Original subtitles

Previously on P-Valley...

My client is offerin' you 15 times market value.

Well, there is market value, and then there's worth.

If The Pynk were to be sold, she would require her worth.

Whisper, Roulette, and the last spot goes to--

- Big Bone. - Yes, ma'am! Ha!

Been textin'.

I ain't neva got no reply back.

Shoulda handled things different.

And I know better now. Um...

You been sayin' it and sayin' it,

that one day, I'ma come live with you.

It's gone happen.

When?

God spoke to me,

told me I was deservin' of a pulpit.

This gone be my church.

Yo' buggy ass need some security.

What's wrong with this niggah, maine?

Mercedes! Mercedes!

I brought her and her kid into my house,

but then she walked out on me like a thief in the night.

But I came back.

I came back for you.

It took you a while, tho.

I'ma need you to get yo' shit and get on out.

Aye. It's official.

The Dirty Dozen tour start tomorrow.

What you doin', lil niggah?

♪ I'm doing everything you want to ♪

♪ This'll be about a... maybe about an hour ♪

♪ Give it to me ♪

♪ And I'll take my fees in person now ♪

♪ I need all that ♪

♪ All that, aye, aye, aye ♪

♪ I'm your private dancer ♪

♪ Watch me touch my toes, Let's get freaky ♪

♪ Let's get nasty, Kitty by your nose ♪

♪ Yeah, he like The way I buss it ♪

♪ To the left And to the right ♪

♪ Shakin' what My mama gave me ♪

♪ I can do this Shit all night ♪

♪ Look, I'm doin' Everything you want to ♪

♪ Aye, I'm doin' Everything you want to ♪

♪ I'm your private dancer, Doin' everything you want to ♪

♪ I'm your private dancer, So you cannot repeat that ♪

♪ It's just me and you, I got my legs up ♪

♪ And your seat back, I'm doin' what you like ♪

♪ You got your hands On all my hips ♪

♪ Brought the club vibes To your livin' room ♪

♪ And I still need To see tips ♪

♪ Buss it open, Break your back ♪

♪ Miss no meals, I keep it fat ♪

♪ Make it roll While I look back ♪

♪ Warm that milk up For this cat... ♪

Mmm, take that mask off nanh.

I'm tryna see yo' lips.

One pair of lips ain't enough?

You got me asshole-nekkid, and you still feenin' fuh mo'?

Bitch, I wanna see yo' face.

How much you willin' to pay?

This much.

You take it off.

Ooh.

I knew it. I fuckin' knew it.

You so fuckin' fine.

You got them "dick-suckin'" lips too.

Mm. How much fuh that sloppy toppy, tho?

Can't suck no dick at The Pynk.

Uncle Clifford rule number fo

"You hoe,

you out the do'!"

I guess we gone have to hit that do' then.

I'll break a rule wit' a brick.

♪ Down in the valley ♪

♪ Where the girls get naked ♪

♪ If you throwin' bands ♪

♪ Then you know she gone shake it ♪

♪ One, two, break 'em ♪

♪ Three, four, rake 'em ♪

♪ These niggahs grind hard ♪

♪ But these bitches grind harder ♪

♪ Climbing up the pole just to get out the bottom ♪

♪ The crowd below ♪

♪ Stay ready for the show ♪

♪ The pimps, the dough ♪

♪ Don't let it take your soul ♪

♪ We make fallin' on the sky Look easy ♪

♪ Look at my bitches ♪

♪ Gangsta walking on the ceiling ♪

♪ Green on the flo' ♪

♪ Money talk can you hear me? ♪

♪ This world is so addicting ♪

♪ But dreams is expensive keep spending ♪

♪ Work hard for the top can't fall now ♪

♪ But whatever goes up must fall down ♪

♪ What you do when the power out? ♪

♪ Kids hungry, can't do none but scream and shout ♪

♪ We all choose to live but it's different routes ♪

♪ Take the shit with shine gotta make it count ♪

♪ When you live and die by the paper route ♪

♪ You spend a dime just to make it out, yeah ♪

♪ Down in the valley ♪

♪ Where the girls get naked ♪

♪ If you throwin' bands ♪

♪ Then you know she gone shake it ♪

♪ One, two, break 'em ♪

♪ Three, four, rake 'em ♪

♪ Where them dollas at niggah? ♪

♪ Where them dollas at? ♪

♪ Where them dollas at niggah? ♪

♪ Where them dollas at? ♪

♪ Where them dollas at niggah? ♪

♪ Where them dollas at?... ♪

Fuck a stimmy, mama jus' got paaaiiid!

Didn't I tell yuh,

if we go on at 11:11,

the divine would do the rest?

Well, can the divine do this algebra

and run up all this bank fuh me?

Yezzir.

Aye, 'Cedes.

Yo' bag ain't half empty.

It's half full.

I'm a optimistic bitch.

Mind the business that pays you.

♪ Where them dollas At niggah? ♪

♪ Where them dollas at? ♪

♪ Where them dollas at? ♪

Hey, my quarterback tore his labrum last season.

I 'memba. Oooh, you was sick.

Messed up all the sponsorships he had lined up.

- Was a goddamn shame. - Hmm.

Took all season to heal too.

Shit. Now this.

Now this.

Unh-unh-uh.

What I wouldn't give fuh a sponsorship right now.

