Original subtitles

♪ I need someone who understands♪

Since my divorce, my dating life is an absolute train wreck.

♪ 'Cause all these thoughts Got me too damn scared♪

[woman] I haven't been in an actual committed relationship

in over ten years.

[woman 2] I haven't found my soulmate.

But I feel like that's about to change.

Where are the men?

Where they at, where they at, where they at?

[woman 3] Men can date younger women.

But I feel like women get a bad reputation.

Ladies, ladies, ladies.

[woman 3] And you know what?

[bleep] that.

[women cheering]

[woman 4] There's something exciting about younger guys.

[women cheering]

I don't smell like an old person,

and I definitely don't want my man to smell like an old person, either.

[woman 5] Anytime you're with a group of women and you're with hot guys,

at some point, there's definitely conflict.

[woman 2] Okay.

Girl, I don't give a [bleep] about you being no [bleep] damn stripper.

I'm friends with women that are much worse than you.

-Much worse than me, there it is. -Okay. I mean, for real.

So what would you say if one of the women here has a boyfriend,

and masqueraded as a single person looking for love?

[man] I'm quite a jealous person.

When I'm seeing someone, I don't want them to be dating anyone else.

I kissed her four hours ago.

[man 2] I already know where this is going, bro.

It's not gonna be pretty.

I don't believe anything that he's ever said to me.

I am so damaged.

I am so hurt.

Okay, so I really don't like when people are in my face.

Tell him to [bleep] figure it out.

[woman] Somebody's coming!

[women] Oh, my God.

Guys, guys.

-[woman gasps] -What?

♪ I wanna see the sun come up We'll make it through it♪

♪ I wanna see The sun come up♪

♪ We only get once And then do it again♪

♪ Some people wait Their entire lives I wanna see the sun come up♪

My name's Jami.

I'm 51 years old and I'm from Bucks County, Pennsylvania.

My nickname is Sparkle because of my sparkling personality.

♪ Some people wait their entire lives ♪

♪ Just for a chance at a life like mine ♪

[Jami] I love being a mom, it's my number one job.

I have three children, and now that they are older,

I am an empty nester.

This is amazing.

Having two divorces with three children,

there is trauma there.

I've been able to remain the positive, happy person that I am,

but I had to work very hard to get there.

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

Oh, I'm gonna have fun out there.

Anybody here?

I believe that I am successful in most areas of my life,

except love and relationships.

Dating at my age, sometimes, is very intimidating.

I definitely need a drink.

I actually struggle with it at times because it's hard to be taken seriously.

I'm open to all age ranges,

but I prefer someone who is educated,

someone who I can have a good conversation with.

And superficially, they need to be good in bed.

Cheers.

Bring it on.

So now I am ready to find the person

that I believe deserves me and deserves my love.

Falling in love in Canada

is something that I never expected in my wildest dreams.

But it is something that I am hoping for in my wildest dreams.

Wow.

My name is Barby, and I'm 45 years old.

I live in Salt Lake City.

I'm originally from Mexico City, la Ciudad de Mexico.

This is so beautiful.

I have dated men from 29 all the way to one foot in the grave,

depending on how much money they have.

Hi.

-How are you? -I'm good. I'm Jami.

I'm Barby.

-Hi. Nice to meet you. -Hi. Nice to meet you.

I'm looking for the coochie tingles.

The men get the bonies and girls get the coochie tingles.

I hate myself right now, so much.

I have so much Botox, I can't even smile. Okay.

-You look so beautiful. -So do you.

-I like that we all did a little bit of color, so far. -I love that.

-Yeah. -Yeah. You look so good.

You're gonna have to teach me what you're doing for your arm workout.

I'm a fitness instructor.

-Perfect. Yeah. -Yeah.

[Barby] I feel like we were both kind of eyeballing each other.

And she caught me checking her out.

And she said, "Mm. Thanks."

She gave me one of those.

-Cheers. -Cheers.

I am not worried about sharing the same dating pool with Jami.

I don't see her as competition.

-So, you're a mom. -I am a mom, yeah, my son is 26.

-Wow. -Yeah. How old are yours?

-I have three. -Wow.

I feel like I had a great sexual life in my 20s and my 30s.

But as I've gotten older, there needs to be now this connection,

with it being emotional, and mental.

I haven't been in an actual, committed relationship in over 10 years.

I'm everybody's favorite ex-girlfriend, so I'm coming here for a genuine connection.

I'm so excited for this experience.

And who knows, hopefully I can find somebody to fall in love with.

Or play handsies with.

What if it's just you and I with all the men?

That could definitely be fun.

Yeah, I think I've seen a porn like that once.

[gasps]

Oh, my God.

My name is Kelly Mac.

I am that little old lady from Pasadena, California.

Gorgeous.

I fled Vietnam in 1975, hours after the Viet Cong took over Saigon.

[voice shaking] With only the clothes on our backs.

And I can still remember it to this day.

Coming to America was the best thing that could happen to me.

Not only am I an immigrant,

but a very proud American.

Oh, my goodness.

Look, we have a guest.

Wow.

-Nice to meet you, I'm Kelly. -[Jami] Hi.

I've been married twice.

And I've been divorced twice.

At my age, the whole dating scene can be really overwhelming.

People my age are like, they're jaded, they're tired. and they smell.

Cheers to a brand new opportunity,

-and living it up, right? -Yeah. Living our best life.

That's right. That's right.

I don't look my age.

I don't act my age.

