Original subtitles

[Alarm pulses]

[Instrumental music]

♪

♪

♪

[Film projector whirring]

[Gentle music]

[She sighs]

[Man] Honestly, Hannah. Completely inappropriate.

[Girl laughs] Dad. [Man] And deeply damaging.

You're paying the therapy bills.

I thought it was Disney.

It was about a man who loved a dolphin.

A lot!

[Man] I'm sending you to boarding school.

- Tilly watched it, too. - Alright, both of you.

Eat your bagel.

- Thank you. - [TV in background]

- New? - Uh...

- No. - Yes.

- Hot. - Dad.

What?

I've got lunch - with the new management team.

How is Christie? [Tries accent] Still Danish?

Fine. And he's still Dutch.

Tremendous.

[Man on TV] The truth is you don't get on with your ex-wife?

No. That's why the show is called "My Ex-Wife..."

No, we won't - at this time of day -

mention the actual name of the show,

but what would she say about you, Rex?

She'd probably call me something worse.

[Host laughs]

- [Children arguing upstairs] - Yes, she would.

[Children continue arguing]

[Child] Give me my school bag!

If you want to kill each other,

can you wait until after tonight?

- [Arguing continues] - I hate you!

- I hate you! - I hate you more!

Vinnie.

- Vinnie, that's mine! - Tilly, give that back!

[Birdsong]

Liv, can you... Can you pull your skirt up a little higher?

Grandma's birthday card is on the TV.

Do not let me get drunk tonight.

- Do not drink. - Do not be an arsehole.

Do not be late.

We agreed, if I was late, you would cover.

Your family. Your mother's birthday.

- I'm in court until-- - Four.

Plus, I have a mountain of briefs.

- Call Nina. - She won't pick up.

Then I have to leave a message.

Then she'll have the upper hand.

I have to see her twice today.

Twice. Once...at the office. Once at the party.

- It's been six weeks, Hannah. - And happily counting.

That's what happens when you walk from the family firm.

But she's your sister. You'll talk.

Plus, tonight, you'll drink, you'll make your speech and...

I stopped listening five minutes ago.

- Oh, is this the menopause? - Oh, there it is.

Your arsehole status at once confirmed.

Bins.

Go brighten someone else's day.

Oi.

Hey, my long-haired beauty.

♪

[Gulls crying]

♪

[Beeping]

[Woman] Morning.

[Nearby noise fades]

[Contemplative piano music]

♪

[Birdsong]

[She gasps softly]

♪

- [Phone ringing] [Woman] Good morning.

[Muffled chatter]

Hey, Donna.

Be careful. Your mother's on fine form.

[Mother] Running late again?

We keeping count?

Your sister is threatening to use my old wedding dress.

I couldn't tell her I'd burnt it. Though I suspect

she's rooting through my wardrobe as we speak.

Pope.

- And Pope. - That's today?

You're facing Hannah?

Who's still pissed off because you didn't step down

and let her take over like you promised.

- Update? - [She sighs]

We're sticking on a couple of financial points.

- Child access? - Also holding us up.

His ex-wife's upset, so his son's upset

and now refusing to see him.

Well, delay the Decree Absolute if you need to.

Yes.

That's what I thought.

Sorry. Uh...

- happy-- - [Laughs] No! No.

No happy birthdays.

[Car horns blaring and tooting]

[Scanner beeps]

[Elevator chimes] First floor.

[Phone ringing nearby]

- "My Ex-Wife's A Bitch." - Catchy.

- I thought so. - A little premature.

She's not officially an ex-wife

until after the Decree Absolute is in.

And he asks himself why she won't let him see their child.

- I'll have security close by. - War room?

Booked. Uh, the Pierson meeting set for tomorrow.

I've briefed counsel.

Watson, Roe and Dimova all to be signed.

And your father was here. He might still be downstairs.

Right.

I, er, thought I saw him in the square.

- I... I put him in for-- - No. Cancel.

Only, he was pretty insistent.

- He wanted to see you. - He can't.

And Christie wants to brief you on your nine o'clock.

- [Glass reverberates] - What nine o'clock?

[Man] Oh, moving in is making progress, then?

Well, a corner window would be making progress.

If you tell me who I have to sleep with.

Suzie Mackie. HR. Second floor.

- [She laughs] - Yeah.

It was a Mother's Day present.

You dodged that bullet.

Whatever you are asking... No.