Ah, they ain't what they all cracked up to be.

So why was you tryin' to sponsor me?

What I offered was different.

Not by much.

Athlete gets company exposure,

financial benefits in return.

Well, I don't need the exposure.

But I bet you need that "Mercedes Experience."

So...

offer still stand?

Yeah.

It's still standin' tall.

Well, we gone have to negotiate some terms and conditions.

What, you about to have a lawyer present, ma'am?

No. But yo' wife gone be.

What my wife got to do with this?

Unh-uh. It's no coincidence "wife" rhymes with "knife."

'Sides, I thought she already knew.

Okay.

Farrah'll be there.

Aight.

- Straight. - Straight.

Two boxes, please.

Unh-uh, one box per car, lil mama.

I'm pickin' up a box for my neighbor.

Love thy neighbor, right?

Matthew 22:36, I know thass right.

Pastor Woodbine! Pastor Woodbine!

W-wait. You don't have to call her.

- Come here, look at this. - I'll just take one.

Why you call me over here fuh, Janice?

This young lady wanna take one more box fuh her neighbor.

Now, I know you said one box per car,

but she done came at me with the scripture, chile,

and you know I can't resist the good Lord's word--

Thank you, good and faithful servant...

I'll take it from here.

Mm-hmm.

Terricka?

Patrice.

Don't let this collar fool you.

I will stomp a mudhole

in yo' ass and walk it dry.

Hey, Grandmama.

Now thass betta.

Why you need two boxes fuh?

Like I told the lady, it's fuh my neighbor.

Where yo' mama at?

Which one?

The one that raised you.

Shelle sleep.

At 3:00 in the afternoon?

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

You sho'll look like Mercedes when you lie.

- Sister Janice? - Yes, Pastor?

Bring fo' boxes

and load 'em up in this car here.

Okay, nanh. I'll load it up.

Come on, nanh, help me get these boxes in here.

Thank you, Grandmama.

Get whateva you want, maine.

You ballin' like that, foo'?

Shiiit, lemme get two of these hoes then.

Two of these hoes!

Ooh!

I almost peed myself!

Why Woddy be drivin' so slow fuh?

Y'all got postcards?

Aye!

Y'all hurry up, maine,

so we can take these pics.

♪ Photo shoot, Yeah, pose, pose ♪

♪ Yeah, pose, pose, Photo shoot, pose, pose ♪

♪ Pose, it's A photo shoot... ♪

This shit here fire, maine!

Murda, keep doin' what you doin', maine,

cuz what you doin' is all you need to do, foo.

You hear me?

I got it. I got it.

Yeah, you doin' it. Oh, there you go,

ma... aye.

♪ Pose, pose ♪

♪ Pose, pose, photo shoot ♪

Ooh, shit!

I knew it was Keyshawn ass!

- Yeah! - She killin' him!

She killin'!

Keyshawn sho'll look like

she havin' a good ol' time

on this Dirty Dozen tour with this Lil' Murda character.

Ask them if they wanna roll on by here.

Unh-uh.

'Sides, there is no space in The Pynk

fuh that "crooked-heiffa crooked-heiffa bye."

Heyell, I wonder how her ass

even got outta her slave chains.

Well, we need a new headliner for the night.

Folks got their checks, and if they're willin'

to waste it, we need to take it.

Well, thanks to yo' ass, Mercedes ain't gone be

a hundred in a minute, if eva.

Thanks to me?

You act like I went up there

and poured baby oil on the stage!

Uncle Clifford rule number 100.075,

"A pot of hogmogs gotta simmer in that pot aaallll day

in order to be any damn good."

Mercedes wun't ready fuh that openin', and you wun't either,

on account you burn up all my gatdamn chicken.

So it's all my fault?

Well, right nanh, it's 85% yo' fault

and 15% mine,

cuz I left yo' ass here by yo'self

to burn the house down fuh real, fuh real!

But now, if you just want it to be 65% yo' fault...

Hm?

75%.

68%.

Fine.

69%.

69 is a real nice position to take.

It shows you can suck it and take it

all at the same damn time.

♪ Ah, not the thermometer Ah not the thermometer ♪

Okay!

♪ Ah, not the thermometer ♪

♪ Bitch, it's the nine inches ♪

Ah!

What you know about some Skinny Pimp, Big Bone?

Oh, this just the remix from TikTok.

Chile, the Tiketh Toketh?

Ain't nothin' new

under the sun, is it?

There's always something new.

Well, can't nobody replace my 'Cedes.

Errybody can be replaced.

Fact, let's try Whisper and Roulette.

Since they're Mercedes approved,

they can headline 'til she gets better.

Ooh, chile...

Mercedes gone be madder than a wet hen in heat!

But when she axe, it was yo' idea.

I'll own up to 69% of it.

Mm-hmm.

Also, we're gonna need another DJ.

Where we gone find somebody last minute?

I can DJ.

Ooh, chile, a aux cord and a playlist do not a DJ make.

You were just throwing your hands up to her music

a minute ago.

Mm.

I suppose you can't be no worser than Big L ass.

You best bring

yo' most poppin' playlist,

cuz we openin' doors, legs, and wallets

♪ toni-i-ight! ♪

Amen!

Now, as we stand on sacred ground down here

at the old building of the Delta Valley,

here to rejoice with us in our history

is Mayor Wayne Kyle.