And I don't smell like an old person,

and I definitely don't want my man to smell like an old person, either.

My name is Crystal and I'm 48 years old.

I live in Charlotte, North Carolina,

and I'm originally from St Louis, Missouri.

I have three sons and I have four grandchildren.

I don't like the title "grandmother."

I guess you can call me a "glam ma."

Oh, my God.

I've had five significant relationships in my life.

One was a marriage.

Three were my children's fathers, and just one significant relationship,

outside of that.

I blame myself for picking them bad.

I blame them for being who they were.

But I haven't given up on relationships.

We have a guest.

-Yes. -Come on down, mama.

-Hi. -Hi.

Nice to meet you, I'm Kelly.

Hi, I'm Jami.

[Crystal] I would say that I'm a unique individual because I consider myself a chameleon.

I adapt to my environment.

I know how to be professional when it's time to be professional.

But I'm from the hood, so when I go home, I know how to put that hood face on.

Tell us about how many children you have.

I have three. Three boys.

-And I recently lost a child two years ago. -Oh, my God.

-Yeah, so... -[Jami] So sorry about that.

[Barby] I'm so sorry.

He would have been 23 in a few days, actually.

-September, as well. -So sorry.

-Thank you. Yeah, it's fine. -So sorry about that.

I just can't imagine what you've been through.

Yeah, it's still fresh.

It's only been two years.

Portland was 20 years old when he was killed.

He was killed with his best friend in St Louis, Missouri.

Some guys tried to rob him, didn't get a dime, but they, they...

They shot him and they shot his best friend, they died in the car.

Yeah.

But I've been strong, though.

-Yes, yes. -I work a lot. I work a ton.

I feel like this is a blessing for me to be here.

And this is another one of his, his requests from God, like, bless my mommy,

bless my mommy. You know, let's do this for her.

So that's the way I like to think about it. Yeah.

I feel like my son is my guardian angel now,

and I feel like my heart is open to love again.

The last thing I want is to have a broken heart on top of a grieving heart.

I can say that.

I'm Christina from good old North Carolina.

I am 46 and I'm just a Southern girl, as they say.

And I came to find my man.

I've gone through a divorce a couple years ago.

You know, I was married for almost 20 years.

After my divorce, you know, I was like, I'm done. I'm never marrying again.

Wow, gorgeous.

It took me a long time to heal. And move forward.

In the past two years, I have not been very lucky in dating.

It's hard for me to meet guys because I live in a small town,

and I don't date in my hometown. I do have a rule.

Everybody knows everybody, and so I think that's why I want to venture out.

That's what I'm here for.

I think somebody's coming.

[women cheering]

-You joining us? -Join!

-How are you? -Welcome, welcome.

-I'm Barby. -Christina.

Hi, Christina. Nice to meet you.

I'm excited to start a new life

and find someone that I can build a future with.

I am open to dating younger guys,

but I feel like the women get a bad reputation.

It's almost like we're doing something bad, and you know what?

[bleep] that.

Do you want a little glass of white?

-Definitely, for sure. -Let's get you a wine.

-Nice legs! -Thank you.

If men can do it, then we can do it.

Right?

So what do you do?

I own a small marketing agency called the Marketing Boutique.

Prior to that, let's just call it what it is.

I was a stripper.

-Okay. -Wow, we know a dancer.

-No regrets. -What's that?

I'll show you later.

It took me a while to get comfortable with saying,

like, I am, or was a stripper.

But I own it now, and I've tried really hard

to shine some light on the industry.

And my interpretation of feminism is allowing women to do whatever they want.

Do you want to see my trick?

[chuckles]

Mama's gonna work it out.

At this point, I'm not surprised.

Just looking at her accessories and her green dress,

Barby wants to be the center of attention.

You know, she just has to be all eyes on me.

But she is no competition for me.

-Hi! -Hi!

-We have another one? -Oh, my God.

[women cheering]

Come on down!

Hi, I'm Lannette.

I'm 50 years old.

I'm from North Carolina.

I have a 26-year-old son and a 17-year-old daughter.

-Now we need to hear who Lannette is. -Oh, Lord.

Divorced for eight years. And I've just been kind of coasting along,

looking for somebody, and having absolutely no luck.

-Join the club. -Yep.

-That's why we're all here. -I bet your luck is about to change.

-Yes. -Yes!

When I got divorced, I entered my hoe phase.

I never really I had one.

I went straight from college and then I got pregnant.

And then I was with my ex-husband for 20 years,

so I never really had an opportunity

to do a lot of exploration, if you will. It was a joyous time.

I had a lot of fun with a lot of people.

What kind of guys do you think are coming?

-We were talking about that. -I think they're young and hot.

-That's what I'm thinking. -Yeah, that's...

-Like young, like... -Like, mid to late-twenties.

What if they're like, 40-year-olds with beer bellies?

Are we okay with that?

I think younger men have a lot to offer me.

It's kind of a rejuvenation process.

It kind of takes me back in time.

Makes me feel young and playful.

And then at the same time, I think I have a lot of attributes

they're looking for. I'm ready to share my life with someone,

and I think turning 50 really brought all of that to a head.

So how are we going to do this?

Like, what happens if we like the same guy?

Are we just like going to Duke it out?

You know what? All you bitches are competition.

Damn.

I definitely have been in the same dating pool as a lot of my friends.

[Christina] I can already tell with all the personalities in this house

that there's going to be some drama.

