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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,160 --> 00:00:04,920 (TH EME MUSIC P LAYI N G) 2 00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:39,000 Ooh, la, la ! (LAUG HI N G) 3 00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:43,920 -Ah, good morn I ng, Mrs Migg I ns. -BonJour, monsieurl 4 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:45,040 What? 5 00:00:45,120 --> 00:00:47,960 BonJour, monsieurl It's French. 6 00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:52,760 So is eati ng frogs, cruelty to geese, a nd u ri nati ng I n the street. 7 00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:55,320 But that's no reason to I nflict it on the rest of us. 8 00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:57,960 But French is a ll the fash ion! 9 00:00:58,040 --> 00:01:00,360 My coffee shop is fu ll of French ies. 10 00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:04,320 And it's a ll beca use of that wonderfu I Sca rlet Pi m pernel! 11 00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:06,880 The Sca rlet Pi m pernel is not wonderfu I, Mrs Migg I ns. 12 00:01:06,960 --> 00:01:09,200 There is no reason whatsoever to ad m I re someone 13 00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:12,840 for fi lli ng London with a load of ga rlic-chewi ng French toffs 14 00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:15,680 cryi ng "Ooh-la-la " a nd looki ng for sym pathy a ll the ti me 15 00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:18,160 j ust beca use thei r fathers had thei r heads cut off! 16 00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:21,160 I'll have a cu p of coffee a nd some shepherd's pie, please. 17 00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:24,440 Oh ! We don't serve pies a ny more. 18 00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:28,480 My French clientele consider pies u ncouth. 19 00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:30,720 Well, I ha rd ly th I n k that a nation that eats sna I ls 20 00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:34,000 a nd wou ld go to bed with the kitchen si n k if it put on a tutu 21 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:36,480 is I n a ny position to preach couth ness! 22 00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:37,880 So what is on the men u? 23 00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:39,600 Well, today's hot choice, 24 00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:41,960 is Ch icken Pi m pernel I n a Sca rlet sa uce. 25 00:01:42,040 --> 00:01:44,480 Sca rlet Ch icken I n a Pi m pernel sa uce, 26 00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:47,600 or h uge suspicious-looki ng sa usages 27 00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:49,760 I n a Sca rlet Pi m pernel sa uce. 28 00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:51,840 What exactly is Sca rlet Pi m pernel sa uce? 29 00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:55,720 You ta ke a la rge, ri pe frog, sq ueeze it... 30 00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:58,720 Yes, yes, a ll rig ht. I' m off to the pu b. 31 00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:01,000 -Ah, BonJour, monsieurl -Sod off. 32 00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:06,000 (CAT MEOWI N G) 33 00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:07,920 (CAT YOWLI N G) 34 00:02:09,920 --> 00:02:12,160 Oh, si r, poor little Mi ld red the cat! 35 00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:13,720 What's he ever done to you? 36 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,000 It is the way of the world, Ba ld rick. 37 00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:16,680 The a bused a lways kick downwa rds. 38 00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:19,560 I' m a n noyed a nd so I kick the cat, the cat... 39 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,520 - (SQU EAKI N G) -... pou nces on the mouse, 40 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:22,960 -a nd fi na lly the mouse.. . -Arg h! 41 00:02:23,040 --> 00:02:24,320 ... bites you on the beh I nd. 42 00:02:25,640 --> 00:02:27,400 -What do I do? - N oth I ng. 43 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:30,240 You a re last I n God's g reat cha I n. 44 00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:34,040 U n less of cou rse, there's a n ea rwig a rou nd that you 'd li ke to victi m ise. 45 00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:35,760 Ba ld rick, what's ha ppened to you r nose? 46 00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:37,080 N ice, I n n it? 47 00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:39,280 N o, it isn 't. It's revolti ng. 48 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:40,880 Oh, I'll ta ke it off then. 49 00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:44,760 Ba ld rick, why a re you wea ri ng a fa lse boi I? 50 00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:47,800 What a re we to expect next? 51 00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:51,120 A be a uty wa rt? A cosmetic verruca? 52 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:55,760 -It's a Sca rlet Pi m ple, si r. - Rea lly? 53 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:57,960 Yea h, they're a ll the rage down ou r way. 54 00:02:58,040 --> 00:03:00,400 Everyone wa nts to express thei r ad m I ration 55 00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:03,760 for the g reat Pi m ple a nd h is bri llia nt d isg u ises. 56 00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:06,080 (SI N GI N G) They seek him here They seek him there 57 00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:08,440 Those Frenchies seek him everywhere 58 00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:10,440 Is he in heaven or is he in hell 59 00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:13,560 And what's that revolti ng ga rlic smell? 60 00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:15,600 Ba ld rick, what has th is fellow done? 61 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:17,280 Apa rt from pop over to Fra nce, 62 00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:20,560 to g ra b a few French nobs from the I neffectua I clutches 63 00:03:20,640 --> 00:03:23,800 of some ma lnou rished, wh I ngei ng lefties, 64 00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:25,720 ta ki ng the opportu n ity, wh I le there, no dou bt, 65 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:27,680 to pick u p some rea lly good chea p wi ne 66 00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:30,920 a nd some of thei r ma rvellous open fru it fla ns! 67 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:34,000 Doesn't a nyone know? We hate the French . We fig ht wa rs aga I nst them. 68 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:37,200 Did a ll those men d ie I n va I n on the field of Ag I ncou rt? 69 00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:40,720 Was the ma n who bu rnt Joa n of Arc si m ply wasti ng good matches? 70 00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:43,320 (B ELL RI N GI N G) 71 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:47,000 Ah, H is Roya I H ig h ness, the Pi n head of Wa les su m mons me. 72 00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:49,600 You know, I feel a lmost well-d isposed towa rds h I m th is morn I ng. 73 00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:52,320 Utter ch u m p thoug h he may be, at least he's not French. 