Davey McKenzie.

His business makes up 3% of JJ Johnson's entire turnover.

I won't poach from any of the big five--

He fired them. Late last night. We got the call.

He needs someone senior in family law.

There isn't a kid that doesn't own a pair of his trainers.

- Can't Zander? - Your name means something.

- They hear Defoe and-- - Stern.

I'm Stern now.

Curious. You never thought of using your married name before?

What can I say? Nathan finally...wore me down.

You okay?

Ah...

[Man] Did you tell her?

Davey McKenzie?

[Door opens]

Mr. and Mrs. McKenzie.

Hannah Stern, Senior Partner.

And this is my Junior Solicitor, Maggie Lavelle.

Hiya.

So, perhaps you'd like to um...

bring me up to speed.

Thank you.

Davey? [Chuckles]

This is my new lawyer, Goldie, love.

She's gonna help me.

- With what? - With our divorce.

We'll find you one of your own, of course.

[Clattering]

You've been an exemplary wife

and I can't fault you as a mother.

You'll be recompensed.

You... You'll get a healthy allowance.

Pay for your travel.

There'll be a...you know, a small income from your shares.

We should tell the children soon.

I think they already suspect.

I'm sorry. I just don't... love you...anymore.

Mrs. McKenzie...

..why not take a breath?

She had no representation.

She didn't even know why she was there.

- So you ended the meeting? - Yeah, of course.

Set up another with Mr. McKenzie. Alone.

And he can instruct us formally on his divorce.

I don't do circus. This will be circus.

- Who doesn't love a circus? - Never have. Hate clowns.

Your mother warned me.

You prefer to encourage settlements.

You don't burn up enough hours in court.

There's a certain paradox in a divorce lawyer

who is actually averse to divorce.

- I'm not averse. - He is a multimillionaire.

He wants us to litigate so you will litigate

and it will be war.

Please tell my wife I'll meet her downstairs.

Just as a matter of interest...

was she given any legal advice, your wife,

before she came in, at all?

No, of course not.

She didn't know you were going to divorce her today.

[Elevator bell dings]

- To be clear-- - No...to be clear...

legally, she's entitled to 50%. If I'm going to represent you,

you need to know I play by the book.

So if there is anything you are keeping secret...

now would be the time to say.

Careful, Mrs. Stern.

Remember what you said.

Take a breath.

Bill me for the skirt.

[Sniffles]

You need to get a wet wipe on that.

Thank you.

Do you enjoy this?

Watching people tear themselves apart?

No.

But I trained from an early age.

[Scoffs]

Mrs. McKenzie...

I know you want to run right now,

but if I may give you some advice?

Get the best solicitor you can afford.

Keep swimming past the sharks.

Find someone who can put herself in your shoes.

To give you the divorce she would want,

if she were to ever find herself there.

She?

I'll ask Maggie to pull you up a list.

[Scanner beeps]

Thank you.

[Beeping]

No. I don't want a bloody lift.

- Ah, hello. Hannah Stern? - Just over there.

Thank you.

Hmm.

Oh...

Technically I own half of that.

Technically, you own 10%.

It was for the Thompson case. I won it.

I got Mrs. Thompson both houses and her sanity.

The shares?

- A nice sweetener. - [She sighs]

Hello, Hannah.

- Hello, Nina. - New hair.

New job.

[Muffled game sound effects]

Does Rex know Eddie's here?

And Sarah wants to keep it that way.

He broke the terms of their agreement.

"My Ex-Wife's A Bitch"?

He didn't think of mentioning it?

She's his comedy agent. She knows how this works.

Yeah, well, hell hath no fury like an agent scorned.

What's Davey McKenzie doing downstairs?

Nice shirt.

Mr. Pope, your ex-wife is experiencing...

considerable distress seeing her life--

- Former life. - ..with you,

continually sourced as material.

Well, it's pretty distressing--

For my client not to be able to see his son.

It's been three weeks since he's had Eddie.

You can't use the gags about my mother's cancer.

Not even the chemo party bit?

See what I've got to work with here?

Have you got nothing happy to write about?

You used to find this funny.

You used to say there was nothing was so bad

you couldn't take the piss out of it.

How else do I shine this shit?

- When you loved me-- - Yeah, when I loved you.

But then you used to be funnier than this.

All we would ask is that you find

an alternative source for your comedy.

