Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
--> -->
2
00:01:04,107 --> 00:01:06,457
Ho! Ho! Ho!
3
00:01:06,501 --> 00:01:09,199
Vrolijk kerstfeest!
4
00:01:25,911 --> 00:01:29,219
Nee, Santa Claus, kom niet naar de stad. Aw, nee.
5
00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:34,485
God, je bent killin me met deze Qallunaat stront.
6
00:01:34,529 --> 00:01:36,400
Kom op, zet hem dan uit, bro. Gelieve?
7
00:01:37,749 --> 00:01:39,708
God. Okay, kom op.
8
00:01:39,751 --> 00:01:41,144
Is het niet de bedoeling om aan zijn, zoals,
9
00:01:41,188 --> 00:01:43,277
politie radio of iets, agent?
10
00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:45,931
Het Ison politie radio.
11
00:01:45,975 --> 00:01:48,456
Captain heeft dispatch play Kerstmuziek
12
00:01:48,499 --> 00:01:50,719
op kerstavond. Dat is dom.
13
00:01:50,762 --> 00:01:52,634
Het is slechts รยฉรยฉn nacht per jaar.
14
00:01:52,677 --> 00:01:55,027
Ja, Kerstmis misschien, maar ze
15
00:01:55,071 --> 00:01:56,899
zijn duwen hun manier van leven
16
00:01:56,942 --> 00:01:59,249
op de mensen overal waar ze komen opdagen.
17
00:01:59,293 --> 00:02:03,340
You know, they want me to live my life off of three wise guys
18
00:02:03,384 --> 00:02:08,258
who followed a star to a barn to find some magic kid?
19
00:02:08,302 --> 00:02:09,912
And that's supposed to be more spiritual
20
00:02:09,955 --> 00:02:12,610
than-than our ancestors dancing on the northern lights
21
00:02:12,654 --> 00:02:15,700
while they watch down on us?
22
00:02:17,311 --> 00:02:21,010
Qallunaat Christmas makes me feel like such a loser.
23
00:02:21,053 --> 00:02:23,273
It's your lucky day.
24
00:02:23,317 --> 00:02:25,971
Every year, Captain Pendleton makes a big show
25
00:02:26,015 --> 00:02:27,712
at our Christmas party.
26
00:02:27,756 --> 00:02:30,889
He pardons an inmate in the holding cell.
27
00:02:30,933 --> 00:02:33,414
It's been a slow year, and he didn't have anyone to pardon,
28
00:02:33,457 --> 00:02:36,373
so... you're it. Congrats.
29
00:02:36,417 --> 00:02:38,027
Wait. What?!
30
00:02:38,070 --> 00:02:40,812
Okay, so, you-you're pulling in your own brother
31
00:02:40,856 --> 00:02:43,815
on a bullshit charge just to let me go?
32
00:02:43,859 --> 00:02:46,253
Now, come on, Yuka.
33
00:02:46,296 --> 00:02:48,516
I mean, I know you're a sellout,
34
00:02:48,559 --> 00:02:50,822
but bullshit you are not.
35
00:02:50,866 --> 00:02:52,737
How can you stand working
36
00:02:52,781 --> 00:02:55,740
for that lying sack of shit every day?
37
00:02:55,784 --> 00:02:58,221
It's tough, . Just the sound of his voice
38
00:02:58,265 --> 00:03:00,049
makes me want to punch something.
39
00:03:00,092 --> 00:03:03,270
Yeah, well, unless you're the lead sled dog.
40
00:03:03,313 --> 00:03:05,446
Guess the view's pretty much the same.
41
00:03:08,144 --> 00:03:10,190
I'm sorry for dragging you in, , but...
42
00:03:10,233 --> 00:03:11,756
Nah.
43
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:13,758
You won't be alone for a couple hours and...
44
00:03:15,151 --> 00:03:17,066
you'll get some turkey. What?
45
00:03:17,109 --> 00:03:19,329
Really?
46
00:03:20,765 --> 00:03:22,811
What about some pie? I want some pie.
47
00:03:22,854 --> 00:03:25,944
If you're lucky. If I'm...
48
00:03:28,295 --> 00:03:30,775
Fuck Santa Claus!
49
00:03:30,819 --> 00:03:33,996
Cheer up, . You'll be back on that barstool in an hour.
50
00:03:55,539 --> 00:03:57,498
Whoa.
51
00:03:57,541 --> 00:03:59,587
What the hell is that?
52
00:04:01,066 --> 00:04:03,025
I don't know.
53
00:04:03,068 --> 00:04:07,159
I mean, it's too much of a point to be the northern lights.
54
00:04:07,203 --> 00:04:09,597
Must be a low polar orbit satellite.
55
00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:11,381
No, no, no.
56
00:04:11,425 --> 00:04:13,427
It must be for you,
57
00:04:13,470 --> 00:04:17,300
'cause "Yuka" means "shining" and "brilliant" in Inuit, right?
58
00:04:17,344 --> 00:04:18,910
Although not
59
00:04:18,954 --> 00:04:22,000
so fucking brilliant when you fuckin' arrest me.
60
00:04:25,439 --> 00:04:28,006
All right! Gather around.
61
00:04:28,050 --> 00:04:29,660
Time for a little Secret Santa here!
62
00:04:31,140 --> 00:04:33,621
And it's no secret that I'll be your Santa again.
63
00:04:33,664 --> 00:04:35,492
Can I get a "ho ho ho"?
64
00:04:35,536 --> 00:04:37,059
Ho! Ho! Ho!
65
00:04:37,102 --> 00:04:39,844
You people'd have to go 1,500 miles to the North Pole
66
00:04:39,888 --> 00:04:41,846
to find a better Santa than me.
67
00:04:41,890 --> 00:04:43,935
Would you take that, dear?
68
00:04:43,979 --> 00:04:45,676
Doesn't the base know it's Christmas Eve?
69
00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:47,939
Hey, Santa, how about our own power grid for Christmas?
70
00:04:47,983 --> 00:04:49,463
Eat shit, Buzz.
71
00:04:49,506 --> 00:04:52,074
That does it. Mayor's on the naughty list!
72
00:04:52,117 --> 00:04:54,163
You heard him. Bad boy.
73
00:04:54,206 --> 00:04:56,184
- All right, all right. - Arch Houghton? Where's Arch?
74
00:04:56,208 --> 00:04:58,298
Okay.
75
00:04:58,341 --> 00:05:00,256
- There you go. - Merry Christmas.
76
00:05:02,258 --> 00:05:04,869
I got you, too. Get over here.
77
00:05:04,913 --> 00:05:06,828
Hey, look... She busted her brother!
78
00:05:09,091 --> 00:05:10,571
Your Christmas is saved, Lane!
79
00:05:12,007 --> 00:05:13,835
! ! !
80
00:05:13,878 --> 00:05:15,793
! ! ! All right.
81
00:05:15,837 --> 00:05:17,380
! ! ! All right, all right.
82
00:05:17,404 --> 00:05:18,946
Take it easy. Take it easy. ! ! ! !
83
00:05:18,970 --> 00:05:20,320
She's got work to do. Mayor?
84
00:05:20,363 --> 00:05:22,191
Yes, sir. Get over here.
85
00:05:22,234 --> 00:05:24,367
He knows what it is. Booze for him...
86
00:05:24,411 --> 00:05:27,936
This guy needs it in here.
87
00:05:27,979 --> 00:05:29,372
Look at that, honey.
88
00:05:29,416 --> 00:05:30,765
Great.
89
00:05:30,808 --> 00:05:32,375
Three cheers for the mayor!
90
00:05:32,419 --> 00:05:34,508
Hip, hip, hooray!
91
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:22,599
So, when do I get pardoned?
92
00:06:23,644 --> 00:06:25,776
I'll come back and get you
93
00:06:25,820 --> 00:06:28,605
after Captain's done hearing himself talk.
94
00:06:28,649 --> 00:06:30,955
So is that when I get pie... after that?
95
00:06:30,999 --> 00:06:32,827
'Cause I'm kind of hungry now.
96
00:06:32,870 --> 00:06:34,829
Yes. Don't worry.
97
00:06:34,872 --> 00:06:37,092
You'll get your pie.
