Original subtitles

I'm hosting a tournament, and I invite the best drivers to compete.

John?

Quiet! We call ourselves the Dolls. The divide between insiders and outsiders

grows by the day. I'm entering the tournament. I'm going to wish to bring

all the city walls. It's bad out here, John, and it's getting worse. This

monster's after me! Who is he? My best friend.

Unfortunately,

you missed every major organ on his body. When you're the last survivor,

everyone will know Sweet Tooth is the best.

Look, I was thinking... Come with me. You're lucky I'm available.

I heard you and Quiet made quite the team. Just like all the time. John and I

are going to take a V -tour.

I'm Mayhem. You're looking at the best driver on the West Coast.

Ruben, you don't have a goddamn clue what you're doing. What the hell is

This wasn't on the final exam!

If you two are going to win, you're going to need some special weapons. And

most overpowered specials can only be found in Diesel City.

That's cool, but we don't have any money. We're going to steal them.

You want to steal a bunch of weapons out of this place.

Looks like you're going to need a plan to do that.

Good thing I've got one.

So here's the deal.

The cardinal rule of Diesel City is no violence.

Dozens of snipers in there make sure of that.

You die from their bullet.

Diesel City is for buyers only.

So whatever gas you bring is swapped out for an in -house currency.

And while the bazaar's got a whole slew of fine -ass weaponry... The most lethal

ordinance can be found deep in the emperor's inner sanctum, locked away in

vault, and for good reason. These are game changers. S -tier special weapons.

The nasty shit.

They have an emperor here?

Sick. The biggest hurdle will be opening up the vault.

The switch that controls the door is way up there.

The crow's nest.

So how do we get into the inner sanctum? Only the highest paying customers are

allowed. And the people with most money are the representatives from the insider

cities. I think the official term is a gaggle of fucknuts.

You blend in with them, get yourself a lanyard, boom.

You're in.

I'll take the lead on this one.

Really? You?

Yeah, me. I used to live with insiders. I know how their brain works.

Do you even know what an hors d 'oeuvre is? And you won't believe how they spell

that shit.

Listen, how are we going to blend in? I mean, we're filthy. I don't even know

whose blood this is. Here you go.

Mr. and Mrs. Dipshit reporting for duty.

Okay, so while you two look for the vault, I'll sneak up to the crow's nest

get the door open. You have 30 minutes to get your asses there. 20 minutes.

Yeah.

What?

30 minutes. Yeah, that's what I meant. You gotta be in and out, okay?

Mayhem, you'll stay back here.

Shit goes sideways, we might need a getaway driver.

Ah, hell yeah!

Totally drive us the fuck out of here.

She ready for this?

Yeah. Keys, bitch.

Thank you.

Okay.

You two ready to debut the new spring collection?

Wow. You look like a loose turn.

God damn.

We good?

Yeah, we're good.

All right, let's go.

Bye. Don't die in there.

Offering to the emperor.

20 pieces each.

Welcome to Diesel City, where commerce is created and conflict is not

Happy shopping.

Remember, vault for 30 minutes.

That's a bold choice.

Knights of Nebraska.

I heard they took over Topeka and then killed what was left of the law.

I guess they can wear whatever funny fucking hats they want.

So this is Disney City.

Holy shit.

A for all these?

Mm -hmm. And if you're interested, I'm running a sale on 40 caliber.

Hey, they got grenades.

Can we have some?

We have grenades in the truck.

No, but these ones have little metal pieces in them. I'll never ask for

again. Not this time.

Thank you.

I know you're excited, but you need to calm down a little bit, okay?

Remember, this is about us winning the tournament, not about you buying

you want. I do want to win the tournament.

Exactly. And these bullets I got us, they're armor piercing.

Pretty sweet, huh?

Yeah, I guess.

Trust me, you're going to have plenty of toys to play with, okay?

See, that's why I like working with you two.

You do the premeditating, I do the murder.

Speaking of, I know killing is a big no -no around here, but I'm pretty sure I

can get away with it. I mean, it can't be that hard.

I missed it, that guy.

Oh, man.

Woo!

See? That's why you gotta behave.

They're always watching.

Where there's a willing clown, there's a way to murder.

Know what I'm saying?

Look, why don't you go pick out something special for the tournament?

Here you go.

Get whatever you want, so long as it's useful.

Okay? Have fun.

And no murder.

Sure thing, Stu.

to get some lanyards without a fight.

Any ideas?

No.

Oh, way to take the lead.

Here come some insiders.

Okay. I'm going to have to pull out the big guns.

Hello, boys.

Oh, you can't be serious.

Look, you're a cute chick.

Quiet, but you look like you're trying to push out a fart right now.

You have to be here anyway. You're supposed to be in the car. Well, I'm

your awkward asses. That's what I'm doing. Oh, shit.

Oh, where'd you get those?

Well, I asked nicely, and they just gave them to me. What do you think?

Not bad.

Good pull, mate.

No, no way. This guy doesn't even look like me. He wears glasses. Huh.

Got you covered, chief.

