Original subtitles

If the FBI were a private corporation...

...the agent responsible for a raid, would get a piece of the pie.

What you really want is revenge on the FBI.

What are you proposing?

You raid that money before the FBI does.

We'll do all the work for you.

Have you guys figured out where the cash is hiding in your nightclub?

Well, you certainly can't be going into this raid blind.

All we know is that half a million dollars in illegal cash...

...is hiding somewhere inside.

You won't last one hour without getting read.

Not if you help me look right.

If I help you and you pull this off...

...I get ten percent of whatever you're stealin' from that club.

Deal.

If he's a lying sack of shit...

...she can figure it out without your help.

We are stealing this money, we're giving it to Lashever...

...then we're going to pick up Jacob.

We searched everywhere, sir, but there was no money.

It's okay, boys.

You learned a very valuable lesson.

Next time, maybe you'll accept guidance from your superiors.

In the meantime, I hear they're hiring mall cops down at the Asheville Pavilion.

Fifty thousand.

I said I would be back.

You wanna pick up Jacob and then you wanna steal 50,000 dollars.

We don't have a choice.

It's only an hour and a half from here.

It's not even out of the way.

What?

Suddenly, you have a rich grandmother I've never heard of.

-So? -So we're about to pick up Jacob.

We should not bring him along...

...while you steal 50,000 dollars from this... grandmother.

We're not stealing it.

We're just getting it.

You are scheming something. I know you.

Not very well if you don't even know I have a grandmother.

She's Estelle's mom. She's real.

Trust me.

And she's just going to give you 50,000 dollars?

Yes, because she's insanely rich.

Then we'll give Lashever the money...

...this will all be over, and we can go back to Tybee.

-And then what? -And then...

We live.

Let's just get Jacob now.

We are still a half hour early.

When I Facetimed with Jacob...

...he said Sean and Bethenny were having a weird party.

What kind of a weird party?

I don't know. But if we surprise them early...

...they might not have time to hide whatever it is.

Knowing Sean, he's probably cooking meth in the basement.

-You're early. -No traffic.

Jacob isn't packed yet.

No problem. We'll wait.

Such a cute house.

Bless you.

Oh, I meant to say sorry about the dog thing.

I forgot you were allergic.

No worries at all.

He's so cute.

He's in the laundry room in the travel cage we got him.

He's all ready to go.

Is Jacob almost ready to go?

Jacob?

I'm finishing packing.

He didn't expect you so early either.

Oh, we bought him all those books he needed for school.

Five hundred dollars for school books.

You can Venmo me the 250.

Keep the change.

Who are those people?

Members of our church.

We hold prayer meetings out there.

Letty. Letty, wait.

What the hell?

You're shooting porn again?

That's actually what our production company's called.

With Jacob under your roof?

Oh, no. Jacob doesn't know anything about it.

Jesus Christ, Sean.

Please, don't use the Lord's name in vain.

-Are you serious, bitch? -Well, it's all completely legit.

Okay, okay, please, everybody.

Calm down.

Porn Again is just our home business.

We make adult films for Christian couples.

Wait. Is she serious? Porn Again?

-It's a play on words. -Oh, no, I get it.

That's why Eve was just about to blow Adam.

It's Mary and Joseph.

I can't. I just can't.

I know it might seem unusual...

...but we are doing our fellow Christian families...

...a great service.

The videos are an aid to keep sex exciting...

...between married couples...

...to help keep them on the straight and narrow.

I'll bet.

Has Sean ever told you about how we met?

Make sure he tells you the whole story.

It's really sweet.

He taught me so many things.

Like how to shoot myself up with heroin.

I remember it so well because it was my 19th birthday present.

Oh, and you might wanna Google his porn name, Johnson Biggs.

You get it?

He was pretty famous in his day.

But first, go get my fucking son.

Hey, Jacob. Did you decide on his name?

Fred.

-I like Fred. -Jacob, did you...?

Did you ever see what was going on in Sean's garage?

Yeah, but it's not real porn.

What do you mean it's not real porn?

They don't have real sex like normal porn on the Internet.