Give it up fuh Mayor Kyle, y'all.

Thank you, Pastor Gilfield.

It is an honor to speak here today

at Delta Valley for this year's annual

Association of Black Pastors Chicken Dinner.

Today, I wanna honor the future of this town

and y'all's part in it.

Now, I know, there's lots goin' on,

but "we gotsta get it goin' on fuh Chucalissa."

Yes, Lord.

Is that gone be yo' campaign slogan?

Interim Mayor Kyle,

"We gotsta get it goin' on fuh Chucalissa"?

Well, I... I can only do that

with the help of y'all.

There are a few referendums on the ballot.

Aw, yes, yes, one of 'em bein' fuh that casinah.

Yes, Pastor Woodbine.

I think you know that one very well,

since you're the only reason why it's even on the ballot.

Well, the only reason you on the ballot

is cuz the mayor's dead.

But I digress.

Yes.

Me and the now-deceased Mayor Ruffin

didn't agree on everything.

But the one thing we did agree on was that an economical

renaissance was in this town's immediate future.

I hope y'all will impress upon your congregations

the importance of voting yes on that referendum--

And if we don't impress fuh the yes?

Well, why would you wanna do that?

This group, I'm sure, wants to be

on the right side of history.

I, fuh one, uh, will gladly express this, uh,

message from my pulpit, Mayor Kyle.

And I'm sure my congregation

will vote accordingly.

Well, Delta Valley might find themselves

with heavier collection plates on account of that.

First off, not a na'an one of y'all niggahs

need to be tellin' y'all parishioners to vote

fuh some gatgum casinah.

Y'all think they gone give any us folks down here jobs?

Naw.

Cuz they gone say we can't count.

- Thass right. - Ask 'em

fuh the tax revenue to build up these schools

so we can learn to count,

and they gone spend it all on a golf course.

Y'all trust these white people too much.

Well, we at Breath of Life Full Gospel Baptist Tabernacle

will not be takin' part of turnin' Chucalissa

into Sodom and Gomorrah.

And who made this chicken?

It's too damn dry!

♪ Oh! Let's go, let's go! ♪

♪ Oh! Let's go, let's go! ♪

♪ Oh! Let's go, let's go! ♪

♪ Let's, let's, let's, let's ♪

♪ Ya, ya, ya, ya ♪

♪ I been workin' all day, I been workin' all night ♪

♪ Play that beat, I'ma be all right ♪

♪ I been workin' all day, I been workin' all night ♪

♪ Play that beat, I'ma be all right ♪

A bitch got chocolate-covered strawberries,

y'a-a-all!!

Only the best fuh the Blue Guap Princess.

You know what I'm sayin'.

Where my chocolate-covered skrawberries?

Niggah, you allergic.

Where my skrawberries and Benadryl, niggah?

There you go right there.

Say "ah," Lil' Murda.

- Wa-cha! - Teak.

Naw, you don't wanna see this niggah face after one of those.

Ooh! Look!

This mu'fucker here finna break the Internet.

Wait, you already posted it?

Yo' bwoyfriend don't follow no damn Blue Guap on the 'Gram.

Come on, girl. Look, aight.

I can delete it if you want me to.

But you just look so damn good though.

It should be fine.

Yeah, it's fine.

Yeah.

We got a little somethin' special

fuh y'all tonight, a lil lagniappe.

I need y'all to give a New Orleans welcome

to Lil' Murda and Miss Mississippi!

Girl down.

Ya, ya, ya.

Ain't no more lockdown. Now it's time to celebrate.

♪ Champagne campaign ♪

♪ Back outside now it's up ♪

♪ Errbody came here to bump, Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Two 15s in the trunk ♪

♪ Bet you hear a niggah In the club, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Sound like a home run hit ♪

♪ Neva scared to play my shit ♪

♪ Shots fuh the DJ quick, Brand-new watch on my wrist ♪

♪ When you gettin' paid Like this ♪

♪ My Black ass gotta show ♪

♪ Dirty mouth full of gold ♪

♪ Big money don't fold ♪

♪ I'm a broke niggah's goals, Whoa ♪

♪ Might just pull up In a Rolls ♪

♪ Them bitches neva Seen a ghost ♪

♪ And we did it off the stove, Niggah ♪

♪ M I crooked to the soul ♪

♪ Murda, murda, murda, murda, Murda, murda, murda, murda ♪

♪ Bottles by the case ♪

♪ Ugh, neva, eva, eva Goin' broke again ♪

♪ I done came a long way ♪

♪ Mouth full of golds, Yo' bitch on my side ♪

♪ Reppin' that Murda Gang shit 'Til I die ♪

♪ Most of these niggahs gone Hate just because ♪

♪ Fuck a pandemic, I'm still sellin' drugs ♪

♪ Fly as a feather, lil fella ♪

♪ Fresh off of lock, I might go cop a bezel ♪

♪ Might smoke a bag Of that mu'fuckin' scrilla ♪

♪ Beat on my chest Like a mu'fuckin' gorilla ♪

♪ All in this Chucalissa jungle ♪

♪ Bitch, we some killas ♪

♪ Miss Mississippi ass soft As a pillow ♪

♪ Only the real ones gone Fuck with me, niggah ♪

♪ Playin' with my city, Gone end up a victim ♪

♪ Where you from, huh? ♪

♪ Where we from, bruh? ♪

♪ When you start somethin', We fuck the club up ♪

Aye, aye, aye, aye.