74 00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:57,680 Un toast! Encore un toast! I say. 75 00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:01,720 -Le PimPernel Scarletl - BOTH : Le PimPernel Scarletl 76 00:04:03,240 --> 00:04:05,480 Ah ! Le Adder Noirl Come you I n! 77 00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:11,600 Th is is the fellow to ask, you cha ps. 78 00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:14,800 My butler. Terri bly clever. Brig hter tha n a bra I n pie. 79 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:16,200 (LAUG HI N G HAUG HTI ) 80 00:04:16,280 --> 00:04:19,080 Ah, Blackadder, we're tryi ng to g uess who the Sca rlet Pi m pernel is, 81 00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:22,800 so we ca n send h I m a n enormous posta I order to express ou r ad m I ration. 82 00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:24,120 Any ideas? 83 00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:25,800 Well, I' m su re if you add ress the envelope to 84 00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:28,320 "The Biggest Show-off I n London ", it wou ld reach h I m eventua lly. 85 00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:29,720 Tish a nd pish! 86 00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:31,520 Gadzooks! Ma la rkey! 87 00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:33,600 H ow da re you say such a th I ng? 88 00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:36,440 Da m n you, si r, if you're not the worst ki nd of swi ne! 89 00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:38,600 Da m n that swi ne! 90 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:40,600 I' m sorry, si r. I was merely poi nti ng out 91 00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:43,800 that snea ki ng a ristocrats out from u nder the noses of French revolutiona ries 92 00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:45,880 is as a bout as d ifficu lt as putti ng on a hat. 93 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:49,080 Si n k me, si r, th is is treason! 94 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:51,160 The Sca rlet Pi m pernel is a hero. 95 00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:53,800 And the revolution is orchestrated by a ruth less ba nd 96 00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:55,440 of h ig h ly orga n ised ki llers! 97 00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:58,240 - Da m n them . - Da m n those orga n ised ki llers! 98 00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:01,520 George, if I remem ber rig htly, 99 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:03,920 we were j ust d iscussi ng the French Em bassy Ba ll 100 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:06,080 I n honou r of the exi led a ristocracy. 101 00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:07,440 We certa I n ly were. 102 00:05:07,520 --> 00:05:10,440 Where I I ntend to wea r the most mag n ificent pa I r of trousers 103 00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:14,720 ever to issue forth from the delicate ha nds of Messers Sn I bcock a nd Tu rkey, 104 00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:18,280 coutu riers to the very wea lthy a nd the extremely fat. 105 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:20,160 If the Pi m pernel does fi na lly revea I h I mself, 106 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:22,680 I don't wa nt to get ca ug ht out wea ri ng bori ng trousers. 107 00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:25,520 Da m n those bori ng trousers! 108 00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:30,320 Well, what say we bet you r cocksu re domestic 1 ,000 g u I neas 109 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:33,280 that he ca n't go to Fra nce, rescue a n a ristocrat 110 00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:35,040 a nd present h I m at the ba ll. 111 00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:39,360 Ha ! That's tu rned you wh ite, hasn't it? 112 00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:41,800 That's frig htened you, you li ly-livered, 113 00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:44,680 ca ra mel-kid neyed, custa rd-colou red cad. 114 00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:48,680 - N ot so buoya nt now, a re you, eh? Eh? - Eh? 115 00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:50,840 On the contra ry, si r. I'll j ust go a nd pack. 116 00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:52,240 Oh. 117 00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:55,400 Perha ps Lord Smed ley a nd Lord Topper wi ll accom pa ny me. 118 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,240 I' m su re it'll be a fa I rly easy tri p. 119 00:05:57,320 --> 00:06:00,400 The odd death defyi ng lea p, a nd a modest a mou nt of denta I tortu re. 120 00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:02,120 Wa nt to come? 121 00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:05,040 -Oh, no ! Da m n ! -Oh, no ! Da m n! 122 00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:10,400 Any day now, I've got a n a ppoi ntment with my doctor. 123 00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:14,360 I've got a bit of a sn iffle com I ng on, I ca n feel it I n my bones. 124 00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:16,360 Da m n bones, da m n bones, da m n ... 125 00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:19,240 What a bout next week? 126 00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:21,560 Oh, come on, you cha ps, get you r d ia ries out, come on. 127 00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:22,800 Alrig ht. 128 00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:23,960 - Da m n . - Da m n. 129 00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:25,520 -I've left it beh I nd ! - Beh I nd! 130 00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:29,480 And, besides, I've j ust remem bered, my father's j ust d ied. 131 00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:32,800 I've got to be at h is fu nera I I n 10 m I n utes. Da m n sorry! 132 00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:34,760 Good bye, you r H ig h ness! 133 00:06:34,840 --> 00:06:36,760 Oh, da m n! 134 00:06:36,840 --> 00:06:38,680 I' m the best ma n. 135 00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:42,880 Da m n that dead father! Da m n h I m ! Good bye. 136 00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:44,360 See you at the ba ll. 137 00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:47,920 Oh, what a sha me they were so busy. 138 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,000 It wou ld have been lovely to have had them with us. 139 00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:52,320 -Us? -Yes. 140 00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:54,320 -You're com I ng, si r? -Oh, certa I n ly. 141 00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:55,480 Ah. 142 00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:57,320 And noth I ng I ca n say 143 00:06:57,400 --> 00:07:00,480 a bout the m I nd-bend I ng horrors of the revolution cou ld put you off? 144 00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:01,840 Absolutely not! 145 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:03,600 N ow, come on, Blackadder, let's get packi ng. 146 00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:06,560 I wa nt to look my best for those fa bu lous French bi rds. 147 00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:09,720 Si r, the type of women cu rrently favou red I n Fra nce 148 00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:12,680 a re tooth less crones who j ust cackle I nsa nely. 149 00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:15,640 Oh, ig nore that, they're j ust playi ng ha rd to get. 150 00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:21,680 By removi ng a ll thei r teeth, goi ng mad a nd agei ng 40 yea rs? 151 00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:23,600 That's rig ht, the little teasers! 152 00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:27,640 Well, come on, u m.. . I th I n k a blend of si lks a nd sati ns. 153 00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:28,880 I fea r not, si r. 154 00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:31,320 If we a re to sta nd a ny cha nce of su rviva I I n Fra nce, 155 00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:34,480 we sha ll have to d ress as the smelliest low-life I mag I na ble. 156 00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:36,080 Oh, yes, what sort of th I ng? 157 00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:39,720 Well, si r, let me show you ou r Pa ris Collection. 158 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:43,280 Ba ld rick is wea ri ng a sheep's bladder jacket, 159 00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:46,520 with match I ng d u ng-ba ll accessories. 160 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:50,080 Ha I r by Crazy Meg of Bed la m Ha I r. 161 00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:53,360 N otice how the overpoweri ng a roma of rotti ng pi lcha rds 162 00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:56,280 has been woven cu n n I ng ly I nto the ensem ble. 163 00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:59,520 Ba ld rick, when d id you last cha nge you r trousers? 164 00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:02,920 -I've never cha nged my trousers. -Tha n k you. 165 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:05,080 You see the a ncient Greeks, si r, wrote I n legend 166 00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:08,560 of a terri ble conta I ner I n wh ich a ll the evi ls of the world were tra pped. 167 00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:11,920 H ow prophetic they were. All they got wrong was the na me. 168 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:14,000 They ca lled it " Pa ndora's Box", 169 00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:16,440 when, of cou rse, they mea nt " Ba ld rick's Trousers". 170 00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:21,840 It certa I n ly ca n get a bit wh iffy, there's no dou bt a bout that. 171 00:08:21,920 --> 00:08:23,720 We a re told that when the box was opened, 172 00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:28,040 the whole world tu rned to da rkness beca use of Pa ndora's fata I cu riosity. 173 00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:31,200 I cha rge you now, Ba ld rick, for the good of a ll ma n ki nd, 174 00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:34,760 never a llow cu riosity to lead you to open you r trousers. 175 00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:38,760 N oth I ng of I nterest lies therei n. 176 00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:41,920 H owever, You r H ig h ness, it is trousers exactly li ke these 177 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:44,880 that you wi ll have to wea r if we a re to pass safely I nto Fra nce. 178 00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:48,560 (CLEARS TH ROAT) Yes, well, you know, 179 00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:50,800 on second thoug ht, I th I n k I'm ig ht g ive th is whole th I ng a m iss. 180 00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:52,200 You know, my tu m my's playi ng u p a bit. 181 00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:55,720 Ah, wish I cou ld come, but j ust not poss with th is tu m. 182 00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:57,840 I u ndersta nd perfectly, si r. 183 00:08:57,920 --> 00:09:01,480 Also, the cha nces of me scori ng if I look a nd smell li ke h I m a re zero. 184 00:09:01,560 --> 00:09:02,640 That's true, si r. 185 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:05,280 We sha ll retu rn presently to bid you fa rewell. 186 00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:08,960 Mr B, I've been havi ng second thoug hts a bout th is tri p to Fra nce. 187 00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:10,240 Oh, why? 188 00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:12,160 Well, as fa r as I ca n see, 189 00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:13,400 looki ng a nd smelli ng li ke th is 190 00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:15,400 there's not m uch cha nce of me scori ng, either. 191 00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:21,200 -Well, Blackadder, th is is it. -Yes, si r. 192 00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:24,040 If I don't ma ke it back, please write to my mother 193 00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:26,000 a nd tell her that I've been a live a ll the ti me, 194 00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:28,680 it's j ust that I cou ld n't be bothered to get I n touch with the old bat. 195 00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:31,400 Well, of cou rse, old ma n . It's the very least I cou ld do. 196 00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:32,960 We m ust leave at once. 197 00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:34,080 The shadows lengthen 198 00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:36,440 a nd we have a long a nd a rd uous jou rney a head of us. 199 00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:41,080 Fa rewell, dea r master a nd, da re I say, friend. 200 00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:45,200 Fa rewell, brave li berator, a nd da re I say it, butler. 201 00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:53,200 Rig ht, stick the kettle on, Ba lders. 202 00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:54,680 What, a ren't we goi ng to Fra nce? 203 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:56,200 Of cou rse we're not goi ng to Fra nce. 204 00:09:56,280 --> 00:09:58,000 It's I ncred I bly da ngerous there. 205 00:09:58,080 --> 00:09:59,880 Well, how a re you goi ng to wi n you r bet? 206 00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:03,480 As a lways, Ba ld rick, by the use of the la rge th I ng between my ea rs. 207 00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:05,560 Oh, you r nose. 208 00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:10,680 N o, Ba ld rick, my bra I n. 209 00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:13,240 All we do is lie low here for a week, 210 00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:16,240 then go to Mrs Migg I ns', pick u p a ny old French a ristocrat, 211 00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:18,200 d rag h I m th roug h a pudd le, ta ke h I m to the ba ll 212 00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:20,040 a nd cla I m ou r 1 ,000 g u I neas. 213 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,360 Well, what if the Pri nce fi nds us here? 214 00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:25,480 H e ca n't fi nd h is own fly-buttons. Let a lone the kitchen door. 215 00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:29,800 What a pa I r of trousers! 216 00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:35,040 I sha ll be the belle of the Em bassy Ba ll! 217 00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:37,880 N ow, how do you put them on? Blackadder! 218 00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:40,760 Oh, no, da m n ! H e's gone to Fra nce. 219 00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:44,120 Well, I'll do it myself. Shou ld n't be too d ifficu lt. Erm ... 220 00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:45,480 Er... 221 00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:51,840 Well, Ba ld rick, what a very pleasa nt week. 222 00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:53,720 We m ust do th is more often. 223 00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:55,440 Yes, I sha ll certa I n ly choose 224 00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:58,520 revolutiona ry Fra nce for my holiday aga I n next yea r. 225 00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:01,320 N ow, ti me to go to work. 226 00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:04,840 Off to Mrs Migg I ns' to pick u p a ny old French toff. 227 00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:07,360 (BAN GI N G) 228 00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:10,040 What do you th I n k that is? 229 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:11,920 Well, if I was feeli ng ma licious, 230 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:14,640 I'd say it's the Pri nce sti ll tryi ng to put h is trousers on after a week. 231 00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:17,360 Oh, da m n! 232 00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:21,080 Ah, Mrs Migg I ns. 233 00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:23,760 I'd li ke a massive plate of pigs' trotters, 234 00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:26,320 frogs' legs, a nd sna I ls' ea rs, please, 235 00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:29,720 a ll d renched I n you r lovely Sca rlet Pi m pernel sa uce. 236 00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:32,640 N ot so hosti le to the French ies now, Mr B. 237 00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:35,720 Certa I n ly not, Mrs M. I'd sooner be hosti le to my own serva nt. 238 00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:41,880 In fact, I ca me here specifica lly to meet lovely French ies. 239 00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:45,640 Well, vive to that a nd a n ecla I r for both of us! 240 00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:48,000 Vive, I ndeed . N ow, what I' m looki ng for, Mrs M, 241 00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:49,840 is a pa rticu la r ki nd of French ie, 242 00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:52,320 na mely one who is tra nspa rently of noble blood, 243 00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:53,960 but a lso short on cash. 244 00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:56,120 Oh, I've got j ust the fellow for you, 245 00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:58,000 over there by the wi ndow, 246 00:11:58,080 --> 00:11:59,680 the Comte de Frou- Frou. 247 00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:02,920 H e's pretty down on h is luck, 248 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:05,320 a nd he's made that horse's wi lly last a ll morn I ng. 249 00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:11,280 We have struck ga rlic! 250 00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:17,520 - N ow you ca n have some lu nch, Ba ld rick. -Tha n k you. 251 00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:21,840 Le Comte de Frou- Frou, I believe. 252 00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:23,320 Eh? 253 00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:26,360 - Do you spea k Eng lish? -A little. 254 00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:28,640 Yes, when you say "a little" what exactly do you mea n? 255 00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:30,400 I mea n, ca n we ta lk, or a re we goi ng to spend 256 00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:32,520 the rest of the afternoon aski ng each other the way to the beach 257 00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:34,080 I n very loud voices? 258 00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:38,680 Ah, no. I ca n order coffee, dea I with wa iters, 259 00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:41,640 ma ke sexy ch it-chat with g I rls, that type of th I ng. 260 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,200 Oh, good. 261 00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:44,920 Just don't ask me to ta ke a physiology class 262 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:46,240 or d I rect a lig ht opera. 263 00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:47,920 N o, I won't. 264 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:51,120 N ow, listen, Frou- Frou, wou ld you li ke to ea rn some money? 265 00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:54,560 N o, I wou ld n 't. 266 00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:57,640 I wou ld li ke other people to ea rn it a nd then g ive it to me. 267 00:12:57,720 --> 00:13:00,280 Just li ke I n Fra nce I n the good old days. 268 00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:03,320 Yes, but th is is a cha nce to retu rn to the good old days. 269 00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:06,160 Oh, how I wou ld love that! 270 00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:09,600 I hate th is life ! The food is fi lthy! 271 00:13:09,680 --> 00:13:13,200 Th is h uge sa usage is very suspicious. 272 00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:15,600 If I d id n't know better, I'd say it was a horse's... 273 00:13:15,680 --> 00:13:17,480 Yes, yes, a ll rig ht. N ow, listen. 274 00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:19,520 The pla n is th is. 275 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:22,760 I have a bet on with someone that I ca n get a French ma n out of Pa ris. 276 00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:25,560 I wa nt you to be that French ma n. 277 00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:28,200 All you have to do is come to the em bassy with me, 278 00:13:28,320 --> 00:13:29,600 say that I rescued you, 279 00:13:29,680 --> 00:13:32,080 a nd then wa lk away with 50 g u I neas 280 00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:34,720 a nd a ll the vol-au-vents you ca n stuff I n you r pockets. 281 00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:38,760 -What do you say? -It wi ll be a pleasu re. 282 00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:42,920 If there's one th I ng we a ristocrats enjoy it's a fa bu lous pa rty. 283 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:45,640 Oh, the m usic! Oh, the la ug hter! 284 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,600 If on ly I'd broug ht my mongoose costu me. 285 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:58,960 Yes, well, obviously it hasn't rea lly got goi ng yet. 286 00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:00,920 I th I n k that is a bit of a n u nderstatement, Frou- Frou. 287 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:04,120 I've been at a utopsies with more pa rty atmosphere. 288 00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:08,440 Don't worry! In a moment we wi ll hea r the sou nd of m usic a nd ha ppy la ug hter. 289 00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:12,240 (LAUG HI N G MENACI N G ) 290 00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:16,600 (BOTH S P EAKI N G FREN CH ) 291 00:14:16,680 --> 00:14:17,760 Ah, good even I ng, my ma n. 292 00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:20,400 - Do you spea k Eng lish? -A little. 293 00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:23,360 Good, well j ust ta ke me to the Am bassador then, wi ll you? 294 00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:25,560 Pardon? 295 00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:29,320 I have rescued a n a ristocrat 296 00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:33,320 from the clutches of the evi I revolutiona ries. 297 00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:36,240 Please ta ke me to the Am bassador. 298 00:14:36,920 --> 00:14:39,120 N o, I won't. 299 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:42,840 I a m a n evi I revolutiona ry 300 00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:46,680 a nd I have m u rdered the Am bassador 301 00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:50,600 a nd tu rned h I m I nto paté. 302 00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:56,480 -Ah . -And you, a risto-pig, a re tra pped. 303 00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:57,800 Pig? Ha! 304 00:14:57,880 --> 00:15:01,320 You wi ll reg ret you r I nsolence, revolutiona ry dog. 305 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:02,640 Dog? Ha! 306 00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:05,120 You wi ll reg ret you r a rroga nce, roya list sna ke. 307 00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:06,640 Sna ke? Ha! 308 00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:08,440 I' m sorry to I nterru pt th is very I nteresti ng d iscussion, 309 00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:10,240 but, rea lly, it is none of my busi ness, 310 00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:12,040 so I th I n k I'll be on my way. Come on, Ba ld rick. 311 00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:15,880 Ah, a h, a h. N ot so fast, Eng lish! 312 00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:20,880 In rescu I ng th is boite de sti n ky weed, 313 00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:25,320 you have attem pted to pervert revolutiona ry j ustice. 314 00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:28,920 Do you know what they do to people who do that? 315 00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:31,760 They're g iven a little present a nd a llowed to go free? 316 00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:33,480 N o. 317 00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:36,000 They're smacked a nd told not to be na ug hty, but basica lly let off. 318 00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:38,320 - N o. -I th I n k I know. 319 00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:40,720 -What? -They're put I n prison for the n ig ht 320 00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:42,560 a nd bruta lly g u I lloti ned I n the morn I ng. 321 00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:43,760 Well done, Ba ld rick. 322 00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:48,920 You r little g nome is correct, monsieur. 323 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:52,400 Gentlemen ! Welcome to the last day of you r life! 324 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:56,040 H ow da re you, you fi lthy weasel. 325 00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:57,160 Weasel? Ha! 326 00:15:57,240 --> 00:15:59,240 You're one to ta lk, a risto-wa rthog. 327 00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:01,120 -Wa rthog? Ha ! - Ha! 328 00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:05,040 Excuse me, Frou- Frou . Look, mate, me old mate... 329 00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:06,440 We're both worki ng class. 330 00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:08,920 We both hate these rich basta rds. I mea n, come on. 331 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:10,160 Come on, me old m ucker. 332 00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:12,600 Just let me go, you've got noth I ng aga I nst me. 333 00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:14,560 On the contra ry. 334 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:17,760 I hate you Eng lish with you r bori ng trousers 335 00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:19,760 a nd you r sh I ny toi let pa per 336 00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:25,320 a nd you r rid icu lous preconception that French men a re g reat lovers. 337 00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:27,800 I' m French a nd I' m h u ng li ke a ba by ca rrot 338 00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:30,080 a nd a cou ple of Petits Pois. 339 00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:34,600 Fa rewell, old m ucker, a nd death to the a ristos! 340 00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:37,040 - Death to the a ristos! -Sh ut u p, mousebra I n! 341 00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:42,400 Onsieur, why do you waste you r words on th is scu m? 342 00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:43,800 Have no fea r! 343 00:16:43,880 --> 00:16:48,240 -The Sca rlet Pi m pernel wi ll save us. - Ha ! Some hope. 344 00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:50,680 The Pi m pernel is the most overrated h u ma n bei ng 345 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:55,120 si nce J udas Isca riot won the A. D. 31 Best Disci ple Com petition. 346 00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:59,360 Well, if he shou ld fa I I us, here, 347 00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:01,640 I have these su icide pi lls. 348 00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:04,560 One for me, one for you, 349 00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:08,080 a nd one for the dwa rf. 350 00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:12,160 -Say tha n k you, Ba ld rick. -Tha n k you, Mr Frou. 351 00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:15,160 (KEYS JI N G LI N G) 352 00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:18,640 -Ah, the Pi m pernel! - H ooray! 353 00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:21,400 Ah, the Am bassador, hooray. 354 00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:25,480 H m m, I've got noth I ng to do. 355 00:17:26,360 --> 00:17:29,120 So I th I n k I wi ll tortu re... 356 00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:32,280 You, a risto-mong rel! 357 00:17:32,360 --> 00:17:36,280 Mong rel? Ha ! I look forwa rd to it, proleta ria n sku n k! 358 00:17:36,360 --> 00:17:37,640 Sku n k? Ha! 359 00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:39,680 We'll see a bout that, a ristocratic ha ppypota m us! 360 00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:44,240 Ha ppypota m us? Ha ! We'll soon see who's the ha ppypota m us. 361 00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:46,160 I' m g lad to say, 362 00:17:46,240 --> 00:17:50,040 I don't th I n k you ' ll be need I ng those pi lls, Mr B. 363 00:17:50,120 --> 00:17:51,440 Am I j u m pi ng the g u n, Ba ld rick, 364 00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:54,120 or a re the words "I have a cu n n I ng pla n " 365 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:56,160 ma rch I ng with I ll-deserved confidence 366 00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:57,960 I n the d I rection of th is conversation? 367 00:17:58,040 --> 00:17:59,520 They certa I n ly a re! 368 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:02,080 Forg ive me if I don't j u m p u p a nd down with g lee, 369 00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:04,480 you r record I n th is depa rtment is not exactly 100%. 370 00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:08,920 -So, what's the pla n? -We do noth I ng. 371 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,040 Yep, that's a nother world-beater. 372 00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:14,400 Wa it, I haven't fi n ished. 373 00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:18,760 We do noth I ng u nti I ou r heads have actua lly been cut off. 374 00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:23,640 And then we spri ng I nto action? 375 00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:25,760 Exactly! 376 00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:28,160 You know how when you cut a ch icken's head off, 377 00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:32,200 -it ru ns rou nd a nd rou nd the fa rmya rd? -Yea h. 378 00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:35,560 Well, we wa it u nti I ou r heads have been cut off, 379 00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:37,840 then we ru n rou nd a nd rou nd the fa rmya rd, 380 00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:40,120 out the fa rm gate a nd esca pe. 381 00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:41,640 What do you th I n k? 382 00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:44,720 My opi n ions a re rather d ifficu lt to express I n words. 383 00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:47,280 So, perha ps I ca n put it th is way... 384 00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:49,880 It doesn't rea lly matter, 385 00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:52,800 cos the Sca rlet Pi m pernel wi ll save us, a nyway. 386 00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:54,080 N o, he won't, Ba ld rick. 387 00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:57,720 Either I th I n k u p a n idea, or tomorrow we d ie, 388 00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:00,280 wh ich, Ba ld rick, I have to tell you, I have no I ntention of doi ng, 389 00:19:00,360 --> 00:19:02,720 beca use I wa nt to be you ng a nd wi ld, 390 00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:05,200 a nd then I wa nt to be m idd le-aged a nd rich, 391 00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:07,320 a nd then I wa nt to be old a nd a n noy people 392 00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:08,520 by pretend I ng that I' m deaf. 393 00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:12,080 Just be q u iet a nd let me th I n k. 394 00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:20,160 - BALD RICK: I ca n't sleep, Mr Blackadder. -I sa id, sh ut u p! 395 00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:23,200 I' m so excited to th I n k that the Sca rlet Pi m pernel 396 00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:24,560 wi ll be here at a ny moment. 397 00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:27,160 I wish you 'd forget th is rid icu lous fa ntasy, Ba ld rick. 398 00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:29,360 Even if he d id tu rn u p, the g ua rds wou ld be woken 399 00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:31,320 by the scra pi ng noise 400 00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:34,320 as he tried to sq ueeze h is massive, swollen head th roug h the door. 401 00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:37,640 I cou ld n't sleep when I was little. 402 00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:39,200 You sti ll a re little, Ba ld rick. 403 00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:41,720 Yea h, well, when I was even littler. 404 00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:44,800 See, we used to live I n th is ha u nted hovel. 405 00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:47,560 Every n ig ht, my fa m I ly were trou bled 406 00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:51,360 by a visitation from th is d isg usti ng g hou I. 407 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:53,520 It was terri ble. 408 00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:55,960 Fi rst there was th is u n holy smell, 409 00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:59,880 then th is ti ny, cla m my, ha I ry creatu re 410 00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:02,960 wou ld materia lise I n the bed between them. 411 00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:05,280 Fortu nately, I cou ld never see it myself. 412 00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:09,000 Yes, tell me, Ba ld rick, when you left home, 413 00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:12,000 d id th is repu lsive entity mysteriously d isa ppea r? 414 00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:15,800 That very day. 415 00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:17,560 I th I n k then that the mystery is solved. 416 00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:19,520 N ow, sh ut u p. 417 00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:22,880 Either I th I n k of a n idea, or tomorrow we meet ou r ma ker. 418 00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:27,040 In my case, God . In you r case, God knows, 419 00:20:27,120 --> 00:20:29,360 but I'd be su rprised if he's won a ny desig n awa rds. 420 00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:32,960 Wa it a m I n ute, 421 00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:35,080 -I've thoug ht of a pla n ! - BALD RICK: H ooray! 422 00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:37,120 B LACKAD D ER: Also, I thoug ht of a way to get you to sleep. 423 00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:38,920 - BALD RICK: What? Ow! - (TH U D DI N G) 424 00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:44,880 Morn I ng, scu m . Did we sleep well? 425 00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:46,200 Li ke a tot, tha n k you. 426 00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:48,760 But, by j I m I ny, you m ust be feeli ng th I rsty 427 00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:50,560 after you r long n ig ht's bruta lity. 428 00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:52,040 Dri n k? 429 00:20:52,120 --> 00:20:54,720 Oh, non, merci, not wh I le I' m on d uty. 430 00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:57,880 Ah, perha ps later. 431 00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:00,720 For you, monsieur, there is no later. 432 00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:03,280 Beca use gentlemen, I a m proud to I ntrod uce 433 00:21:03,360 --> 00:21:06,640 Fra nce's most vicious woma n, 434 00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:08,760 u nexpected ly a rrived from Pa ris th is morn I ng. 435 00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:12,000 Wou ld you please welcome Mada me Gu I lloti ne herself! 436 00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:14,640 (CACKLI N G) 437 00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:21,640 (S H RI LL VOICE) Are these the Eng lish pigs? 438 00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:22,880 Yes, that's us. 439 00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:25,400 Leave them with me, onsieurAmbassadeur. 440 00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:29,520 I I ntend to tortu re them I n a ma n ner so u n be a ra bly g ruesome, 441 00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:32,600 even you wi ll not be a ble to sta nd it! 442 00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:34,560 I don't th I n k I wi ll have a problem, madame. 443 00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:36,000 N o, you wi ll be sick. 444 00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:38,280 What if I stay for the fi rst few m I n utes 445 00:21:38,360 --> 00:21:39,840 a nd I'll leave if I' m feeli ng q ueasy. 446 00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:42,080 N o, you wi ll be sick I m med iately. 447 00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:44,520 What if I a m sick q u ietly, I n a bag? 448 00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:47,000 I mea n, what is I n you r m I nd? 449 00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:48,560 (MUMB LI N G) 450 00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:50,720 (RETCHI N G) 451 00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:56,000 So ! Scu m! 452 00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:59,520 Prepa re to be I n pa I n! 453 00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:01,400 Yes, certa I n ly. 454 00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:05,480 But fi rst, perha ps, a toast to you r be a uty. 455 00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:08,280 Oh, tha n k you. Okay. 456 00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:12,120 Cheers. 457 00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:15,920 So I expect you were expecti ng to be rescued, h u h? 458 00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:18,080 H u h, some bloody hope. 459 00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:20,840 (N O RMAL VOICE) On the contra ry! I' m j ust sorry I' m so late. 460 00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:22,520 What? 461 00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:25,440 Yes, Gentlemen, I have come to ta ke you to freedom! 462 00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:28,120 - H ooray! -My God, Smed ley! 463 00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:29,880 But I thoug ht you were a n a bsolute fathead. 464 00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:32,880 N o, j ust a da m n fi ne actor! 465 00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:36,760 Tha n k God I got here before you took a ny of those awfu I su icide pi lls! 466 00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:42,880 Yes, I su ppose, if someone had ta ken one 467 00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:45,960 a nd wished that he had n 't, he'd be a ble to do someth I ng a bout it. 468 00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:48,760 N o, no, they're very odd th I ngs, you see. 469 00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:51,120 The sym ptoms a re most pecu lia r. 470 00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:55,320 Fi rst of a ll, the victi ms become very, very depressed. 471 00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:57,680 Oh, God! 472 00:22:57,760 --> 00:22:59,880 Th is whole revolution is so depressi ng, 473 00:22:59,960 --> 00:23:01,800 I mea n, someti mes I wonder why I bother. 474 00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:04,280 I mea n, I' m so lonely, a nd nobody loves me. 475 00:23:04,360 --> 00:23:06,200 And after the depression comes death? 476 00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:08,640 N o, after the depression comes the loss of tem per, 477 00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:10,320 you stuck-u p basta rd! 478 00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:12,400 -What a re you sta ri ng at? -Oh. 479 00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:16,000 And after the tem per comes death? 480 00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:20,360 N o ! After the tem per comes the, er... 481 00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:22,960 -Comes the, er.. . - Forgetfu lness? 482 00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:26,560 - Er, yes, that's it. Er, comes the.. . - Forgetfu lness. 483 00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:30,120 Yes, yes. Rig ht I n the m idd le of a th I ngy, 484 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:34,080 you com pletely forget what it was you.. . Oh, n ice pa I r of shoes! 485 00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:36,440 And after the forgetfu lness, you d ie? 486 00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:37,960 Oh, no ! I forgot one! 487 00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:41,560 After the forgetfu lness comes a moment of exq u isite ha ppi ness! 488 00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:44,600 J u m pi ng u p a nd down, a nd wavi ng you r a rms I n the a I r, 489 00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:49,120 a nd knowi ng that I n a m I n ute we're a ll goi ng to be free ! Free ! Free! 490 00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:51,920 -And then death? - N o, you j u m p I n the corner fi rst. 491 00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:58,720 - H ooray! It's the Sca rlet Pi m pernel! -Yes, Ba ld rick. 492 00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:01,760 -And you ki lled h I m ! -Yes, Ba ld rick. 493 00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:05,320 What's the bloody poi nt of bei ng the Sca rlet Pi m pernel 494 00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:08,480 if you're goi ng to fa ll for the old poisoned cu p routi ne? 495 00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:11,360 Sca rlet Pi m pernel, my foot. Sca rlet Git, more li ke it. 496 00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:14,000 Wa it! H ere's ou r cha nce to esca pe! 497 00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:15,760 But what a bout Mr Frou? 498 00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:17,880 Forget Frou- Frou. 499 00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:20,840 I wou ld n't pick my nose to save h is life. 500 00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:25,040 Ah, Frou- Frou, my old friend a nd com rade, what a re you doi ng here? 501 00:24:25,120 --> 00:24:27,560 I esca ped ! What ha ppened here? 502 00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:29,200 Oh, er, noth I ng, noth I ng. 503 00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:32,880 Er, I thoug ht for a moment the Sca rlet Pi m pernel had saved you. 504 00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:34,840 (LAUG HI N G) 505 00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:40,520 Ah, cha ps, good to see you. 506 00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:42,120 Just tryi ng on the new trousers. 507 00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:44,080 I retu rn, si r, as prom ised, 508 00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:48,080 plus one toff French a ristocrat fresh from the Basti lle. 509 00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:50,800 Ah, pleased to meet you, monsieur. Do sit down. 510 00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:52,640 Enchante. 511 00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:54,640 Da m n sorry a bout the revolution a nd a ll that ca per. 512 00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:56,200 Most awfu lly bad luck. 513 00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:58,520 So tell me, Blackadder, how the devi I d id you get h I m out? 514 00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:01,320 Si r, it's a n extraord I na ry ta le of cou rage a nd heroism 515 00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:03,120 wh ich I blush from telli ng myself, 516 00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:05,600 -but seei ng as there's no one else.. . -I cou ld try. 517 00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:09,000 We left Eng la nd I n good weather, 518 00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:11,080 but that was as fa r as ou r luck held. 519 00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:12,280 In the m idd le of Dover ha rbou r, 520 00:25:12,360 --> 00:25:14,360 we were struck by a tida I wave. 521 00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:16,480 And I was forced to swi m to Bou log ne 522 00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:19,800 with the u nconscious Ba ld rick tucked I nto my trousers. 