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It's Sam. Leave a message.
It's Sam. Leave a message.
And then we hit 'em with the,
"What about your oppressive cops, bitches?"
Except without the misogyny, right?
You know, I really want to get at you,
but I'm not sure how to do it in a respectful way,
random hot feminist.
Guys, where's Sam?
They're probably... on their way.
We should just head in.
It's now or never.
Gabe Mitchell didn't always love
being a white face in a mostly black part of an overwhelmingly white place.
What's up, hipster 8 Mile?
He knew jokes about his race were essentially harmless.
All right, when I was a community organizer...
Ooh, check you out, Disney Channel Obama.
What did you organize?
He checked his privilege
and supported people of color.
You know, I could come with.
No, it's cool. It's... it's members only.
He would never presume his voice
was more important than those around him...
I can't believe Chad got that travel grant over me.
It's bullshit! I killed that essay.
It wouldn't be America if mediocre white men
weren't being rewarded over deserving women of color.
- But... - I'm sorry, Jo.
...there was a tiny part of Gabe that wanted to scream.
You know what?
Sometimes people get what they have because they earned it.
Just because I happen to be a white male
does not automatically mean I'm some asshole!
Fucking white people.
Gabe didn't always love having to dodge the land mines
of identity politics.
However...
Gabe loved after hours at the radio station,
debating who made the best soul records
and, of course, the great movies of all time.
In fact, when these two film majors got together,
life was a Godard film in color,
and the only thing that Gabe loved more than Godard...
...was Sam.
OMG.
Is it the Samantha White?
I know. I know.
Should have been there.
I'm just dropping by to check your pulse, make sure you didn't die.
Is that ice cream?
Yeah, it's vanilla. Your favorite, which is ironic.
So what happened? We missed you at the rally.
Reggie... he was a mess,
and it just took longer than I thought.
- How did it go? - Oh, not great.
Apparently you need tickets to get in,
and then Al yelled angry monologues
from Training Day from the hallway until we got kicked out.
- I'm sorry. I should have been there. - No, it's okay.
The school's lacking in pep.
There's bound to be more rallies.
You know, it's just... it's been such a long night,
and I'm really rundown.
- So I'm gonna take a shower. - Okay.
I won't be long.
I'll be here.
Hey, Reggie, I know you're going through a lot right now,
but whatever you need, Sam and I are here for you.
Thanks, I actually,
think I got what I needed.
Good.
Super cool.
Well, you know, our offer still stands.
Thanks.
Okay. Okay, let's start.
Yes, let us start, everyone.
Start this meeting.
Thanks for being here.
So I know last night's rally
didn't go quite as planned,
but with Reggie back in the fold,
I think we can all agree that something needs to be done.
Things need to change.
No guns for those rent-a-cops,
and fire the asshole who went off on Reggie.
Both CORE and the student government
totally agree with you, Sam,
which is why we, along with the administration,
have put together a town hall.
Fuck the town hall, man.
- Yes. - Right idea.
A town hall on the 22nd to facilitate an open dialogue
on racial tensions at Winchester.
Do you feel the strings,
or do they trick you into thinking you're a real boy?
Pinocchio!
That was my favorite movie growing up.
What was the Kenyan version?
No, it was called
My Ancestors Were Smart Enough Not to Get Captured.
Sam, this is what someone who's trying to help looks like.
Help?
The administration wants a town hall just so they can pat themselves
on the back for having a town hall.
We all know nothing's gonna change.
- Wait. I have an... - Don't say it.
Sorry, have to.
We need to protest at the town hall.
Oh, I wanted to say it.
You were right last night.
Thank God for the left nipple.
Thank God for the right nipple.
Thank God for the abs.
Our pain is why we're out in these streets.
Exactly, and I'm not talking a regular protest.
We need to shut shit down.
Well, maybe the system doesn't work because you refuse to use it.
Yeah, why do you have to make everyone your enemy?
- It's kind of her thing. - Troy, you need me to be me.
What are you talking about?
The more radical she is, the more acceptable you become.
We are going to bring together every marginalized group on this campus
and demand real justice.
#FuckYes.
I get the desire to protest,
but the AASU supports the town hall.
- This is... this is... - The town hall?
You just...
You tell 'em, Sorbet.
I'm going back to Kenya,
- and I mean it this time. - I'm not going!
We're doing this.
Don't you wish to come in and have sexual intercourse?
Heavens, no.
I have a boyfriend.
I must go to him now.
Yes, you should.
On the other hand,
sexual intercourse does sound good.
Now that Troy and his sycophants are gone,
we can get to work.
All right, so we should probably split into groups.
Oh, yeah.
Rashid and...
- Ikumi. - Yes.
- Yeah. - Good idea, Reg.
We're gonna put you two on signs.
May my art be your weapon.
I'm in. I'm excited.