98
00:06:37,135 --> 00:06:39,137
I promise.
99
00:06:39,181 --> 00:06:41,183
It won't be long.
100
00:07:17,088 --> 00:07:19,917
As I have been since I started this tradition
101
00:07:19,961 --> 00:07:23,268
some... 20 years ago?
102
00:07:26,750 --> 00:07:29,318
You know, every Christmas Eve...
103
00:07:29,361 --> 00:07:31,276
I like to look out that window there,
104
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:34,845
and I envision those... those Three Wise Men
105
00:07:34,889 --> 00:07:38,370
just looking up at that Star of Bethlehem.
106
00:07:38,414 --> 00:07:41,243
Same stars that my ancestors looked at
107
00:07:41,286 --> 00:07:43,811
when they first arrived to tame
108
00:07:43,854 --> 00:07:47,336
and make this the great 49th state of Alaska.
109
00:07:47,379 --> 00:07:50,121
Before that... what was there out here?
110
00:07:50,165 --> 00:07:51,949
Bunch of bears and Eskimos?
111
00:07:51,993 --> 00:07:54,038
That's about it.
112
00:07:54,082 --> 00:07:56,780
Tonight, above all nights,
113
00:07:56,824 --> 00:07:58,652
I thank Jesus...
114
00:07:58,695 --> 00:08:00,915
for my responsibilities He has bestowed upon me.
115
00:08:00,958 --> 00:08:02,482
First,
116
00:08:02,525 --> 00:08:04,832
to my duty to defend my country
117
00:08:04,875 --> 00:08:06,834
and work to support our neighbors
118
00:08:06,877 --> 00:08:09,053
at the Cheney Air Force Listening Station
119
00:08:09,097 --> 00:08:11,795
with their state-of-the-art LRD radar.
120
00:08:11,839 --> 00:08:14,537
We may just be a modest little community down here.
121
00:08:14,581 --> 00:08:18,062
Little outpost 151, but we support
122
00:08:18,106 --> 00:08:21,413
that high-tech station with our low-tech values.
123
00:08:21,457 --> 00:08:23,111
Yes. Am I right?
124
00:08:23,154 --> 00:08:24,982
- Yeah. - Yeah! Now, I know
125
00:08:25,026 --> 00:08:27,115
it's a hassle when they get a little greedy
126
00:08:27,158 --> 00:08:30,118
with our power grid, but they rely on us for supplies,
127
00:08:30,161 --> 00:08:31,859
and we offer police protection
128
00:08:31,902 --> 00:08:34,775
outside that base 365 days out of the year.
129
00:08:34,818 --> 00:08:36,211
Yeah! Yes!
130
00:08:37,821 --> 00:08:39,910
Tonight we got a duty
131
00:08:39,954 --> 00:08:43,566
to a... a greater superior officer.
132
00:08:43,610 --> 00:08:46,395
So, on this night, night before His birthday,
133
00:08:46,438 --> 00:08:49,441
He would have us remember that He wants us to be kind
134
00:08:49,485 --> 00:08:51,966
to strangers and visitors and stuff.
135
00:08:52,009 --> 00:08:54,577
"I was hungry, you gave me something to eat."
136
00:08:54,621 --> 00:08:57,449
"I was thirsty and you
137
00:08:57,493 --> 00:08:59,539
"gave me something to drink.
138
00:08:59,582 --> 00:09:02,803
I was a stranger, and you said, 'Come on inside here.'"
139
00:09:02,846 --> 00:09:04,892
And all the folks said, "When-when was this?"
140
00:09:04,935 --> 00:09:08,460
And you said, "When you were being nice to a stranger",
141
00:09:08,504 --> 00:09:10,680
you were being nice to me." Right?
142
00:09:10,724 --> 00:09:12,160
But the point is, you all know
143
00:09:12,203 --> 00:09:13,572
what I'm saying. Unless you've been living
144
00:09:13,596 --> 00:09:15,206
in a cave somewhere, you know
145
00:09:15,250 --> 00:09:17,557
every year, I am kind to a stranger
146
00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:19,559
as long as they ain't killed nobody,
147
00:09:19,602 --> 00:09:21,865
or tried to terrorist-attack that Air Force base.
148
00:09:21,909 --> 00:09:23,432
That would be a red line.
149
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,523
So tonight, once again,
150
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:30,047
I would like to pardon a stranger.
151
00:09:30,091 --> 00:09:32,789
Yuka, dear, could you please go fetch the stranger
152
00:09:32,833 --> 00:09:35,009
to be kind to?
153
00:09:35,052 --> 00:09:37,402
Of course I won't call him a stranger,
154
00:09:37,446 --> 00:09:39,491
seeing it was your brother you brought in here,
155
00:09:39,535 --> 00:09:41,189
and I've known since about ever.
156
00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:45,889
I shouldn't say that.
157
00:10:10,305 --> 00:10:13,090
?
158
00:10:13,134 --> 00:10:15,136
Hey, ?
159
00:10:17,399 --> 00:10:19,401
Goddamn grid.
160
00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:25,712
?
161
00:10:25,755 --> 00:10:27,670
o.
162
00:10:27,714 --> 00:10:30,542
Wake up.
163
00:10:46,558 --> 00:10:48,735
How'd you get in there?
164
00:10:57,439 --> 00:10:59,746
Who are you?
165
00:11:04,315 --> 00:11:06,361
I want to be pardoned.
166
00:11:08,711 --> 00:11:11,279
Just like you...
167
00:11:11,322 --> 00:11:13,803
will want to be pardoned.
168
00:11:14,848 --> 00:11:18,068
Meet Sergeant Yuka Mongoyak,
169
00:11:18,112 --> 00:11:19,679
a woman with a knack
170
00:11:19,722 --> 00:11:22,638
for detecting the most subtle of mistruths.
171
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:26,642
On this night, a night of the most powerful of myths,
172
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:29,471
that skill will be tested like never before.
173
00:11:29,514 --> 00:11:31,473
She's about to learn
174
00:11:31,516 --> 00:11:33,736
that the truth can take many different forms,
175
00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:35,912
depending on how you look at it.
176
00:11:35,956 --> 00:11:40,134
Because tonight, Sergeant Yuka's vantage point
177
00:11:40,177 --> 00:11:42,353
is at the very heart...
178
00:11:42,397 --> 00:11:45,139
of The Twilight Zone.
179
00:11:47,010 --> 00:11:48,751
You're traveling through another dimension,
180
00:11:48,795 --> 00:11:51,885
a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind.
181
00:11:51,928 --> 00:11:55,149
It is the middle ground between light and shadow,
182
00:11:55,192 --> 00:11:57,891
between science and superstition.
183
00:11:57,934 --> 00:12:00,284
And it lies between the pit of one's fears
184
00:12:00,328 --> 00:12:02,852
and the summit of one's knowledge.
185
00:12:02,896 --> 00:12:06,551
You are now traveling through a dimension of imagination.
186
00:12:06,595 --> 00:12:10,425
You've just crossed over into The Twilight Zone.
187
00:12:42,979 --> 00:12:45,808
Hey!
188
00:12:47,375 --> 00:12:50,421
Hey. What is taking so long?
189
00:12:50,465 --> 00:12:52,554
Someone's in here, Captain!
190
00:12:52,597 --> 00:12:55,339
Is screwing around again? I don't know
191
00:12:55,383 --> 00:12:57,559
who this is in cell three, or how he got here.
192
00:12:57,602 --> 00:12:59,517
What the hell are you talkin' about?
193
00:12:59,561 --> 00:13:01,128
I got all these people up here.
194
00:13:01,171 --> 00:13:03,043
They're waiting for me.
195
00:13:05,915 --> 00:13:08,700
He wants to be pardoned.
196
00:13:08,744 --> 00:13:10,659
What the fuck is this?
197
00:13:10,702 --> 00:13:14,402
An elf escape from Santa's workshop?
198
00:13:15,403 --> 00:13:17,144
Who...
199
00:13:17,187 --> 00:13:19,363
who-who is...
200
00:13:19,407 --> 00:13:20,930
who the hell is this,
201
00:13:20,974 --> 00:13:22,845
and wh-why... why is he wearing a suit?
