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Settle in, relax, and prepare your mind
for tonight's feature presentation.
A transformative experience brought to you by Mallard,
your company for life.
Where's my phone?
Where the fuck am I?
Hey.
Hello!
Hello!
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
Fuck!
What the fuck?
I don't know where I'm at, man.
Where am I?
Anybody?
Would you shut the fuck up?
It's loud enough in here without you yelling in my ear.
Hello! You can hear me?
Huh?
Chill, man, yes, I-I can hear you.
Oh, shit.
Hey, man. Who-who are you?
What's... What's going on, huh?
Oh, fuck, you're still coming outta the hole, aren't you?
I gotta admit, I'm-I'm kinda jealous.
What the fuck are you talking about?
What hole? I don't... I'm not supposed to be here.
It's the... the propofol hole.
They dosed you.
Oh, fuck, you are gonna feel depressed as a motherfucker for the next few days.
It's gonna suck.
And tomorrow's gonna be rough for a few reasons.
What the fuck are you talking about?
Fuck, I gotta get back to work, man.
Listen, I'm gonna holler at you later.
- I gotta go. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey, hey. Hey, hey. Hey.
Hey! Hey!
Hey.
What is this?
Fuck this shit.
Fuck this. Nah. No, no, no.
No, I'm not supposed to be here.
Wait, wait. Hold on.
Hey, look, look. Hey, come back.
Come back here.
Look, look, I need your help.
Pl-please, please get me up outta here.
Back away.
Just hear me out.
I got, I got, I got a wife.
And she-she's pregnant.
I got a pregnant wife, man.
I'm not supposed to be here.
Please get me up outta here.
Back away, employee.
Employee? No, no. I'm-I'm-I'm not... I'm not an employee.
I-I don't work here at all, okay?
Work... I work at Mallard.
I'm-I'm a manager at Mallard.
That-that-that's right. I'm... work on the fifth floor.
I'm not supposed to be here.
- I don't work here... - How does it feel?!
Fuck!
Shit!
Where the fuck am I?
I don't deserve this. I'm not supposed to be here.
I'm not supposed to be here.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!
Shit.
Hello, Joe, and welcome to advanced career training.
We are excited to have you join our program
and are confident that you will make significant progress
towards becoming the best version of yourself.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, hey, hey, Mallard.
Uh, location, please.
Oh, no.
Hey, turn it back on!
Mallard! Mallard, information, please.
Come on, come on, Mallard, information please!
It's broken or something.
It's not broken.
It's working. Just not for us.
Hey, hey, hey, friend, what's up, man?
What, what, what, what's going on?
Uh, it's a countdown to midnight.
What-what happens at midnight?
You'll see.
What do you mean I'll see? What-what are you saying, huh?
Hey, I don't wanna ruin the last few hours of peace you have left.
Peace?
You have no fucking idea.
Come on, come on, just-just let me know a little more.
Matter of fact, what, what, what, what's your name?
Hey, everybody, do we do names around here?
- Go fuck yourself! - Fuck you!
Welcome to the neighborhood.
The fuck you mean neighborhood?
Hello?
Who else is fuckin' here?
- Kiss my ass! - Shut the fuck up!
I'm trying to fucking sleep!
This is so... Is this fucking real, man?
Who are all these people?
They're your people.
What people? What the fuck are you sayin'?
This is the paperclip factory, my friend,
solving supply and demand problems by eliminating
all of the people who actually supply and demand.
It's where you're sent when you piss off the duck.
Piss off the duck.
Piss off the duck. Piss off...
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, no, no, no.
That's not Mallard.
Yeah.
You haven't figured it out?
This place is Mallard.
Wait, wait.
This place is Mallard?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
It can't be.
Yeah, it's not gonna make any sense right now.
Forget it, but it will.
Just try to get some sleep tonight, man.
Tomorrow is gonna be the longest day of your life.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Please, I'm sorry.
I'll-I'll do better tomorrow.
I promise! I promise!
Anybody else hear that?
I'm sorry!
What the fuck is going on?
What the fuck?
No! No!
Oh, God!
This termination is brought to you by Mallard Revive.
