Original subtitles

VISIT THAILAND

It's me. How are we doing?

- We're almost ready. - Really?

Great. And the doll?

Did you get rid of her?

Of course. You don't have to worry about her.

Excellent. And their key witness?

- What is? - Do not worry.

- They don't have a key witness anymore. - I'm glad.

Did you get the list?

It has all the names and addresses on it. We will get rid of them.

You'll be free soon.

Excellent.

I wonder who will stop me now?

A vindictive look, a quick breath

In the veins, the icy blood of Adrenaline rushes to the head

As the moon shines over the city's rooftops The Masked Avenger is rising from the ground

A new level

CHECKED NINJA 2

I'm about to kick your asses. New skills he acquired by himself

A new level

Do not stop, go up, go up. Gas, go to the top, live life to the full

A new level

Do not fall asleep, although the time is long. Respect must be earned

A new level

The temperature is rising, you have to learn. If you make a mistake, you will burn yourself

The dull bourgeoisie falls asleep in the armchairs. He counts on protection without the hero's superpowers

War on paths, traps in tunnels

He hides in the bushes to abuse the bastards

The Batmobile is waiting outside the door, jump in

Robin will be coming to meet you soon

You don't understand why this is my plan

Nobody will do it If I don't do it myself

A new level

Strike while the iron is hot, don't ignore evil. Don't fight for money

A new level.

Don't let go when someone pulls out the knife. You have to deal with him and take him down

A new level

Be assertive, forget the rules. Heaven is the limit, everything falls out for you

A new level

Full speed, no room for error. When the crowd surrounds you, fire the fuse

- Good morning. - Good morning, son. Will you eat breakfast?

Please. Breakfast is under the cement?

It's funny.

- Hi! - Hi honey. How did it go?

- Great. Sean! - I'm playing.

- Sean's playing. - Come down to us. I have good news.

I'm coming.

- Good morning, Alex. - Good morning, John.

- We made an appointment. - It's vacation.

- Cookies! - Good morning.

- I'll take three. - Go crazy but share with Alex.

- They're from a vegan bakery? - They went bankrupt.

You have paint on your hands.

You know I was working on a digestive application.

I got tired, but it was worth it.

- Did you sell her? - Nordic Fitness has purchased the app

and hired me as lead developer in the nutrition department.

- Awesome. John rocks! - Yes.

- Way to go. - Awesome.

- Do not swear. - Hold on.

It's not everything.

I received an advance payment of one hundred and fifty thousand crowns.

Oh shit.

Madness.

I celebrate your success by taking you on a tour.

- We are going on vacation? - Wonderfully.

- Cool. - Where are we going?

Let's vote. I have already prepared the urn.

Write your proposal on a piece of paper and put it inside.

- Into the box. - To the urn.

- Can we go to Spain? - Think it over and remember the urn.

- There are many interesting cities in Germany. - In Spain too.

- For example, Frankfurt. - Do we have to use the box?

- From the urn. I just wanted to say... - You're amazing.

- I can't believe we're going on vacation. - I know.

- Yes! - Cool!

- Hi. It's Jessica. - Hi!

Leave a message because I am doing something very important.

It's Alex. Did you get my messages?

- We haven't spoken for a long time. - I miss you like crazy.

- Stop. - What place will you choose?

- Frankfurt. - Are you kidding?

Don't reveal your suggestions.

- Choose Spain. - Why?

- Because that's where they make Spanish donuts. - We only call them that.

The whole world calls them "churros" or "fried dough".

I googled it.

Why go to Spain? You can buy them here.

But it won't be a trip. Please.

- Spain! - Seriously?

- Spain! - Okay!

- Will you leave if I vote for Spain? - Yes. We have two votes.

Whatever you want.

I stare at the ceiling in the room and one thing is bothering me

Why don't you say that everything is fine?

Is your heart made of stone?

I check my phone every now and then and nothing changes

These three dots are looking at me For three eternities

These three dots fill my head like a scream

Those three dots, no words. What should I be feeling?

These three dots say more than you do

ARE YOU GOING FOR A TRAINING?

Le parkour.

The art of moving around the streets

invented by Jamaican newsboys.

Take it easy. Eventually I will write.

- You are together? - I don't know who we are.

You kissed at the party.

We haven't spoken in a week. I wrote to her but she doesn't answer.

- Visit her. - Without notice?

More than 87 percent of women prefer proactive partners.

Come to it on your way home.

- Girls love romantic gestures. - And the perfume.

Concentrate. Have you overcome this obstacle?

Not yet.

So don't talk to your friends, just go ahead.

- Try your best. - You can do it.

Forward.

- You can do it! - Come on!

Go to hell!

Cholera.

Where's your confidence? Get a grip.

The only obstacles are in your head.

Time for freestyle. Moves!

How are you? I decided to drop by on my way back from training.

Did you know that I train? Are you kidding

- Welcome. I'm just cooking peas. Will you come in? - Did I find Jessica?

- Yes. She missed you. - Really?

She has been painting for an hour. Your prince charming is here.

I'm already coming down.

Will you try The peas are delicious. Really.

No thanks.

- I think I'll add the pesto. - Hi!

- What are you doing here? - Hi. Well…

- Jessica has a visitor. - Hi.

- It's just Alex. - False alarm.

- Hi. - Hi, Tino.

- I'm Gina, and this is Tina. - Not true.

