Original subtitles

NARRATOR: And now, DreamWorks' The Penguins of Madagascar.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYS]

-Cute and cuddly, boys!

-Here for your tour?

Fine.

Pay attention and keep up.

I talk fast, and I walk faster.

This is an elephant.

This is an otter.

Potty break.

CHILDREN: Yay!

ALICE: Movin' on.

This is--

-Excuse me, sir.

You dropped this.

-Oh, oh, why, thank you, young man.

-Y'know, you could have totally kept that dollar.

-But returning that dollar was my good deed for the day.

-Good deed for the day?

-Oh, yes, ma'am. [CLEARS THROAT] Let nothing keep you

away from doing a good deed each and every day.

--[SIGH] Whatever peels your bananas.

Come on, we wanna hit the rhino before he digests breakfast.

-Now, that's the way to do it!

-Yeah, you don't want to catch Roy with a fuming tailpipe.

Oh, you're talking about the good deed.

-But Skipper, don't we already do

good and right wrongs and such?

-Frequently.

-Ah, yeah!

-Yes, but these uniformed child operatives

do it each and every day.

Gentlemen, we have a good deed gap.

Well, that was frustrating.

-Skipper, maybe one of our fellow zoo animals

would appreciate a good deed?

[HUMMING]

-(SHOUTING) we need you!

[GROAN]

-You guys really need to learn to knock.

-No time for niceties, sister.

This is an urgent matter.

-We need to do our good day for the day.

-Oh, well, sure.

That is urgent.

-You're telling me?

We need to do it sometime in the next eight hours.

[MUFFLED SPEECH]

-Well, you could clean up this mess that you kinda made.

-Now, don't think twice about it, Marlene.

We are good deed to go.

-Leaf cleaning accomplished, Ma'am!

-OK.

Not bad, guys.

-Team Do-Gooders, we have achieved good

deed doing for the day.

-And with seven hours, six minutes left.

[METAL CLANG, CRIES OF PAIN]

-Who the devil whacked me with a bucket of wet leaves?

-Oops.

-It appears to be a back injury.

-I know it's a back injury, Phil!

-Fear not, Mason.

Allow me to introduce my Crankotronic

Spinal Straightener.

-That looks suspiciously like a mediaeval torture device.

-Sometimes, we have to look backwards to move forward.

-Ah, so it is a mediaeval torture device.

-Pretty much.

[PAINED NOISES]

-(RELAXED) Oh, yeah.

-No, I am not getting into that.

Ever.

-But if you don't, this bad deed will

cancel out our good deed for the day.

And then our good deed record will be permanently soiled.

-I fail to see how that is my problem.

-Men, the situation is dire.

We've gotta fix that simian's sorry spine.

You ever hear the words coming out of your own mouth

and think, what's that guy talking about?

KING JULIEN: Oh, yes!

Yeah, that is the stuff!

OK, good, turn to the shoulder blade.

Yeah, get-- get up in there.

Oh, yes, work it.

-Bingo.

-Yeah, sure.

I can help Mason.

-Mm, no.

If you want my right hand man's right and left hands,

then I'll need something in return.

-But we're doing a good deed, maybe you could do one as well.

-Did you hear?

Did you hear what he just said?

Oh, you were serious.

-Well, yeah.

-I mean, you'd think it's just so-- OK, I'm through now.

No, I'm not.

-Knock it off and name a price, ringtail.

-OK, OK.

Good deed.

-Ringtail.

-I should like a pink feather from the flamingo's booty.

Yes, a pinky booty feather will add that touch of elegance.

-Nuh-uh, baby.

Nobody's pluckin' my tailfeathers.

-What if we give you something in return?

-Ooh, mm, well, I could go for some peanuts.

-Oh, yeah.

I got lots of peanuts.

You can have some if you score me some extra hay.

-Hay, eh?

Hmm.

Yeah, I got some, but if you want it,

you gotta do me a favour.

-We prefer the term, good deed.

-So what do you need, odd-toed ungulate?

-Guess.

