Original subtitles

[ beeping]

WOMAN: Your call is being...

ROBOT: ...connected...

WOMAN: ...by SewerCom.

Reach out and touch the sewers.

Look, Morris, it's Leela calling.

Hi, Mom, hi, Dad.

Ready for your big trip to the surface?

We're excited, honey

but we don't want to embarrass you.

I mean, your mother and I are basically monsters.

Dad, relax.

You are being somutant.

I found this adorable little bag

to wear over my head.

And it was on sale.

No one's wearing anything adorable over their head.

Now, listen.

I could never ever be ashamed of my parents.

I'll see you this weekend.

[ door opening]

Hey, guess who

I just got off the videophone with.

No.

My parents.

They're coming up from the sewers for a visit Sunday.

[ all gasp]

Are you off your rocket?

Your parents are mutants.

It's illegal for them to come above ground

'cause they're inferior genetic scum.

Uh, present company excluded, of course.

I'm getting them

a special one-day surface permit from CitiHall.

Ooh, while you're there

could you pick me up a license to kill?

Sure. Bare hands or weapon?

Uh, what does piano wire count as?

Good news, anyone.

The Swedish robot from Pi-kea

is here with the supercollider I ordered.

Enjoy your affordable Swedish crap.

[ wheels squeak]

Let's see what tools we'll need.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

All right, we're all set.

Nothing like the rustic wholesomeness

of working with one's own hands.

[ grunting]

BENDER: Ah, there. Finished.

And only six missing pieces.

Those Swedes sure know

how to put in almost everything you need.

Man, I'm sore all over.

I feel like I just went ten rounds with mighty Thor.

I feel like I was mauled by Jesus.

I've got just the thing.

Genuine miracle cream I bought from a traveling salesman.

"Come one, come all," he said.

"Step right up."

"This sounds too good to be true," I thought.

He said I looked like a smart young man.

"So, is it a deal?" I inquired.

Two hours later, he was gone

with 60 of my dollars.

But I had the miracle cream.

[ explosion]

Bad news, nobody.

The supercollider super exploded.

I need you to take it back

and exchange it for a wobbly CD rack

and some of those rancid meatballs.

Excuse me. Hi.

Do you have a minute?

I live in Jersey City and my car broke down

and I need to get back 'cause my aunt's real sick

and she needs this medicine, but I need money for the bus.

So I'm mugging you.

Hand over your wallets.

I don't believe that story for a second.

It doesn't matter, I'm mugging you.

There's no bus to Jersey City.

Give me your wallets now or my robot will shoot.

CUTE VOICE: Don't make me hurt you.

[ gasping]

Uh, eeh...

I'm too scared to find my pocket.

Here, I'll just take off my pants and give you those.

Hey, I don't like what I'm seeing.

Give it too them, Andrew!

[ screams]

Give it to them again, Andrew!

Ah!

[ popping explosions]

What the...?

Laser-proof shirts, huh?

I'll show you.

Huh?

Hey.

Quit it.

Hi-ya!

[ Leela yells]

[ grunts]

Foiled.

And after years of planning.

You're out of the gang.

LEELA: How did we manage to survive.

What gave us those strange powers?

Maybe we're all wearing magic rings

but they're invisible rings

so we don't even realize it.

Also, you can't feel the rings.

Oh, Fry!

Shut up and look at this.

"May cause superpowers in humans."

Wow.

A superpowers drug you can just rub into your skin?

You'd think it'd be something you have to freebase.

Let's see, which powers do we have?

"Super strength"?

Ah!

Hi-ya!

Yup.

Uh-huh.

"Lickety-speed"?

Check.Yes, sir.

"Ability to command

the loyalty of sea creatures"?

Hey, Zoidberg, get in here.

Screw you!

Ain't got that.Nope.

Wow, superpowers.

I'll be able to pack my day

with twice as many humdrum activities.

Leela, I think you're missing the big picture.

When you were a kid, what was your biggest fantasy?

To have parents.

Whatever.

The correct answer is to be a superhero.

We have superpowers, and we're Americans.

This is our chance.

Hmm.

I have been looking for a way to serve the community

that incorporates my violence.

Let's do it.

You'll barely regret this.

