Original subtitles

(man)* THE OCEAN AND THE TIDES

* THEY HAVE BROUGHT YOUTO MY SIDE *

* THE OCEAN NEVER LIES

* JUST THE WAVESAND TONIGHT *

* THE OCEAN AND TIDES

* THEY HAVE BROUGHT YOU...

(girl)WHEN I WAS STILL IN MY CRIB,

MY FATHER BEGAN TO READTHE ANCIENT GREEK MYTHS TO ME.

HE TOLD ME THESE STORIES

BEHIND MY MOTHER'S BACK,OF COURSE.

HE BROUGHT THEM ALL TO LIFE:

WARRING FAMILIES,CAPRICIOUS GODDESSES,

VIOLENT SERPENT BEASTS.

OKAY, SO YOU MIGHT QUESTION

WHETHER THEY'RE WHOLESOMESTORIES FOR A TODDLER,

BUT HE INSISTED.

IT WAS HIS FATHER'S STORYTELLING

THAT TURNED HIMINTO A CLASSICIST.

HIS STUDENTS SAYHE'S A GENIUS.

THAT MAY BE SO.

BUT THOSE OF USWHO KNOW HIM BETTER KNOW THAT...

WELL, HE'S GOT METO KEEP HIM TOGETHER.

(man)GOOD MORNING, PROFESSOR.

(man)GOOD MORNING, JAMES.

PROFESSOR?

SO YOU'RE OFFFOR THE HOLIDAYS, PROFESSOR?

AH, YES,OF COURSE, ANGELA.

UNLESS YOU WANT TO GET TOGETHERFOR SOME EXTRA TUITION

OR SOME EXTRACURRICULARACTIVITIES.

UH, NO.

NO, YOUR RESULTSWERE EXCELLENT, ANGELA.

HAVE A LOVELY HOLIDAY.

SHE LIKES YOU,DAD.

WHAT, ANGELA?

YEAH, DUH.

(man) DON'T BE SILLY.

MY CAREER'S ON THE LINEAS IT IS.

I DON'T KNOW, DAD.SHE'S PRETTY HOT.

HOW OLD ARE YOU?

DAD?YES?

ARE YOU WORRIED?

YES--NO.

WELL, NO,NOT REALLY.

EXCEPT FOR PROFESSOR RATCHER,EVERYONE ELSE IS ON BOARD.

NO, NO, NO, NO.

NO, NO, NO,THIS IS PREPOSTEROUS.

IT'S MAGIC SPELLS,UNSUBSTANTIATED POPPYCOCK.

HOW CAN I JUSTIFYTHE EXPENDITURE?

MY DEAR RATCHER,

THIS YOUNG MAN ISTHE MOST DISTINGUISHED ACADEMIC

THIS UNIVERSITY HAS SEENIN A GENERATION.

AN AMERICAN PROFESSOR.

I HOPE YOU'RE RIGHT,DAD.

AND WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DOIF THEY DON'T GO FOR IT?

UM, WELL, I GUESS

WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO GO BACKTO CONNECTICUT.

YOU MEAN,I'LL GO BACK TO CONNECTICUT

TO LIVE WITH GRANDMAAND GRANDPA.

WELL, JUST TILL I GETANOTHER POST.

BESIDES, IT'S WHATYOUR MOTHER WOULD'VE WANTED,

WHICH IS WHY WE'RE NOTGONNA LET IT HAPPEN.

DR. BRADLEY.

COME IN.

[door slams]

(Ratcher) DR. BRADLEY,

YOU ARE AWAREOF YOUR VERY WEAK POSITION

AS VISITING PROFESSOR EMERITUS?

YES, YES, I AM.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO REMIND ME.

AND YOU ARE ALSO AWARETHAT THE LAST TIME WE MET,

YOU PROMISED US THATYOUR DATABASE WOULD BE COMPLETE.

I AM AWARE OF THAT, GENTLEMEN.

I'M ALSO AWARE--

(Ratcher) AND ARE YOU ALSO NOT AWARE

THAT THE UNIVERSITY GRANTIS OVER BUDGET?

GENTLEMEN, I PROMISE YOUTHAT WHAT I'M WORKING ON

IS VERY, VERY REAL.

IT WILL COMPLETELY CHANGE OUR BELIEFS

OF THE ANCIENT GREEKS.

NOW, IF I MAY IMPRESS UPON YOU--

(Ratcher) YES, YES,

WE KNOW,AND I'VE HAD ENOUGH.

NOW, LOOK, YOU MUST UNDERSTANDTHAT IF YOU GIVE ME--

WE HAVE DECIDEDTO GIVE YOU THE SUMMER

TO COMPLETE YOUR PAPER.

THE SUMMERTO COMPLETE MY PAPER.

UH, REALLY?

SO CONTRARY TO MY OPINION,

TWO OUT OF THREE OF USSEEM WILLING TO ALLOW YOU

A LITTLE MORE ROPETO HANG YOURSELF.

I PROMISE YOUTHAT BEFORE THE SUMMER IS OVER,

I WILL COMPLETE MY DATABASE,AND MY RESEARCH WILL ECHO

THROUGH THE HALLSOF CLASSICAL STUDIES,

AND YOU ALL WILL BE RESPONSIBLE.

YOU WON'T REGRET THIS.

[glass shattering]

[laughing]

HAVE A SMASHING SUMMER.

(girl)SO TILL SEPTEMBER, HUH?

WELL, I GUESSIT COULD BE WORSE.

DO YOU REALLY THINKYOU CAN DO IT BY THEN?

I DON'T KNOW,SWEETHEART--

THOMAS.

PROFESSOR COULTER.

(Coulter) SERENA.

[panting]THOMAS, DON'T GETTHE WRONG IDEA.

WE REALLY DO BELIEVETHAT YOU MAY HAVE SOMETHING HERE

WITH YOUR LOVE SPELL THEORY.

NOW, LOOK HERE.

WHY DON'T YOU GOTO MY HOUSE IN GREECE?

I DON'T GET THERE VERY OFTEN THESE DAYS.

TAKE YOUR DAUGHTER,

AND USE YOUR TIMETO FINISH YOUR RESEARCH.

I'M SUREYOU WON'T BE SORRY.

THAT'S REALLY VERY KINDOF YOU, PROFESSOR,

BUT I MEAN,I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

OW.SAY YES.

YES.WE'D LOVE TO.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH,PROFESSOR COULTER.

YOU KNOW, I HADA DAUGHTER ONCE, SERENA.

SHE, TOO, WASVERY FEISTY.

YOU REMIND MEOF HER A LOT.

[shouting]

(Serena) WHAT ARE THEY DOING?

WHAT, JUMPINGFROM THE BRIDGE?

THAT'S AN AGE-OLD OXFORD TRADITION

TO CELEBRATE THE COMINGOF THE SUMMER.

WHY?

WHY?BECAUSE IT'S FUN.

AND IT'S SPONTANEOUS,AND IT'S CRAZY.

[shouting]

PROFESSOR BRADLEY.

HEY.

GET HIM!

GUYS,WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

NO!OH, MY GOD, NO!

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!

COME ON IN,PROFESSOR!

COME ON!

OH, MY GOD!

NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!

HE CAN'T SWIM!

[panting]

ARE YOU OKAY,DAD?

YES.

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?YEAH, I'M FINE.

I HAD A BAG.NO, THAT'S--

PARDON ME.THANK YOU.

YOU SUREYOU'RE OKAY?

UH-HUH.

YOU'RE SURE?YUP.

YOU'RE SURE?YOU'RE OKAY, RIGHT?

[airplane engine buzzing]

[tires screeching]

(Serena)SO WE TRAVELEDTO THE SMALL ISLAND OF SPETSES.

FROM THEN ON, OUR LIVESWOULD NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN.

(man)I BET HE'S RICH.

LOOK AT THAT.

MY DAD HATES WATER.

THIS HAS GOT TO BELIKE A NIGHTMARE FOR HIM.

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HAND?

THE GORGONA,SHE BIT IT OFF.

THE WHAT?

IT'S A SNAKE-HAIRED HEATHEN.

IT'S A DARK MYSTICAL FIGUREOF THE SEA.

ARE YOU OKAY, DAD?

HEY.

[vomiting]

(man) HEY, AMERICAN, YOU SICK ON MY FISH?

(Serena) IT'S NOT HIS FAULT.

GIVE HIM A BREAK.

A BREAK?A BREAK?

I BREAK HIS NECKIS WHAT I BREAK.

IF YOU'RE SICKON MY FISH ONE MORE TIME,

I KICK YOUR ASS, OKAY?

[sputtering]

I'M SORRY.

[spits]

WATER!

HE CAN'T SWIM!

[all shouting simultaneously]

EVERYBODY CAN SWIM!

GO AND HELP HIM.

DAD, WHERE ARE YOU?