202
00:13:22,889 --> 00:13:24,891
You're throwing a party.
203
00:13:24,934 --> 00:13:26,893
I'm dressed for the best party.
204
00:13:26,936 --> 00:13:28,503
One thing, though,
205
00:13:28,546 --> 00:13:30,113
and I hate to be the one, but...
206
00:13:30,157 --> 00:13:33,769
I actually came from the North Pole, and...
207
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:35,205
there's no workshop up there.
208
00:13:35,249 --> 00:13:37,381
Just a bunch of snow.
209
00:13:38,643 --> 00:13:40,820
Came from the North Pole?
210
00:13:40,863 --> 00:13:42,822
Yeah, I just... flew over it
211
00:13:42,865 --> 00:13:44,214
on my way over here.
212
00:13:44,258 --> 00:13:46,564
I've been everywhere.
213
00:13:46,608 --> 00:13:48,305
I'm actually a...
214
00:13:48,349 --> 00:13:50,307
I'm an extreme tourist.
215
00:13:50,351 --> 00:13:52,483
It's a thing. Have you heard about it?
216
00:13:54,137 --> 00:13:56,226
Mayor put you two up to this?
217
00:13:56,270 --> 00:13:57,924
Don't look at me.
218
00:13:57,967 --> 00:14:00,578
No, I actually have my own YouTube channel.
219
00:14:00,622 --> 00:14:03,103
It's called The Aggro Traveler's Bucket List.
220
00:14:03,146 --> 00:14:05,757
I legally had my name changed in California
221
00:14:05,801 --> 00:14:07,542
to A. Traveler.
222
00:14:08,804 --> 00:14:11,067
I visit the hardest places to get to.
223
00:14:11,111 --> 00:14:13,026
Most people, they end up on Thanksgiving
224
00:14:13,069 --> 00:14:15,376
at Montage Kapalua Bay, and they're like,
225
00:14:15,419 --> 00:14:18,205
"I should've gone to Iglaak, Alaska,
226
00:14:18,248 --> 00:14:20,729
"to be pardoned by Captain Lane
227
00:14:20,772 --> 00:14:22,905
on Christmas Eve. Duh."
228
00:14:24,776 --> 00:14:26,256
Are you shittin' me?
229
00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:27,867
I mean, they-they've heard about this?
230
00:14:27,910 --> 00:14:29,912
They've heard about me all the way up here?
231
00:14:29,956 --> 00:14:31,435
Are you kidding me?
232
00:14:31,479 --> 00:14:34,699
Any aggro traveler anywhere in the world knows
233
00:14:34,743 --> 00:14:37,528
about Captain Lane's Christmas Eve pardons.
234
00:14:38,965 --> 00:14:42,969
That to be here in Iglaak on Christmas Eve sits...
235
00:14:43,012 --> 00:14:46,494
high on any extreme tourist bucket list.
236
00:14:46,537 --> 00:14:48,713
Ride a train to the top of Jungfraujoch.
237
00:14:48,757 --> 00:14:50,585
Dive off Stari Most bridge.
238
00:14:50,628 --> 00:14:53,588
Kiss Dee Dee Ramone's tombstone at Hollywood Forever Cemetery.
239
00:14:53,631 --> 00:14:55,938
Get pardoned by Captain Lane
240
00:14:55,982 --> 00:14:58,332
on Christmas Eve in Iglaak,
241
00:14:58,375 --> 00:14:59,463
Alaska.
242
00:15:00,769 --> 00:15:02,510
I did not realize.
243
00:15:02,553 --> 00:15:04,077
I could see it, though.
244
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:06,035
I could. Would that mean, um...
245
00:15:06,079 --> 00:15:08,995
Captain, would you...
246
00:15:09,038 --> 00:15:11,301
would you pardon me tonight?
247
00:15:12,346 --> 00:15:14,261
Yeah...
248
00:15:14,304 --> 00:15:16,350
Well, let me think about that
249
00:15:16,393 --> 00:15:18,134
one...
250
00:15:20,354 --> 00:15:22,225
Have you committed any crime?
251
00:15:23,705 --> 00:15:26,186
Only waiting so long to come here.
252
00:15:26,229 --> 00:15:28,840
Y-You know, you said you got a YouTube.
253
00:15:28,884 --> 00:15:31,495
Maybe you can video me-me pardon you,
254
00:15:31,539 --> 00:15:34,672
and put it on the show, if you want.Yeah. Absolutely.
255
00:15:34,716 --> 00:15:36,196
You know what, I'll video it...
256
00:15:40,026 --> 00:15:42,028
Just a phone.
257
00:15:43,290 --> 00:15:44,595
I'll throw it up online,
258
00:15:44,639 --> 00:15:46,423
and that way all the extreme tourists
259
00:15:46,467 --> 00:15:48,730
can see for themselves just how truly charming
260
00:15:48,773 --> 00:15:51,124
you and this town are. Well, it's a good town.
261
00:15:51,167 --> 00:15:53,387
If you do this tonight, Captain,
262
00:15:53,430 --> 00:15:56,694
there'll be a lot more people just like me here next year.
263
00:15:56,738 --> 00:15:59,959
Yeah, you know that-that show Alaskan Trooperson Nat Geo,
264
00:16:00,002 --> 00:16:01,786
they just totally blew us off.
265
00:16:01,830 --> 00:16:04,398
I think it's just 'cause the Air Force base up the road
266
00:16:04,441 --> 00:16:06,052
doesn't like people poking around.
267
00:16:06,095 --> 00:16:07,792
What kind of phone is this?
268
00:16:07,836 --> 00:16:09,751
Jesus, look at that thing.
269
00:16:09,794 --> 00:16:11,405
Who makes that?
270
00:16:11,448 --> 00:16:13,320
It's a Russian design.
271
00:16:15,104 --> 00:16:17,411
It's Russian-made?
272
00:16:17,454 --> 00:16:19,413
The Russians don't makeanything.
273
00:16:19,456 --> 00:16:21,981
They steal everything. No, no,
274
00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:25,288
that actually already has an 8K video resolution.
275
00:16:25,332 --> 00:16:26,986
It's a beta, but...
276
00:16:27,029 --> 00:16:29,205
I'm sure if I said it was for Captain,
277
00:16:29,249 --> 00:16:31,251
I could get you one.
278
00:16:31,294 --> 00:16:33,253
Well, they're just across our front yard there,
279
00:16:33,296 --> 00:16:35,864
across the Chukchi Sea, the Russians. I know.
280
00:16:35,907 --> 00:16:37,909
They know all about you.
281
00:16:41,217 --> 00:16:44,003
All right, well, doesn't look like it's gonna be 's night,
282
00:16:44,046 --> 00:16:46,222
so give him his phone back, unlock him.
283
00:16:46,266 --> 00:16:48,137
I gotta pardon this guy.
284
00:16:48,181 --> 00:16:50,400
Captain.
285
00:16:50,444 --> 00:16:53,316
We should run a 10-29 active warrants search.
286
00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:56,145
Now? There's not gonna be anybody there tonight.
287
00:16:56,189 --> 00:16:58,452
It's all done online.
288
00:16:58,495 --> 00:17:01,194
Well, what is your concern, Sergeant?
289
00:17:01,237 --> 00:17:03,544
You said it. Russian-made things are crap.
290
00:17:03,587 --> 00:17:04,893
This is not
291
00:17:04,936 --> 00:17:06,155
a Russian phone.
292
00:17:06,199 --> 00:17:08,027
Why is he lying?
293
00:17:08,070 --> 00:17:10,116
This could be a 10-96.
294
00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:12,857
All right, you check it out,
295
00:17:12,901 --> 00:17:15,686
and I'll pardon him? But what if we get a hit?
296
00:17:15,730 --> 00:17:18,472
We'll arrest him again.
297
00:17:26,262 --> 00:17:27,872
You have I.D.?
298
00:17:39,884 --> 00:17:41,973
Ooh. Bright.
299
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:09,000
Right down here, we call this "The Corridor."
300
00:18:09,044 --> 00:18:11,090
I got to tell you, this is incredible.
301
00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:12,743
The crowd's gonna be excited to see you.