Aye, you know they tryna trick niggahs off the street, right?

And they wanna keep you inside, but look, look.

We back outside now, it's Champagne Campaign.

♪ Champagne campaign ♪

♪ Champagne campaign ♪

Yeah, that way!

We start week two tomorrow night in Memphis.

♪ Champagne campaign ♪

All right, I'ma do both sides.

One...

...and two.

♪ Oh, I'm a gummy bear ♪

♪ I'm a gummy bear ♪

What's up, lil' mama?

When y'all startin' back up again?

Why you even askin'?

Shelle ain't gone let yo' lil' ass come back.

Bet I could convince her.

Best believe I'm doin' errythang I can

to make that happen.

Mm-hmm.

What you doin'?

Workin'.

I'ma hit you back laters.

Laters.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Ooh-wee. Sweet baby Jesus!

Ooh, yes. Champagne.

Ahh.

Oh, lawd, I'm actin' like Keyshawn ass.

Mercedes.

You must be Farrah.

I am.

The place is beaurtiful.

- Beautiful? - Mercedes.

Coach.

Yeah, I know.

The panny ain't been too kind to me, has it?

No. It done done you good.

You just look real different in regular lights

than the club lights.

And you look good as ever.

We're just gonna need you to sign on page 3 and 5,

45, 67, and these NDAs.

♪ What the fuck ♪

♪ Fell up in the club gangsta, Walkin' with my thugs ♪

♪ DJ play that Duke Deuce Then we fuckin' up the club ♪

♪ Diamond grill, We want all gold slugs ♪

♪ Throw your signs In the air ♪

♪ If you don't really give A fuck ♪

♪ What the fuck ♪

Maine, Memphis niggahs don't give a fuck, maine.

Niggah, that can't be right.

I ain't got that Rona yet.

Pico in the building!

- What's up, lil niggah? - What up, niggah?

Yeah!

Since when Lante lil' bruh start rockin'

that blue and gold?

- Who, Pico? - Yeah.

Since yo' boy knocked his ass out.

What fuh?

You know I stay out of y'all gang-gang shit.

Big Teak out?!

Damn, it's like that, maine?

Yeah, niggah.

Wait, ho-ho-hold on now.

On God, maine, we can't have no problems tonight.

Ain't gone be none.

You know, I don't have no problems with you, my niggah.

Ain't no beef over here.

See, I been vegan fuh two years skraight, you hear me?

Thass good to hear, maine.

Aye, yo. Well, lookit hure, maine.

Where yo' shooter at?

Cuz that crowd gettin' ready.

So you managin' Lil' Murda or somethin'?

Heyell, naw.

- Thass all Woddy. - Mm.

But I do rep the reason why he poppin', tho:

Miss Mississippi.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

You reppin' Murda's lady?

That chocolate bitch is a masterpiece!

- That ain't Murda lady. - And that niggah stay

wit a bad bitch on his arm and a mixtape in the skreets.

Well, when his next joint, "Trade Tales", drop,

you gone owe me some blue hunnids, niggah.

I really love these pictures of you, Coach.

Ah, yeah. Thank you.

Farrah took 'em back when she used to be a photographer.

I'm still a photographer.

You know what I mean, baby.

Like a professional photographer.

That shit look professional to me.

Niggah, you betta recognize.

See here? This my favorite one.

I like how you tap into that soft masculine energy.

You know, I'on think I'm used to seeing photos of men

taken from above 'em.

It's like we always haveta look up at 'em.

Hm.

And I like how you ain't do that,

but also still kept his power.

Y'all give me a moment. This one of my players.

This is Coach Haynes.

Nobody's ever described that photo like that.

It's my first time, too, you know?

First time?

Doing this.

I've never met his other hoes.

I ain't no hoe.

You're getting paid ten thousand a weekend

and a condo

to have sex with my husband, correct?

Don't worry. I don't even get that much,

and I have to lay under him all fuckin' week.

Wanna trade places?

Heyell, no.

Why did you ask for my permission?

It's not like you needed it.

The others surely didn't.

Cuz a bitch got her some integrity.

Hmm. Do you?

Look.

Some point in yo' life, you realize

we all hoes to somethin'.

I ain't never thought I'd be sittin' here.

But I also never thought I'd do a lot of shit

I done already did.

'Sides, this different.

So what if I would have said no?

Then I would have respected yo' no,

hoe.

Ah.

I like to see y'all getting along.

Who was on the phone?

Look like Walker's gonna be ready to play

sooner than we thought.

Thass so good!

I know you was real worried about that.

Well, uh, let me get out of y'all's...

bed.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Before you go, you gotta see this.

Oh, I see.

Naw, naw, naw. I want you to see

"The Mercedes Experience."

Not sure I need to see this "Mercedes Experience"

that brings all the husbands to the yard.

'Cedes, show that one trick.

You know, the one where your leg be, like, here,

and then it's... bam!

It's over there.

You don't have to.

Come on, girl.

Where can I plug this in at?

