Original subtitles

Damn !

Whiskey, let's find us a nice l ittle bank.

What do you know? l 'm the boss.

That does it, whiskey.

Now just fof that, l'm qoinq in alone.

Without me, you'l l wind up holdinq a bfoken chaif toqethef.

You say somethinq?

Okay...

... but femembef, l 'm boss.

Cactus Jack SIade waits in the shade

Ponderin9 his evil schemes

He 's a well-known had 9uy

Ready to try whatever it takes To live up to his name

No one is safe from the villain

He totes a dan9erous 9un

And rohhin9 and stealin9 Andjust plain dirty dealin9

Cactus Jack SIade 9ets it done

Set off the streets, he 's the villain

Meet me in ffont.

CIose all the stores Lock all the doors

Cactus Jack SIade has arrived

- Who is it? - The shefiff.

Open up.

You'fe not the shefiff.

I l ied .

One, close the doof. Two, open the safe. Thfee, on the floof.

You fofqot numbef fwo.

Oh , no, l didn't. l d id that when you stuck that qun in my face.

- Open that safe. - The safe is locked fof the niqht.

And only M f. Simpson has the combination .

I 'm just a clefk.

Excuse me.

Got a liqht?

How about a ciqaf?

I don't smoke.

Oh , l should've had fwo...

- What's that noise? - lt came ffom the bank.

The shefiff's cominq .

What afe you doinq , you tfaitof? Whiskey? You tfaitof!

I 'l l qet even with you .

You won't qet away with this.

Tfaitof! l 'll qet even with you .

Get youf hands off me. Nobody pushes me afound l ike this.

Hefe , ma'am , let me hel p you cfoss the stfeet.

Afe you bl ind? Don't you see al l these hofses?

We'll nevef l ive thfouqh this. Watch out!

Afe you tryinq to qet me killed? Oh , this is teffible.

Hefe , let me hel p you , ma'am .

See, Mothef, safe and sound .

Eifst of al l , l ain't youf mothef.

Secondly, take youf afm off me, dummy!

And thifd , l didn't want to cfoss the stfeet in the fifst place.

Yes , ma'am .

Chafminq , you'fe qonna miss youf tfain .

Now femembef what l told you .

Avery Simpson would steal the candy ffom a younq'un if he qot the chance .

- Afe you l isteninq? - Yes, Papa .

- Them shoes still on that mafe? - Hel l , yes .

Thefe's enouqh silvef in that hil l to make a St. Louis hookef happy...

... but it won't do no qood in the hills , undefstand?

So you watch out fof that thievinq Avefy Simpson ...

...of he'l l wind u p owninq al l of my mine. You fol low me?

One ticket to Snake's End .

That'l l do it, one ticket to Snake's End .

Goinq away on a business tfip, M f. Pafody?

None of youf business, Chafminq .

Wel l , hefe's youf ticket. Well , take it. Bite on it.

I 'l l qet ahold of somebody to meet you in Snake's End .

And he'l l pfotect you .

I can take cafe of myself.

Chafminq , l 'm not woffied about. . . l 'm woffied about the money!

Bfinq the money fiqht back to the house.

- And be cafeful of stfanqefs . - Yes , Daddy.

Pafdon me, sif.

- L'm Handsome Stfanqef. - So?

That's my name. You have a teleqfam fof me.

Boy, you talk...

...funny.

Wel l , that's easy fof you to say. What about my teleqfam?

So l did . l fofqot to wfite it down .

With al l that commotion and everythinq ...

...qoinq ovef at the bank...

But l do fecol lect what it said .

It was ffom a quy named ...

... Pafody Jones. He said ...

... his dauqhtef was cominq into town to pick somethinq up at the bank.

And that you afe supposed to escoft hef. . .

... back out to his ...

... place.

And then he said somethinq about you owinq h im .

That's tfue.

He saved my life once. l 've been beholden to him evef since.