Hey, a friend of mine said

he mugged you today

and you had superpowers.

It's true, thanks to this funky-fresh cream.

Now me and Leela are forming

an awesome crime-fighting duo.

Wow, crime fighting. Cool.

And you say you're a duo?

Yeah, duos are good.

Course, sometimes they're a little shorthanded.

See, ya.

With two humans

you'd think there'd be a robot in there

to balance things out.

But... whatever.

I have these three costumes you could use

but I guess I'll just throw one away.

We'd love to have you on the team, Bender

but aren't you more on the supply side of crime?

Plus, the cream won't give you superpowers.

You're a robot.

So?

I'm already super-strong.

And my arms do this.

Also, I got this going.

[ squeaking]

Listen up, New New York!

There's a new group of superheroes in town

and we're...

Quiet!

It's 4:00 AM

and I just fell asleep

for the first time in 30 years!

Sorry!

[ whispering]: A new era of justice has begun.

What?!

ANNOUNCER: Attention all crooks, lowlifes, and lawbreakers:

Do yourselves a favor and crawl back into your filthy tenements

you human cockroaches

or get your ugly face punched to custard by...

The New Justice Team!

Captain Yesterday!

Clobberella!

[ grunts]

And Super King, the best one of the three!

Ow!

[ theme music begins]

♪ Go, go, go, New Justice Team

♪ Go, team, go, team, team, team, team ♪

♪ Who's the newest justice team? ♪

♪ The New Justice Team

♪ Captain Yesterday is fast

♪ Also he is from the past

♪ Not just fast but from the past ♪

♪ Captain Yesterday

♪ Super King has all the powers ♪

♪ Of a king plus all the powers ♪

♪ Of Superman, also he's a robot ♪

♪ Ain't it cool? Super King, you rule ♪

♪ Clobberella beats you up

♪ Clobberella beats you up [ meows]

♪ Who does she beat up? You! ♪

♪ Clobberella!

♪ Citizens, never fear

♪ Crazy do-good freaks are here ♪

♪ Until they run out of steam

[ screaming]♪ Miracle Cream Miracle Cream ♪

♪ Gives the power to the team

♪ Its effects wear off for sure ♪

♪ So they just slpp on some more ♪

♪ The New Justice Team.

Ta-da!

[ applause and cheering]

Captain Yesterday

I find your skintight high-waters

incredibly sexy.

Let's get together sometime.

Sure. I'm listed in the phone book.

So once I reveal my real name to you

along with my home address

and a copy of my birth certificate...

Are you crazy?

We have to keep our secret identities secret.

From everybody?

Especially from everybody.

Give several reasons why.

For one, superheroes cause a lot of collateral damage

and we don't want to get our butts sued.

Or do we?

No, I guess not.

Also, if our identities get out

every crook in the city will be after us

or, God forbid, our loved ones.

Super King has no need for loved ones.

How you doing, kid?

There you go--

two one-day mutant surface passes.

Thank you, Mayor Poopenmeyer.

[ phone rings]

Mayor here. What's that?

A horrible crime in the works? Ruthless villain?

Citizens in danger?

That's fantastic news!

Because I get to summon The New Justice Team!

[ beeps]

Oh!

[ buzzing] Shh.

Huh... They're usually here by now.

Well, so long. Keep in touch.

Wait, stay and meet the superheroes.

There's three of you and three of them

so it'll be perfect.

[ beeping] [ buzzing]

[ beeping and buzzing]

Is this clown on?

Where are those daring crime-stoppers?

Oh, I completely forgot--

I left my apartment on fire.

As for me, I'm late for my LSATs.

And I can't take life any more!

[ grunts]

[ glass shattering]

[ grunting]

Clobberella! Captain Yesterday! My liege!

You're just in time.

We've received a tip

that the Museum of Natural History

will be robbed tomorrow at exactly 9:00 a.m.

The target-- the priceless Quantum Gemerald.

Who's the perp?

A dangerous villain

known as the Zookeeper, who commits crimes

aided by a pack of highly trained animals.

Pack of highly. Got it.

His crew includes a badger with a troubled past

and nothing left to lose

an elephant who never forgets... to kill

and a seldom-used crab named Lucky, AKA, "Citizen Snips."