302
00:18:35,331 --> 00:18:36,898
Hey, lookee here,
303
00:18:36,941 --> 00:18:38,595
lookee here, the Good Lord has brought us
304
00:18:38,639 --> 00:18:41,381
an honest-to-goodness stranger
305
00:18:41,424 --> 00:18:43,209
to actually pardon here tonight.
306
00:18:43,252 --> 00:18:44,906
Now, Mongoyak
307
00:18:44,949 --> 00:18:46,516
is back there sleeping it off,
308
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:47,909
but I'm not too worried.
309
00:18:47,952 --> 00:18:49,867
We'll just pardon him next year. He'll be back.
310
00:18:49,911 --> 00:18:52,174
Meanwhile,
311
00:18:52,218 --> 00:18:54,176
this guy may be a stranger, everybody,
312
00:18:54,220 --> 00:18:55,873
but he's... he's a great guy.
313
00:18:55,917 --> 00:18:59,094
In fact, he's... he's a little bit of a celebrity.
314
00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:00,791
He's got a-a show
315
00:19:00,835 --> 00:19:01,923
on the YouTube.
316
00:19:01,966 --> 00:19:03,359
Yeah.
317
00:19:03,403 --> 00:19:06,493
Yeah. And-and it's about visiting cool places. Right?
318
00:19:06,536 --> 00:19:08,147
So I figure since he's here tonight,
319
00:19:08,190 --> 00:19:10,105
we must be... cool, too.
320
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:12,107
And I'm not talking about the weather.
321
00:19:14,762 --> 00:19:17,286
Let me, just do this here.
322
00:19:17,330 --> 00:19:19,462
All right.
323
00:19:19,506 --> 00:19:22,813
Hey, this is A. Traveler, and I am finally,
324
00:19:22,857 --> 00:19:24,424
finally here.
325
00:19:24,467 --> 00:19:25,947
I am so far up north,
326
00:19:25,990 --> 00:19:28,079
I'm a hundred miles from the Arctic Circle
327
00:19:28,123 --> 00:19:30,256
here in Iglaak, Alaska. Everyone say "hello!"
328
00:19:30,299 --> 00:19:32,997
Hello!
329
00:19:33,041 --> 00:19:34,912
Now, it is Christmas Eve.
330
00:19:34,956 --> 00:19:37,263
That means you know who this is.
331
00:19:37,306 --> 00:19:40,614
And I'm not talking about no Santa Claus.
332
00:19:40,657 --> 00:19:43,312
It's Captain Lane, everyone!
333
00:19:44,879 --> 00:19:46,315
No, no...
334
00:19:46,359 --> 00:19:49,231
Houghton. Sir, would-would it be okay if I...
335
00:19:49,275 --> 00:19:51,407
got a selfie with the troopers? What the hell!
336
00:19:51,451 --> 00:19:52,800
All right! Thank you.
337
00:19:52,843 --> 00:19:54,889
I want to know how he got in the cell.
338
00:19:54,932 --> 00:19:56,630
Did you put him in there? No.
339
00:19:56,673 --> 00:19:59,415
Everybody say "Iglaak" on three, okay? One, two,
340
00:19:59,459 --> 00:20:00,416
three.
341
00:20:00,460 --> 00:20:01,809
Iglaak!
342
00:20:01,852 --> 00:20:04,333
There was that set of keys missing from last winter,
343
00:20:04,377 --> 00:20:07,075
and we never changed the locks, because Lupino lost them
344
00:20:07,118 --> 00:20:09,599
in six feet of snow, and we figured no one'd find them.
345
00:20:09,643 --> 00:20:11,253
All right, all right,
346
00:20:11,297 --> 00:20:12,796
let's do this thing. Houghton, grab the chair.
347
00:20:12,820 --> 00:20:16,606
And, ladies and gentlemen, attention!
348
00:20:17,825 --> 00:20:20,088
Where's the chair? HOUGHTON Back there.
349
00:20:20,131 --> 00:20:23,265
All right, all right, come on back here.
350
00:20:23,309 --> 00:20:25,049
Merry Christmas, John.
351
00:20:25,093 --> 00:20:26,660
It's Sergeant Yuka Mongoyak.
352
00:20:26,703 --> 00:20:27,922
Yeah.
353
00:20:27,965 --> 00:20:30,229
Party's in full swing.
354
00:20:30,272 --> 00:20:32,274
The pardoning just started, which is why I called.
355
00:20:32,318 --> 00:20:34,015
Have you had any guests check in?
356
00:20:34,058 --> 00:20:37,148
May go by the name of A. Traveler, wearing a black suit,
357
00:20:37,192 --> 00:20:38,759
five-nine, not from here.
358
00:20:38,802 --> 00:20:41,675
City type. Thank you, just...
359
00:20:41,718 --> 00:20:43,851
I.D. says California.
360
00:20:48,116 --> 00:20:50,205
No?
361
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:51,554
Okay.
362
00:20:53,077 --> 00:20:55,341
All right, well, you have a nice Christmas.
363
00:20:55,384 --> 00:20:58,692
With the power vested in me...
364
00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:02,696
I hereby declare you pardoned
365
00:21:02,739 --> 00:21:05,786
from our jail cell in Iglaak...
366
00:21:05,829 --> 00:21:07,701
Alaska. And, of course, from all of us,
367
00:21:07,744 --> 00:21:09,529
Merry Christmas, sir.
368
00:21:11,487 --> 00:21:12,793
Thank you.
369
00:21:12,836 --> 00:21:15,012
Can I... can I say something?
370
00:21:15,056 --> 00:21:16,840
Um...
371
00:21:16,884 --> 00:21:19,669
on part of my journey up here,
372
00:21:19,713 --> 00:21:22,411
I rode the Trans-Siberian Railway
373
00:21:22,455 --> 00:21:24,892
nonstop for eight days,
374
00:21:24,935 --> 00:21:27,286
from Moscow to Vladivostok.
375
00:21:27,329 --> 00:21:29,462
And along that ride,
376
00:21:29,505 --> 00:21:31,594
so many people came up to me
377
00:21:31,638 --> 00:21:35,903
to ask me about that tough American sheriff in Iglaak
378
00:21:35,946 --> 00:21:37,774
that they all admired.
379
00:21:37,818 --> 00:21:39,733
Now, they even said
380
00:21:39,776 --> 00:21:42,039
that the North Koreans told the Russians
381
00:21:42,083 --> 00:21:45,129
that if they ever were gonna attack the United States,
382
00:21:45,173 --> 00:21:48,176
that they'd have to go around Captain
383
00:21:48,219 --> 00:21:51,266
and the entire town of Iglaak, Alaska!
384
00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:54,008
That's right. That's right.
385
00:21:54,051 --> 00:21:56,097
That's the truth!
386
00:21:56,140 --> 00:21:57,794
Crank up the music.
387
00:21:57,838 --> 00:21:59,840
Merry Christmas. This is Sergeant Yuka Mongoyak
388
00:21:59,883 --> 00:22:02,799
with the Alaska State Troopers Iglaak Post.
389
00:22:02,843 --> 00:22:04,410
Sorry to trouble you on Christmas Eve,
390
00:22:04,453 --> 00:22:06,499
but I'm inquiring to see if there are any personnel
391
00:22:06,542 --> 00:22:08,675
considered AWOL from your Air Force base?
392
00:22:08,718 --> 00:22:10,981
Shall we get this party going?
393
00:22:11,025 --> 00:22:12,766
Yeah!
394
00:22:14,594 --> 00:22:16,987
Or have any alerts been issued on suspicious individuals
395
00:22:17,031 --> 00:22:18,598
in the area?
396
00:22:19,860 --> 00:22:21,470
I appreciate your help.
397
00:22:21,514 --> 00:22:22,645
You, too.
398
00:22:22,689 --> 00:22:25,126
Merry Christmas.
399
00:22:45,451 --> 00:22:48,628
Captain just pardoned me...
400
00:22:48,671 --> 00:22:50,804
and you're looking to put me back in jail?
401
00:22:53,502 --> 00:22:56,592
You haven't believed a single word out of my mouth, have you?
402
00:22:56,636 --> 00:22:58,812
Captain does, but...
403
00:22:58,855 --> 00:23:00,466
not you.
