Original subtitles

♪ The sun's in the sky ♪

♪ Nothing can go wrong ♪

♪ Kiss winter goodbye ♪

♪ And sing this summer song ♪

♪ I was born here, I guess I'll stay ♪

♪ Why would I ever go away? ♪

♪ Life is a lifelong ♪

♪ Summer's day... ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪

♪ I'm gonna sing all summer long ♪

- Yay. - [whooping]

- [Jack] Thanks. - Bravo. Bravo.

Encore!

"The Summer Song."

- He just played "The Summer Song." - [snickers]

[Nick] Well, play it again then.

Or just any song with "Summer" in the title. Doesn't matter.

Uh, cheers, guys. I'm gonna take a bit of a break now and then come back.

[indistinct chatter]

[Nick] I can't believe I missed it.

[bird squawking]

[humming]

- Jack? - Sir.

How are you... enjoying the job?

Yeah, not bad. Good, thanks.

I've noticed the customers like you.

Okay, great. Yeah, well, I try to be friendly.

Unlike me. I'm increasingly finding I don't like you.

Right.

The beard gets on my nerves. What's wrong with shaving?

Yeah, no, I suppose I...

And I don't like the way you're always late,

I don't like the way you dress.

And worse, I get the feeling

you think working here is beneath you.

Oh...

But the customers like you.

So...

if you wanna go full-time, you can.

Right.

Okay. Well, yeah, great. Uh, let me think about that.

Or, here's the alternative, son.

Two weeks, you're out on your ear. Yeah. I'll give the job to dozy Karen.

[clicks tongue] Okay, great. Well, classic. Um...

Yeah, I'll get right back to you.

Good. There's someone to see you.

Make it quick. We've got stuff to sell.

[chuckles]

Do you want the good news or the bad news?

[Jack] I'm gonna have to say good news,

'cause I don't think I could take any more bad news.

Well, the good news is you're booked for Latitude Festival.

No!

Yes! Yes. It's not the biggest...

It's the Suffolk Tent.

I don't care what tent, it's Latitude! It's a proper festival!

[Ellie laughs]

[Jack] You are the best manager in the world!

Latitude!

♪ This road that I'm walking, well ♪

♪ It started young ♪

♪ I found a guitar and then it all begun ♪

♪ I found all the things I wanted to be ♪

Classic.

♪ So come take my hand ♪

♪ And rock this road with me ♪

- [crowd cheering] - ♪ Rock this road ♪

♪ I'm not gonna stop ♪

♪ Rock this road till I'm at the top ♪

♪ Rock this road, we'll do it right ♪

♪ I'm gonna rock this road tonight ♪

[children laughing, chattering]

♪ Gotta follow this winding road ♪

♪ I gotta follow wherever it goes ♪

♪ I guess I'll always carry this load ♪

♪ That's my fate ♪

♪ I rock this road ♪

[all whooping]

Uh, accept my gratitude, Latitude. [chuckles]

Uh, it's been a blast.

I thought "Dinosaur" was particularly strong.

Well, yeah, I got most of the words right.

- [chuckles] - "Hear me roar, I'm a dinosaur."

Rocky, what're you doing here?

- Rocky! Oh. - Yes!

I'm a road manager, innit?

[laughs] Oh. So everyone who said that you were

a lazy, useless, drug-taking drunk who'd never get a job were wrong.

Yes, they were actually. I'm in profitable employment.

A valued cog in a well-oiled rock machine.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Good set, though, mate.

Did you hear it? I didn't see you.

If I'm totally honest, I only popped by for a quick bong behind the tent.

- Oh. - But it was a lovely surprise to hear you.

I didn't hear much of it, to be honest, 'cause of the bong and stuff,

but yeah.

Still making sweet love to young Ellie, I see.

- No. - [laughs] No.

No, never. Not once.

That's a shame.

She's my manager.

Hey, do you wanna come backstage for our gig?

- Oh, please. - Yeah? Let's do it then.

- Let's rock this road. - All right.

So how long have you been back in Suffolk?

Oof. Well, I'm trying to live outside the traditional concept of time.

So, could be weeks, could be months, could be a year and a half, no idea.

Oh, here we are.

- [cheering] - Thank you so much.

[Jack] So what exactly do you do?

Make sure everything runs like clockwork, service the equipment.

Right.

[Rocky] Make sandwiches, make teas.

Uh... Oh, Christ.

[mutters]

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry, Michael.

You're fired.

Fair do's.

[crowd cheering]

Fired.

Give Ellie one from me, yeah?

- No, really, we don't... - Catch you later.

- [Ellie] Oh, great day. - [Jack] Yeah, great day.

Though, Elle, we should stop now. I can't do this anymore.

[scoffs] Don't be stupid. You're gonna need a bigger tent.

[imitating American accent] "You're gonna need a bigger tent."

No, okay, stop. You gotta stop pretending

that we're in a thrilling story with a big, exciting end.

We're in a little story and it ends now.

I think I hear something special in my songs,

you think you hear something special, and I love you for it,

but no one else does, no one ever has.

Uh, Nick loves "The Summer Song."

Nick is famously a world-class moron.

If it hasn't happened by now, it's not going to. It'll take a miracle.

Miracles happen.

I mean it. This is a serious moment for me.

This is just absolutely not happening.

Look, I can't be the star that we thought I could be

at 14 on that day in the school hall

when I sang a pretty cool cover of "Wonderwall"

and you were there backstage.

I'm not hearing a word.

Okay, but look... This was my last gig.

And I'm so happy you were there.

This is the end of our long and winding road.

[Ellie] Come on!

- The world is full of miracles. - [Jack] Like what?

Benedict Cumberbatch becoming a sex symbol.

- Oh... - You'll change your mind.

I won't. This is the start of a better life.

And I'm feeling perky about it.

[Jack] Mm.

Night-night, rock star.

Yeah, night-night.

[speaking Japanese]

- [grunts] - [bicycle wheel spinning]

[speaking Japanese]

Are you all right, mate?

[Jack groans]

Just a few minutes, okay?

[chuckles softly]

Can I just say one thing?

Just to...

warn you.

I've spoken with the doctor and you will walk again...

[grunts softly]

...but you have lost your beard and, um, two big teeth.

And even though it should be sad, it's actually very funny, unfortunately.

[groans softly]

So despite all the pain and inconvenience, you're not even gonna get any sympathy.

People will just laugh at you.

[chuckles] Ow.

What happened?

[sighs, chuckles] No one knows.

It was all over the world. Electricity flicked off for 12 seconds.

You were just unlucky that at that exact moment a big bus hit you.

You know the weird thing they thought was gonna happen at midnight when we hit 2000?

Oh, yeah. Y2K.

It sort of happened. It was very big news, which, um, you missed entirely

- because of the bus. Mm-hmm. - Ah.

[chuckles] Right. I've gotta get back to school.

- Elle? - Yeah?

Thanks for taking such good care of me.

You're welcome. I'll come back later.

Will you still need me, will you still feed me when I'm 64?

[Ellie laughs] I don't know. I'll think about it.

Why 64?

[Jack] What do you mean?

It's just... Oh, forget it. [chuckles]

What do you mean, "Why 64?"

[sighs]

[Ellie] I think the accident was a message from God.

- [scoffs] - Yeah, he was very angry.

Ellie, you think me getting hit by a bus

was God's way of telling me not to go back to teaching.

[laughs] Exactly. Incredible. It's amazing. God loves your stuff.

Look, if God had been remotely interested in my stuff,

he would've once, right, just once,

had someone write me a fan letter who wasn't my mum.

[snickers] Or me.

- Yeah. - [laughs]

[sighs] I didn't ask to be The Beatles, you know,

I just wanted once to have a standing ovation

not given by people who were already standing at the bar.

[chuckles] Be the what?

[siren wailing in distance]

- [Nick] Oh, my God. - [Jack] Oh, yeah.

Carol, come and look!

I know Ellie said it was funny,

but no one mentioned visual humor of this quality.

- Jack! Oh, my God! Your teeth. - [Nick groans]

- [all] Cheese! - Oh, wow.

- [laughter] - [camera clicking]

- [Ellie] Presents, presents, presents. - Yes.

It's true, we have bought you presents.

- Exciting. - Well, they have, obviously.

- Huge work week. - Yeah, yeah.

What do we have here?

[clears throat] Okay, okay, okay.

- Uh, boom! Hey! - [Ellie] Oh, wow!

- Because you lost your teeth. - Yeah, I know.

- That's why that's funny. Okay. - [laughter]

- Number two... - [Ellie laughing] Where did you get that?

- [chuckles] - 'Cause you got hit by a bus.

- Yeah, I remember. - [laughter]

- Do you? Hilarious. - Yes.

All right.

- [Ellie] One more. - [Nick] One more, yes.

I don't know what this one could possibly be.

- [Ellie] Oh, neither do I. - No idea.

[laughs]

I mean, I'm thinking some sort of snow shovel.

- Mm-hmm. - Or a... tiny little giraffe with no legs.

Open it, open it, open it.

- [Carol] Oh. - Okay.

Wow.

[Nick] 'Cause yours got run over by a bus. [chuckles]

- [Carol] Well, play something then. - [Ellie] Yes, play something.

- [Nick] Play "The Summer Song." - [Ellie] Let me get rid of this.

[Rocky laughing] Hey!

What's tickin' and tockin' and rockin'?

- Oh! - What is he doing here?

Yeah, he got sacked. He's staying with us, sleeping on the sofa.

- [Jack] That is a disaster... - [Nick] Yep.

- ...that could last forever... - That's right.

- ...and ruin your entire life. - Absolutely.

Hey, really glad you're not dead, man.

[groans]

[Carol] He's got a new guitar.

- He's gonna play a song. - Ow.

[Rocky] Epic.