Actually.

- Are we too early? - We apologize.

- Is he coming with us? - No kids.

Five.

- Come on in. I will join you in a moment. - Should we go away?

- We're discounted. - Recycled.

At second hand.

Nice to come by, but it's a bad time.

- I'm going to the party. - I can go with you?

It's a high school party.

- Seriously? - I'm not saying that you are childish...

- Is that Marco? OMG! Write him back. - Let's wait for Jessica.

- What a bad boy. Going to faint. - Hurry up.

- See you later. - Of course.

Bad boy?

- Hello. - Hi!

- Did you visit Jessica? - Not. I have been busy.

After this action with Glenn, could you say I'm a bad boy?

What's so funny?

You're not a bad boy. You are… Alex.

What about Glenn and the fight?

Bad boy can talk to girls.

Just like me. He is confident.

Girls like it when you take matters into your own hands and say:

"Baby, I'll tell you how it will be."

You made me laugh with that bad boy.

Odysseus? Hello? Odysseus?

You drive like crazy.

Is it really you?

Good to see you, but let's not be sassy.

I missed you.

- I thought you were dead. - I've been dead for four hundred years.

- Really dead. - We're never really dead.

Lift me up.

Something's wrong. I feel it.

- You have a broken leg? - Not!

While I'm here, something is going on with our mission.

Didn't you want to show up here?

The spirit of revenge does not socialize.

We swore to take down the child murderer.

- I thought it worked. - Me too. We need to find out what happened.

But there is something more important... do you have buttermilk at home?

You said you weren't making social calls.

Nobody said we couldn't have fun.

Slowly. Hedgehogs are allergic to milk.

I do not care. I want buttermilk.

- Let's talk about the mission. - Of course.

"Tycoon accused of drug smuggling, released from prison."

- There are more articles. - In that something?

Wait.

Toy manufacturer Philip Eppermint,

accused of murder and drug smuggling,

will be released from prison because the evidence is gone.

What?

A cuddly toy in which drugs were smuggled in,

evaporated from the guarded warehouse.

I wasn't a cuddly toy!

Chief prosecution witness, manager of a factory employing children,

was found dead in his home.

He has it for his. The jerk.

The list of 10 children who witnessed the crime has also disappeared.

The prosecutor will try to find the children, but has no right to stop Eppermint.

His lawyer, who is meddling in Thailand, is not happy.

I'm not happy.

The judge confiscated Mr. Eppermint's passport,

preventing him from leaving before closing the case.

My client is innocent and shouldn't have gone to jail

yet she would stay there until the sixteenth.

It's next week.

A week in prison is a long time.

We have to be there when they release him.

- In Thailand? - Yes.

I promised Sean Spain.

- And me Epperminta in prison. - And he got there.

Exits. You still owe me.

Because you pushed Glenn into a puddle?

Don't you think it's a high interest rate?

Even if we get to Thailand, we have no evidence.

- We have to get them. - As?

We are ninja. We will improvise.

- You used the plural. - What?

You said we were a ninja. You mean we're bad boys?

I think so. I'm a ninja and I consider myself a bad boy.

- And I? - You are a child.

I'll be a ninja too when I go on my mission.

You cannot become a ninja. You are born with it.

But if you help me

as an exception, I appoint you a ninja apprentice.

- Really? - Of course. You will become a bad boy.

Start by figuring out how we'll get to Thailand.

- Okay. - Alex?

- Yes? - My little vet.

Nice to take care of him, but keep him outside.

John is allergic to animals.

Is allergic to hedgehogs?

- Do we have antihistamines? - Take him to the shed.

Are you kidding I will not stay here.

- I'll hold on for a while. - We have to find you another body.

- I won't take the hedgehog if we fly. - We'll fly.

- I don't have any cuddly toys. - I'm not gonna be a cuddly toy.

Do you prefer it

- Great idea. - The legs are moving.

Are you mad? I'm not gonna be a chick.

Don't be old-fashioned. The girls are equal to the boys.

In sewing and cooking.

- What? - Sewing!

So what?

Have a gluten-free breakfast. Tasty and healthy, ready in a moment

Mom?

Life without gluten, you dream about it

You give!

Mom?

Don't eat gluten, be allergic

- Mom! - Listen.

- You remember my checkered ninja? - You got it from Uncle Stewart.

- What happened to him? - I lost him. Will you sew me a new one?

A ninja doll?

Same size. With buttons for eyes. Do you remember?

- Of course. - I have a nice checkered fabric somewhere.

Don't drain the water. I'm going to get the camera. It's about an app.

I wonder where we will go on the trip.

- Exactly. - Spain.

We do not talk about proposals not to influence each other.

Hasta la vista, donde esta la playa nudista?

I saw a great video on YouTube

entitled "Thailand - Vegan Paradise".

Vegan?

- In Thailand, meat is not actually eaten. - Really?

They are Buddhists, so they are interested in spiritual enlightenment.

- It would be nice to go there. - Yes.

- Are you talking about voting? - Of course not.

I don't care where we go. The important thing is that we will be together.

I can visit Frankfurt and eat pork.

Thailand - a vegan paradise.

THAILAND JOURNEY

SPAIN

- Time to open the urn. - I'm coming.

Are you coming We will know the results of the vote in a moment.

URN

The situation is as follows. There will be four votes in the ballot box.

Cool.