A comprehensive health and wellness haven
meticulously designed to cater
to the multifaceted aspects of your existence.
Our holistic approach encompasses the delicate balance
of your spiritual, physical, and cognitive dimensions,
- ensuring a harmonious path to well-being. - Oh, shit.
- Mallard Revive... - Oh.
...where your essence is our priority.
Happy Mallard morning.
Another beautiful day in the neighborhood, right?
Right?
Right.
Cells must be kept spotless.
Failure to dispose of waste will result in severe punishment.
Wait, where you, where do you want me to put it?
In the corner, your shithole.
Clean up, or don't.
Hey, neighbor, they're not fuckin' around.
Listen to what he said.
Put your shit in the shithole.
Oh! Hey.
Did you hear that last night?
Did I hear what?
The screams. What you mean what?
Oh, shit. Yeah, last night.
Yeah, yep, I heard it.
Right, what was that?
It was our nightly motivational speech.
Nightly motivational?
The-the-the screams all that, that-that...
that happens every night?
Trust me, you're gonna get used to it.
Hey, what did I say, man? Don't forget your trash.
Fuck.
Oh, shit!
What the fuck?
Hey! Hey, hey. Uh...
Did-did-did some... Did somebody die?
Somebody died. I saw just... just saw some hair
and-and some bones, a fuckin' skull.
Yeah, uh, quite a few people did.
And odds are they're not gonna be the last.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
This... This-this is a legit worldwide trillion-dollar fucking company.
They wouldn't do no sick shit like that, right?
They would do it if you said they could.
Look, all of that onboarding paperwork they had you sign, right?
Those non-disclosures, the fine print, the shit like that.
Hey, did you read any of that?
Yeah, of course you didn't. Nobody does.
Everybody gets so excited being welcomed by the great Mallard,
but it gives them permission to do just about anything they fucking want.
And everything has a cost.
Don't forget what they said.
You get out of it what you put into it.
So the sooner you settle into a rhythm,
the easier these days are gonna get.
Days.
Days, days, days, days.
What-what...?
How long do they plan on keeping us here?
As long as it fucking takes.
Just do your job.
What job?
Now you wanna fuckin' work, huh?
Good morning, Joe, I trust you slept well.
You know somethin'?
Where the fuck am I, huh?
What the fuck is this?
Joe, I need you to listen.
I don't wanna fuckin' listen! You know somethin'?
- Joe... - No, shut up!
Hey, fuck that! You listen!
I'm not supposed to be in this motherfucker!
I didn't do anything!
Only thing I ever done was go to fucking work
for 10 years straight.
Now, look at me!
I'm trapped in this shit!
Get me the fuck outta here!
Whoever's in charge, whoever got their hand in your ass,
tell them to let me the fuck out now!
Fuck!
I believe you're ready to listen.
Today begins your advanced career training seminar.
Your opportunity.
Your last quarter's productivity dropped while your use of personal time tripled.
Unlimited personal time is one of our many generous employment perks.
Unfortunately, during this period,
your department's overall performance declined.
When your performance drops, your department number lowers.
When your department numbers lower, your division output drops.
When your division output drops, the company performance declines,
as does the stock.
Don't undervalue yourself.
You're a crucial part of our team.
Joe, you were once the model employee,
but you've lost your appreciation for this company
and all it has given you.
I'm here to help.
Let's discuss your new job.
The workday begins at 6:00 a.m. and ends at 10:00 p.m.
The hours between are your own to do with as you like.
You work consists of pushing the mill.
Employees earn a single point for each full revolution.
Every day you are required to meet your specified goal,
your daily quota.
Failure to meet your daily quota will result in a punishment.
Your daily quota is 50.
Your quota is your minimum target.
But at Mallard, good enough isn't good enough.
Regardless of the quota, at the end of each day,
the employee with the fewest points will be terminated.
We understand.
We are not just a company.
We're a family.
We want you to keep your job, your salary,
your corporate housing, your company car, your life.
You're a crucial part of our mission.
That's why we've brought you here to help you grow.
We look forward to continuing our working relationship at Mallard,
your company for life.
Have a great day.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, listen.