And there's going to be women that are going to compete

because I feel like everybody's so headstrong.

In this house, with these personalities, it could be a [bleep] show.

I hope, with this experience, we do meet some hotties,

but I hope they are not, like, our sons.

-I would die. -I would die.

I wouldn't...

I would die.

It is very difficult to date with my son around.

It would make me very, very uncomfortable.

It's, it's very hard for me not to fall in love

-and fall in love with the whole... -[cell phone chimes]

...idea of being in love.

-Oh, my God, I got a text. -[Crystal] Where did you get a text from?

-I did. -Great.

And of course, I don't have my readers.

-Okay. -Wait, wait.

Why send the text to the one that can't see without glasses?

-Hold on. Okay, I'll read it. -Okay.

"Welcome to a brand new season of MILF Manor.

Get ready for an unforgettable experience with wild challenges, incredible dates,

and most importantly, the opportunity to find true love."

Aw...

"For this journey,

each of you has a cell phone.

This will be your main source of communication for your time here.

Stay tuned for the next message.

P.S. Prepare for some major shocks and surprises

throughout your time here." What does that mean?

I don't know. I just got chills. I'm honestly scared at this moment.

[Barby] I have no idea what the manor has in store for us,

but I'm excited to see what kind of men are coming to the manor.

I mean, that's why I'm here.

-Where are the men? -Where are the men?

Where they at, where they at, where they at?

[cell phone chimes]

[Christina] I got a text.

"Ladies, you're about to begin the wildest dating experience of your lives."

[Jami] Uh-oh.

"Look towards the lake.

Men are arriving now."

[all cheering]

Bring it, boys!

[Crystal] I am excited, but I'm nervous because I have no idea

who's about to get off this boat.

-[air horn blowing] -[women cheering]

If my son gets off that boat, I'm gonna have a stroke.

Oh, my God.

[Christina] I'm ready. It's game time. It's go time.

Let's get this party started.

-Yeah! -Yeah!

-Yeah! -[all cheering]

-It's happening! -[whooping]

-Like, finally. -Come to Mama.

[Jami] Oh, my God.

I am freaking out right now.

This is crazy.

This is so crazy.

Hi!

Welcome to MILF Manor, boys.

[Christina] I'm excited, but I'm nervous.

I'm here to find a connection or find love, and I don't know what's planned.

But I am someone that embraces life and people and experiences.

So bring it on.

♪ I can be your angel If you want me to♪

Hi!

♪ I can be your angel If you want me to♪

Wow! Yeah.

Ladies, ladies, ladies.

[Jami] Okay, now.

All right.

[women cheering]

My name is Chris. I am from Owensboro, Kentucky.

27 years old.

I'm an MMA fighter and a model.

I ain't gonna lie.

I love my Hispanic women.

I love my Asian women.

I love my thick women, my slim women, my White women, Black women,

I've tried dating, like, just out on the streets,

I've tried picking things up, I've tried the online dating apps.

Uh, I've yet to find something worthwhile.

So, I was like, all right, let's give this a shot.

So now here we are.

[Chris] How are you ladies doing?

-Oh, my God. -[gasps]

The first guy that came up the stairs was gorgeous.

Like a model.

-I'm Kelly. Nice to meet you. -Kelly.

Dark skin, green eyes.

You get the picture.

Hi, I'm Barby.

-Hi. -Yes, Barby.

-Let's do two kisses. -Nice to meet you.

I made up my mind already about how I feel about him.

Barby tries to call dibs on the tall guy.

I'm like, no way, bitch.

That's mine.

♪ Danger is my middle name♪

I'm here because I kind of wanna get manhandled by an older woman.

♪ Danger is my middle name♪

One thing I learned about dating older women

is that they know what they want.

I really just love a girl who's, you know, can take control, one,

and, you know, show me some new things, in and out of the bedroom.

♪ I know I look so innocent♪

[women cheering]

Hi.

I'm coming. Don't worry. I'm getting up there.

Shimmy shimmy.

The first thing I notice is these big baby eyes with the dark features.

He's either Greek or Italian, has curly hair,

and I also can tell he's gonna be the wild one.

Hi, Joey. How you doing?

Joey is giving bad boy vibes.

-Nice to meet you. -Hi Joey,

-I'm Kelly, nice to meet you. -Joey, nice to meet you.

-Christina, nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you.

I'm walking in so ready to meet these women. Little boys, step aside.

Joey's the man, and I'm ready to rock.

♪ Hey, hey, hey There's nothing in the way♪

I'm definitely here to find love.

And I'm here to find a best friend, so I'm really looking for someone

who's sort of on the same wavelength.

I love women that are intellectually stimulating,

and I find that older women tend to be a lot more so.

Wow.

Any excuse to get the top off, I'm doing it.

I get first dibs because I am the oldest one here.

Yeah, no, no girl, uh-uh.

-It's about damn time, I'm Kelly. -Hi.

We'll hug it out, we'll hug it out, nice to meet you.

Just when I think it couldn't get any better.

Jacob. Very athletic, well-dressed,

handsome, piercing blue eyes.

He looks like a model, and he smells fresh and delicious, too.

My name is Sam. I'm 24 years old,

and I'm working in sales and going back to school.

I'm definitely ready to find love.

I'm extremely hopeful for this entire experience.

I think it's awesome that it's become more normal for younger men

to date older women. Older women are less insecure.

They're more honest, which is great.

I don't want to play guessing games like I do with most women my age.