You cannot vote for yourself.

Come on.

We're going to Spain.

- Remember to vote for Spain. - Calm down.

Relax.

I sewed you a doll. She is lovely.

Frankfurt.

Spain.

Thailand.

We have a tie. The last vote will be decisive.

Well...

Thailand.

- Are you happy? - I thought…

Thailand is expensive and distant. It's the rainy season.

This is the best time to go there. It will be cheap.

Take a look at the prices of the hotel I found.

That's a suggestion, but it's in a great location.

I have already booked a room just in case.

My little traveler.

- Two-faced liar. - Sean!

Did you discuss the suggestions?

I'll check on the allergen.

It's me. I wanted to tell you that I'm going on vacation soon.

I'll meet you when I get back. Definitely, baby.

Or call back while you hear the message. Okay, bye!

I have good news. We're flying to Thailand.

- All right? - Yes.

You drank too much buttermilk. You're burning up. Your heart is pounding.

We have to give you a new body.

Mom?

- You sewed my doll? - Yes.

Hope you will be satisfied.

It's perfect. Thanks.

I have a new body.

Put them down and run. Now.

A storm is coming.

- Do you like it? - Yes.

It looks the same as that one.

I look hopeless.

Did you have to choose a woman's material?

Mom didn't have any other checkered fabric.

She made Christmas decorations out of it?

He is rough. Touch it.

At least you are organic and have freedom of movement.

I'm not going out to people. They'll think I'm a girl.

A ninja grandmother.

It's not the appearance that counts, but what's inside.

What's inside? I weigh as much as Sean. Is that rice?

Pea. It is said to be delicious.

My butt is heavy, I'm making noise and I don't have a sword.

But you have a student who made us go to Thailand.

Really?

Let's focus on the mission.

You're right. Mission is the most important.

Time to fly away, visit a new country

It will be a beautiful place

Here you will see who you really are

Smile and go wherever you want

Time to fly away, don't pretend to be anyone

Pack what you know Set the bar high

Forget what a shame we're letting go of here

We don't care. We follow happiness

Just look. What do you think, sweetheart?

I don't think this is Spain. I take the bed by the window.

Let's turn off the air conditioning. Breaks my sinuses.

We have a notebook and a shoehorn.

You found a great hotel.

Great price and location.

What's that building across the highway?

It's a prison.

Why are we living next to the prison? It really sucks.

They serve delicious breakfasts here. Maybe they have churros.

And it's cheap.

- It's more expensive in the center. - Yes.

It's a business hotel so you can get tax deductible.

My little accountant. Let's go to our room.

Inner door. Elegantly.

- And? - We're in Thailand.

- Already? What time is it? - At a quarter to twelve.

Eppermint will be out at two o'clock.

- We have four... - Two hours and fifteen minutes.

Exactly. We have to be there so as not to lose him.

- And then? - Why are you talking to the cuddly toy?

Mind your own affairs.

Why is she so girly?

Do you mean hearts?

And the fact that she is girly.

You're an idiot. So what if she looks like a girl?

- Keep her in your bed. - He has good taste.

Of course. She likes women's clothes.

Who wants to have fun in Thailand?

Nice family, welcome to Bangkok. Will you buy?

- Can we rent a scooter? - No way. It's too dangerous.

- Will you buy me a drone? - It's definitely expensive.

I'll take the sword. Thank you.

Thanks.

- Look! Ribotherapy! - What?

You have to try. It is said to be very healthy.

- Let's do it. - I do not know.

- I pay. - Agreement.

Good day. We want to try.

The best effect is after 45 minutes.

- We'll ask for three-quarters of an hour. - Should we wait for you? I'm hungry.

Get yourself a drone. Make it a holiday gift.

What?

This is our tradition. It's not that funny.

You have some too.

The fish tickle me. Not you?

Actually, it's not.

- Can I take a walk? - Sam?

Alone? I do not know.

Alex is growing up and has to find himself. Let him.

Agreement. My little lonely wanderer.

- Why did you let him go? - You can walk alone too.

You know I don't like being alone. Cat! I hate cats.

- Go together. - Not!

I have to find myself. Alone.

Find yourself? You are here…

We made it. He hasn't left yet.

That's good.

Controversial tycoon Phillip Eppermint will be released from prison today.

- What time is it? - Five to twelve. I have something for you.

- For me? What's that? - Something you need on a mission.

- Sword? - Yes, but don't kill anyone.

Of course not. What is this sword?

From some computer game.

I don't know which one is in the package. I bought the last one.

The sword is not just a weapon. It symbolizes the ninja's identity.

Something is happening inside.

It's time.

- Let's go! - Mr. Eppermint!

Please look at me.

Good day.

Kathy Pierson from Thailand Today.

How do you feel?

This is a great day for me and for the rule of law.

I will give you the rule of law.

What are the conditions in a Thai prison?

If you're used to the hotels here, the difference is not much.

But it's easier to get a scythe here than a cold drink.

- What are you gonna do? - I'll buy a cold drink.

You killed the boy with a bamboo stick.

That was not me. Really.

I do not understand.

People are innocent until proven guilty.

That's it for now. We go.

Mr. Eppermint!

I said that's it.

Don't lose sight of him.

Excuse me! Behind this car.

- Good morning. - A table for men.

- Thank you. The usual. - Okay. Thank you.

Be right back.

- She's cute. - You should see her sister.