(man) AMERICAN! AMERICAN!

(Serena) DAD!

THANK GOODNESSYOU'RE OKAY.

I KNOW.I KNOW.

I PROMISE, THIS SUMMER,I'LL LEARN TO SWIM.

EVEN IF IT KILLS ME.

OW.

$100 PLEASE.

EXCUSE ME?

$100?

WELL, YOU'RE SICKON MY FISH.

[boy speaking Greek]

[speaking Greek]

HURRY UP.THIS GUY'S CRAZY.

[speaking Greek]

[speaking Greek]

(boy) MY DAD DOESN'T SPEAK VERY GOOD ENGLISH.

HE SAYS DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE MONEY.

IS TRUE.NO PROBLEM.

IS NO PROBLEM.

HAVE A BEAUTIFUL HOLIDAY.

GOOD AFTERNOON.

WELCOME TO THEM.

MARVELOUS.

[speaking Greek]

[woman speaking Greek]

I AM KLYMENI.

PROFESSOR COULTER SAIDTO TAKE YOU HOME.

COME WITH ME.

[breaking wind]

IT WASN'T ME.

[breaking wind]

[laughing]FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, THAT'S--

THAT WAS ME.

COME IN.

THIS HOUSE HAS BEEN CLOSEDFOR YEARS.

[coughing]

IT'S PERFECT.

[coughs]

WELL, UM...

[laughs]

UH, THAT'S...

WHOO!

UM, IS THE--

ARE THE BEDROOMS

BACK THAT WAY?

IS THAT WHAT...

THAT IS DELICIOUS.

ANOTHER?

(both)NO.

WE GOT--

THANK YOU.

COME.

I WILL SHOW THE BEDROOM.

[horse whinnies]

[heavy thud]

[frothing noises]

[driving rock music]

*

(man)* WAIT,I NEED TO STOP *

* I NEED A MINUTE

* JUST A MINUTE'SALL I GOT FROM YOU *

* YOU TOOK A TOWNWITH YOUR LINE *

* YOU KNOW IT AIN'T RIGHT

* IF YOU DOWHAT YOU WANT TO DO *

* EVERYTHING TO SAYYOU'LL SEE IT THROUGH *

* IF YOU DOWHAT YOU WANT TO DO *

* HOW YOU GONNA STAY ALIVE?

(Serena)DAD, WHAT HAPPENEDTO PROFESSOR COULTER'S DAUGHTER?

(Thomas) I DON'T KNOW.

UM, THE FIRST HE MENTIONED HER

WAS WHEN I WAS WITH YOU.

HE NEVER SPOKE OF HER BEFORE.

WHAT'S THAT?

WHAT DOES THIS SAY?

IT'S ANCIENT GREEK.

"WHAT WE CATCHWE...THROW AWAY."

"WHAT WE DON'T CATCH"--

THANK YOU.

"WE KEEP."

AND WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

I HAVE NO IDEA.

DAD, MOM'S BRACELET.

I MUST'VE LOST ITALONG THE WAY.

IT'LL TURN UP, HONEY.

CHECK IN THERE.

[dog barking]

"SLEEP, SWEET SLEEP,

"WHERE IS SWEET SLEEP?

"ARE YOU SLEEPING?

"SWEET SLEEP, AWAY FROM HER.

LET HER EYELIDS NOT TOUCHAND ADHERE TO EACH OTHER."

[speaking Ancient Greek]

"FROM EVERY PLACEAND EVERY HOUSE

AND BRING HER THUS TO ME."

[muffled rock music]

*

YOUNG LADY.

IF YOU GO THAT WAY,YOU MUST BE VERY CAREFUL.

WHY?

IT IS THE COVE

WHERE PROFESSOR'S DAUGHTERDISAPPEARED.

A LONG TIME AGO,

SHE ASKED US TO TREAT THE PLACEWITH CARE AND RESPECT,

SO DON'T GO THERE.

IF YOU DO GO,

BE CAREFUL

WHAT YOU WISH FOR.

WAIT A MINUTE.

[indistinct speech]

BABA, WHEN'S MAMA COMING BACKFROM VACATION?

SOON, DIMITRI, SOON.

AGH!

YOU OKAY?

I'M GOOD.

BUT IT'S BEENFOUR YEARS.

LONG TIME, EH?

AGH!

[muffled pop music playing]

*

(woman)* I CAN'T LEARNFROM THE EXPERIENCE I'VE HAD *

* EVEN THOUGH FOR A WHILEI GOT, WELL, MAD *

* YOU'RE JUST AN ILLUSIONIN A NIGHTMARE *

BOO!

YOU ARE VERY NICE WOMAN.

UM, I'M NOT A WOMAN,

AND HOW OLD ARE YOUTO BE TALKING LIKE THAT?

I'M OLD ENOUGH.

[growling]

WHO ARE YOU HIDING FROM?

NO ONE.

KLYMENI IS A BITOF A BUSYBODY.

OH, REALLY?

YES, SHE'STHE VILLAGE MATCHMAKER.

REALLY?

IS THAT AN OFFICIAL POSITIONHERE ON THE ISLAND?

WELL, NOT REALLY.

IT'S NOT ELECTEDOR ANYTHING.

MAYBE IT IS.

BY THE WOMEN,I MEAN.

YOU WON'T NEEDHER HELP.

EXCUSE ME?

DO YOU WANT TO SEETHE VIEW FROM THE LIGHTHOUSE?

NO.

WANT TO TAKE A BOAT OUT?

UH, NO.

COME OVERAND WATCH THE O.C.?

UH, NO.

I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

BYE.

BYE.

[clucking]

HELLO.

HELLO, MY DEAR.

UM, SO TELL ME, KLYMENI,

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY FATHER?

YOUR FATHER?

WELL, HE'S A VERY NICE MAN.

[hen squawking]

OH, HONEY,YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE...

MADE YOURSELF BREAKFAST.

YOU GOOD?

WHAT?

I JUST WISH--

FORGET IT.

(Thomas) HONEY, REMEMBER NOW,

YOU'RE IN GREECE.

IF YOU GOT A WISH,

PRAY TO THE GODS.

YOUR WISH WILL COME TRUE.

BUT REMEMBER,YOU WISH FOR AN ELEPHANT--

MAKE SURE YOU HAVEA PLACE TO PUT IT.

I KNOW, DAD.

SO WHEN WOULD IT ACTUALLY BETHE BEST TIME TO MEET A GOD?

WELL, THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION.

WELL, THE BEST TIME FOR A HUMANTO MEET A GOD OR GODDESS

WOULD BE AT NOON.

THAT'S WHEN THE SUN'SAT ITS HIGHEST

AND THERE ARE NO SHADOWS.

EVERYTHING IS SHIMMERING.

THAT'S WHEN THE DIVISIONS BETWEEN MAN AND BEAST,

THEY BREAK DOWN.

BUT I DON'T RECOMMEND IT.

WHY NOT?

WELL, I MEAN, YOU--

LET'S SEE; YOU COULD BE BLINDED

OR WORSE, TURNED INTO A TREE

OR A VERY DELICIOUSBALANCED BREAKFAST,

WHICH I DON'T HAVE.

EITHER WAY, AN EPIPHANY,

WHERE YOU ENCOUNTERA GODDESS OR A GOD,

IS PRETTY DANGEROUS BUSINESS.

WHAT IF YOU WERE TO BRING THEMAN OFFERING?

WELL, I DON'T THINK I RECALL

ENCOUNTERINGONE LITERARY REFERENCE

WHERE A GODDESSHAS EVER TURNED DOWN PRESENTS.

THEY DO LIKE PRESENTS.

GONNA FINISH THAT?

[bells tinkling]

(Serena) HELLO?

HELLO?

HELLO?

(woman) HELLO?

YOU'RE THE AMERICAN STAYING

AT OLD PROFESSOR COULTER'SHOUSE, YES?

HOW DID YOU KNOW?

IT'S A SMALL ISLAND.

WANT ME TO WRAP ITFOR A PRESENT?

NO, THAT'S OKAY.

[snorting]

UH...

LISTEN, KLYMENI,MY DAD,

HE REALLY NEEDS TO FINDA GIRLFRIEND OR SOMETHING.

COULD YOU MAYBE HELP HIMWITH SOME ROMANCE OR LOVE?

HE'S A BIT YOUNGFOR ME.

DR. BEDLEY.

BRADLEY.IT'S BRADLEY.

YOUR DAUGHTERIS VERY LOOSE.

[laughs]

I'M SORRY?

SHE RUNS AROUND A LOTBY HERSELF.

THAT WOULD BEANOTHER DEFINITION OF LOOSE.

(Klymeni) BY HERSELF.

YES, I UNDERSTAND.

WHAT HAPPENEDTO YOUR WIFE?

UM, WELL,SHE DIED.

OH, I SEE.

I'M VERY SORRY.

