Original subtitles

Should I keep the suction, in case?

We'll wrap him up dry, okay? It's rough!

Boy or girl?

Boy!

There you go!

See his long nails?

Hi there.

Has it been born?

What?

- What is it? - A little boy!

A boy. Okay!

Congratulations, sweetheart.

Black hair...

Did you think it was a boy?

Just before, I started to.

Sorry, I have to go.

I don't know, darling. I left the room when the phone rang,

and we're not allowed to use phones here.

So my being out here is a little...

But I'll go back in, okay?

First prize goes to Argentina's Martha argerich.

Besides this prize, she has won many others,

including for the "most Polish" mazurka performance.

It's amazing Latin pianists

understand chopin with such a Polish sensibility.

Not so close to the camera, sweetheart!

Hello?

No, now he's confused.

Do you remember how it was when you were pregnant?

Do you feel like you played differently?

A bit slower.

It felt that way.

Yes...

Barely.

Not so much... The way I usually play, you know.

With a little bit of a forward lean.

Instead of being very... I always lean forward.

You know, like writing. Rushing forward.

Like writing which is like that. Instead of being... like this.

So I usually play like this, not like this.

And, okay, when I was pregnant, it was more like this.

Not really like this, but like this.

I did my ravel record, gaspard de la nuit,

and then...

You were in my belly.

I think I was in the sixth month,

or the seventh, something like that.

And when they sent me a copy -

it's one of my most popular records -

but when I received it, I almost cried.

I said, "it sounds..."

I received it much later. You had already been born.

I said, "it sounds like a pregnant housewife!"

It's not remotely suggestive, and not...

You know, that thing that's a little demonic, a little...

I'm expecting it in that piece,

because you don't know when scarbo is going to appear.

He's a kind of gnome, a kind of demon, right?

And then "ondine"...

Is ondine.

You know what an ondine is.

I like that.

It's lovely fruit, isn't it?

But I think it's a little...

I don't have a person for whom -

Vitaly always said it was important -

for whom I'm really...

Important, you know?

You mean a man?

Something that's...

Yes.

Do you think you miss being with someone?

My children are grown up,

with their own lives. That's different, too.

I'm no longer important for them, either.

It's the same thing.

And...

You know.

I work too much, and I travel too much,

and it's a little...

That doesn't really interest me, but I don't know...

There's something strange.

I think it's got to do with...

Age, or something.

But at the same time, I need quiet, too.

- You look great. - I don't.

You do, for someone who just got up.

Nonsense, I didn't sleep well.

I'm terribly nervous.

Really? That happens when you play chopin.

Yes, but mostly...

That's not the problem. The problem is deeper, I think.

- You see? - Also.

I'm telling you my problem is a bit deeper.

I don't know what to do about it, but it's urgent.

It is pretty urgent.

I'm getting sad, depressed,

and I'm not taking pleasure in my life, you know?

And... I don't laugh enough.

I feel like I'm making an effort, and I don't know why.

I mean, there isn't much reward.

Because everything is bla, bla, bla.

Okay, but there's something

which is truly not right, not at all.

And that's why...

What are you looking for?

One thing is for certain: When you play, you're happy.

- That depends. - Afterward.

It depends what I've played, and how.

Before, it's a disaster. No, it depends what I play, and how.

- But after the concert... - It depends.

Even so, I've rarely seen you...

I've always seen you happy after a concert.

Yes, but it depends.

Okay, leave it. Go live your life.

"Go live your life!"

Oh, but you are my life.

That's not true.

You're part of it, anyway.

- A big part. - Really? Big?

Yes.

One, two, three, four...

Often, people say it's impossible to be a mother

and to really lead an artistic life,

to be able to do both.

Many people think it's impossible.

I don't know.

Okay, my first try at motherhood wasn't a success.

But, I mean, at the time...

But with Annie and you,

I managed it, I think.

I did have a lot of help, too. And I wasn't in a couple.

I think that is possibly a little easier.

Because very often, it's not...

I'm not going to bad-mouth couples.

But it's often not a help, you see,

in such matters.