Good morning! Something cold?

- A soda, please. - Okay. How sweet.

- What did she say? - That you look cool.

Seriously?

- I'll sneak closer to hear them. - Just be careful.

I'll eavesdrop, and you stay on the lookout.

Here you are.

- You still want a drink? - Stop. I prefer champagne.

I should congratulate you. Let's drink for freedom.

Bless you.

- Is this kid watching us? - That one?

Hello? Yes. Alex here.

- It's just a baby. - You're right.

I've been nervous lately.

- A drink for you. - That's funny.

- Hello. - Hi. Are you in Thailand?

- Yes. - I do not want to disturb.

- I was curious how you feel. - Okay. I can not talk now.

Did you take the list with the names of the children?

She stayed at the club. It was not easy to get hold of.

- Did you talk to her? - With whom?

- Jessica. - Not. Why?

She's probably kissing this pseudogangster.

What are you talking about?

Twenty thousand for the list is a fair price.

- Agreement. - Will you take care of the kids yourself?

Yes. I do not have a problem with that.

Haven't seen Tina and Gina's Instagram photos?

- What pictures? - You better see them.

Make it quick.

If the police find the children in front of you, you'll be back in jail.

- I know. - It's good that we agree.

What's that?

What is she doing?

Hey man!

Girls can't resist bad boys.

That's why they don't leave me alone.

Are you there?

Alex?

Hello?

Let's meet at the club tonight. You'll have fun.

At the moment I am only interested in dealing with these children.

Let's make an appointment at ten o'clock.

Talk to me.

- Shit! - Drop by the bank on the way.

Of course. Bless you.

You are finished, child murderer.

We're not buying anything. Go away.

- Are you there? - I have to go.

Thank you.

I felt hot. I'm going home.

And I am going to the gym. See you later.

- Remember the money. - He's coming out.

Thank you.

Before!

- Are you going out? Fifty lashes. - Moment.

Oh no! Cholera!

Advocate!

Let's go.

- Shit. - What were you doing?

Did you forget that the mission is the most important?

- But Jessica... - You're rough.

But organic.

- Did you hear them? - The lawyer has a list of the children.

If we hand it over to the police, Eppermint will be finished.

- Where she is? - In the club.

In which?

I didn't find out because you let me kidnap.

Excuse me. And what now?

We can sit here like idiots and wait for the clue to fall from the sky.

- The list is in the club? - Yes.

Probably in this.

- Alex, are we going to have dinner here? - Yes.

- Thank you for inviting us here. - I prefer McDonald's.

- You surprised me. - But you took us on vacation.

It is true.

- I wanted to repay you. - Of course.

- You shouldn't have paid. - I care about this.

Alex checks how he will handle the role of a man.

Let's not disturb him.

My adult baby.

- It's Jessica. - Hi. It's me.

Leave a message because I am doing something very important.

It's me. You can call me?

We need to talk. Bye.

- Put your phone away. - I wanted to understand what she meant.

What do you mean?

Don't you mind kissing that loser?

- On the cheek. - And?

-̆ Maybe it's her relative. - For sure.

Now put your phone away and focus on the mission.

- Welcome family. - You look like George Michael.

- I do not know. - Looks like George Michael.

- It's because of the hat. - Family photo?

- They're lady boys. - Disgusting.

- Let's take pictures with them. - Without me.

- Smile. - Thank you.

- Something for me? - Of course.

- And for me? - The restaurant is upstairs.

- Where did you find this place? - On the Web. It has great reviews.

It looks very authentic.

- I like the atmosphere. - It will be hideous. I want to McDonald's.

Play on your tablet.

Hello family.

What will they drink?

- Maybe we can order some drinks. - Since Alex is paying, I'll take the water.

- Order a drink. I bet. - My generous boy.

- Three drinks, please. - I'll take it.

And I am Burning Boytoy.

- I think they're setting him on fire. - Coke please.

Okay.

- I'm looking for a toilet. - Let's order food first.

I can't stand it. Order for me.

Do you have a shit?

- I do not feel best. - Alex.

Take it and check the box with the most similar consistency.

What? Okay.

I created profiles for you.

You will get logins when I fix mistakes in the family function.

Interesting.

I'm sorry.

I thought…

We don't let children in.

My dad is inside.

- I told you we don't let children in. - My father…

Get lost.

Bravo, bad boy.

- What should I do? - We have to find another entrance.

There is a window on the top left.

I'll see if it leads to the club.

I think it's an attorney's office. Come here.

You are high.

So what?

- And if they see us? - The mission is the most important.

- Do you want to be a ninja or not? - But…

Don't make your life difficult.

- He must have hidden the list here. Let's find her. - Okay.

Mute your phone.

- Jessica is calling. - Don't pick up.

- Hello. - Hi. It's Jessica.

- Hi. - Hi.

I'm calling because I want you to hear it from me.

You're a sweet boy, but you don't seem to be my type.

Because I'm not a bad boy?

Exactly.

- I would have told you sooner... - But you didn't. I saw the photos.

- It was not the right time. - Not suitable?

- Seriously? - Alex...

I have to go. Mom is telling me to go to sleep.

- What are you doing? - Somebody is going. Under the table!

- I threatened to cut his fingers. - Good.

- Drink? - Gladly.

Sit down.

I prefer the character.

I was in prison all the time.

You have to take care of your place so that someone does not take it.