-I'm Lannette. -I'm Sam.

-It's great to meet you. -Hey, Sam, good to meet you.

So hot and cute.

He's kind of got a little swagger,

a sophistication to him.

-Yes. -Okay, he's cute. I call dibs.

I'm Miles. I'm 24 years old.

I'm here to possibly meet the love of my life.

I know I'm a catch because I have a beautiful smile,

a gorgeous face, a lovely body.

I'm easy on the eyes, and I'm humble.

-I'm Miles. Nice to meet you. -Hi, Miles, I'm Lannette. Nice to meet you.

-Hi, I'm Barby. -Hello.

-Miles, nice to meet you. -Little cuties.

-Thank you. -Wow.

-Hi, I'm Crystal, nice to meet you. -Miles, nice to meet you.

Miles come in, clean-cut.

Swag.

Big guns, and I'm like, yeah.

That's my type.

I wanna see what's under that shirt.

So I just noticed there's five guys,

-and six women. -How many are there?

-Very perceptive. -Uh-oh.

Did you guys forget one on the boat?

Yeah, someone fell overboard, yeah. We left him.

I'm a little shell-shocked but pleasantly surprised.

The guys are extremely kind and very good looking.

But I'm a little worried by the fact that there's five of them.

And six of us.

There's a bit of unknown going on, but I'm just leaning into it.

And who knows? I may find the man of my dreams.

You guys looked great coming in. That's all that matters.

Can we agree? The ladies are pretty beautiful themselves.

[all agreeing]

[Jami] I'm so excited to meet everyone.

I am ecstatic.

We have some absolute bombshells.

-Okay, so I've never been to Vegas, -You've got to go to Vegas.

[Sam] I like Christina a lot. She's obviously beautiful.

She has pretty eyes, an athletic body in general.

And I'm excited to get to know her better.

What are you drinking?

I'm a whiskey kind of guy.

-[Jami] Okay. -[Barby] He's going for the hard stuff.

That's what I'll be going for later.

[Miles speaking]

All right, who wants to make out first?

I'm just kidding. I'm kidding.

I know right off the bat that there's gonna be

an issue with women liking the same men.

Because anytime you're with a group of women

and you're with a group of hot guys,

there's definitely conflict at some point.

I have to live in a house with these people for a while,

and so I know it's definitely coming.

Welcome to our first challenge.

-Yes! -Let's go.

"If Canada is known for one thing, it's maple syrup."

[Chris] Hope that tastes good.

Guys, guys.

Like, that's probably the last thing that I expected to happen.

-What? -[Crystal] I need another drink.

[Christina] I think I need one, too.

♪ You, you, you, you, you Got a hold on me ♪

You like Latinas?

-Absolutely. Yeah. -Yeah. Okay, good.

-Cheers to that. -Yeah.

You guys are probably one of the two most beautiful people here. For sure.

Aw, you're cute.

-That is so sweet. -Absolutely.

-No, I really mean it. -You have a good energy about you.

I'm an energy person.

-Yeah? Me too. -You have a really good energy about you.

I can, I can back that with you two.

-Definitely. -Yeah, yeah.

I'm sorry. I can't get over your eyes.

-They're actually gorgeous. -Thank you. Yours too.

And you're very mature.

-Thank you. -Yeah.

I immediately connect with Joey.

He's very charming and sweet.

So we had a connection right when he came up pretty much.

[Barby] Are you guys gonna break it up?

-Hi Barby. -Yeah, hi.

-Break it up. -Come sit.

-Come and sit on someone's lap. -Yes.

-Hi. -Hi.

Yeah, you do too.

-Thank you. Appreciate it. -Yeah.

Barby is feeling intimidation, so she has to piss on her territory.

I mean, I'm personally not threatened by her,

but if you wanna play like that,

may the best woman win.

So, what brings you to MILF Manor?

Oof.

Just trying to find somebody to call home.

Somebody to call home.

Okay, that's the answer.

Okay.

It keeps getting better, darling. Can I get a drink?

I do love older women.

I love their maturity.

I love their drive in bed. They know what they're doing.

They've taught me a thing or two, and then I passed it down...

to the younger women.

I do a lot of, like, triathlons, iron mans,

-that sort of thing. -Mm-hmm.

So, keeping fit is like a massive thing for me.

So you do have a six pack?

-Of course. -Let me see it.

-We can see in a little bit. -Let me see it.

-We can see in a little bit. Definitely. -Let me see your six pack.

I will definitely be getting it out later.

Don't you worry about that.

[Joey] Can we see the inside now?

[women] Yeah!

[Joey] Come on, I want you to take me on a tour.

-I didn't even get a selfie. -[Kelly] Come on, this way.

[woman] Ooh.

[Jacob] Yeah, okay.

Feels amazing.

[Jami] Oh, my God.

[Christina] This is so cute.

[Kelly] Isn't it pretty?

If anybody's a chef, I'll take salmon.

[Joey] Where's the garbage?

[Jami] Oh, yeah.

-Are you really? -Okay, salmon.

[Lanette reading]

[Jacob] Rilfi. What does that mean?

[Lanette] I have no idea?

[Crystal] It's like the word MILF.

-[Lanette] Oh, I got it. -What?

Room I'd Like To [bleep] In

[all exclaiming]

Who gets this room? Could we draw for it?

I get this room.

Yeah, right.

[cell phone chimes]

Uh-oh, guys...

Oh. Wait, what?

