Original subtitles

#2 New Life

I'm Getting Married to a Girl

I Hate in My Class

#3 My Wife

Listen...

Don't even mention the word "marriage".

It's bad news if someone hears it.

I know.

Morning, you two!

What were you talking about with Saito?

N-Nothing.

Oh? Weren't you angry at him?

I just told him to stop talking to me so nonchalantly!

It's you who came to me...

Wh-What?

Cousin, your shampoo smells different.

Where did you stay last night?

Dad just bought this weird shampoo, so...

Not just the shampoo.

You also reek of a girl.

Ow!

Don't bite me.

You got married, didn't you?

How did you...

Our grandpa and his company were acting strange, so I looked into it.

I also know where your new house is.

You are married to that Sakuramori...

I am not obligated to keep my mouth shut.

You didn't tell me anything before your marriage either.

Well...

I request a bribe for this.

What?

A bribe... A bribe...

Bribe?

Can't come up with anything?

I'll eventually do.

Your life is in the palm of my hand now.

One sure gets drowsy after phys ed... This is trouble.

Cut the crap already!

What?

I'm talking about the phys ed equipment! You just put them outside, didn't you!

Put them inside the storehouse!

Our neighbours are using them for their next class.

It'll help them if I put the equipment there.

How can you tell?!

I already checked with the teacher!

Oh, I see!

Akane and I put them back inside, but I guess that was uncalled for.

What if a meteor struck and they couldn't do phys ed?!

I'd pin it on you if the people taking shelter in the gymnasium tripped and fell!

Now that's an extreme what-if you're proposing!

They're at it again.

They never get bored, huh...

They're just too close.

Again? What do they mean?

You don't know?

You're always at each other's throats,

so you're getting famous among the students.

They say you're like the Real Couple Ch., or the married comedy duo.

We're not a married couple!

But we are...

What is this?!

Hmm?

What's up?

It's all juice inside!

I bought those cans of concentrated vegetable juice.

It's full of vitamins, so I'll get healthy enough by drinking this!

No, you won't! That's not enough nutrition!

In that case...

Is it so good, you'd scream?

You're right to do so!

For cup noodles are the perfect food, so cheap, so quick, and so good!

Just out of curiosity, but where do you get your proteins?

Humanity has invented protein shakes!

It is an ideal protein shake with the perfect ratio of whey and casein!

Add the vegetable juice...

And it's done! Want some?

No way!

Are you planning to live only on cup noodles, vegetable juice, and protein shakes?

They're the easiest to cook, after all.

They're not! You can't call that cooking!

It's all just chemistry!

But it's good for your body!

Get that poison off me!

How dare you make fun of my masterpiece!

Your taste buds are just weird!

How rude! I I made an effort to make them numb!

How long do you think it took me to not perceive this thing as a putrid liquid?!

He's more dangerous than I thought.

If I leave him be, he'll die, and when he dies, our marriage will...

This is for my own good, not his.

I'll show you what real cooking is.

No, thanks. I have my elixir here...

Just sit tight and observe!

He looks just like a hungry puppy.

I bet he'll be super surprised once he tastes this.

He'll praise me for the food, and thank me from the bottom of his heart.

Then he'll realise that I'm far more skilful than him!

Girl, you're creeping me out with that smirking.

Hey, I'm making your dinner here! Don't be so rude!

Is she putting poison inside?

Will this be my last supper...?

Eat your fill now.

I'll definitely bring you down today!

Any nails or explosives...?

None so far...

Well, duh!

Just get that to your mouth already!

Well?

Is it good?

It's normal...

Just a normal meal, gently cooked.

But it means more than anything to me...

Then don't eat it!

Why?! We've come this far, so no refunds, come on!

If it doesn't taste good, then don't eat it!

I'll just give this to the dog outside!

I didn't say it tasted bad!

You also didn't say it tasted good!

Give it back! This is a thief! Dine and dash!

Give it up! You're out of luck for giving me food!

You demon! I'll resent you forever!

Such a fulfilling dinner...

...and eating my whole meal, only to be resented afterwards...

...is a first for me.

Wake up. Come on!

Shisei... We're still good...

Should sleep for some more...

Why, you...

I'm telling you to get your ass up!