IT WAS A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO.

I WASN'T LIVING WITH HERAT THE TIME,

BUT SERENA WAS.

THEY WERE VERY CLOSE.

I INVITE YOU

TO THE VILLAGE PARTYON WEDNESDAY.

THAT'S VERY DELICATE.

THE STUFF DOESN'TREALLY ADHERE WELL.

IT'S ABOUT ALMOST AS OLDAS YOU ARE.

YOU WANT TO JUSTPOSSIBLY NOT--

PUT--DON'T TOUCH THAT!

I'M SORRY.

ALL RIGHT,MR. BRADLEY.I'M TERRIBLY SORRY.

COME TO THE PARTY,

AND BRING YOUR DAUGHTERWITH YOU.

OKAY.

I'D BE HAPPY TO.

WE BOTH WOULD LOVETO ATTEND.

THANK YOU.

(woman)* HEY, NOW, WHAT YOU GOTTHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? *

* HEY, NOW, CAN YOU SEEI LIKE YOUR STYLE? *

* YOU LOOK LIKE YOU ARE CAPABLEOF ANYTHING *

* SOMETHIN' NOW'CAUSE I FEEL LIKE *

* I WANT TO SEE

* OH, OH, OH

* YOU'RE THE MOONAND YOU'RE THE SUN *

* YOU'RE GIVING ME RELIGION

* NOW I SEE WHAT GOD HAS DONE

* WELL, YOU WALKLIKE YOU ARE SOMETHING *

* WITH YOUR HEAD HIGHIN THE AIR *

[waves crashing]

(Thomas) CATCH, WE THROW AWAY...

WHAT WE DON'T CATCH, WE KEEP.

[pendant splashes]

[warbling tone]

[folksy ballad music playing]

*

[crashing]

HMM.

DAD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

UM, THERE WASJUST A LITTLE...

AND WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?

IT'S COULTER'S.

I FOUND ITIN THE CLOSET AND--

WHY ARE YOU WEARING THAT?

THERE'S A PARTY.

KLYMENI SAID THAT--SHE INVITED US

AND THOUGHTIT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA

IF I TOOK YOU OUT.

I DIDN'T DISAGREE.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO IF--

NO, THAT'S GREAT.

TELL ME, DAD,IN ANCIENT GREEK,

HOW DO YOU SAY,"MAKEOVER"?

[bell tolling]

[cheers and applause]

YOU LOOK GREAT, DAD.

I FEEL LIKEA JACKED UP MONKEY.

YOU DON'T NEED THESE,OKAY?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

[laughing]

[shrieks]

[cheers and applause]

[muffled dance music playing]

*

[cheers]

DAD, ARE YOU OKAY?

OTHER THAN BEING DEAFAND BLIND, I'M FINE.

HELLO, BABY.

I'M DIMITRI.

I KNOW.

I WAS SPEAKINGTO YOUR FATHER.

WELL, HELLO.

MAY I DANCEWITH YOUR DAUGHTER?

HEY, YOU CAN ASK ME,YOU KNOW.

OF COURSE YOU CAN.

WELL, THANKS A LOT, DAD.

LET'S GET IT JIGGY.

[mouthing words]

TULA, ULA,MY NIECES.

WELL, HELLO.

[speaking Greek]

IT'S LOVELY HERE.

[muttering]

[giggles]

WHERE'S YOUR DAD?

HE'S IN CHARGEOF FIREWORKS TONIGHT.

[fireworks whistling]

[fireworks booming]

AMERICAN.

THANK YOU FOR COMINGTO MY WEDDING.

OH!

[fire crackling]

[screaming]

PUT IT OUT!

PUT IT OUT!

[all screaming]

WHOA!

DAD!

COME ON, SWEETIE.

[sobbing]

(Thomas) YOU DON'T SEE THAT EVERY DAY.

THAT PARTY WAS HOT.

YEAH, IT WAS SMOKIN'.

SHE WAS ON FIRE.

NICE.

IT WAS A DISCO INFERNO.

WHAT?

OH, THAT WAS A SONGBEFORE YOUR TIME.

[ethereal vocal music]

*

(Serena) YOU NEED TO EXPERIENCE LOVE.

(Thomas) I MEAN, THE ANCIENT GREEKS

THOUGHT THAT LOVE WAS A SICKNESS

AND THAT IF YOU CAUGHT IT,IT WAS DANGEROUS,

AND AT BEST,IT WOULD MAKE YOU GO NUTS.

(Serena) NUTS? DAD, THE WAY YOU WERE DANCING TONIGHT,

THAT IS NUTS.

I MEAN, I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU HAD IT IN YOU.

DAD, COULD WE DO IT AGAIN?

GOOD NIGHT, DAD.

SLEEP TIGHT, PRINCESS.

NIGHTY NIGHT.

DON'T LET THE BEDBUGS BITE.

SAY HELLO TO THE SAND--

DAD, SHUT UP.

I'M TRYINGTO SLEEP, OKAY?

SO HOW'S IT ALL GOING?

I'VE GOT A PATTERN EMERGING.

SEQUENCES?

YEAH, WELL, I DON'TEXACTLY KNOW WHAT IT IS.

I THINK IT HASSOMETHING TO DO

WITH THE GRAMMATIC STRUCTURE,THOUGH.

IT REQUIRES SOME KIND

OF IRRATIONAL EMOTIONAL INTERPRETATION.

I'M JUST--I JUST--

I DON'T KNOW.

IT'S RIGHT THERE,BUT IT'S, LIKE, VEILED.

TRUTH BE TOLD, I THINKI'M A LITTLE OVER MY HEAD.

SO I'M GOINGTO CONNECTICUT.

I REALLY WISHTHAT YOU'D NEVER GOT HOLD

OF THOSE DOCUMENTS, DAD.

THEY'RE RUINING US.

HONEY, THEY'RE NOTRUINING US, OKAY?

I'M RUINING US.

THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.

OKAY.

WHEN I SAIDI WAS OVER MY HEAD,

WHAT I MEANTWAS THAT...

HERE I AM TRYINGTO DECODE LOVE SPELLS,

AND I'M PROBABLY THE LAST GUYIN THE WORLD WHO SHOULD

BECAUSE I REALIZED I DON'T THINKI'VE EVER REALLY BEEN IN LOVE.

WHAT ABOUT MOM?

WELL, YOU KNOW, I'VE BEENGIVING THAT A LOT OF THOUGHT.

AND WHILEYOUR MOTHER WAS

A WONDERFUL WOMANAND A FANTASTIC MOTHER,

I THINK WHAT I FELTFOR HER

WAS A DEEP ADMIRATION

AND FEAR.

I WAS--I WAS AFRAID OF HER

A LITTLE BIT.

WELL, SHE COULD BE INTIMIDATING,

BUT YOU'VE NEVER BEENIN LOVE EVER?

WHAT, YOU?

[making deranged noises]

WHAT ARE YOU?

I MEAN, COME ON, WHAT ARE YOU,12 OR SOME?

AND A HALF, DAD.

AND A HALF?

UH, YOU'RE--

YOU'RE NOT IN LOVE, ARE YOU?

I MEAN, IT WASN'T

THAT LITTLE BOAT BOY.

HONEY?

[waves crashing]

(woman)* HEY, NOW, WHAT YOU GOTTHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? *

* HEY, NOW, CAN YOU SEEI LIKE YOUR STYLE? *

* YOU LOOK LIKE YOU ARE CAPABLEOF ANYTHING *

* SOMETHIN' NOW'CAUSE I FEEL LIKE *

* I WANT TO SEE

WHOA!

* YOU'RE THE MOONAND YOU'RE THE SUN *

* YOU'RE GIVING ME RELIGION

* NOW I SEE WHAT GOD HAS DONE

* WHEN YOU WALKLIKE YOU ARE SOMETHING *

* WITH YOUR HEAD HIGHIN THE AIR *

* I'M A PHANTOM LADYWATCHING YOU *

* I SWEAR

* HEY, NOW,IS THERE POSSIBILITY? *

[Serena inhales deeply]

(woman)* HEY, NOW, ARE YOUSTRONG ENOUGH FOR ME? *

* YOU LOOK LIKEYOU COULD KNOW THINGS *

* THAT I'D LIKE TO KNOW

* SO TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT, BABY,NICE AND SLOW *

* OH, OH, OH

* YOU'RE THE MOONAND YOU'RE THE SUN *

* YOU'RE GIVING ME RELIGION

* NOW I SEE WHAT GOD HAS DONE

* WHEN YOU WALKLIKE YOU ARE SOMETHING *

* WITH YOUR HEAD HIGHIN THE AIR *

* I'M A PHANTOM LADYWATCHING YOU *

* I SWEAR

* OH

THANK YOU.