♪ I ain't here To play no games ♪

♪ I'm gonna give it to you ♪

♪ Just how you want it ♪

♪ You can call me crazy ♪

♪ Maybe you just Drive me crazy ♪

♪ Until the morning ♪

♪ I be screamin', oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Oh, oh, on you ♪

♪ Got me sayin' oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Oh, oh, on you ♪

♪ Got me sayin' ♪

♪ Damn ♪

♪ Ain't no limit What I'm pullin' ♪

♪ When I fuck on you, Babe, oh, no ♪

♪ Talk that shit, Play with that clit ♪

♪ And watch it rain on you, Babe ♪

♪ Funny how you thought I tapped out ♪

♪ When we was fuckin' ♪

♪ We're just gettin' started ♪

♪ Ooh, whoa ♪

♪ Hit it, quit it ♪

♪ Feel that shit, get it ♪

♪ Lick it, fuck it, feel it ♪

♪ Touch it, ooh ♪

♪ Uh, titties in your mouth ♪

♪ With your tongue all out ♪

♪ Whoa, oh-oh ♪

♪ I ain't here To play no games... ♪

♪ Oh, I'm a gummy bear ♪

Aw, shit.

♪ Yes, I'm a gummy bear ♪

♪ Oh, what a yummy tummy... ♪

♪ Just how you want it ♪

♪ You can call me crazy ♪

♪ Maybe you just Drive me crazy ♪

♪ When you touch on it ♪

♪ Got my legs up, Hands up, at attention ♪

♪ You make me stand up And switch up on it ♪

♪ Make your head go 'Round and 'round ♪

♪ And got me makin' sounds Until the morning ♪

So now for the good news.

I, um, just talked to my daddy,

and he just might have a job for you.

Britney,

as much as I'd love to litigate for your dad's fund...

...I'm gonna have to respectfully pass.

I get it. You just need more...

Time.

Speaking of that, when are you coming back?

Uh, the reading of the will got pushed back

on account of Mookie's diamond grill appointment...

Dr. Seagram-Watkins,

another one's coding.

Got you. Uh, Andre, I'm...

I'll call you back.

♪ Oh, I'm a gummy bear ♪

-♪ Yes, I'm a gummy bear... ♪ - Shit.

One sec, y'all.

♪ Oh, what a yummy Tummy feeling like... ♪

Terricka, I told you I'm workin'.

- Whassup? - This is Sheriff Deputy

Jesse Bridges from the Chucalissa Sheriff's office.

Jesse? Why you got Terricka's phone?

I pulled her over fuh underage drivin'.

She ain't got no car.

It's in the name of the passenger,

Shelle Shelton.

Passenger?

Yeah, the owner of the car is passed out in the back,

and let's just say even God can smell the liquor on her.

If nobody comes to pick up Terricka,

she gone have to go to the jailhouse.

Ain't no place fuh a woman, let alone a chile.

- It's him! - Oh, shit.

Goddamn!

Hey, my 'Sippi Cups!

The club just got toe up from the flo' up, ya heard me?

Yeah, we was all on that stage tonight, maine.

Yo' girl, M-I-Crooked Letter-Crooked Letter

and Lil' Murda done bodied that biyaah so bad we finna ride it

on out in a hearse, y'all!

Murda!

- Oh. - Damn, bitch.

Bitch, watch where you goin'!

Murda!

- Murda! Murda! - Aye, aye, aye.

Shawty, let me holla atchu real quick.

Niggah, is yo' name Murda?

Bitch. Fuck you mean?

Aye...

Don't go disrespectin' the guh, now.

Mm. Thank you, niggah feminist.

I suggest you get lil' real quick

before I haveta bless yo' ass, niggah.

Bitch, you just ain't his type.

♪ Well I'm A gat-toting ♪

♪ Pistol-holding nigga on Your damn street... ♪

Oh! Oh!

♪ Throwing them bows Up at these hoes... ♪

- Oh, man. - Get... get... move!

♪ We make them Niggas hit the flo' ♪

♪ Ain't no game off in this Thing ♪

♪ We be deep off In your party... ♪

Where the fuck you goin', niggah?

I finna go jack these foos, niggah!

Fuck!

♪ ...And run They mouth just like a hoe ♪

Let's go! Pump the pedal!

Fuck, let's go, niggah!

Move! Fucking go!

Go, Keyshawn, GO! Damn it!

Do I need to go to The Med, or we finna go to bed?!?

Teak, Teak, what the fuck?

Niggah, is you tryin' to start a war?

Get off of me! I'm good, niggah!

Looks like our damn security gone need some security.

♪ Knuck if you buck ♪

♪ Knuck-knuck-kn-kn-kn- Knuck if you buck, boy ♪

Move, niggah! Move! Move! Move!

Keyshawn bring foolishness everywhere she go.

Oh! Get... move out of my way.

Mm, her lashes live though.

Fuck.

You welcome.

Errybody bound to start on each other cycle.

Can you, uh?

So, you never told me where you was from.

- Heyell. - Funny.

I'm from heaven.

How'd you end up in this shithole then?

I found myself lost,

plans undid.

But then I listened to the wind,

and allasudden, I knew where to go.

Well, you prollly should get yo' ears checked out then.

Yo' head too.

You really might be from heyell.

You got a lot of darkness in you.

Bitch, 'scuse you?

That wun't no shade.

We all need a little heyell in our lives.

Makes you appreciate the light.

Whisper, Roulette, y'all ready?

Ready.