How do you know about normal...?

So Sean and Bethenny told you what they were doing?

They let you in the garage?

No.

They thought I didn't know, but it was kind of obvious.

-Why didn't you call me and tell me? -I don't know.

I keep your secrets, so I figured I should keep their secrets, too.

How long till we get back to the beach house?

Oh, I have a surprise for you.

We're making a stop on the way...

...so you can meet your great-grandma, Alice.

I didn't know I had a great-grandma.

Neither did I.

-Is this a plantation? -No.

I think it's a plantation.

No. They don't have plantations anymore.

Don't worry.

Darlings.

There you are.

Welcome to Rolling Oaks Plantation.

Hello there.

Alice Jasper.

Nice to meet you.

Sweetheart.

I've missed you.

I missed you, too.

And this must be my great-grandson.

-Are you Nana's mom? -Sort of.

Yes. She is.

At least biologically.

And you've brought your dog.

And he looks like a winner to me, huh?

Royce Jasper. Everyone calls me R.J.

Letty.

I know. I've heard a lot about you.

It's all true.

Javier... and Jacob.

Yeah, Alice has given me the whole rundown...

...and I'm good with names.

Well, come in, come in.

Will the dog pee everywhere?

-Maybe. -I'll stay outside with Jacob and Fred.

We can't stay long anyway.

Nonsense. You just got here.

-R.J., could you...? -Yep, yep, yep. Come on, boys.

Let's go take a bathroom walk, huh?

You need to see the house.

We just use it to make people jealous.

When was the last time I saw you, Leticia?

Oh, yes, I remember.

It was right around the time my Porsche 911 went missing.

Well, I learned from the best.

Don't even think about it.

I've already locked away the really good stuff.

It's no fun if it's easy.

That's my line. Steals everything.

There's something at the house almost every week.

Big fundraiser tonight for Alzheimer's or something.

Can't remember.

Javier is big into philanthropy.

I used to be a fundraiser...

...for celebrities.

But it was a crazy life.

The straw that broke the camel's back was Gwyneth Paltrow.

If that isn't the biggest pile of Letty Raines bullshit...

...I've ever heard, I don't know what is.

It's better when I tell it.

Excuse me.

Well, he is gorgeous.

Your accent is terrible.

Are you a cotton farmer?

No. No, no, I'm in finance.

But my ancestors, they were cotton farmers.

During the war of Northern aggression.

You mean the Civil War.

Oh, yeah.

You know something? This could all be yours one day.

That's okay. I'm good.

And then we took a ride with that guy.

Oh, my God.

Oh, no. No, wait.

Wait, it was that yacht.

It was that yacht on Biscayne Bay.

-Don't you remember? -Yeah.

With the ugly strippers.

And that rapper guy Master Z or something.

-And the boat started taking on water... -Yes.

...so we got in that rubber dinghy with a quarter million of his gold chains.

And we never took our high heels.

What were we thinking?

Oh, Letty. I miss those days.

Well, it wasn't all fun and games.

We almost got ourselves killed a couple of times.

Well, it's no fun if it's easy. Are you ready?

Oh, my God.

I have one just like this, but I had to dye it black.

Can I borrow?

Oh, you never borrowed anything in your life.

-I'm sorry about the Porsche. -Yeah.

Thanks for not sending me to jail.

Well, I thought about it.

But as it turns out, you were already there.

Glad you got out.

Good behavior.

-Sounds boring. -So boring.

But really, what's with the British accent?

-It's so bad. -God, I know.

Well, when I was introduced to R.J., it just came out...

...and now I'm stuck with it.

These old Southern blue bloods love it, though.

Plus, I get to bury my backstory in British nobility nobody can disprove.

What's your story these days?

I'm just, you know, trying to do the normal thing.

Raising Jacob.

It's not easy.

Which is why I'm here.

-How much? -Fifty thousand.

-For what? -Raising a kid.

-When do you need it? -Like, now.

We can't stay.

Oh, Letty, come on. You just got here.

I'll come back another time and we can hang out for real.

I just...

We just need to get out of here.

So do I.