A great guitar requires a great song.

♪ Yesterday ♪

♪ All my troubles seemed so far away ♪

♪ Now it seems as though They're here to stay ♪

♪ Oh, I believe in yesterday ♪

Go on.

♪ Suddenly ♪

♪ I'm not half the man I used to be ♪

♪ There's a shadow hanging over me ♪

♪ Oh, yesterday came suddenly ♪

[children laughing]

♪ Why she had to go I don't know ♪

♪ She wouldn't say ♪

♪ I said something wrong ♪

♪ Now I long for yesterday ♪

[whispering] Oh, my... What...

What the hell was that?

"Yesterday."

[exhales] That was one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard.

Yeah. It's a bit soppy, but it's sweet.

[laughing] When did you write that?

I didn't write it. Paul McCartney wrote it, The Beatles.

Who?

The Beatles.

The what?

John, Paul, George, and Ringo, The Beatles.

Which beetle is this? The insect beetles or the car Beetles?

The pop group Beatles... Nick, help me out here.

Right, yes. Um...

There's this problem with musicians.

They presume everyone else has this encyclopedic knowledge of obscure pop,

make you feel stupid when you haven't heard of bands, you know, like...

Neutral Milk Hotel, or The Monophonics, or in this case, The Beatles.

[laughter]

Wow, this is the most complicated joke I've ever heard.

[Nick] Nice song, though.

- It's not a nice song. - [Nick] No, it is, mate.

Don't do yourself down just 'cause you look like a cartoon character.

- It's a very nice song. - It's not a very nice song, Nick,

it's one of the greatest songs ever written.

Well, it's not Coldplay, it's not "Fix You."

It's not bloody "Fix You," Carol, it's a great, great work of art.

Wow, somebody suddenly got very cocky.

[Ellie] That song was exquisite. How come I've never heard it before?

Okay, I don't know what you guys are playing at,

but this is so weird and quite unfair.

In light of me having lost two teeth, looking like a sort of reverse rabbit,

I'm on pretty heavy medication.

- [scoffs] - Just let me out.

[scoffs] All right.

I thought you liked the medication.

Yeah, I do love the medication.

I really don't know what you're cross about.

[sighs]

[laughs] Jack.

[sighs]

[breathing heavily]

Oh, Christ.

No way. No way.

Okay. All right.

Mm.

[laughs] Okay. [clears throat]

Oh, you are having me on.

B, B, B...

Bowie, Beck, Beach Boys...

No, stop it.

Oh, fuck off! No!

Let's try...

Good. Still rolling.

Oh, thank God. God bless you, Donald.

No. Okay, let's just...

[groans]

Well, that figures.

Elle!

- [gasps, exhales] - [knocking]

[whispers] Jack.

What...

Do you genuinely not know who The Beatles are?

Genuinely.

Okay. Then I'm in a really, really, really complicated situation.

See you soon.

Nice pajamas.

[groans]

Jack! [chuckles]

Christ. I don't even know if I can remember the words to the songs. Okay.

"Eleanor Rigby...

"Eleanor Rigby lives in a church in a room where the wedding..." No.

"Eleanor Rigby darning her socks in the... In a room where..." No, does she...

Does she have...

Does she have socks?

[exhales sharply]

Am I gonna do this?

Can I do this?

- Yeah. - Four and one.

Four and one. Beautiful. That's music to my ears.

Right, now what is our common factor...

[student] Miss, there's someone at the window.

- Sorry? - [students] The window. The window.

- [Ellie] Um... - [students laughing]

Yes, right. Can you all just give me just one second?

If there's any more factors of, um, 18, I want to hear 'em.

- Yes? - I may do one more gig.

I think I may have got some, like, new songs.

[male student] Is that your boyfriend, miss?

[students whooping]

No! Enough! He's not my boyfriend!

- [male student] What's his name? - [Ellie] Enough.

♪ Back in school again Maxwell plays the fool again ♪

♪ Teacher gets annoyed ♪ Yes, another one!

Your boyfriend's left you, miss.

[laughter]

[male student] Awkward!

[laughter]

You're right, that was very awkward, but let's keep going.

- [forklift beeping] - ♪ He's a real nowhere man ♪

♪ Sitting in his nowhere land ♪

[groans] What did he do there, though?

♪ Woke up, fell out of bed ♪

- ♪ Dragged a... na-na across my head ♪ - [knocking]

- [woman] Whoo-hoo! - Yep.

Oh. Sure those Post-it notes aren't gonna mark the wallpaper?

Eh, that's not exactly my top priority at the moment.

Well, your top priority should be getting yourself some new teeth.

[clicks tongue] Oh.

I brought you a Pepsi.

Have we not got any Coke?

What?

Coca-Cola?

I don't know what you're saying. Come downstairs if you're hungry.

Gotcha.

Do you reckon you could, like, make 'em look,

you know, better than before?

It's just I'm hoping to relaunch my music thing and...

I'm a dentist, Jack, not a magician.

Let's try the red.

Your dad was my first ever patient.

I only survived because of people like him. That's right.

I only coped... Clamp.

...with a little help from my friends.

[Jack laughing]

Eh. [exhales sharply]

- [keys jingle] - So, um...

I thought we'd agreed.

Yeah, well, we had, Dad, but I've got a bunch of new songs

and I thought people might like to hear 'em.

Huh. Well, uh...

why don't you play one for us?

Okay. You sure?

Yeah, of course.

Me and your dad love hearing your things. Don't we, darling?

- We do. - Okay. Okay, good.

[muttering]

Okay. Ooh.

Okay. Right, this is called...

"Let It Be."

♪ When I find myself in times of trouble ♪

♪ Mother Mary comes to me ♪

- ♪ Speaking... ♪ - [doorbell rings]

Oh. Oh. Sorry, love. I'll get it.

Good start, though. Very pretty.

- Terry, come in, love. - Oh, hello, Sheila. Nice to see you.

Oh. It's Terry!

- Oh, Terry. Hey. - Hello. Hey.

Jack's just playing us a new song.

Oh, really? I thought he'd given up.

Yeah, no. Well, he's got some new songs. What's this one called?

- "Leave It Be." - "Let It Be."

Oh, excellent. Well, rock on, Jack.

Well, it's not very rocky, but...

[clears throat]

♪ When I find myself In times of trouble... ♪

- Would you like a drink, Terry? - Dad.

Well, I'd already heard that bit.

Sorry, Jack. Your dad's a rude man.

- Yeah, I'll get a beer, please, Jed. - Excellent. Right. [grunts]

Carry on, Jacko. I'll be back.

- Can I get it in a glass? - [Jed] Glass it is.

[clears throat] Is everyone else settled?

- Yeah, yeah. Yeah. - Yes.

Hurry it up, darling, you're losing the crowd.

- Okay. - [chuckles]

♪ When I find myself in times of trouble ♪

- ♪ Mother Mary comes to me... ♪ - [phone ringing]

Oh, sorry. Sorry, Jack, that's me. Sorry, my fault.

- Oh, it's Marge. - [Sheila] Oh. [chuckles]

Hello, love. I'm just at Jed and Sheila's house,

listening to Jack's new song "Let Him Be."

- "Let It Be." - "Let It Be."

No, well, apparently he's started up again.

Yeah.

Uh, yeah, I know.

I know.

I know.

Yeah, I know.

- I know. - What do you know?

Listen, I'll call you back when it's over, all right?

Oh, all right then. Yeah, okay. See you in a minute.

Right. Carry on broadcasting, young man.

Maybe start after the first bit. I've heard it three times now.

- If it's okay, I'm gonna go from the top. - Please yourself, son.

Then maybe we can have "Summer Song."

[discordant notes play]

Christ, this is "Let It Be"!

You're the first people on Earth to hear this song.

This is like watching da Vinci paint the Mona Lisa

right in front of your bloody eyes.

Can you not just be quiet for a single second?

- [doorbell rings] - Oh, that will be Marge.

- Oh, Marjorie. I'll put the kettle on. - She said she was gonna come round.

- Hi. - Hello.

- Hello, love. - Hi.

- Come in, come in. - Well, that went well.

- Oh, that's good coffee. - Good.

[Jack] This is a new song I've just written.

♪ Oh, yeah, I'll tell you somethin' ♪

♪ I think you'll understand ♪

- [balloon pops] - [gasps]

- [children shouting, laughing] - ♪ When I say that somethin' ♪

♪ I want to hold your hand ♪

[balloon pops]

♪ Whisper words of wisdom ♪

♪ Let it be ♪

[inhales sharply]

[indistinct chatter]

[indistinct chatter in the distance]

Excuse me.

- Yeah. - Um, are you the manager?

Uh-huh.

I'm Gavin.

[panting] Hey.

You okay?

It's me, that's the problem. That's the awful truth, the revelation.

I know the songs are strong, but no one's interested still.

Jack Malik's the problem.

- [Ellie] That's not true. - It is.

I just don't have the "it" that's the difference between Jay-Z and...

- [scoffs] Jay-Y. - [chuckles]

Well, then how do you explain this?

You're gonna be a recording artist, Mr. Malik.

♪ Because she loves you ♪

- ♪ And you know that can't be bad ♪ - [Ellie squeals]

I'd be very happy to help. For free.

My studio at your service.

Gavin, you're cool.

Am I?

♪ She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ And with a love like that ♪

♪ You know you should be glad ♪

- ♪ With a love like that ♪ - [train horn blows]

♪ You know you should... ♪

[windows rattling]

♪ Be glad ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

Yes, yes, yes, we've got it! Yes, we have reached the mountaintop!

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! ♪

Do you like it, Gavin?

I absolutely love it, Ellie.

[sighs] Jack, you got any more songs?

One or two.

