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1
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(TH EME MUSIC P LAYI N G)
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Ooh, la, la ! (LAUG HI N G)
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-Ah, good morn I ng, Mrs Migg I ns.
-BonJour, monsieurl
4
00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:45,040
What?
5
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BonJour, monsieurl It's French.
6
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So is eati ng frogs, cruelty to geese,
a nd u ri nati ng I n the street.
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But that's no reason
to I nflict it on the rest of us.
8
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But French is a ll the fash ion!
9
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My coffee shop is fu ll of French ies.
10
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And it's a ll beca use
of that wonderfu I Sca rlet Pi m pernel!
11
00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:06,880
The Sca rlet Pi m pernel
is not wonderfu I, Mrs Migg I ns.
12
00:01:06,960 --> 00:01:09,200
There is no reason whatsoever
to ad m I re someone
13
00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:12,840
for fi lli ng London with a load
of ga rlic-chewi ng French toffs
14
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cryi ng "Ooh-la-la " a nd looki ng
for sym pathy a ll the ti me
15
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j ust beca use thei r fathers
had thei r heads cut off!
16
00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:21,160
I'll have a cu p of coffee
a nd some shepherd's pie, please.
17
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Oh ! We don't serve pies a ny more.
18
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My French clientele
consider pies u ncouth.
19
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Well, I ha rd ly th I n k that a nation
that eats sna I ls
20
00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:34,000
a nd wou ld go to bed with
the kitchen si n k if it put on a tutu
21
00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:36,480
is I n a ny position to preach couth ness!
22
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So what is on the men u?
23
00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:39,600
Well, today's hot choice,
24
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is Ch icken Pi m pernel I n a Sca rlet sa uce.
25
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Sca rlet Ch icken I n a Pi m pernel sa uce,
26
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or h uge suspicious-looki ng sa usages
27
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I n a Sca rlet Pi m pernel sa uce.
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What exactly is Sca rlet Pi m pernel sa uce?
29
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You ta ke a la rge, ri pe frog,
sq ueeze it...
30
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Yes, yes, a ll rig ht. I' m off to the pu b.
31
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-Ah, BonJour, monsieurl
-Sod off.
32
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(CAT MEOWI N G)
33
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(CAT YOWLI N G)
34
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Oh, si r, poor little Mi ld red the cat!
35
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What's he ever done to you?
36
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It is the way of the world, Ba ld rick.
37
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The a bused a lways kick downwa rds.
38
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I' m a n noyed
a nd so I kick the cat, the cat...
39
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- (SQU EAKI N G)
-... pou nces on the mouse,
40
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-a nd fi na lly the mouse.. .
-Arg h!
41
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... bites you on the beh I nd.
42
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-What do I do?
- N oth I ng.
43
00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:30,240
You a re last I n God's g reat cha I n.
44
00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:34,040
U n less of cou rse, there's a n ea rwig
a rou nd that you 'd li ke to victi m ise.
45
00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:35,760
Ba ld rick, what's ha ppened
to you r nose?
46
00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:37,080
N ice, I n n it?
47
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N o, it isn 't. It's revolti ng.
48
00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:40,880
Oh, I'll ta ke it off then.
49
00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:44,760
Ba ld rick, why a re you
wea ri ng a fa lse boi I?
50
00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:47,800
What a re we to expect next?
51
00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:51,120
A be a uty wa rt? A cosmetic verruca?
52
00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:55,760
-It's a Sca rlet Pi m ple, si r.
- Rea lly?
53
00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:57,960
Yea h, they're a ll the rage down ou r way.
54
00:02:58,040 --> 00:03:00,400
Everyone wa nts to express
thei r ad m I ration
55
00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:03,760
for the g reat Pi m ple
a nd h is bri llia nt d isg u ises.
56
00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:06,080
(SI N GI N G) They seek him here
They seek him there
57
00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:08,440
Those Frenchies seek him everywhere
58
00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:10,440
Is he in heaven or is he in hell
59
00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:13,560
And what's that revolti ng ga rlic smell?
60
00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:15,600
Ba ld rick, what has th is fellow done?
61
00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:17,280
Apa rt from pop over to Fra nce,
62
00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:20,560
to g ra b a few French nobs
from the I neffectua I clutches
63
00:03:20,640 --> 00:03:23,800
of some ma lnou rished, wh I ngei ng lefties,
64
00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:25,720
ta ki ng the opportu n ity,
wh I le there, no dou bt,
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00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:27,680
to pick u p some rea lly good chea p wi ne
66
00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:30,920
a nd some of thei r
ma rvellous open fru it fla ns!
67
00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:34,000
Doesn't a nyone know? We hate the French .
We fig ht wa rs aga I nst them.
68
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Did a ll those men d ie I n va I n
on the field of Ag I ncou rt?
69
00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:40,720
Was the ma n who bu rnt Joa n of Arc
si m ply wasti ng good matches?
70
00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:43,320
(B ELL RI N GI N G)
71
00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:47,000
Ah, H is Roya I H ig h ness,
the Pi n head of Wa les su m mons me.
72
00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:49,600
You know, I feel a lmost well-d isposed
towa rds h I m th is morn I ng.
73
00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:52,320
Utter ch u m p thoug h he may be,
at least he's not French.
74
00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:57,680
Un toast! Encore un toast! I say.
75
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-Le PimPernel Scarletl
- BOTH : Le PimPernel Scarletl
76
00:04:03,240 --> 00:04:05,480
Ah ! Le Adder Noirl Come you I n!
77
00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:11,600
Th is is the fellow to ask, you cha ps.
78
00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:14,800
My butler. Terri bly clever.
Brig hter tha n a bra I n pie.
