All language subtitles for Ghosts.2021.S04E18.Smooching.and.Smushing.720p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-FLUX

What's going on?

Remember that ghost trap
from a few years ago

that you got stuck in
and then almost eviscerated by?

Yeah, Thor recall.

Well, I have a theory that
if I can get inside of it,

Sam and Jay
can carry me

off the property,
and I could finally

get to Shiki.

Assuming Jay
can fix it.

Well, it's a ghost trap

from Latvia,
and he's a chef

with an all-in-one
screwdriver.

I'm not loving
our odds.

And now he's blowing on it

like it's
a Nintendo cartridge.

Which, honestly,

used to work
like 90% of the time.

Damn it, still nothing.

Sweetie, let's call

the repair line. Maybe
they could send someone.

Babe, I got this.

Jay's got a lot
of great qualities,

but being handy
is not one of them.

Maybe if we put it in rice.

He's a loving husband,
a good friend...

Not to make things awkward
by stating them out loud--

but that's also sort of
a fun thing to do--

wasn't Pete trying
to set you two up?

And now,
you're going

for Shiki?

Sometimes the story
wants to take a turn.

Sure, it seemed like Sass
and I were meant to be,

but then we
found out Shiki

still holds a torch
for our boy.

And then Joan
convinced me to be bold

and go after Shiki.

A perilous trip in
a ghost trap for love.

I mean, that's what
the people want to see.

That and a huge monkey
in love with a beautiful woman.

Sass, how do you actually know

that you can cross the ghost
boundary in the ghost trap?

Yeah, won't trap
just spit you out,

like when you try
to cross in landship?

Maybe, but,

unlike a car, the walls
of the ghost trap

are impenetrable
to ghosts.

So you're saying the ghost trap
could override the boundary.

And then you could
get off the property.

And finally
end centuries

of torturous
sexual frustration.

We are rooting for you.

Thanks.

Damn it, I think the circuit
board is shorted out.

He doesn't know what
any of those words mean.

Uh--

Oh, that screw's probably extra.

Set your watch, Flower.

'Cause in a mere three hours,
I'm about

to land something incredible
on eBay.

I don't have a watch.

I have a tattoo of a sundial,

but I'm not sure
that's helpful here.

I'm about to be
the proud owner of a piece

of cinematic history.

The original ice skates
worn by Moira Kelly

in the figure skating rom-com
The Cutting Edge.

Seriously?
Mm-hmm.

Trevor, you're the
only ghost with a job.

Why don't you try

doing something good
with all your money?

I am doing something good.

I'm keeping these
skates from the clutches

of Moira Kelly
foot fetish freaks.

By having them go to
just a regular stalker?

I'm a cinephile.

Trevor, instead of
being a capitalist pig,

why don't you donate your
money to a charity?

You could save
the narwhals.

If narwhals are real,

which I think they are.

Look, you don't get it

'cause you don't
have any money.

It's easy for you
to say "give it all away"

when it doesn't
cost you anything.

Fine, go ahead.

Buy your ice skates

you can't do anything
but look at.

That's not true.
I can smell them.

Which I won't.
Because I'm not a creep,

as we previously established.

Hi, I'm Jay.

You must be the ghost
trap repairman.

That his wife called
behind his back.

Yeah,

I am Janis.

Okay, well, FYI,

it's like 80% fixed
already, so...

Shh.

What's going on?

You have ghosts.

What? How-how would
you even know that?

You haven't even used any
of your equipment yet.

Janis can tell.
Janis know ghosts.

What is he doing?

I take care for you.

Retreat!

Uh, don't shoot!

I mean, we don't think
that's necessary.

Is no charge.

Janis enjoy destroy ghosts.

Oh, well, we appreciate

the offer,
but we really just need

the ghost trap fixed today.

I mean, it's just
in the other room.

Yeah, you better run.

What the hell, Thor?

You ducked behind me
when that guy

pulled out the ghost gun.

Uh... Thor not think so.

It was really
quite pitiful.

Sass,

you jumped right in front of me.

Oh, it just seemed
like the thing to do.

Hmm, not the thing

that everybody
was doing, though.

Uh, Thor was...

trying to protect
your backside

from potential
laser beam ricochet.

Unlike Sass,
who cowardly

used Joan to protect
himself from ricochet.

Yeah, this is just sad.

Do you think
I'm a selfish capitalist pig?

Of course, it's
one of your only

redeeming qualities.
Why do you ask?

Because Flower said
I should be more charitable.

The poor are always suggesting

that the rich
be more charitable,

when the truth is, if they
simply invested their money

rather than wasting it

on frivolities like
bread and kindling,

they wouldn't
need a handout.