♪ Oh, yeah, I'll tell you somethin' ♪

♪ I think you'll understand ♪

♪ When I say that somethin' ♪

♪ I want to hold your hand ♪

♪ Now, let me hold your hand ♪

♪ I want to hold your hand ♪

♪ And when I touch you ♪

♪ I feel happy inside ♪

- ♪ It's such a feelin' that my love ♪ - [laughs]

♪ I can't hide ♪

[laughing]

♪ Well, she was just 17 ♪

♪ You know what I mean ♪

♪ And the way she looked ♪

♪ Was way beyond compare ♪

Whoo!

♪ She wouldn't dance with another ♪

- Whoo! - ♪ Oh ♪

♪ When I saw her standing there ♪

Have a listen.

Hi. Exciting.

How much?

Oh, no charge. Uh, it's free with any purchase.

Songs with your Snickers, music with your multi-packs.

- Oh, thank you. - Tunes with your chunks of cheddar cheese.

Jack?

[man] And here's a lovely little story.

Jack, you work in the wholesale warehouse in Lowestoft,

and we hear, members of the retail trade have been getting a free CD

along with their jumbo boxes of Nescafé and washing powder.

- That's right. - But you're gonna sing us a new song now.

So here's Jack Malik, the singing wholesaler, "In My Life."

♪ But of all these friends and lovers ♪

♪ There is no one ♪

♪ Compares with you ♪

♪ And these memories lose their meaning ♪

♪ When I think of love as something new ♪

♪ Though I know I'll never lose affection ♪

♪ For people and things that went before ♪

♪ I know I'll often stop and think about them ♪

♪ In my life ♪

♪ I love you more ♪

Beautiful. No mention of jumbo-sized Fairy Liquid, but nice work.

You ever thought about doing a wholesale-based song?

Not really, no.

You could call it "In My Warehouse" instead of "In My Life."

Now, time to find out what's happening in Kerry's kitchen. [chuckles]

G'day, everyone. It's Kerry here.

[laughing]

I could've written every song of The Rolling Stones or David Bowie,

I'll always just be Lowestoft's warbling warehouseman.

Oh, no. Don't. That's not true.

So obviously is.

That song was really beautiful. Who did you write it about?

Stop here, stop the car.

[tires screech]

- Elle... - Hmm?

- These songs... - Mm?

There's something about 'em you should know.

[phone ringing]

Oh.

- Hi. - Hi, it's Ed Sheeran.

- I beg your pardon? - Ed Sheeran. I'm a musician.

Yeah, no. Seriously, though, who is it?

This must be a bad line. I'll call you back.

Who was it?

He said it was Ed Sheeran, the musician.

[scoffs] That'll be Nick.

[phone ringing]

Nick.

No, it's Ed Sheeran again.

Yeah, can I speak to Carol, please?

No one called Carol here.

Except there is. She's always there.

Okay, mate... I'll leave it there.

Amazing performance tonight on TV.

That song, "In My Life," that was really beautiful.

What did he say?

He said he really enjoyed "In My Life."

[scoffs] And what did Carol say?

She wasn't there.

[chuckles] She's always there.

I think it might've been Ed Sheeran.

The musician?

[music box playing]

[doorbell rings]

[man] Hi.

- Hello. - I'm Ed.

Um, is Jack here?

Oh, right, I'll see if he's up. Just wait there, love.

Jack!

It's for you.

- [Jack] Who is it? - His name's Ed.

He's got a nice, friendly face. [chuckles]

Hi.

[chuckling] Hi.

Uh, come in.

Your shirt's inside out.

Oh, Christ.

Uh, we should...

[Ed] Ouch.

So, uh, look, I'm sorry to barge in like this.

No. Major pop stars are always dropping round, you know.

Lady Gaga won't leave us alone.

[chuckles] You're funny.

Well, funny-looking, at least.

Yeah, so anyway, I live locally, and I saw your song on TV.

And it was really good.

- Wow. - So I Googled you,

and I listened to your songs on the warehouse website,

and they were even better.

Gosh, thanks.

All right. Don't mind me.

So I've had the support act drop out of the European leg of the tour

and I was wondering if you'd consider it.

Consider what?

- Yeah... - Being the opening act.

For you, seriously?

- [Jed] No. - Yeah, why not?

[chuckles] When will I start?

Tuesday.

[sighing] Do you know where the pickle is?

- No. - No.

What, Tuesday, not next July?

No, Tuesday. Is your hearing all right?

[chuckling] No, my hearing's fine.

It's just, you keep saying lots of really strange things,

but yes, yes, thank you, yes. Um...

How long do you need?

[Ed] About 30 minutes, maximum.

Any more than that, people start getting a bit restless.

You know, "Bring on the ginger geezer."

[laughs] Get in!

Night.

- Night. - Night. Nice to meet you.

You look like Ed Sheeran, you know?

I am Ed Sheeran.

All right. Well done.

- Light show? - Preferably not, no.

That's good, 'cause I've only got the torch on my phone, so...

Have you got any beer?

- Uh, cider. - Cider works.

[chuckles] Okay.

I'll have a cider with the man that wrote "Yesterday."

Yeah.

Mum, Dad, who drunk all the cider?

[Ellie] That is nuts!

Yeah. As you said, it's nutty and he's absolutely covered in tattoos.

Nice dressing gown, by the way.

No, it's not. No.

- [laughing] - Don't... Don't start.

It looked so good online, so I just ordered it,

and the most disgusting pink thing in history turns up.

Meanwhile, you need a new roadie tomorrow.

What do you mean? You're not coming?

[scoffs] No, of course not. I'm, you know, a schoolteacher. I teach maths.

I can't suddenly manage Ed Sheeran's support act.

Yeah, maybe you can, though.

Um...

Yeah, well, I certainly can't do it this Tuesday,

'cause we've got a parent-teachers' evening at 6:45.

And although I like you, I...

I don't like you enough to let down the whole of year ten.

- Right, okay. - Sorry.

Lucy, Ellie's resigned from her post.

Do you fancy being my roadie in Moscow on Tuesday?

Sorry. Would love to, but we've got rehearsals for the school play.

- [Ellie] Mm-hmm. - Okay. Let's think Plan C.

- Oh, no. - What?

I've had an idea. It's a very bad idea.

[all laughing]

- [air hostess] Welcome aboard. - Hey. Ooh.

How you doing, man?

Hey! Here he is.

- Hey. - Hello, Mr. Sheeran. My name's Rocky.

You can call me whatever you like. "Handsome" always works well.

[laughs] No, only kidding there. Just call me Rocky.

Nice to meet you, Rocky. Jack, you and Rocky are at the back there.

And listen, um, tonight, it's small and intimate, don't worry.

- Nothing to be worried about. - Okay.

- Cool. - All right.

- Love your work, man. - Thank you.

Specially the rapping.

- Really? - Nah, I'm only kidding.

[chuckling]

Nah, leave it to the brothers, that'd be my advice.

Gingers and rap,

sounds a bit crap.

Well, you may be right, enjoy your flight.

[laughing] Here he is! Wait a minute! All right. Um...

I think it'll be neat if I take my seat.

Boom. Victory.

[Rocky beatboxing]

♪ Gonna fly... ♪

[air hostess] Champagne?

Oh, yes, please.

- Thank you. - Champagne, sir?

Have you got Coke?

Sorry?

Oh, right, yeah. Pepsi, please.

Of course, sir.

[crowd cheering]

♪ Back in the US, back in the US ♪

♪ Back in the USSR ♪

♪ Well, the Ukraine girls Really knock me out ♪

♪ They leave the West behind ♪

♪ And the Moscow girls Make me sing and shout ♪

♪ Georgia's always on my Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mind ♪

All right, Moscow!

[cheering]

♪ Whoo-oo-oo ♪

Sing it with me.

♪ Whoo-oo-oo ♪

Louder than that.

♪ Whoo-oo-oo ♪

Louder.

♪ Whoo-oo-oo ♪

♪ Whoo-oo-oo ♪

♪ Whoo-oo-oo ♪

♪ Whoo-oo-oo, whoo-oo-oo ♪

♪ Whoo-oo-oo, whoo-oo-oo ♪

♪ Back in the USSR ♪

♪ You don't know how lucky you are, boys ♪

♪ Back in the USSR ♪

- [cheering, whistling] - [music stops]

Cheers.

[emcee] Okay, Moscow!

It was Jack Malik!

And are you ready for Ed Sheeran?

On a three-hour plane journey, without a guitar?

Yeah.

'Cause I thought we were going to Russia, so I should write a song about Russia.

Yeah, I just thought it was really cool that you called it USSR.

You know, it probably stopped being called that before you were born.

Yeah.

[man] Amazing, man. Loved that USSR track.

[chuckles] Thanks.

Right, I've got an idea.

Everyone, I think we can all agree

that we're impressed with Jack's songwriting talent, right?

[whooping]

So here's the plan. I'm gonna go out that door,

Jack's gonna go out this door,

and whoever writes the best song in ten minutes wins.

[cheering]

[Rocky] What's the prize?

No prize. Just being the best songwriter.

Jack "Back In the USSR" Malik, are you in?

- Okay. - Okay.

And it can't be anything you've written before.

Nothing in your bottom drawer. It has to be new tonight.

- Right. - Cool. Fun.

I still think there should be a prize, Ed.

With all his money, he could afford a tenner.

[guitar playing]

[Rocky] Ladies and gentlemen,

we are gathered here tonight to witness an epic battle.

In the blue corner, Sir Ed Sheeran.

[cheering]

♪ Broken hearts can find a love To make them whole anywhere ♪

♪ She said we are penguins on the ice ♪

♪ We're not meant to fly But God knows we can try ♪

♪ Well, I see a hope that's in your eyes ♪

♪ Well, can you see the love in mine? ♪

[cheering]

[Rocky] And now, the soon-to-be-defeated Mr. Jack Malik.