There's always a kind of problem

between her duty as an international soloist

and her true desire to do it, you see.

- To live her life as a woman, too. - Yes, that's it.

But how do you manage that, because we know it's not...

We haven't managed it yet!

Honestly, we're still trying to manage it.

It's not yet properly organized, actually.

At one time, you didn't see each other much,

with one playing in New York and the other in Tokyo.

Especially the first two years. Now, it's better.

We have the same manager, so he tries to organize it.

When I'm playing not with Charles, he's free,

and if he's conducting and I'm not playing,

I'm free. Then we can accompany each other.

Because concert tours aren't pleasure trips,

and you can't combine tourism and work?

We can't take our daughter when we're working.

How could we stay at the hotel when we have rehearsals?

What would she do while we worked? It's impossible.

Three...

Four?

No, four. See?

- Annie, please! - Stéphanie, be careful!

I got burned the other day.

Be careful, don't move like that. You'll spill the coffee!

Enough, thank you.

No, I don't like that!

Not too close, dad.

When it's too close, is that not good?

No, it's not good.

What's with you and that machine?

We'll movie-kiss.

We had a very unconventional lifestyle,

and that was a good thing.

But I remember

that mom basically didn't want us to go to school.

She'd say, "why go to school? Stay!"

Always: "Stay!" I'd say, "no! I'm going!"

So, rebelling was, "I'm going to school!"

Once, I remember coming home from school with a bad test score,

and mom had no clue about the marking system.

I had a terrible Mark, 3 or 2,

out of a possible 6. Or 2.5, I don't know.

So I showed it to mom, "see, I got 2.5."

She said, "bravo!". It was cute.

"But that's not good."

So, then...

And you, for example, never went to school.

At first, I remember, in kindergarten...

But then you went for two weeks out of the year.

Your teachers would always come up to me...

He rolled over! He rolled over the first time!

Bravo!

So, you never went to school, and your teachers hounded me.

I always had to write your notes, because mom...

I was little, but I wrote them and then mom...

Basically copied what I had written.

"Please excuse my daughter stéphanie

who couldn't attend today, as she isill."

Nonsense! I wrote that!

And, "best regards."

I'd ask mom to write and sign it, and she would,

and then you'd bring it to school.

Look how lovely juanita is!

There's not enough light here.

How is that possible? We'll bring her to the light.

What do you think of the grandmother I've brought you?

I look awful! Why are you... I look awful today.

No, you don't.

Do you feel anything?

The botanic gardens. My father and I came here all the time.

This is where we came all the time.

All my childhood photos were taken here.

Let's look at the plants. It's fantastic!

Let me look at the plants.

Let's try to share something.

It's very hard to film and share.

He took me here for a walk almost every day,

and he did magic tricks for me.

He always made candies appear from my head, like that.

He told me lots of stories.

It was very amusing.

He was always with me.

He really loved it.

And here?

Why won't she let us comb her hair?

Because it straightens out her curls!

I didn't like it.

She has a lot of personality, but she respects...

The stern gaze of her dear papa.

She is very affectionate and diplomatic.

She says things without saying them.

Already!

Her mixture of mischief and naiveté

makes her delightful.

Very funny.

He always took care of me.

I think he didn't let my mother, that's the problem.

Look...

You look a lot like her.

She looks like a Polish lady.

My mother? Absolutely, right?

All pale.

Very elegant, very put together.

Yes, impeccable.

I remember that at one point,

he wrote that you changed when you started piano.

I don't know which photo that is.

That my personality had changed; I had been so joyful,

and then I became a little...

"Sad and preoccupied",

something like that.

How old were you when you played that?

I played this in public at four years old.

And this.

What do you remember from that unusual childhood?

It's a combination of things,

some very good, and some frustrating,

because I didn't like working on the piano.

I wanted to be a doctor.

Did grandma go with you when you competed?

No, I went all by myself.

No, I really wanted to be alone.

And when people asked me about someone I resembled -

"what relation is he?" I would say, "that's my cousin."

I always wanted to create confusion

about my family matters.

