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Hello?

Hello?

How many times l had to account for the sexual needs...

...l suppressed for ages.

Foremost for myself, cause l thought l would never...

...meet anybody capable of coping with my desires.

l was used to his huggy sex and after a while l just accepted...

...it as the standard way.

And me being insane for...

...finding completely different things and acts...

...exciting and titillating.

l wanted to make plans and preparations.

No one who sees it or knows about it or to ask me.

As long as l don't choose for myself, the more l'll have to struggle through life.

And most likely it will be tougher and harder.

l clearly remember the first time being invited to a party.

Back then masterminding an alibi and devising an excuse to go away...

...took more time than the night in itself.

The scent of my perfume he knew so well, making him horny and gay...

...not for him and he wasn't supposed to know.

l flat out lied.

That night l was ecstatic.

l felt such an overwhelming love...

...with the orgy and the men who all wanted me and...

...l just had to cry.

There was a guy who whispered to me:

“lf you want to leave, just go, baby.”

He even promised me to guide me to the door.

Ah, so sweet, but not necessary at all.

l wished l could have cried and fucked for days.

l actually think l'm good at it, in crying and fucking...

...in lying, in leading a double life.

And if you ask me whether l want to quit...

...well, hell no.

Day 01

Hello!

Let me out!

What time is it? - Still early.

Stella...

...what are you doing?

Just...

...a quick fuck.

l'll have to shave me yet.

Another time, okay?

Why do you always do this sort of thing on those weird moments.

lt's not getting safer for companies...

...to operate internationally... - lt's hard to believe that none of the 19...

PlNOCCHlO

You will get me a copy of this, right?

Well then...

Yeah, deeper.

Hey, Gaya.

Uh, no l don't.

Right now?

ln the staff room he always comes to sit across from me diagonally.

With coffee, milk and a cheese sandwich.

He teaches mathematics. He has such nice eyes.

Such a hot look.

And a pecker, obviously.

Jeez, Stella. - Ah, gosh.

Next time just sit down straight in front of him temptingly.

ls he married? - How should l know?

Am l the only one here who's a bit tired of all that adulterous behavior?

Jesus, Laura... Let Quinty flirt if she want to.

What difference does it make? - We don't flirt at all.

Honey, just enjoy it thoroughly.

What's wrong with a little bit of attention, huh?

What do you want? Which choices do you want to make?

Choices will let one lose family and friends.

Yeah, l get you, but that's not what this is all about.

Well, l simply want to be found tenderhearted...

...and l want to share with one another without me being stuck.

Day 01.

Day 02.

Let me out!

l had been struggling after my first one night stand...

...when l was chatting thereafter with that guy on the Web.

Picking up a single sound outside my home...

...made me block him, since l was scared to death...

...someone would find out.

Particularly for Vincent to find out.

Even though it was only small talk.

And yet, a week later, l had myself screwed the hell out of me in a hotel room.

So something inside me did defeat the fear of being caught.

Maybe that fear isn't about your husband...

...nor about loss.

Well, then what?

Since l was scared to death Vincent would learn about it.

Yeah, so he would know what you are doing and what you are.

Yes.

Maybe you were afraid acknowledging it for yourself...

...what you're doing.

How early you are.

l really don't know what to say anymore.

Hey darling, l would really love to say to you that l won't do it again...

...and that l'll change, but...

...l can't do that.

Stella, piss off, will you?

What the hell am l supposed to do?

Pretending l'm someone else? Crowding out my feelings?

How about taking my feelings into account?

We had sworn loyalty to each other, didn't we?

Honey, l am faithful to you, am l not?

Faithful in the sense of sharing my fears...

...and vulnerabilities and my secrets.

Well, not all your secrets, apparently.

No, not all.

You don't even look at me anymore.

Not the way you used to.

lt's been a long time since we fucked.

For real, that is.

Sometimes l just feel like a bird in a cage.

Yeah, that's it, right?

Day 02.

Day 03.

Hey!

Goddammit. Prick.

Goddammit, release me instantaneously!

Are you coming along to that reception next week?

Otherwise l'll be bored to death. - Sure.

lf they have snacks and drinks. - The other girls come too.

All our receptions are catered for.

To a good concept, eating and doing business.

What is your showpiece?

Which penalties do you impose at your place?

Vacuum cleaner in between is so noughties!