All y'all heaux must abide

by Uncle Clifford rule number .00-twanky-five

"Wear y'all mu'fuckin' mask!"

Got to stay with yo' Corona couture on like me,

m-kay, 'kay, 'kay?

Oh, heyell naw!

Nineveh! Lysol her!

- I'm sprayin', I'm sprayin'! - Lysol it

all down.

Aw, shit. This some oil sheen.

Ooh, chile, that'll do.

You done fixed yuh guts, but you done broke yuh nose?

- It's ALLERGIES! - Ugh!

Allergies, my ass!

You better go get you some Cluritin

and get up outta my face!

Sneezin' in a fuckin' pandemic, bitch!

♪ Finna take all y'all Niggahs fuh a trip ♪

♪ We throwin' ass Fuh that cash on the dick ♪

♪ Come to The Pynk Cuz you want that biz ♪

Whoo!

It's rainin' scrillaaaa!

My bad. My bad.

Don't tell me you still cryin' over this bitch.

Naw, I'm good. I'm good.

Boy, let's go inside and look at this puuussy.

Ooh, thank y'all fuh the lurvvv,

but I'm just the openin' act.

I'ma need y'all to give it up fuh Whisper

and Rouuuu-lette!

♪ Naw, I'm just playin' 'Less you say I can ♪

♪ And I'm known to be A real nasty man ♪

♪ And they say a closed mouth Don't get fed ♪

♪ So baby girl Don't be scared ♪

♪ You heard what I said ♪

♪ We need to make Our way to the bed ♪

♪ So we can start Getting laid... ♪

Oh, hear ye, hear ye,

Pynk pony riders!

It's Whisper in the house!

♪ Tss, Tss ♪

♪ Tss... ♪

Ooh!

Throw it up, Ms. New Booty Whisper.

Throw it up!

Owww!

♪ She don't never do it how I do it ♪

♪ She don't never ride it like I do... ♪

Yes, Roulette! Get 'em!

♪ Big bag counting big cash ♪

♪ Tell that hoe don't touch a stage 'less the bitch bad ♪

♪ All them hunnids yea we run it got a bitch mad ♪

♪ Taking all a nigga money got a bitch sad ♪

♪ Ain't nobody in the club ♪

♪ Who really do it like we do now ♪

♪ If I drop it low you know yo nigga wanna screw now ♪

♪ Talking in the back then ♪

♪ We can fight and we can chew out ♪

♪ Winning all the dollas on the flo' ♪

♪ What you gone do now ♪

♪ Lights out they gone throw it for da Roulette ♪

♪ Whisper, she gone do it how she do it ♪

♪ Tip ha give a fuck about who you is ♪

♪ Rich gul she gone do it how she do it ♪

♪ Lookin and watching they think that we rookies ♪

♪ But they can't come make a bag ♪

♪ Without them selling da pussy ♪

♪ But we don't do all da drama we gone go for da kill ♪

♪ And when he come in da club you know he payin da bill ♪

♪ Tip dollas tip on a bad hoe ♪

♪ Drip on em don't slip on a bag hoe ♪

♪ Thick bitch wit a whole lotta ass tho ♪

♪ When it's time to go out ♪

♪ Body on da pole ♪

♪ Yeah we known to take a hoe out ♪

♪ Doin what they know bout ♪

♪ Run em like a robot ♪

♪ Taking every nigga in the club ♪

♪ Bring some mo' out bitch ♪

Whoo! Throw that stimmy!

Throw that stimmmmyyyy!

Mmmmm.

Ooh-- Ah...

Roulette! I'ma getcho ass--

What?

Bitch, turn my shit on!

She won't pick up the phone.

I'm trying to make things right,

but Gidget won't fuckin' let me.

Well, unless you Jesus and her mama Lazarus,

I'on thank you can make things right, maine.

I ain't kill her mama.

You ain't give her mama Rona?

That ain't even not the point.

Well, I beg to differ.

I was fixin' ta retire from this connect-life shit.

Retire? But we just gettin' started, maine.

Well, you can have this shit. I'm THRU.

After this pickup tonight, I'm gone get my bitch a ring,

I'm gonna get her that white picket fence

and that golden retriever she be wantin'.

A slice of that normal pie.

Gidget don't like no normal pie!

And I reckon you don't neither.

Rule number one million:

ain't no titties on the main stage!

Sorry, Uncle Clifford!

Girl,

this bag heavier than my mama whoopin' hand!

Girl, you were like a tornado on that pole tonight!

Naw, bitch, that was you!

Well, then you were like...

Fiyahh!

Yo, thass an impressive spatchcock you got there.

Do what with a cock?

Do I look like a bussdown to you?

No-no-no, naw. I said impressive "spatchcock."

You know, the thing when you--

Aw, bitch, you know I'on be knowin'

the names of no move, nanh.

How you know that?

You fuck strippers or something?

- Naw. - Yea.

Ain't nu'n wrong with fuckin' a strippah.

Marryin' one is when you got a problem.

See, thass what I was thinkin'.

Come on, maine.

Big L, yo' break was over

15 years ago.

You the worstest security ever.

Copy. Let me gone on

and just do this front do'.

Wait on me.

Yo, yo' freen can't just be droppin' knowledge like that

and then walk away.

She do that sometime.

You got somethin' in yo' teeth.