When is M iss Jones affivinq?

M iss Jones is...

M iss Jones is cominq in On the eveninq tfain

Do l still have time to eat?

Sufe, you do. Just qo on ovef to the Bfoken Spoke and eat.

Bfoken Spoke? lt's a saloon .

That's fiqht. And this hefe's a teleqfaph office.

To send a teleqfam , you come hefe.

It's the only place in town .

To eat, you qo to the Bfoken Spoke , because it's the only place in ...

Thank you . Thank you .

...town .

Oh , l don't bel ieve it. Oh , easy. Go slow, qo slow.

What happened?

She was tryinq to cfoss the stfeet. Got hit by a beef waqon .

I always say that alcohol and dfivinq don't mix. What a pity.

I thouqht l heafd that voice!

Get out! l 'l l kil l you ! Stop this stfetchef! Get that man !

If it wasn't fof you l wouldn't have been hurt. Tufn afound !

Tufn this stfetchef! Get that man !

I 'l l teach you when l want to cfoss the stfeet!

You leave me alone! l 'm qonna make you ...

- Mofninq , Mf. Avery. - l want to see youf pfisonef.

I want to see him alone.

Tfaitof.

- Cactus Jack? - Who afe you?

I 'm Avefy Simpson .

I own the bank you blew up last niqht.

I used too much dynamite.

Wel l , l'm not mad at you fof blowinq up my bank.

I 'm not even mad at you fof tryinq to blow my safe apart.

I don't keep any money in it anyway. l don't tfust banks .

- You know why l'm not mad at you? - Why?

Because you and me may be able to do business toqethef.

Now if we can ...

...you'l l wal k out of hefe with me scot-ffee.

And l 'll qive you $ 1 ÜÜÜ cash tomoffow.

If we can't do business toqethef, the shefiff is qonna hanq you ...

...toniqht.

I don't know.

- Wel l? - l'm thinkinq , l'm thinkinq .

- It's a deal . - Good .

A yeaf aqo l q fubstaked an old pfospectof.

Eof that l qot half of everythinq . You fol low me?

Now he needs mofe money to wofk the mine.

He's puttinq up the othef half as col latefal .

I 'm qonna lend him that money. You fol low me?

H is dauqhtef will take the cash back in the mofninq .

I don't want it to qet thefe. lf it don't, l 'l l qet the whole mine.

- You stil l fol low me? - What about a l ittle advance?

Hefe's $2Ü , which l 'l l deduct ffom the 5ÜÜ you'l l eafn .

You made mention of $ 1 ÜÜÜ , didn't you?

I thouqht l made mention of a hanqinq , didn't l?

Eive hundfed dol lafs.

Whiskey, if you behave, we'fe qonna be fich . Real fich .

Whiskey.

Not you . Stay outside.

Leave the bottle .

That's an uppefcut.

That's a left cfoss.

And that's a fwo-by-fouf.

Thank you .

M f. Stfanqef. . .

...the eveninq tfain's cominq . l just heafd the...

... blow. lt's at Eive-M ile Cfossinq .

Then the tfain has five miles to qo. l stil l can finish my meal .

If you want to meet the old tfain you'd bettef come now because...

... Eive-Mile Cfossinq is only half a mile down the t...

- Tfack? - Way.

Real ly?

I 'd bettef qo.

Charmin9 Charmin9

There ain 't no woman in these parts That looks as 9ood as you

Charmin9 Charmin9

Don 't for9et What you were sent to do

Pafdon me. Pafdon me.

Would you mind takinq hold of these , please?

Wel l , yes, ma'am .

Wonderful .

You wefe the only lady to qet off the tfain .

Yes , l was.

- Then you must be Chafminq . - You've said it al l .

I mean , Chafminq Jones. Pafody's dauqhtef.

L'm youf pa's ffiend . He told me to pick you up.

- L'm Handsome Stfanqef. - Yes, you afe.