404
00:23:02,293 --> 00:23:04,861
Now, that's the first honest thing you've said.
405
00:23:06,733 --> 00:23:09,300
Don't you want to open up the present that I brought for you?
406
00:23:12,478 --> 00:23:15,698
What you'd like most for Christmas?
407
00:23:17,483 --> 00:23:19,528
I don't believe in Christmas.
408
00:23:23,140 --> 00:23:25,142
You believe in what you believe.
409
00:23:25,186 --> 00:23:27,754
Isn't that what Christmas is all about?
410
00:23:49,863 --> 00:23:51,473
?
411
00:23:52,692 --> 00:23:54,041
Hey, ?
412
00:23:54,084 --> 00:23:55,956
What? What?
413
00:23:55,999 --> 00:23:57,392
I brought you
414
00:23:57,436 --> 00:23:59,525
some turkey and stuffing. Okay, thanks.
415
00:23:59,568 --> 00:24:02,484
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
416
00:24:02,528 --> 00:24:05,139
When the fuck am I getting out of here, Yuka?
417
00:24:05,182 --> 00:24:07,315
Are you fucking me over?
418
00:24:07,358 --> 00:24:09,622
And by the way, do you see any pie on here?
419
00:24:09,665 --> 00:24:11,754
Turkey now, pie later.
420
00:24:13,103 --> 00:24:14,453
Bullshit.
421
00:24:18,065 --> 00:24:19,588
Hey, ?
422
00:24:27,074 --> 00:24:30,730
What would you say is the thing I'd want most for Christmas?
423
00:24:30,773 --> 00:24:32,601
Fuck Christmas.
424
00:24:32,645 --> 00:24:34,473
Okay, yeah, but...
425
00:24:34,516 --> 00:24:36,300
what if?
426
00:24:36,344 --> 00:24:38,041
I don't know.
427
00:24:39,652 --> 00:24:42,524
Maybe to be one of them.
428
00:24:46,963 --> 00:24:50,880
I honestly don't know if you know who you are anymore.
429
00:24:50,924 --> 00:24:52,882
I know who I am.
430
00:24:52,926 --> 00:24:54,971
And I'm proud of who I am.
431
00:24:55,015 --> 00:24:56,625
At least I'm doing something.
432
00:24:56,669 --> 00:24:58,235
Yeah, theirway.
433
00:25:38,928 --> 00:25:40,713
Everybody!
434
00:26:17,401 --> 00:26:19,882
Where is your Christmas spirit, Yuka?
435
00:26:19,926 --> 00:26:22,058
You having a good time? You want a drink?
436
00:26:22,102 --> 00:26:23,930
No, I'm good, thank you.
437
00:26:26,628 --> 00:26:28,587
10-97 on "A. Traveler."
438
00:26:28,630 --> 00:26:31,677
Well, he's a good guy.
439
00:26:33,548 --> 00:26:35,637
I knew there wouldn't be any priors on him.
440
00:26:36,682 --> 00:26:39,162
Do you want to release when he sobers up?
441
00:26:39,206 --> 00:26:42,339
I mean, we brought him in intending to release him.
442
00:26:42,383 --> 00:26:44,951
I know he's drunk, but come on.
443
00:26:44,994 --> 00:26:48,389
Everyone is. It's Christmas.
444
00:26:48,432 --> 00:26:50,304
He wasn't disorderly in the first place
445
00:26:50,347 --> 00:26:52,872
or resisted arrest.
446
00:26:52,915 --> 00:26:56,440
Give me a chance for a twofer pardon.
447
00:26:56,484 --> 00:26:58,878
Never done one of those before.
448
00:26:58,921 --> 00:27:00,662
Yes, Captain.
449
00:27:00,706 --> 00:27:02,664
Very jolly of you.
450
00:27:03,709 --> 00:27:05,188
All right, go fetch him.
451
00:27:05,232 --> 00:27:06,668
Let's do it.
452
00:27:06,712 --> 00:27:07,669
Thank you.
453
00:27:07,713 --> 00:27:10,454
Dance break!
454
00:27:20,856 --> 00:27:23,250
No. There's still more song left.
455
00:27:23,293 --> 00:27:24,991
Fucking Air Force base.
456
00:27:25,034 --> 00:27:26,470
Come on, now.
457
00:27:26,514 --> 00:27:28,211
This town exists because of that base.
458
00:27:28,255 --> 00:27:29,691
At this time next year,
459
00:27:29,735 --> 00:27:33,303
we will not be sharing a power grid.
460
00:27:33,347 --> 00:27:34,870
Stop your campaigning.
461
00:27:34,914 --> 00:27:36,872
We already reelected you last month.
462
00:27:36,916 --> 00:27:38,134
God.
463
00:27:38,178 --> 00:27:39,832
I'm getting so sick of you, Colchack.
464
00:27:39,875 --> 00:27:43,270
The Air Force does not ask to tap into our power grid.
465
00:27:43,313 --> 00:27:45,707
If it wasn't for them, we wouldn't be here, so shut up.
466
00:27:45,751 --> 00:27:47,361
John, John, you've had too much to drink.
467
00:27:47,404 --> 00:27:50,320
Stop talking about the fucking grid and fix it!
468
00:27:50,364 --> 00:27:52,061
Do something! Hey!
469
00:27:52,105 --> 00:27:53,715
Hey, relax. It'll come back on.
470
00:27:53,759 --> 00:27:55,935
It always does, everybody. Geez.
471
00:28:00,983 --> 00:28:02,115
All right. There you go.
472
00:28:02,158 --> 00:28:03,638
Et voilรยรย .
473
00:28:03,682 --> 00:28:04,876
Now, listen, before you crank up
474
00:28:04,900 --> 00:28:06,293
the Christmas karaoke over there,
475
00:28:06,336 --> 00:28:07,947
it does occur to me that we've got a...
476
00:28:07,990 --> 00:28:12,168
another prisoner back there to offer a Christmas pardon to.
477
00:28:12,212 --> 00:28:14,475
What do y'all think?
478
00:28:14,518 --> 00:28:15,694
Yeah. Yeah, let's do it.
479
00:28:15,737 --> 00:28:17,826
It's a twofer!
480
00:28:17,870 --> 00:28:20,176
All right, all right. Arch, go grab
481
00:28:20,220 --> 00:28:21,569
Mongoyak, bring him out here.
482
00:28:21,612 --> 00:28:23,484
I wouldn't pardon Mongoyak.
483
00:28:28,402 --> 00:28:31,884
You're missing some tools from your snow machine shed.
484
00:28:33,929 --> 00:28:36,105
No, not that we're aware of.
485
00:28:36,149 --> 00:28:37,454
Now you know.
486
00:28:37,498 --> 00:28:39,892
About a thousand dollars' worth.
487
00:28:39,935 --> 00:28:42,721
They're in the trunk of Mongoyak's car.
488
00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:46,986
Back at the bar where Sergeant Mongoyak picked him up.
489
00:28:47,029 --> 00:28:49,466
's never stole a thing in his life.
490
00:28:49,510 --> 00:28:51,120
Fine.
491
00:28:51,164 --> 00:28:53,383
Don't believe me.
492
00:28:54,515 --> 00:28:56,125
I-Ida?
493
00:28:56,909 --> 00:28:58,780
You mind running
494
00:28:58,824 --> 00:29:01,740
down the road and checking on 's car?
495
00:29:01,783 --> 00:29:03,742
Sure thing, Captain.
496
00:29:06,266 --> 00:29:09,008
Can I finish the song now?
497
00:29:10,836 --> 00:29:12,881
Um...
498
00:29:12,925 --> 00:29:14,665
How-How'd you know about the tools?
499
00:29:14,709 --> 00:29:15,971
Captain,
500
00:29:16,015 --> 00:29:18,408
just 'cause he said it doesn't mean it's true.
501
00:29:18,452 --> 00:29:20,933
Like everything else he's said tonight.
502
00:29:20,976 --> 00:29:23,457
And if Trooper Lupino finds the tools,
503
00:29:23,500 --> 00:29:25,938
I'd guess you stole them and put them there.
504
00:29:25,981 --> 00:29:28,331
And if they're not there...
505
00:29:28,375 --> 00:29:31,334
wh-what would make you say such a thing?