You can count on us, Mr. Mayor. Justice away!

[ panting]: Hold the elevator!

[ flushing]

We're in here, too.

Uh, Leela, how are you

going to meet your folks tomorrow?

We've already scheduled the Zookeeper

for a 9:00 a.m. foiling at the museum.

Not a problem.

I've cleverly arranged

to meet my parents right there

at the same museum at 10:00.

Nine, ten, a big fat hen.

[ exhales]

The name's Bender.

[ high-pitched whirring]

I can't believe the Zookeeper is this late

for his own heist.

It's just... rude.

[ clock chimes]

Total hell-- it's 10:00!

I'm supposed to meet my parents

and I'm still in my secret costume.

[ gasps]

There they are!

How could Leela not be here?

Do you think she forgot?

Relax-- I'm sure she's just ashamed of us.

Yo, freakjobs--

hit the nearest manhole, pronto-like.

B-but we have passes that allow us to be up here--

from the Mayor himself.

I don't know. I never heard of no mayor.

[ panting and grunting]

The Zookeeper!

Sorry I'm late. Long story.

Now, everybody hit the deck!

[ gasping]

I'm cutting the entire line

and stealing the exhibit.

You're not stealing anything.

Nobody hit the deck!

Ah, the superheroes...

Or should I say, "super zeroes?"

That was uncalled for.

Animals, attack.

[ blowing whistle]

[ growls][ all gasping]

[ screams]

[ growls]

[ shrieks]

[ grunting]

[ patrons screaming]

Please do not feed the animals.

[ screaming continues]

[ grunting]

[ snorting and grunting]

[ buffalo squeals]

You're going down, my friend--

Down Under!

[ laughs]

[ Bender screaming]

A man boxing a kangaroo is a peculiar spectacle

but a kangaroo boxing a robot?

Now I'm afraid you've lost me.

[ splashing]

Citizen Snips!

[ screaming continues]

Nice job, Fingers.

[ kissing]

I'm scared and confused.

I think we've wandered into an off-Broadway play.

No, there are way too many people here.

[ panting]

Later, if anyone asks when I got away, tell them right now.

[ both grunting]

Forget it, Zookeeper.

You're going into captivity.

Fool!

A quip about putting me behind bars

would have been far more delicious.

Here, catch.

No, Fry, you can't fall fast enough!

[ groaning]

[ panting]

I got it, I got it.

[ screams]: I don't got it!

[ grunts]

[ groans]

[ applause and cheering]

You saved the Gemerald!

Yet the Zookeeper escaped...

thus proving that the deadliest animal of all is the Zookeeper.

You can get off me anytime.

Oh, no.

My parents are leaving.

I've got to go change back into street Leela.

REPORTER: There they are.[ cameras clicking]

Thank you, mysterious heroes.

The value of the Gemerald

you saved is slightly greater

than the cost of the damage you caused to this museum.

A net gain for our great city.

[ applause and cheering]

[ camera shutters clicking]

[ cheering]

It's good that Leela doesn't love us.

She'll be less sad when we die.

[ grunts]

Mom, Dad?

I showed up

and I got the audio tour

for "Treasures of Liberace's Tomb."

[ sobbing]

[ groaning]

Sweetie, it's okay.

You don't have to apologize for standing us up

on the only visit to the surface we'll ever have.

I want to tell you why I didn't show up, but I can't.

Just please believe me that it was a very good reason.

I'm sorry I disappointed you.

Leela, you could never disappoint us.

We're so proud of everything that you are.

And we always will be.

Because you're our baby girl.

Oh...

I can't take it.

Mom, Dad...

I'm Clobberella!

[ ripping]

[ gasps]Galloping gators!

You're a superhero?

[ laughing]: Well, that's wonderful.

But did you have to make the costume so revealing?

Look at me-- proud dad of a superhero.

We should print up T-shirts.

And F-shirts for our friends with two arms on the same side.

No, listen. It's very important

that you never, evertell anyone.

Under any circumstance.

What if I've had a few?

Dad? You drink?

No, not even then.

All right. My sucker is sealed.

In fact, I shouldn't even be wearing this around here.

[ ripping]

It was brisk.

I dressed in layers.

That's my girl.