♪ The long and winding road ♪

♪ That leads to your door ♪

♪ Will never disappear ♪

♪ I've seen that road before ♪

♪ It always leads me here ♪

♪ Lead me to your door ♪

♪ Many times I've been alone ♪

♪ And many times I've cried ♪

♪ Any way you'll never know ♪

♪ The many ways I've tried ♪

♪ But still they lead me back ♪

♪ To the long ♪

♪ And winding road ♪

♪ You left me standing here ♪

♪ A long, long time ago ♪

♪ Don't leave me waiting here ♪

♪ Lead me to your door ♪

[music stops]

[cheering, whooping]

So, the vote!

Nope, no vote. No vote.

No. That was, uh, an interesting moment.

I was always told that there would be

someone who came along that was a lot better than me,

and you are definitely better than me, Jack.

Yeah, wow, that was one of the best songs I've heard in my life.

I mean, these things are complicated.

[chuckles] Yeah, obviously not complicated for you, though, right?

I think I'm gonna go to bed.

Someone should probably shag him while they have the chance.

- [laughter] - Yeah.

You're definitely Mozart, mate, and I'm definitely Salieri.

Night, Jack.

Hi.

I'm Debra Hammer. I'm Ed's manager.

We should talk.

Yeah, well, I mean, I've kinda got a manager back home,

but no, we should talk, yeah. [chuckles]

Okay, great. That's great.

Uh... Good. Have a good night. I'll see you in Los Angeles.

In Los Angeles?

Yeah, well, we need you to come to LA.

See, we pay, and then you come, and you write songs,

and then we release them, and you make a ton of money,

and then we take most of it. [laughing]

Okay.

I have a question. Is this the best that you can look?

We'll figure it out.

Gorgeous.

[crowd chanting] Ellie, Ellie, Ellie!

Well, in my capacity as Jack's former musical mentor

/manager/roadie/driver, 'cause he can't even drive. [chuckles]

- [all jeering] - Loser! Loser!

I did try to teach you!

Honestly, no, you can have the job back.

- No, thanks. - [groans]

Why would anyone ever leave Suffolk before the day they die?

[cheering]

Right, but if you must go to Los Angeles,

and hang out with perverts and drug addicts...

- [Jack] I must. - Then we wish you good luck and success.

Or even better, failure and a swift return.

[all] Failure and a swift return!

[cheering]

[Ellie grunts softly]

Will you miss me, Jack?

Of course I'll miss you. Hey.

Of course I'll miss you.

You're leaving, so I can ask you anything.

[sighs]

How did I get in the wrong column?

How did I get in the friend, manager, roadie column...

instead of the "And I Love Her" column?

[knocking at door]

Come on. If you don't come downstairs soon,

your mum will be too drunk to make her speech.

- [Sheila] Jack! - Coming, Ellie-wellie?

Yeah.

[Sheila] Come on down, my baby bunny, we miss you!

- Jack! - Jack!

Oh, God. Are those definitely columns?

[chuckles, sniffles]

A girl can certainly tell the difference.

- [Sheila] Jack! - It...

Actually, seriously, it is getting a bit grim,

so you may wanna, uh, uh, come down.

- [man] Come on down, Jack! - [Sheila] Come on!

- [man] We miss you! - [overlapping chatter]

- [all] Jack! - [indistinct shouting]

Wow, Ellie.

Big news on a big night.

[Rocky] Jack, get down here!

- Jack! - Jack!

[man] Come on!

[exhales]

[chanting] Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack...

[sighing]

[cheering]

♪ Here comes the sun Doo-doo-doo-doo ♪

♪ Here comes the sun, and I say ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

Get it! Oh!

- [laughs] Oh, oh, oh! - ♪ Sun, sun, sun ♪

♪ Here it comes ♪

♪ Sun, sun, sun, here it comes ♪

[Rocky] Ladies.

♪ Sun, sun, sun, here it comes ♪

Jack Malik. [chuckles]

Welcome to my little beach shack.

[chuckles] Thank you for coming all this way.

Good to see you.

- Well... - [chuckles]

- ...you're not very attractive. - No.

- You are out of shape. - Yes.

- You are skinny, yet somehow round. - Uh-huh.

You have been profoundly unsuccessful for ten years...

- Yep. - ...and until about a month ago,

we'd call you a complete failure.

Well, that's not quite how I'd put it, but...

- We would say you were a complete failure. - Yeah.

Sit, please. But now...

[clears throat]

...now you've hit an extraordinary songwriting groove,

and you wanna be the biggest star in the world.

- Well... - "Yes" is the answer to that question.

Well, yes, I guess.

Not "Well, yes, I guess." "Yes."

I guess.

[chuckles]

Buddy, what I'm offering you

is the great and glorious poisoned chalice of money and fame.

If you don't wanna drink it, which I would understand,

go back and have a warm beer in little, bonny England.

If you do wanna drink it, I need to hear you say,

"Debra, I'm so thirsty. Give me the goddamn chalice."

So which is it?

I'll take the chalice.

♪ You're asking me will my love grow ♪

♪ I don't know ♪

♪ Stick around now, it may show ♪

♪ I don't know ♪

- [applause] - Yeah. I'm feeling that.

Okay, what's next?

Um, it's called "A Hard Day's Night."

All right. What does that mean?

Um, I'm not quite sure yet.

[man laughs] Okay, we're rolling when you're ready.

Stop. Stop. Something's missing.

The guitar has to gently weep more.

[electric guitar playing]

That's it! That's my baby. Yes!

- Yeah? - Yes!

♪ I'm gonna sing this summer song ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪

♪ I'm gonna sing all summer long ♪

Okay. The first one...

- "Here Comes the Sun." - Yeah. Yeah. That's amazing.

- Whoo. - [clears throat]

And the second one...

- My personal favorite. - "The Summer Song."

"The Summer Song."

That is... It's simple without being charming.

I'm struggling to find the words.

I hated it,

but I wasn't interested in it enough to listen to it again to find out why.

Yeah, bin it.

Yeah. Reject.

Thank you, Rocky.

[can opens]

[Jack] At times like this, I wish I hadn't given up smoking.

I could just murder a cigarette.

Yeah.

What's a cigarette?

What?

[scoffs]

Wow.

Uh... Oh, yes. Jack, this is Hilary.

She's gonna be working with you on your image.

Do I have to have an image?

Well, if you don't have an image, then the lack of image becomes an image.

- Right. - And the music sounds so joyful.

It would be a shame to let it down by you being so... off-putting.

Mm-hmm.

I can see how you two might be friends.

[laughs]

Yeah, yeah. Okay, here's the plan.

We're gonna take the five best songs, we'll put them online.

All right? No visuals. Just the music.

The enigma of Jack Malik.

And then we wait until we've fixed all of this

and we release an astonishing,

era-defining double album

that changes popular music forever.

♪ Boy, you're gonna carry that weight ♪

♪ Carry that weight a long time ♪

♪ Boy, you're gonna carry that weight ♪

♪ Carry that weight a long time ♪

[speaking Portuguese]

[man 1] Hashtag Jack Malik, hashtag "She Loves You."

[man 2] I always knew he was a star. Right from the start.

We were very much neck-and-neck in the earlier days.

We were both entertainers.

[overlapping speakers, foreign languages]

[reporter] The producer of the now-famous Warehouse tapes, Gavin.

Absolutely and utterly the best moment of my life.

[man 3] Basically, we seem to be talking about the Shakespeare of pop music.

These songs, there's only five of them, but they break new ground.

We've never heard anything like this before.

We want more. More songs. More, more, more, more, more.

[overlapping chatter]

♪ Eleanor Rigby sits in the church ♪

♪ In the night Where the wedding has been... ♪

No.

♪ Look at her working ♪

♪ Darning her socks in the night When the... ♪

There's rice in there somewhere.

Picks up the rice, picks up the rice, picks up the rice.

♪ Picks up the rice in the church Where a wedding has been ♪

♪ Lives in a dream ♪

[groans] Where does she darn the bloody socks?

Father McKenzie, Father McKenzie!

♪ Father McKenzie Darning his socks in the night... ♪

♪ Darning his socks... Dar... ♪

[groans] Oh, God. When are we gonna get to all the lonely people?

♪ All the lonely people Where do they all... ♪

[sighs]

I need to go to Liverpool as soon as possible.

I think it could be inspiring.

Do you want me to tell you the name of 50 places on Earth

more inspiring than Liverpool?

- Starting with Shitsville, USA. - No, thank you.

Would you like me to tell you the reasons that you can't go next week?

Like having lunch with Ernesto,

the head of Universal Music, on whom your life depends.

Like actually finishing the damn album.

Like picking the damn name for the damn album.

Like doing the damn videos for the damn album, damn it.

Okay, I will be back by Saturday.

- Friday... - [groans]

Friday is you on The Late Late Show With James Corden

and Saturday is the major marketing meeting of meetings.

Friday, you are presented to the world. Saturday, you are crowned.

Okay, Friday. Is it actually called the major marketing meeting of meetings?

Yes, it's actually called that. Yes.

What does Liverpool have that LA doesn't?

Mo Salah, Cilla Black, mushy peas, rain.

Ah. Home, sweet home.

- Rocky, you're not from Liverpool, mate. - No. Never been here before.

[crowd screaming] Jack!

Oh, my God.

[screaming continues]

[Rocky] How did they know we were here?

In. In, in.

Drive! Drive!

[screaming]

- [woman] Wait, Jack! - [man] I loved your song, mate!

[driver] Here you go, guys. Strawberry Fields.

♪ Let me take you down ♪

[humming]

[Rocky] Now we're at Penny Lane. What distinguishes it from any other lane?

[Jack] Just show some respect.

[Rocky] For what exactly?

"Also Eleanor Rigby,

the beloved wife of Thomas Woods."