* OH, OH, OH-OH

* YEAH, YEAH

* UH, HEY

* HEY

* YOU LOOK LIKE YOU ARE CAPABLEOF ANYTHING *

* SOMETHIN' NOW'CAUSE I FEEL LIKE *

* I WANT TO SEE

* WANT TO SEE

* OH, OH, OH

* YOU'RE THE MOONAND YOU'RE THE SUN *

* YOU'RE GIVING ME RELIGION

* NOW I SEE WHAT GOD HAS DONE

* WHEN YOU WALKLIKE YOU ARE SOMETHING *

* WITH YOUR HEAD HIGHIN THE AIR *

* I'M A PHANTOM LADYWATCHING YOU *

* I SWEAR

* I'M WATCHING YOU

* OH, OH, OH

* YOU'RE THE MOONAND YOU'RE THE SUN *

[bubbling]

[harp glissando]

[speaking Ancient Greek]

YOU SPEAK ANCIENT GREEK?

WHAT ELSE?

IT'S THE MOST NUANCED, REFINED,

AND MOST BEAUTIFUL LANGUAGEEVER WRITTEN.

NO ONE EVEN KNOWS IT ANYMORE.

(Serena)INSTANTLY, I THOUGHT

SHE AND MY DADWOULD GET ON GREAT.

ME MAKING A WISHCOMPELLED HER TO ME,

BUT SHE SAID I COULDN'T TELLANYONE ABOUT HER,

THAT IT WAS OUR SECRET.

(mermaid) NOT AT ALL RATIONAL.

TRUE GREEK HAS GONEOUT OF THE WINDOW

ALONG WITH ALL THE OTHERIMPORTANT PROCEDURES

LIKE WORSHIPPING GODDESSES.

TRAGEDY.

AND SOMEONEMUST'VE TAUGHT YOU SOMETHING,

OR YOU WOULDN'T HAVE MADE MEAN OFFERING.

THE PERSONWHO TAUGHT ME IS SOMEONE

WHO DEFINITELY KNOWSYOUR LANGUAGE.

MAY I HAVE THE DEAN'S OFFICE,PLEASE?

[telephone ringing]

RATCHER.

RATCHER, THIS IS BINDEY--

BRADLEY, THOMAS.

I'M A DOCTOR.

I WORK FOR YOU.

REALLY?

LISTEN, IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

[mumbling]

I'M NOT EQUIPPED, SIR.

THIS IS NOT GONNA WORK

UNLESS THERE'S--I GET AN EXTENSION.

NO.

(Thomas) WELL, YOU OFFER 'EM

TO ALL YOUR TOP STUDENTS.

WHY, BECAUSE THEY'REPAYING TUITION?

IS THAT IT?

AT LEAST THEY ARE PAYING.

ALL RIGHT,SO I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.

LET ME MAKE ITREALLY EASY FOR YOU, OKAY?

I'M-- I QUIT.

OKAY?I RESIGN.

RESIGN, HEY?

WELL, I'M SURE THE BOARD

WILL TAKEYOUR VERY SERIOUS OFFER

INTO CONSIDERATION.

OOH, BIG WORDS FOR A LITTLE MANIN A GREAT, BIG TOWN

WITH--WITH A COMB-OVER.

(man)* THE OCEAN NEVER DIES

* JUST THE WAVES AND TONIGHT

* THE OCEAN NEVER DIES

OOH!

[timpani rolling]

[orchestra climax]

[laughing wildly]

[waves crashing]

(Serena)NERIED!

NERIED!

NERIED!

NERIED!

NERIED!

[making kissing noises]

[giggles]

COME ON, NERIED.

[clears throat]

[gasps]

THERE YOU ARE.

WHATEVER IT ISYOU THINK I AM,

I'M DEFINITELY NOTSOME PET.

BESIDES I'M A VEGETARIAN.

LISTEN, I REALLY NEEDYOUR HELP.

YOU CAN'T JUST SHOW UP

AND ASK A GODDESSRIGHT OUT FOR HELP.

IT DEFIES THE LAWSOF GODS AND MEN.

AND BEASTS.

YES, AND BEASTS.

WHAT ARE YOU IMPLYING?

OH, NOTHING,NOTHING AT ALL.

[gasps]

[speaking Greek]

IT WAS VERY BRAVEWHAT YOU DID YESTERDAY

JUST TO JUMPIN THE WATER LIKE THAT.

THANK YOU.

I LIKE YOU.

YOU HAVE A KEEN MIND

AND FLASHING EYES.

DO YOU WANTTO GO SWIMMING?

HELLO.

SHE'S BEAUTIFUL, ISN'T SHE?

UH, LOVELY.

A NERIED.

SEA NYMPH.

SO HOW MUCH DO YOU KNOWABOUT THEM?

UM, WELL, THEY WEREAMAZING CREATURES,

RENOWNED FOR THEIR ELEGANCEAND SPIRIT.

EXQUISITE, AREN'T THEY?

YOU THINK SO?

YEAH, WELL, SURE.

SOME OF THEMHAD GOLDEN TAILS

EVEN WITH JEWELS ON THEM.

THEY WERE A MUCH-SOUGHT-AFTERPRIZE BY THE TITANS.

BUT NERIEDS WERE ALSOQUITE A HANDFUL.

THANKS, DAD.

[sighing]"LONGING FOR THEE SOU--FROM MY SOUL."

"LONGING OF THE SOUL."

(Mavros)WHOA, BABY,

I COULD SHOW YOU MY RIGGING.

OH, SO HOT, SO HOT,MRS. PAVADOVICH.

OH, YES!

OH, OOH, I LOVE THOSE.

BABA!

GORGONA!

GORGONA? WHERE?

PROFESSOR COULTER'S.

COULTER?

THE AMERICAN.

LEGEND HAS IT

THAT WHOEVER CATCHES A GORGONA BECOMES VERY RICH, HMM?

YES, BABA.

I WANT YOU TO GOTO COULTER'S HOUSE.

FIND OUT WHATTHE AMERICANS KNOW.

[dog barking]

HI, DIMITRI.

HELLO, BABY.

HELLO, BABY?

HONEY?

I'M A LITTLE CONCERNEDABOUT HOW MUCH TIME

YOU'RE SPENDING ALONE.

KETTLE?BLACK?

(Thomas) SERIOUSLY.

NOW, DIMITRI SAIDHE SAW YOU SWIMMING

IN A COVE THAT EVEN THE LOCALS DON'T GO IN

BECAUSE THE CURRENTSARE SO UNPREDICTABLE.

(Serena) DAD, DIMITRI

SHOULD MIND HIS OWN BUSINESS.

LOOK, I KNOWYOU'RE A GOOD SWIMMER,

BUT DO ME A FAVOR;STAY AWAY FROM THAT COVE,

AT LEAST WHILEYOU'RE SWIMMING ALONE.

DON'T SWIM ALONE,WHICH IS THE WHOLE POINT.

DAD, I WASN'T ALONE TODAY.

YOU WEREN'T?

NO, I WAS WITHA NEW FRIEND,

A GROWN-UP

LIKE YOU.

REALLY?

AND, DAD, I WANT YOUTO MEET HER.

I CAN'T BELIEVE--MY DAUGHTER AS WELL.

DAD, I KNOW IT SOUNDS CRAZY,

BUT IT'S DIFFERENT WITH HER.

IT WOULD BE MORE LIKEMEETING A COLLEAGUE.

SHE WOULDN'T BE BORED OF YOUR WORK

BECAUSE SHE'S A CLASSICIST TOO.

WHAT, THERE'S ANOTHER CLASSICISTON THE ISLAND?

DAD, SHE'S A FLUENT SPEAKEROF ANCIENT GREEK.

YOU CAN'T BE FLUENTIN A DEAD LANGUAGE.

WELL, SHE IS.

AND THE HISTORY--MYTHOLOGY-- SHE KNOWS IT

AS IF IT'S FROM EXPERIENCE.

IT'S ALL SO REAL TO HER, DAD.

WHERE'D SHE STUDY?

I DON'T KNOW.

YOU EITHER AREOR YOU AREN'T A CLASSICIST.

IT'S NOTHING YOU DO CASUALLYOR NATIVELY.

DAD, DON'T BE SUCH A SNOB.

JUST MEET HER.

NO.

NO, NOPE, NO.

WHY CAN'T YOU BE HEROICLIKE THE GUYS YOU STUDY?

THEN JUST GET OUT.

YOU CAN'T KICK ME OUTWHEN I'M WALKING OUT.

FINE.THEN ALL RIGHT.

SEE YOU LATER.

SEE YOU IN THE OTHER ROOM.

I DON'T KNOW WHYI EVER TRY AND HELP YOU.

YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHINGTO HELP YOURSELF.

SEIZE THE DAY, DAD.

CARPE DIEM?

DON'T USE LATIN ON ME.

GET OUT!

[woman singing]

EXCUSE ME, MISS,YOU HAVEN'T SEEN A LITTLE--

GROUPER!