Flower said that
I should be giving

my money to good causes,

like saving the narwhals.

The narwhal.
Glorious creature.

And delicious with
a hollandaise.

What does Flower even know?

She's never even had any money.

Perhaps what
you need to do

is teach her a lesson.

What do you mean?
I'm saying you're right.

Flower has never
had any money.

It's easy for her to judge.

But what if we were to
put those morals to the test?

What are you cooking up?

A plan in which
two rich people

show a poor
the error of her ways.

I like it.

You really ate a narwhal?

Just a tiny piece of one.

It was a little... chewy.

Though the horn made

for a wonderful cocaine straw.

Waste not, want not.

Hmm.

Sam, ask Janis

if he thinks the ghost
trap can successfully

transport a ghost
across the boundary.

Uh, Janis,
can I ask you a question?

Uh, no, I do not need
to break for lunch.

Mother has made
me many pierogi.

I keep in pockets
for snack.

Oh,

okay.
That's nice.

No, let's say,

instead of
using the trap

to catch and
destroy a ghost,

you wanted
to use it to...

transport a ghost across
the ghost boundary.

"Ghost boundary"?
What is this "ghost boundary"?

Oh, it's just
a theory that we have

that there might
be a boundary

at the property line
that confines

ghosts to the property
that they died at.

That sound silly.

Okay.
Uh, let's say,

hypothetically,
it exists.

Okay, I play along.

So, what you say, ghost cannot
cross property line, hmm?

Right.

But also, walls of ghost trap
are impenetrable to ghost.

Uh-huh.
So, then,

if you try to take ghost
across property line

inside ghost trap,

Janis think smush.

Excuse me?

Smush? Uh,
we're gonna need

some clarification, Sam.

Sorry, when you say "smush..."

Yes... smush.

Immovable object

meet irresistible force,

ghost go smush.

Well, that
sounds bad.

Not to Janis. Janis hate ghosts.

Think it very funny
to see ghost go smush.

I don't like that.

So, yeah, we all
thought there were just

two possible outcomes

to trying to cross
the ghost boundary--

either it works
or you get spit out

of the ghost trap--
but apparently

there's a third
possibility

that we hadn't
considered:

smushing.

I don't follow.

I don't know, Joan.
Janis didn't elaborate,

but it sounded like
I could be crushed to goo.

Disintegrated.

Wow, all you wanted
was a little smooching,

and now you're facing smushing.

I'm sorry.

Look, obviously, I don't want

to see anything
bad happen to you,

but on the other hand,
we don't even know

if this Janis fellow is right.
I mean, you said it yourself,

he didn't know
about the boundary.

That's true.

And he carries pierogis
his mother made him

in his pockets.
I mean, that's weird.

Yeah, it doesn't
bolster the case

that he's an infallible expert.

Here's my two cents:

no great love story ever ends

without fighting
through some adversity,

taking a chance.

You're saying...

love is worth the risk?

I'm saying that when
you put her hand

in yours and
you stare

into each other's
eyes a-and you feel

that spark,

that's when you know
you're sitting across from

the one that was
meant to be all along.

Joan, there you are.

Remember how I told you

I was working on a screenplay,
the Christmas rom-com?

Well, I'm in
the second act

and I'm struggling
to think of an obstacle

to put in the way
of the romantic leads.

Well, off the top of my head,

you could have
an annoying friend burst in

and ruin what could have been
a very special moment.

Yes. That's so good.

Maybe we could
just get something down

while you're here.

I'm gonna step out.

Are you sure?

You're a storyteller,
you could help.

I'm good.

Poor guy,
probably felt like

a bit of
a third wheel.

Ah, Flower, just the person
I was looking for.

Oh, sorry,

were we playing
hide-and-seek?

I forgot.

No, I was
thinking about

what you said earlier,
and you were right.

I should be doing something
good with my money.

So here's what
I'm gonna do.

I'm giving you $5,000,

and you use it however you want.

Really?

Huh. What
a magnanimous gesture,

with no obvious
ulterior motive.

Trevor,

this is so great.

I can do
so much with that money.

There's a cat shelter in town

that's always
sending flyers for donations.

And the previously
mentioned narwhals,

if they, in fact, exist.

Or you could keep the money.

For yourself.
Get something you want.

If it makes
you feel better,

you can spend
the money on me.

Maybe sort of
a nice middle ground?

Ooh, there's a spot on my wall

that would be perfect
for a life-sized Momoa poster.

No,

I am a
charitable person.

I need to do
good with it.

That makes
sense. Besides,

what earthly
possession could even

improve the life
of a ghost?

I mean, except for
the obvious choice:

candles.

- Candles?
- Mmm, their sweet,
sweet smell,

something even
a ghost can enjoy.