79
00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:16,200
(LAUG HI N G HAUG HTI )
80
00:04:16,280 --> 00:04:19,080
Ah, Blackadder, we're tryi ng to g uess
who the Sca rlet Pi m pernel is,
81
00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:22,800
so we ca n send h I m a n enormous
posta I order to express ou r ad m I ration.
82
00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:24,120
Any ideas?
83
00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:25,800
Well, I' m su re if you add ress
the envelope to
84
00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:28,320
"The Biggest Show-off I n London ",
it wou ld reach h I m eventua lly.
85
00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:29,720
Tish a nd pish!
86
00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:31,520
Gadzooks! Ma la rkey!
87
00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:33,600
H ow da re you say such a th I ng?
88
00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:36,440
Da m n you, si r,
if you're not the worst ki nd of swi ne!
89
00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:38,600
Da m n that swi ne!
90
00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:40,600
I' m sorry, si r.
I was merely poi nti ng out
91
00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:43,800
that snea ki ng a ristocrats out from u nder
the noses of French revolutiona ries
92
00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:45,880
is as a bout as d ifficu lt
as putti ng on a hat.
93
00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:49,080
Si n k me, si r, th is is treason!
94
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The Sca rlet Pi m pernel is a hero.
95
00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:53,800
And the revolution is orchestrated
by a ruth less ba nd
96
00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:55,440
of h ig h ly orga n ised ki llers!
97
00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:58,240
- Da m n them .
- Da m n those orga n ised ki llers!
98
00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:01,520
George, if I remem ber rig htly,
99
00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:03,920
we were j ust d iscussi ng
the French Em bassy Ba ll
100
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:06,080
I n honou r of the exi led a ristocracy.
101
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We certa I n ly were.
102
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Where I I ntend to wea r
the most mag n ificent pa I r of trousers
103
00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:14,720
ever to issue forth from the delicate
ha nds of Messers Sn I bcock a nd Tu rkey,
104
00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:18,280
coutu riers to the very wea lthy
a nd the extremely fat.
105
00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:20,160
If the Pi m pernel
does fi na lly revea I h I mself,
106
00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:22,680
I don't wa nt to get ca ug ht out
wea ri ng bori ng trousers.
107
00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:25,520
Da m n those bori ng trousers!
108
00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:30,320
Well, what say we bet
you r cocksu re domestic 1 ,000 g u I neas
109
00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:33,280
that he ca n't go to Fra nce,
rescue a n a ristocrat
110
00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:35,040
a nd present h I m at the ba ll.
111
00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:39,360
Ha ! That's tu rned you wh ite, hasn't it?
112
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:41,800
That's frig htened you, you li ly-livered,
113
00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:44,680
ca ra mel-kid neyed, custa rd-colou red cad.
114
00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:48,680
- N ot so buoya nt now, a re you, eh? Eh?
- Eh?
115
00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:50,840
On the contra ry, si r.
I'll j ust go a nd pack.
116
00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:52,240
Oh.
117
00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:55,400
Perha ps Lord Smed ley
a nd Lord Topper wi ll accom pa ny me.
118
00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,240
I' m su re it'll be a fa I rly easy tri p.
119
00:05:57,320 --> 00:06:00,400
The odd death defyi ng lea p,
a nd a modest a mou nt of denta I tortu re.
120
00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:02,120
Wa nt to come?
121
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-Oh, no ! Da m n !
-Oh, no ! Da m n!
122
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Any day now,
I've got a n a ppoi ntment with my doctor.
123
00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:14,360
I've got a bit of a sn iffle com I ng on,
I ca n feel it I n my bones.
124
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Da m n bones, da m n bones, da m n ...
125
00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:19,240
What a bout next week?
126
00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:21,560
Oh, come on, you cha ps,
get you r d ia ries out, come on.
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Alrig ht.
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- Da m n .
- Da m n.
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-I've left it beh I nd !
- Beh I nd!
130
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And, besides, I've j ust remem bered,
my father's j ust d ied.
131
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I've got to be at h is fu nera I
I n 10 m I n utes. Da m n sorry!
132
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Good bye, you r H ig h ness!
133
00:06:34,840 --> 00:06:36,760
Oh, da m n!
134
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I' m the best ma n.
135
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Da m n that dead father!
Da m n h I m ! Good bye.
136
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See you at the ba ll.
137
00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:47,920
Oh, what a sha me they were so busy.
138
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It wou ld have been lovely
to have had them with us.
139
00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:52,320
-Us?
-Yes.
140
00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:54,320
-You're com I ng, si r?
-Oh, certa I n ly.
141
00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:55,480
Ah.
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And noth I ng I ca n say
143
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a bout the m I nd-bend I ng horrors
of the revolution cou ld put you off?
144
00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:01,840
Absolutely not!
145
00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:03,600
N ow, come on, Blackadder,
let's get packi ng.
146
00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:06,560
I wa nt to look my best
for those fa bu lous French bi rds.
147
00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:09,720
Si r, the type of women
cu rrently favou red I n Fra nce
148
00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:12,680
a re tooth less crones
who j ust cackle I nsa nely.
149
00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:15,640
Oh, ig nore that,
they're j ust playi ng ha rd to get.
150
00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:21,680
By removi ng a ll thei r teeth,
goi ng mad a nd agei ng 40 yea rs?
151
00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:23,600
That's rig ht, the little teasers!
152
00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:27,640
Well, come on, u m.. .
I th I n k a blend of si lks a nd sati ns.
153
00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:28,880
I fea r not, si r.
154
00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:31,320
If we a re to sta nd a ny cha nce
of su rviva I I n Fra nce,
155
00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:34,480
we sha ll have to d ress
as the smelliest low-life I mag I na ble.