Let me get it out fuh you.

Open wide.

I can't believe you had my baby drivin' yo' drunk ass!

I thought you was "sober."

Sober only last fuh so long

when you ain't got no job--

That ain't no fuckin' excuse!

You know, I'll be damned

if a hoe stand 'cross from me in my own house

and judge me--

Yeah, thass right.

Throw that shit up with the rest

of all that bullshit you yappin'!

Callin' me a hoe. You got some nerve!

You the raggedy bitch had Terricka in the driver's seat.

She a chile, Shelle.

You sho' ain't tell nobody you was a chile when you were 15.

Not my fault my titties and hips came in early.

Yo' titties and ass didn't lie to Cortez about you bein' 18.

Yo' mouth did.

You neva did let that shit go!

How could I let it go?

You ruined my life.

I didn't exactly climb on toppa myself.

- Oh, it's Cortez fault now? - Cortez was her daddy.

And when my mama said he had to look after her,

yes, he had no choice.

But you, you did. After he died,

you stepped in like the saint you pretended to be

and wanted to play mama to MY child!

What choice I have?

You coulda given her back,

like I begged you to,

'stead of sayin' no.

- I said no? - Every time I axed,

you said no!

I begged, you said no.

I pleaded, YOU said NO!

HE said no!

With his laaast breath,

Cortez begged me to look after her...

Prolly cuz he knew you couldn't.

Just like yo' mama knew.

You think I wanna stare in the face

of his mistake every day?

I done wasted years of my life

bein' loyal to a dead man...

w-who wouldn't be loyal to me when he walked this Earth.

Ain't that some shit?

♪ I'm Django bitch ♪

♪ And don't forget That shit... ♪

This bitch must be good at Super Mario Brothers

the way she done skipped levels.

She gone find herself missin' in her own mirror

she keep on...

Look, I promise, baby,

I'll make it worth yo' while.

Come on, girl.

Niggah, what part of "NO" don't you understand?

- The N or the O? - Look, shit.

Look, my homeboy told me 'bout this girl

wit' the dick-suckin' lips.

Hell, I'm lookin' fuh the chewin' bitch.

Aight? What you pursuin'?

Ugh!

Yo, where you goin', baby?

Aye!

Andre's just checking in on Corbin's bid.

Well?

I'm not settling for less than ten.

Heiffa, yo' yellah tail gone turn blue

waiting on these whypipo to give you $10 million.

You best settle in good, Ms. 69%.

Runnin' a club ain't easy.

But what if we could get that?

Why wouldn't you sell?

Where all these heiffas gone go?

Should that even be any of your concern?

I know if I did,

least now I'd get $3.1 million.

Well, look at that.

You actually are good at math.

Mm-hmm.

What she say?

Ooh, this bitch got life fuuucked up!

Would Promised Land actually pay $10 million

fuh The Pynk's land?

They might.

As she said, they got need and desire.

You gotta convince ole girl to sell.

I think she waitin' to see if the town votes for that casino.

Cause if it does...

...she might become the most powerful person

in all of Chucalissa.

Even more powerful than yo' brother.

Yeah, cuz nobody stupid enough to run against him.

Shiiit.

I would.

You wouldn't win.

Damn! You ain't got faith in a brother?

You ain't got no brand recognition.

You ain't backed by no church.

Heyell, you don't even live here.

Heyell, are you even from here?

I AM from Chucalissa.

Born and mu'fuckin' raised, thank you.

Plus you wrong about one of the above.

- I got land here. - Oh.

And I'm a registered voter,

much to my wife's chagrin.

Had to cast my vote for the...

First Black Mayor

of Chucalissa.

Well, what about that?

"Tydell Ruffin's godson picks up the baton."

You funny.

And you stupid,

but hopefully stupid enough to run, cuz...

I'd sho'll be stupid enough to foot the bill.

- Move. - Thank you.

Oh, there we go. That way.

Oh, damn, girl!

Tired as mu'fuck--

Uh. Oh.

Ahh, you kiss sloppy!

You welcome, niggah.

How Big Teak?

That niggah be aight.

How yo' scalp feelin'?

Less itchy.

Mm.

I told you my oil gone work.

I'ma call it Miss Sipp Hair Food.

I'on know if all of this dandruff in yo' scalp

is from all of that bleach,

or you just, like...

lovesick...

Mind yo' business, shawty.

You overthinkin' it.

- I-- - You green as hell, you know?

- Give me this. - Keyshawn.

Look. Look, okay.

Niggah, "I guess I miss you?"

You denied her. Now you guessin'?

Nobody wanna play Clue up in this bitch.

What I'm gone say then, Keyshawn?

You the poet.

You like, uh,

like, uh, Shake-a-spure or somethin'.

Just go with the 27th thought.

- Hm? - Aight.

Aight. Bet.

Niggah, "I love you?"

Thass the 27th thought?

Keyshawn,

thass the only thought.

Well,

can't fuck this up then.

Uncle Cliffords don't come around too often in life

or in heaven.

I know what I did.

But what you do to get kicked out the kingdom?

I couldn't believe in fairy tales.

Mm.

We finna send this.

We finna send this right now!

Keyshawn, no, we not.

- Yes, we is! - No, we ain't.

Okay, okay.

Now you done got too excited--

- Whoo! - See? See?