Not what we are doing. Take the list.

- Okay. There is money here. - Thanks.

This is the only copy?

Yes, but I can't guarantee the prosecutor won't look for children.

- I have to be faster. - Exactly.

They live in different parts of the country.

The first on the list is near Bangkok. Start with him.

Honey Bee Tessanie?

Girl. Locals like strange names.

There is no address. Only Koh Ho Ann and the word "restaurant".

Show.

She was adopted by the owners of restaurants on Koh Ho Ann.

The island is located near Bangkok.

I associate. I know someone who runs a dive center there.

Still not answering. He disappeared a long time ago.

These things take time. Call me on my number.

Really?

He is my translator. I'll meet him.

Your business, but it's better not to initiate other people.

He's already initiated.

What the... What is that?

What's going on?

- Who you are? - Didn't you see my ball?

- You play football? - Not. Yes. And you?

- What are you doing here? - Something stinks in here.

You don't recognize him? He was at the cafe.

Actually. Are you following us?

- Answer me. - I can't take any chances.

Right. Better get out of here. Guard the lists.

And we'll talk.

- What are you doing? - I can ask you the same. What are you doing here?

The list is mine.

My dad is at the club. I lost the ball. Dropped in here.

You are lying. There is only one guest in the club. She is seventy years old.

- It could be my dad. It looks old. - Nice try.

Something for me?

Maybe it will refresh your memory.

No, I'd make a mess.

It will be better.

Answer questions and don't lie.

What did you hear

Cholera.

- Heard nothing. I swear it. - Exactly.

May you have a few more milk chicks.

Excuse me. Is that a toilet?

Get out of my office.

What are these nerves for?

Uncle Stewart!

Alex? What are you doing here?

He broke in. I was just about to call the police.

Nice trinket. Have you come with your whole family?

Get your hands off you if you don't want to get hit.

Quadruple rings are dangerous.

You have to watch your fingers.

Carefully. You almost spilled my beer.

This is not a place for a boy your age.

I'm right? One blow was enough.

Cheers.

Alex, what are you doing here?

- I came because... - I understand. Say no more.

I started early too. I remember in the playroom...

Or maybe it was later when I became a teacher.

Will you tell mom?

Everything will stay between us. Where is the family?

- Where is he? - Still not answering? There is.

Where have you been?

- Will there be a place for me? - Uncle Stewart!

You smell like booze. And that's it.

Look who I found.

The toilet was closed so I went across the street.

Have you seen the old man and the boy?

Can you believe we ran into each other? The world is small.

What are you doing here?

I work, but we were allowed to go ashore.

- Have you ordered already? - Will you eat with us?

The table is too small.

I've eaten recently, but there's always room for more.

I'm right?

How do you do? Nice hat. Why did you put it on?

Protects against the sun.

You've chosen the best restaurant.

Will they order food?

Tom kha kai, mai thai and prik khi noo swan, please. No cilantro.

Okay. And Mrs?

Will you order me something vegan?

I have an idea. A salad with prik khi noo swan, please.

- With flai lai? - There's no need to.

And five beers.

Only you drink beer.

I know. Can you order drinks yourself?

I'll take one of these.

And I am a Hot Mommy.

- Delicious vegetable. - You're welcome.

- What's her name? - Piglet.

Did you say you have to look into the toilet and judge your poo?

You check the consistency and the algorithm...

John is amazing. He has already sold the application.

I have to come up with an appropriate name.

- They didn't like the first one. - How did she sound?

John's Digestive Stool Application.

Not catchy.

How about "Colon Eye" or "Bowel Control"?

- Bill. - Alex is betting.

- Will you let the boy pay? - He invited us here.

- He chose a specific place. - Something like that.

- Maybe the alpha males will share the bill. - I do not know.

You are a proud person and I am a guest, so I'll let you pay.

Jacob's health.

- Health. - Thanks for dinner.

One question will remain.

What are we doing tomorrow and what time am I supposed to pick you up?

- What? - Dad?

I don't want to spend my vacation with this man.

Nice that she wants to show us the city.

I am calling a family council.

What a nice minibar.

What were you thinking?

We make a team and you left me.

I had to get a list.

A ringing phone makes you forget about the mission.

You only remember the mission. You left me.

Take it easy. We just split up.

Seriously?

Stewart is a great tour guide.

- I'd rather get lost. - Yes.

Go get Alex. We have to confer.

- You're a bad friend. - And you're a lousy ninja. And a ball and chain.

I wish I had finished this idiot.

- And now we don't have a list... - You didn't get it.

- I fell. A motorcycle was coming. - You failed the mission.

But you surely remember the name of this island.

That's what the student is for. You are not in control of the situation?

Forgot I'm just a ball and chain.

What was the name of the island?

What if I don't know? You failed these children.

So are the children in the cabin. You failed me too.

It was a blow below the belt.

- Who are you talking with? - With my cuddly toy.

- With a girl doll? - Exactly.

- It does look girly. - I know.

I think so too.

- Dad called a family council. - Okay.

Won't you get her inside? It's going to rain.

He can do without me. Are you coming

We are stuck with it until the end of the summer holidays.

- I'll tell him not to come. - Don't mention me.

Moment. Uncle will be sorry that we do not want to meet him.

- His problem. - Yes.

He doesn't like being refused by anyone.

- I remember. - Dad?

What now?