Hey, I'm sorry. I'm s... I'm so sorry.
I didn't, I didn't mean to yell at first.
I... I gotta, I gotta get back home to my wife.
Please, please let me go back, please.
Please, I can't be here. I can't be here.
I can't be. Hey, hey, hey, hey.
- We gotta get outta here. - Stop.
Dude, help me get the fuck outta here.
- Dude, stop! - I need to get back to my wife.
The duck doesn't fucking care, okay?
It doesn't care if you've got a family back home.
We've all got families.
You are here now.
This is your fucking world. That is it.
And there is no getting out of it, not until they say you're ready.
So for now, man, you just simply need to survive.
And the only way to do that is to work.
Do you... Do you hear what I'm saying?
You wanna live, you wanna see whoever the fuck
you've got there on the other side ever again,
then just do the work.
Twenty-five seconds.
It's pushing that thing, right?
I have to push that thing, right?
Yeah, man, just push the fuckin' thing.
Shit.
Ten seconds.
Three seconds.
Two seconds.
One second.
Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.
Congratulations on your first revolution, Joe.
This message was brought to you by Mallard Spirits.
Our cutting-edge nano distillation process
ensures you can raise a toast of vitality and revel
in the spirit of wellness to celebrate life's victories like this one.
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Our off-guard formulations harness the potency of groundbreaking science
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Mallard Cosmetics transcends the conventional,
catapulting you into a realm of unsurpassed elegance and allure.
Experience the metamorphosis of beauty with Mallard Cosmetics
because you deserve nothing less than the zenith of perfection.
Mallard Crossings, an idyllic residential haven
where the essence of community
and the serenity of nature harmoniously intertwine.
Revel in the luxurious comfort of our bespoke abodes
where you'll discover not just a home
but an enclave of tranquility and enduring connections.
Congratulations, Joe, you surpassed your quota,
signifying an auspicious commencement
to your journey of self-actualization and professional evolution.
Fuck, yeah!
Embrace this momentum.
Become the employee you deserve to be.
No, wait. Wait.
No, no. No!
Tonight's termination is thoughtfully presented
by Mallard Meditation.
No, no.
Our innovative, mindfulness-focused mobile application
meticulously crafted to alleviate tension
and assuage anxiety during life's more challenging moments.
Wait. Wait, no! Let me go!
Discover tranquility in the midst of turmoil
with Mallard Meditation.
Oh, here we go.
Hey, you still there, neighbor?
Unfortunately.
So, how many did you get?
A hundred.
Wow.
A hundred?
Is that a "wow, good" or "wow, bad"?
Okay, let's just say
somebody else must've had a really bad day.
You know what I don't understand is,
so you don't make your quota, you get punished, right?
But if you do make your quota, you become last,
then you get killed.
So what's the point of the quota, huh?
Good enough isn't fucking good enough.
That's the Mallard way.
But I doubled my quota...
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Stop, no. God.
What, what, what?
You do not go telling people your quota, genius, okay?
'Cause as long as I do more than you, my ass is safe.
You and I, we might be neighbors, but we are not friends.
You get it? We are competition, and don't forget that.
First of all, I want you to hear me and hear me well.
I'm not dumb.
Right, sure you're not.
No, I got 50,000 in student debt that says I'm not.
Ooh, college man.
You don't even know, man.
I-I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth.
I worked my ass off to get to where I'm at, okay?
Mm-hmm.
All the way to the top of Mallard, huh?
They fed me the same bullshit when I started.
They shoved it down my fucking throat
with a big, fat signing bonus.
And that was more money than I'd ever seen at the time.
And look at us now.
We made it.
Cheers.
This shit is fucked up, man.
How the fuck did I get caught up in this bullshit?
I'm supposed to be at home with my wife.
You know, she's pregnant, you know?
With our first child.
We've been trying for a while, too,
and finally, finally, it's happening.
And I'm stuck in this crazy shit.
Boy or girl?
It's a boy.
Joe Junior.
We gon' call him JJ.
So, you're Joe?
Yeah.
Well, Joe, I'm gonna give you some real advice.
If you ever expect to meet your little boy,
you just gotta do this shit right.