Otherwise the current situation

with regard to spending time with your son

- may be made permanent. - No.

No, no. No, no, no.

Our concern is that the continued separation

between my client and his son

compounds a growing parental alienation.

- I love my son. - You think this is loving him?

Sorry. I need a break.

- You off, then? - You need to stay calm.

Do not do this. Do not make threats with visitation.

- Do not screw with us. - It's not a threat.

We negotiated a settlement. We'd nearly agreed--

And how do you think Rex is gonna pay for it?

This tour. He needs this tour.

I'm concerned about him. He's on the edge. He really is.

No-one is disputing your client's right to tour.

Just his right to what's in it.

This is not fair on the kid.

When has divorce ever been fair on the kids?

- You're coming tonight? - Yeah, of course.

- Rosie called? - And texted.

Several times.

I could have brought stuff. I always bring stuff.

Yeah, well, this time, we did it.

- You get to give the speech. - Great. Lucked out there!

I'm tasked with balloons. Shiny.

It's a surprise party.

She knows. You know she knows.

No. She just hates birthdays.

Exactly. So a surprise party, it's insane.

Hey.

Christie Carmichael! [Laughs]

I last saw you the night before Hannah's wedding,

in our back garden... dancing so badly to Wonderwall.

Oh, please.

Hannah never approved of the illicit rave.

That is ridiculous. That is totally ridiculous

cos I raved. We raved.

You never raved. You took her in.

Your loss is our gain.

- You got grey. - Mm.

I like it.

The Dolan papers? Did you sign?

I... I left them on your desk.

I need them...signed and picked up in the next hour.

Right. Hannah. Nina.

Phwoar. He got better with age.

- Oh, please. - Seriously.

- Is he um... - Divorced.

Yeah, sorry. I know you prefer them attached.

[Game sound effects]

Hey...little man.

We need to find a compromise here.

Mm. Cutting, "My ex-wife swore a lot.

Sometimes I'd get offended just by what came out of her mouth.

For example, my best friend's cock." That might be a start.

[She sighs]

[Mouths]

It's always better for the child to see their dad.

Not always. Dad left us when you were seven.

- Eight. I was eight. - We did--

If he is fundamentally a good father--

- We did-- - It is better for the child--

We did fine!

[She sighs] You start with the tweets.

Cut the tweets and we might... get him his Wednesdays back.

[Phone ringing]

My client will desist with tweets

but he asks in return you consider giving back weekends.

On the proviso that any material

that also relates directly to my client

or the marital breakdown is removed

from any live tours or broadcasts.

A transcript of the modified material would be provided.

[Nina] Fine. - It would be

subject to approval, of course.

So, let's...regroup after lunch and review.

The stuff about when he was a baby.

When Eddie was a baby and that time...

when we were at your mother's and I started to leak.

You can keep that stuff.

You think?

I snorted out my tea when I read that bit.

[Phone buzzes and chimes]

Hey. How are you?

[Sarah] Yeah. All good. Good.

[Door closes]

The new man.

Support on my last tour.

That makes me the warm-up act.

- [Door opens] - Do you need me to get lunch?

- I think we're fine. - Not even for Eddie?

He's here?

- Eddie? - Sarah was forced

- to bring him with her today. - Eddie, it's Dad.

It will not help your case-- Take Sarah to my office.

Eddie?

Rex, please, this isn't helping anyone.

- Eddie! - Stop him.

- You stop him! - Eddie?

Call Security.

- Mr. Pope! [Rex] I'm sorry if I upset you.

It... Oh! I just want to see him.

- Right, that's enough. - Okay. Okay, okay. Alright.

Hey.

- Hey. Alright? - Eddie.

It's fine. It's okay. It's okay, buddy.

It's alright. Daddy's just...

I'm sorry, mate.

- Is he...? - In the boardroom.

I calmed him down.

He's not moving until he gets to talk to Eddie.

- He doesn't want lunch. - Fine.

Nil by mouth.

Smoke him out.

[Sighs] I don't want to fight.

No. You just don't want to fight unless it's with a smile.

I'm late.

- See you. Back at three. - What is bugging you today?

He's back. Dad.

I saw him.

This morning. Down in the square.

You recognized him?

I wouldn't.

Of course. You haven't seen him since you were seven.

Oh, eight the last time.

[They laugh]

[Sighs]

Did you speak to him?

And say what?

"Where have you been for the last 30 years?"