I have an idea. I found an amazing place on the web.

Koh Ho Ann is an islet near Bangkok.

I was counting on churros for breakfast.

There is no time.

The island can be reached by a small ferry that leaves only once a day.

- We have to be there by eight in the morning. - Let's hurry.

- Have you seen my Lentils? - What butterflies?

Are!

We're just leaving.

- Where are my panties? - In the sink.

- See you later. - He was mad?

He understands us. He sounded pleased.

I take a window seat!

Managed to.

Excuse me. There are no tickets.

It says the tickets have been collected.

- I reserved four in my name. - Who could take them?

Welcome to the port, enjoy rice and beer.

Uncle Stewart? What are you doing here?

- You forgot to buy me a ticket. - But…

Fortunately, they had one more. Are we going?

Dad!

Beautiful boat. As beautiful as Sirena with a hangover.

I was touched when you invited me on a trip.

What?

Nice shoes, James. They match the hat.

You look like a desperate and aging real estate agent.

Not. I've already tried.

Thought you were going to book me a ticket. There are no more places.

I have to wait until tomorrow.

Yes!

We're leaving!

Are we going to ride scooters on the island?

Not. It is too expensive and dangerous.

I feel sick.

And I would eat the soup.

- Sirena . .. - Don't throw up against the wind.

Something to drink?

Five beers, please.

And I'll take Long Island Ice Tea.

- Double. - It's tea, isn't it?

They had a spare cabin.

Thank you, but you didn't have to. I can sleep with you.

You're welcome. Will we share the bill?

I won't embarrass you for giving you money.

Are you gonna put cream on my back?

I will repay you.

You don't have to answer right away. Think about it.

- Cobra Farm? - What?

Cobras. Very good.

Thank you. Lovely place.

- Do you like the cabin? - Is pretty.

They have a farm here where they breed snakes.

- Cool right? - Cobras? Okay.

- Are you going to the beach? - We're at the beach.

- Will you go outside? - It sucks there.

- John bought cinnamon sticks. - I'm ordering the first one.

- Are you coming? - Not.

I prefer to look around.

My little adventurer.

Have fun exploring.

- I want to find Honey Bee. - Good luck.

There are 12 restaurants on the island.

I will find her and she will testify against Eppermint.

It's good that you are in control of the situation. I'm not moving from here.

I don't want you to come with me. You would abandon me again.

When you give the bodies back, I'll kill the dung when it gets to the island.

Great.

You need to hydrate yourself.

I'm working on it. Cheers.

Are you disappearing again?

I'm going for a drink.

I'm going with you. I need some snacks.

I'll buy you.

Don't you want me to go with you?

Not. Leave me alone at last.

But…

I don't know what you're up to, but I'll figure it out.

I'm looking for a girl named Honey Bee.

Not. Sorry.

Okay. Thank you.

Do you know Honey Bee?

I walk all day. Sweat mixed with dust on my face

I'm still looking for her, although I've been everywhere

Hopeless, no fun. Finding Honey sounds like a miracle

Back straight, head up. I can't stop

Where is she hiding? I'm on my way again

One man army, buddy let me down

I want to find out where Honey Bee is

- I can help? - I'm looking for Honey Bee.

- Honey? - Yes.

- Honey Bee. - Moment.

Are you looking for honey?

I do not understand.

It was the last restaurant on the island.

Out of the way!

- I'm very sorry. Are you OK? - It's my fault.

Definitely? I didn't have time to brake.

- Excuse me. - You're welcome. This is yours?

Yes thanks. I run a diving center on the island.

I am Jasper.

Alex. Diving Center? Do you speak thai

- Smooth. - Are you also a translator?

Yes.

- We need to talk about a mutual friend. - About who?

About Phillip Eppermint.

I wanted to reveal the truth, but I was afraid he would do something to me.

- Then he went to jail. - Yes.

- And now he's gone out looking for witnesses. - Not good.

- Will he arrive tomorrow? - The first victim will be Honey Bee.

- Lives here. - Where?

I can not find her.

She was supposed to live with the owners of a local restaurant,

but I've already checked all of them.

We have to stop him.

- I'll help you. - Can you find Honey Bee?

I know everyone here.

Give me a moment. I'll make a call.

Let's meet here at 6:30 PM.

- I found a translator. - Who?

From a factory that employs children. He hit me with a scooter.

- I'll kill him. - He wants to help us.

- Help? - He'll find Honey Bee.

- Did you tell him? - I'm in control of the situation.

He wants to punish Eppermint too. I'll meet you later.

What is?

- Did you turn on the drone? - Not.

The lamp is on.

- We came by. - And how, losers!

You can't hide the truth. I've seen everything.

How does he do it? Is it magical?

Has demonic powers?

- You should be hydrated. - Seriously?

Or maybe I should show the video to adults.

- The recording? - Yes.

On which you can see your girly,

a girl doll covered with hearts and fragrant with perfume.

- Stop! - Let me go! I'll kill him.

- Sean, apologize. - I?

Immediately.

Relax. Excuse me.

- Next time I'll finish you. - Enough. Make up.

- It moves and talks. - I'm not an object.

Relax.

How to call him? It's a girl?

- You're gonna get fit. - NK is a fighter.

- Exactly. - What's that shortcut?

Do not tell him. He won't understand anyway.

Innocent Woman?

We have an important mission. The lives of many innocent children are at stake.