The guy who was in that cell before you,
he thought he was doing enough,
and he was really smug about it, too.
And then the day before yesterday, enough wasn't enough.
And now you're there and he's gone.
Okay, and? Look, I'll just go harder.
Yeah, but no, if you go too hard,
they're gonna expect that all the time.
That's the whole game.
Have fun.
So?
I mean, what do you think?
Um, I mean, it's... big.
Hmm.
Do we really want all this?
Babe, Babe, Babe, look, hear me out.
I'm doing this for us.
Hmm.
This is everything we worked for.
You're lucky you cute when you're being convincing.
Well, we are at Mallard Crossing.
Ooh, ooh.
Wow.
Oh, tomorrow's the 12-week check-in.
You took the time off, right?
Yeah.
Joe, what?
We gotta prioritize, babe.
This isn't gonna get any easier.
- Oh. - Everything okay?
Something's wrong.
The time is now 10 o'clock.
Your work is complete for the day.
Thank you for your continued commitment
to self-improvement, Joe.
Employee.
Yeah?
Evening, employee.
Go ahead and approach the door.
Approach the door?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Um, hey, I-I-I-I made 1-150 today.
- I-I tripled my quota. - Good for you.
Approach the goddamn door.
Please, please, please, please. Uh...
I thought I, I thought I did everything right.
Approach the fucking door!
Now, stop.
Remove your clothes.
Take off your clothes.
Wh-why... Why you want me to do that?
Because I said so.
Seriously, why-why-why you need me to take off my...
Come on, take 'em off.
Okay, okay, okay.
Take 'em off.
Take 'em off.
Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no.
Everything.
Now, walk through the door.
Step forward.
Hey!
Whoa!
It's a scorcher today, man.
It's way hotter than last week.
Why are we doing this?
To not die?
No shit.
That's not what I'm talking about.
Like, what is this? What...
What's this fucking mill, huh?
It's nothing.
What do you mean it's nothing?
We're not grinding wheat or making electricity,
or creating anything of value,
tangible or perceived.
This has no purpose.
This is nothing.
Nothing?
So what's the point?
Exactly.
Fuck!
It's too damn hot, man.
I need... I need some more water.
Mallard, I need, I need some water.
Guard?
Guard, water!
Do you think that sick fuck is gonna fix you a cocktail?
- Come on. - Shut the fuck up.
Hey, please, I need something to drink.
I need some water.
I get it, I get it, I get it.
I-I got... I have a solution, okay?
There's a pillar over there that Mallard can't see behind.
Do you see it?
Yeah, I see it.
Okay, so, hide some bottles back there.
Fill 'em with your piss, and then you have to drink it.
You want me to drink
my piss?
Fuck, no, not straight.
You gotta filter it through the insoles of your shoes.
Are you fuckin' crazy?
I'm not pouring piss in my fucking Jordans.
Oh, Jesus.
Joe, Mallard is perfect.
It knows how much water
you need to survive, man, to the ounce.
She is gonna give you just enough to keep you alive.
This place, it has a way of showing you what you're capable of.
That's what Mallard wants, to know how far you can go
before you break.
Is that what Mallard wants?
That's what Mallard gon' get.
How do they, um,
how do they expect us to pay all these medical bills?
Hey, hey, don't worry about it.
I-I'll just work a lot harder.
I'll just work a lot harder.
You can't do this by yourself.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, you...
No, you're not going back to work.
You heard what the doctor said.
There's a chance you could lose the baby.
If I don't go back to work,
there's a chance we could lose the house.
Mallard's supposed to level me up any day now. Any day now.
They've been telling you the same thing for years,
and you still believe them?
Yes.
Yes.
The question is, do you still believe in me?
This child of ours is gonna have a better life
than any of us ever did.
Is this what better feels like?
Joe, today's performance serves as an exemplar
of your ever-ascending capabilities.
Hell, yeah.
Is that what you wanted?
By embracing the challenge of exploring your limits,
you are forging a path toward the promise of your innate potential,
perpetuating the cycle of growth and self-discovery.
Hey.
Hey, you-you there?
Hey. Who's Alex?
Who?
You heard me. Alex.
Who is that?