- Does he want to see us? - I don't know.

[Sighs]

I have to go.

Hannah... How did he look?

Old.

[Zander] Okay, as you all know,

we have been getting a lot of interest from Chicago.

Obviously, we're excited about expanding.

Excuse me interrupting, but...

- Nathan Stern. - Christie Carmichael.

Hong Kong clearly agreed with you.

Oh, you've been keeping track of me.

- You look well. - You owe me a fiver.

I kept my hair.

- Ah. - [Polite laughter]

Zander, Nathan Stern. Zander Hale.

- You represented Nichols. - Yeah. A challenging case.

- And won. - Yeah.

Nathan has been instrumental in changes to the law

involving foreign surrogates.

I keep track of you too.

Right. Well, I couldn't pass by without kissing my wife.

Your mother, one o'clock.

Still spinning your exit like a rabid hamster.

Enjoy your lunch.

[Phone ringing]

[Davey] Hello?

Um...

Would you...excuse me... a moment?

[Indistinct speech]

Davey McKenzie?

Apparently, he's unhappy with his solicitor.

Fortuitous that we put in a call.

Oh...

First rule: All bets are off

until the letter of engagement is signed.

That's invaluable advice.

- Are you coming tonight? - So you do know?

I said you'd know. You always know everything.

At least look surprised. If only for Rose's sake.

No speeches, by the way.

Ha.

Er...that's... That's not good.

We had a window of opportunity and it has been firmly closed.

- Yeah, I'll sort it-- - We've lost him.

There's nothing to sort.

Learn from this.

It won't happen again.

- No-one died. - [She exhales]

Not yet.

[Woman laughing]

You are so late.

And you are a part-time nanny. My work here is done.

Ow!

I've left Hannah like five messages.

- She's had a new haircut. - You've seen her?

Working on a case. Communicating by semaphore.

The Shining Christmas you didn't speak 'til--

May.

Is that when you were with Psycho John?

- Do you ever think of Dad? - No.

He walked out when I was two.

After I was left by the monkeys.

That's a myth of your own making.

It's what you and Hannah said.

God, I hate you two.

You say things, then you say you never said them.

Keep stuff from me.

Because you are young and impressionable.

I'm getting married in two months.

Exactly. How is the mouth breather, by the way?

- He has a sinus problem. - Aha.

And the other little problem?

He's not gay.

James is not gay. We live in fluid times.

If he was gay...he'd say.

I'm never getting drunk with you again.

He's gentle and you're irritating.

Essential part of my remit.

- I've gotta go! - Wh...?

Don't...make a scene tonight, okay?

No inappropriate behavior.

No getting drunk. No turning up with randoms! Nina!

Don't get blown away!

[Low chatter]

When Nina was in my office,

was the McKenzie letter of engagement out?

- Thank you. - Shall we?

You can see my client has made considerable strides to modify.

"My ex-wife was very sexually adventurous.

Her favorite thing was having sex in a public place -

- her vagina." - [He snorts]

My delivery's a bit better.

I'm talking about ex-wives in general.

"We used to enjoy doing the mannequin challenge,

or - as she called it - having sex."

I'm laughing at myself as much as I'm laughing at you, Sarah.

No, the joke is entirely on your wife.

- I've cut half my act. - Misogynistic,

deeply offensive, with little attempt to meet our demands--

- Leave me with something. - No. No more chances.

I'd like to consult with my colleague. A word?

Okay, cut to it, Hannah.

Davey McKenzie was my client.

Then you should have done a better job of keeping him.

You're taking it out on them and screwing this up.

- This isn't you. - But it is you.

- Don't go in my office again. - You walked out of Defoe's.

You don't tell me what to do now.

I do, however, give my client the best advice I can.

And I need to think about this child.

Therefore, we retract the offer of every Wednesday night

and we have no intention of extending visitation rights

- to weekends. - I have a father

who is not gonna leave until he sees his son.

Well, remind him you bill by the minute.

Third button. You might want to do that up.

You've consulted with your client?

I don't need to. She'll agree.

How about yours?

Is that better for you?

And, look, I'm not even smiling.

- Hannah? - Trust me on this, Sarah.

This is what you pay me for.

[Birdsong]

- [Tapping on keyboard] - [Bleep]

- [Tapping on keyboard] - [Bleep]

[Bleep]

[She groans]

[Lock clunks]

[Door creaks]

[Necklace rattling]

[Laughter]

- [Laughter continues] - Come on.