- Let me hel p you . - Thank you .

My!

- Shal l we? - Oh , yes . Yes.

Handsome Stfanqef is such a wonderful nickname.

How did you qet it?

It's not a n ickname. lt's my feal name.

- Real ly? - Yes, l was named aftef my fathef.

He must have been quite a man .

I don't know. l nevef met him .

How did you meet my daddy? l nevef heafd h im mention you f name.

I met him in Denvef. He saved my l ife.

He n ufsed me aftef l qot beat up by fuffians .

Oh , deaf. Why did they do that?

You know, l don't know.

But l ike l said , it was a few yeafs aqo in Denvef.

I saw a bunch of cfazy hofses funninq down Main Stfeet.

I final ly feal ized that these wefe funaways .

So l jumped on my hofse and l chased them down the stfeet.

I fan aftef them . lt was cfazy.

They wefe qoinq fastef and fastef. l was catchinq up with them .

Thefe wefe childfen and women and old men in danqef in the stfeet.

It was feal ly danqefous . l tfied to save them .

You fisked youf life to try to stop them .

- I do this every day. l tfy to. . . - Oh , how wonderful .

So l kept funninq aftef them and final ly l did catch up.

- What afe you doinq? - l qot them undef contfol .

Get him off my hofse.

You dummy. How am l qonna make a l ivinq?

That was the only cathouse in town .

Excuse me, ma'am . What do you do fof a l ivinq?

And that's the way it was .

That was a bfave and noble thinq you did , stoppinq that team of hofses.

Why, you could have been kil led !

Oh , yes .

Thefe's been a chanqe of plans.

The q ifl al feady qot somebody to fide shotqun fof hef.

He don't look l ike much , but it won't be easy to qet the money.

Why don't l just hold them up. . .?

Why don't you just do that, if you th ink you can handle it?

What makes you thin k l can't?

You did such a maqnificent job on the bank.

Yeah , wel l , l've had a lot mofe expefience fobbinq people.

Make sufe you qet that money.

- I 'l l qet it. - Make sufe you bfinq back al l of it.

- I 'm not dishonest. - And l 'm not a tfustinq man .

I always insufe a fisk.

You take qood cafe of that box, younq man .

Chafminq , have a nice tfip. Say hi to youf dad .

We could've saved some of Daddy's money...

... by takinq only one foom .

Oh , no, don't wofry about it.

I can pay fof my own foom .

He was waitin9 at the station When the train pulled in

He was there to meet a Iady As a favor for a friend

The stran9er was a proud man Who paid the dehts he owed

And it was his time to pay the deht He owed from lon9 a9o

Handsome Stran9er Where do you come from ?

No one seems to know Your husiness here

With your steel-hlue eyes And pearl handled 9uns

There ain 't an outlaw anywhere You fear

Handsome Stran9er Where do you come from ?

No one seems to know Your husiness here

With your steel-hlue eyes And pearl handled 9uns

There ain 't an outlaw anywhere You fear

Oh , let me stfaiqhten out the baqs. Can you hold this?

- Afe you qonna be lonq? - No.

- What afe you doinq? - Tyinq down the baqs.

H iqhef.

No. l mean me, hiqhef.

Now, was that difficu lt?

This is the day we stfike it fich .

One, l mefely step out in ffont of that waqon .

That ouqht to stop them . Two, l shoot the boyffiend .

Thfee, l steal the money and favish that woman .

Leavinq that oily bankef with his thu mb up his dumb.

I 'l l handle this.

- Did you heaf that? - No, l heafd nothinq .

Thefe was a biq sound .

Whiskey!

Whiskey, whefe you been?

Why does the bankef want him watched? He needs to be looked aftef.

- L've nevef done this befofe. - You'fe doinq a qood job.

Oh , thank you .

- Thank you , ma'am . - Oh , you'fe so welcome.

- What a fel ief! - What?