156
00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:36,080
Oh, yes, what sort of th I ng?
157
00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:39,720
Well, si r, let me show you
ou r Pa ris Collection.
158
00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:43,280
Ba ld rick is wea ri ng
a sheep's bladder jacket,
159
00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:46,520
with match I ng d u ng-ba ll accessories.
160
00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:50,080
Ha I r by Crazy Meg of Bed la m Ha I r.
161
00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:53,360
N otice how the overpoweri ng a roma
of rotti ng pi lcha rds
162
00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:56,280
has been woven cu n n I ng ly
I nto the ensem ble.
163
00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:59,520
Ba ld rick, when d id you last cha nge
you r trousers?
164
00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:02,920
-I've never cha nged my trousers.
-Tha n k you.
165
00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:05,080
You see the a ncient Greeks,
si r, wrote I n legend
166
00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:08,560
of a terri ble conta I ner I n wh ich
a ll the evi ls of the world were tra pped.
167
00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:11,920
H ow prophetic they were.
All they got wrong was the na me.
168
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:14,000
They ca lled it " Pa ndora's Box",
169
00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:16,440
when, of cou rse, they mea nt
" Ba ld rick's Trousers".
170
00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:21,840
It certa I n ly ca n get a bit wh iffy,
there's no dou bt a bout that.
171
00:08:21,920 --> 00:08:23,720
We a re told that
when the box was opened,
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00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:28,040
the whole world tu rned to da rkness
beca use of Pa ndora's fata I cu riosity.
173
00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:31,200
I cha rge you now, Ba ld rick,
for the good of a ll ma n ki nd,
174
00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:34,760
never a llow cu riosity to lead you
to open you r trousers.
175
00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:38,760
N oth I ng of I nterest lies therei n.
176
00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:41,920
H owever, You r H ig h ness,
it is trousers exactly li ke these
177
00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:44,880
that you wi ll have to wea r
if we a re to pass safely I nto Fra nce.
178
00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:48,560
(CLEARS TH ROAT) Yes, well, you know,
179
00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:50,800
on second thoug ht, I th I n k I'm ig ht
g ive th is whole th I ng a m iss.
180
00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:52,200
You know, my tu m my's playi ng u p a bit.
181
00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:55,720
Ah, wish I cou ld come,
but j ust not poss with th is tu m.
182
00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:57,840
I u ndersta nd perfectly, si r.
183
00:08:57,920 --> 00:09:01,480
Also, the cha nces of me scori ng
if I look a nd smell li ke h I m a re zero.
184
00:09:01,560 --> 00:09:02,640
That's true, si r.
185
00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:05,280
We sha ll retu rn presently
to bid you fa rewell.
186
00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:08,960
Mr B, I've been havi ng second thoug hts
a bout th is tri p to Fra nce.
187
00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:10,240
Oh, why?
188
00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:12,160
Well, as fa r as I ca n see,
189
00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:13,400
looki ng a nd smelli ng li ke th is
190
00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:15,400
there's not m uch cha nce
of me scori ng, either.
191
00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:21,200
-Well, Blackadder, th is is it.
-Yes, si r.
192
00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:24,040
If I don't ma ke it back,
please write to my mother
193
00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:26,000
a nd tell her
that I've been a live a ll the ti me,
194
00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:28,680
it's j ust that I cou ld n't be bothered
to get I n touch with the old bat.
195
00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:31,400
Well, of cou rse, old ma n .
It's the very least I cou ld do.
196
00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:32,960
We m ust leave at once.
197
00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:34,080
The shadows lengthen
198
00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:36,440
a nd we have a long a nd a rd uous jou rney
a head of us.
199
00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:41,080
Fa rewell, dea r master
a nd, da re I say, friend.
200
00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:45,200
Fa rewell, brave li berator,
a nd da re I say it, butler.
201
00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:53,200
Rig ht, stick the kettle on, Ba lders.
202
00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:54,680
What, a ren't we goi ng to Fra nce?
203
00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:56,200
Of cou rse we're not goi ng to Fra nce.
204
00:09:56,280 --> 00:09:58,000
It's I ncred I bly da ngerous there.
205
00:09:58,080 --> 00:09:59,880
Well, how a re you goi ng to wi n you r bet?
206
00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:03,480
As a lways, Ba ld rick, by the use
of the la rge th I ng between my ea rs.
207
00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:05,560
Oh, you r nose.
208
00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:10,680
N o, Ba ld rick, my bra I n.
209
00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:13,240
All we do is lie low here for a week,
210
00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:16,240
then go to Mrs Migg I ns', pick u p
a ny old French a ristocrat,
211
00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:18,200
d rag h I m th roug h a pudd le,
ta ke h I m to the ba ll
212
00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:20,040
a nd cla I m ou r 1 ,000 g u I neas.
213
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,360
Well, what if the Pri nce fi nds us here?
214
00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:25,480
H e ca n't fi nd h is own fly-buttons.
Let a lone the kitchen door.
215
00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:29,800
What a pa I r of trousers!
216
00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:35,040
I sha ll be the belle
of the Em bassy Ba ll!
217
00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:37,880
N ow, how do you put them on? Blackadder!
218
00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:40,760
Oh, no, da m n ! H e's gone to Fra nce.
219
00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:44,120
Well, I'll do it myself.
Shou ld n't be too d ifficu lt. Erm ...
220
00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:45,480
Er...
221
00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:51,840
Well, Ba ld rick,
what a very pleasa nt week.
222
00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:53,720
We m ust do th is more often.
223
00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:55,440
Yes, I sha ll certa I n ly choose
224
00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:58,520
revolutiona ry Fra nce
for my holiday aga I n next yea r.
225
00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:01,320
N ow, ti me to go to work.