Something's different today.

[Italian opera in background]

That's where you've been hiding.

- [Woman laughs] - What?

Oh...

- No. - [Laughter]

You didn't?

Don always said he wanted them a little bigger, so...

- Carningham Clinic? - Yeah.

Didn't I say?

Ooh, just got to enjoy 'em now, love.

[Laughter]

Oh, golly.

To Don.

- Don. - Rest in peace.

[Glasses clink]

Oh, sweetheart.

You nursed him 'til the end.

No-one could have got better care.

Drink up.

Bubbles'll die.

[Glasses clink]

[Low chatter]

- See you, girls. - Bye.

- Charlie. [Charlie] Bye-bye, girls.

Are you alright?

Er...something and nothing with Davey.

It'll be fine.

Really?

I love you, Goldie.

Don't ever forget that, okay?

- Hi. - Oh, hiya.

Could you um...

- follow that cab? - Right. Okay, love.

[Suspenseful music]

♪

[Low chatter]

Yvonne.

[She gasps]

[Man] Oh, God...

..you gave...man...

the constant help of woman...

so that man and woman

should no longer be two flesh,

but one.

May the love that brought us here, together today,

continue to grow and...

mature

with each passing year.

Amen.

- Amen. - Amen.

[He sniffs]

- [Chuckling] - I know.

It can be strange when you're not used to it,

but I'm here not only to offer you spiritual guidance,

but also...emotional...

and practical.

- That's great. Sorry. - [Chuckling]

- You were rude. - Priests are funny.

He's a vicar.

It's ridiculous!

- And we don't even-- - I believe.

Don't say it. Don't...

- Do not say it. - That there's something.

Oh, my God. Are you gonna say it?

- I believe in Jesus. - [She laughs]

[He chuckles]

[Bicycle bell rings]

You were the one who wanted to get married in a church!

[Birdsong]

[Mellow music]

♪

Hannah.

[Laughs softly] You look just like your mother.

Um... Er...

Would... Would you er... give her this?

It is today, hm?

Her... Her birthday.

It... It didn't make the post, so if...if you could...

..would you mind?

My father went out to buy a newspaper...

and never came back.

I can only assume that while he was out,

some catastrophic accident happened.

There's no other acceptable reason

for how he could leave us like that.

- Hannah... - My father is dead.

[Knock on glass door]

Sarah's already gone with Eddie but he's refusing to go home.

He's still cutting material.

Nina said she'd wait, but...

apparently she's got a party to go to, so...

..so I said I'd wait.

I'll deal with it.

- Hannah... - Go home.

It's late.

Okay...

There are two ways this can go.

You can continue to talk about your ex-wife on this tour,

you can say exactly what you want...

and one day, if not now,

your son is going to pull you up on YouTube,

doing your set, and...

he's going to hate you for hating his mum.

Or talk about other stuff.

There must be other stuff.

You can't stop someone if they want to leave a marriage...

..however hard you try and make them stay.

And in...my experience...

it's always better...

..if he's fundamentally a good father...

..it's always better for the child to see their dad.

Did you ever hear the one about the stand-up and his agent?

One minute he's lying in bed listening to her snoring...

..and the next,

he's part of a story she will share with someone else.

And he still has to give her 10%.

[Elevator chimes]

[Elevator doors clatter]

You get Wednesday nights.

We can talk about weekends after that.

I got you banana.

Lovely boy.

Oh.

I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, buddy.

[Mouths]

Do you think they ever forgive you?

Children?

[Footsteps approaching]

See what we've got.

[Eddie] This is mine and this is mine.

- [Chatter in background] - [She exhales]

- [Pop] - [Doorbell rings]

- Vinnie, give one to me! - No, Tilly, they're mine!

- Hey, Dad. - Hey. You alright?

- Yeah. - You take that for me.

Thanks.

Nathan!

- [He chuckles] Hey. - Thank God you're here.

[She chuckles]

That very boring man I invited for Christmas--

- On it. Hello. - Hello.

How are you? Oh, sorry. Happy birthday.

What's happy about it?

It's a funeral where you smell your own flowers.

I should have died at 69, saved us all.

- Ha-ha. Be right back. - Nathan. Give me a hug.

- How are you? - Have some alcohol.

- Nice dress. - Thank you very much.

- You can borrow it later. - I will, I will.