I didn't want to be the "daughter", "fiancée",

or "girlfriend" of anyone.

I was always trying to...

It's weird, right?

I didn't want that.

She was very different.

She was very active, in her own way.

But she was also absent.

She was, after all, quite an extravagant person.

But as a mother, up close like this,

we didn't have much physical contact.

I might have been rejecting her, and she was very clumsy.

Once, I remember she wanted to be affectionate

and suddenly kissed my knee.

Very bizarre. You see how she was?

She was a bit strange.

See?

I don't remember her ever being...

- Physical. - Right.

But she scared me a little, too.

I don't know if I was scared of her because you were always fighting,

or because she really scared me.

But I remember when grandma was coming, Annie and I weren't...

We would hide way upstairs. We were a bit scared.

- Because of her gaze? - I don't know.

Don't do that! Take off your sunglasses!

No! That's 1,000 times worse.

- That not true! - Of course it is.

I look like Mrs. chiang Kai-shek!

I'm closing my eyes.

Take as many pictures as you like, but no eyes.

Open your eyes!

They're so slanted, there's no way.

Martha argerich, from Buenos Aires, won one of the top piano prizes.

You know, it's something that's very hard to explain -

what you feel when you leave it behind.

It seems unreal.

It seems like someone else did all that, not you.

And you no longer have access

to things to which you had access before.

I don't know how to explain it. The relationship with the piano

is so intimate, as you know,

because I started playing before I turned three,

so that makes it something that's hard to explain,

that access to it.

It's as though all of a sudden...

I don't know how to explain it.

It's like being used to running, a lot,

and then all of a sudden, for a few years

you don't even walk, or you can't.

And then you start again. It's very strange.

I felt like, at 17,

I was living like a 40-year-old guy,

traveling and giving concerts.

I felt like my life didn't suit my age.

And I was very dissatisfied with my artistic performance,

because I wasn't working with anyone.

I did nothing!

I drank beer and watched late-night movies.

Of course, my father didn't want me to play piano.

I wanted to play piano, but he didn't want that.

But then he said,

"it's because you can't compete...

"Or rather you mustn't play the same instrument as your mother."

On some level I knew she was a pianist,

but since we never talked about it,

and I listened to one recording over and over...

But that recording was my playmate.

I'd put it on when I played with my figurines,

my smurfs.

I made up smurf stories

set to prokofiev's third concerto.

It was always like that.

I'd play it over and over for an hour or two.

When I met you, you were four or five,

and Annie was

a pre-teen with glasses.

She was still an "ugly duckling", before she became

the lovely swan we know today.

Mom...

Was a kind of... apparition,

because this woman

was supposed to be my mother,

but... I don't know. It wasn't very concrete.

The maternal aspect wasn't really there.

I don't think she acted particularly maternal.

She was more interested

in me as a young adult,

and she herself was still a young woman.

There wasn't that much of a difference in our ages, I'd say.

She was a friend, a confidante, with something extra.

In any case, I had to get to know her.

At the same time, she was a stranger.

She was both familiar and a stranger.

Incognito. Let's go. Do you have time for a coffee?

I do, but I want to eat something.

I want to go to the radio.

To work there? Okay.

This is rough going.

In the situation with lyda, there was always a hindrance.

I feel like there was...

I didn't know how to be.

I didn't really know what to do.

I was always trying to get away from something

or someone, at that time -

the situation with my mother,

the situation with lyda's dad,

or the situation... It was always...

You know.

I don't know. It's hard to explain.

I didn't even dare go to Geneva.

If I got within 20 kilometers of it,

my heart would start racing.

I wouldn't go near it, I remember.

So, when I started my relationship with Charlie...

What were you afraid of?

Something.

I didn't want to go.

But when he took her away from you in Brussels...

I wasn't in Brussels, I was in Denmark.

How did you...

Very bizarre.

She was your first child, after all.

Yes.

But how did you feel?

I can't say.

I remember I was overwhelmed,

by everything.

I remember one thing chen said to me.

I had written to chen when I was in Brussels,

saying that "I felt a little like lyda's sister,"

like I was her big sister.