His jacket?

We have Our Lady of Mogilev.

That's hard to believe.

That's an icon from Russia.

For years it was gathering dust in damp storage areas...

...and there wasn't a single penny for renovating their museums.

Since the fall of the Berlin Wall those art objects can be sold easily.

Did you know portraits of Virgin Mary were favorite in Russian art?

Why do artists worship virgins all the time?

Worshipping an icon isn't allowed, only honoring.

l didn't know you loved arts.

They say that when an icon is no longer honored...

...the gold begins to peel.

Are you sure you want to do this? - Yes.

You are the only ones l had to think of.

Luca is full of tension. l have never seen him so nervous.

What about you? - l'm scared as hell.

And excited.

Now what?

Well, it's a regular sauna, so let's get used to each other...

...and look at one another. Then we'll see.

l don't want to force anything, because our friendship is just more important to me.

Thank you.

Vincent...

l truly can't do this. Sorry.

Sorry...

Yeah, sorry.

Sorry.

Pity.

When did you realize you were caged?

When l felt Vincent wasn't the man l thought he was.

Well, he fell of his pedestal, just to put it like that.

l don't know, it sounds harsh and that's not intended.

But because all of this l started to think for myself...

...and so life came into me.

That was heat down to my lower abdomen and even deeper.

Purely physical.

And l couldn't arm against it or apologize.

lt just happened, literally.

Day 04.

Day 05.

Who are you?

Christine.

Stella.

How did you get here? Have you seen someone or something?

l was in my car. l stepped out in front of my home.

Subsequently l'm completely blank.

Hello! - lt's useless.

Who's doing this?

l have no idea.

l don't have a clue.

Listen, we need to get away from this place.

Maybe all this is a joke.

A joke? - Yeah.

Maybe. - l've been here for five days.

This is no joke. - Five?

We'll have to wait, okay? Probably there will be an opportunity to escape.

Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, ora pro nobis...

...nunc et in hora mortis. Amen.

We'll have to sleep one after the other.

Last time he took me while l was sleeping.

l surely don't want that to happen again.

What's here?

Hey...

Wait...

Goddammit.

Yes. - You've got a cell phone?

Fuck! - What?

Yeah, no range of course.

This he knew, naturally.

They're just fucking me up. - Stop cursing, please.

l'm completely hyper.

For the moment l cannot get a wink of sleep.

You'd better get some rest.

lf something happens, you're the first one to know.

She asked if we're having a good time.

Oh yeah, it's very pretty, the Lady of Mogilev.

My English sucks big time.

Well, Gaya is here to make you comfortable.

Why don't you tell our guests the story of Lady Mogilev?

Well...

Shit, uh...

l do speak a bit Dutch, you know.

My brother-in-law has just flown in from Russia.

My wife lives here for years now. He's on his annual family trip.

This seemed like a fun excursion to us.

What about you? You're here with your husband?

Well, if l were, l certainly wouldn't be here with you.

Oh, what's wrong with a friendly little chat?

Oh, nothing at all. Absolutely not.

But try explaining that to my husband.

Yes, and to my wife.

Where is she anyway? - Why do we always need...

...permission of others when we feel good?

But that's over, once and for all.

You want it all.

You want love and attention from one person and...

...sex and adventures with all the others.

ls that so bad?

Am l depraved?

Am l a bad and wicked woman and am l doomed?

l don't judge. l just take notice.

Well, maybe l'm too eager.

lf l make love to my loved one, l make love to him.

And when l make love to a stranger, then l have sex with myself.

l use my body to great extent. l feel everything and l conquer myself.

My liberation does indeed have a sexual component, but...

...it's not quite the same as only sex.

lt's like taking off a hard coat l was wearing.

When that coat went out, a very strong woman came forth...

...instead of an anxious and troubled girl. A complete metamorphosis.

Day 05.

Day 06.

Christine...

Christine!

Goddammit!

Cocksucker! Son of a bitch!

l've been thinking.

l have called John this afternoon and l can stay with him for a while.

Judy: 06-05630665

SDD: The site for swinging people

MEMBER LOGIN: Daisy69

NEW MEMBERS

l...

l learned you're on SDD.

SDD?

You have wonderful pictures. A dashing profile too.

Only paying members are allowed to watch those.

Yes.

That's right. - You? Judy?