- Oh, hello, James. - Hi.

- Are these two bothering you? [Tilly] Vinnie is.

- No, Tilly, I'm not. - Okay?

- Donna. - Oh, Nathan.

Mm. Mm.

- Finally alone at last! - Oh, yeah, promises, promises.

Ohh.

So she brought the man-child.

- Hannah here yet? - Uh-uh.

Nope. As ever.

Mm. You are gonna be MC, okay?

Oh, great - a promotion.

Last year I was on coat check. I'll take that.

The liver can regenerate to its full size

when shrunk to 25% of itself.

That is why you're gonna be a doctor

and I'm gonna keep drinking.

Why is your mother always late?

- How's your boyfriend? - He's good.

- Sex yet? - Mm... [Giggles]

[Footsteps approaching]

- You look... - [She laughs] Oh, God.

Your zip.

Oh. Oh.

You and Nathan today...

What?

You know what.

The edge?

It was just like in moot court when we were kids.

What happened to us? We--

Shared a shitty flat. A long time ago.

No. No, what happened to us?

I got married.

I got babies.

- I grew up. - [laughs] Yeah. You did.

The night before your wedding--

No. No, we...

we don't talk about that night.

- You and I-- - If this is to work,

we don't talk about that.

Right.

[He sighs]

Nina seemed in good form.

She suggested we grab a drink sometime.

Well, she's a cheap date.

You don't mind?

I love my husband.

That's not what I said.

[He chuckles]

- Davey McKenzie. - I won't go after him.

His wife's here. Boardroom 8.

You'd better...

[Goldie] I was trying to add up how many hours

I've spent married.

How many hours I have spent...

..listening to him...

cooking for him, washing for him, screwing him.

I'd see my girlfriends checking their husbands' pockets

for hotel receipts or...a phone for a deleted message.

And I was always so grateful that my Davey wasn't like that.

I should have remembered - he is a businessman.

He always said...

"See, Goldie...

little thieves get hanged, great ones escape."

Well, not any more.

Mrs. McKenzie, I believe your husband's appointed

another solicitor.

Yeah, I heard. So represent me.

Give me the divorce you would want

if you were to ever find yourself here.

[Blondie] "Heart Of Glass" - [Chatter]

Biologically, man is not designed

to watch the mating rituals of his children.

[Song continues]

[Phone chimes]

♪ Once I had a love and it was divine ♪

♪ Soon found out I was losing my mind ♪

♪ It seemed like the real thing but I was so blind ♪

[Doorbell rings]

Oh! She's right. New hair!

[James chuckles] Looks good.

Ah, that's why I like you.

- Apology? - I'm going in here.

Oh.

- Hey. - Brace yourself.

What did I do?

- [Hip-hop music] - Oh, sorry. Sorry.

No, no, no! Not on my watch!

This music must die.

You'll kill the old people.

Give it to me.

No. No more. I'm not having it.

- Mummy. [Blondie] "Heart of Glass"

- Hey, Donna. - Hey.

I'll say this one more time.

What have we got to do to get you back?

Aw.

Hi.

♪ Seemed like the real thing

♪ Only to find - Mum!

♪ Mucho mistrust, love's gone behind ♪

♪ Once I had a love

[Muffled party music]

Erm, what are you doing?

Wear that.

Why?

There must be some reason Mum's kept all this shit.

[Laughter]

- Sexy? - You look really good.

[Pretenders] "Middle Of The Road"

♪ The middle of the road

♪ Is trying to find me

♪ I'm standing in the middle of life with my plans behind me ♪

Whoosh!

[Laughter]

Hannah! Get in here now.

- Get in here now. - Quickly.

Okay, hat.

- Ohh. - Okay, okay. Okay, serious.

Serious. A jacket.

- Oh, no. Really? - Oh, okay.

- Yes, yes. - Okay, maybe...

Maybe...

Once we've cut the cake, I'm out of here.

- Okay, okay. - [Laughter]

♪ In the middle of the road

♪ You see the darnedest things ♪

Mm-mm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Great.

Marge Simpson meets Sunset Boulevard.

[Chuckling]

Our mother is a hoarder.

Ooh, these are prehistoric.

What are they doing out?

Oh, I thought there might be

something I could use for the wedding.

- You should've asked. - Okay.

Erm... Please may I use your tapes?

- No. - Rozabell, back slowly away.