I cannot do bubble letters, though, just FYI.
Al, we're gonna need you
and the Black AF to take the lead on social media.
Also, we're gonna need water, bullhorns, snacks,
and if you get anything gluten-free, I will smother you in your sleep.
On it and completely turned on.
Reggie and I will handle prep and permits.
We've done it before.
And...
Oh! Joelle and Gabe,
you two can canvass all the affinity groups on campus,
'cause we need to show a united front.
Great.
- Great. - Looking forward to it.
Okay, so do Sam and Reggie hang out on, like, a daily basis?
Gabe, you do know I don't know where Sam is every hour of the day.
Like, I'm not worried about Reggie and Sam.
Like, maybe for a second there, but not really.
I mean, I scoff at being worried.
Scoff.
Actually, I don't even think I know how to scoff.
I'm pretty sure it's not saying the word "scoff," though, right?
Am I talking a lot? I feel like I'm talking a lot.
No, you don't seem worried or weird or like you're losing your mind.
I'm not this guy, though.
I'm sure everything's fine.
Wait. Why'd you look at me like that?
Like what? I just looked at you.
No, no, no, that was a "This white boy can't handle what I'm about to say" look.
It's true. That was the look.
Let's just say, if I were you and Sam was...
Never mind. Probably don't know what I'm talking about.
No, no, you can't stop there.
If Sam was what?
The Asian Student Alliance would love to come out.
We have a screening of Bowling for Columbine that night,
- but we can definitely move it. - Oh, thank you.
That's fantastic. We really appreciate it.
Wait. What does Bowling for Columbine have to do with being Asian?
What? Just 'cause we're Asian, we can't care about gun violence?
We can only get together and watch Rashomon
and have conversations about the need for sword control?
Annie needs to calm the fuck down.
Well, at least she's still backing us after you low-key hate-crimed her.
Did I?
- No. - Oh.
Hey, remember what you were saying earlier before
about if you were me...
Fine, I just meant,
if I felt like my relationship was slipping away...
Wait. Who said slipping away?
If I were you, I'd fight for my relationship.
Of course, that would require me to have a relationship.
Young Democrats agree that there's a problem,
but we already committed to participating in the town hall.
But I wish we hadn't.
I'd have my group follow you anywhere.
- Nope. - "Nope" to what?
Just all of it, Mehar.
Hey, what was wrong with that guy?
He seemed nice. He was hot.
Not my type.
Well, what is your type?
- Maybe I know somebody. - You don't.
Come on. Try me.
Stop following me, crazy man.
The LGBTQIA Union would love to, but we have a screening
of Bowling for Columbine that night.
Oh, we already talked to Annie, and they're canceling that, so...
Actually, we have our own screening.
But it's nice to hear that Annie came to her senses
and realized she shouldn't rip off
other people's programming just to get back at me.
If you come across that bitch again, tell her it'd be a real shame
if her boyfriend found out where she really goes
when she says she's at the library.
Okay, so you're busy that night.
- We're gonna go. - Motherfucker, what?
I got, like, eight million questions.
Girl, so... Gabe!
How Defamation would it be
if Mehar were Annie's boyfriend?
Well, as long as we're on hypotheticals,
who should be your boyfriend?
Stop fishing for my type, Gabe.
Come on, man. Bond with me.
Okay, fine.
- He needs to be smart... - Mm-hmm.
...nerdy, but kind of cool, a little bit of a badass.
- Okay. - Black.
Actually, black as hell and unapologetic about it.
Kind of serious, but okay when you make fun of him for it.
Able to carry a lot on his shoulders.
God, and those shoulders...
You got it bad for Reggie.
Joelle.
Why hasn't this happened yet?
Why do you think?
I have no idea.
Do you think Sam and Reggie are...
I don't know.
I never know anything with her.
As soon as I figure her out,
she pulls back, and then I-I don't know all over again.
You know what I do know?
She smiles with you.
Hey, that's a scoff...
But I'm serious.
I'm not talking a self-satisfied, "I was dope on the radio" smile
or a "pissing Troy off is fun" smile.
No, with you, it's...
It's a whole-body thing, head to toe.
With you, she smiles from her socks.
Joelle, I called the cops the other night.
What?
Ooh, I'm sorry, massa.
It's a song. Hell, it's in the title.
- What am I supposed to do? Hum? - Yes, nigga!
I thought I was protecting everybody.
I thought it would keep things from getting too out of control.
I thought I was doing the right thing.
I didn't... I couldn't have known what was gonna happen.
You absolutely cannot tell Sam.
But if I don't, I'm...
Never mention this again, because if she finds out...
She can't find out.
I mean, I like to mix it up.
More Malbec, Sam?
Or we can actually open the bottle you brought.
Never had wine product before.
And it's a screw top. Fun.
- Whatever's fine. Thanks. - It's so good.