Yeah. Friend?

- Relative? - Shh.

♪ Eleanor Rigby... ♪

[Rocky] I always liked graveyards. I lost my virginity in one actually.

♪ All the lonely people ♪

♪ Where do they all belong? ♪

♪ Eleanor Rigby ♪

♪ Picks up the rice in the church Where the wedding has been ♪

Yes!

♪ Lives in a dream ♪

♪ Father McKenzie, writing the words Of a sermon that no one will hear ♪

♪ No one comes near ♪

Oh, come on. He's on fire.

Fireman! There's a fireman in Penny Lane! Jesus.

- [phone ringing] - Oh.

- What? - [woman] I'm sorry to disturb you,

- you've got someone downstairs for you. - What, really?

[indistinct chatter]

What are you doing here?

[stifled exhale] I was just passing by.

- You live 370 miles away. - Yeah. You're right. Um...

I... [laughs] I just... I thought it might be nice to see you.

[chuckles] What are you doing here?

Uh... It's research.

It's, like, a music industry thing. Yeah.

This is so great. Um...

[laughs]

- Are you hungry? - As a big horse!

[Ellie] Oh, it feels like you've been gone forever.

- [Jack] How are Nick and Carol? - Very unhappy.

Excellent. I wouldn't know how to relate to them if they actually got on.

[both laugh]

I miss you.

I miss you.

[waiter clears throat]

Yes. [clears throat]

I am gonna have fish and chips.

But I'm on a diet...

- [chuckles] - ...so salad instead of the fries.

I'll have the grilled salmon, and again, with the salad, no fries.

- Anything else? - Maybe just a side of fries.

- Yeah, make that two, and lots more beers. - Thanks.

I guess the girls are falling over themselves

to sleep with you now you're a famous musician.

I'm not famous.

No. Not yet.

Although there was one Russian.

That's nice. Was she stocky?

- Fairly stocky, yeah. - [laughs]

Bar's closing. Can I get you anything else?

- [Jack] No, thanks. - Maybe just a couple of brandies.

[Jack] And lots of chocolates.

What are we gonna do when they throw us out?

I was thinking, lots of ketamine...

- Mm. - ...and then,

wandering the streets of Liverpool singing songs we don't know the lyrics of,

very loudly.

[exhales]

You've changed. [chuckles]

[laughing, shouting]

Hello?

Whoo!

So where's your room?

Oh, definitely, definitely not on this floor.

- [humming] - [laughs]

[both vocalizing]

[both chuckling]

[gulping]

[vocalizing]

[chuckles]

- [exhales] Long pause. - Yeah.

Have I messed up massively?

Meaning what?

- Going away... - Oh, no. God, no.

What was the alternative?

It was the most wonderful and exciting thing in the world.

[chuckles softly]

[whispers] Can I maybe turn out the light?

Maybe.

Mistake?

Probably.

Oh, my God, you touched my bottom.

[both laugh]

You've never done that before.

Well, I imagine we're gonna have to do a lot of things we've never done before.

Are you sure?

What about you?

- I asked first. - I really don't know.

Oh, okay.

So, maybe no.

- No? - Um...

It's certainly not a mistake coming up to Liverpool, certainly...

um, a lovely evening, but I think probably it's...

- [sighs] It's a mistake to go further. - Okay.

I have a room of my own, and...

And I think, um...

a one-night stand would be...

a strange new column for me to be in, Jack.

Maybe it wouldn't be a one-night stand.

When are you going back to America?

- Tomorrow. - So that's one night.

It's the dictionary definition of a one-night stand and...

And it's not for me.

[door closes]

♪ I said maybe ♪

♪ You're gonna be the one that saves me ♪

♪ And after all ♪

♪ You're my wonderwall... ♪

[alarm ringing]

[gasping]

Rocky!

- Rocky, get up. Let's go! - What? What? What?

- We've got to find Ellie. - I know where she is.

- Where? - In Suffolk, mate.

No, she's not. She's in Liverpool, you numpty.

Really? That's a coincidence.

Do you have a guest, Ellie Appleton?

- [stammers] - Uh, yeah,

we just ordered her a taxi to the station.

Oh, Christ.

Uh, thank you very much.

[panting] Okay, double our chances, you go that way, I'll go this way.

- Whoever gets there first, stops her. - Okay.

- [Jack] There you are. - It's that way. It's that way.

I really hope she's right there.

I'm dying.

- Ellie. Elle. - Oh, my God.

I hope she's worth it, mate.

- [groans] - Where's the...

Does anyone know what platform goes to London?

- Six. - Eight.

[woman] No, it's definitely six.

[man] Oh, yeah, no, it's six. It's definitely six, sorry.

[yells]

Yes, yes. No, no, no. No!

- [coughing] - Come on, go.

- [line ringing] - [coughs]

Come on, pick up. Pick up.

[Ellie] Hello?

[panting] Oh. Yes! I...

I came after you, but I missed the train.

I'm sorry. We need to talk.

Let's talk.

- Where are you? - Right behind you.

Having a cheese-and-tomato baguette and a packet of crisps.

[laughs]

[Rocky] Jack, would it be annoying of me to point out

we should be heading for the airport?

- How long have we got? - In real terms, minus an hour.

[panting] Okay... [exhales]

Rocky, this is completely not a conversation you're part of.

- Of course it's not. No, deeply private. - Yeah.

With your future happiness at stake. Did you two sleep together last night?

- No. - No.

What a waste! Well, anyway, I'll keep an eye on the clock.

You've got precisely four minutes.

- [both] So. - [phone chimes]

Um...

It's about last night.

[sighs] What about it?

Well, it was almost quite a moment.

And I woke up and I panicked, and I wanted to talk.

Okay, then talk.

Right, so, um...

[sighs]

'Cause we, uh...

- How do you think it's going so far? - It's not great, but...

No. Let me try and help.

[exhales] You've had 20 years to make your move.

I couldn't exactly make my move when I was seven.

[stammers] Then you've had ten years.

Right, but we've always been like brother and sister.

And it's very bad indeed for...

for brothers and sisters to have sex.

Except we're not brother and sister.

- No, exactly right, but... - No, so...

[exhales] I have been waiting half my life for you to wake up and love me.

Having loved you for half a lifetime,

I realized when you left that I had made a bad choice doing that.

And now it's got even trickier, because...

[chuckles]...when you were playing in pubs, we were the perfect match.

But now...

I... [sighs]

I'm an actual schoolteacher in actual Lowestoft,

and you're the world's greatest singer-songwriter.

- No, I'm not. - Except that you probably are.

Okay, two minutes, ladies and gentlemen. Two minutes.

Also, um, Debra's on my phone for you.

Apparently she's having dinner with the head of the label

and you're meant to be FaceTiming in.

- Just go away, Rocky. - Okay. One minute 53.

In the end, to you, I'll always really just be Ellie with the frizzy hair.

Ellie from the "fun chum" column.

Ellie who, for reasons no one understands,

drives you around in her car. [chuckles]

So just go and please just catch your plane. [sniffles]

We haven't finished the conversation.

Well... we have.

We have.

Unless...

in Liverpool Lime Street at 11:14 on a Friday...

[breathes shakily] ...unless you choose to stay.

[Debra over phone] Jack!

Jack, you have to get on the plane. What are you still doing in Liverpool?

I can't stay today.

I've gotta do The Late Late Show tomorrow,

and I've gotta do the marketing meeting of meetings, it's ridiculous.

And that was your chance.

[chuckles] Now quick, go, please. Leave.

Sorry.

Do you mind if I nick a couple of crisps for the journey?

I want you to be happy and to make marvelous music.

I always have.

- No! Not all the crisps! - Okay.

Just go, go, go.

Your future is out the door and to the left, a taxi rank.

[Jack] I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

[man] Okay. Welcome to the major marketing meeting of meetings.

So amazing to have Jack himself right here in the building.

- Give it up for Jack, y'all. - [cheering and applause]

Now, uh, Jack, I do believe I speak for everyone in attendance today when I say...

[whistles, chuckles] ...it is the climax of our careers

to be working on this mind-bending album with you.

Give it up, y'all.

[cheering]

[man] Yeah!

You don't have to clap every time, but thanks very much.

- [laughter] - Mr. Modesty!

- Give it up for modesty. - No, seriously.

That's what he does, right off the top. [chuckles]

Now, as you all know, the songs we released online

have created unprecedented excitement.

- [cheering] - Yeah!

No.

So, now upon us falls the mighty task

of packaging everything together into one single, irresistible album.

Now, Jack came up with some title suggestions himself

and... [chuckles] we worked on some of those.

You know, I especially got a kick out of...

Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band.

- [laughter] - Yeah, that's... [chuckles]

It's okay to laugh, 'cause it's funny.

- [laughter continues] - It is. It's a lot of words, Jack.

But ultimately, in the end, we just felt it was, uh... too confusing.

- [crowd] Hmm. - All right? Too confusing.

And, uh, The White Album...

has some diversity issues.

How?

That's a lot of white, Jack.

And I know you were pretty enthusiastic about Abbey Road.

I gotta say, it didn't have a lot going for it.

If I could put it to you like that. Uh...

It's just a road with a bunch of people driving down the wrong side of the street.

- [chuckles] - [laughter]

That's not exactly what I meant.

But we've been developing some ideas of our own now, you know?

We weren't just sitting around.

We focused on the one thing that makes this man here

unlike anyone else in the entire world of music today.

No collaborators, no cowriters.

No samples, no steals. Hmm?

No "featuring Cardi B."

No "featuring Bieber."

Just the simple, pure genius...

of One Man Only.

- [gasping] - [chattering]

Mmm-mmm-mmm. And as a second wave,

because of the miracle that is One Man Only...

it's just this.

- [crowd gasping] - Just this.