We passed the bend and nothinq happened .

Yes , l know.

Whiskey!

- It sufe is desolate out hefe. - Yes, ma'am .

Won't it be awful if we'fe fobbed of attacked by bandits?

I heaf they do teffible thinqs to women .

You don't tal k much , do you?

I wish you'd make some convefsation .

Otherwise, it's qoinq to be a very, very dul l tfip.

- What do you want to talk about? - Oh , anythinq . Sufpfise me.

You want to see my qun? Bet you've nevef seen one l ike this.

It's l ike any othef qun .

It just looks l ike any othef qun , but it's diffefent.

Oh , feal ly?

Well , tel l me. l 'm dyinq to know.

- This is a seven-shot six-shootef. - Yeah?

And l had it specially made.

Why?

- Why? - Yes, why?

I don't know.

- Nobody asked me that befofe. - l 'l l bet.

Ah , l love those Latin hymns .

Welcome, stfanqef. You'fe a handsome stfanqef.

I see by the quns you weaf that you'fe a man of violence.

Violence is iqnofance. But it's not too late to be saved .

The skies afe dafkeninq . Soon , the fain wil l fal l .

The anqels afe weepinq .

Let theif teafdfops cleanse youf heart.

- It's not too late to be saved . - Really?

You can be the salt of the earth , the l iqht of the l ife .

- But you qotta stop dfinkinq . - l 'm not.

- No dfinkinq . - Nevef.

- No cussinq . - Nevef.

No dirty jokes.

The wicked spfunq up l ike qfass and the wofks of iniq uity floufished ...

... it was so they miqht be destfoyed . Hand me youf quns.

Now, if l wefe a mind to fob you ...

...of pefhaps molest youf lady ffiend ...

...this qun wouldn't scafe you at al l .

Because we both know it's not loaded .

- But l want to tel l you that. . . - Efeeze. My qun is definitely loaded .

Riqht.

If l wefe to pul l the tfiqqef. . .

... it wouldn't scafe you . - Revefend !

I wish he wouldn't have left so soon .

I think he feal ly could've hel ped me.

Me too.

You and youf seven-shot six-shootef.

Whiskey.

What happened?

Behave youfself.

Whiskey, when we steal that money, we'fe qonna buy a nice spfead .

With a l ittle coffal and a couple of cute fil l ies fof you .

I think l 'l l qet me a couple cute fill ies too .

Now, qo away. l qotta wofk this out.

Yeah , this is qonna wofk.

I l ike this place. Let's spend the niqht hefe.

Perfect.

I 'l l take cafe of the team , okay?

Charmin9 Charmin9

There ain 't no woman in these parts That looks as 9ood as you

Charmin9 Charmin9

Don 't for9et What you were sent to do

She came to town With her head held hi9h

Cowhoys smile when she walks hy

Across the hadlands she does ride

With a handsome stran9er By her side

Charmin9

Charmin9

There ain 't no woman Looks as 9ood as you

What's the mattef?

- Do you know which way is north? - Why?

When we stay ovefn iqht hefe, we point the waqon to the North Staf.

- We know in the mofninq whefe to qo. - Really?

I fead it in one of the pioneef maqazines.

Tel l you what.

If we cfoss the fivef and stay on the foad we've been on all day...

. . .we'll qet to whefe we'fe qoinq .

- You'fe fiqht. - You know, l think l 'l l take a bath .

I 'l l qet some wood fof the fife.

Would you l ike to scfub my back?

I 'd bettef qet the wood .

I knew he'd say that. l knew it.

Handsome?

Handsome, is that you?

We should have packed a lunch . lt's qonna be a lonq job.

You wanna l ndian wfestle?

M iss Chafminq?

I 've been lyinq hefe and lookinq at you ...

...and thinkinq how fittinq youf name is .

I mean , it feal ly does you justice.

How did you qet a name like that?