Sorry. Didn't think you'd come to wake me up.

Nay! I came to scold you!

Scold?

Why did you leave the dishes like that?

I made you dinner last night, so you were supposed to do the dishes!

Oh, just use the available utensils.

I'll do the dishes once they stack up.

Wash them now!

You left the toilet paper refills scattered.

And the soap bag in the bathroom is also on the floor.

Are you trying to turn this house into a jungle?!

Hey, you can clean up the rubbish once a month, right?

A-Are you for real?

And you call yourself a human?

I am trying to be one.

Do not deny rubbish. Live in harmony with rubbish.

I don't want to live with rubbish!

I want to live a clean, proper and beautiful life!

I'm not that much of a clean freak.

To be honest, I'm also questioning the significance of taking a bath.

Why would you even question that?!

I can't believe I'm living under the same roof with someone like you...

We're living together for our own interests, right?

Don't pry too much into my life.

What the heck?

We have the opposite values...

Can we even make it?

No better stress relievers than video games!

You're too noisy, I can't focus here!

Hey...

Why are you playing a weird game?!

It's not a weird game.

It's a community-based zombie hunting action game.

I must defeat the zombies emerging in the nation,

- in each prefecture's landmarks... - Who cares about the game?!

It's disgusting, turn it off!

But it's not.

I've already reduced the amount of gibs in the settings to 40%.

That's not the issue here!

I can't fathom anyone who'd play violent video games!

They're bound to commit crimes!

That's a narrow point of view. Don't you generalise someone's hobby.

I'm telling you to not play this in my house!

This is half my house too!

You're just a freeloader!

But why?!

Anyway, no video games in this house!

Nooo!

Who could it be?

Don't just let go!

It's more of your belongings.

What's gotten into you?

My belongings...

It's all here now.

Tomorrow shall await another fierce battle.

In order for this warrior to recover from his wounds,

he must take a bath!

Strange...

It's just too unusual for her to not notice me at all...

Did she pass out?!

Hey! Answer me if you're alive!

Survive, will you?! Don't give up!

Hey!

Oh, she's just asleep...

Wait, people have drowned in the past from sleeping in the bath.

Wake up! Sun's up for you!

So you finally admitted defeat...

If you apologise on your knees, I'll let you live in a dog house.

Maybe I should let her be?

Saito, you idiot...

Are you trying to kill me?!

Wha...

What is this...

Why am I naked with you...

Is this sexual harassment?

Sexual battery?

Calm down, let me explain...

I can't believe you, pervert! Get out! Get out of this house!

Leave this planet already!

At least kick me out to the Earth!

I haven't done anything wrong!

Like there's nothing wrong with you sneaking in on a girl bathing?!

That's...

It's hard to explain...

You...

You saw it all, right?

My breasts... and what's below too?

No...

You're the worst! Begone! Don't get in the bath again!

A boy saw me naked...

And he's my greatest nemesis of a classmate...

But a lot has happened, so I go tired...

And I fell asleep back there...

Maybe...

He was trying to save me?

U-Um...

What?

Well, about earlier...

I'm going to bed.

Oh, go on, then! It's nothing important anyway!

What's up, Akane? Why the sadness today?

Himari...

Himari!

Someone you're on bad terms with, but want to befriend?

Are we talking about Saito?

No way! Why would you even bring him up?!

But you seem to be curious about Saito since last year.

I'm not! Anyone but him, like, at all!

That so?

Anyway, I've just had it with the guy!

If I keep arguing with them, I'll turn crazy from the stress!

Let's see... For starters...

I'll just hug the person!

Huh? No way, I can't do that to them.

Then, how about talking it over?

Most people would understand if you talk to them.

Well...

Isn't that because they talk with you?

You're a master at communicating, and no one hates you.

That's not true.

There are some people I can't get along with.

So, you'll be fine.

What matters isn't that you should make them respect you,

but you respect them.

Respect them?

Cousin, are you not hungry?

My house is a living hell.

Whenever she has time, she'd just bicker at me.

Do you really think I can eat with such a mood?

What if you get a divorce?

I can't do that.

If I run away now, I won't know what I gave my life to Grandpa for.

I need to obtain Hojo Group.