- Seriously? - That's why you have to keep a secret.

- I see. - Really?

- Of course. I will not tell anyone. - Thanks.

As long as you take me with you.

- He's not coming with us. - What should I do?

We don't know if he can be trusted and looks like a hamburger.

I'm not covered in hearts.

Just ketchup.

- I'm part of the crew. - Sean?

- Wait here and stay on the lookout. - What?

Someone has to cover me when I speak to Jasper.

Unless you are afraid of being left alone.

I'm not afraid. Cat!

Are you sure you can handle it?

Is NK short for Innocent Bunny?

In this backpack you look a bit like a little kangaroo.

Watch out for the cat!

I'm going in. Let me know if you see anything suspicious.

This is.

Hi Jasper.

Hi. Come in.

- Did you get in touch with someone? - Definitely.

Hello. As you can see, I came early.

By my boat.

- You think I missed you in port? - Give me the phone back.

Good job Jasper. Do you have this girl's address?

You…

- Please. - Was that a trick?

Excuse me. I am in debt and I have problems of my own.

You're not gonna hurt her?

- You want me to get a life sentence? - Of course not.

They will kill me. You do not have to do that.

Shut up.

You're over, bastard.

What the hell?

Not!

What?

- You think this will stop me? - About…

What's going on?

- Not that. - Man…

I'm sick of this puppet.

Let's have dinner with Honey Bee.

First, I'll make coffee for the boyfriend.

What are you doing?

That's bad idea. The cylinder will explode.

- What is this cuddly toy? - I'm not a cuddly toy.

Come on, Sean.

It looks like our factory, but more girly.

Give me a kiss, bastard.

- Get in the clipboard. - Let me go!

You can see that you move your mouth, but you steer it nicely.

You can't. I don't want to leave my kid here.

You won't. We need to get rid of all the witnesses.

Didn't I mention that?

Have fun. We're going for Honey Bee.

- Plug your ears. - Wait.

Help! Sean!

Help!

Thanks.

Help!

Sean!

- Hopeless. - We can't give up hope.

Now we can.

They're going to kill Honey Bee

and we are in the center that will explode.

- Don't whine and set us free. - What should I do?

Show what you can do, student.

You said yourself I was good for nothing.

I am a kid.

- Did I say that? - And you were right.

Not true. This is the stupidest thing I ever said.

See how far we've come. You can not give up.

I wouldn't have achieved anything without you.

I can't handle it on my own.

I'm not a ninja or a bad boy. I'm just Alex.

- You're Alex. - What?

But let me tell you something. You don't have to be anything else.

You are as you should be.

You may not see it, but I can see it.

You organized a trip to Thailand and remember the name...

- Koh Ho Ann. - Exactly. You made us get here.

And I was talking to Jasper, which is why they caught us.

I lost ten children.

I will not lose another one.

Stop torturing yourself and get us out of here.

- I have an idea. - I told you so?

- I have to blot out your eyes. - What?

Stay away.

Three, two, one...

- Then you sew them on? - Of course.

Sucks. I'll gouge your eyes out if you lose them.

Good luck. You will feel a prickle.

- Ready? - I need to pee.

- What? - Fire!

Sean!

- Who is this? - Here.

- Here. - Where?

Hello?

Alex is trapped inside. Lift me up.

Fast! Turn off the stove.

- Where's Alex? - In the glove box.

Here! Good job.

Let's get them. Take my sword.

- Let's get Jasper out. - We do not have time.

He will die if he stays here. We have to get him out.

He sold you to those psychopaths. Leave him.

- Mission is more important. - The mission is not everything.

- I want to look at myself in the mirror. - That's funny.

Pick him up. We leave no one.

One two Three.

- Did you turn off the stove? - Yes.

I pulled the plug.

Not those. Fast!

Are.

- Where? - Over there.

Did you forget I'm blind?

- They passed us in the car. - We won't catch up with them.

- We don't even know where they're going. - The restaurant's over there.

Cobra Farm?

Today they are opening a restaurant.

- That's why it's not on the map. - Scooter.

Scooter! Yes!

He's pretty fast.

- Straight? - Yes. This road.

Is it supposed to be straight?

- Warn me about the turns. - Be careful!

It was close.

Take my Lentils.

Do you think about stuffing your belly all the time?

- I wanted to stuff you. - You are genius.

If you say so.

Of course.

We are looking for the Cobr Farm.

Do you know english

- It's here? - Not yet. On on the left.

How is that? Gas!

- He noticed us. - Fast! Seal me up.

I am finishing.

- Please. - Better right away. Do you have my eyes

- Moment. Sean, roll it up. - Okay.

Cholera.

- They're catching up with us. - What now?

- We have to lose them. - As?

Over there! Drive through the jungle.

Take care!

- Shit. - The boys will take care of them.

Let's find the girl.

- What about those eyes? - Second.

I see!

Excuse me.

- Did you fall out? - Yes.

- Be careful with the other. - Hurry up.

It's enough.

Remember to stay hydrated.

Good job!

- Attention! - He's shooting at us.

Seriously? I have not noticed.

I think it's there.

They came.

Go. Fast!

And I was like, "The laundry better be ready by Friday."

Thank you.

- Take the stairs. - Okay.

He will not hurt her witnesses.

Shit!

I have. Go get the car.

Get up.

- Take care of the Eppermint. - Okay.

