanted

All we ever wanted # # Was to feel like this

Feel like this it's all we ever wanted

- Bye, guys! - Bye!

Hmm...

I found something you might like.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

They're your mother's.

I found them when I was packing up our stuff.

Wow.

I forgot how good she was.

Where do you think you get it from?

Some of these are so happy.

So was she.

Until she wasn't.

Why do you think she did it?

Buddy, I've been asking myself that every single day for the last 12 years.

Still don't have an answer.

Do you think I'm like her?

Course you are.

No, no, no, sweetie, no.

Not like that.

What I mean is, you're smart and funny, you don't take people's crap.

Well, statistically, if you have a parent that committed suicide...

Clare, she was a good woman, but she had a rough childhood.

And secrets, honey.

I think that...

I think maybe...

her secrets were too big to live with and...

it was easier to just let go.

I'm sorry. Come here.

- What are you talking about? - I'm just not into it any more.

It's not you... It's just...

Are you breaking up with me?

I can't date someone I don't have feelings for.

Right.

Right.

Oh!

Oh!

So, will you?

Will I, what?

Go out with me?

Look...

I know this is short notice but

Senior Scavenge is coming up, I thought it would be fun if we went.

Paul, you just broke up with your girlfriend.

Plus, I already have a team... but thank you.

But, we can still go.

Yeah, I'll think about it.

Yeah.

Oh! Um...

I'll see you around.

Nice.

Whoo!

- That's it. - Ryan!

What's the price?

Of?

Your cousin helping me translate something.

Ah... well.

She's a slut for wontons.

Oh?

Done, yeah.

- When can we go? - Let's go right now!

Awesome.

Baby, I was so sad

Stuck on the couch

So... I'm waiting.

For?

An apology. Been waiting for years.

What did I do?

First grade. Sharing circle. You farted.

I did not fart!

You farted and you blamed it on me

and everyone called me McFarts until, like, the sixth grade.

I'm sorry.

Are you really?

Yeah.

Then apology accepted.

But maybe in the multiverse, it never happened.

Or it did happen and you farted,

blamed it on me and I got called McFarts.

Wait.

You dig on multiverses?

Yeah, I mean, the theory that, you know, another you exists

in different circumstances

under different planes of reality, yada, yada, yada.

Yeah, I dig.

Well, maybe in the multiverse, neither of us farted.

Maybe we're even dating.

Maybe.

Maybe not.

Hey, Gina, it's me. Let me up.

This.

Bitchin'.

Yeah, I don't know anything about it.

And I can't...

I can't really read what it says, but...

Can you open it?

Well, it looks like a version of a Chinese Wish Pot.

They're pretty common actually.

You take a piece of paper, write down your wish,

put it in the pot, and wait for it to come true.

Let's see. This one.

It's heavy.

Okay, it promises to grant seven wishes.

And there are rules.

"Lay your hands upon me."

I guess you have to be touching it to make a wish?

"Abandon, lose, or sell me and all your wishes will be undone."

Huh.

Yeah, and what does... What does this say?

That is not a word. It's a name.

"Lu Mei"?

"The legend of Lu Mei."

"In 1910, bubonic plague swept through mainland China.

Lu Mei and her family were suspected of being infected

so they were quarantined in a train car

where they died of heat stroke and dehydration.

Lu Mei was the only survivor.

Local legend says she took the only valuable thing the family owned,

a music box, and went to a temple to pray for revenge.

She prayed for seven days and seven nights

and on the seventh night, a Yaoguai answered."

"Yaoguai"?

A demon of the Chinese persuasion.

If you believe in that sort of thing.

It says, "Lu Mei became very wealthy and her enemies were vanquished.

In 1922, she died.

Suicide.

Opium."

Romantic.

So...

what do these numbers mean on the bottom?

I have no idea.

A mystery.

Um... It also says,

"When the music ends..."

something happens.

Like?

I don't know. It could be a few different things but

my guy Mike at UWA, he's pretty smart, so

I will let you know what he says.

- Thank you. - Yeah.

- Here, get this. - Thanks.

All right. Well, me and my 'tons need some time alone.

I prefer to destroy them in private.

Need anything else?

- No. We're out. - Cool.

- It was great to meet you. - You too.

Thanks.

Hey, hey.

She's cute. Ask her out.

I'm trying.

Good luck.

- Bye! - Bye.

Aww.

Mmmm... Yum!

Drive...

What's up?

Nothing. I just... I feel like Lu Mei's box...

- God! - Whoa.

Good stuff in here.

Dad, what are you doing?

Wha... What are you talking about?

I'm just hanging out with Carl, picking up some stuff.

Dad, we live in a fricking mansion. What else do you need?

Clare.

- It's not a big... - No, forget about it.

Just keep...

Keep me coming...

You didn't see that.

No. Totally didn't see your dad digging through the trash at all.

I wish that my Dad would just...

just stop being so embarrassing.

Yo girl, colder than an ice cube

Yo girl, always got an attitude

Mike, you are one prompt bastard.

I ain't worried 'bout nothin', glitter # # On my skin, makin' all the boys look

Oh, well, that's messed up.

Great.

You gotta be kidding me.

Ryan.

Can I say something totally inappropriate?

Sure, go for it.

Your dad is, like...

serious hot sauce.

Like Sriracha hot.

Yes!

Yo, it's Ryan. Leave a message.

Hey, it's Gina. I got that translation for you and...

it's messed up.

Fuck! Um...

it's so messed up, it's actually beginning to freak me out.

So, ah, call me back as soon as you can and...

Hey, Gina, it's me. Let me up.

Hello?

Gina!

Gina!

Gina?

No. No, no, no, no!

Fuck!

Oh, my God!

- Oh, hey. How you doing? - Good. How are you?

- I'm well. Where you going? - Um...

just the class that we're in together.

Oh, yeah. Duh! I'll walk you there.

Sounds great. Thanks.

- Clare! - Oh, hey, I'll see you at class.

- Okay. Sounds good. - Ryan, where have you been?

Is everything okay?

Can I ask you something? It's gonna sound so...

stupid and so crazy but, um...

You know that wish box your dad got you?

Have you made any wishes?

- What? Why? - So, have you wished?

Why do you keep asking me that?

Why don't you answer?

Has it played any music yet?

Ryan, who cares? I...

"A blood price."

That phrase Gina couldn't quite translate.

It says...

"When the music ends, the blood price is paid."

Um...

tell her I said thanks.

What? What is it?

Ah, she's, uh...

She's dead, Clare.

Oh, my God!

I'm so sorry. When did...

A few nights ago.

I don't even know what to say...

Did it play its music then?

I don't know what you're talking about.

How'd you get to live in that mansion, again?

We're gonna be late for class, Ryan. Are you coming?

Have you?