[screaming]

[birds tweeting]

DAD.

DAD!

COME ON!WAKE UP!

[laughing]SERENA.

YOU OKAY?

NO.

I MUST BE LOSINGMY MIND.

WHAT EXACTLY DID YOU SEE?

A, WELL, A M--

NOTHING, NOTHING AT ALL.

A BIRD, A FISH, A PERSON,WHAT, DAD?

(Thomas) INTERESTING,

PERHAPS A COMBINATION THEREOF.

I'M--IT WAS A VISION,A BEAUTIFUL VISION.

IT'S JUST FROM WORK,

FROM OVERWORK.

(Serena) YOU MEAN LIKE...

(Thomas) LIKE AN ANCIENT...

GODDESS WITH HAIR AND EYESAND LUNGS OUTSIDE OF HER BODY.

REALLY?COME ON, DAD.

WE'RE IN GREECE,AND IT'S NOON.

[laughs]

DON'T PLAY ME AT MY OWN LOGIC.

COME ON, DAD, IT WAS PROBABLYJUST THE SUN OR SOMETHING, OKAY?

THE SUN.

IT WAS THE SUN.

OF COURSEIT'S THE SUN.

I'M GETTING--YOU HAVE TO--

THANK YOU.THANK YOU.

IT WAS THE SUN.

AND GUESS WHAT, DAD;IT'S THE PERFECT TIME

FOR ME TO TEACH YOUHOW TO SWIM.

(Thomas) SWIM?

RELAX, ALL RIGHT,AND BREATHE.

YOU CAN'T STOP BREATHING

JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE IN THE SEA,DAD, ALL RIGHT?

IT'S YOUR BREATH,

AND THAT'S WHAT MAKES YOU FLOAT,OKAY?

OKAY.

THAT'S WHAT MAKES YOU FLOAT.

I GOT BOOGIES.

JUST LEAN BACK, DAD,ALL RIGHT?

ALL RIGHT, DO YOU REMEMBERTHAT SONG YOU SUNG TO ME

WHEN I WAS A BABY?

I DON'T KNOW.WHICH ONE?

* THE TIDE IS HIGHBUT I'M HOLDING ON *

[together]* I'M GONNA BE YOUR NUMBER ONE

* NUMBER ONE

THAT'S IT.

* EVERY GIRL WANTS YOUTO BE HER MAN *

* BUT I'LL WAIT, MY DEAR,TILL IT'S MY TURN *

* I'M NOT THE KIND OF GIRLWHO GIVES UP JUST LIKE THAT *

WHO IS HE?

WHO IS THAT HORRIBLE MAN?

THE AUDACITY OF HIM.

THAT HORRIBLE MAN WOULD HAPPENTO BE MY FATHER, OKAY?

FATHER?

THAT'S YOUR FATHER?

WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM?

WELL, HE HASA TERRIBLE SINGING VOICE.

[The Tide is High playing]

I'M SORRY,DID YOU SAY SOMETHING?

(Serena)NO, DAD,DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCESWILL I MEET HIM.

BUT HE KNOWS SO MUCHABOUT YOUR MYTHOLOGY.

MY WHAT?

YOUR STORY.

SO YOU'RE SAYING HE STUDIED ME?

YEAH, THAT'S EXACTLYWHAT I'M SAYING.

WELL, I HAVE NO NEEDFOR MORTAL MEN.

AND THEN I HAVE TO ADMIT,

I DO MISSBEING WORSHIPPED BY THEM.

HE WOULD WORSHIPTHE GROUND YOU WALK ON.

OKAY, SO LEGEND HAS IT

THAT MERMAIDSCAN ONLY GROW LEGS AT NIGHT.

I GUESS THEY'RE TRAPPEDBETWEEN SEA AND EARTH

IN THE SAME WAY THEY'RE CAUGHT

BETWEEN BEING A GODLY CREATUREAND BEING HUMAN.

I GUESS IT'S PRETTY SAD, HUH?

YIKES!

(Neried) HOW DOES THAT FEEL?

YOU, BEACH!

SHE SAID YOU WEREAN INTELLIGENT MORTAL.

WELL, YOU CERTAINLY DON'T LIVE UP TO YOUR DESCRIPTION.

(Serena) DAD?

DO YOU NEED SOME HELP?

NO.

[snoring]

[door creaking]

[knock on door]

YOUR FATHER--

YOUR FATHER SAIDI COULD COME OVER...

FOR DINNER AND PLAY.

WHAT?

YES, I'M INVITED.

HE THINKSYOU NEED FRIENDS.

OH, NO.

AM I TOO EARLY?

YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSEDTO BE HERE.

YOU DO NOT LIKEDIMITRI?

NO, I LIKE DIMITRI.

BRING YOUR BOX, COME IN,BUT DON'T WAKE HIM, OKAY?

[heavy panting]

[electric whirring]

[crunching]

[stifled screaming]

NERIED, PRICELESS JEWELS.

PRICELESS JEWELS.

[grunts]

AGH!

[stifled screaming]

MAMA.

WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE?

(Klymeni)SHEEP'S HEAD CACA.

TRY IT.

I'LL TRY A LITTLE BITOF THE--

I THINK IT'S SAUCE.

EW.

"SHEEP'S HEAD" WHAT WAS IT?

CACA.CACA.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO TRY SOME?

OH, YEAH, I'D LOVE TO--

OH, SORRY.

I'LL GET YOUANOTHER ONE.

SO, DAD, WHAT MORTALSHAVE BECOME IMMORTAL?

OTHER THAN THE ONES WHO HAVESURVIVED THE SHEEP'S HEAD CACA,

LET ME SEE.

TITHONOS.

WHEN DAWN ASKED FOR HIMTO BECOME IMMORTAL,

SHE FORGOT TO ASK FOR HIMTO BECOME AGELESS.

AS A RESULT,HE BECAME OLDER AND OLDER

AND SMALLER AND SMALLER

UNTIL HE COULDN'T BARELY SPEAK.

HE COULD BASICALLY ONLY CHIRP.

HE MORE OR LESSTURNED INTO A CRICKET.

AND THEN THERE IS DIONYSUS

AND ARIADNE.

HE TURNED HERINTO A CONSTELLATION

WHEN SHE DIED.

[snoring]

I GUESS THAT'SKIND OF IMMORTALITY.

IN RARE INSTANCES,

THERE WAS INO,

WHO TURNED INTO A SEA NYMPH

IN ORDER TO SAVE ODYSSEUS FROM DROWNING.

THAT WAS IN THE ODYSSEY.

IN THE RAREST OF INSTANCES

WHEN IMMORTALS TRYTO BECOME MORTAL,

THERE'S ALWAYS A POISON

OR A TONIC OR SOME KIND OF ELIXIR INVOLVED.

IN THOSE INSTANCES,

THEY'RE USUALLYPRETTY DANGEROUS.

WHY?

IF THEIR INTENTIONS AREN'T PURE,

THEY COULD DIE.

[shouting]

[screaming]

BABA.

GOOD EVENING.

(Thomas) GOOD EVENING.

I AM HERE FOR THE BOY.

AH.

DIMITRI, WE MUST GO FISHING.

GOOD NIGHT.

BYE.

AH, LAMB'S HEAD CACA.

MAY I?OH, PLEASE.

I WAS BROUGHT UP ON THISAS A BOY.

(Serena) OH, GROSS.

[mumbling]IT'S TREMENDOUSLY GOOD.

DIMITRI, LET'S GO.

[groaning]

ARE YOU OKAY,BABA?

SHUT UP.

WHAT DID YOU FIND OUT?

(Dimitri) THEY ARE VERY NICE PEOPLE.

NICE PEOPLE?

YES.

COME ON.

YOU MAKE ME SICK.

(man)* THE OCEAN AND THE TIDES

* THEY HAVE BROUGHT YOUTO MY SIDE *

* THE OCEAN NEVER LIES

* JUST THE WAVES AND TONIGHT

* THE OCEAN AND THE TIDES

* THEY HAVE BROUGHT YOUTO MY SIDE *

* THE OCEAN NEVER LIES

WELCOME TO MY HOME.

(Serena) WHOA.

(Neried) WHAT'S WRONG?

YOU DON'T LIKE IT?

OH, NO, NO, I LOVE IT.

IT'S AMAZING.

WELL, IT DOES HAVEITS CHARMS,

BUT IT CAN GET QUITE LONELY.

NO, I WOULDN'T DO THATIF I WERE YOU.

I'LL HAVE A SODA LATEROR SOMETHING.

MY DAD NEEDS HELP FINISHING HIS BOOK.

HE NEEDS, LIKE, A TRANSLATOR.

YOU MUST HELP HIM FINISH IT.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE TRYINGTO FIND HIM A LOVER.

WASN'T THAT YOUR WISH?

NOT ANYMORE.