226
00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:04,840
Off to Mrs Migg I ns'
to pick u p a ny old French toff.
227
00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:07,360
(BAN GI N G)
228
00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:10,040
What do you th I n k that is?
229
00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:11,920
Well, if I was feeli ng ma licious,
230
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:14,640
I'd say it's the Pri nce sti ll tryi ng
to put h is trousers on after a week.
231
00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:17,360
Oh, da m n!
232
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:21,080
Ah, Mrs Migg I ns.
233
00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:23,760
I'd li ke a massive plate
of pigs' trotters,
234
00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:26,320
frogs' legs, a nd sna I ls' ea rs, please,
235
00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:29,720
a ll d renched I n you r lovely
Sca rlet Pi m pernel sa uce.
236
00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:32,640
N ot so hosti le
to the French ies now, Mr B.
237
00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:35,720
Certa I n ly not, Mrs M.
I'd sooner be hosti le to my own serva nt.
238
00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:41,880
In fact, I ca me here specifica lly
to meet lovely French ies.
239
00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:45,640
Well, vive to that
a nd a n ecla I r for both of us!
240
00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:48,000
Vive, I ndeed .
N ow, what I' m looki ng for, Mrs M,
241
00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:49,840
is a pa rticu la r ki nd of French ie,
242
00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:52,320
na mely one who
is tra nspa rently of noble blood,
243
00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:53,960
but a lso short on cash.
244
00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:56,120
Oh, I've got j ust the fellow for you,
245
00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:58,000
over there by the wi ndow,
246
00:11:58,080 --> 00:11:59,680
the Comte de Frou- Frou.
247
00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:02,920
H e's pretty down on h is luck,
248
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:05,320
a nd he's made that horse's wi lly
last a ll morn I ng.
249
00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:11,280
We have struck ga rlic!
250
00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:17,520
- N ow you ca n have some lu nch, Ba ld rick.
-Tha n k you.
251
00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:21,840
Le Comte de Frou- Frou, I believe.
252
00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:23,320
Eh?
253
00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:26,360
- Do you spea k Eng lish?
-A little.
254
00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:28,640
Yes, when you say "a little"
what exactly do you mea n?
255
00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:30,400
I mea n, ca n we ta lk,
or a re we goi ng to spend
256
00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:32,520
the rest of the afternoon aski ng
each other the way to the beach
257
00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:34,080
I n very loud voices?
258
00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:38,680
Ah, no. I ca n order coffee,
dea I with wa iters,
259
00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:41,640
ma ke sexy ch it-chat with g I rls,
that type of th I ng.
260
00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,200
Oh, good.
261
00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:44,920
Just don't ask me
to ta ke a physiology class
262
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:46,240
or d I rect a lig ht opera.
263
00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:47,920
N o, I won't.
264
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:51,120
N ow, listen, Frou- Frou,
wou ld you li ke to ea rn some money?
265
00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:54,560
N o, I wou ld n 't.
266
00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:57,640
I wou ld li ke other people to ea rn it
a nd then g ive it to me.
267
00:12:57,720 --> 00:13:00,280
Just li ke I n Fra nce
I n the good old days.
268
00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:03,320
Yes, but th is is a cha nce to retu rn
to the good old days.
269
00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:06,160
Oh, how I wou ld love that!
270
00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:09,600
I hate th is life ! The food is fi lthy!
271
00:13:09,680 --> 00:13:13,200
Th is h uge sa usage is very suspicious.
272
00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:15,600
If I d id n't know better,
I'd say it was a horse's...
273
00:13:15,680 --> 00:13:17,480
Yes, yes, a ll rig ht. N ow, listen.
274
00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:19,520
The pla n is th is.
275
00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:22,760
I have a bet on with someone
that I ca n get a French ma n out of Pa ris.
276
00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:25,560
I wa nt you to be that French ma n.
277
00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:28,200
All you have to do
is come to the em bassy with me,
278
00:13:28,320 --> 00:13:29,600
say that I rescued you,
279
00:13:29,680 --> 00:13:32,080
a nd then wa lk away with 50 g u I neas
280
00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:34,720
a nd a ll the vol-au-vents
you ca n stuff I n you r pockets.
281
00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:38,760
-What do you say?
-It wi ll be a pleasu re.
282
00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:42,920
If there's one th I ng we a ristocrats
enjoy it's a fa bu lous pa rty.
283
00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:45,640
Oh, the m usic!
Oh, the la ug hter!
284
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,600
If on ly I'd broug ht my mongoose costu me.
285
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:58,960
Yes, well, obviously
it hasn't rea lly got goi ng yet.
286
00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:00,920
I th I n k that is a bit of
a n u nderstatement, Frou- Frou.
287
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:04,120
I've been at a utopsies
with more pa rty atmosphere.
288
00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:08,440
Don't worry! In a moment we wi ll hea r
the sou nd of m usic a nd ha ppy la ug hter.
289
00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:12,240
(LAUG HI N G MENACI N G )
290
00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:16,600
(BOTH S P EAKI N G FREN CH )
291
00:14:16,680 --> 00:14:17,760
Ah, good even I ng, my ma n.
292
00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:20,400
- Do you spea k Eng lish?
-A little.
293
00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:23,360
Good, well j ust ta ke me
to the Am bassador then, wi ll you?
294
00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:25,560
Pardon?
295
00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:29,320
I have rescued a n a ristocrat
296
00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:33,320
from the clutches
of the evi I revolutiona ries.
297
00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:36,240
Please ta ke me to the Am bassador.
298
00:14:36,920 --> 00:14:39,120
N o, I won't.
299
00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:42,840
I a m a n evi I revolutiona ry
300
00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:46,680
a nd I have m u rdered the Am bassador
301
00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:50,600
a nd tu rned h I m I nto paté.