- Mmm-mmm. I know, I know. - [applause]

So let Operation Jack begin!

- [cheering] - Each week, a new song online.

Each week, a new TV show.

We start with Corden, then we move to Kimmel,

then Fallon, then Colbert,

and then Thursday Night Live! Whoo!

Song, song, song. Show, show, show. Boom, bang, bazillions.

Now let's go make so much money that by this time next Christmas,

we are wiping our asses with solid gold toilet paper!

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the one, the only, Mr. Jack Malik!

[audience cheering]

[Corden] Jack, I'm such a fan. It's great to meet you.

Thank you for being here.

The songs of yours that I've heard, they are... they are amazing.

What's life like for you at the moment right now?

I mean, the expectation for the album is just rising to insane levels, isn't it?

Yeah, well, they're insane to me.

I mean, who here's excited about this album?

- Listen to that. - [audience cheering]

In this age of sometimes 16 people writing on one song,

suddenly, here's a guy,

him and a guitar, and he writes everything himself on his own.

Yeah, I mean... You know, that's how it always used to be, though,

with, like, James Taylor, or Stevie Wonder, Bruce Springsteen.

So, I don't think it's that exceptional.

But is it just you?

Well, yes. [chuckles]

But is it?

[audience laughing]

[scoffs] Well, yes. Yes, it is.

Excellent. Because as chance would have it, and do forgive me,

because we love a surprise on this show.

As chance would darn well have it, I've got two men backstage

who claim that the songs are theirs.

[audience murmuring]

In fact, they say that all of your tunes

are the work of their band, The Beatles.

[audience gasping]

I... I don't know...

[chuckles] I don't...

Well, let's see how this plays out, shall we?

Ladies and gentlemen, all the way from Liverpool, England,

please welcome Mr. Paul McCartney and Mr. Ringo Starr!

[audience cheering]

♪ Na, na-na, na-na-na-na ♪

♪ Na-na-na-na ♪

♪ Hey, Jude ♪

[Debra] Hey.

Bang me backwards over a Buick.

It's going to be the greatest album of all time.

It's really incredible, man.

- Hey, Ed. - How you doing?

Um, I'm just in town for a couple of days. I thought I'd come see the genius at work.

I'm just trying to work out your process. Is it music first or lyrics first?

[Jack] Um, it varies.

But like, with this song for instance, the, um, the "Hey Jude" one

must have some story behind it.

Well, yeah. No, it does.

So, it was the son of a friend of mine,

who was having a hard time.

And it just... it came to me as a song of comfort.

I don't believe you.

What?

I mean, I just... I don't believe you.

- It's one genius idea after the other. - Oh, right.

I do have a suggestion, though, um...

about the song, the title "Hey Jude,"

"Jude" is just... it's a bit old-fashioned.

That was the kid's name, right?

- What kid? - That the song's about.

Oh, the kid. The kid, yes, the sad kid.

Now, let me just give you this advice, right?

Song title. I won't charge you a penny for it as well.

"Hey Dude."

Um...

♪ Hey, du... ♪

[sighs]

"Hey Dude," are you sure?

He's right. That's... [chuckles] That's so much better.

Is he?

- Is it? - [Ed] Yeah, yeah.

- ♪ Hey, dude, don't make it bad ♪ - [Debra] Yes. Mm-hmm.

- This isn't real. - [Ed] Definitely gonna be

one of the best songs of a generation.

- Wake up. Wake up, Jack. Wake up. - ♪ Hey, dude ♪

♪ Don't make it bad ♪

♪ Dudey-dudey-dudey ♪

- [door opens] - It's "dude."

♪ Hey, dude ♪

- [Debra] It's definitely "dude." - Jack, it's Ellie.

Oh. Sorry, guys, I've gotta take this. Just give me a minute, Ed, sorry.

- Elle, I'm so glad you called. - Jack.

- I'm not enjoying myself here at all. - Oh, right, well, um...

- I've got two bits of news. - I'm riveted.

All right, well, the first one...

- Big one. - Yeah?

- The Pier Hotel. - What, in Gorleston?

The place that closed down rather than have me play?

[chuckles] Yes, it's reopening.

- You're bloody kidding. - I am bloody not. It's re-bloody-opening.

[chuckles] That's amazing. That's huge news.

That's ma-bloody-ssive.

[chuckles]

All right. What's the second? I mean, it can't be as big, but tell me anyway.

Um...

And number two is...

I've been seeing someone.

Right.

Do I know him?

[Ellie] Yeah. It's Gavin.

I didn't want you to find out from someone else.

Every day, he puts me in the right column.

Of course.

The "true love" one.

- [knocking on glass] - Of course.

I've got to go.

Oh, God, yeah. Of course you do.

Um, okay, bye. Bye.

What? What could possibly be so urgent that I can't make a single phone call?

How the hell am I supposed to get any of the songs right

if you're just all clustering me and stopping me from being creative?

How can I ever be creative if I'm never ever left alone?

Okay.

We'll leave you alone then, genius.

No, I'm not. I'm sorry.

No, it's, uh... it's superstar rights.

Treat the people that you work with like shit on your shoes. Hmm.

[sighs]

- Ellie told you the news then? - Yeah.

You know, I never, never understood what you didn't see in her.

If I had been you,

twice a day, I would have loved her up like a lusty lion.

Rocky, if I ask you to just shut up,

really, really, really shut up,

- would that be okay? - All right.

Can I just start again and say, isn't it wonderful news?

And I hope they'll be very happy together and have gorgeous kids. Is that better?

No, it's worse.

I have got a third option, but...

I'm sorry. Um... [clears throat] I'm really sorry, everyone.

I'm just...

I'm really stressed.

What was so urgent?

Oh, um... No, nothing. It's just we have to decide today

where and when we're going to launch the album.

So, nothing big.

Apart from probably the biggest decision of your stupid life.

- What? - [Debra] You ass.

I do have one thought.

[crowd cheering]

[reporter] And the little town of Gorleston

has never seen anything like this before.

At 3:00 pm today, on the rooftop of the Pier Hotel,

Jack Malik, local boy turned pop phenomenon,

will premiere his highly anticipated first album.

And word seems to have got out.

[cheering]

[cheering continues in distance]

[knocking on door]

Can we, uh...

Wow, look at this. Look at you.

Oh. Didn't want to disturb. Just wanted to, you know...

Well, who'd have thought... [chuckles]

...while we were downstairs drinking cider and eating jelly,

you were up in your room writing "She Loves You." [chuckles]

Well...

Are you, uh, you playing our song?

- Your song? - [Sheila] "Let It Be."

Oh. We've never forgotten we were the first people to hear it.

Well, the start of it, at least.

Three times. [chuckles]

So proud.

Our beautiful, blazing boy.

[both] Aw.

- Oh. - Still, don't want to...

- Mind your suit, love. It's... - Your suit.

- Blue. - We'll leave you to it.

One last thing, son.

Yeah, Dad?

The sandwiches...

I see there's tuna. Are you going to finish them all?

No, please, take them all.

Oh. What a day. What an amazing day.

- Sorry. - [Jack sighs]

[helicopter whirring outside]

[exhales]

[crowd chanting] Jack! Jack! Jack!

Well. You look good.

That's a tight pant. [chuckles]

- [chuckles] - Mmm.

[clicks tongue] Okay, we've got a jaw and a chin.

Ooh. [chuckles] That's not bad. That's...

This will work. This will work.

- What? - Nothing.

[knocking on door]

Yeah.

[sighs, chuckles]

- Oh, hi, Ellie. Come in. - [chuckles] Hi.

And who have we here?

Um, Debra, this is Ellie. Ellie, this is Debra, my agent.

No! The Ellie?

- Oh! He's mentioned me? - [chuckles]

No. No, I'm kidding.

I know nothing about his life because he's a product to me.

Unless you're the one that was his manager?

In which case, wow.

- Huge mistake giving that up. - Oh, surreal, isn't it?

- Being back at the Pier Hotel. - [chuckles] Yeah, indeed.

I'm gonna go look at the stage. Yeah?

- Hmm. - Yeah. Press conference in ten.

Goodbye, lovebirds.

I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left Lime Street.

Okay, it was a terrible mistake.

Oh, no, don't say that. Please, don't say that.

- Elle... - I've heard your new songs.

- They're incredible. - Okay. No, they aren't.

I don't even know who you are anymore.

Everything changed after the accident. What happened?

- [Gavin] Jack? Jack? Jack? - And here's Gavin.

- Jack! - [Jack chuckles]

- Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack! - All right, mate?

- Jack. Jack. - Hey, mate.

Jack.

I don't know what to say.

Oh, really? It sounds like you do, and it's "Jack."

- [chuckles] - Jack!

We were just coming to say good luck and break a leg.

Yeah, well, if I fall off the roof, then a broken leg will be a good result.

All right, then, let's go.

[Gavin] Ka-ching!

Ellie.

[Ellie] Ooh.

Wow. Looks pretty quiet.

Maybe we should do a slightly shorter set.

- I mean really quiet. - [window slides open]

What do you want?

Uh, we're here for the gig. I'm the musician.

Well, that's pretty tricky, 'cause we closed three weeks ago.

I'd take it as a hint, I would.

I'm going to have to give up the part-time jobs,

go back to teaching.

[tires screeching]

[grunts, sighs]

What?

No. Don't go back to teaching.

I've got no choice.

Jack, if you go back to teaching, that is when you've got no choice.

Yeah, because you'll end up putting all your genius into all those kids.

And then you won't have any imagination or energy left to put into your music,

which really matters.

- Please? - [chuckles] Okay...

crazy, slightly mad woman.

[laughs]

[reporter] No one has ever written this many great songs

in this short a time.

How do you do it?

Honestly, I don't know.

[laughter]

Sometimes it feels like someone else has written all the songs.