RIGHT NOW, IT'S HIS WORKTHAT MATTERS.

OTHERWISE, HE AND IARE GONNA LOSE EACH OTHER.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

MY GRANDPARENTSON MY MOTHER'S SIDE,

THEY WANT ME TO GO LIVE WITH THEM IN CONNECTICUT.

WHAT ARE THEY LIKE?

THEY'RE A-HOLES.

WHAT'S AN A-HOLE?

IT MEANS THEY'RE NOT VERY NICE.

WELL, IF ALL HE NEEDSIS HELP WITH HIS WORK,

BECAUSE ANYTHING ELSEWOULD BE A DISASTER.

JUST A TRANSLATOR.

YOU DO REALIZE THAT, RIGHT?

HE AND I

ARE NOT COMPATIBLE.

IN FACT, I'M PRETTY SUREWE DON'T EVEN LIKE EACH OTHER.

(Serena) THANK YOU. THIS IS GOING TO BE GREAT.

HE'S GOING TO LOVE YOU.

YOU SAID--

PLATONICALLY, OF COURSE.

[laughing]

[sniffing]

I HAVEN'T SEEN THIS BOOKFOR AGES.

OW.

SORRY.

OH.

ARE YOU OKAY?

IT'S JUST SOMEONE I HAVEN'T SEEN

FOR A VERY LONG TIME.

[knock on door]

SERENA, WE'VE GOT TO TALK--

YOU.

DAD, THIS IS--

FRANKIE.

FRANKIE?YOU'RE FRANKIE.

FRANKIE? FRANKIE, MEET MY DAD, THOMAS.

THOMAS, FRANKIE.FRANKIE, THOMAS.

I'M SURE WE'VE MET.

(Serena) UH, DAD, CAN I TALK TO YOU OUTSIDE FOR A SEC?

NOW, I'M CERTAIN I METYOUR FRIEND BEFORE,

IF I'M NOT MISTAKEN.COME HERE, LISTEN.

THAT'S HER.

SHE'S THE ONEFROM THE COVE.

I THOUGHTI WAS HAVING VISIONS,

BUT SHE WAS CLEARLY ENACTING

SOME NEW AGE GODDESS RITUAL,

AND NO WONDER SHE WASEMBARRASSED TO BE INTERRUPTED.

I THOUGHT I WAS NUTS.

DAD, CALM DOWN, OKAY?

SHE'S GONNA HELP YOUWITH YOUR WORK.

HOW IS SOME NEOFEMINISTPROTOGODDESS

LOONEY TUNE GONNA HELP MEWITH MY WORK?

THOSE PEOPLE, THEY DON'T GO INFOR TRUE SCHOLARSHIP, OKAY?

THEY'RE JUST TOO BUSYBASHING THE PATRIARCHY

AND CONTENTING THEMSELVES WITH LAME TRANSLATIONS OF SAPPHO.

DAD, SHH, SHH.

FIND YOUR INNER GODDESS?

I SHOULD'VE WROTE THATAND MADE A FORTUNE.

DAD, WILL YOU SHUT UPAND BE POLITE?

SHUT UP AND BE POLITE?

SHE'S OUR GUEST, OKAY?

AND YOU'RE TAKING USOUT TO DINNER.

YES, FIRST WE FEAST.

THEN YOU WORSHIP ME.

[groaning]

[playing breezy accordion music]

*

[speaking Greek]

SO, FRANKIE,YOU SPEAK ANCIENT GREEK.

THAT'S--

I FIND THAT ANCIENT GREEK

HAS ONE OF THE MOST FLEXIBLEVERBAL STRUCTURES--OR SYSTEMS

THAT IS-- HAS--

UM--HEY.

IT'S BOTH ACTIVE,PASSIVE, AND--

AND A MIDDLE VOICE.

AND IT'S--

CAN ACTUALLY IMPLY MOTIVE...

[coins tinkling]

PRETTY IMPRESSIVELY, WOULDN'T YOU AGREE?

YEAH, THE OLD VERBS.

YEAH, I LOVE VERBS LIKE"EAT," "TALK," "BE POLITE."

[speaking Ancient Greek]

WHAT DID SHE JUST SAY?

SHE--SHE JUST CITED STESICHORUS.

YOU CITED STE--

SHE CITED STESICHORUS IN DEFENSEOF HELEN OF TROY.

I CAN'T BELIEVE

YOU JUST CITED STESICHORUS.

MR. MAVROS,

I DIDN'T KNOWYOU WORKED HERE.

I'M MOONING.

THAT'S MOONLIGHTING.

WHERE'S THE TAIL?

SHOW ME THE TAIL.

HEY, SHOW ME THE TAIL!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

THAT'S ABOUT ENOUGH.

[screaming]

NOT AGAIN!

[screaming]

[sobbing]

(Thomas) WHY ANYONE RECOMMENDED THAT RESTAURANT,

I HAVE NO IDEA.

I'M SORRY HOW IT TOOK--

I'M SORRY THAT WASSUCH A STRANGE--

OOPS.

OH, OH, I'M TERRIBLY SORRY.

THE--YOU--YOUR GRASP--

OF THE--OF THE LANGUAGE

WAS REALLY IMPRESSIVE,I HAVE TO SAY.

I WAS COMPLETELY--

WHERE DID YOU STUDY?

MY FATHER IS A PROFESSOR,AND MY MOTHER IS A MERMAID.

NO, MARINE.

A MARINE, YES.

MY MOTHER IS A MARINE.

MARINE.

THAT'S A CURIOUS COMBINATION,

BUT IT SEEMED TO WORK.

[laughs]

I MEAN, YOU REALLY KNOW...

A LOT.

IF YOU WANT TO STOP BYANY TIME,

YOU KNOW WHERE WE'RE AT,

AND I WOULD LOVE TO--TO SHOW YOU MY STUFF.

[stammering]

GO OVER

SOME THINGS WITH YOU,IF THAT'S COOL.

MAYBE WE CAN HAVE HERFOR TEA

OR MAYBE KLYMENI CAN PUT--

NO, THAT'S PROBABLY NOTA GOOD IDE--

I GUESS HER MOMWAS A MARINE, HUH?

MAN, SHE REALLY SLIPS OFFJUST LIKE A NINJA OR SOMETHING.

HI, I--

UM...

HERE.

YOU LOOK LOVELY.

OH, I'VE HARDLY MET--I'M SORRY.

SO WHAT IS THIS ANCIENT TEXT

YOUR DAUGHTERKEEPS TELLING ME ABOUT?

I CAN'T IMAGINE THATWOULD INTEREST YOU VERY MUCH.

OKAY.

GOOD NIGHT.

NO, I TRANSLATEA KIND OF POETRY.

RIGHT NOW ANYWAY,IT'S KIND OF PIECED TOGETHER.

I ADORE POETS.

THEY'RE SUCH GREAT LOVERS--

OF WORDS.

THIS ISLANDHAS HAD GLORIOUS POETS.

YEAH, WELL, I DON'T--I DON'T ACTUALLY WRITE POETRY.

I KIND OF WRITE ABOUT IT,

WHICH IS A KINDOF POETRY, REALLY.

IT'S--

MIGHT I SEE IT?

YEAH, SURE, IT'S--

FABULOUS.

IT IS ACTUALLYVERY INTERESTING.

IT'S AN ANCIENT GREEKLOVE SPELL.

[speaks Greek]

AND THERE'S ONLYTHIS ONE SECTION

THAT I'M HAVINGA LITTLE BIT OF TROUBLE WITH.

THIS WAS THE SECTION

THAT I WAS HAVINGA LITTLE TROUBLE WITH.

[speaking Ancient Greek]

[speaking Ancient Greek]

[speaking Ancient Greek]

WHEN SHE STANDS,WE SHALL NOT ALLOW HER TO STAND.

WHEN SHE SITS, WE SHALL NOT ALLOW HER TO SIT.

[together]WHEN SHE SLEEPS,WE SHALL NOT ALLOW HER--

WE SHALL NOT ALLOW HERTO SLEEP.

WE SHALL LET HERSEEK AFTER ME.

[distant sounding]DAD?

[snap echoing]DAD.

[clap echoing]

DAD, I HAD A THOUGHT,RIGHT?

I REALLY DON'T THINKTHAT YOU SHOULD BORE HER

WITH ALL THIS SPELL STUFF.

I'M NOT BORING HER.

I DON'T THINKI AM BORING HER.

I MEAN, HONEY,DOES SHE LOOK BORED TO YOU?

YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO ME.

SHE HAS TO GO HOME.

I WANT TO TAKE HER HOME.

MAYBE YOUCOULD SWIM ME HOME.

OH, NO, NO.

I'M SWIMMING ALREADY.

(Serena) YOU'RE GOING HOME.

TOO BAD.YOU'RE GOING.

GOD.

(Serena) YOU'RE GOING HOME.