506
00:29:34,163 --> 00:29:36,775
It's 'cause I know things...
507
00:29:36,818 --> 00:29:39,690
about this town.
508
00:29:39,734 --> 00:29:43,085
And I know things about you people.
509
00:29:46,959 --> 00:29:48,917
Rita,
510
00:29:48,961 --> 00:29:51,746
you're on a strict two-drink limit,
511
00:29:51,790 --> 00:29:53,792
but that's your fifth glass of eggnog.
512
00:29:53,835 --> 00:29:56,533
Not counting the two shots of Patrรยรยณn you had
513
00:29:56,577 --> 00:29:57,796
before you left the house.
514
00:29:57,839 --> 00:29:59,580
So what?
515
00:29:59,623 --> 00:30:01,408
It's Christmas.
516
00:30:01,451 --> 00:30:03,149
And Jacques,
517
00:30:03,192 --> 00:30:05,629
do you think your ex-wife will be expecting
518
00:30:05,673 --> 00:30:07,607
those delinquent child support payments in her stocking?
519
00:30:07,631 --> 00:30:09,000
What the hell are you talking about?
520
00:30:09,024 --> 00:30:11,244
That's not true. That's not even true.
521
00:30:11,287 --> 00:30:14,247
And, Mr. Colchack, your bid on the construction
522
00:30:14,290 --> 00:30:15,920
of the airfield runway out beyond the lagoon
523
00:30:15,944 --> 00:30:18,033
was the lowest of all three bidders.
524
00:30:19,078 --> 00:30:21,689
You piece of shit.
525
00:30:21,732 --> 00:30:24,083
I knew it. Mayor Matheson over here
526
00:30:24,126 --> 00:30:26,128
awarded the project to the Russian company
527
00:30:26,172 --> 00:30:28,652
across the Bering Strait. That has not been determined.
528
00:30:28,696 --> 00:30:30,437
Now, see, I warned you about this asshole!
529
00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:32,047
How could you reelect him?
530
00:30:32,091 --> 00:30:34,745
Like you didn't go down on all the Air Force brass
531
00:30:34,789 --> 00:30:37,226
to get that bid for the cargo loading apron at the base,
532
00:30:37,270 --> 00:30:39,533
Buzzy. Going down on?
533
00:30:39,576 --> 00:30:40,902
Now, that'ssomething you know about.
534
00:30:40,926 --> 00:30:42,710
Hang on to this, honey! You wish, bitch!
535
00:30:42,753 --> 00:30:44,233
Rita! Hey, hey!
536
00:30:45,452 --> 00:30:47,236
For crying out loud!
537
00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:49,064
Hey, don't you touch me!
538
00:30:58,117 --> 00:31:00,467
- - The party's over. - Let go of me! Thanks.
539
00:31:00,510 --> 00:31:02,401
The party's over, everybody. Come on. Break it up.
540
00:31:02,425 --> 00:31:04,688
Grab your coats and get your drunk heinies
541
00:31:04,732 --> 00:31:08,040
out of here. Everybody.
542
00:31:08,083 --> 00:31:09,868
Take it easy.
543
00:31:09,911 --> 00:31:11,173
Merry Christmas.
544
00:31:11,217 --> 00:31:13,219
Drive home safe. Let's go.
545
00:31:15,221 --> 00:31:16,613
Get him home safe.
546
00:31:16,657 --> 00:31:19,051
All right. Merry Christmas.
547
00:31:46,948 --> 00:31:49,516
How the hell did he get in that cell?
548
00:31:49,559 --> 00:31:51,474
And how'd you know all these things?
549
00:31:51,518 --> 00:31:53,085
A. Traveler.
550
00:31:53,128 --> 00:31:54,738
Is that even your real name?
551
00:31:54,782 --> 00:31:57,698
Hey, 15, this is Post.
552
00:31:57,741 --> 00:32:00,614
Y-You got a 10-71 on those tools yet?
553
00:32:00,657 --> 00:32:04,096
Post, this is 15. It's 10-23.
554
00:32:04,139 --> 00:32:05,575
There were no tools in 's car.
555
00:32:05,619 --> 00:32:08,491
Repeat, negative on stolen tools.
556
00:32:08,535 --> 00:32:10,885
Everyone's having a drink.
557
00:32:10,929 --> 00:32:13,235
See?
558
00:32:13,279 --> 00:32:15,411
He's lying. Wait a minute.
559
00:32:15,455 --> 00:32:18,588
You did know right where to go with Matheson and Colchack
560
00:32:18,632 --> 00:32:20,590
to set them off.
561
00:32:20,634 --> 00:32:22,636
How?
562
00:32:22,679 --> 00:32:25,291
Well, they've hated each other
563
00:32:25,334 --> 00:32:27,641
ever since Buzz tried to feel up Dottie Matheson
564
00:32:27,684 --> 00:32:29,686
ten years ago at this very party.
565
00:32:29,730 --> 00:32:31,253
That is an unsubstantiated rumor,
566
00:32:31,297 --> 00:32:33,342
and how did you know that?!
567
00:32:33,386 --> 00:32:35,344
How's he know that? What, are you...
568
00:32:35,388 --> 00:32:38,304
What are you, friend?
569
00:32:39,305 --> 00:32:41,829
You a Russian spy? Man in Black?
570
00:32:41,872 --> 00:32:43,265
If you're Santa Claus,
571
00:32:43,309 --> 00:32:45,093
you're a little late delivering your toys.
572
00:32:47,052 --> 00:32:48,879
I'm Special Agent Douglas Heyes
573
00:32:48,923 --> 00:32:51,056
from the Anchorage field office.
574
00:32:51,099 --> 00:32:52,405
Iglaak is a small town,
575
00:32:52,448 --> 00:32:54,146
but there exists widespread corruption
576
00:32:54,189 --> 00:32:57,018
that could affect the security of the United States of America.
577
00:32:57,062 --> 00:33:00,239
You have any Bureau identification?
578
00:33:00,282 --> 00:33:04,156
Undercover special agents don't have I.D., Sergeant.
579
00:33:04,199 --> 00:33:07,246
Who's under investigation?
580
00:33:12,512 --> 00:33:16,081
I'll tell you who's under investigation.
581
00:33:18,126 --> 00:33:20,128
You are.
582
00:33:25,133 --> 00:33:27,614
And you're going right back into that cell
583
00:33:27,657 --> 00:33:31,661
until we can confirm with the Bureau in Anchorage.
584
00:33:52,639 --> 00:33:54,597
Hey. Yo.
585
00:33:54,641 --> 00:33:56,382
What's the story with my pie?
586
00:33:56,425 --> 00:33:58,123
Yo, Captain, I'm supposed to be getting
587
00:33:58,166 --> 00:34:00,081
some pie.
588
00:34:00,125 --> 00:34:02,823
I know the reasons you don't trust me.
589
00:34:02,866 --> 00:34:05,478
But we'll work well together once Captain's removed
590
00:34:05,521 --> 00:34:07,480
and you replace him.
591
00:34:07,523 --> 00:34:09,351
When you're the lead sled dog.
592
00:34:09,395 --> 00:34:11,179
, you're pardoned.
593
00:34:11,223 --> 00:34:13,355
Hell no.
594
00:34:13,399 --> 00:34:15,749
It's 30 below, I-I'm too drunk to drive,
595
00:34:15,792 --> 00:34:18,491
and I'm not leaving till I get some motherfucking pie.
596
00:34:34,550 --> 00:34:37,727
You've reached the Federal Bureau of Investigation,
597
00:34:37,771 --> 00:34:39,251
Anchorage Field Office.
598
00:34:39,294 --> 00:34:40,556
If this is an emergency,
599
00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:42,863
please use our directory to contact
600
00:34:42,906 --> 00:34:44,256
a field agent directly.
601
00:34:46,171 --> 00:34:49,087
We're sorry, but there is no agent
602
00:34:49,130 --> 00:34:51,089
that matches the information provided.
603
00:34:51,132 --> 00:34:54,004
Our hours are Monday through Friday, 700 a.m...
604
00:34:54,048 --> 00:34:56,050
I'll go see.
605
00:34:59,053 --> 00:35:01,055
Yuka.