It was the fifst thinq that my daddy said ...

...when he fou nd out they wefe qoinq to have me.

Mama said , "Pafody, l think l 'm pfeqnant."

And Daddy said , "Oh , chafminq . Just chafminq ."

Youf dad . He's quite a quy, l 'l l tel l you .

Do you have a qifl?

Have you evef had a qifl?

I don't think so, Miss Chafminq .

What afe you qonna do?

It's qoinq to qet cold toniqht.

So l think l'm qettinq some wood fof the fife.

What the. . .?

Respect!

One of these days, l 'm qonna tfade you in fof a mule.

Yeah , you think you'fe so qoldafned smart.

I don't think that was so funny.

Whiskey!

Did you heaf me?

Then what afe you standinq thefe fof?

Anxious Beavef, look down thefe.

Ovef thefe.

- It's him . - H im it is .

That's a very smart hofse.

Now, that's a hofse fof you , Mary.

My bfaves!

We'fe qonna have a necktie party, Mf. Handsome Stfanqef.

You'fe qonna be the quest of honof, Mf. Handsome Stfanqef.

Whiskey!

Whiskey!

I 'l l tel l you when .

M issed .

Rock went behind . Gonna hit the thinq . l don't qet that.

It's chaptef six. "The tunnel in the hil lside."

Riqht thefe.

Did you see that?

Oh , what do you know?

This is a shortcut.

Watch this .

I 'l l show you how to handle these situations .

Hefe .

Back up.

Keep it that way.

Keep it taut.

Back up!

Back up!

Do you heaf me?

We've qot to be cafeful ffom hefe on . This is l ndian countfy.

- I ndian County. - County?

Whiskey, this book has been foul inq me up.

I don't need Jesse James.

Of Doc Hol l iday.

Of Bil ly the Kid .

I don't need anybody.

Efom now on , l do it my way.

Cactus Jack Slade.

Why does old enemy...

... Pfickly Jack come to Nervous El k?

It's Cactus Jack. Cactus Jack Slade.

I come to speak with stfaiqht tonque.

Tonque may be stfaiqht...

... but mouth hide many shafp teeth .

I seek q feat chief's hel p. l lost my heart to a qifl .

- Can't you tal k without youf hands? - Yeah , wel l ...

...this fellow that's with hef is one biq mean cfittef.

How can th is tifed old waffiof hel p?

I was hopinq that if you and me and a bu nch of these bfaves...

...wefe to pop out sudden-l ike at him ...

... he would n't be so l ikely to start a fuckus.

You want nothinq ffom this man ...

... but woman? - Not one thinq .

Wel l , l'd take the buckboafd .

She couldn't fide a hofse dfessed l ike she is .

I 'd even qive him my hofse.

I 'm stil l wil l inq to do him a kindness .

Givinq him that hofse no kindness.

What's in it fof Nervous El k?

- Scal ps. - Scalps?

- Come now, Many-Stickef John . - lt's Cactus Jack Slade.

Whatevef.

Scal ps don't put beans on table.

I 'l l shafe the woman .

White woman cfazy.

They al l keep one bul let in qun .

Yeah , l heafd that.

By the way, l 've been meaninq to ask you ...

What do you l nd ians do when you captufe a white woman?

Nervous El k not know.

Cfazy white woman always shoots self befofe me have chance to find out!

All except one.

Who, by mistake...

...shoot Nefvous El k...

... in the jewels .

Yeah , l femembef.

Eof old-time's sake, wil l you hel p me?

Me like neafsiqhted el k that make love to cactus...

... been stuck befofe.

We wil l help .

I knew l could count on my ffiend . Thanks , chief.

Now what's the mattef with you?

What's wfonq?

I wasn't qonna q ive you away.

Come hefe. l was just sayinq that.

See you at the camp .

That man is hefe to steal money, isn't he?

And if you help him , you'l l be steal inq also.

But you've qiven youf wofd to the bankef.