BACK TO YOUR CAVE, OKAY?

BUT I DON'T WANT TO GO.

TOO BAD.GO.

[whining]

GO!

[door opens]

OH.

THOMAS.

YOU LOOK SO GORGEOUS LIKE THAT,

EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE IN BEDWITH A HUGE HEAD.

THE PROBLEM IS, THOMAS,I CAN'T SLEEP

UNTIL I JUST LET YOU KNOWHOW MUCH I--

[screams]

[rooster crows]

OH!

ALREADY?

OH, I'LL BE BACK.

OH, OH!

* WHEN YOUR DAD STARTS TO FEELLIKE A GREEN SQUISHY EEL-- *

DAD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

DAD, DAD, DAD,STOP IT.

* HOLD ON JUST A SEC,THERE'S A DOG ON MY DESK. *

I'M TRYING TO FIND A WAYTO BREAK THE SPELL.

WHAT SPEEELL!?

[laughs crazily]

DAD, YOU KNOW,

WHEN YOU READ A SPELLTO SOMEONE,

IT MAKES THEM FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU.

WHERE DOES YOUR FRIEND LIVE?

NOT HER.

SHE'S NOT LIKEOTHER WOMEN, DAD.

SHE'S DIFFERENT.

I KNOW.

* WHEN YOUR THOUGHTSSTART TO STRAY *

[groans]

WHAT'S WRONG?

DO YOU KNOW,I DIDN'T SLEEP A WINK

ALL NIGHT LONG.

I DON'T KNOWWHAT'S HAPPENED TO ME.

I FEEL LIKE I'VE BEEN TRAPPED.

(Serena) NO, IT WAS A SPELL.

IT WAS A LOVE SPELL.

A LOVE SPELL?

WELL, NO WONDER I FEEL AWFUL.

[sighs]

IT'S A SICKNESS, YOU KNOW.

SO I'VE HEARD.

WHY WAS HE TRYING TO CATCH ME?

HE DIDN'T CAST IT ON PURPOSE.

HE JUST WANTED HELPTRANSLATING IT.

WELL, THAT'SOUT OF THE QUESTION,

ME HELPING HIM.

[warbling tone]

OH.

THOMAS.

UGH.

WHAT IF IT DOESN'T WEAR OFF?

WHAT ARE YOU SAYING NOW?

I THOUGHT YOU WANTED USTO BE TOGETHER.

YES, BUT NOT LIKE THAT.

HE'S TOO WEIRD.

YOU'RE TOO WEIRD.

I CAN'T BELIEVEI'M EVEN DISCUSSING

THIS POSSIBILITY WITH YOU.

I'M A GODDESS.

HE'S A MORTAL.

I'M NOT WORRIED.

WHAT IF IT DOESN'T WEAR OFF?

[sighs]

(Thomas) SERENA!

SERENA! SERENA!

DAD! DAD!

SERENA.

WHAT IS IT?

I'VE BEEN LOOKINGEVERYWHERE FOR HER.

WHO?

YOUR FRIEND FRANKIE,WHO ELSE?

THAT FOX.

SHE'S NOT A FOX, DAD.

THAT'S A METAPHOR--IT'S--

IT DOESN'T MATTER.

JUST TELL MEWHERE SHE IS.

DAD, FRANKIEISN'T EVEN HER REAL NAME.

SHE'S NOTWHO YOU THINK SHE IS.

ALL RIGHT, SO SHE'S GOTPROBLEMS WITH HONESTY.

OKAY, WE ALL GOT ISSUES.

IT'S JUST A--IT'S A FACT OF LIFE.

JUST DO ME A FAVORAND TELL ME WHERE SHE'S AT.

DAD, I REALLY DON'T KNOWHOW TO TELL YOU THIS.

I'M JUST GONNA SAY IT,OKAY?

OKAY.

SHE'S A MERMAID.

REALLY?

YOU'RE UNDER THE INFLUENCEOF ONE OF YOUR LOVE SPELLS.

YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH A FISH.

THAT'S AMAZING.

DO YOUR REMEMBER, DAD,AT THE BEACH

WHEN YOU BLACKED OUT?

YEAH.

YOU WEREN'T HALLUCINATING, DAD.THAT WAS HER.

SHE'S HALF FISH,HALF WOMAN.

SHE LIVES IN A CAVE.

SHE CAN ONLY GROW LEGSAT NIGHT.

DO ME A FAVORAND TELL ME WHERE SHE'S AT.

DAD, COME ON.

SERENA, FOR THE FIRST TIMEIN MY LIFE,

I FEEL LIKE I HAVEA CONNECTION TO SOMEONE.

OR SOMETHING.

AND IT--I FEEL IT'S MUTUAL.

I JUST--

I REALLY WANT TO SEE HER.

I DON'T CARE WHAT SHE IS.

YOU GOT TO TELL MEWHERE I CAN FIND HER, OKAY?

SO DO ME A FAVORAND JUST TELL ME WHERE SHE'S AT.

SHE'S AT THE COVE.

OF COURSE.

MAKES TOTAL SENSE.I'M GONNA BORROW YOUR BIKE.

NO, I'M NOT, BECAUSE IT'S PINK,AND THAT'S LAME.

I'M GONNA USE THESE,BUT THEY'RE TOO SMALL,

SO I WON'T USE THOSE,BUT I'M GONNA GIVE YOU THEM.

LOVE YOU.DAD, WAIT.

LOVE YOU!

(man)* THE OCEAN AND THE TIDES

* THEY HAVE BROUGHT YOU--

(Thomas)FRANKIE!

(man)* TO MY SIDE

FRANKIE, I LOVE YOU!

(man)* THE OCEAN NEVER LIES

* JUST THE WAVES AND TONIGHT

I'M COMING, HONEY.

(man)* OH, OH, OH, OH

I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.

HOLD ON, BABY.

[laughs]

(man)* WHEN THE WAVES HIT THE STONE

* WHERE THE SEA MEETS THE LAND

* OOH, OOH

* HEAR THE CALL OF MY HEART

* AND YOU WILL KNOW

* WHERE I AM

[Thomas coughing]

* THE OCEAN AND THE TIDES

* THEY HAVE BROUGHT YOU

I LOVE--

I LOVE YOU!

[coughing]

(man)* THE OCEAN NEVER LIES

* JUST THE WAVES AND TONIGHT

"DEAR PROFESSOR COULTER,IT HAS ALL BEEN MAGICAL.

"WE LOVE THE ISLAND,

"AND I FELT WELCOMEIN YOUR BEAUTIFUL HOME.

"SO I'M SAYING THANK YOUFOR MYSELF AND MY DAD.

"I FOUND THE RIDDLE:

"'WHAT WE CATCH,WE THROW AWAY,

"WHAT WE DON'T CATCH,WE KEEP.'

"I DON'T KNOWWHETHER I SHOULD HAVE,

"BUT HERE'S MY ANSWER:

"'THE NERIED.'

"THE NERIED IS THE ANSWER.

"YOUR DAUGHTER,I KNOW SHE'S ALL RIGHT.

"THE LAST THING IS, WELL,MY DAD WILL FINISH HIS BOOK,

"BUT DO YOU THINK YOU COULDFIX IT WITH THE DEPARTMENT

"ABOUT GIVING HIMA LITTLE BIT MORE TIME?

LOVE, SERENA."

(Ratcher)I CALL THIS MEETING TO A CLOSE.

WE WILL HAVE A VOTE.

I VOTE AGAINST.

HE HAS MY SUPPORT.

HMM.

[engine buzzing]

LITTLE GIRL, YOU WANT SWEETIE?

LITTLE GIRL,YOU WANT LITTLE BOX,

NICE, LITTLE BOX

FOR YOUR LITTLE GIRLY THING?

FRESH, BRAND-NEW,YOU WANT THAT?

GO AWAY.

YOU LIKE UGLY WING?

YOU LIKE ANGLER FOR SHIP--SHIP WINGS?

I HAVE THE SET.

LEAVE ME ALONE.

[growls]

TELL ME WHERETHE GORGONA IS.

YOU DON'T WANT METO GET UPSET WITH YOU, GIRL.

[mechanical thump]

UGH!

[screaming]

COME BACK, LITTLE GIRL,OR I KICK YOUR ASS!

[groaning]

[joints cracking]

(Mavros) GET OUT OF HERE.

I'M GOING TO FIND YOUR GORGONA. I'M GOING TO CUT OFF HER TAIL.

I'M GOING TO CHOP OUT ALL OF THE DIAMONDS.

AND THEN I'M GOING TO BE HAVINGFISH KEBAB

ALL NIGHT LONG, OKAY--OH.

OH! OH!

[sniffs]OH.

PLEASE.

AMERICANA.

[gas hissing]

OH, NO, NO, NO, NO!

[loud explosion]

NO!

[sobbing]

NO.