But it's not that easy.

What?

I know R.J. is screwing around on me, but I can't prove it.

So just leave. That's your whole thing.

No, it's different with R.J.

With R.J., I get 80 percent.

I mean, of everything.

It's the ultimate payday, but only if he cheats.

No.

No way. I am not seducing another one of your husbands.

But it worked so well that one time.

That was a million years ago.

Things are different now. I'm a mother.

Jesus, Alice, I'm on a deadline.

For what? Getting school supplies at Staples?

Just please give me the money.

Nothing in life is free, babe.

You're the one who taught me everything in life is free.

Well, not this time.

I've never had any problem getting men to divorce me for 50 percent...

...but R.J. won't do that no matter how impossible or crazy I get.

No way. No way.

-Ain't hard to like. -No.

You don't have to sleep with him.

You just have to get him to try.

I need proof.

No. You and Sofia cannot come live with me.

Just call your mom.

Well, then you have to tell me where you are.

Now, my great-great-great uncle, he fought in the Battle of Antietam.

You heard of the Battle of Antietam?

My great-great-great-great-great grandfather was in the Civil War, too.

Now, you don't say.

Yeah, his name was Robert Smalls.

He was a slave who freed himself, his crew, and their families...

...from slavery by commandeering a Confederate transport ship...

...in Charleston Harbor and sailing it to the U.S. Blockade.

He was a hero.

Very impressive.

Well, hi, Mom.

Oh, that reminds me.

It's time for cocktails. See you in a few.

It's only 1:00.

That's not true about Sean's ancestors.

I know. They're from Canada.

Robert Smalls was a guy we learned about last year...

...during Black History Month.

-Why did you lie? -I don't know.

I was kind of tired of listening to a white guy talk...

...about his slave-owning relatives.

Okay, well...

...unfortunately, we have to stay here a little longer than I thought.

Why is your grandma from England?

Will you give us a second, Jacob?

Everything okay? No.

Daniela and Sofia ran away.

They're mad at Ava.

It's something to do with Teo, but the reception kept cutting out.

-Where are they? -The bus station in Savannah.

They want to come live with us.

-Holy shit. -I know.

I told them to wait there, so we need to go.

-Did you get the money? -Not yet.

-Why? -It's tricky.

You said she would just give it to you.

She will, but I can't look like I just came for the money.

I have to find the right time to ask.

Now is a good time. I have to go to the girls.

I know. Okay, you go.

I'll stay with Jacob and get the money.

Look...

I'll get it by the end of the night...

...and then we're home free.

It's your girlfriend.

She's not my girlfriend.

Her name is Letty.

Stop defending her.

You better be standing outside with a trunk full of cash.

-Can you see what I'm wearing? -No.

A seafoam green bridesmaid's dress.

Remember that bachelorette video in the Sprinter?

My sister Mary Ann is getting married to some fuck nugget...

...from New Jersey.

Wedding is tonight.

That's nice.

No, not nice.

Did you ever see a 62-year-old Bridezilla?

It's a shit show.

Where is my money?

That's why I'm calling.

We got most of it, but I can't bring you the whole amount...

...until tomorrow.

Will you take 450?

I can get that to you now.

This is not the William Morris Agency.

You don't get ten percent.

Please, just one more day.

I swear, I'll have it to you by tomorrow.

Aren't you at the wedding tonight, anyway?

Tomorrow by 5:00, and don't think I don't know exactly where you are.

Okay, yeah. Thanks.

Have fun at the wedding.

Why can't it be our wedding?

Why can't...? What?

Why not us get married?

Yeah, I know what this is.

This is that thing you do where you lead me down a path...

...and I believe you...

...and then you smack me down with peals of laughter.

Obviously, we're not getting fucking married.

Oh, so romantic.

I propose...

...and you doubt my intentions with foul language.

Why do you have tuxedos for kids just lying around?

Well, when you have as many black-tie affairs as we do...

...you need backups.

I Googled your ancestors.

I found out your great-great grandfather owned 600 slaves...

...and died of something called syphilis.

Well, those were different times.

You look very handsome in that tux.