Then what's your SDD nickname? - Daisy69.

Oh well, it isn’t your date of birth, is it?

lt would be fun encountering each other once.

Right, who knows?

Ah, Judy, would you please come over here?

Well, have a nice weekend. - Likewise, thank you.

Until Monday. Please switch off the lights when you leave.

Don't forget the alarm. - All will be fine.

Until Monday. - Have a nice weekend. Goodbye.

All l can think of today is you.

And l have to confess something.

Oh?

Although l signed up...

...l've never been in a swingers club.

So you want me to bring you along someday?

Yes, l do.

l'm not sure if that's a wise thing to do.

We see each other every day here at work.

Am l attractive enough for you?

You're a beautiful woman.

That's not the issue.

Nobody needs to know, right?

l mean, whom should l tell about it?

l did sleep deliciously.

Just a bit too short.

Come...

No.

ls anything the matter?

No, but you'd better leave now.

Jeez, may l just wake up first?

Certainly, yes.

l've got coffee downstairs.

How do you want to proceed?

Proceed?

Our relationship...

Stella, come here immediately!

Have you lost something?

And shut that door, will you?

Calm down.

You're back.

Chill out.

l'm okay.

l'm alright.

Another moment, please.

l've had an orgasm.

l didn't want to...

...but then l thought: l'd better not go against it.

Goddammit...

Oh, pardon me.

All the time l merely keep thinking about those stupid surveys:

"What's your most titillating spot?!"

No!

Are you okay?

There is no hope whatsoever.

What?

Why do you think so?

My husband is definitely searching for me.

What's your husband's name?

Vincent.

And you're not missed by him?

No, l don't think so. Not at all.

What do you mean? You've been away from home for days now.

We're not going so well lately. He lives aside for the moment.

Does he have someone else? - No.

And you? - No.

Not really.

Not really?

Not somebody else. No. lt's a complicated story though.

And that's the reason of you two breaking up now?

What? - Well, what you just said.

Not somebody else... You have several lovers, l guess.

Lovers, well, that's quite an enlargement.

Don't you feel guilty?

l honestly can't help it. l truly tried as hard as l could.

l couldn't cheat for sure. - Splendid.

We'd better discuss how to get the hell out of here.

By which ways and means would you attempt?

We need to know for certain that he's alone.

Excuse me?

l feel that he's not companionless.

And why would you presume?

Just a feeling.

Are you fine?

Yeah, l think so.

l put your clothes on.

You were pretty far and away.

l'm convinced he gave me a substance.

What would that be? - l don't know.

lt might have been G. - G?

Gamma-Hydroxybutyric acid. Drugs.

How would you know the resemblance?

Hey...

Mmm?

He said l was here because of you.

He did speak to you?

lndeed.

He said: “lf you're wondering why you're here...

...go ask your little girlfriend.”

But keeping his mouth shut with me means that l know him.

Where the hell have you been lately?

He's evidently worried l recognize him.

Think it over!

Probably one of your speed dates?

How many men have you fucked recently? And how many disposed of at the same time?

My God.

Oh, now God is worthy enough to help you out.

Think about it carefully!

Someplace you made bitter enemies. ls anyone stalking you?

Consider everything...

Uh, you here? - Yeah.

How are things at work?

l miss you.

You know, Judy, in regard to last time...

...it's not like l regret us having sex...

...but l don't think it's prudent to make out ever again.

You should just give it some more time.

Well, l don't think... - Now that Vincent left...

...l'll have to ask you if l may come over tonight.

That's not a very good idea.

You can't just use me.

Excuse me?

Why don't you answer my text messages?

Judy, let's please... - You took advantage of me.

You used me and then dumped me!

lf you really want to talk this over...

...why don't we find us a different place to quarrel?

You harmed me in such an incredible way!

Well, sorry. l gotta go to a birthday party.

Damn. Shit. - What is it?

He's got my wedding ring. - l have people who care about me, bitch!

And now there's a man molesting me because you have something to hide!

Layoff, will you? Do you really think this is what l'm waiting for?

This is exactly what he wants.

He's longing for a ringside seat to watch how we'll finish each other here.

You've got to tell me something more, Stella.

Please...

l'm quite sure you don't want to hear those things.

With all this here, you don't think l can handle that?

What's the deal with you?

l'm completely innocent. lt gotta have something to do with you.