302
00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:56,480
-Ah .
-And you, a risto-pig, a re tra pped.
303
00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:57,800
Pig? Ha!
304
00:14:57,880 --> 00:15:01,320
You wi ll reg ret you r I nsolence,
revolutiona ry dog.
305
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:02,640
Dog? Ha!
306
00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:05,120
You wi ll reg ret you r a rroga nce,
roya list sna ke.
307
00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:06,640
Sna ke? Ha!
308
00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:08,440
I' m sorry to I nterru pt
th is very I nteresti ng d iscussion,
309
00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:10,240
but, rea lly, it is none of my busi ness,
310
00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:12,040
so I th I n k I'll be on my way.
Come on, Ba ld rick.
311
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:15,880
Ah, a h, a h. N ot so fast, Eng lish!
312
00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:20,880
In rescu I ng th is boite de sti n ky weed,
313
00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:25,320
you have attem pted to pervert
revolutiona ry j ustice.
314
00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:28,920
Do you know what they do
to people who do that?
315
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:31,760
They're g iven a little present
a nd a llowed to go free?
316
00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:33,480
N o.
317
00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:36,000
They're smacked a nd told not
to be na ug hty, but basica lly let off.
318
00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:38,320
- N o.
-I th I n k I know.
319
00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:40,720
-What?
-They're put I n prison for the n ig ht
320
00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:42,560
a nd bruta lly g u I lloti ned I n the morn I ng.
321
00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:43,760
Well done, Ba ld rick.
322
00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:48,920
You r little g nome is correct, monsieur.
323
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:52,400
Gentlemen !
Welcome to the last day of you r life!
324
00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:56,040
H ow da re you, you fi lthy weasel.
325
00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:57,160
Weasel? Ha!
326
00:15:57,240 --> 00:15:59,240
You're one to ta lk, a risto-wa rthog.
327
00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:01,120
-Wa rthog? Ha !
- Ha!
328
00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:05,040
Excuse me, Frou- Frou .
Look, mate, me old mate...
329
00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:06,440
We're both worki ng class.
330
00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:08,920
We both hate these rich basta rds.
I mea n, come on.
331
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:10,160
Come on, me old m ucker.
332
00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:12,600
Just let me go,
you've got noth I ng aga I nst me.
333
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:14,560
On the contra ry.
334
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:17,760
I hate you Eng lish
with you r bori ng trousers
335
00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:19,760
a nd you r sh I ny toi let pa per
336
00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:25,320
a nd you r rid icu lous preconception
that French men a re g reat lovers.
337
00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:27,800
I' m French a nd I' m h u ng
li ke a ba by ca rrot
338
00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:30,080
a nd a cou ple of Petits Pois.
339
00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:34,600
Fa rewell, old m ucker,
a nd death to the a ristos!
340
00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:37,040
- Death to the a ristos!
-Sh ut u p, mousebra I n!
341
00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:42,400
Onsieur, why do you
waste you r words on th is scu m?
342
00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:43,800
Have no fea r!
343
00:16:43,880 --> 00:16:48,240
-The Sca rlet Pi m pernel wi ll save us.
- Ha ! Some hope.
344
00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:50,680
The Pi m pernel is the most
overrated h u ma n bei ng
345
00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:55,120
si nce J udas Isca riot won the A. D. 31
Best Disci ple Com petition.
346
00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:59,360
Well, if he shou ld fa I I us, here,
347
00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:01,640
I have these su icide pi lls.
348
00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:04,560
One for me, one for you,
349
00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:08,080
a nd one for the dwa rf.
350
00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:12,160
-Say tha n k you, Ba ld rick.
-Tha n k you, Mr Frou.
351
00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:15,160
(KEYS JI N G LI N G)
352
00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:18,640
-Ah, the Pi m pernel!
- H ooray!
353
00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:21,400
Ah, the Am bassador, hooray.
354
00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:25,480
H m m, I've got noth I ng to do.
355
00:17:26,360 --> 00:17:29,120
So I th I n k I wi ll tortu re...
356
00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:32,280
You, a risto-mong rel!
357
00:17:32,360 --> 00:17:36,280
Mong rel? Ha !
I look forwa rd to it, proleta ria n sku n k!
358
00:17:36,360 --> 00:17:37,640
Sku n k? Ha!
359
00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:39,680
We'll see a bout that,
a ristocratic ha ppypota m us!
360
00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:44,240
Ha ppypota m us? Ha !
We'll soon see who's the ha ppypota m us.
361
00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:46,160
I' m g lad to say,
362
00:17:46,240 --> 00:17:50,040
I don't th I n k you ' ll be need I ng
those pi lls, Mr B.
363
00:17:50,120 --> 00:17:51,440
Am I j u m pi ng the g u n, Ba ld rick,
364
00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:54,120
or a re the words
"I have a cu n n I ng pla n "
365
00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:56,160
ma rch I ng with I ll-deserved confidence
366
00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:57,960
I n the d I rection of th is conversation?
367
00:17:58,040 --> 00:17:59,520
They certa I n ly a re!
368
00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:02,080
Forg ive me if I don't j u m p u p
a nd down with g lee,
369
00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:04,480
you r record I n th is depa rtment
is not exactly 100%.
370
00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:08,920
-So, what's the pla n?
-We do noth I ng.
371
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,040
Yep, that's a nother world-beater.
372
00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:14,400
Wa it, I haven't fi n ished.
373
00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:18,760
We do noth I ng u nti I ou r heads
have actua lly been cut off.
374
00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:23,640
And then we spri ng I nto action?
375
00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:25,760
Exactly!