Stop trowin' our banana peels over da wall over dere?

-Uh, dis we could do.

-Yeah, well for a price.

-How did I know?

All I'm saying is we could do with a nice pizza pie--

-Extra pepperoni.

Capisce?

-Yes, and we also understand.

MAN (ON PHONE): Hey, you got it.

One pizza, extra pepperoni.

Be there 30 minutes, or your pizza's free.

COMPUTER: Gratze.

-Suit up, boys.

Maybe finally we can put this good deed to bed.

COMPUTER: Thank you.

-Thanks. gotta run.

If these pizzas are late, the boss'll have my-- hey!

Ever heard of a tip?

Penguins?

-He's seen too much!

-Hiyah!

-Here's your tip, delivery human.

Know when to walk away, know when to run.

-By receiving this pizza, you agree

to the previously negotiated terms.

Namely, that you will stop throwing

banana peels into Roy's habitat.

-Of course, what do you take us for?

-A coupla mooks?

-Banana peel free and loving it!

-Pleasure doing business with you.

-Mmm-mm!

I do love me some peanuts.

-Mm.

Yes.

I like it!

-By jove, man, you did it!

Your hands are miraculous.

I'm a new chimp!

-Glad I could help.

-All right.

Now we can put our good-deed-doing to bed.

-Uh huh.

-Boys, it's time to crack open a cool, frosty high five.

-Wow!

Sorry about that.

-What gives, Private?

Called for high fiving.

Get your head out of the clouds!

-Sorry, Skipper.

I just keep thinking about the pizza delivery boy.

-Oh, no worries there, Private.

By the time he comes to, he won't remember what hit him.

-No, no, Skipper.

He's got a truck full of pizzas waiting to be delivered!

-Wow!

-All those metro area families going hungry,

and it's our fault!

-Those numerous bad deeds will far

outweigh today's one good deed.

[PHONE RINGS]

MAN (ON PHONE): Hey, Bob, are you making those deliveries,

or what?

-Uh.

MAN (ON PHONE): I told you you got 30 minutes

or it's your job, and that was 22 minutes ago!

-Uh, OK.

-All right, boys, hang on to your pepperonis.

We've got a pizza run to make.

-I don't need to continue my sessions, Doc.

Because I realised there's no way an elephant and a bunch

of penguins ever came to my apartment

to return a kazoo I lost as a kid.

I mean, that's-- that's crazy talk!

Finally, my pizza.

Keep the change.

COMPUTER: Gratuity nice.

-Actually, Doc, forget what I said.

I'll, uh, I'll see ya Thursday.

-Thanks!

-Last delivery.

-What was the last address again?

-410, 52nd Street.

-I see a 408 and a 416, but no 410.

-Wait, was that East 52nd, or West?

-I'm not sure.

I suppose that little squiggle might be a W.

-Cross town.

Rico, take the wheel.

-(AMUSED) Good deed.

-Rico, look out!

You're not supposed to--

-[WHISTLES] Hey, [GIBBERISH]

-Thanks to Rico's complete disregard

for the rules of the road, we got here in record time.

-Still, we only have 20 seconds to get

this pizza delivered to the seventh floor.

-We'll never make it!

-Never is not in my vocabulary.

Neither is cutlet, for different reasons.

Rico!

A little lower.

A skosh.

And fire!

-A few more seconds and our pizza is free.

-Five.

-Four.

-Three.

-Two.

-There you are!

My fastest driver.

-Huh?

What?

-You're the only driver who got all

the pizzas delivered in time!

Today, you are no longer a delivery boy,

you are a delivery man.

-Oh, really?

Oh, that-- uh, uh, uh sweet.

-Well, how 'bout that?

A good deed, pure and clean.

[LAUGHING]

-Hey, hey.

Hey, Maurice, wake up!

You know what I was just thinking in my brain?

-Do tell.

-That time the penguins wanted we to do a good deed.

What were they thinking?

It's so funny!

Join with me!

It's funny, Mauri-- come on, it's a little funny.

[GRUNT]

MORT: I want Cheezy Bits!