He used that against me, I think, because he thought...

But that's how I felt.

How can I explain it?

I did have lyda against all odds.

That's why I... I gave birth to lyda, I had her.

Is it good?

Yes, of course, I very much wanted to be like her.

That was a different time in my life.

I wanted to be like her, because she was beautiful,

famous, and a genius.

Now, I'd rather be myself.

Does this go with the black socks?

Or is it better without them? I like it with the socks.

Of course, I want to be by her side,

to be inspired by her -

less to be like her, but rather to share moments.

My mother smoked.

Bizarre.

She held it like this, I think.

You know? She held it like this.

My mother started smoking very late,

when she was 29. 28 or 29.

So it was always weird.

She wasn't really used to cigarettes.

She didn't really have the same hands, either.

She had big hands.

Her greatest wish, the thing she most wanted to do -

once I asked her about it -

she wanted to be able to heal with her hands,

to have the power to heal with her hands.

That's what she told me, once.

When I saw you in the icu after the operation...

In Los Angeles.

Your eyes were so full of energy.

There were tubes and things all around you,

but you opened your eyes,

and there was so much strength there

that it made me laugh.

It lit everything up.

You could sense such a strong will to get through it,

and it was really...

Dad was there too, and he laughed, but he doesn't remember that.

But I remember

realizing that,

I don't know, you would be fine.

You know? It was incredible.

Argerich piano clip: 500 yen

argerich chopsticks: 500 yen

argerich cell-phone cleaning kit: 300 yen

Cuvée argerich argerich macarons

official programme on sale here!

You watch everything.

You film everything. Why?

It's embarrassing.

Why do you do that?

I want to know. Why do you do it?

You don't do this with your father, do you?

No, he doesn't let me.

When he's shaving, or whatever.

No.

He didn't let you.

I didn't try.

I don't know what to do. I don't want to sit.

I don't want to mess up my clothes before I play.

Does this look okay? Is this nice?

I'm getting nervous.

How should I know?

And all this is so...

Everything is too solemn. I don't like it!

I love schumann.

I adore Beethoven, too, but I love schumann. I can't explain.

There's Mozart and schubert, too, but it's different.

I have a difficult rapport -

not with Mozart but with schubert. But it's not...

With schumann, it's a very direct thing. Beethoven, too.

But schumann - very, very.

- What is that thing? - I can't say, because it's so...

It's so direct it touches me deeply.

Each... movement of the soul, it's... I don't know how to explain!

It's so spontaneous and unexpected.

I mean, it's always...

I don't know. You must listen. There's no use talking about music.

It's pointless.

Words can't express it!

You can't explain music or what you feel.

How could you explain?

It's beyond words.

But when you've played the same concerto so often,

aren't you sometimes afraid of getting bored?

No.

It's the same when I listen to something.

I always discover things,

or new things come to mind.

Also, when I'm working on them, I'm trying not to...

Maybe it's wrong to try not to...

It's complicated.

One mustn't imitate oneself.

But it's best not to get worse, either,

and with age, I think you develop a complex

about being less able to do certain things, maybe,

or being less fresh, less crispy,

or the same thing that's happening physically happen to the playing.

You get scared sometimes. I always ask,

"can anyone tell? Is my playing off?"

But there's the relationship with the music, which is always new,

a bit like love.

So, the penne bolognese is for the gentleman.

Do you think he's changed a lot?

Maybe not.

It's a combination of things, because he's someone with whom

I feel very comfortable,

and he has a lovely,

harmonious voice,

but then he can be a hedgehog, too.

So, he has those two very different sides.

When he plays, what do you feel?

So many things.

It's like embers, it's something that's very contained,

very internal,

but it blazes.

A little bit of wildness, too.

And a lot of tenderness.

A lot of tenderness.

I think I loved your father

in a very internal way, too.

So, I'm Swiss, and my father is American.

He lives here in London. I live in Switzerland.

We would like to complete the acknowledgement process.

His birth certificate dated less than six months ago,

the divorce decree, a piece of ID, "certificate of marital status"...