376
00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:28,160
You know how when
you cut a ch icken's head off,
377
00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:32,200
-it ru ns rou nd a nd rou nd the fa rmya rd?
-Yea h.
378
00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:35,560
Well, we wa it u nti I
ou r heads have been cut off,
379
00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:37,840
then we ru n rou nd
a nd rou nd the fa rmya rd,
380
00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:40,120
out the fa rm gate a nd esca pe.
381
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:41,640
What do you th I n k?
382
00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:44,720
My opi n ions a re rather d ifficu lt
to express I n words.
383
00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:47,280
So, perha ps I ca n put it th is way...
384
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:49,880
It doesn't rea lly matter,
385
00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:52,800
cos the Sca rlet Pi m pernel
wi ll save us, a nyway.
386
00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:54,080
N o, he won't, Ba ld rick.
387
00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:57,720
Either I th I n k u p a n idea,
or tomorrow we d ie,
388
00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:00,280
wh ich, Ba ld rick, I have to tell you,
I have no I ntention of doi ng,
389
00:19:00,360 --> 00:19:02,720
beca use I wa nt to be you ng a nd wi ld,
390
00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:05,200
a nd then I wa nt
to be m idd le-aged a nd rich,
391
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:07,320
a nd then I wa nt to be old
a nd a n noy people
392
00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:08,520
by pretend I ng that I' m deaf.
393
00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:12,080
Just be q u iet a nd let me th I n k.
394
00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:20,160
- BALD RICK: I ca n't sleep, Mr Blackadder.
-I sa id, sh ut u p!
395
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:23,200
I' m so excited to th I n k
that the Sca rlet Pi m pernel
396
00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:24,560
wi ll be here at a ny moment.
397
00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:27,160
I wish you 'd forget
th is rid icu lous fa ntasy, Ba ld rick.
398
00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:29,360
Even if he d id tu rn u p,
the g ua rds wou ld be woken
399
00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:31,320
by the scra pi ng noise
400
00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:34,320
as he tried to sq ueeze h is massive,
swollen head th roug h the door.
401
00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:37,640
I cou ld n't sleep when I was little.
402
00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:39,200
You sti ll a re little, Ba ld rick.
403
00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:41,720
Yea h, well, when I was even littler.
404
00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:44,800
See, we used to live
I n th is ha u nted hovel.
405
00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:47,560
Every n ig ht, my fa m I ly were trou bled
406
00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:51,360
by a visitation from
th is d isg usti ng g hou I.
407
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:53,520
It was terri ble.
408
00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:55,960
Fi rst there was th is u n holy smell,
409
00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:59,880
then th is ti ny, cla m my, ha I ry creatu re
410
00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:02,960
wou ld materia lise I n the bed
between them.
411
00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:05,280
Fortu nately, I cou ld never
see it myself.
412
00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:09,000
Yes, tell me, Ba ld rick,
when you left home,
413
00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:12,000
d id th is repu lsive entity
mysteriously d isa ppea r?
414
00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:15,800
That very day.
415
00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:17,560
I th I n k then
that the mystery is solved.
416
00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:19,520
N ow, sh ut u p.
417
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:22,880
Either I th I n k of a n idea,
or tomorrow we meet ou r ma ker.
418
00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:27,040
In my case, God .
In you r case, God knows,
419
00:20:27,120 --> 00:20:29,360
but I'd be su rprised
if he's won a ny desig n awa rds.
420
00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:32,960
Wa it a m I n ute,
421
00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:35,080
-I've thoug ht of a pla n !
- BALD RICK: H ooray!
422
00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:37,120
B LACKAD D ER: Also, I thoug ht
of a way to get you to sleep.
423
00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:38,920
- BALD RICK: What? Ow!
- (TH U D DI N G)
424
00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:44,880
Morn I ng, scu m .
Did we sleep well?
425
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:46,200
Li ke a tot, tha n k you.
426
00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:48,760
But, by j I m I ny,
you m ust be feeli ng th I rsty
427
00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:50,560
after you r long n ig ht's bruta lity.
428
00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:52,040
Dri n k?
429
00:20:52,120 --> 00:20:54,720
Oh, non, merci, not wh I le I' m on d uty.
430
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:57,880
Ah, perha ps later.
431
00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:00,720
For you, monsieur, there is no later.
432
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:03,280
Beca use gentlemen,
I a m proud to I ntrod uce
433
00:21:03,360 --> 00:21:06,640
Fra nce's most vicious woma n,
434
00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:08,760
u nexpected ly a rrived
from Pa ris th is morn I ng.
435
00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:12,000
Wou ld you please welcome
Mada me Gu I lloti ne herself!
436
00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:14,640
(CACKLI N G)
437
00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:21,640
(S H RI LL VOICE)
Are these the Eng lish pigs?
438
00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:22,880
Yes, that's us.
439
00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:25,400
Leave them with me,
onsieurAmbassadeur.
440
00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:29,520
I I ntend to tortu re them
I n a ma n ner so u n be a ra bly g ruesome,
441
00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:32,600
even you wi ll not be a ble to sta nd it!
442
00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:34,560
I don't th I n k
I wi ll have a problem, madame.
443
00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:36,000
N o, you wi ll be sick.
444
00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:38,280
What if I stay for the fi rst few m I n utes
445
00:21:38,360 --> 00:21:39,840
a nd I'll leave if I' m feeli ng q ueasy.
446
00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:42,080
N o, you wi ll be sick I m med iately.
447
00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:44,520
What if I a m sick q u ietly, I n a bag?
448
00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:47,000
I mea n, what is I n you r m I nd?
449
00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:48,560
(MUMB LI N G)
450
00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:50,720
(RETCHI N G)
451
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:56,000
So ! Scu m!