606
00:35:03,057 --> 00:35:05,755
I'll go with you.
607
00:35:22,424 --> 00:35:24,383
What the actual fuck?
608
00:35:24,426 --> 00:35:27,473
What the actual what?
609
00:35:27,516 --> 00:35:28,735
Did you see that?!
610
00:35:30,215 --> 00:35:33,043
Get those guns off me. Yuka?
611
00:35:33,087 --> 00:35:35,785
Yuka, did you not see that? I saw something.
612
00:35:35,829 --> 00:35:36,873
Right?
613
00:35:36,917 --> 00:35:39,441
Yeah, he looked like a fucking snail.
614
00:35:39,485 --> 00:35:42,357
He had antennae coming out his h-head.
615
00:35:43,967 --> 00:35:45,926
Yuka, you're awfully quiet.
616
00:35:45,969 --> 00:35:48,276
What do you believe? She saw it.
617
00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:50,060
She saw it. We all saw it.
618
00:35:50,104 --> 00:35:52,106
She may not be saying anything, but she saw it!
619
00:35:52,150 --> 00:35:54,630
No one saw anything because that's insane.
620
00:35:54,674 --> 00:35:57,242
It's probably shadows from your flashlights or something.
621
00:35:57,285 --> 00:35:59,679
Antennae?
622
00:35:59,722 --> 00:36:01,942
You two are tripping on cheese log.
623
00:36:04,988 --> 00:36:07,556
Take off the hat.
624
00:36:19,394 --> 00:36:23,442
Now, I've been nothing but nice to you.
625
00:36:23,485 --> 00:36:26,488
Nothing but nice.
626
00:36:26,532 --> 00:36:27,794
So, you need to consider
627
00:36:27,837 --> 00:36:30,405
if it's worth the irreversible remorse
628
00:36:30,449 --> 00:36:33,060
to further address me...
629
00:36:39,327 --> 00:36:42,461
with such rude intentions.
630
00:36:47,248 --> 00:36:50,773
Especially when I know things...
631
00:36:50,817 --> 00:36:53,776
about you, Captain.
632
00:36:53,820 --> 00:36:56,692
All you need to know is I got you locked up in my jail.
633
00:36:56,736 --> 00:36:58,303
And to be exact,
634
00:36:58,346 --> 00:37:00,696
this jail is officially considered
635
00:37:00,740 --> 00:37:02,829
Alaska State Trooper Post 151.
636
00:37:02,872 --> 00:37:06,441
What's the primary purpose of Post 151?
637
00:37:06,485 --> 00:37:08,182
To serve the public good.
638
00:37:08,226 --> 00:37:09,662
By the support and protection
639
00:37:09,705 --> 00:37:11,794
of an acknowledged temporary vulnerability
640
00:37:11,838 --> 00:37:15,145
outside of the Cheney Air Force Listening Installation.
641
00:37:15,189 --> 00:37:17,583
It's the point at which the Air Force facilities' power grid
642
00:37:17,626 --> 00:37:20,281
connects and is shared with the town of Iglaak's.
643
00:37:20,325 --> 00:37:21,891
Okay.
644
00:37:21,935 --> 00:37:25,286
That's enough. There's a camouflage shed somewhere nearby
645
00:37:25,330 --> 00:37:27,650
that houses the connection point between the Air Force base
646
00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:29,290
and the town's power grid.
647
00:37:29,334 --> 00:37:32,162
He's experiencing a mental breakdown of some kind.
648
00:37:33,425 --> 00:37:35,905
So, if a hostile force were to invade,
649
00:37:35,949 --> 00:37:37,907
they'd just have to destroy
650
00:37:37,951 --> 00:37:39,518
that one shed? That location
651
00:37:39,561 --> 00:37:41,433
is classified information.
652
00:37:41,476 --> 00:37:45,350
Classified is actually the most...
653
00:37:45,393 --> 00:37:48,701
lucrative type of information.
654
00:37:48,744 --> 00:37:51,747
Isn't it, Captain Lane?
655
00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:56,970
That's right, she doesn't know.
656
00:37:58,363 --> 00:38:00,800
Captain has sold the information
657
00:38:00,843 --> 00:38:03,455
to our neighbors across the Chukchi Sea.
658
00:38:03,498 --> 00:38:04,586
The Russians.
659
00:38:04,630 --> 00:38:06,042
Nothing you've said has been the truth.
660
00:38:06,066 --> 00:38:07,197
You want the truth?
661
00:38:07,241 --> 00:38:09,156
You can't handle the truth.
662
00:38:10,897 --> 00:38:12,918
I'm sure anyone can understand the captain's motivation.
663
00:38:12,942 --> 00:38:14,727
There is no motivation
664
00:38:14,770 --> 00:38:16,337
'cause there has been no corruption.
665
00:38:16,381 --> 00:38:17,643
20 years
666
00:38:17,686 --> 00:38:19,558
as the big cheese in Iglaak, Alaska.
667
00:38:19,601 --> 00:38:21,908
It's not a location, nor is
668
00:38:21,951 --> 00:38:24,345
Alaska State Trooper an occupation,
669
00:38:24,389 --> 00:38:26,913
where anyone can make any real money
670
00:38:26,956 --> 00:38:29,089
or actually make any real impact on the world.
671
00:38:29,132 --> 00:38:30,395
You shut your mouth.
672
00:38:30,438 --> 00:38:33,006
Especially someone like you, Lane,
673
00:38:33,049 --> 00:38:34,007
would have made a great impact.
674
00:38:34,050 --> 00:38:35,269
You shut your mouth.
675
00:38:35,313 --> 00:38:36,314
The best impact.
676
00:38:39,926 --> 00:38:42,581
I'm gonna put a hole in this insect.
677
00:38:42,624 --> 00:38:45,975
But you gave up on that idea.
678
00:38:46,019 --> 00:38:47,542
You gave up on yourself, you just...
679
00:38:47,586 --> 00:38:48,848
gave up.
680
00:38:48,891 --> 00:38:52,155
I never gave up on anything.
681
00:38:53,722 --> 00:38:55,811
I'm Agent Marius Constant from the National.
682
00:38:55,855 --> 00:38:57,378
Reconnaissance Office.
683
00:38:57,422 --> 00:38:59,902
Captain will save a lot of money and headache
684
00:38:59,946 --> 00:39:01,643
and maybe lives if he just confesses
685
00:39:01,687 --> 00:39:04,298
that he told the Russians about the location of the shed.
686
00:39:04,342 --> 00:39:06,039
He's lying!
687
00:39:06,082 --> 00:39:07,693
At this very minute,
688
00:39:07,736 --> 00:39:09,869
Russian Spetsnaz forces are on their way to sabotage
689
00:39:09,912 --> 00:39:12,175
what I know is the location
690
00:39:12,219 --> 00:39:13,176
of the shed.
691
00:39:13,220 --> 00:39:15,004
Thing is,
692
00:39:15,048 --> 00:39:17,050
my people are going to intercept them.
693
00:39:22,925 --> 00:39:24,623
I'm going there right now,
694
00:39:24,666 --> 00:39:27,277
to warn the Americans or the Russians.
695
00:39:30,672 --> 00:39:32,718
He stays here.
696
00:39:46,819 --> 00:39:48,429
I thought he'd never leave.
697
00:39:48,473 --> 00:39:50,692
Now we can talk.
698
00:39:50,736 --> 00:39:53,347
So, I'm just trying to prove to everybody here
699
00:39:53,391 --> 00:39:55,915
what you've known for all these years,
700
00:39:55,958 --> 00:39:58,526
that he doesn't care about this area,
701
00:39:58,570 --> 00:40:00,963
this land, or your people.
702
00:40:01,007 --> 00:40:02,400
That he's a liar.
703
00:40:09,450 --> 00:40:12,105
See, I told you I knew what you wanted for Christmas.
704
00:40:13,149 --> 00:40:16,152
So this is my gift to you.
705
00:40:16,196 --> 00:40:20,374
Soon, you're gonna be the one giving the orders around here.
706
00:40:54,974 --> 00:40:57,933
Don't be afraid of me, Yuka.
707
00:40:57,977 --> 00:40:59,195
I mean, you don't know this...