Thanks.

What?

You're really up shit's creek.

That money isn't for Jacob.

It is, in a way.

If I don't get it, I'll never see him again.

I'll be in prison.

Well, that doesn't make much sense.

Yeah, look, you don't want me to explain it.

So if you get the money, what then?

-Off to the next scam? -No.

We have a house.

Jacob starts school next week.

Javier has a job.

He's a cook.

And what are you going to do?

Be Jacob's mom.

Letty, look at me.

Do you remember how good I was?

Alice Lewis. One of the great uncredited jewel thieves in American history...

...and in the '70s, I had a pretty good run in Europe, to boot...

...but it wasn't all talent.

I was young and I needed that high.

And it let me get away with things I could never get away with now...

...things you're getting away with.

Eventually, I had to switch it up.

So I'm just wondering...

...what is your game plan?

To have my own family.

To raise Jacob into a good person.

Why are you making me work so hard for this?

Because working is how normal people make money.

Hi.

Oh, my...

My God, it's been so weird not seeing you.

I know. It's been weird for me, too.

We missed you.

And I'm sure your mom misses you right now.

-No, she doesn't. -She's probably scared to death.

No, she's not.

She hasn't noticed we're gone. She hasn't even called us.

Let's go.

Don't make us go back.

He can't make us go back.

No one can make us do anything.

This is America.

Okay.

Let's get some food.

You don't get it.

That Teo guy literally moved in.

To our house.

Your mother must've wanted him to move in.

Obviously.

He clings to her like a leech and she loves it.

Doesn't sound like your mom.

That's what we're trying to tell you. She's not herself.

And she can't even see it.

Sometimes it's hard to see yourself.

But she can't even see how gross he is.

He thinks he's our dad.

The guy showed up, like, ten days ago...

...and now he's our dad and lives in our house.

Have you talked to your mom about this?

We can't even make eye contact with her without him staring back at us.

Does it seem like Teo's doing drugs?

I mean, if you told me he was a major druggie...

...I would be like, "Okay."

Is he?

Maybe that explains the Wi-Fi thing.

What Wi-Fi thing?

He changed the password to the Wi-Fi in our house...

...and then wouldn't give it to us for, like, three hours.

Thank you. Thank you.

Okay.

-I still have to call your mom. -No.

This will all be okay. I promise.

-Sofia, I need your phone. -Why?

She won't pick up if it's him.

Sure.

Thank you.

Where's the bar?

Is drinking and driving a good idea?

If by driving, you mean trying to fuck your husband...

Champagne?

Thank you.

Do you wanna see what this is worth?

Total steal, right?

That's worth at least a hundred.

-Vodka martini, bruised with a twist. -Yes, ma'am.

I told you, I'll have the cash tomorrow.

It's me, Christian.

-It's me, Christian. -Hi, Lefty.

-Are you okay? -Guess what?

I got married.

No, you didn't. You're drunk.

You're at Lashever's sister's wedding.

I know, but we got married on the way.

You can...

You can congratulate us tomorrow when you bring me my money by 5.

Or no more Mrs Nice Guy.

Hey. Can I actually get another one?

-For a friend. -No problem.

Oh, come on.

No, no, no...

Don't waste your time.

He's obviously sleeping with that girl.

Miss Savannah Sperm Bank?

Sweetheart...

You don't think I already barked up that twat?

I need real intent to penetrate.

Fine.

But if I can prove she's sleeping with him, then I don't have to.

However you get the job done, but she beats him at tennis.

You're off your game, babe.

Having a kid'll do that.

And stiff as a board.

Never that, never that.

Oh, Letty, come on over.

-Everyone, this is my... -Oh, no blood relation.

Hey, hands off, bitch.

R.J.'s mine.

Me, but on "Southern Charm."

So you're an actress?

No.

It's a reality show.

Oh, so you're on a reality show.

No.

R.J. and my granddaddy were best friends growing up.

And ever since my granddaddy died, R.J. has been nothing but good to me.

I love him more than, like, anyone in the world.

Maybe they should auction you off.

Not a chance.