-Mort?

What are you doing?

-I want Cheezy Bits!

-That's not how you get snacks out.

First we need to find some money.

You'd be surprised how much loose change

ends up under of these things.

Hey, this oughta do the trick.

MORT: Yay!

I got Cheezy Bits!

Yay.

-I can't get the door open.

OK, not getting out that way.

Still, there must be some way out of this stuffy box.

One, two, three!

--[SPITS] I do not like Cheezy Bits.

-Marvellous, Mort.

-Who put a pretty pink floral arrangement in there?

Private, I'm looking at you.

Or I would be, if you were here.

Where's young Private?

-Hmm.

0800 hours, he should be watching the Lunacorns.

-Weird.

-Man, something smells fishy here.

I mean beyond the ever-present fishy smell of our home.

[SCREAMING]

-This mango is rotten!

Oh, I'm so angry.

I need to be kicking something.

Mort, assume the position.

Hey, where is he?

-Not where he usually is.

-The lemurs are missing key personnel, too?

-Mmm, [GIBBERISH].

-We'll canvass the zoo in a counter-clockwise

concentric circle pattern.

Now, the advantages of this search--

-Boring!

Let's move out.

Ringtail, I said move out.

-Shh!

Look, Prince Sharesalot forgot Princess

Selfrespectra's birthday!

And she is devastated, look at her!

-You want devastation, ringtail, I'll give you devastation.

-Uh, Skipper, maybe it's best we leave him watching the tube.

I mean, the king's helping usually

isn't that helpful, know what I mean?

-There.

-Yay, you did it!

What did you do?

-Because of the narrow and woefully confining space,

I can't get enough force to knock the glass out.

But this tightly coiled spring just might.

So when I untie the licorice vines, it'll--

[CREAKING]

-Oopsie.

I eated the vine.

-So I noticed.

-Rico, a fellow soldier's MIA, and you

want to stop for munchies?

-Um, nuh uh?

-Right.

Now, stay frosty, man.

Private and Sad Eyes could be anywhere.

PRINCESS SELFRESPECTRA (ON TV): My birthday wish

is, I wish I'd never had a birthday!

-[GASP] No!

NARRATOR (ON TV): The Lunacorns will

return after these important messages.

-Aww, ma-- oh.

These messages are important?

Then I will pay extra attention.

PROFESSOR (ON TV): Hey, hey, kids!

Professor Quimby Q. Cutiepie here.

I'm coming to your area to reveal my brand

new collection of cutie pie cuties.

-Ahh That is Mort, and the silly penguin!

They are petrified with fear!

-Better hurry, because these limited edition

animals won't last long.

-No!

-Yes!

Soon they'll be locked away in the professor's vault, forever!

NARRATOR (ON TV): Meet the professor this afternoon

at 8686 Battery Place.

-8686 Battery Place.

8686 Battery Place.

-Private, oh, Private.

We've got winkies.

-Forget it.

This private bait just isn't cutting the mustard.

-Uh, so can I toss these away then?

They're kinda creepin' me out.

KING JULIEN: 8686 Battery Place.

8686 Battery Place!

I know where they are!

They've been taken by an evil professor,

and he said they won't last long!

He's gonna lock him in the vault, forever!

-And you know all this, how?

You were watching the Lunacorns when we left.

-8686 Batt-- Yes, and it was very good, too.

But then they interrupted the show

with a very important message!

-Breaking news?

-Yes, very broken!

Fortunately, the TV box said where to find this man,

and it is 8686 Battery Place!

-That sicko's got a whole place for battering?

-And he calls himself an academic.

-I've gotta get outta here.

Get a grip, Private.

Going crackers won't solve anything.

OK, think.

What would Skipper do in this situation?

He'd ask for options.

So what would Kowalski say?

Probably something I wouldn't understand anyway.

Course, Rico'd just want to blow it up.

Yes, that's it!

It starts with these winter fresh mints.

You see, they spark when you chew them.

The sparks will ignite these flaming hots, which

will act like a fuse and burn to these very

combustible sugary sticks.