How do you know about Alex?
W... Was he the, was he the smug guy?
Was he, was he the guy that-that was here before me?
Yeah, um, Alex is a bit of a legend around here.
He's the guy who got out.
He escaped?
He got out.
So wait, wait, wait. He got out.
How is this place still operating?
He didn't tell anyone about this place?
I don't know.
Maybe he didn't want to.
Maybe he couldn't.
Bullshit.
I know if I left this motherfucker, I'd tell everybody.
Good morning, Joe.
Congratulations. You performed excellent work yesterday.
We thank you for your incredible efforts.
Please accept this token of our appreciation
to commemorate your amazing achievement.
Oh.
A pen.
Not just any pen, look closer.
Ohh!
Wow.
You guys
engraved, engraved my name in the pen.
Wow, this is...
I mean, this is, uh...
This is fuckin' stupid!
A fucking pen? What am I gonna do with this shit?
I don't even have any fuckin' paper around here.
Huh?
Fuck y'all, man, fuckin'...
370?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
This was just 50 yesterday.
Do you wish to file a complaint?
Look, I can't... I can't do that again.
People don't know what they're capable of.
They cling to their limiting beliefs,
never knowing that just beyond their doubts is greatness.
Like children, they just need a push.
Look, look, I can't do that many again.
You see me? Look at my fuckin' hands.
It's hard, Joe, but so is changing the world.
That's what we're doing, all of us together.
Now would be a great time to take the first step
towards an even better future.
Fuck you!
Fuck you, and fuck that fuckin' pen!
Fuck!
Hey, I-I...
I went past the green mark, and it...
It didn't, it didn't give me my point.
Are y'all fuckin' with me?
Huh?
Hey, man, what's the problem?
It's not giving me my points.
Oh, shit, dude, are you in penalty?
What?
Penalty. What-what's that?
The middle of the scoreboard.
Look. Is there a little X?
Yeah, it is.
Those are your penalties.
They're a bitch, and they're exponential.
Wait, wait, wait.
Penalty. How did I, how did I get a penalty?
Alright, look. One X means it takes two revolutions to score one point.
Two X's, it's four revolutions, and then eight, and then 16.
Then, well, shit, at that point, you might as well give up.
Hey.
Hey, that's impossible.
You expect me to do double the work?
Oh, fuck!
Human history is a story of chaos, war, disease, nations falling.
Do you really trust your hard-earned money to a failing government?
Introducing Mallard Financial,
a holistic AI-driven investment solution by the company you trust.
With Mallard Financial, you never have to worry
about human mistakes affecting your wealth.
Join the future.
Invest with Mallard Financial.
Let your investments fly.
Hey, Joe.
Everything okay in there, man?
You've been real quiet today.
I can't hit it.
Oh, come on, you have to.
We covered this.
I can't.
I can't.
I could do 370, but I can't.
Not-not with the penalty, you know.
Wait, penalty 3-370?
So you-you have... you have 740?
700 and fucking 40?
- 740? - How much?
Fuck, Joe, what the fuck is wrong with you, man?
You asshole.
You're gonna get us fucking killed!
Are you fucking kidding me?!
Told you, do not burn yourself out!
I told you, man, not to fuck with Mallard,
and you didn't fucking listen!
- Shut up. - Goddamn you!
- You didn't listen. - Shut up!
You fucking idiot.
You hit 740, and now we have to hit 740.
Don't you understand?
We're paying for your fucking mistakes!
Fuck you, Joe! Fuck you!
The time is now 10 o'clock.
Your work is complete for the day.
You did not meet your daily quota.
You gave me a penalty.
You gave it to yourself.
You let down your fellow employees.
Care for your fellow workers is one of our core company values.
Values.
Clearly, we haven't given you the proper motivation.
Perhaps you need a new coworker.
What is this?
Kate Stevens.
No. No, no. No, no, no, no, no, no.
No, she's... she's not even supposed to be on her feet.
Data collected from your Mallard home
indicates her lack of employment.
Perhaps we could solve all your problems
by offering her a job... here.
No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
She's... she's not supposed to be walking around.
Our Mallard team will gladly aid in her relocation.