708
00:40:59,239 --> 00:41:01,023
And how would you know... but...
709
00:41:01,067 --> 00:41:03,243
you and I are a lot alike.
710
00:41:03,286 --> 00:41:04,984
We have a lot of bosses above us.
711
00:41:05,027 --> 00:41:08,248
There's always a bigger boss to be in awe of or afraid of.
712
00:41:08,291 --> 00:41:10,337
But you and I,
713
00:41:10,380 --> 00:41:12,426
we're worker ants
714
00:41:12,470 --> 00:41:14,602
who get the job done.
715
00:41:14,646 --> 00:41:16,038
Today I will.
716
00:41:16,082 --> 00:41:17,692
You won't.
717
00:41:17,736 --> 00:41:20,303
But you know what? I'll keep my promise, though.
718
00:41:20,347 --> 00:41:22,001
I'll put in a good word.
719
00:41:22,044 --> 00:41:23,263
You'll be running this place.
720
00:41:23,306 --> 00:41:24,743
But working for us.
721
00:41:24,786 --> 00:41:26,788
Captain, this is Post.
722
00:41:26,832 --> 00:41:28,224
10-19. Return to base.
723
00:41:28,268 --> 00:41:29,530
10-39. Urgent.
724
00:41:29,574 --> 00:41:30,879
10-39. Urgent.
725
00:41:35,754 --> 00:41:37,407
Pendleton, can you hear me?
726
00:41:38,713 --> 00:41:40,106
Our intelligence indicated
727
00:41:40,149 --> 00:41:41,934
that you would be vulnerable to attack,
728
00:41:41,977 --> 00:41:44,545
somewhere in this vicinity,
729
00:41:44,589 --> 00:41:46,025
on this day.
730
00:41:46,068 --> 00:41:48,941
So, in order to ensure the success of the invasion,
731
00:41:48,984 --> 00:41:51,552
Pendleton needed to lead us to the power source
732
00:41:51,596 --> 00:41:53,902
of the Air Force early discrimination system
733
00:41:53,946 --> 00:41:55,774
in order to remove it.
734
00:41:55,817 --> 00:41:57,384
And you let go.
735
00:41:57,427 --> 00:41:59,691
Is it because maybe you thought it'd get rid of him
736
00:41:59,734 --> 00:42:01,823
or give you his job or both?
737
00:42:01,867 --> 00:42:03,695
You'll never have to worry
738
00:42:03,738 --> 00:42:05,305
about Captain again.
739
00:42:05,348 --> 00:42:08,787
Or, Christmas, for that matter.
740
00:42:08,830 --> 00:42:11,877
What's with the gun, Yuka?
741
00:42:11,920 --> 00:42:14,923
I mean, why do you want to kill me?
742
00:42:14,967 --> 00:42:17,143
You knew what I was.
743
00:42:17,186 --> 00:42:19,145
I did nothing but lie to you.
744
00:42:19,188 --> 00:42:20,799
Only,
745
00:42:20,842 --> 00:42:23,976
once I said something that might benefit you,
746
00:42:24,019 --> 00:42:26,369
you chose to ignore it.
747
00:42:26,413 --> 00:42:28,763
See, that's not a lie.
748
00:42:28,807 --> 00:42:32,027
You willingly accepted the lie.
749
00:42:32,071 --> 00:42:34,464
That's worse.
750
00:42:34,508 --> 00:42:35,508
Now it's too late.
751
00:42:47,652 --> 00:42:49,349
No.
752
00:42:50,568 --> 00:42:52,004
It's not too late.
753
00:42:54,702 --> 00:42:56,704
Just arrived at the mesosphere.
754
00:43:00,447 --> 00:43:01,796
Captain, respond!
755
00:43:01,840 --> 00:43:03,755
Do not go to the shed!
756
00:43:07,149 --> 00:43:10,196
All units respond.
757
00:43:10,239 --> 00:43:13,895
Does anyone have a 20 on Captain?
758
00:43:13,939 --> 00:43:16,550
Captain, this is Post. 10-19.
759
00:43:16,594 --> 00:43:20,249
Repeat, 10-19. Do not go to the shed.
760
00:43:21,294 --> 00:43:22,861
Fuck!
761
00:43:31,391 --> 00:43:33,393
Hey, bro.
762
00:43:33,436 --> 00:43:35,395
You know, if you could,
763
00:43:35,438 --> 00:43:40,052
you know, like, use your magic and open my cell, too...
764
00:43:55,502 --> 00:43:57,025
Whoa.
765
00:43:57,069 --> 00:43:59,201
That's a cool trick, man.
766
00:43:59,245 --> 00:44:00,986
Thanks.
767
00:44:11,866 --> 00:44:14,390
Arch!
768
00:44:14,434 --> 00:44:16,741
Arch!
769
00:44:16,784 --> 00:44:19,265
Any 20 on Captain?
770
00:44:19,308 --> 00:44:21,484
Yeah. A while ago, I saw him going south on Nixon,
771
00:44:21,528 --> 00:44:22,790
but, just now,
772
00:44:22,834 --> 00:44:24,444
he tore off toward County Highway.
773
00:44:24,487 --> 00:44:27,055
No! Get off me! Break it up, ladies!
774
00:44:27,099 --> 00:44:30,363
Break it up! Get the fuck off me! Get off!
775
00:45:46,221 --> 00:45:48,876
Captain!
776
00:45:50,922 --> 00:45:52,662
Captain!
777
00:45:55,100 --> 00:45:56,797
Step away from the structure
778
00:45:56,841 --> 00:45:59,626
with your hands raised above your head.
779
00:46:01,106 --> 00:46:05,153
You brought a Remington shotgun to a Russian invasion?
780
00:46:07,025 --> 00:46:08,417
Put the gun down, Sergeant.
781
00:46:08,461 --> 00:46:11,290
He lied about that, too.
782
00:46:11,333 --> 00:46:13,118
Lane,
783
00:46:13,161 --> 00:46:16,121
you're under arrest.
784
00:46:25,652 --> 00:46:27,436
Really, Yuka?
785
00:46:27,480 --> 00:46:29,134
Out here?
786
00:46:32,572 --> 00:46:35,183
Now?
787
00:46:36,968 --> 00:46:38,926
You're here.
788
00:46:38,970 --> 00:46:42,234
So the Traveler wasn't lying about what you did.
789
00:46:42,277 --> 00:46:47,065
You came to meet your Russian contacts to tip them off.
790
00:46:59,164 --> 00:47:02,036
Well, maybe...
791
00:47:02,080 --> 00:47:04,952
it'll be better with you guys running things.
792
00:47:29,934 --> 00:47:32,371
Let me guess.
793
00:47:37,376 --> 00:47:39,639
You're getting my job.
794
00:47:42,555 --> 00:47:45,340
Is that what he told you?
795
00:47:47,516 --> 00:47:51,390
Yeah. Yeah, see...
796
00:47:51,433 --> 00:47:53,914
it's only a lie
797
00:47:53,958 --> 00:47:57,222
if we choose to believe it.
798
00:48:57,804 --> 00:48:59,327
That's pretty good.
799
00:48:59,371 --> 00:49:03,070
Definitely worth the wait.
800
00:49:11,470 --> 00:49:14,038
The most dangerous lies come in the form
801
00:49:14,081 --> 00:49:16,301
of beautifully wrapped gifts.
802
00:49:16,344 --> 00:49:18,912
On this evening, Sergeant Yuka discovered
803
00:49:18,956 --> 00:49:23,003
that there's no difference between myth and mistruth.
804
00:49:23,047 --> 00:49:27,007
She unwrapped her fateful present far too late
805
00:49:27,051 --> 00:49:30,315
on this dark and silent night
806
00:49:30,358 --> 00:49:32,752
Craving big poker? Feast your eyes on Venom. $5 million GTD. AmericasCardroom.com
807
00:49:30,358 --> 00:49:32,752
Craving big poker? Feast your eyes on Venom. $5 million GTD. AmericasCardroom.com
808
2 -->
->
809
3 -->
->
810
4 -->
->
811
5 -->
->
812
6 -->
->
813
7 -->
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Adverteer uw product of merk hier contact www.OpenSubtitles.org vandaag53428
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof