Original subtitles

Joey!

Joey!

Ohh!

Joey!

Joey.

Just for that, I'm not taking you to the carnival on Saturday!

And while I'm there tonight, you think about this.

I'm gonna get even with you.

You're not gonna know when or where, but I'm gonna get you so bad...

You're never gonna forget it!

Never!

Never!

The bride of Frankenstein.

J'j'

What time is it, daddy?

It's after 9:00.

Listen, I don't know where you're going tonight...

But I don't want you going to that damn carnival.

It's the same one that went through Fairfield last year...

When they found the bodies of those two little girls in parson's creek.

I don't see why you wanna waste your time...

With a guy who works in a filling station to begin with.

It's a first date, mama. We're not getting married.

Can't even pick you up at a decent hour.

Did you hear what I said about that carnival?

They had to use dental charts to identify the bodies.

I heard you, daddy.

Where are you going tonight?

Well, answer your father.

We're goin' to the movies.

Liar.

That's buzz.

Does he have to wake up the whole damn neighborhood?

Bye.

You've got 10 seconds to get up to bed, young man!

I got off work a little late. — that's okay.

Listen, how would you like to go to the movies tonight instead of the carnival?

The movies? What for?

Well, it's the same carnival that went through Fairfield county last year...

When they had all that trouble. — terrific.

Maybe we'll get a little action. — “terrific”?

Come on. You're not afraid to go, are you?

No, I'm not afraid to go. I just don't feel like it.

Besides, I sort of promised my father that we were going to the movies.

Forget about your old man. He's just trying to bum your evening.

How can you say that? You don't even know my father.

Look, it's late.

Aren't we supposed to pick up yourfriends, Liz and Richie?

Hey, loosen up, will ya?

So, go on.

“Just show me where the electrical outlet is, and I'll set the act up.”

Well, the emcee says, “I don't understand.

What do you need an outlet for?”

Duck trainer looks at him and says, “I need to plug the hot plate in.

What do you think, this duck dances by himself?”

Amy, the duck doesn't actually dance. It burns its feet on the hot plate.

Earth to Mars. Come in, Amy.

So, Richie, you still in school or what?

- Yeah, one more year. - Goin' to college?

If I get in. — will you loosen up?

Really terrific. — yeah. Really terrific.

J'j'

It wasn't working that way before.

It was working good when I bought it.

Richie, come on. — j'j'

What's the rush?

Listen...

I do something wrong?

Huh?

Hmm?

Well, I get the feeling you're mad at me.

I'm not mad at you, no.

Yes, you are.

No.

Look, if it's what I said about your old man...

Your father— I'm sorry, okay?

Look, I don't think they're hitting it off very well.

Did they have a fight or something?

Of course they're hitting it off.

Buzz is a terrific guy.

You know, Richie...

When you're stoned, Charles manson's a terrific guy.

Ah, come on.

J'j'

What do you say we just start over?

Ah, come on. You don't want to spoil Liz and Richie's evening.

Do ya? — no.

No, I guess not.

Fhends?

Friends. — friends.

J'j'

God! Buzz is cute.

Oh, excuse me.

Is he a weakling or is he a Samson?

Can he make the grade? Come on, don't take all day, my boy.

Is he a weakling or a Samson? What'll he do?

Hey, we got a winner here.

Stronger than he looks. Okay...

Not too bad. — I thought he was too skinny.

Here, get your prize.

Is that all I get?

You want this?

Okay, who's next?

You'll take care of it? — yeah.

Hey, tubby, come on over and work off some of that fat!

There you go, okay. Toss the coin in the...

You kinda have to picture the little duck's orange feet...

Just hopping around like it's dancing. — I get it. I get the joke, okay?

- You do? — yes.

J'j'

Get it!

Whoa! — yeah! Whoo!

So what do you think?

I think he's nice.

Nice? God, I think he's a hunk.

He is an absolute pistol.

You know, if you play your cards right...

You may not have to spend the rest of your life a virgin.

Liz— — what?

Fuck up!

Stop!

Oh.

Sorry.

God is watching you!

I beg your pardon?

He hears everything.

I hate people who preach.

Especially in bathrooms.

Anyway, I don't know what you're saving it for.

Who says I'm saving it?

God is watching you.

Hey, kid. What are you up to?

What are you doin' around here?

You want a lift?

Huh? You wanna come for a ride?

Alive! Alive! Alive!

These are all creatures of god, ladies and gentlemen, not man.

They are authentic, and they are alive.

Alive! Alive! Alive!

Let's go!

Alive! Alive! Alive!

“Oliver the steer, double cranium, cleft palate.

Born June, 1975. Cedar falls, Iowa.”

Ooh, wilbur!

Boy, that's an ugly bastard there.

Looks like Larry latnor, the gym teacher.

Rich, you're so full of it.

What happened to your hand?

Ah, it looks so sad.

- — Think we can pet him? - Yeah, sure.

Hey, it's not gonna rub off on ya.

Let's hope not.

- You're so brave, you touch it. - — not me.

I think I've seen enough. — me too. Let's go.

Well, I'll leave too, so you can ask her out.

Lovely!

Check something else out.

_ _

- Hey, you guys! - What?

- Get a load of this. - Huh?

Forget it, Richie. I don't wanna see, okay?

- You have to. - Richie...

What the hell is that?

It's a mutation. — huh?

It's a fake.

It's just like the magicians do. It's probably made of rubber.

“Born to Mr. and Mrs. Latnor, cedar falls, Iowa.”

Richie, you're so full of shit.

I'm getting some air.

Wait up.

Hey, wait, don't go!

It's moving.

- — It's waving to ya. - Good-bye, good-bye.

Alive! Alive!

Whew!

Alive! Alive! Alive!

So long, little fella. Damn! — what?

- — Bastard bit me. - Come on!

Look, it bit me. Look at that. Damn.

Blah!

Asshole!

Hey, watch who you're calling an asshole...

Asshole.

Liz will clean you up.

Come inside and see Daisy Mae, our two-headed cow.

See a sheep with six legs. Yes, six. Count 'em yourself. Six legs.

And these are creatures of god, ladies and gentlemen, not man.

All authentic and all alive.

Inside, behind that lovely tent...

You're gonna see some of the most beautiful girls

you've ever seen in your life.

Six of the most beautiful girls in the world...

Like my lovely sister, Mona, here.

Mona, give 'em a show. That's a girl. Open it up.

Oh, no. That's all. That's all. Just a tease. Just a tease.

Who will dare to face the challenge of the funhouse?

Who is brave enough?

How about you, sir?

Who is mad enough...

To enter that world of darkness?

Terrifying. Terrifying.

You will scream with terror.

You will beg for release.

But there will be no escape.

For there is no release...

From the funhouse.

- So, what about it? - Huh?

Huh? What do you wanna do first? It's your choice.

Oh, um— — what? What?

How about the magician? You want to come?

Yeah, goodidea.

Hell, I love magicians.

I had an uncle once who was a magician.

I mean it.

- — Nah. - He was bad.

One, please.

Have you seen two guys and two girls on a double date?

Hey, kid, I ain't the fortuneteller.

Now, I need a, uh, volunteer from the audience.

A young lady, preferably attractive.

Come on, now, don't be bashful.

You!

You. Come on.

- No, I couldn't. - Of course you could. Come on up. Come on.

Come on. Let's give the little lady a big hand.

Come up here.

You're not afraid, are you? — yes.

Smart girl.

Please step into the coffin.

Go ahead. Right inside.

I promise, you'll feel no pain.

Get a regularjob.

- Comfy? — no.

Good.

Now a little history.

A little history.

Action, man.

Fifth century, vlad the fifth of wallachia...

Boring.

Known as vlad the impaler to his friends...

Tortured 23,000 male and female prisoners...

- In a device not unlike this. - — Falling asleep, vlad!

Tiring of his name, he decided to change it.

He selected his father's name, dracul...

Meaning “devil.”

He added the letter a...

And became Dracula.

Literally, “son of the devil.”

And so, legends are born.

With that piece of history planted firmly in our minds...

I present, without further ado...

The impaler.

Notice if you will...

That a hole has been cut in the front of this box...

Right over the human heart within.

I insert the stake...

Genfly.

- Do you feel that, dear? — yes.

Find a new profession.

And now without further ado, I present the impaler.

Oh, my god!

Is there a doctor in the house? Lights! Lights!

Ladies and gentlemen, my charming daughter, carmella.

Thank you for your patronage. Next show in two hours.

J'j'

hey, give me a drag.

Hey, it went out.

Wait a sec. Let me get that.

You ready?

Here, Richie. — hey! Come on, man!

Hey, who wants to go on the cobra?

Ooh, I do.

Hey, me too.

Hey, you guys, it isn't even finished yet!

Hey, Richie, come on!

Come on!

Hey, buzz, look! A fortuneteller.

I heard these fortunetellers are all gypsies.

Yeah, maybe she'll tell you if you like me.

Wait till she comes out.

It is a very serious business for madame zena.

Don't be concerned.

The aspects are quite wonderful for tonight.

Shh.

J' whoo-oo j'

J'j'

A deep, mystic cross.

Good.

It means you were born...

With a knowledge of the occult.

Are you sensitive?

Do you have premonitions that often come true?

No.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Please, I need to concentrate.

Sorry.

Wait. Wait.

Three bracelets. That is good.

That means a long life line springing...

From the mount of Jupiter.

Shh!

Wait. Wait. A break in the fate line.

It makes sense.

A tall dark stranger will enter and change your life.

Larry latnor, right?

Do not mock the stars, my friends.

I thought she was reading her palm.

Out! Out of here, you bad brats!

I have performed in front of crowned heads of Europe!

Don't come back or I'll break every bone in your fuckin' bodies!

Beat it!

Alive! Alive!

Plain burger comin' up. What do you want? What do you want?

Mmm.

- You dropped something, huh? - — I know.

I know.

- Hey, buzz. - —hmm?

How come you never asked me out before?

I don't know.

I didn't think you'd go out with me. — oh, I would have.

I'm glad you did.

Who will dare to face the challenge of the funhouse?

Who is brave enough? How about you, sir?

Hey, come on, you guys. It's getting late.

- Want some cotton candy? - — no, thank you.

Who is man enough to enter that world of darkness?

All right, here we go!

Terrifying. Terrifying.

Goblins, ghosties and ghoulies.

Eighteen of the worst mistakes...

That nature ever visited on man or beast.

They're all inside and alive.

My own lovely sister, right here, Mona.

The beautiful Mona.

She wiggles and she dances. And just like her six...

- You ever been in one? — no.

Oh, come on, it's three bucks apiece.

You have to be 21.

There she goes. Turn them around, darlin'. Give 'em a little, that's it.

Come on, they always have holes back there.

Yeah.

Really?

Mona, a wiggle and a dance.

Six beautiful girls. They wiggle and they dance.

They wiggle and they dance.

Well, come on.

Step right up. They wiggle and they dance.

Right this way. Step right up. They wiggle and they dance.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have girls, girls, girls! Beautiful girls!

And remember what a! Jolson once said...

“Ah-ha, wait a minute! Wait a minute! You ain't heard nothin' yet.”

Careful.

The one and only, Liza!

- Here she is. - — my name is Marilyn.

I'm sorry, her name is Marilyn. A Rose by any name can smell!

Her name is none other than Suzanne! There she is.

A bellyjust like jelly.

And now the piece de resistance, the one and only, Terry!

There she is.

What's happening? — you're not gonna like it.

Is it gross?

That's disgusting.

- Hey, what about me? - — wait your turn.

Shit. I'll find my own hole.

- I can't believe I said that. - My god!

Where ya goin'?

Jesus, sweetie, you scared the shit out of me!

You made me drop my cotton candy, you creep.

What's a sweet little thing doin' back here anyhow?

Keep away from me, you pervert.

Hey, what the hell's goin' on? — nothin'!

What's goin' on?

Just you goddamn kids here, rousting everybody up here.

I came back here to take a leak and you take advantage of me.

Is that your dad?

- You okay? — yeah.

Isn't he strange?

Looks like old Frankenstein has to get his jollies also.

I think it's time to go home.

What do you mean it's time to go home? It's early.

Boy, is he a weird-lookin' dude. I wonder if he sleeps in that outfit.

I don't know.

I just had the greatest idea.

What?

Let's stay.

- Let's spend the night. - What?

In the funhouse!

You're crazy.

Fred and Eddie did it two years ago in Fairfield county.

Right. And you believe them? You're so full of shit.

I'm telling you, they did it, and so can we.

That is, uh, if we wanted to.

Now what do you mean, “if we wanted to”?

I told you, he's full of shit.

Who's full of shit? — you're full of shit.

Okay, then. Let's do it.

It's settled. We'll do it.

Hello, mom? I'm gonna be spending the night at Amy's.

Yes, so I won't be coming home tonight.

Hi, mama. Could you put daddy on, please?

Everything's fine. Could— could you put him on?

Hi, daddy. I'm gonna be spending the night at Liz's house, okay?

Yeah. I won't, daddy.

Um, is mom all right?

Yeah, okay, well, um...

I'll call you in the morning, okay?

Hey, listen.

Tell Joey the movie was great, all right?

Bye.

Any problem?

No.

Hey. You sure you want to do this?

- You sure you want to? — no.

Who is brave enough...

Who is mad enough...

To enter that world of darkness?

It's all right.

Terrifying. Terrifying.

Goblins...

Solong.bye.

Hang on, here we go. This is it!

This better be good. — It's gonna be great.

Richie!

What do we have here? What do we have here? Whoa! Gosh!

Ohh! Ohh.

Ohh!

We spent eight dollars...

oh, get it! Get it— ahh!

And what the carney is telling me, he says: “Oh, you can have anything.

Anything here on the, uh— The third shelf here.”

And I'm getting ripped off.

All right, now, look, we gotta take it around back...

And then go all the way around front now, right?

Tell you what, let's go have a beer first.

All right.

God is watching you!

Damn!

- — Did you hear that? - Yes, I did.

Hey, Dawson, did you hear that?

Amy? — okay, I'm coming.

Well?

Well, what?

Some people just don't know a good thing when they trip over it.

Oh.

Remember, I don't come cheap.

Oh, that's my boy. Just like your father.

Not enough.

More.

More?

Nothing in life comes cheap, my friend.

More.

You strike a hard bargain, but okay.

What are you standing around for? I haven't got all night.

Hurry! You want to take off the mask?

Huh? No? Okay.

Hurry.

Lie down! What are you standing there like an idiot for?

Nothing to be afraid of.

Ah, I see you're not afraid. An eager young fella, you are, huh? Hmm?

Hmm?

How does it feel? Good? Huh? Hmm?

Shh.

Feels good, huh? Now, relax.

Just relax.

Oh, too late, huh?

Nothing to be ashamed of. It happens to the best of us.

Felt good, huh? Well, of course it felt good.

You just relax.

I know what you're thinking. You want the money back.

Too late, my friend. A bargain is a bargain.

It's not my fault if you can't control yourself.

You leave me alone, or I'm going to tell your father.

Do you actually think I would let you do it to me, you freak?

Be thankful for small favors!

Leave me alone, or I'll put a curse on you and your whole lot!

Oh, buzz.

What are we gonna do now?

Let's just get the hell out of here.

Let's try over here. — what's in there?

Richie, be careful. — the door.

Buzz, hey. — there's nothing over there.

Let's go the other way. — I'm sorry, babe.

Let's try down there.

I can't see a thing.

Whoa! — I'm really scared, Richie.

It's okay. It's okay.

I can't see a thing in here. — straight ahead.

Hold it. I think I see something.

It's a door.

Wait a minute.

Shut up, shut up. There are people out here.

- — I'll be right back. - Where are you going?

- What? - — I'm just gonna make sure she's dead.

She's dead.

Okay. Now, easy.

- Shit! — what's the matter?

- —Ifslocked. - What?

Hey, man, would you just— — hey, man.

It's a steel door, and it's got a chain on it.

Can't you force it?

Not without waking the dead.

There's gotta be other exits.

Yeah. Well, let's try one. — yeah, let's.

- Come on. Let's go. — Richie!

Richie, wait for me.

Goddamn it!

I don't know which way we're going.

Goddamn it!

There's alight.

- — This way? - You okay?

Careful.

Oh, this is the front door.

Try the other side, Richie. I've got this one.

Damn!

- — Did you— - Shit!

Did you break it?

- Just take it easy. - — what are we gonna do?

Just— just walk.

It's okay. It's okay.

Just take it easy. Take it easy.

Yeah, right. Okay.

Damn. How often do they check these damn doors?

What are we doing in here, man?

We'll just spend the night, all right? — what?

So he's iyin' there in the dark, and he is exhausted.

He looks over there, and he says...

“Darling, you're the greatest. What did you say your name was again?”

And he sees these two big eyes just blinkin' at him outta the dark...

And suddenly he hears, “moo!”

Ain't you got no respect?

Yeah, of course, you do.

Shit!

Goddamn it!

Damn it! What the hell have you done now?

She looks dead, all right.

Sweet Jesus!

You didn't tell me it was zena, the goddamn fortuneteller.

You really did it this time, didn't ya? You killed one of the family! Damn it!

- Okay. - — I told you— didn't I tell you?

I don't care what you do with your dirty business with them locals.

But I don't want you doin' nothin' with our kind. You understand me?

Okay. — damn you!

Should have wrung your ugly neck the day you was born and been done with ya.

Father.

- Ow! - — don't you ever call me that.

Don't you ever call me that.

I can't stand the sound of your filthy voice.

Quiet now. I gotta think.

I said, quiet! I got to think!

It'll be all right.

Just— just— just be quiet.

I gotta get us outta this one.

Let's see.

It'll be all right. Just— just give me time to think, will ya?

Maybe...

We'll say it was an accident.

Yeah, but nobody would buy that...

With your ugly fingers on her throat.

Maybe the...

What are we gonna...

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. I got it.

We'll blame it on the locals.

That's what we're gonna do.

We'll just go, and we'll— We'll dump her some place.

And then we'll blame it on the goddamn locals.

Sure. That's the way.

What you got there?

Give it here.

Let's see it.

A hundred dollars?

Where the hell did you get a hundred dollars?

You paid her a hundred dollars?

Jesus.

I could have got you one of them tent girls for 15.

Yeah.

You never did understand the value of a dollar, did ya?

Shit!

A hundred bucks for madame zena.

Shit.

All right! Where is it?

What'd you do with the rest of my money?

Where is it? What'd you do with the rest of it?

Where's the rest of it? What did you do with it, you idiot?

Where is it? Where is it? Goddamn it! What'd you do with it?

Has she got it? Did you give it to her? Is that what you done?

Tell me what you done with it. Goddamn you!

All right.

Maybe I'm just gonna have to help you remember.

I'll make you talk!

You bet I'll make you talk!

You hit yourself, boy! Go on, hit yourself!

Hit yourself! Attaboy. You better go crazy, or I'm gonna kill ya!

Your head, boy. Hit it. Hit yourself, boy!

You better hit yourself or I'm gonna hit ya!

Tell me where my money is! Where is it?

You tell me who got it!

Tell me who got it. Tell me, who took it?

Who took it? You tell me! You remember!

Did she take it? Is she the one that took it?

You tell me where it...

What's that?

Who's there?

Who's up there?

Who's up there?

Looks like we got company.

Hey, you, up there.

Come on down, now. I want to talk to you.

Come on. Ain't nothing to be afraid of.

I just wanna have a few words with ya.

Come on. I just wanna give you your lighter back.

What are y'all doin' up there?

You know you're trespassing on private property.

Come on.

You're gonna have to come down sooner or later.

Ain't no other way outta here.

Come on now!

Oh, ain't no reason to be afraid of him. He's harmless.

Once he's been fed.

All right.

All right, have it your way.

Finders keepers. Losers weepers.

Take off them damn gloves. We got work to do.

It was you.

- You took the money, didn't you? - — so what if I did?

- — I thought we were getting out. - You stupid shit!

You're gonna get us all killed, you know that? Let me see it!

Stupid shit!

I thought we were getting out. You had the goddamn door open!

It was dumb, man. Dumb. — I was gonna split it.

- Did you see those eyes? - Maybe if we just give the money back.

It's too late for that now. — so what'll we do?

We wait...

Till they make their first move.

I think they just made it.

Look, they're just trying to spook us.

Shit, they are. I just heard something move.

Where? — there.

Come on.

Stay together.

Amy.

Amy!

Amy!

J'j'...

You take this. — I don't want it!

- Take it, goddamn it! - — I just wanna get the hell out of here!

You listen to me! We witnessed a murder, man. They're gonna try to kill us.