- [laughter] - Any idea who?

[laughter]

What's the inspiration behind "Strawberry Fields Forever"?

- [clears throat] Well... - [woman] Who was your favorite?

John, Paul, George, or Ringo?

- Sorry? - [reporter] Who's your greatest influence?

[man] Why don't you record in Abbey Road like they did?

[overlapping shouting]

[reporter 2] When can we see another album, Jack?

[reporter 3] What's the story behind "Let It Be"?

[reporter 4] How did you come up with "Yesterday"?

Thank you so much. We have to go to the roof now.

We'll see you later.

[reporter 5] Jack, what was the first song you ever wrote?

[reporter 6] Jack, what are you gonna play for us today?

It's a nice bar they've got down there, actually.

You haven't been drinking, have you?

No, I have not.

Yeah, I have. But I find a couple of pints midday sharpens my senses.

Oh.

Not sure it does, mate.

- [sighs] - Right. Here goes.

[crowd cheering in the distance]

Actually, before I open this door, can I just say...

for a long time, I didn't really know why I'd been born. Felt a bit pointless.

But now I do know.

I was born to serve the greatest musician of all time.

It is my honor now to open this door

for the moment the entire world has been waiting for.

Thanks, Rock.

Oh, certainly been one hell of a journey, hasn't it?

So it has. So it has.

All right.

Here goes.

No, that's not...

Uh, wrong door.

Um, let us continue on our journey together.

Right.

Here it does go.

[crowd cheering]

[helicopter whirring]

Jack! Jack!

[crowd chanting] Jack! Jack! Jack!

[whooping]

[Rocky] Thank you, Gorleston!

[cheering continues]

[crowd continues chanting] Jack! Jack! Jack!

[Nick] Come on, Jack!

♪ When I was younger ♪

♪ So much younger than today ♪

♪ I never needed anybody's help In any way ♪

♪ But now these days are gone I'm not so self-assured ♪

♪ I found that I've changed my mind I opened up the door ♪

♪ Help me if you can, I'm feeling down ♪

♪ And I do appreciate you being 'round ♪

♪ Help me get my feet back on the ground ♪

♪ Won't you please, please help me? ♪

♪ And now my life has changed in Oh, so many ways ♪

♪ My independence Seems to vanish in the haze ♪

♪ But every now and then I feel so insecure ♪

♪ I find that I need you like I've never done before ♪

♪ Help me if you can, I'm feeling down ♪

♪ And I do appreciate you being 'round ♪

♪ Help me get my feet back on the ground ♪

♪ Won't you please, please Help me, help me, help me ♪

Help me!

[cheering]

[knocking on door]

[Rocky] Just hang on a minute, all right?

Hey, uh...

Listen, these two have been waiting to see you for an hour.

And they're genuinely a weird pair.

[door closes]

- Should I tell them to sod right off or... - No.

No, let them in.

All right, weirdos, two minutes.

You can go now, Rock. I'll be fine.

I wonder if we could have a little talk.

- Yeah. - [door closes]

'Cause I saw you went to Penny Lane and Strawberry Fields.

Yeah.

Eleanor Rigby's grave.

I know.

'Cause you can't sing songs about places you've never even been to.

- No. - No, I thought as much.

Well, we just wanted to say thank you, that's all.

Thank me?

We three seem to be the only ones who remember,

and we can't sing, so we just wanted to say...

thanks very much.

Myself, also, from bottom of heart.

Oh, my God!

[laughs]

I thought you were going to arrest me.

- No, it's just lovely to hear the songs. - Yeah.

I have missed them so.

I can't remember any of the lyrics.

- No, I'm struggling there as well. - I know.

"For the Benefit of Mr. Kite" is in completely the wrong order.

- Very big mess indeed. - Oh, yeah.

And "Hey Dude"? Really?

I can't apologize enough. It was bloody Ed Sheeran.

[laughing] But this is amazing!

Oh, God, 'cause I feel like I've been running around a foreign country

and I've finally bumped into two people who can speak English.

Because no one has ever heard of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band.

No one's ever lived in a yellow submarine.

- Submarine. A yellow submarine. - ♪ A yellow submarine ♪

[all] ♪ A yellow submarine ♪

- We all live in a yellow submarine. - We do!

I live in "Octopus Garden."

- [laughs] - Oh, yes!

Oh, you see...

[sighs]

See, here's my take, young Jack.

A world without The Beatles

is a world that's infinitely worse.

So, thank you. And use it well.

I'm trying, but it's hard.

There's so much money and success coming,

but I feel like I've become the definition of living a lie.

Well, I can see it might feel like that.

We thought this might help.

I beg your pardon?

Here, we've done...

[sighs]

a lot of digging.

- [sighs] - [door closes]

[wind whistling]

[knocking on door]

Hello.

Can I help?

I don't know.

Are you John?

That's right.

- From Liverpool? - That's right.

It's an honor to meet you.

[whistling]

- [Jack] John. - [John] Yeah?

[Jack] Have you had a happy life?

[John] Very.

[Jack] But not successful.

[John] I just said, very happy.

That means successful.

Did a job I enjoyed, day after day.

Sailed the world.

Fought for things I believed in, and won.

A couple of times.

Found a woman I loved.

Fought hard to keep her, too.

Lived my life with her.

Fought hard for her.

There were complica... [sighs]

Sorry, what's your name?

Jack.

There were complications, young Jack.

Loss and gain.

Prejudice and pride.

But...

it all turned out just...

fab.

How's your love life?

Bad.

I let her slip away.

Try to get her back.

You want a good life?

It's not complicated.

Tell the girl you love that you love her.

And tell the truth to everyone,

whenever you can.

Can I give you a hug?

What?

It's so good to see you.

How old are you?

- Seventy-eight. - Fantastic!

You made it to 78.

You're a very strange man. [sighs]

But go ahead.

[sighs]

You need serious psychiatric help.

Not anymore.

[ringtone] ♪ I'm in love With the shape of you ♪

- Jack. - Ed.

How can I help?

I need to ask quite a big and strange favor.

[cheering]

[Ed vocalizing]

[indistinct chatter]

[Debra] My boy!

[Jack] Debra.

Cheers.

Poor Ed. John the Baptist.

Nice guy, one or two pretty good songs,

but was basically warming the world up for you...

the messiah.

Soon to be the most successful artist in the history of music.

And the reason I'm going to be buying not just one more house in Malibu,

but the entire beachfront.

[sighs] Well, it's good to see you, Debra.

Um...

So, does anybody know why you're actually here?

Um... I'm going to spice up Ed's set with a couple of songs, and then...

there's a little something I want to say.

Songs. I love songs.

Thing you'd like to say?

I'd keep it brief.

[chuckles] I've never heard you say anything interesting before.

I don't know why tonight would be the big breakthrough.

- [chuckles] - Have a good show.

Thank you. Helpful.

[muffled cheering]

[sighs] You're on.

[exhaling] Okay.

- Is she here? - Yeah.

Okay.

- Remember the plan. - Yep.

- When I get to the last song. - [Rocky] Hey, I'm ready.

[cheering]

[Ed] Thank you! Thank you very much!

Now, the gig is not quite over. I have one last surprise for you all.

I'm gonna bring on an old friend.

I know him as my dodgy Moscow support act.

You know him as a man that writes very, very good songs.

Wembley Stadium, please make some noise for Mr. Jack Malik!

[cheering]

All right, over to you, maestro.

Thanks.

[Rocky] Wembley! Please welcome to the stage

the greatest human being who ever lived.

My best friend, your hero,

Sir Jack Malik!

- Yeah, Jack! - Whoo!

- Jack! Jack! - Jack! Whoo-hoo!

[cheering fades]

♪ Well, she was just 17 ♪

♪ You know what I mean ♪

♪ And the way she looked ♪

♪ Was way beyond compare ♪

♪ Here comes the sun ♪

♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo ♪

♪ Here comes the sun, and I say ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

So, when did you first realize that your son was too good for you?

- [laughs] - ♪ Sun, sun, sun, here it comes ♪

♪ Back in the US, back in the US ♪

♪ Back in the USSR ♪

♪ Nothing you can say ♪

♪ But you can learn how to play the game ♪

♪ It's easy ♪

[band playing]

♪ Nothing you can make That can't be made ♪

♪ Nothing you can save... ♪

Brass band, huh?

- Are we paying these jokers? - ♪ Nothing you can do ♪

♪ But you can learn How to be you in time ♪

♪ It's easy ♪

Everybody!

♪ All you need is love ♪

♪ All you need is love ♪

- Come backstage, Ellie. - What?

♪ All you need is love ♪

Coming through.

Excuse me.

♪ Love, love is all you need ♪

♪ All you need is love ♪

[Jack] All together now!

Come, come, come.

Come. See that?

[Jack] Everybody!

Stand there. Trust me.

Just stand right there.

Just stay right there. Stay there.

♪ Love is all you need ♪

[cheering]

And now there's, um...

There's someone I'd like to introduce you to,

if we could just switch on the backstage camera.

[cheering]

- Oh! [laughing] - Oh! [laughing]

It's Ellie.

This is Ellie.

- [cheering] - [Lucy] Ellie!

[Jack] And when I had no fans, Ellie was my only fan.

The only person in the world who believed in me.

And that's why tonight I asked Ed if I could come on and play,

'cause I want to tell her... and you...

what I've done.

Darn it, Ellie, I've been untrue.

All the songs I've sung tonight were really written and performed

by four men called John Lennon,

Paul McCartney, George Harrison, and Ringo Starr.

The Beatles.

They were the real geniuses.

Me, I'm just a sort of go-between

to, well, get their astonishing stuff into the world.

[man] Beatles?

[stammers] And I passed their amazing work off as my own,

so I could look like I was amazing, too.