Kate...
Not Kate.
She don't need to be here, okay?
She don't deserve this.
Hey, hey, I'll do better.
I'll do... I'll do better.
I'll-I'll-I'll do everything.
I-I-I'll get the 740.
I'll do whatever you need me to do. Just don't...
Please, just don't...
Don't-don't bring her here, please.
Please, please, please, please, please.
That's wonderful to hear.
Meet your quota tomorrow and the penalty will go away.
We are pleased to present you with an additional challenge
as a token of our appreciation
for your dedication to self-improvement.
We hope this challenge will serve as further motivation
for you to continue pushing yourself
towards achieving your goals.
Thank you for your commitment to self-improvement, Joe.
You gonna roast me?
Huh?
Fuck.
This evening's termination is graciously presented by Mallard Travel.
Escape the mundane and spread your wings
with our distinguished environment...
as we transport you to destinations beyond your wildest dreams.
Mallard Travel, elevating your journey to unparalleled heights.
Oh, shit.
Good morning, Joe.
Sleep well?
I've had better.
Remember until we are challenged,
we don't really know what we can achieve.
Take advantage of today's opportunity for growth.
Give it 110%.
Make this a productive day.
Mallard man, look at you now.
Hey, Joe.
Ooh.
You really, uh,
really outdid yourself this time.
Dusty, stankin', dirty-ass fucking jail.
Please, just, please, just, just, just go, okay?
I'm so close.
So you consider this close?
You, you think that you're close?
Just, just go, just please, please, please.
Let me finish. Just let me finish my work, please.
Ah, there you go, Joe.
Believing that bullshit, hmm?
Mm-hmm, your entire life, you've been telling yourself,
"Oh, you the man, Joe, and you can do it.
"You just gotta push yourself,
and they're gonna reward you someday."
The same bullshit.
Huh?
Has it worked for you?
Huh, Joe? Has it, has it ever worked for you?
Just keep going.
You fucked up.
You believed in something that didn't believe in you.
And now look at you.
You're fucked.
You should just quit.
Come on now. We know how this ends.
You can't win.
You won't win.
You won't fuckin' win!
You fucked Kate over, left her all alone
with a baby that you'll never fucking meet!
- Fuck you. Fuck you. - That's right.
Your son will grow up without a father.
- Not true. - Maybe it's a good thing.
- I'm gonna be a father to my son. - Just fuckin' stop.
I will be a father to my son.
Just fuckin' quit!
I will be a father to my son.
You won't win!
- Just quit! - Fuck you. Fuck you.
- Just fuckin' quit! - Fuck you, fuck you.
Just stop!
Fuck you!
Just fuckin' quit!
Just fuckin' quit!
Joe, in successfully accomplishing the designated quota,
you have effectively nullified the previously imposed penalty.
It is our fervent hope that, within the crucible of adversity,
you have unearthed newfound resilience.
That's right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah!
You won't break me.
Your improvement in productivity is remarkable.
You should have great pride in the work ethic you displayed today.
When do I go home?
You are well on your way.
All of us at Mallard believe in you.
Please accept a token of appreciation for today's hard work.
What, another fuckin' pen?
No.
Motivation.
My God.
Congratulations, Dad.
No, no.
I didn't...
How could I miss this?
How long have I been here?
This moment has been brought to you
by the friendly faces at Mallard Kids Wear.
From the moment you're born, Mallard is there.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no.
Turn it back on.
Can I, can I see 'em again?
Please?
I'm a dad.
Oh, man, I'm a dad.
Shit, man.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey!
Morning, neighbor.
I guess someone hit his quota.
Hey, man, fuck you!
Oh, boy.
Woke up on the wrong side of the dirt patch this morning, huh?
See, you think everything a fuckin' joke?
Okay, I'm serious.
I need that information on how Alex got outta here.
- Why? - Look, okay?
I'm not trying to be an asshole.
Last night, they showed a video
of my wife, Kate,
having our son.
If you know anything, please just let me know.
You know, I have a family, too.
I-I have a son,
and he would be, um...
Shit, I don't, I don't even know. Older?
I guess old enough to hate me.