How dare you cheat on your husband?

lsn't sex supposed to be entirely exclusive?

l search for uniqueness in other things.

Sex is purely physical.

What could be more personal than that?

Well, one's fears, inhibitions, grief...

...and one's insecurities.

Unconditional love.

That's what l share with my brother. We'll do anything for each other.

l missed that family bond due to my parents being divorced.

When l was only five years old.

l've never seen my father since.

He went abroad. He and my brother.

You didn't visit them at all? - No, unrealizable.

Childhood often plays an essential part, doesn't it?

As usual, my nature is caused by father's immorality?

Well, darling, l didn't have a troublesome youth.

When a woman is sexually aggressive, she's been traumatized or just having a loose screw.

A man is rugged and tough and a woman simply a whore.

Why can't people just accept that having affairs is what l want?

lt makes me feel happy. l sense a lot more joy in anything.

l respect others more. l've more energy.

And how many problems did you end up in with that behavior of yours?

You can't just interpret your vows to God by yourself!

Does the wedding promise state l can't fuck other people?

Excuse me?

Faith is something completely different than not being allowed to see other people.

And please stop lecturing me!

"lf you're an adult, you can do whatever you want", or so they say.

Well, l haven't noticed anything at all.

First, my father tells me what to do and what to give up.

And then, school controls your life.

Next, my boss dominates and my friends dictate with their agenda.

Plants waiting to be watered, the refrigerator in need of weekly cleaning.

Well, finally, Vincent for his biweekly...

But there has been a moment...

...l considered to stop all of that.

To put an end to all.

Soon after, there was that single night when everything changed.

l was with a friend.

Well, we played a game of Trivial Pursuit. l won.

Since years l thoroughly enjoyed a glass of red wine again, making me jolly and merry.

On the way home l found myself in a snow storm.

ln the middle of the night, on the unlit A17...

...from Zierikzee to the inhabited world.

l was making fun of myself.

Either driving through the snow without flash signals and crashing my car against a rod...

...or gazing and focusing to get home safely within two hours.

lt was to be the latter option.

l put the radio on and went driving.

The radio program featured an invited guest...

...who had suffered from depression as well, but had conquered his illness.

He spoke exactly the way l thought.

When furthermore my kind of music was being played...

...something peaceful got into me, which harmony was there to stay forever.

l could do it. l could choose.

l didn't think about sex anymore, since l completely degenerated into it.

My body transformed into a flower and after that night...

...that flower couldn't be more gaping. The games could and would commence.

First with men, quickly and secretly...

...then with a woman.

A horny girlfriend.

Kisses, horny chats. And once we opened up to men...

...there was no holding us back.

What l feel now is such an immense alienation compared to all that l felt before...

...when l was still in my cage.

l stroke and caress my own arms.

l bent my toes with joy. l varnish my nails.

l shave all what should be smooth.

Even though nobody's waiting for me.

This body wants me badly.

When l ride my bike, l feel the saddle in my crotch.

When l flirt, the world winks back to me.

My body's celebrating.

24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

lt's partying.

l send invitations...

...and for each and every one...

...willing to participate...

...the door is wide open.

Having sex...

...stops spinning my thoughts. No father's voice...

...murmuring comments. No boyfriend asking if l'm pleased.

This is solely mine.

Sometimes l'm feeling guilty.

Positively monumental guilty.

ln your life you can deny everything, except yourself.

All may come back to you, but...

...the price you've got to pay for yourself is the highest of all.

And as of now, l'm supposedly an oddity.

A woman allegedly envisioned by lots of men...

...but whose manifestation only occurs in myths:

A unicorn.

How to explain this to society...

...or describe?

For me, it's like going to the movies...

...but l step into the silver screen to be part of the action.

So... did you enjoy the view?

l still do.

May l have a bitter lemon?

Where's your wife?

l strapped her at home.

Have you ever been tied up?

You like to be in control, huh?

Raymond, we need you now.

l'm on my way.

l'm not gone yet.

Jake.

Any details yet, Azi? - No.

Exhilarating paintings you've got.

2,5 mL GHB.

Cheers.

Okay...

Raymond!

Playing with yourself is prohibited.

Hey, dude!

What the hell you think you're doing?

Prick. - Much better now.

Motherfucker!

So much better.

lt's superb...

...this way.

Hey...

Hey...