He's priceless.

Is there any way you could get me another champagne?

-Sure. -Thank you.

Isn't she a doll?

You're a doll.

Let's go. In the car now.

-Oh, my God. Chill out. -Now.

Hi, Dad.

Ava.

Well, goodbye forever, I guess.

Not forever.

You moved into my sister's house.

You accused me of killing Silk.

Are you doing coke again?

I've been clean 15 years.

Why did you change the Wi-Fi password in Ava's house?

Because, speaking of cocaine...

...have you noticed those girls on their phones?

Social media addiction is an actual chemical thing.

And I don't judge.

I know your life has been complicated.

But I'll take care of Ava and the girls.

You take care of Letty and Jacob.

How do you know his name?

Ava told me.

You're lucky to have a new family of your own.

Go be with them.

Ava will always be my family.

Of course she will.

But you need to give her time.

And you need to give me a chance.

Please stay away.

You do understand who you are, right?

I do.

I'm the person people hire to kill people who have fuck with them.

Or hurt someone in their family that they love.

I'm very good at it.

And they never, ever see me coming.

You can go now.

Everybody, this handsome lad is my grandson.

-Great-grandson. -Yes, quite so.

Great-grandson. Isn't he the sweetest fellow?

Shall we play some make believe?

Actually, he's from Zimbabwe.

My granddaughter adopted him...

...from one of those villages with all the flies.

It's just like Angelina Jolie.

What's his name?

Imamu.

I love it. What does it mean?

Oh, oh, no, no, no.

He just got here.

He doesn't speak much English yet.

But he's going to learn, isn't he?

Of course he is.

Well, I can't sit here all night or Alice will kill me.

No.

Well...

-Bye, R.J. -Yeah.

Okay, be honest.

About what?

You and R.J.

He's a real sweetheart.

And rich.

So rich.

I mean, it's kind of obvious what's going on between you two.

Don't worry, I'll keep your secret...

...but you might want to tone it down a little.

Between me and R.J.?

Who have you been talkin' to?

No one.

I've been sitting here.

Honey, my family owns half of South Carolina.

I don't need some old man's money.

He's sweet, and we flirt, but it's the South, babe, it's what we do.

That can't be all you do.

You're right.

I also go to him for financial advice.

He's not my type.

That's my type.

Hey.

What happened? Are the girls okay?

We'll talk later. Let's go.

Did you get the money?

No. Not yet.

-Almost. -Almost?

So when Letty telephoned from Africa, I said...

"You have got to adopt that little boy."

She saved that boy's life.

Do you know what? He saved us right back.

-I'm taking Jacob out of here. -Great.

Hey, Jacob. Let's go.

I need to talk to you for a moment.

You have one hour.

The boyfriend.

They're thinking of changing his name to Jacob.

But I like Imamu.

No more champagne.

That necklace was donated by Bitsy Caldwell.

It was an heirloom.

Whatever.

They'll blame it on a cater waiter.

R.J. isn't cheating on you.

Not with Savannah, anyway.

I told you that.

Jesus, Letty.

I give you a simple goddamn job to do.

I did a better job.

I don't need any jewelry.

I need to get out of here.

It's worth a hundred.

-You can have it for 50... -I'm not playing with you, girl.

You just don't get it, do you? I am done with all this.

This is my last job.

No more acting, no more lying.

Just goddamn tired.

I want my own life back.

Just me, myself, and a villa in Portofino.

And you're just gonna leave R.J. with only 20 percent of his money?

He'll be fine.

You're heartless.

Everyone has a heart.

But I know mine.

It's just like yours.

It's only so big.

And it wears you out.

It wears other people out.

And there's not a shot in hell...

...Javier won't bounce when you finally wear him out.

I don't need a lecture.

Well, then, get back to work.

Yes.

You know, Jacob...

...that was wrong of Alice to make up that story about you.

It's okay.

I think she just wanted those people to like her.

And it's fun to pretend to be someone else.

Yeah, I know, but lying just leads to more lies.

You should always tell the truth if you can.

Everybody lies.

Not everybody.

You do.

I...