[Joey] "Ladies and gentlemen...

it's time for your first challenge.

For this challenge, each of you will pair up with a man.

And one of the special women will be our host.

To choose your partner and find out who's hosting.

Ladies, pick a card."

Ooh! Okay.

"Whichever lady chooses the host card,

won't get to play,

but don't worry there are plenty more challenges coming.

Ladies, get to picking."

-[women] Whoo! -Wow.

[woman] Okay, go ahead.

Who's the lucky guy?

You better not pick mine.

Miles!

[cheering]

All right, hold on, I gotta do this.

I am very nervous because I don't know who I'm gonna get.

If I had to say who I had my eye on right now,

it would definitely be Joey.

He's just my type. He's got it going on.

Jacob.

[all cheering]

[Christina] I pull out Jacob's name,

and he is, um...

[whispering] What's his background? I forgot.

British, yeah.

Joey.

[all cheering]

-[Joey] We're winning. -We already won.

Yep, sure.

[Joey] I'm excited. This is a good opportunity

to get to know Jami.

I want to spend more time with these women

because I just met them, you know? I wanna get to know

each and every single one of them.

You know, I want to really meet them.

I don't just want to say hello and be like you have nice [bleep].

I wanna like, meet them.

And I have...

[gasps]

I'm the host.

[all cheering]

[Barby] I wanted Chris, but I drew the host card.

So I'm gonna be the host. Kind of bummed out.

I'm not gonna be participating,

but it is what it is.

[Jacob] All right.

Okay, here we go.

[whooping and cheering]

I'm crossing my fingers that I get Chris.

Chris is long, lean, athletic,

amazingly attractive.

I think he would excel at any kind of physical challenge.

I mean, he's an MMA fighter, for Christ's sake.

Sam.

[all cheering]

[Sam] Even though my eyes are drawn to Christina at first,

Lanette's somebody I'm also very happy

to partner up with.

She's tall, she's beautiful.

Excited to get to know her more.

[Jacob] Last one. I wonder who it could be.

Chris.

[Jacob] Chris.

[Crystal exclaiming] Okay.

[Crystal] Everybody got their eyes set on Chris.

I ended up picking Chris.

So, sorry, ladies.

[Joey] Okay. I just got another text, guys.

Oh, wow!

"Now that you're all in teams,

gentlemen, we have special outfits for you

that you can find in your bedrooms.

Ladies, please go get changed into your swimsuits.

Once you're ready, please head outside."

[women] Whoo!

[Chris] How competitive am I?

On a scale of one to ten. I'm about a solid 12.

Everything I do, I do with a 110 percent effort. So...

The guys better come ready.

[Barby] Partners will pour the maple syrup

on each other's bodies.

[Kelly] It's fun to run...

my hands on this...

hot, fit, firm...

pecs, deltoids, abs.

Men my age...

do not have a body like this.

[peppy music playing]

[Barby] We received the text message,

and we find out we have to put on our swimsuits,

and meet the guys outside.

[Jami] " Maple syrup?"

-Does everyone realize that it says, MILF Maple Syrup? -Yeah.

[Christina] We see all this maple syrup,

we're like at the hell could we be doing with that?

Obviously, it's sexual, you know? So...

But, I mean, I'm excited. [chuckles softly]

[man] Oh, yeah.

[women applauding]

Wow, Canada.

[Crystal] Take a look. Oh!

[Kelly] Whatever the challenge is...

I am excited to see these guys

in their Canadian speedos.

These guys' bodies are incredible.

Bring it on, 25-year-old [bleep].

[Christina] Woo-hoo!

At the start, I was, you know, disappointed

that I wasn't going to be paired with Joey, but...

Seeing Jacob in the Canadian Speedo,

yeah. I mean, it's the... when I say, no pun intended,

it's the full package.

Welcome to our first challenge.

[all cheering]

"If Canada is known for one thing,

it's maple syrup.

And you guys are about to get

close and personal with it.

Today is all about intimacy,

because if you guys get close physically,

you can also get close...

emotionally.

On go,

each pair will work together

to fill a giant jar of MILF Maple Syrup.

Partners will have to pour the maple syrup

on to each other's bodies,

and then move across the lane to transfer the syrup

into their respective containers."

Ew.

[Jami] My son, who's in college,

is absolutely gonna kill me.

He's in a fraternity in college,

and his life is over.

[Barby] "You have ten minutes

and the duo that fills the jar with the most,

wins the challenge.

And most important of all,

the winning duo will go for a romantic date

out on the town."

[all cheering]

[Chris] I would love to go out with Crystal.

She's a southern belle. I like the fact

that she has those Southern traits.

She knows how to take care of her man.

Would love to dive deeper into that.

On your mark.

Get set...

Go!

Damn, they came off.

[Joey] Oh, that's thick.

[man] Over here, over here.

[Barby] Wow.

They all have ten minutes,

and the challenge is they have

to pour the maple syrup on their bodies...

[Joey] Oh, my God. It's...

-Crazy. -[Joey] Sticky.

[Barby] And then they have to go down the lane,

and then pour all the maple syrup that's on their bodies

into the jar.

[Crystal] Oh, my God.

Yeah, that's ripping hair.

I felt like some of my leg hairs getting pulled out.

But I've got to suck it up, because...

I'm a very competitive guy.

I'm an MMA fighter.

So, like, I don't like losing. I don't like coming in second.

Either your first or your last.

[Barby] You guys are turning me on.

I feel a little left out.