452
00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:59,520
Prepa re to be I n pa I n!
453
00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:01,400
Yes, certa I n ly.
454
00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:05,480
But fi rst, perha ps,
a toast to you r be a uty.
455
00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:08,280
Oh, tha n k you. Okay.
456
00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:12,120
Cheers.
457
00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:15,920
So I expect you were
expecti ng to be rescued, h u h?
458
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:18,080
H u h, some bloody hope.
459
00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:20,840
(N O RMAL VOICE) On the contra ry!
I' m j ust sorry I' m so late.
460
00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:22,520
What?
461
00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:25,440
Yes, Gentlemen,
I have come to ta ke you to freedom!
462
00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:28,120
- H ooray!
-My God, Smed ley!
463
00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:29,880
But I thoug ht you
were a n a bsolute fathead.
464
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:32,880
N o, j ust a da m n fi ne actor!
465
00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:36,760
Tha n k God I got here before you took
a ny of those awfu I su icide pi lls!
466
00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:42,880
Yes, I su ppose, if someone had ta ken one
467
00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:45,960
a nd wished that he had n 't,
he'd be a ble to do someth I ng a bout it.
468
00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:48,760
N o, no, they're very
odd th I ngs, you see.
469
00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:51,120
The sym ptoms a re most pecu lia r.
470
00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:55,320
Fi rst of a ll, the victi ms become
very, very depressed.
471
00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:57,680
Oh, God!
472
00:22:57,760 --> 00:22:59,880
Th is whole revolution is so depressi ng,
473
00:22:59,960 --> 00:23:01,800
I mea n, someti mes
I wonder why I bother.
474
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:04,280
I mea n, I' m so lonely,
a nd nobody loves me.
475
00:23:04,360 --> 00:23:06,200
And after the depression comes death?
476
00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:08,640
N o, after the depression
comes the loss of tem per,
477
00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:10,320
you stuck-u p basta rd!
478
00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:12,400
-What a re you sta ri ng at?
-Oh.
479
00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:16,000
And after the tem per comes death?
480
00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:20,360
N o ! After the tem per comes the, er...
481
00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:22,960
-Comes the, er.. .
- Forgetfu lness?
482
00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:26,560
- Er, yes, that's it. Er, comes the.. .
- Forgetfu lness.
483
00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:30,120
Yes, yes.
Rig ht I n the m idd le of a th I ngy,
484
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:34,080
you com pletely forget what it was you.. .
Oh, n ice pa I r of shoes!
485
00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:36,440
And after the forgetfu lness, you d ie?
486
00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:37,960
Oh, no ! I forgot one!
487
00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:41,560
After the forgetfu lness
comes a moment of exq u isite ha ppi ness!
488
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:44,600
J u m pi ng u p a nd down,
a nd wavi ng you r a rms I n the a I r,
489
00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:49,120
a nd knowi ng that I n a m I n ute
we're a ll goi ng to be free ! Free ! Free!
490
00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:51,920
-And then death?
- N o, you j u m p I n the corner fi rst.
491
00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:58,720
- H ooray! It's the Sca rlet Pi m pernel!
-Yes, Ba ld rick.
492
00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:01,760
-And you ki lled h I m !
-Yes, Ba ld rick.
493
00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:05,320
What's the bloody poi nt
of bei ng the Sca rlet Pi m pernel
494
00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:08,480
if you're goi ng to fa ll for
the old poisoned cu p routi ne?
495
00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:11,360
Sca rlet Pi m pernel, my foot.
Sca rlet Git, more li ke it.
496
00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:14,000
Wa it! H ere's ou r cha nce to esca pe!
497
00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:15,760
But what a bout Mr Frou?
498
00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:17,880
Forget Frou- Frou.
499
00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:20,840
I wou ld n't pick my nose
to save h is life.
500
00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:25,040
Ah, Frou- Frou, my old friend
a nd com rade, what a re you doi ng here?
501
00:24:25,120 --> 00:24:27,560
I esca ped ! What ha ppened here?
502
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:29,200
Oh, er, noth I ng, noth I ng.
503
00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:32,880
Er, I thoug ht for a moment
the Sca rlet Pi m pernel had saved you.
504
00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:34,840
(LAUG HI N G)
505
00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:40,520
Ah, cha ps, good to see you.
506
00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:42,120
Just tryi ng on the new trousers.
507
00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:44,080
I retu rn, si r, as prom ised,
508
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:48,080
plus one toff French a ristocrat
fresh from the Basti lle.
509
00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:50,800
Ah, pleased to meet you, monsieur.
Do sit down.
510
00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:52,640
Enchante.
511
00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:54,640
Da m n sorry a bout the revolution
a nd a ll that ca per.
512
00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:56,200
Most awfu lly bad luck.
513
00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:58,520
So tell me, Blackadder,
how the devi I d id you get h I m out?
514
00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:01,320
Si r, it's a n extraord I na ry ta le
of cou rage a nd heroism
515
00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:03,120
wh ich I blush from telli ng myself,
516
00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:05,600
-but seei ng as there's no one else.. .
-I cou ld try.
517
00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:09,000
We left Eng la nd I n good weather,
518
00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:11,080
but that was as fa r as ou r luck held.
519
00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:12,280
In the m idd le of Dover ha rbou r,
520
00:25:12,360 --> 00:25:14,360
we were struck by a tida I wave.
521
00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:16,480
And I was forced to swi m to Bou log ne
522
00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:19,800
with the u nconscious Ba ld rick
tucked I nto my trousers.
523
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:21,800
Then, we were ta ken to Pa ris,
524
00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:24,720
where I was su m ma ri ly tried
a nd condem ned to death,
525
00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:27,120
a nd then h u ng by the la rger
of my testicles
526
00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:28,800
from the wa lls of the Basti lle.