To me, mom's big toe has always been something very unique.

It's true. I remember going under the piano

and looking at your toes, mom.

It's true. It's: The hair and the toe.

I think to caricature mom, it's the hair - the forelock -

and the big toe. Right?

Yes, the toes are a memory of mine, too.

Even if it's more recent.

Yes, always the feet, pampered in her own way.

I took mom to her first professional pedicure in New York.

It was hilarious, because she was embarrassed,

there were people all around -

and she didn't want her toes all the same color.

The girls there had never seen anything like it.

- Red for the big toe. - No, not red.

Orange for the big toe, blue for the others.

- No. - No? Why not?

- Not all of them. - Okay. One blue one.

I don't know, I'll see. Blue is okay. Green isn't.

No, it's blue. It's here.

I know, but I've done it once or twice.

Yes, we can do that.

The fourth toe, that's good. Very pretty!

- Orange for the big toe, right? - I think so.

- Or we do a blue big toe. - It's better to switch it up.

Too symmetrical is bad. It's a concept, mom.

- Make it green. - Or red.

- Blue. - Or pink.

Is it weird being 70, or don't you think about it?

Yes, it's quite bizarre.

I don't think about the number,

that's not it, but I know...

It feels weird. Yesterday, I thought it seemed unreal.

Maybe I'm going to be a little bit scared.

Don't you find that it gets easier?

At the end of a decade, you feel aged,

and at the start of a new one, you feel better?

No? Oh, well.

Okay.

Of course, when I see pictures and footage,

it seems like a different person.

It's not the image I have of myself.

I think that became fixed, I don't know at what point,

but it's not as I am now.

So, it's weird.

When your physical appearance doesn't match your self-image,

- you know? - So, you see yourself as younger?

Yes, at a different time, I don't quite know which one.

But it's a different time, not now.

When you were little, did you feel your age?

I didn't think about it.

- You didn't? - You don't.

But when you were young,

you didn't think you were a woman, right?

- What? It's true! - Well, I thought I was...

- You thought you were a... - A hermaphrodite?

I thought so, yes.

So when did you feel you were a woman?

I don't know. Never,

actually.

But, on some level, mom doesn't like to be defined.

- No, I don't. - It lacks mystery.

It's better to be both at once,

- or nothing. - We are both things at once.

We're always both things at once, and even...

- More than that. - Maybe more.

That's very pretty. I do like this one.

Where do you like to be? Where's home now?

That worries me.

That question

worries me.

Is it a place or people? Oris it... where is it, for you?

I don't know. That question is really worrying me right now,

perhaps for a different reason.

But do you think about it a lot?

About escaping? Yes.

No, that anxiety, or where you want to be.

I think about it.

The anxiety just comes.

Maybe you're like a migratory bird, mom.

I mean, why should you have to choose one place?

Maybe you could feel good in several places.

- You understand? - Yes.

I'm going to bathe, miss.

I think I'm in an awful state.

I haven't looked in the mirror,

but it's wrong to film me in this state,

in an inferior condition, miss.

A 60-year-old, an old woman, who's just got up.

Why?

What do you want to show?

Nothing. I'm watching, not showing.

Are you saying I'm lovely?

Between you and me, for example,

it was never really verbal.

We didn't talk much.

Even now, we have trouble talking,

because that's not the thing.

The thing is elsewhere, but I don't know where.

I can imagine.

But it's not really verbal.

We may not agree on many things,

and we may not have that many affinities.

Maybe. I don't know.

I'm making you yawn. It's always been like that, ever since...

When you were with me, you were yawning or hungry.

That's what

we should be looking into.

You know what I mean?

I look at you because I love to.

I love being near you.

It's physical, too.

I love looking at you.

Sorry.

My donkey

my donkey

has a painful head

madame has made

a hat for his head...

For his feast

and shoes of lilac

and shoes of lilac

her donkey has a headache, you see.

Because the lady made a hat for his head,

for his feast,

and lilac shoes.

The color of lilacs.

Are these the pirates?

The fish are sitting.