Come on, now.

We're getting off to a slow start over there, guys.

[Kelly] I am having...

a delicious time.

Everyone else seems to be ahead of us.

I'm taking my time

because we were enjoying this.

It's fun to run...

my hands on this...

hot, fit, firm,

pecs, deltoids, abs,

assets.

Men my age...

do not have a body like this.

[Jami] Oh, my God.

There's so much coming down here.

Yeah, you... it should have been taken off.

[Joey] Yeah, let's go.

[Barby] We're about to see the growers and the showers here.

This is definitely not boring.

And he's definitely growing right now.

[Christina laughing]

No, am not.

[Christina] Jacob's maple leaf went from

rawr to rawwwrrr

in no time.

Jacob has a banging body,

and again, he's very well endowed,

we're vibing right now,

and I would definitely love to win the challenge.

A, because I'm competitive,

but I also want to go on a date.

And, yeah I would definitely like to get to know Jacob.

[Barby] Anyone turned on right now?

So just... No? Just me?

I need to see his back a little sticky.

Oh, that's so hot.

See, you got this man over here thinking.

[Chris] Yeah, little thinking. Little too much.

Coochie tingles.

Coochie tingles.

[Barby] Part of me felt a little bit jealous.

Everyone's covered in maple syrup.

They're touching each other's bare bodies.

Sticky, sexy.

It's hot.

No. Kiss your nose.

Tasty?

What the [bleep]. Seriously, Barby?

Come on, girl.

I'd like to get under here a little bit, sorry.

[chuckles] You can help out too.

Well...

Barby is bopping around,

licking people, acting wild.

But I don't feel threatened by no woman. So...

not paying attention to her.

[Chris] Go. Hope that tastes good.

[Crystal laughing]

[Barby] One minute left, you guys.

One minute.

-[Joey] We got to make up some ground here. -[Jami] Why?

-[Joey] Because we got to do more. -[Jami] Okay.

This is not good enough.

I think we're ahead in this moment,

but I need to solidify this victory,

so, I can take Jami out of the house.

Definitely love to get to know her. That's a fact.

She's a [bleep] smoke show.

So, that's the goal. I want to get Jami out.

-[Joey] Oh, that hurts. -[Jami] Sorry.

[Christina] And I'm looking around and we're obviously losing,

which I do not like.

So we have to formulate a new plan.

So I obviously have, you know?

The girls.

Let's just pour right onto the girls,

hold them up and just run to the barrel.

Ten seconds.

[Joey] Come on, figure it out.

-[Barby] Nine. -[Chris] Come on.

[Barby] Eight,

seven,

six,

five,

four,

three,

two,

one. [mimicking buzzer]

-Yeah. -[Crystal laughing]

[Joey] Woah, we definitely took that.

-Jami, we got that. -[Jami] Yes.

[Joey] Let's go who ultimately won, though?

[Barby] You guys did an amazing job.

[all cheering]

Sexy and sticky and messy

and all of the above.

Congratulations.

"Crystal and Chris, You won the challenge.

-And the first date." -[both celebrating]

Hey! What'd I tell you?

[Jacob] Why are you cheering him?

[Crystal] I'm very competitive.

I'm always with the mindset that I'm going to win.

And that's exactly what we did.

I had a fun time with Chris.

It was very massaging, very sensual.

We might continue to rub on each other,

and we'll find out on tonight's date.

[cell phone chimes]

[Barby] I have a text message.

"Barby, because you did such a great job hosting...

[cheering]

...you also get to ask somebody on a date."

[cheering]

Barby didn't even have to do the challenge

that we had to do,

and she gets to go on a date.

Totally not fair.

"Choose wisely." Hmm.

[Barby humming]

I thought Jacob tasted the best.

[whooping and cheering]

[Jacob] I graciously accept.

Wheek-wheek!

[Christina] When Barby asked Jacob on a date,

I was shocked, but not shocked.

I mean, she was already scoping him out.

But listen, we're not gonna focus on the past.

I'm gonna move forward and go after who I want.

-[champagne pops] -Whoo!

Have you ever had your butt bitten?

[Christina] No.

Would you let me bite your butt?

So I'm curious to know who you guys

were attracted to at the house.

A hundred percent you, Barby.

-I had my eye on Barby. -Okay.

What she need to do is worry about her date,

and get the [bleep] out of mine.

[Jacob] Oh, my God. I'm excited.

-[Barby] Me too. -[Jacob] I'm so hungry.

[Barby] Because I was the host, I was given

the opportunity to go on a date myself.

And I would have picked Chris,

but Crystal won the challenge,

and so then I picked Jacob.

I'm really interested to find out

what kind of chemistry we have,

but I'm also a little awkward

because I don't date as much

in my normal life anymore.

But, yeah. Jacob's cute.

I feel a little bit saucy,

romantic.

I have some food menus for you to have a look at.

Can I start off with something to drink?

-Yes, please. -I forgot my readers.

Do you want me to read it for you?

Yes, yeah.

I'm super excited. I'm actually so flattered

that Barbie picked me.

I was not expecting that at all.

I mean, from the beginning,

Barby was always my first choice, so...

The fact she picked me in the challenge,

I'm over the moon, to be honest.

And, yeah, I'm just gonna see where it goes.

[all] Cheers!

Let us bum, bum, bum...

[Jacob] So, I'm interested in,

girls, who were you attracted to?

[Barby] Right off the bat? [Jacob] Right off the bat.