So, uh... anyway, my daughter's Clobberella.

Leela is Clobberella?!

You're pulling me.

Shh! Keep it under your sock.

It's a big secret.

That's why I'm only telling you two.

Oh, my God.

That guy's daughter is Clobberella.

But don't tell anyone.

Gotcha!

[ phone ringing]

Greeting, superheroes.

Remember me?

[ all gasping]I don't remember much, buddy

and you're no looker.

Uh, Professor, isn't it time for your nap?

Yes, damn it!

[ snoring]

Zookeeper, how did you know our real identities?

Let's just say a little bird told me.

[ clapping][ squawking]

Leela told her parents.

Leela's parents blabbed... [ squawks]

[ munching]

Leela? Is the person that parrot is mimicking

telling the truth by proxy?

Yes.

My parents were so hurt, I couldn't help it.

But I distinctly told them not to tell anyone.

We are not amused.

And here's something you may or may not find interesting.

[ gorilla grunting]

[ gasps]: Mom! Dad!

Leela, please forgive us.

Especially your father, who's the one who told

thank you very much, Morris.

Are you all right? Has he hurt you?

No, but my allergies are going nuts.

[ sneezes]

Oh, God!

Every couch and table has animal fur all over it.

He lets them climb on everything.

All right, Zookeeper, what do you want?

Why, the Quantum Gemerald, of course.

You must steal it for me by midnight

or your parents will be devoured by piranhas that I have--

shall we say-- persuaded to walk on dry land.

[ laughing wickedly]

Save us, Leela!

I mean, if-if you don't have anything better to do.

We're out of options.

We have to steal the Gemerald.

But... should superheroes commit a crime, even to save lives?

I need moral guidance.

Bender? Hmm...

The thought of stealing anything

fills Super King with disgust.

But if it must be so

than let a museum heist be pulled!

[ dramatic music plays]

Oh, no. Our superpower cream is out of itself.

Check inside the cap.

There might be a caked-in gold mine.

El zilcho.

I'm afraid we're boned.

El Zilcho...

Hey, is it too late to change my superhero name?

Just be cool.

Nobody knows we're superpowerly challenged.

[ panting]

Man, this costume is so damn heavy.

Hey, Captain Yesterday.

Can I, like, whale on you with this two-by-four

and it doesn't hurt you?

[ smacking]Oww...!

[ weakly]: ...that didn't hurt.

Hi, superheroes.

Everything okay?

Big "O", little "k", my friend.

Just checking if everything's all right.

It's okay, all right.

Okay, then.

Grab it!

[ glass shattering]

[ people gasping]

Yo, the superheroes have turned evil. Most uncool.

Get 'em!

Stay back!

Or we'll beat the tar out of you, using superpowers!

[ eerie moaning]

[ all panting and groaning]

[ water dripping]

FRY: So, this is your lair?

Of course not.

You think I'd show you my lair?

My lair's a million times nicer than this.

Okay, take it easy.

Well, here's your lousy Gemerald.

[ clapping]Hawk, fetch.

[ screeching]

That seemed unnecessary.

[ grunting]

Our transaction is complete.

Come, Solomon, to the lair.

[ gorilla grunting]

Mom, Dad.

Oh, I'm so sorry I got you kidnapped by a crazy madman

who tried to feed you to piranhas.

We're just happy to be involved in your life.

No, no. It's my fault for telling you I was a superhero.

That's true.

I just couldn't stand

to have you think I was ashamed of you.

That's sweet, honey.

But it's natural for children

to be a little ashamed of their parents.

Oh, yeah.

Just like it's natural

for parents to be a little disappointed

in their children.

N-Not that we are.

But you could call a little more often.

Okay.

And would it kill you to use some mouthwash?

Hey, Fry, we still got our costumes on.

Want to steal some more stuff?

I guess.

As long as you think it's right.

Superheroes away...!

[ theme music plays]

♪ Go, go, go, New Justice Team

♪ Fighting justice is their quest ♪

♪ Super King, Clobberella and all the rest ♪

♪ Here's to you, New Justice Team ♪

♪ Do the things that make a team ♪

♪ Help each other do some things ♪

♪ Winners don't use straws

♪ The New Justice Team!