Hey...

Get ready, huh?

Come.

l belong to one out of four women who fantasize about it.

Every night thousands of women finger themselves to orgasms while...

...picturing they're being forced to have sex.

One rapist, two...

...or five simultaneously.

Two under, two in both hands...

...and one cock in the mouth.

lsn't that fascinating? Fantasizing...

...but if push comes to shove, we're all terrified.

That's logical to me.

Then why do we have those fantasies? Why screaming bloody murder...

...if things have been too rough on one occasion...

...while our brain fancies taking on five dicks at a time.

These matters and thoughts keep racking my brain.

Before long l doggedly decided that one bad apple...

...is not to poison my pleasures and happiness.

l could have thrown in the towel comfortably back then, but...

...instead l became more confident and self-assured.

Do you think he's behind all this?

Go figure, all my friends try to get back they once used to have.

l'm still fighting for myself to regenerate in what l really am.

l don't know what it is, but l'm sorry.

l'm really sorry, okay?

What have l done?

lf l caused you grief, l'm terribly sorry.

l'm sorry. Apologies.

Hello!

l've been cut.

There're two.

Another one joined in.

Are you in pain?

Hey...

...does it hurt?

l bet it was drugged.

l don't know.

lt's definitely not sedated.

l'm beginning to understand what they're doing to me.

Do you know A Clockwork Orange?

A violent person gets bombarded with images of violence...

...in such a manner he couldn't cope with it any longer.

They're trying to break me and destroy me.

Demolish all l've got.

My freedom, my independence.

l'll not have it taken away by this here.

Suppose we're outside tomorrow...

...are you gonna pick up where you left off before imprisonment?

Would you attend fuckfests again?

Well, l think l would have quite some difficulties in doing so.

Like me, you're disconnecting...

...emotions from sex on that table here.

And all lust and pleasure of sex...

...is replaced by fear.

We'll have to substitute this here for something else...

...so anxiety will cease to exist.

What arouses you?

Excuse me?

No excuses.

Try visualizing it.

l can't.

l usually express myself...

...very easily, but...

...with you it's entirely different.

Oh, just because l'm monogamous you assume l don't have sexual fantasies.

l like to be in control.

l prefer sitting on top to rule...

...the bouncing cadence.

l love giving head...

...since it gives me a tremendous sense of power.

His entire masculinity within my mouth.

l love watching myself. - Really?

Mirrors...

And pictures and videos?

Horny as hell.

There's something exhibitionistic about me.

For example, walking in public without underpants.

No kidding? That's what you do? - Yeah.

Recently l went shopping with some friends...

...and then we had something to drink.

There was that handsome guy at the bar...

...with whom l had eye contact.

That eye contact was so bright...

...so full of desire and passion...

...that l couldn't help going to the toilet.

l had to climax quickly.

Without a single word he entered the ladies room...

...closed the door...

...and fucked me rocking hard on the wall.

As quietly he joined, he left.

What do you like best about yourself?

My buttocks.

l myself your breasts.

Your appearance.

Your scent.

What are you doing?

Visualize.

Sorry.

Sorry.

My husband is gone.

What?

Damian.

He cheated on me last month.

Why didn't you tell me?

How?

He met someone else.

Damian?

Where are you? Call me back as soon as you can, okay?

First they deceive and double-cross you. Then they choose for themselves...

...and they walk out on you as if you're to blame.

l hate and despise that!

They haven't the right to.

We'll get out of here, l'm sure. lt probably won't be long.

That treason.

lt has such a stranglehold on all your emotions that all around you is suffocated.

Until everything is dead and buried.

Apart from a furious angry rage.

l've seen that when my parents divorced.

You're an extraordinary woman.

Stop that in my basement!

Do you realize what you ruin and trash?!

There's really something wrong with you, huh?

Let me.

Yeah...

Well, what if the Stella of the present looks at the Stella from a year ago?

What do you distinguish?

That she's alone, then and now...

...and probably will stay that forever.

Furthermore, that l kept secrets from myself and currently only from others.

l would tell the former Stella that symbiosis doesn't exist at all.

That although she's willing to bond, she will not be able to carry it through...

...which is liberating and painful at the same time.

Finally, if she wants to rule out loneliness, she'll have to sacrifice her freedom and be caged.

Thank you so much.

Day 15.

Day 16.