Here.

Excellent.

I have. Goddamn brat.

Not! Shoot her.

Damn kids.

Shit! Sean!

- Shit. - I'll help him, you save the girl.

We leave no one.

I'll get you right away.

Not! I'll take you down.

Honey Bee?

Honey Bee?

Do not be afraid. He went away.

It's okay. I'll help you.

I finally got you.

- Way to go. - I'll take care of it. Run away.

This is.

Cholera.

Alex, are you there? Open the door.

Here!

Open up.

Die, cuddly!

I'm not a cuddly toy!

Go to hell.

You won't get away with it. You left a lot of evidence.

The basement is full of gasoline.

I'm gonna burn it all up when I'm finished with you guys.

I won't let you touch her.

So I'll start with you.

And you have!

Way to go!

Be careful!

Yes! Take the gun.

Stop!

Stop or I will shoot.

Good job.

Come here.

- Where's the lawyer? - We took care of him.

That's your merit.

I know what NK means. Nice dude.

You saved us with this drone.

And I filmed everything.

- I was broadcasting live on the web. - What?

Everyone will see that Eppermint is a bastard.

He was a bastard.

What? Yes. He is here. Moment.

To you. This is Jessica.

- Hello. - It's Jessica.

I saw you knock a gun out of this guy's hand.

Something amazing. I almost died.

As if it was someone else.

You decided to call because I was someone else?

Not. You were a total bad boy.

Not true. I was Alex.

Honey Bee?

- I have to go. - All right?

Yes.

But…

This is not the best moment.

What?

- He gave her the trash. - The train is gone.

He dumped you. Deal with it.

There are more fish in the sea.

Elegantly.

Thank you boys.

Churros! This is called a happy ending.

Good job. You got us a free dinner.

And they saved the little girl.

- Nice of them. - My superhero's health.

And my little...

- King cobra? - I do not eat meat. I am vegan.

It's neither fish nor poultry.

- Can be considered a vegetable. - Meat is meat.

As they say in the slaughterhouse.

Do you save your bricks?

I'm working on a new recognition program.

Will help with categorization.

Just take a picture of your creation,

and the phone will classify them itself.

Come on.

I'm going to the bathroom.

Collaborate with Shazam.

You fart and he will consider...

Hello? Are you there?

NK?

What is?

- I just wanted to see if you were still here. - How is that?

Mission accomplished. Won't you disappear without saying goodbye?

Of course not.

- That's good. I have something for you. - For me?

- I found a tailor in town. - Did you buy me a tailor?

Stupid.

A new body?

I ordered them yesterday.

- Real cashmere? - Thai silk.

I haven't found another sword.

This one isn't too bad, but the buttons are impressive.

I figured you'd like the color.

It is a pity it is already too late.

Man…

Our mission is over, but...

I thought I might stay here longer.

Not in Thailand, but at home.

- Are you asking if you can move in? - Not.

Of course you should stay, checked freak.

It's also about security.

- We don't know what might happen. - True.

"We ninja must stick together." - We?

Yes.

What are you doing?

- Will you try? - You know what?

They gave me the time off.

We can go home together. What do you say?

A double gin and tonic, please.

- Oh gosh. - About…

- Alex has diarrhea again. - Awesome. John, get the app ready.

What's your name?

- It suits? - Perfect. Get them here.

Whom?

Anyone.

CHECKED NINJA 2

BASED ON THE BOOK "TERNET NINJA 2" BY ANDERS MATTHESEN

The party is dying down.

Turn on the karaoke machine.

That's it.

Hey you! What's his name? Tanowat?

You have a pretty girlfriend.

At home, it would be worth a fortune.

Kidding.

Hear this.

I like to cook something when I have company

I'm not a famous boss. But I'll fry the steak myself

For this a fried egg and pickled onions

But as much as I try, It is already a boring dish

When you want to tweak the flavor Something is on my mind

Cook like Thai people

It's the whole secret.

Curry with chili and monkey's brain I dream about

Insects are delicious when you fry them

Add durian and galangala to your breakfast

The taste buds are on their head

Cook like Thai people

This will also work in other situations.

I recently watched boxing and paid for it

Looking at these amateurs, I was so bored

They did not deal any blows and could barely walk

They looked as if they were free in the ring and were dancing

When you feel like fighting, what will be called

You better see how the Thai people fight

Do you finish

The blow with the elbow and the ring teeth fall apart

And the silk headband looks great on the head

Who wants to get hit with a knee or a tibia?

Legs tremble with fear. Sons are already crying

Anyone else fighting like Thais?

Show you how I dance?

I'll just get up.

Excuse me.

It will argue.

- Uncle! - Listen?

You present a stereotypical image of Thailand.

I know. Here is the next verse.

I like to hang out in the bars Though my hips are fed up

So I go to massages and I am a good guest

Bertha the masseuse does not change things

He never jokes and the bed is made of stone

Before she tells me something cruel again, I will remind her that I am like Thais

What's so little?

You stand at attention quickly when she is good

You feel it relaxing

A happy ending is a generous gesture

If you ask me, I won't lie to you

Do you want to turn her head?

Are you broke and it's no longer your health?

Be like Thais

Credits: Antoni Regulski, Agnieszka Otawska

It was good.

Don't get in my way. I'm going to knock your teeth out.

I'm not wearing a flower wreath. I am allergic to pollen.