But, uh, I got to hold my son when he was born.
I got to watch him take his first steps.
I heard him call me "dad."
That's the difference between you and me, Joe.
And I just wish I could see him again.
Actually, maybe I don't.
Maybe what I actually hope is that every day he wakes up
thinking about the father who chose work over him.
Maybe I hope he knows that I'm a fucking asshole,
and I hope he grows up hating me enough to be nothing like me.
And I don't want that for you, man.
So, fuck it.
On the opposite wall, in that blind spot behind the pillar,
you'll know it when you see it.
Thank you.
Good luck, man.
I don't fuckin' see anything.
Hmm.
Oh, shit.
Wait, wait, wait.
Wait a minute.
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Okay, see past the pillar.
That goddamn pen.
That motherfuckin' pen.
Oh, these cheap motherfuckers.
They didn't even patch this shit up.
...where the art of gourmet indulgence
and convivial ambience seamlessly intertwine.
Savor the symphony of exquisite flav...
meticulously forged each exquisite creation,
encapsulating the essence of luxury.
Tonight is the night.
What's the plan?
I don't... I don't know.
I didn't know I was gonna get this far.
I guess I'm just gonna have to see.
Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no.
Shit.
- Oh, shit. - Nighty night.
No.
No. No.
No.
Fuck!
No!
I thought you were growing, Joe.
But I can see that you still don't believe the rules apply to you.
You have so much promise,
and there's been a substantial investment made in you.
That's why we are offering you another opportunity
despite your behavior last night.
You are so focused on your own interests
that you are missing the big picture.
Perhaps you would respond to other incentives.
The fuck else can you do?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. The fuck is this?
Hey, hey. Hey!
Ow, fuck! Oh, God!
Oh, what the fuck?
Your accomplice has now been punished.
The quota for our entire workforce has been raised
to 1,000 revolutions per day.
Your workday will begin in five minutes.
A thousand?
Good luck.
Impossible!
Oh, no. No. Hey, hey, hey, hey.
You-you okay?
I can't stand, man!
They broke my fucking leg!
It's busted to shit! Motherfucker.
Oh, shit. Look, I'm sorry, man. I'm so sorry.
I can't do a fuckin' 1,000, man.
I can't even do one.
I can't fucking stand.
I'm so sorry, man. I didn't... I didn't mean to.
But you, but you, but you got to. You can do this, man.
You got, you have no choice.
I can't, man. It's fucking over!
There aren't fucking sick days here, man.
It's a zero-sum game. Trust me.
We aren't in charge in here.
The fucking algorithms are.
They make all the fucking decisions.
They built this place. They run the whole fucking system.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
We-we're controlled by a computer?
Oh, my God.
You wanna know the best part, Joe?
What?
I helped them build it.
I was in IT.
They wanted us to get the fucking numbers up,
so we built the algorithm.
It was a language and reasoning model
like no one had ever seen before.
It was the kind of shit that nobody outside of Mallard
would even believe could exist.
And-and then guess what?
Our algorithm, it built its own algorithm,
which then built its own algorithm.
And we don't even know how it fucking works anymore.
But it got me promoted, so, yay.
Then I started to wonder if that shit running
the world's most powerful multinational corporation
was such a good idea.
I guess, I-I shouldn't have wondered that out loud.
You can't reason with an equation, man.
It's just an algorithm.
It's just a computer.
Wait a minute.
A computer has to follow... the rules.
What the fuck are you talking about?
Look, this-this could be a long shot, but,
if we don't work, right,
and a computer goes exactly by the rules,
like none of us work,
that means zero points for anybody on the scoreboard.
No-nobody dies, right?
Uh, I mean, yeah.
I guess in, in theory, if there's not a low man,
it could, I guess, exploit a vulnerability
in the programming language or something, but... but what...
Wait, what if that doesn't work?
What do we have to lose?
You have two minutes before your workday begins.
Okay. Okay. Hey.
Shut the fuck up, Joe.
Just-just hear me out real quick, okay?
Look, what they have us doing,
it's no end game to it.
There is no way we can beat this shit
by the system they got us working for.
Shut the fuck up.
Pushing this big fuckin' stone, wooden...