He's involved.

How's everything so crisp and clear?

What are you talking about? You know how the world is usually blurry?

With these, it... What?

You gotta try these. Have your eyes always been that color?

Well, I've done my job.

Hey, your job is a getaway driver.

You're going back to the car, right?

Oh, yeah, definitely.

Glasses.

They're working.

Welcome back, Mr. Davis.

Of course.

Mr. Basso.

And a good time stew from the fine people of Spokane.

Sure.

Spokane, go brah.

We can tell Mayhem we found fuck -not -iron.

Ooh, look, drinks.

Damn,

this flavor is intoxicating. Damn, that is sweet.

Usually needs its full booze.

There's the sinus.

Yeah, so someone actually, like, killed my lube guy.

Crazy, like who would kill an essential worker?

I bet the vault's behind there.

So rude.

Okay.

Lay low and make our way over.

All right. You know, blend in. All right.

Looking

like

we've got a couple bogeys.

to go right now.

Well, well, well.

Where the fuck do you think you're going?

So what exactly are you two up to?

Top of the morning, Taser. I'm Deb from Spook House. I can see your badge.

Yeah, I'm Rick, but you can call me Big Rick.

from Kirkland.

Yummy.

You know, I've never heard a Spokane accent before.

It's fucking hideous.

I love it.

Stupid accent.

So, what I want to know is, what are you guys doing here together?

Kirkland and Spokane haven't had diplomatic relations since the Menor

Trying to turn my little weapons market soiree into a peace summit, are we?

Oh, you doubt we are, sir.

Guilty.

Oh, really?

Okay.

How is Kirkland since the whole sabotage?

We're maintaining.

Hoisting their drinking water with laxatives was genius.

Break their sewers, fill their hospitals, make them feel dirty for

Smoke can don't play.

No, no, no.

We almost killed all the bastards on their way in.

Is

that

even you?

Looks like someone benefited from those laxatives.

Diarrhea looks great on you.

He's still a bullshite, though.

Deb. I love Deb, you know? It's so funny. I can't understand a fucking word

you're saying, but this whole lovers from different towns, Romeo and Juliet

bullshit gets me rock fucking hard.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to go prepare for the main event.

Enjoy the auction.

Stay hydrated.

with two fucking clothes.

Oh, banana berry. Fucking yum, dude. Amazing.

Fifteen coins for one mithril?

That's highway robbery.

I can give you, uh, twelve.

Twelve? Twelve is an insult.

Stu!

Stubert! Ta -da!

Hey.

I need some of those coins back.

Sorry, fresh out.

This thing is gorgeous, right? It's real velvet.

Touch it.

You spent all of our money?

The money we need for actual weapons on a stupid tape?

Watch this.

Hey, what are you doing?

Shit.

I killed two other yo -yos like that the same way. No one even noticed.

Unbelievable.

Even when you have a plan, you still just do whatever you want to do.

I don't think you understand.

I am investing in history because this cape belonged to Count Dracula.

No way that's true.

The vendor I bought this from was a learned man.

Not a chance he would lie to me.

Regardless if it was owned by a Dracula, the point is, I ask you one thing. One

simple thing.

You need to come with us, sir. What? Why?

Sweet Tooth, a little help.

Sweet Tooth!

Catch you later, Stu.

Count Sweet Tooth is on the hunt.

Is he still looking at us?

Look, there's only 15 minutes left. Let's just scope out what we want out of

vault. Like this.

Ghost missiles. I wonder if they could go through walls.

Every missile goes through walls.

How about this?

Boomerang blast.

Don't tell me they come back to you.

No, that would be so useless.

Don't be so quick to discount the boomerang blast. It's more difficult to

master, yes, but it is one of our more lethal options.

It feels like easy use.

Be sort to either.

A lady who knows what she wants.

If you prefer something a bit simpler, may I suggest the napalm cones?

These rockets deploy liquid napalm. They can melt an outsider's skin in seven

seconds flat.

I'm assuming this is for perimeter defense, yes?

Of course.

New San Francisco just implemented this system and is very pleased with the

results. They cleared out an entire encampment of pedestrians near their

Lickety split.

The smell will go away eventually.

That's fucked up, man.

It is, isn't it? Thanks so much, sir.

You get together. The people outside the walls are just trying to hang on. This

guy's talking about them like they're roaches.

Every city has weapons like this now.

Everyone.

Keeping people out isn't enough anymore.

They want them gone.

I know people on the inside, guards even, and they don't say anything about

stuff like this.

Yeah, you think they would tell you?

Fuck them, and fuck this.

We're taking them all down. The system, the walls, all of it.

Okay, chin -chin.

Everybody wrap up your bits, and we will announce the winners after playtime.

Everybody follow me.

Come on, you little... rats, come to your Pied Piper.

Later.

Hate them.

Mind if I cape in?

Thank you. Never killed with a lady before.

Masked or otherwise.

I'm... Sweet tooth, I know.

Ah, finally someone gets it.

It would be my honor to kill alongside you.

Whatever.

Oh, I like her.