523 00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:21,800 Then, we were ta ken to Pa ris, 524 00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:24,720 where I was su m ma ri ly tried a nd condem ned to death, 525 00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:27,120 a nd then h u ng by the la rger of my testicles 526 00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:28,800 from the wa lls of the Basti lle. 527 00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:31,360 It was then that I decided I had had enoug h. 528 00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:33,600 Bravo! 529 00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:36,040 I rescued the Cou nt, 530 00:25:36,120 --> 00:25:38,080 ki lled the g ua rds, j u m ped the moat, 531 00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:39,800 ra n to Versa I lles, 532 00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:42,280 where I cli m bed I nto Mr Robespierre's bed room, 533 00:25:42,360 --> 00:25:44,120 leavi ng h I m a sma ll tray of m I lk chocolates 534 00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:45,280 a nd a n I nsu lti ng note. 535 00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:48,160 The rest was easy. 536 00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:50,200 That is a n I ncred I ble story, 537 00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:52,520 worthy of the Sca rlet Pi m pernel h I mself. 538 00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:53,960 Well, I wou ld n't know. 539 00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:57,160 I, on the other ha nd, wou ld. 540 00:25:57,240 --> 00:25:59,600 Beca use, you see, si r... 541 00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:09,480 (EN G LIS H ACCENT) I a m the Sca rlet Pi m pernel. 542 00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:12,240 -U h-oh . - BALD RICK: H ooray! 543 00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:15,680 -Good Lord ! Topper! -Yes, You r H ig h ness. 544 00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:18,400 But egads a nd by j I ngo with d u m pli ngs, 545 00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:20,800 stea k a nd kid neys, a nd a good solid helpi ng of sprouts, 546 00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:22,240 I ca n't believe it! 547 00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:24,520 You're the fellow who has si ng le-ha nded ly 548 00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:26,760 saved a ll those da m n French ies from the chop? 549 00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:29,360 N ot q u ite si ng le-ha nded ly, si r. 550 00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:32,200 I operated with the help of my friend, Smed ley, 551 00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:34,960 but he seems to have d isa ppea red for the moment, 552 00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:37,640 slig htly mysteriously. 553 00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:40,080 -Sh ut u p, Ba ld rick. -Yes, Mr Blackadder. 554 00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:44,040 So Blackadder rescued the Sca rlet Pi m pernel. 555 00:26:44,120 --> 00:26:46,840 - N o, si r, he d id not. - Eh? 556 00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:50,200 Prepa re you rself for a story of d ishonou r a nd deceit 557 00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:53,440 that wi ll ma ke you r stomach tu rn. 558 00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:55,480 Th is is I nteresti ng, isn't it, Blackadder? 559 00:26:57,200 --> 00:26:58,720 N ot on ly that, 560 00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:01,640 but I trust it wi ll lead to the I m prison ment of a ma n 561 00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:04,920 who is a lia r, a bou nder a nd a cad. 562 00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:09,160 Oh, bravo, 563 00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:12,120 beca use we hate lia rs, bou nders a nd cads, don't we, Blackadder? 564 00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:14,600 Genera lly spea ki ng, yes, si r. 565 00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:18,040 But perha ps before Lord Topper sta rts to ta lk, 566 00:27:18,120 --> 00:27:20,800 he m ig ht li ke a g lass of wi ne. 567 00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:24,000 - H e's looki ng a little sha ken . -Sha ken, but not sti rred. 568 00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:28,960 It a ll bega n last week. 569 00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:31,880 I was sitti ng I n Mrs Migg I ns' coffee shop when ... 570 00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:34,680 Oh, God! 571 00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:39,400 All th is treachery is so depressi ng. 572 00:27:39,480 --> 00:27:43,360 I mea n, the whole th I ng j ust ma kes you I ncred I bly a ng ry! 573 00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:47,040 And it j ust ma kes you wa nt to... 574 00:27:47,120 --> 00:27:50,440 N ice wa istcoat, You r Majesty. 575 00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:54,000 I' m sorry, I've com pletely forgotten what I was ta lki ng a bout. 576 00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:56,040 A story of d ishonou r a nd deceit... 577 00:27:56,120 --> 00:27:59,200 Oh, that's a g reat story! That's g reat! 578 00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:01,960 Oh, that's a wonderfu I story! 579 00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:03,760 Let me j ust j u m p I nto the corner fi rst. 580 00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:10,480 Roast my ra isi ns! H e's popped it! 581 00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:13,760 I say, Blackadder, do you th I n k he rea lly was the Sca rlet Pi m pernel? 582 00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:17,080 Well, j udg I ng from the rid icu lous ostentatiousness of h is death, 583 00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:18,880 I wou ld say that he was. 584 00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:20,720 Well, then, that's a da m n sha me, 585 00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:23,720 beca use I wa nted to g ive h I m th is enormous posta I order. 586 00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:25,160 Please, si r, let me fi n ish. 587 00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:28,160 I wou ld say that he wasn't. 588 00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:32,560 You see, the Sca rlet Pi m pernel wou ld never, ever revea I h is identity. 589 00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:34,920 That's h is g reat secret. 590 00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:37,400 So what you're actua lly looki ng for 591 00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:39,920 is someone who has, say, j ust been to Fra nce 592 00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:41,800 a nd rescued a n a ristocrat, 593 00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:44,360 but when asked, "Are you the Sca rlet Pi m pernel?" 594 00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:46,760 H e replies, "Absolutely not. " 595 00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:50,440 But, wa it a m I n ute ! Blackadder, you've j ust been to Fra nce, 596 00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:53,240 a nd you've rescued a French a ristocrat. 597 00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:56,400 Oh, Blackadder, a re you the Sca rlet Pi m pernel? 598 00:28:57,120 --> 00:28:59,120 Absolutely not, si r. 599 00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:02,160 H ooray! 49419

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