[muttering]

[laughs]

OH, THANK YOU SO--OW.

THANKS.

[laughs]

THANKS.

[laughing crazily]

SERENA!

"WHAT WE CATCH, WE THROW AWAY. YOU OKAY?

WHAT WE DON'T CATCH, WE KEEP,"THAT'S THE CLUE.

IT'S THE IDENTICAL STRUCTURE OF EVERY SPELL.

EVERY LITTLE BROWN PIECEOF PAPER

IN EVERY STUPID LITTLE BOTTLEIS EXACTLY THE SAME.

LISTEN:

"WHAT WE CATCH": VERB. "WE THROW AWAY": VERB.

"WHAT WE DON'T CATCH": VERB."WE KEEP": VERB.

THE SPELLS AREA CATALYST TO LOVE.

THEY--ONCE--

ONCE YOU ARE IN LOVE,THE REAL LOVE STARTS.

LOVE IS WORK.

IT'S NOT A SICKNESS

AS HISTORY LED US TO BELIEVETHE GREEKS BELIEVED.

IT'S RATIONAL. IT'S COMPLETELY RATIONAL.

IT'S--IT'S--I MEAN, IT'S--

I'M IN LOVE WITH A FISH,YOU KNOW?

I MEAN, THAT TAKES WORK,

BUT I'M WILLING TO DO ITBECAUSE THAT IS LOVE.

IT'S TRUE LOVE.

SERENA, I'M IN LOVE.

BUT I GOT TO WORK,WHICH IS A VERB AND--

I GOT TO GO, VERB.

(Thomas) HONEY, IF--

[laughing deviously]

AGH!

[laughing]

[laughing]

(Serena)SO THE SPELL,

DID IT WEAR OFF?

OH.

IT'S BEEN REPLACED.

BY WHAT?

BY SILLY THOUGHTSABOUT THE SMALLEST THINGS,

LIKE THE CURL OF HIS HAIR

JUST ABOVE HIS EYEBROW.

IF YOU WANT TO KNOW,

IT'S LIKE SWIMMINGON A WARM, CLOUDLESS DAY

WHERE THE SEA'S TOTALLY CALM,

BUT YOU'RE RUSHING THROUGH THE CURRENTS

THE MOMENT YOU CATCHA MIDOCEAN WAVE,

AND IT TAKES YOUALL THE WAY TO THE SHORE.

YOU'VE GOT A CRUSH.

BUT THAT'S THE PROBLEM.

IT'S NOT OKAY?

HOW COULD WEEVER REALLY BE TOGETHER?

HE'S A MORTAL.

I'M A GODDESS.

YOU'RE PATHETIC.

ONE MINUTE, YOU WANT USTO BE TOGETHER.

THE NEXT, WE'RE TOO WEIRD,WE'RE TOO THIS, WE'RE TOO THAT.

THE DECISION IS MADE.

IT CAN NEVER BE.

LOOK, NO ONE'S PERFECT, OKAY?

IT'S ABOUT YOU

AND HIM.

YOU NEED EACH OTHER.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?

STAY IN THIS CAVEYOUR WHOLE LIFE?

YES.

WE DO.

I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN.

[laughing]

THE ANSWER TO THE MILLION-DOLLARQUESTION IS "VERB."

I'M SORRY,YOU GOT THE ANSWER WRONG.

AND YOUR CONSOLATION PRIZEIS GONNA HAVE TO BE A VERB.

MAY THE TWO OF YOU ENJOYA LOVELY WEEKEND FOR TWO,

AND MAY THERE BEA LOT OF VERBING.

[sighs]

I CAN'T BELIEVEIT'S STILL WORKING.

LEGEND HAS IT THAT AN IMMORTALWHO DRINKS FROM THE WELL OF LIFE

CAN KILL HER IMMORTALITY

AND BECOME MORTALIF HER MOTIVES ARE PURE.

AND IF THEY'RE NOT?

I WILL EXPIRE, DISAPPEAR,

DIE.

I LOVE YOUR FATHER.

OH!

DON'T TELL ME.

VERB? RIGHT?

NOUN.

VERB.

BUT, BABA, THAT ISWHERE THE NERIEDA LIVES.

AND YOU HAVE A PROBLEMWITH THAT?

YES.

WHAT IS THE PROBLEM?

THEY ARE GOOD PEOPLE.

GOOD PEOPLE?AND THAT IS YOUR EXCUSE?

FOR WANTING TO MAKE US RICH?

WE'RE GOING TO BE RICH,DIMITRI, RICH, RICH!

SERENA?

[laughing]

[thunder cracking]

[gun fires]

[loud explosion]

(Neried) SERENA!

[shouting]

GRAB THE GOLD!

[laughing]

COME ON.

[screams]

COME ON.

SERENA!

SERENA!

SERENA!

SERENA!

SERENA!

GOD!

(Mavros) COME ON, COME ON.

COME ON.

NERIEDA!

I'M GONNA GET YOU!

[screaming]

YAH!

[screaming]

SAY GOOD-BYE, FISH.

AGH!

[screaming]

COME HERE, YOU LITTLE--

COME HERE!

GET IN THERE!

I'LL DEAL WITH YOU LATER.

HEY, GORGONA,

IT'S TIME FOR METO CUT OFF YOUR TAIL.

TELL THAT LITTLE GIRLTO STEP BACK

OR SHE'S GONNA GET IT TOO, OKAY?

[yelling]

LET ME OUT!DON'T!

(Serena) DAD!

DAD, HURRY!

[grunting]

[screaming]

(Thomas) AND SO, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

THERE IT IS.

A CATALOGUE OF CONCLUSIVE PROOF,

USING THE STRUCTUREOF RHYME

AND THE SPECIFIC SEQUENCINGOF VERB AND PRONOUN

AS THE KEY TO UNLOCKTHE SECRETS

OF THE ANCIENT SPELLSOF HYPOCLOTUS.

THIS CLEARLY DEPICTS THE ANCIENT GREEKS

AS A WHIMSICAL PEOPLE, PASSIONATE,

AND FILLEDWITH ROMANTIC THOUGHTS.

[speaking Ancient Greek]

SO THAT WASPRETTY IMPRESSIVE.

YES, YES, IT WAS.

THIS WAS NOT A CULTURE

THAT WAS BASED UPON FEARAND DEMAGOGUERY.

THEY WERE A FREE PEOPLE...

TELL ME, DONALD,

HAVE I EVER TOLD YOU

WHAT LOVELY EYESYOU HAVE?

UH, PASSIONATE AND EXPRESSIVEOF THEIR ROMANTIC LONGINGS...

[chuckling]

[making raspberry]

A CIVILIZATION THAT THRIVEDON THE VALUES OF HUMANITY

AND, WELL, LOVE...

IF YOU LIKETHAT SORT OF THING.

BRAVO.

BRAVO.

[applause]

DAD.

[brakes screech]

(Serena)SO EVERY SUMMER,WE GO BACK TO THE ISLAND.

THE PLACE HAS A LIFE OF ITS OWN.

IN HIS BOOK,MY DAD WASN'T QUITE SURE

HOW HE WOULD FOOTNOTE HER.

I MEAN, SHE WASHIS MUSE OF INSPIRATION.

LET'S JUST SAY THAT THERE AREN'TMANY CLASSICISTS OUT THERE

WHO HAVE DONE WHAT HE HAS DONE.

A VERY COOL DISCOVERY.

[upbeat acoustic guitar music]

(man)* OH, OH, OH, OH

* YEAH, YEAH, YEAH

* WHEN THE WAVES HIT THE STONEWHERE THE SEA MEETS THE LAND *

BEFORE THE SUMMER IS OVER,I WILL COMPLETE MY DATABASE.

[items clattering]

[laughs]

I WAS BROUGHT UP ON THISAS A BOY.

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[both laughing]

(man) DOWN.

STAY THERE.

STAY THERE.

POP UP.

[all shout]

[laughing]

(man)* BY THE STRING OF MY LOVE

* FEEL THE BEAT OF MY HEART

* AND YOU'LL KNOWTHERE'S NO DOUBT *

* WHEN I LOOK INTO YOUR EYES

* I CAN SEE WHAT IS TRUE, YEAH

* THE CALL OF THE SEA

* IS FOREVER IN YOU

* THE OCEAN AND THE TIDES

* THEY HAVE BROUGHT YOUTO MY SIDE *

* THE OCEAN NEVER LIES

* JUST THE WAVES AND TONIGHT

*

* OOH, OOH, OOH

* OH, OH, OH, OH, OH

* OH, OH, OH, OH

* YEAH, YEAH, YEAH

* THE OCEAN AND THE TIDES

* THEY HAVE BROUGHT YOUTO MY SIDE *

* THE OCEAN NEVER LIES

* JUST THE WAVES AND TONIGHT

* THE OCEAN AND THE TIDES