Understand? You got it?

I'm scared! — listen. You just calm down now, Liz.

I don't know what that thing is.

But we're gonna be a hell of a lot safer if we just stay together, okay?

Ain't as if I'm asking you to do something you ain't never done before.

Come on, boy.

I didn't mean to hurt ya.

It's just that...

Sometimes... I get to drinkin'.

I forget to be careful with ya.

Come on.

There.

You need me, boy.

You know what they would've done to you in Dallas...

If I hadn't been there, don't you?

Yeah.

Them two little half—pint girl scouts in Memphis.

Oh, that was the worst.

The worst.

Yeah.

It's been hard on me.

Real hard.

Ever since your mama...

Your little brother, tad, over there on display—like.

I don't want that for you, boy.

I don't want that for you!

Now, come on!

Come on, boy. Now come on.

If you just do this one last thing for me...

One bad thing...

And then we'll Bury 'em, and I'll take you fishin'.

Or anything you want.

Just like we used to.

'Cause we gotta take care of each other.

As god is my witness...

I don't hate the sound of your voice.

When I was a kid...

I once tried to spook my older brother...

By hiding in his closet.

And while I was waiting in there to jump out and scare him...

A weird thought came into my head.

What if he knew...

What if he knew I was in there, and he was standing just outside the closet door...

Waiting to jump out and scare me?

So what happened?

He locked you in, didn't he?

I waited in that closet for three hours till my parents came home and got me out.

I was too scared even to touch the doorknob.

I pissed in my pants.

Oh, my god!

Ah! Let him go!

He's resting real good now.

You just see what I had to go through to get your number.

I washed him up real good.

He's got a little fever, and he ain't talkin' too much.

Yeah, poor baby. We'll...

We'll get him right straight home to bed.

Mm—hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Goddamn it, listen to me!

We can't help that now! — please! Please! Oh, god!

I want him.

It's gonna be all right. It's gonna be okay.

Over here.

That's it. Right here.

Kill it!

No!

No! Richie! No! Richie!

No! Richie!

Richie, no!

Hey!

Oh, open it! Open it, buzz!

Liz, can you hear me? — Richie!

Hey, I'm sorry we caused you all this trouble.

No trouble. I was young once myself.

What's the matter, Joey?

I'm gonna get even with you.

I'm gonna get you so bad, you're never gonna forget it!

What's the matter, son? — never!

_ — Liz!

Liz! Liz!

Liz!

Liz!

Father!

- — What's the matter, son? - Guess the cat's got his tongue.

Well, I know one little boy who won't run away again.

Come on, let's go.

Daddy!

Mother!

Daddy!

What do you want?

Please, don't hurt me.

Please.

I swear I'd never tell anyone if you'd just let me go, please!

Oh, please, let me go!

Please.

Please, let me go.

Listen.

I know you like girls.

I could be nice to you.

I—I—I— You wouldn't have to pay me anything.

I can make you feel good.

I can make you feel good.

No one need ever know.

Oh, please, don't hurt me!

Please, don't hurt me.

Please, don't hurt me.

Please...

Please... don't... hurt... me.

Let's try over here.

Everything's locked.

I've been expecting you.

Buzz! — hold it there, Sonny. Drop that knife.

I said, drop it!

Why are you doing this?

I'm just protecting my family.

Your family? It's not even human.

Well, the lord works in mysterious ways, little lady.

Oh, hell. He ain't such a bad fella.

He does get himself in all sorts of trouble though, don't he?

Anyway...

Blood is thicker than water.

Now I'm sure he's gonna be a real comfort to me in my old age.

Now...

How many people know you're here?

Lots. They all know.

Well, no matter.

We'll be pullin' outta here tomorrow mornin'.

There's plenty other carnivals around.

What'd you do with the other girl?

Oh, I expect by now he's just finishin' up with her.

We'll just wait here till he gets back.

Oh, my, my!

That is a gruesome sight.

Buzz, don%...

No!

Get him, buzz.

Oh, you're real tough, ain't you, son?

Come on! Come on, get up!

Get up!

Come on. Come on! Come on.

Come on.

You all right? — oh, my god!

He's gotta have a set of keys on him.

No! Buzz, no!

Get the hell outta here!

Run!

Oh, my god!

Is watching you.