And hopefully they will blow with enough bang

to knock this window out, while we're safely

hidden behind a packet of crisps.

Pretty smashing plan, eh, Mort?

No!

MORT: My mouth got all sparkly!

-Ugh.

It smells like seafood up t--

COMPUTER: What are you looking at, buddy?

-Hi, Face.

My name is Mort.

What's yours?

[SLURP] That's a funny name.

Oh, that's not you, is it, you silly face?

What are you licking?

-Well, Mort, I've fashioned these hard candies

into a wrench, and now I'm going to use

it to open the back of this machine so we can escape.

-Oh, boy!

Can I help?

Can I?

No, Mort, you cannot.

In fact, don't touch anything at all.

Every time you touch something, it goes all wrong,

and I wind up trapped in here for another hour,

and-- is it me, or is the oxygen getting thin in here?

-That sounded just like the bossy penguin.

Oh, now do the throw-uppy one!

No, that's still the bossy one.

COMPUTER: Keep up the good work.

According to my calculations, this

is the evil professor's back entrance.

I believe we can enter through that ventilation grate.

STORE MANAGER: We are so excited for this event.

We'll get you out in front of the kids in just a few moments.

-OK, Quimby, it's showtime!

-OK, Rico, it's showtime.

-What was that?

-Where is lemur?

Where is penguin?

-What is this?

[SCREAMS]

-So, kids, without further ado, meet

Professor Quimby Q Cutiepie and his cuties!

-Uh, Kowalski, shouldn't a mad scientist's lair

have more instruments of death, and less adorable children?

-One would think.

-Uh, guys.

What's with all the plush?

-I don't know, beats me.

-Boys, I think we've been the opposite of right.

-Mmm.

And I wonder how that could happen?

-Where is my Mort?

Tell me, or I shall insult you with a withering put-down!

Probably something about your sense of fashion.

I don't know, it'll come to me.

Why are we fleeing?

-OK, Mort.

We have enough food to last us several days.

And surely Skipper will find us by then, right?

-Mmm, my finger smells funny.

You wanna smell it?

-No.

I'm going to conserve energy and sleep.

You should do the same.

-Nighty night!

[LOUD BURP]

-Nah?

What-- what was that?

-Ooh.

My tummy no feel so good.

-Mort, What happened?

Where's the food?

-Eh, I got hungry.

-So you ate everything?

Well, even the Cheezy Bits?

-They're not so bad after the fifth bag.

-Do you realise what you've done, Mort?

We needed that food.

You've doomed us both!

-Doomed?

-Yes!

Doomed, doomed, doomed, because you're dumb, dumb, dumb!

Oh, don't you dare cry.

Because the only thing worse than being trapped with you

for the rest of my life is being trapped

for the rest of my life, with you crying!

-The vending machine is empty again?

Bah, gotta restock.

-Huh?

Shh.

Oh, I can breathe again!

Mort, you did it!

Eating all that food actually saved our lives.

I'm sorry I got cross with you.

-And I'm sorry I eated all the food.

-But Mort, don't you see?

It was a good thing that you ate the food!

-But you told me not to.

No, I know I did.

But it was good that you did anyway, because it saved us.

Don't you understand?

[STOMACH GURGLES]

-I have to go potty.

-They could be anywhere by now.

We'll never see Mort again.

-Or Private.

[MOURNING NOISE]

I will not have this unit going soft.

Private was a first-class soldier,

but I don't expect to miss him any more than I missed

Manfredi, or Johnson, or-- Private?

You're alive!

Don't scare me like that ever again.

You hear me?

You hear me?

You hear me?

You hear me?

-It's good to see you, too, Skipper.

-Mort, you are alive!

Oh, OK, go on and bring it in.

Oh, I am feeling such a happiness

that I don't even want to kick you.

-Really?

-Yes.

But tomorrow, look out, cause I've got a footy with

your booty's name all over it, you know what I'm sayin'?

-Hooray!

King Julien's going to write my name on his foot!