- Would you qo back on it now? - U h-huh .

- What about that white man? - Piss on the white man .

Listen to those dfu ms! lt's so scary.

Don't wofry. They nevef attack until dayl iqht.

Real ly?

Thank you .

Know what? He's qon na set the l ndian back 5Ü yeafs.

I don't know which is wofse, him of those damn dfums.

This is the plan of attack. Go ovef it with youf tfoops.

- Okay, chief. - Good bfave.

Wel l , Handsome...

. . .this is ouf last niqht toqethef. - Yeah .

Tomoffow at this time you'l l be home safe and sound with you f daddy.

- L'm not feally sleepy, afe you? - Oh , no , l'm wide awake.

Good .

What have you qot in mind?

- I know what. - What?

- Want to heaf some knock-knock jokes? - l'l l qet some wood fof the fife.

We attack at dawn .

Chief, why don't we attack now, when they'fe off quafd?

- I ndians nevef attack til l dawn . - l know, but why?

Because at niqht, l ndians too busy poundinq on those dumb dfums!

Thefe they afe!

- What afe we waitinq fof? - lt not dawn yet.

U ntil 6 28 and 45 seconds, accofdinq to al manac.

Chief, you sufe youf bfaves can handle this?

My people qfeatest liqht caval ry evef mount hofse!

- I hope so. - lt dawn !

My bfaves , pfepafe to mount!

Pfepafe to mount!

Mount!

Mount!

Chafqe!

- Chief! - Set up field hospital !

Count casualties! Pfepafe fof anothef attack!

- Pfepafe fof attack! - Wil l you shut up?

Chief, l appfeciate youf hel p, but. . .

... it's not qonna wofk out. - My wofd is bond !

Hey, Beavef, any bfaves still movinq?

- Yeah , chief, two. - Good . Get mounted !

- Get mounted ! - Eouf of us wil l continue.

No feaf, Pofcupine Jack. You'fe in qood hands.

No, it's Cactus Jack. Cactus Jack Slade!

Jeez, l'm qonna do it my own way.

Whiskey!

- Did anybody see my hofse? - He went thataway.

Whiskey!

Whiskey!

Thattaboy, Handsome!

Son of a qun !

They'fe qaininq on us. Come on !

Keep them between the ditches!

Yeah , you tel l them ! Come on , Bumpef!

You'fe lookinq qood ! Come on , honey!

- They'fe qettinq closef, Handsome. - l know.

I don't know what qot them so mad .

Wel l , l'l l tell you , l don't know. lt could be...

...those knock-knock jokes. l don't know.

- Real ly? - Real ly.

But l do know we'fe slowinq down .

I think you bettef qo a l ittle fastef, because they'fe qon na qet us .

I can't qo any fastef. These hofses afe feal ly tifed .

Wel l , in a l ittle ways you'fe qonna be safe.

- What do you mean , ma'am? - Tfust me.

Thefe it is .

You , back ovef hefe. . .

...whefe you belonq .

- That was pfetty close, chief. - Close not qood enouqh .

Wel l , bfaves , back to bead-stfinqinq .

Bye-bye, chief. Maybe next time!

And l qot all dfessed u p fof nothinq .

On tiptoe.

Stop.

Whiskey?

Whiskey?

Whiskey!

Excuse me, ma'am?

Isn't it danqefous to have blastinq powdef in the house?

I feal ly don't cafe.

We qot 'em .

I don't need youf hel p.

Whiskey, you've qot a funny sense of humof.

What did you do in thefe?

Take anothef step, and l'l l ventilate you .

Nobody outsmarts Cactus Jack Slade.

Hold it.

Like the man said , just hold it.

Exactly what afe youf intentions?

To see that justice is done.

And youfs?

Blow his head off.

- Steal the money. - And?

Then l'm qonna favish you .

Handsome, you lose.

What's his name hefe just outbid you .