As in, We're walking in What were your thoughts?

Well, I think you were one of the first people to walk in.

-The first... -[Jacob] Yeah, you were the...

[Barby] So, you were already, like...

Schwing! You know? [Jacob chuckles]

-[Barby] Yeah. -Mmhh.

Are you serious right now?

Like, why would you call out

the guy that I'm on a date with?

Clear, that Barbie needs to, like, always, get attention.

But what she needs to do

is worry about her date,

and get the [beep] out of mine.

So I'm curious to know who you guys

were attracted to at the house,

-when you guys first met us. -Yeah.

[Jacob] That's a good question.

That's what I want to know.

A hundred percent you, Barby.

Like, you're... you are my type on paper.

-Okay. -[Barby] I need a lie detector test.

I'm gonna say, if I'm being honest,

I had my eye on Barby.

I love the green. I'm gonna say I love the ink,

[Crystal] Okay, Barby.

but then, that's why I was like,

"Okay, we're going on a date, all together.

Perfect, I'm here for it."

The vibe is awkward,

which makes me kind of feel bad for Crystal.

So, I feel

secretly kind of good, but, you know?

"Ugh, guys."

[chuckles softly]

[Lanette] Whoo-hoo!

[Jami] Oh, my... Wow.

[Lanette] What are you doing?

[Kelly] Girl! Go, rock it.

What are you doing?

[Christina] I will tell you later.

[Kelly] Yes, tell me later.

[Christina] I'm not gonna lie.

Barbie choosing, you know, Jacob did kind of frustrate me.

So, I'm pursuing other options.

-[Joey] What is this? -Do you wanna go on the hot tub?

When Joey first came up, you know?

I had an attraction to him,

and I go after what I want.

-Yeah -Shall we?

[Joey] Let's do it. Mmm.

I am getting the vibe that Christina is into me,

and I'm comfortable with anything

from like twenty-three to like,

sixty-five.

-[champagne pops] -Whoo!

But if she's hot, she's hot.

They're all in play.

So, I'm gonna get right into this, actually

I have a question.

-Okay. -Um...

Would you say sexually, like, you know, in bed and stuff,

would you consider yourself to be dominant?

I do like...

to be the dominant one,

-at some point. -Yeah.

Are you into BDSM?

Yes.

I am definitely into BDSM.

Yeah, whips, chains,

red room type of vibe.

You gotta keep it spicy.

Have you ever had your butt bitten?

[Christina] No.

Would you let me bite your butt?

I just think you have a biteable butt,

and I definitely want to bite it.

[Joey] Biting butts is completely my thing.

It's kind of my love language, I think.

There hasn't been a girl I've been with, since I was 18,

that I didn't bite her butt.

Realistically, I actually believe that any guy

who wants to get a girl,

if you tell her you want to bite her butt,

she will most definitely let you bite her butt.

Do you think my butt is that good?

Yeah. I just want to bite it.

Really?

Very badly.

[Christina laughing]

-So, you... -You just stand up right now.

He's gonna bite my butt, okay.

[Christina] If that's what he wants to do, of course, yeah.

Bite my butt, Joey.

This is gonna be so interesting.

I'm gonna allow you to bite my butt.

-I'm gonna show you why. -Okay.

See Just a little nudge.

Nothing crazy.

Well, you can get more into detail with it, but...

That's a good butt.

[Christina] The biting of the butt, such a turn on.

A whole other level for sure.

So you think I made the right move tonight,

like, by pulling you out here?

[Joey] Hundred percent.

But I still wanna make out with you. Come here.

♪ Don't let me drown, drown Drown, drown ♪

♪ Don't let me drown Drown on my own ♪

[Christina] It definitely got the juices flowing.

It's getting hot in here.

I think I'm really into him, like...

he is definitely

my type, and...

and we'll see where it goes from here.

And you bit my lip.

I didn't bite it...

I know, but it was a suck. [chuckling]

[Joey] We're getting there.

[Christina laughing]

[Jacob] I'm so excited, we're on this date, by the way.

-Yeah, me too. -Like, no, genuinely, I really am.

Were you surprised that I picked you?

-So surprised. -[Barby] Really?

Yeah. I mean, you were making comments, right.

While the challenge was...

[Barby] Well, yeah, I mean, I saw what I saw,

and I tasted what I tasted.

What's the oldest woman you've ever been with?

35.

I love older women.

I love reading.

I love philosophy.

-I love politics. -Wow.

So, I feel like I don't really connect with a lot of

younger women on that sort of, that basis.

So for me, I'm really looking for someone who's...

But you just said everything that I'm into like...

-Well, yeah. -Well, happy days.

What about you? What is your dating history like?

Um...

I feel like I already went through the party thing

when I was younger, you know?

And I had my son pretty young as well.

And I've been a wild child, you know?

Wait, were you married?

-I've never been married. -No?

Uh-uh.

What do you think your son would think?

Ooh. [chuckles]

[Jacob] Mmm.

My son is very protective.

Okay.

And maybe not as open-minded as I am.

-Yeah? -Yeah.

I think it'd probably be, like

why you're not dating somebody your age kind of thing, you know?

The age gap is not even a thing.

-No, of course. -Yeah.

Do you feel the same way?

No, I definitely feel the same way.

-Yeah? -Hundred percent.

-Are we vibey? -We're vibing.

-Are you getting a boner? -Mmm.

Yeah.

-What do we do with this? -Should we Lady and the Tramp it?