527
00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:31,360
It was then that
I decided I had had enoug h.
528
00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:33,600
Bravo!
529
00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:36,040
I rescued the Cou nt,
530
00:25:36,120 --> 00:25:38,080
ki lled the g ua rds, j u m ped the moat,
531
00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:39,800
ra n to Versa I lles,
532
00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:42,280
where I cli m bed
I nto Mr Robespierre's bed room,
533
00:25:42,360 --> 00:25:44,120
leavi ng h I m a sma ll tray
of m I lk chocolates
534
00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:45,280
a nd a n I nsu lti ng note.
535
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:48,160
The rest was easy.
536
00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:50,200
That is a n I ncred I ble story,
537
00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:52,520
worthy of the Sca rlet Pi m pernel h I mself.
538
00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:53,960
Well, I wou ld n't know.
539
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:57,160
I, on the other ha nd, wou ld.
540
00:25:57,240 --> 00:25:59,600
Beca use, you see, si r...
541
00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:09,480
(EN G LIS H ACCENT)
I a m the Sca rlet Pi m pernel.
542
00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:12,240
-U h-oh .
- BALD RICK: H ooray!
543
00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:15,680
-Good Lord ! Topper!
-Yes, You r H ig h ness.
544
00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:18,400
But egads a nd by j I ngo with d u m pli ngs,
545
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:20,800
stea k a nd kid neys,
a nd a good solid helpi ng of sprouts,
546
00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:22,240
I ca n't believe it!
547
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:24,520
You're the fellow
who has si ng le-ha nded ly
548
00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:26,760
saved a ll those da m n French ies
from the chop?
549
00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:29,360
N ot q u ite si ng le-ha nded ly, si r.
550
00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:32,200
I operated with the help
of my friend, Smed ley,
551
00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:34,960
but he seems to have d isa ppea red
for the moment,
552
00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:37,640
slig htly mysteriously.
553
00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:40,080
-Sh ut u p, Ba ld rick.
-Yes, Mr Blackadder.
554
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:44,040
So Blackadder rescued
the Sca rlet Pi m pernel.
555
00:26:44,120 --> 00:26:46,840
- N o, si r, he d id not.
- Eh?
556
00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:50,200
Prepa re you rself for a story
of d ishonou r a nd deceit
557
00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:53,440
that wi ll ma ke you r stomach tu rn.
558
00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:55,480
Th is is I nteresti ng,
isn't it, Blackadder?
559
00:26:57,200 --> 00:26:58,720
N ot on ly that,
560
00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:01,640
but I trust it wi ll lead
to the I m prison ment of a ma n
561
00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:04,920
who is a lia r, a bou nder a nd a cad.
562
00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:09,160
Oh, bravo,
563
00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:12,120
beca use we hate lia rs,
bou nders a nd cads, don't we, Blackadder?
564
00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:14,600
Genera lly spea ki ng, yes, si r.
565
00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:18,040
But perha ps before
Lord Topper sta rts to ta lk,
566
00:27:18,120 --> 00:27:20,800
he m ig ht li ke a g lass of wi ne.
567
00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:24,000
- H e's looki ng a little sha ken .
-Sha ken, but not sti rred.
568
00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:28,960
It a ll bega n last week.
569
00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:31,880
I was sitti ng I n Mrs Migg I ns'
coffee shop when ...
570
00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:34,680
Oh, God!
571
00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:39,400
All th is treachery is so depressi ng.
572
00:27:39,480 --> 00:27:43,360
I mea n, the whole th I ng
j ust ma kes you I ncred I bly a ng ry!
573
00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:47,040
And it j ust ma kes you wa nt to...
574
00:27:47,120 --> 00:27:50,440
N ice wa istcoat, You r Majesty.
575
00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:54,000
I' m sorry, I've com pletely forgotten
what I was ta lki ng a bout.
576
00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:56,040
A story of d ishonou r a nd deceit...
577
00:27:56,120 --> 00:27:59,200
Oh, that's a g reat story!
That's g reat!
578
00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:01,960
Oh, that's a wonderfu I story!
579
00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:03,760
Let me j ust j u m p I nto the corner fi rst.
580
00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:10,480
Roast my ra isi ns! H e's popped it!
581
00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:13,760
I say, Blackadder, do you th I n k
he rea lly was the Sca rlet Pi m pernel?
582
00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:17,080
Well, j udg I ng from the rid icu lous
ostentatiousness of h is death,
583
00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:18,880
I wou ld say that he was.
584
00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:20,720
Well, then, that's a da m n sha me,
585
00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:23,720
beca use I wa nted to g ive h I m
th is enormous posta I order.
586
00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:25,160
Please, si r, let me fi n ish.
587
00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:28,160
I wou ld say that he wasn't.
588
00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:32,560
You see, the Sca rlet Pi m pernel
wou ld never, ever revea I h is identity.
589
00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:34,920
That's h is g reat secret.
590
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:37,400
So what you're actua lly looki ng for
591
00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:39,920
is someone who has,
say, j ust been to Fra nce
592
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:41,800
a nd rescued a n a ristocrat,
593
00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:44,360
but when asked,
"Are you the Sca rlet Pi m pernel?"
594
00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:46,760
H e replies, "Absolutely not. "
595
00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:50,440
But, wa it a m I n ute !
Blackadder, you've j ust been to Fra nce,
596
00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:53,240
a nd you've rescued a French a ristocrat.
597
00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:56,400
Oh, Blackadder,
a re you the Sca rlet Pi m pernel?
598
00:28:57,120 --> 00:28:59,120
Absolutely not, si r.
599
00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:02,160
H ooray!
49419
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