And they come in so many
different fragrances now.

Vanilla bean,

sandalwood,

patchouli.

Patchouli?
But I digress.

You stick
to your guns.

Do good for others
you will never meet,

despite the fact that
a magical world of candles

is but a push
of Samantha's finger

on a computer
button away.

Ah,

damn it.
I can feel Momoa slipping away.

Hey, guys, can I talk to you?

It's about Shiki.

Um, do you think
I'm rushing into things?

Well, it's been 500 years,

so Thor going to go with "no."

Yeah, but now people
are talking about smushing,

and the truth is, in some ways,

I don't even know
Shiki that well.

Because the extent
of your relationship

consisted of
a dozen hellos?

It was 13.

Sasappis, you've been
carrying a torch

for this woman for
half a millennia.

Where is this
hesitancy coming from?

Okay, the truth is...

I think I had
a moment with Joan.

And, honestly,
I don't know,

it-it felt kind of right.

Well, maybe you should
listen to that feeling.

Yeah.
There's a lot of
strong arguments

to be made
for you and Joan.

She's already here
on the property,

you and she
have spoken

in the past
five centuries,

you wouldn't
have to risk

being smushed
into goo.

Maybe you're right.

And maybe the whole thing
is in my head,

but I need to find out.

I need to talk to Joan.

Yes, go to her.

"Be bold, and
mighty forces

will come
to your aid."

That's Goethe.

But I know it
from Samantha

showing us
Almost Famous

during that Kate
Hudson movie night.

Good luck, Sass.

Can be hard to be
vulnerable with someone.

But...

...take it from hero
who protect

Alberta's backside,

you can do this.

Hey, Joan.

What's going on?

Oh, just sitting here,
feeling like a damn fool.

Pete,

I think I'm falling for Sass.

I knew you would like him.

Man, am I the greatest
matchmaker of all time?

You know, there is
a cavewoman with a unibrow

that I think Trevor would like

if he just got to know her.

No, Pete, this is bad.

Sass is going
to see that Shiki woman,

and I'm just yesterday's news.

Or maybe you're who
he's meant to be with.

You'll never know unless
you tell him how you feel.

I just don't know what I'd say.

Well, we could workshop it,
do a little improv.

You pretend I'm Sass,
I'll pretend you're you,

and just for fun,

we're on a pirate ship.

So I just...

I'm Sass. Shoot your shot.

Okay.

Listen, I came here
with low expectations,

but somehow, in this
short time, it seems

I've fallen for you.

So I guess what
I'm saying is,

do you think
there's a world

where you might
be interested

in a girl like me?

I think there's a world
like that, yeah.

Oh!

Okay, you're right.
It's not that bad.

I can do that.

Unfortunately,
the world I speak of

is in shark-infested waters.

The same sharks who got me hand!

Pretend this is a hook.

I'm not going to do that.

Fair enough, matey.

- Please stop.
- I can't.

'Tis me curse.

Okay, ghost trap all fixed.

Thanks so much again
for coming out.

We really appreciate it.

Is no problem.

Capturing and killing ghosts
is passion for Janis.

Oh, this man is
not growing on me.

Also, Janis
upgrade capacitor.

No extra charge.

What does that mean?

Means trap can now hold
100 ghosts without overloading.

Also, Janis glue on
little googly eyes

because not everything
need to be so serious.

I'll show you out.

I can't believe
you're really

going through
with this, Sass.

You are a brave man.

What's that
supposed to mean?

You say Thor
not brave?

I-- No.

Thor brave!

Vikings, man. Touchy.

They don't show you
that in the documentaries.

Hey, Sass. You a moment to chat?

Well, anything
you want to say to me,

you can say
in front of my friends.

It's just... it's important.

You know what else is important?

Me crossing the ghost boundary

to get to the love of my life.

Got it. Okay.

Well, um...

I just wanted to say,

uh, good luck.

So, Flower,
have you donated

all your money
to charity yet?

Nope.

Yeah.

I heard you might've gotten
a little distracted.

In fact,
Sam mentioned,

she helped you
make a purchase.

Don't feel
bad, Flower.

Materialism is
a powerful seductress.

No one will
think less of you

for literally burning
all your money on candles.

But I didn't buy candles.

I bought movie memorabilia.

Sam helped me

outbid you on eBay for
Moira Kelly's ice skates.

Wait, what?
You outbid me?

Mm-hmm.
What are you

going to do
with the skates?

Sell them back to you
for $10,000,

which will
help me save

twice as many narwhals,
if they, in fact, exist.

I'm not giving
you a penny.

Fine.

Then I'll just have Thor
zap them with electricity

till they catch on fire.