I'll take it, coach.

Thank you, my good man.

Where are these?

One vulture, one holy man.

Are you leaving your bottoms on?

Yeah. Suit yourselves, weirdos.

Give me the package, Melman.

You love being on the outside, don't you?

Dirty little outsiders.

Yes! Play your roles, you holy men, you butchers. Revel in your lawlessness, you

nasty little vultures.

And remember, no pleasure is forbidden on the outside.

Hello, Mr.

Holy Man.

I'm a wrapped little trash boy.

Rip me open.

Hey, I understand role -playing, man, but I'll pass.

You look awful thirsty.

How about a cup of freshly squeezed ass?

I've had my share of trash ass for today, thanks.

Shoulders, pen -flying man.

This way.

Our vulture nest was raided last week, and it was all your fault.

Now you have to pay the price.

And skin.

Oh, um, no, thank you. Oh, look, a holy man. Oh, my skin, it's his prisoner now.

She was kind of hot, right? Yes, absolutely. Just trying a little too

know?

His Majesty is looking at us. Just, you know, play along.

Sell it.

Oh, yeah.

I'm an outsider. I deserve to be on all fours like a bad, bad doggy.

Yeah, I'm a dirty, doggy boy, too.

This is really bad on the knee.

Yeah, that's right, busy.

And now, a treat.

I looked around Diesel City today for the crudest, sweatiest, most deliciously

desperate outsider I could find. And then I brought him back here so we could

punish him with pleasure.

Ladies and gentlemen, behold, your king of dirt.

Can you guys test out this machine?

Sure.

John, it's me, Stu.

It calls itself Stu.

A sex thing?

Did I win a contest or something?

Half foot long.

I mean, it's not just more dog. See, the ratio of bun to dog varies the flavor

in a very specific way.

Fascinating. Yeah, I think so, too.

And you're coming in, I guess.

Um, so, so, are you normally a solo assassin, or is this, like, a special

occasion? I do what it takes. Oh, cool. Real go -getter. Cool. Just like myself.

Have you ever maybe considered teaming up?

I mean, obviously I'm spoken for, but I don't know. I might be convinced to

maybe take on a third.

HVAC, water.

Wait.

EMP.

They've got an electromagnetic pulse generator?

Killing electricity on demand could be a game changer.

Especially in a tournament.

I call dibs. Find your keeper.

Losers weepers.

Shit, they got a lot of lasers.

This one's on me.

What is love?

Baby, don't hurt me.

Don't hurt me no more.

Baby, don't hurt me.

Don't hurt me no more.

Get your thumb out of there!

What

are

the weapons?

Dolphy said we have to be in and out. I'll be done in two and a half.

Oh, my God.

Oh, yeah.

How the hell do you get out of this place?

No more sex.

I'm depleted.

Holy shit.

Holy shit.

What

is

wrong?

And stay down.

versus high quality development.

He gave you the gift of flesh?

Kill him!

He didn't fuck me.

I fucked you!

Oh shit!

Oh shit!

The alarm!

Oh my god! We gotta go!

Did you finish?

We really gotta go.

Where are all the weapons?

They're not blue!

I get for trying to collaborate.

Get out of my way.

Stop it.

Where the fuck is Mayhem?

Where the hell have you been?

That doesn't really seem like the most important question to be asked of her.

Looking good, guy.

May, you take shrapnel.

I got my own pony.

Yee -haw, Kit Kat.

You look kind of different.

I killed them. I killed them all.

You mean, like, dead dead?

Yeah. It was awesome. I knew you could do it, Stu. Gosh, I'm proud of you.

Can't believe I missed it. It's okay.

I got you a consolation prize.

Okay, okay. Calm down, Stu.

Yeah, yeah.

Napalm cones.

My favorite.

Stu, remember this day.

For on this day, you had your first massacre.

You became a man, and this was your gore mitzvah.

Tell me everything.

I also had a lot of sex.

Gross. I don't want to hear about any of that.

Decorum.

How'd you get an EMP?

All we got was armor pierce and bullets and missiles that come back to you.

I mean, that's not all you got.

Ugh, you're nasty.

What can I say?

We make a good team.

That we do.

Hope it's enough to win the tournament.

Not sure it is.

Ever since I met you guys, I've seen a car man, a weird Grim Reaper biker dude,

and a killer clown.

You're going to need someone to watch your back.

Which is why I'm entering, too.

What about the dolls?

The dolls have their orders.

Think about it. Roadkill is fast.

You take the lead, I set up the EMP, boom. No more competition.

We race to the finish and make our wish.

And it ends before it even starts.

And in shrapnel, I'll be fucking unstoppable.

Also, do we have any teepee?

Yeah, got some in the car.

Thank you. Uh -huh, hold tight.

Tell me again about the cabin.

You know I've never been there, right?

I know.

Just, you know, tell me anyway. Make it up.

The air is sweet.

At night, all you can hear are the owls and

stars as far as the eye can see.

Kind of like now?

Yeah.

Tournament starts tomorrow.

You think we'll win?