Don't do that. Don't make me always have to be the grown up!

These are my tapes.

Mine. You don't just take something that is not yours

and leave the rest of us to pick up the shit!

- Hannah? - Okay.

Erm...

We should go downstairs

to that thing known to some as a party, Hannah.

- Did you tell her? - Tell me what?

- Not yet. - Tell me what?

What?

Okay. Rose... You're gonna cry in a minute.

But it is okay.

What, you've got a terminal illness?

I saw Dad today.

What?

- He just turned up. [Nathan] Hannah!

- Hannah. - What?

Your moment has arrived. Speech.

Shit - cake.

[Footsteps thudding on stairs]

[She exhales]

[Hannah] Where do I start...

- with Ruth Alice Defoe... - [Chuckling]

..The "Doyenne of Family Law", as quoted by The Times.

[Cheering and applause]

Erm... When I was um...

..er, younger...

a lot younger than I am now,

ah, I er...

..remember you standing in this living room...

glass of wine in hand...

..and you were dancing.

Now, not many of you have seen my mother dance...

ah, but...when I was a child...

she liked to dance.

Anyway, she was dancing...

and um...

I must have asked her something like..."What are you doing?"

And...

I'll never forget your reply.

"Hannah, the...thing you need to know in life

is men will come and go.

So the only relationship...

..really worth having...

is the one you have with yourself."

I've always admired that.

And you raised three children.

You built up Defoe's

and you did it... all on your own.

But, more than that, you always...

..made it feel like it was just the four of us...

..against the world.

That we didn't need anyone else.

And we didn't.

Until life and er love and er, er, boys...

- [Chuckling] - ..erm...came along.

So...to my...beautiful...

- [Fizzing] - ..strong...

indestructible mother.

- Happy birthday! - [Cheering]

Thank you! Thank you, thank you.

I love you all.

More than you will ever know.

Now...go! Dance!

And we will never talk of this again.

Oh.

[Chatter]

[Music resumes]

[Laughter]

I said, "No speeches."

It was quite touching, as far as speeches go.

You signed Davey McKenzie.

We need him.

Defoe's needs him.

He's just a shit. Davey McKenzie's a...shit,

and you're going to make that divorce even shittier.

Divorce shouldn't be easy.

It's there to remind you that however bad it is

in that god-awful state called marriage,

getting out will be an even greater hell.

Who says it has to be terrible? There is another way.

[Nathan] Vinnie! Tilly!

You want some pizza?

[Vinnie] Tilly. - I'll take that as a yes.

[Tilly] Vinnie, move.

I relied on you, Hannah.

I counted on you.

And you walked out.

You know, maybe it's because I'm...

tired of being the one relied upon.

Counted on.

Be careful, Hannah.

Family is fragile.

No-one is immune to it breaking, not even you.

And I'm afraid you'll abandon it before it abandons you.

I blame your father for that.

Well, you can tell him.

I saw him today.

Why now?

Why does he come back now?

Oh, the up-side...

he wrote you a card.

It's on the mantelpiece.

[She gasps softly]

[Music and chatter]

[Indistinct banter]

Tell your dad I'm ordering a cab.

[Phone chimes]

Alright.

Bye.

Children.

[Clove] "Better Now"

♪ Then I hear you leave

♪ And I'm happy

♪ Just for a moment I'm free - See you.

♪ Then it dawns on me

♪ Then our time has passed... ♪

♪ Now it won't last - Hey.

♪ And I'm getting nowhere fast ♪

♪ And that's a fact

♪ Peace to the night

♪ Saw what I was really like

♪ Start with a kiss, end with a fight ♪

♪ Peace come and go

♪ Acting like you didn't know

♪ That I have lost my head

♪ Whoo-ooh-hoo

♪ Whoo-ooh-hoo

- [Phone chimes] ♪ And I'll leave

♪ But I swear that I'm better now ♪

♪ You gots to just find me

♪ You know that I'm guilty

♪ You said settle down

♪ And I said "Get the...out"

♪ Burn your pictures - [Phone chimes]

♪ Outburst

♪ I love the way you acting tough ♪

♪ And I'll never be good enough ♪

♪ I'm just too much

♪ Whoo-ooh-hoo

♪ Whoo-ooh-hoo

♪ And I'll leave

♪ But I swear that I'm better now ♪

♪ Better now

♪ I'm better now

♪ Better now

♪ Better now