We were always
burning things

in the '60s: bras, draft cards,

Governor Reagan's
Cadillac.

I don't understand.
Why are you doing this?

Because it was obvious

you two were conspiring
to teach me a lesson.

We were outsmarted

by a half-wit, which makes us

not even quarter-wits.

It's these
moments of self-doubt

when one
could really use

a narwhal tusk
full of cocaine.

Flower... this
isn't fair.

Capitalism isn't fair, Trevor.

And now you know that.

This is why you don't
give money to the poor.

Okay, Sass,
after I drop you off at Shiki's,

I got to go pick up
Sam's dry cleaning,

and they close at 6:00,
so I guess it's time.

You're combining Sass's
possible smushing

with an errand?

I don't have
any clean sweaters.

That checks out.
She's clearly

at the end of
a laundry cycle.

We're in
the cardigan reserves.

Sass,

before you go,

Thor want you to know
that you've been

good friend.

Oh, thanks, man. You, too.

You've always had my back.

Exactly. Back.

Most important
part to protect.

Seriously, Thor?

Listen, everyone,

if things go badly today,

I just want you
to know that I love you all.

We feel the same.

But if the unthinkable
should happen,

I just want to say,

I call dibs
on his back rubs.

Oh, damn it.

Shoot, I forgot the
dry cleaning ticket.

I better get that.

They don't play
at Happy Clean.

Be right back.

Okay.

I'm going in.

Good luck, Sass.

Sorry that I can't watch.

It's too scary.

But I know
it's going to go well.

What's going on here?

Oh, Sass is
in the trap.

Jay's about
to take him

across the ghost
boundary to see Shiki,

barring smushing.

What? Sass,
can you hear me?

What is it, Pete?

Did Joan talk to you?

She didn't need to.

I heard you guys
talking in the den,

and I know you both
like each other,

and it makes sense
because, you know,

you both are roamers
and you both like wordplay.

What? No, Sass,
she was practicing

what she wanted
to say to you.

It was improv,

incredibly
well-acted improv.

Wait, Joan likes me?

Where is she?

I saw her leaving
the property.

She looked upset.
I assumed,

per our conversation,
you told her

how you felt
and she rejected you.

It's a reality
I accepted

without question.

No, no, no,
I never told her how I felt.

I have to get out of
this trap and find her.

All right, I got the ticket.

Let's hit it.

I'll go get Sam!

Yes, yes, yes,
please go get Sam!
Aah! Sass!

What do we do?

Maybe you two should
get into the trap.

Three ghosts
overloaded it last time.

I'll stand watch

and shout
encouragement.

That ain't gonna
work this time.

That guy Janis upgraded
the capacitor.

It holds more
ghosts now.

Thor know what
Thor need to do.

Be hero.

Don't worry, Sass!

Thor is here!
Thor?

What are you doing?

Thor think can
short out trap.

But if it doesn't work,
then we could both be goo.

Well, then,

better work.

Oh!

They're out! Huzzah!
Thor did it.

Ah, that truly
was heroic.

Oh, man, Thor is
gonna be insufferable.

Dude, you risked
your life to save me.

You really do
have my back.

Thor have your
front, too.

And top.

And bottom.

Okay.

Sass, are you okay?

How did you get out of the trap?

Thor risked his
existence for me.

Maybe.

He might have actually
just prevented us

from discovering
once and for all

a way off of this property,
but it was still brave.

Just did what
need be done.

Are you all right,
Sasappis?

You look kind of
down for someone

who just escaped
possible liquification.

Doesn't change the fact

that I completely
blew it with Joan.

I mean, how could
I have thought

that she's into Pete?
I'm so stupid.

I think there probably was
a nicer way to say that.

Now she's gone

and she could
be anywhere.

Well, doesn't
she live in L.A.?

Can't Pete go
look for her?

Yes, but L.A.
is massive,

from what I've seen
on Selling Sunset.

Well, maybe
there's a chance

that we could catch her
at the airport.

Yes. Oh, my God,
that's so romantic.

I almost got caught
at the airport once,

but I smartly ate
all my ludes

before the dog
sniffed my bag.

You can chase her down

and stop her
from getting on the plane

and-and tell her it's her,

she's the one I want to be with.

Sounds like you've got yourself
an act three right there.

Joan. I-I thought you left.

Oh, I did.
But I decided to come back

and give you a piece of my mind,

tell you
what a dummy you've been.

Thankfully, you seem
to have figured it out

all on your own.

Well, now's
your chance.

You have 30 seconds.
Win me over.

Okay. Um, Joan...

I'm kidding.

Shut up and
kiss me, you fool.

Have sex now.
Please, just end this.

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