[crowd jeering]

I want you all to know that I'm not going to take any money

for this work that isn't mine.

So you can have all the songs for free.

- Rocky, do it. - [Rocky] Right. Here goes.

[Rocky] They're being released for free online now.

And I'd love to not take any more praise for it.

[cheering]

So, I'm...

I'm so sorry.

And while I'm at it,

there's one other thing to say as well, because...

I've been a fool twice over.

And I want to thank Ellie

- for her love. - [crowd] Aww!

[Carol sighs]

And, Ellie...

Elle.

- I love you. - [crowd] Aww!

- Aww! - [laughs] Oh!

I always have.

Always.

That's definitely enough talking for one night. [chuckles]

But it's been a blast.

[cheering]

- [man] We love you, Jack! - [woman] We still love you!

[cheering continues]

[cheering loudly]

[panting] Where's the stage? What floor is this?

Where is the goddamn stage?

- Oh, my God! - I know. [sighs]

It's a lot of information to take in.

I know.

And if you'd told me I was gonna be on the big screen, I'd have got my hair done.

[chuckles]

I'm sorry.

You didn't write any of the songs?

No.

That is very bad behavior.

- On a global scale. - It was very bad.

Well, this is a strange one.

Of course I've always known I was number two.

But that's not a bad place to be.

Some of the best songs never made it to number one.

"Common People" by Pulp, for a start. It's a total classic.

And obviously, all I want is for Ellie to be happy.

Gavin...

Best man I ever met.

[kisses]

[sighs] Thank you, Gavin.

- [man] He's here! He's here! - What was that?

- Oh, God. Go. - Jack!

- We should definitely go! - Yeah.

- Shit! - [all clamoring]

Where's that lying son of a bitch?

Move, idiots!

[man] Look, he's here!

- Jack! - [clamoring]

Jack, please take me with you. No one else will employ me.

I'm rubbish at my job.

Just hold them off, Rocky.

In the name of money, stop!

Get back here, you stupid English mother...

- [grunting] Sorry, Debra. - [Debra] Jack!

[Rocky] Debra, stop. You're embarrassing yourself.

Jack!

[Ed Sheeran] ♪ It's such a beautiful night ♪

♪ To make a change in our lives ♪

♪ East Anglian sky, empty bottle of wine ♪

♪ I got you by my side ♪

♪ Talking 'bout love and life ♪

♪ Oh, how lucky you're mine When I look in your eyes ♪

♪ What a wonderful way To spend a moment or two ♪

♪ To be lying awake And be here talking to you ♪

♪ I got somethin' to say And know what I gotta do ♪

♪ To be making a change Now the moment of truth ♪

♪ Why am I feeling so nervous? ♪

♪ When things are going so perfect ♪

♪ But I know that it's worth it ♪

♪ To spend forever with you ♪

♪ And so I count to three ♪

♪ And get on one knee ♪

♪ And I ask you ♪

♪ Darling, honestly ♪

♪ I've waited all this time Just to make it right ♪

♪ So, I'll ask you tonight ♪

♪ "Will you marry me?" ♪

♪ Just say yes ♪

♪ One word, one love, one life... ♪

Oh, I feel like Harry Potter after he defeated Voldemort.

At last everything can go back to normal.

And isn't normal wonderful?

Who?

Sorry?

Harry Potter. Who's he?

♪ Your hand in mine ♪

♪ Some things were just meant to be ♪

♪ Hearts intertwined ♪

♪ Some things were just meant to be ♪

No one.

Nothing.

♪ In perfect time ♪

♪ Some things were just meant to be ♪

Time for bed.

- [sighs] - ♪ Oh, you and I ♪

Time.

♪ Some things were just meant to be ♪

[acoustic guitar playing]

♪ Desmond has a barrow In the marketplace ♪

♪ Molly is a singer with a band ♪

♪ Desmond says to Molly "Girl, I like your face" ♪

♪ And Molly says this As she takes him by the hand ♪

[all] ♪ Ob-la-di, ob-la-da ♪

♪ Life goes on, brah ♪

♪ La-la, how their life goes on ♪

Okay.

♪ In a couple of years They have built a home sweet home ♪

♪ With a couple of kids Running in the yard ♪

♪ Of Desmond and Molly Jones ♪

♪ Ha-ha-ha-ha ♪

♪ Happy ever after in the marketplace ♪

♪ Molly lets the children lend a hand ♪

♪ Desmond stays at home And does her pretty face ♪

♪ And in the evening She's a singer with the band ♪

Yeah. One last time.

♪ Ob-la-di, ob-la-da ♪

♪ Life goes on, brah ♪

♪ La-la, how their life goes on ♪

♪ Ob-la-di, ob-la-da ♪

♪ Life goes on, brah ♪

♪ La-la, how their life goes on ♪

♪ And if you want some fun ♪

♪ Sing Ob-la-di-bla-da ♪

[cheering]

[whooping]

[laughs]

Yes!

[cheering continues]

[The Beatles] ♪ Hey, Jude ♪

♪ Don't make it bad ♪

♪ Take a sad song and make it better ♪

♪ Remember to let her into your heart ♪

♪ Then you can start ♪

♪ To make it better ♪

♪ Hey, Jude, don't be afraid ♪

♪ You were made to ♪

♪ Go out and get her ♪

♪ The minute you let her under your skin ♪

♪ Then you begin to make it better ♪

♪ And anytime you feel the pain ♪

♪ Hey, Jude, refrain ♪

♪ Don't carry the world ♪

♪ Upon your shoulders ♪

♪ For well you know that it's a fool ♪

♪ Who plays it cool ♪

♪ By making his world a little colder ♪

♪ Na, na-na, na-na Na-na, na-na ♪

♪ Hey, Jude ♪

♪ Don't let me down ♪

♪ You have found her, now go and get her ♪

♪ Remember to let her into your heart ♪

♪ Then you can start to make it better ♪

♪ So let it out and let it in ♪

♪ Hey, Jude, begin ♪

♪ You're waiting for someone ♪

♪ To perform with ♪

♪ And don't you know that it's just you ♪

♪ Hey, Jude, you'll do ♪

♪ The movement you need Is on your shoulder ♪

♪ Na, na-na, na-na Na-na, na-na, yeah ♪

♪ Hey, Jude ♪

♪ Don't make it bad ♪

♪ Take a sad song and make it better ♪

♪ Remember to let her under your skin ♪

♪ Then you'll begin ♪

♪ To make it better ♪

♪ Better, better, better, better, better ♪

- ♪ I'm begging you ♪ - ♪ Oh, yeah ♪

- ♪ Na, na, na-na, na-na ♪ - ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Na-na, na-na ♪

♪ Hey, Jude ♪

♪ Na, na-na, na-na, na-na ♪

♪ Na-na, na-na ♪

♪ Hey, Jude ♪

♪ Na, na-na, na-na, na-na ♪

♪ Na-na, na-na ♪

♪ Hey, Jude ♪

♪ Na, na-na, na-na, na-na ♪

♪ Na-na, na-na ♪

♪ Hey, Jude ♪

♪ Jude, Judy, Judy Judy, Judy, Judy, ow, wow! ♪

- ♪ Na, na-na, na-na, na-na ♪ - ♪ Oh, my, my, m y ♪

♪ Na-na, na-na ♪

♪ Hey, Jude ♪

♪ Jude, Jude, Jude, Jude, Jude ♪

♪ Na, na-na, na-na, na-na ♪

- ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ - ♪ Na-na, na-na ♪

- ♪ Hey, Jude ♪ - ♪ Yeah, you know you can make it, Jude ♪

♪ Jude, you're not gonna break it ♪

♪ Na, na-na ♪

- ♪ Don't make it bad, Jude ♪ - ♪ Na-na, na-na ♪

- ♪ Take a sad song and make it better ♪ - ♪ Na-na, na-na ♪

- ♪ Hey, Jude ♪ - ♪ Oh, Jude, Jude, hey, Jude ♪

♪ Wow ♪

♪ Na, na-na, na-na, na-na ♪

- ♪ Ooh, Jude ♪ - ♪ Na-na, na-na ♪

♪ Hey, Jude ♪

♪ Hey, yeah ♪

♪ Na, na-na, na-na, na-na ♪

♪ Hey, hey ♪

♪ Na-na, na-na ♪

♪ Hey, Jude ♪

♪ Now, Jude, Jude, Jude, Jude, Jude ♪

- ♪ Na, na-na, na-na, na-na ♪ - ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Oh, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Na-na, na-na ♪

- ♪ Hey, Jude ♪ - [vocalizing]

♪ Na, na-na, na-na, na-na ♪

♪ Na-na, na-na ♪

♪ Hey, Jude ♪

♪ Na-na-na-na Na-na-na-na-na-na ♪

♪ Na, na-na, na-na, na-na ♪

♪ Pain won't come back, Jude ♪

♪ Na-na, na-na ♪

♪ Hey, Jude ♪

♪ Na, na-na, na-na, na-na ♪

♪ Na-na, na-na ♪

♪ Hey, Jude ♪

- ♪ Na, na-na, na-na, na-na ♪ - ♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Make it through ♪

♪ Na-na, na-na ♪

- ♪ Hey, Jude ♪ - ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Na, na-na, na-na, na-na ♪

♪ Na-na, na-na ♪

- ♪ Hey, Jude ♪ - ♪ Good evening, ladies and gentlemen ♪

♪ Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma ♪

♪ Na, na-na, na-na, na-na ♪

♪ Na-na, na-na ♪

♪ Hey, Jude ♪

♪ Na, na-na, na-na, na-na ♪

♪ Na-na, na-na ♪

♪ Hey, Jude ♪

♪ Well, then a na, na-na Na-na, na-na ♪

♪ Na-na, na-na ♪

♪ Hey, Jude ♪

[song fades]