-Yeah. -Yeah.

[Jacob tittering]

[Barby laughing]

Sense of humor is one of my love languages.

So, if I'm not laughing with you,

we're probably not going to be a good match.

[both giggling]

-[Jacob] Yummy. -[Barby retches]

Don't do that.

[both laughing]

I'm buzzing to be honest.

I think that was as first dates go,

that was so good.

[beep] Hey, cheers.

I have not had a day like that in a long time.

[Barby] I'm glad that I went on a date with...

Jacob and we have the chemistry that we do.

I know that we have things in common.

But I'm looking forward to still finding out

what kind of chemistry I have with some of the guys in the house.

And so I'm not ruling out anybody or anything quite yet.

Well, can I ask you a personal question?

Go ahead. I'm an open book.

When is the last time you've been in love?

Woah!

If you ask me, I fell in love with fighting.

That's, that's not what I'm talking about.

-Yeah, but... -In love with a woman.

And I've ended relationships with a woman

that I loved, for fighting.

[Crystal] It's okay, if you want to have

your profession or your job or what you love to do

as a priority over a relationship.

However, I know what I need,

and that's just not gonna work for me.

It sounds like you were not in love with her.

You were in love with the thought of...

-[Chris] The idea... -A relationship.

The idea of a relationship versus...

the actual person.

I'm looking forward to finding somebody that

is as important to me as fighting is.

That's a... that's a a steep hill,

but it is...

It is a goal of mine.

I'm hoping that I can find that relationship here.

I'm gonna say, definitely seeing some potential in the house.

So, I'm looking forward to that.

[Jacob] That's probably the last thing

that I expected to happen.

Guys, guys...

[gasping] [woman] What!

[Jacob] I'm not gonna lie.

It feels like a knock out.

[Christina] Things are definitely about to get spicy.

[Kelly] Good morning, Canada.

All right, listen, so, let me go ahead and put...

the rest of myself together.

[Joey] You know, Christina,

I had a dream about you.

What was it?

[Joey] I bit your butt again.

[all chuckling]

He's got like a butt fetish, like...

It's all about the butts.

I had so much fun with Joey in the hot tub.

Me and Joey have a vibe.

I can't explain the connection,

but would I let Joey bite my butt again?

A hundred percent.

He's sexy.

[Joey] I want to know your one through three lineup.

-Yeah, yeah. -Who's your lead off?

Who's your second and who's your power hitter?

Lead... Barby.

[Joey] Barby is one?

Yeah, that's the lead.

I'm gonna say that's...

But I think it's like I haven't even had

the chance to sit down and talk to her yet.

So, like, I know it's lust, like...

like, I know nothing about her.

All right, number one...

I'm gonna go, Christina,

and then, two, I'm gonna go...

Barby, yeah.

[Jacob] I mean, Barby's number one, obviously.

Yeah. I mean, looks wise, obviously,

but personality.

[Joey] Yeah, you guys got to connect on that next level.

We were vibing.

We were vibing. I was, like, "Okay."

[Jacob] I'm hoping that

Chris doesn't try and connect with Barby, obviously.

He's a good looking guy.

He's a lot taller than me as well,

but I mean, I'm definitely not fazed by that.

I got there first,

so he's gonna have to step aside.

[Barby] Do you...

men feel like you're hanging out with...

with older women?

-[Kelly] Ooh, that's a good question. -I'm not gonna lie.

It's really, I'm like, very comfortable around you guys.

Would it be different if we were

all around your age?

[Joey] I think it's honestly, in a way better

that you're not because girls our age,

they're very competitive with each other,

and it's not as much like everyone's looking out for each other.

People are helping in the kitchen, like [beep]

never would've happened if they were our age.

They still would've, probably been in their room.

[Sam] No, they would have been, you guys clean it up?

A hundred percent.

[Joey] What about you guys, though?

How does it feel, you know?

[Crystal] It's a different type of conversation.

It's a different flow.

I would say a lot of older women,

we are in, we're in better shape.

A lot of us are in better shape, and...

If you guys, you know, you keep us feeling young

and you do activities that we can keep up with.

-[Kelly] Like sex. -[chuckling]

[Christina laughing] Yeah.

[suspenseful music playing]

[Barby] We are in our prime, sexual prime as we get older.

You guys are younger, you're still sexual prime.

[suspenseful music continuing]

[Barby] For instance, for me, I don't feel any different

than I did when I was 20, right?

Twenty years later,

my body is changing.

I'm getting a little bit older physically, all of that.

But I still internally feel young as [beep]

-What's their name? -[all chuckling]

Guys, guys.

It's my [beep] dad.

[Barby] What!

[Sam] Oh, my God. It's my dad.

[Jacob] That's my [beep] dad.

[women cheering]

That fact that my dad's turned up

is actually like blowing my mind.

Like, that's probably the last thing

that I expected to happen.

Feels like a sucker punch.

I'm in the ring.

It feels like a knockout. I'm not gonna lie.

Oh, my God. They are a handful.

[Lanette] Oh, my God. The dads are hotter than the sons.

-I feel faint. -[Barby] Me too.

Oh, squeeze your butt cheeks together.

It pushes the blood up to your head.

Oh, yeah.

I cannot believe these are their dads.

What's going on?

[dads chuckling]

The Dads are [beep] hotties.

I don't know what the dads are doing here,

but things are definitely about to get spicy.

[Crystal] I need another drink.

[Christina] I think I need one, too.

Wow.