I don't want you to suffer.

If you can't get a divorce, you have just to get along with Akane.

That's not happening. Our personalities don't match.

You know we're no match for each other mentally, right?

Humans are animals,

so I think there are some types incompatible to them.

But not you, Cousin.

You're just being negligent.

Negligent?

People with different preferences, thoughts, and concepts of common sense,

are simply unable to get along as they are.

Have you ever tried to concede to Akane?

Well...

It's important to understand how she feels, and control it.

If you're going to be the CEO, you must be able to do that.

You're right...

We have come to one conclusion now.

You will have to carry me in your arms.

For what?!

Most maidens will fall for this.

Huh?!

I'm back...

I'll just... not do that today.

I'm sorry!

...Talk...

Huh?

I said, let's talk.

About a divorce?

Not that! I want to talk about how we can maintain our m-marriage!

I want to discuss how we can get along well.

Not that I want to, but I can't just break up with you now.

I can't have that too.

I've been thinking.

I hate you, but if I have to live with you,

it's better to make this place more comfortable.

Agreed.

I don't want to live in hell.

Hell?! How rude!

Let's see...

How about setting some rules so we don't get stressed out?

Rules?

If we set up some borders that you and I are comfortable with,

we won't have to argue so much, right?

I see...

Let's talk about housework, then.

Ever since we got married, I've been doing it all alone.

I prefer washing my clothes and dishes when they're piled up already.

I'm all about efficiency.

Bugs will come in!

It's only a natural thing.

Yeah, I don't want to be one with nature!

Leave them be, and they'll be full of germs, turning you sick!

Do the laundry every day, even if you hate it!

All right.

I'll do the laundry from time to time.

Really? That'll be helpful.

Don't you have a request?

You're asking my opinion?

I'd listen to any reasonable opinion.

Well...

I'd like you to bear with my touching your body in the bed...

So you want me to allow sexual harassment?!

You lecherous guy!

No! I'm telling you to overlook my bumping into you since our bed is cramped!

O-Okay... You can touch my body.

But just through my clothes, okay?

I won't forgive you if you touch inside my clothes.

You should play horror games with headphones, and don't play them when I'm around.

Are you scared?

No, it's just distracting!

We've settled on the basic rules, then.

Well, yeah...

Also, I read this in a book,

but if you say thank you out loud, this will improve a relationship.

So you want us to thank each other?

Even for the smallest things.

In that case...

You should say my cooking tastes good.

Even if it tastes normal?

Even if it does! Cooking for someone takes effort, mind you!

If I hear you say, "It's normal," it'll just ruin my mood after all the effort!

Saying "normal" is a praise for me, though.

Huh? Why?

It'll be too long to explain. About a week.

That's too long!

I don't think we've got closer...

No good, huh?

But we could talk with each other.

We talked for 5 hours.

I'm so beat.

Glad to hear that.

You're one step forward now.

Thanks. It's all thanks to you, Himari.

See you tomorrow.

Here...

You can... touch my body...

I won't touch you on purpose!

It's been a while since we walked home together.

I'm so happy.

I've been so busy these days.

Has your war with Akane ended?

No, it hasn't...

But I think I'm willing to reconcile.

You mean this?

Now that's raw.

The beach ball?

Stop confusing me!

Anyway, tag along with me.

What's this?

I bought it. Your favourite short cake.

Huh? You're giving me this?

Yeah.

How do you know my favourite food?

You wrote it in the anthology last year.

You remember that...

Wow, what a creep.

Please don't.

I mean, I just wrote it on the corner of the anthology.

I don't even remember I wrote it.

Sorry for having strong memories, then.

Thanks.

You're going all-out with this one, huh?

Have a bite.

Well? Are you willing to bow down to my cooking now?

Is it good? It is, right?

It's so good.

That so?

Glad to hear that.

Strange...

The Akane I know would say, "I don't like the way you praise me!"

and go berserk on me...

What are you scheming?

It's a lot of dishes, so I thought you'd be overwhelmed...

So you actually can care about others now?

That's very rude of you.

I can just not help you if you don't want me.

That'll be lovely. Thanks.

You're welcome.

I see...

I always see her mad, so I never noticed...

But she looks best when smiling...