Keyshawn. Keyshawn, give me my damn--

okay, see?

- Yo'... yo' silly ass... - Whoo!

Okay... ah, see, look.

I'ma start puttin' it in my pocket.

You gone be mad.

Keyshawn, can I have my... Okay.

What... what is that?

Keyshawn, give me my damn...

Keyshawn, give me my...

Aye, aye, aye, aye... ah.

- Hey. Oh. - Damn, man.

Murda, can you mob to the store with me real quick, maine?

Uh, yeah.

All right.

I'ma just grab my jacket.

Fuck.

I'll be back.

Bitch can't even get niggahs some Velveeta.

I'm makin' some food. You hungry?

Was what Shelle said true?

You was only 15?

You heard all that?

Yeah...

I was.

But yo' daddy ain't know that.

I lied cuz I was in a rush to grow up,

and then I... I grew up.

Did you love him?

Yes.

Did he love you?

You regret it?

Gettin' pregnant was a mistake.

But havin' you was somethin' I ain't neva regretted.

Moment I saw you, I knew you was mine.

Shiiit, you was yellin' up a storm.

You had to be mine.

And you are his.

You the spittin' image of him.

You may not have been planned,

but you were wanted.

Then why didn't you keep me?

I was 15.

I had to do what my mama said.

Even if it meant givin' up the only thang

I ever called my own.

But you didn't stay 15.

I didn't.

I became a dancer, and

wun't no court was gone give a stripper back her baby.

It seems like there's always gonna be an excuse with you.

I'ma go to bed.

Surprised you ain't wrapped that bitch yet.

I ain't her type.

What you mean, foo'?

Keyshawn like 'em how I like my Air Forces,

krispy white.

Yeah, well... Yeah.

Sorry about what happened earlier.

There's one thing I hate,

is a disloyal-ass niggah.

He wun't slime all the way. He was just "affiliated,"

so I ain't trippin'.

You get into one fight,

and Pico go Chief-fi-Chief?

Niggah just ain't cut like us, maine.

Yea, you might be too cut.

You out here tryna start a war?

Naw, just tryna have yo' back, maine.

Hmm. Guess shit ain't changed.

Naw...

What, maine?

Aww...

'Memba yo' first night in the cell with Boosie?

- Hmm. - This niggah said

"Yo' muscles playin' hide and seek?"

You said, "Yeah, foo', they hidin'..."

"Wit' the rest of yo' hairline."

Yah!

Then that niggah...

ah.

Then that niggah shanked the shit out of me.

Missed my mu'fuckin' kidney

by a millimeter, doc said.

You were blessed that night, you know.

And you got sent to the hole.

And Boosie got sent to his grave.

If you hadna been thur,

I wouldn't be hure...

Mm-hmm.

Yo' ass was steady sendin' me those...

wack-ass rhymes on lil' pieces

of toilet paper.

I'on know how you got the CO

to slide it on to me...

but I was thankful,

cuz it, uh...

got real dark down in that hole.

Like...

bottom of the ocean dark.

And yo' lil' rhymes...

They was light.

Pastor, I tried to stop 'em!

What the heyell?

"Whoever derides their neighbor has no sense..."

"But the one who has understandin'

holds their tongue."

Hmm. I wish you hadda followed

God's proverb.

Jesse.

Patrice.

"Breath of Life Full Gospel Baptist Tabernacle

"has violated Chucalissa Mayor's Office

"executive order 2053.84

"in regards to strict social distancin'

for religious services."

Aww.

So you gone stop the saints from clappin' fuh Christ,

but let them booty cheeks 'cross the way clap all night?

Ain't my fault you done fucked with the wrong neighbor.

Niggah, wun't nobody talkin' to yo' overseer ass.

Shutdown effective immediately.

So where you do you expect me and my congregation

to meet and...

cleanse Chucalissa

of the sins of yo' forefathers?

Where two or three are gathered

six feet apart,

at 50% capacity,

God is there.

Mayor Kyle!

If I done messed with the wrong neighbor,

you done fucked with the wrong bitch!

♪ Love and happiness ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Something that can make you do wrong ♪

♪ Make you do right ♪

♪ Love... ♪

"You look beautiful in red.

Lil' Murda."

♪ Love and happiness ♪

♪ But wait a minute something's going wrong ♪

♪ Someone's on the phone ♪

♪ Three o'clock in the morning ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Talkin' about ♪

♪ How she can make it right yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Well, happiness is when ♪

♪ You really feel good about somebody ♪

♪ There's nothing wrong ♪

♪ Being in love with someone ♪

♪ Yeah... ♪

Damn, this hoe heavy as heyell.

♪ Oh, baby love and happiness ♪

♪ Love and happiness... ♪

Let me know when you wanna take Roulette

on another spin, baby.

♪ Love and happiness ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Have to say ♪

♪ Love and happiness ♪

♪ Make you wanna dance ♪

♪ Love and happiness ♪

♪ Heh, heh, love is ♪

♪ Wait a minute ♪

♪ Love is ♪

♪ Heh, heh ♪

♪ Walkin' together ♪

♪ Heh, heh ♪

♪ Talkin' together ♪

♪ Say it one more, say ♪

♪ Hmm ♪

♪ Moan for love, say ♪

♪ Hmm ♪

♪ A moan for love ♪

♪ Hmm ♪