Sometimes, yeah.

We all do sometimes.

But once you start to lie, believe me...

...it is very difficult to stop.

But if you stop now, you can have a life that is truthful...

...a life where you can be proud of who you are...

...where you don't have to pretend to be someone else.

So now I can use my real name when I start my new school.

Let's talk to your mom about that.

-...been what? Illegal. -Absolutely.

Letty. Later, gentlemen.

Let's go for a walk.

I haven't seen the rest of your property.

Just us.

I don't think Javier would like that.

I'm not married to Javier.

But I'm married to Alice.

-I'm sorry. I gotta go. -Letty.

I know what you're trying to do.

And I know Alice put you up to it.

She's been trying to leave me since the day we got married.

Oh, come on.

That British accent?

Then why are you with her?

'Cause I love her in spite of it all.

Maybe I love her because of it all.

And it doesn't bother you that she's trying to take all your money?

I haven't held on to my money all these years...

...by being some silver-spooned idiot.

I've always had my pick of women because, well, you know...

...money and good looks.

But there's nobody like Alice.

She's a blast.

She's the woman I want to finish this life with.

And if you found someone that feels the same way about you...

...don't you throw him away.

Oh, what's wrong?

Alice was paying me to get the goods on you.

It's money I need to get out of some deep shit.

How much?

Fifty thousand dollars.

Cash okay?

Yeah.

All right. Come with me.

-That was fun. -Yeah.

You're getting to be a very good player.

You're pretty good, too.

It's okay, it's okay. Jacob.

Listen to me. It's okay.

It's okay. You're okay now.

Jacob, listen to me, that man, he was just trying to steal our car.

-Did you shoot him? -Yes. Just a little. Yes.

Look at me, Jacob. It's okay.

I'm gonna call your mom to come get you, okay?

And we're gonna call the police.

It's okay.

We'll sit for a minute.

Let's just sit for a minute.

Sit here for a minute, that's it.

That's it, buddy.

That's it. It's okay.

It's okay.

I know.

I know.

I gotta hand it to you, you got me on this one.

Well, we're the same.

Not completely.

Right. You're 40 years older.

You really were like a mother to me.

Oh, sweetheart, let's be real.

I recruited you into going on crime sprees.

It doesn't mean I don't love you, but I was nothing like a mother.

I've never told you this story...

...because, frankly, it's one I'd rather forget.

But it was 1968.

I was living with this guy...

...who may or may not be your grandfather.

And I was seven and a half months pregnant with your mother.

But it didn't show much and I hid it really well...

...so nobody knew.

We were living in a van.

And we had run out of party money...

...so we decided that we would stick up a liquor store.

But the owner didn't mess around and he started shooting at us...

...with a double-barreled shotgun.

He caught Andy in the thigh, I trip over a curb...

Andy's the guy who might be your grandfather.

...and I went down hard, and it put me right into labor.

But when I had Estelle, I...

I didn't give a second thought about giving her up.

I knew I couldn't raise her.

Even though she would hate me, and I knew she'd hate me...

...the rest of my life and the rest of hers.

I knew I couldn't give up chasing that rush of adrenaline.

I couldn't give up the fun.

I couldn't give up myself.

And neither can you.

We chose this life.

Estelle didn't.

And neither did Jacob.

You can't drag him around with you while you and Javier...

...do whatever the hell it is you guys are doing.

-I don't wanna hear this. -But you have to.

No, I love Jacob.

He's the most important thing in my life.

Love isn't always enough.

I'll tell you who ended up being a good mother, your mother.

Of all people.

Jacob belongs with her.

And I think you know it.

Go to hell.

You didn't even try to be a good mother.

At least I still have a chance.

There's more than one way to be a good mother.

And if you think for one minute...

...you are ever going to have the last word with me...

...think again.

Where are you guys?

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Are you okay?

He saw me shoot that guy who tried to steal our car.

Okay.

Okay, I got you. You're all right.

The police are on their way.

Just take him back to Alice's house.

I'll come get you when I finish here with the police.

Okay.

Where are we going?

Nana's.

We're taking you home.