You guys have to listen to it.
It's, like, all these great stories of old Hollywood.
You Must Remember This...it's incredible.
"Written,
narrated,
and produced by Karina Longworth.
That's me."
Yes!
I keep telling my friends to listen to it, but none of them do.
I just heard the one about Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn.
Oh, my God, they were the best.
Yeah, I mean, their movies... their movies are great,
but wasn't the affair kind of fucked up?
Why do you hate love, Gabe?
When he got sick, she took five years off to care for him.
It's so romantic.
I love that story. It's...
Sure, but Tracy was married the entire time.
What about his wife?
Okay, things got messy, but...
So the woman who's getting cheated on,
she's just supposed to make peace with it?
- Who wants some? - I'm not saying they were saints,
but they were soul mates.
Well, it's good to know you condone affairs.
Anyone want some of Sam's wine?
No! Thank you.
Gabe.
Gabe!
If something's wrong, just tell me something's wrong.
Something's wrong.
- Okay. - Look, I don't get it, Sam.
Sometimes you want to spend all your time with me,
and sometimes you pretend I don't exist.
- You're like a dude. - You're right.
And not even a nice dude. You're, like, one of those...
What?
I said, "You're right."
Well... well, now I don't know what to say.
I'm sorry.
Things are...
There's just a lot of...
- It's complicated. - Yeah.
You're complicated as fuck.
That's why I'm crazy about you.
You're a mess, but, like, in this put-together way.
I love that you use four-letter words
and four-syllable words in the same sentence.
I love that you're kind of a snob,
but you'll bring a bottle of wine that's only one step above Colt 45.
I love that you love Billy Wilder and Garry Marshall.
I love...
you.
Fuck.
I love you.
- Gabe... - And, look, I know you well enough
to know that, you know, you're gonna need time,
and I don't expect you to say anything now.
I love you, too.
So PDA is a yes?
- Mm-mm, it's a no... - Ah.
- ...with exceptions. - Ah!
Okay, my turn.
Mm-hmm.
You should know
I'll probably be saying "nigga" around you a lot
because I'll find it funny you can't say it back.
Okay, works for me.
Good, because it wasn't a question.
It was a warning.
Oh, I got a weird one.
Uh, I don't think we should do the whole, uh, Facebook...
- No. Yeah, I agree. - Okay.
I mean, you're in love.
You don't need "likes" anymore.
Yeah. Oh, and if things go south,
I do not want to see that fucking crying emoji.
Ah, yeah, fuck that guy.
- And his tears. - Right?
Like, we're in an exclusive relationship here.
It does not involve you, you sad bastard.
You know, as long as we're honest with each other,
who needs extra pressure?
And we're honest with each other.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Can our couple name be "Gam"?
Gam...
Like an old-timey lady leg?
Yeah.
- Yeah, I'm in. - Yeah?
Yeah, 'cause then people will be like, "Oh, check out them Gam."
Were you watching me sleep, nigga?
You can't say it back.
Holy shit.
Uh, hey, maybe... maybe we should get some breakfast.
Lionel is so goddamn good.
He got the 911 audio from the night of the party
proving that cop overreacted.
I'm... I'm really glad.
Uh, Sam, uh, I think, uh, we should...
- Hold on, I got to hear it. - No, Sam.
It's, like, already 8:00, you know? People are gonna start coming in any...
Campus security.
Hi, yeah. I'm at 2306 Bradford.
This party's a little out of control. Could you send some officers?
I'm really afraid someone's gonna get hurt.
That could be anybody.
Okay, look,
I was gonna tell you as soon as things calmed down.
There's no way I could have known what was gonna happen to Reggie.
It's not like I called the cops thinking they were gonna come and pull a gun.
I didn't even know they carried guns.
Wha...
Sam...
please say something.
It's Sam. Leave a message.
Reggie...
my comrade-in-arms,
it was Gabe who dropped the dime to the pigs.
I knew it, my Nubian sister.
I never trusted that white devil no way,
but now we don't have to feel guilty
about your brown skin
up against my browner skin.
It's Sam. Leave a message.
Sam, come on.
I've... I've left you, like, a stalker-y number of messages.
W-w-we need to talk.
Sam?
Come on, Sam, give me a chance.
I don't know, but we need to figure out something.
Sam's your best friend.
Sam, can we, uh...
- Look, I-I-I can explain... - Why would you call the cops?
- What the fuck did you think would happen? - You should have known better.
Do black people make you uncomfortable?
This isn't a good place for you.
That's not actually what the article was about.
- Guys, let's cut him some slack. - He called the cops.
He didn't ask them to bring guns and go nuts.
Why are you even here right now?
For her.
I-I just wanted to stop the party from getting out of control.
Well, nice job.
Reggie, I am sorry.
Sam...
Sam, please.
Fuck.
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