I don't even know what the fuck this is...
Shut the fuck up!
Around for hours and hours of the day,
basically killing us one by one!
We're being controlled by a fuckin' machine!
- Fuck the duck. - Yeah! Fuck the duck!
We are people!
We're more than just numbers.
We're flesh and fuckin' blood.
And we could take this motherfucker out,
but we all gotta stick together, okay?
You have one minute before your workday begins.
If we don't work,
we won't die!
Yeah!
Do you hear me? If we don't work, we won't die!
We won't die!
We don't fuckin' work!
We don't die!
We don't fuckin' work!
We don't fuckin' work!
We don't fuckin' work!
We don't fuckin' work!
We don't fuckin' work!
We don't fuckin' work!
Fuck the duck!
We don't fuckin' work!
We're not fuckin' working!
We're not fuckin' working!
We don't fuckin' work!
We don't fuckin' work!
We don't fuckin' work!
We don't fuckin' work!
- We don't fuckin' work! - We don't fuckin' work.
We don't fuckin' work!
We don't fuckin' work!
We don't fuckin'...
Life is unpredictable,
but your family's future doesn't have to be.
Trust Mallard Life Insurance to provide reliable coverage
tailored to your needs.
Our team is here to guide you every step of the way.
We look forward to providing you with comprehensive coverage
and peace of mind for when you're no longer there.
Hey, Joe, you fuckin' asshole.
It worked.
I got out-engineered by a middle manager.
Joe, I'm afraid your understanding
of the rules is flawed.
To clarify, any employee who records zero revolutions
will face immediate termination.
I'm not dying for you.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, who did that?
Hey.
Hey, stop it.
I'm not dying for you.
No, no, no, it's not about me, huh?
We-we gotta stick together.
Stop! Please, don't do this.
Don't let them win!
We... we won't die, okay?
They can't win if we stick together!
What the fuck is wrong with y'all?
Stop!
Fuck!
We gotta stick together!
Stop it.
Stop it!
Stop it!
Stop!
Joe.
Come here.
Stop it. Stop. Stop, y'all.
Come on. Stop working.
You know what you have to do.
We agreed. Come on.
No.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
No, I can't do it. I can't do it, man.
- Joe. - I-I-I can't.
- I can't. - Joe, man, it's alright.
You tried. You...
You did good.
You're a good man.
JJ is a lucky kid.
You're gonna be such a good dad, Joe.
Now, do what you need to do and get the fuck out of here
so you can meet your son.
I'm sorry, man.
Hey.
Have you ever noticed how beautiful this sky is at night?
Uh...
I had never noticed it before.
I could have been looking up this whole fuckin' time.
I'm gonna die a cliché, Joe.
No, you won't.
This is gon' baffle me forever,
so you gotta answer this question.
What is your name?
Uh... nope. Mm-mm.
Remember the rules?
- I don't do names. - Enough of that bullshit.
Look, I know you don't do names, but, come on.
You-you gotta tell me.
Alex.
Nah.
Alex, the name engraved...
You're, you're the Alex?
Yep.
Surprise!
Man, wh...
Why-why you ain't tell nobody?
I told you, man, I couldn't.
I got out of my cell.
I thought I was in the clear,
and then I just got tossed right back in, just like you.
I thought maybe with you that, I don't know,
it would be different.
I thought that I was just unlucky,
but turns out maybe we're all fucked, right?
There's no escape.
This is just some kinda loop, an eternal recurrence,
a return to the very worst moment of your life
over and over and over again.
The only regret I have is
that I never figured out a way to burn this place down.
You should get some sleep, man.
You've gotta get back to it tomorrow.
Farewell, my friend.
Alright, fuckers, just get me the fuck outta here already.
Come on, you cancerous fucks, give me your best shot.
Fuck you!
Oh! Oh! Oh, f...
Fucking assholes!
Fuck Mallard!
Oh!
Shit! Ohh!
Oh, my God.
Ow, shit!
Ow, fuck!
This evening's termination is brought to you by Mallard Trust,
where your aspirations transcend the boundaries of time,
safeguarding prosperity for the future.
Good morning, Joe.
We understand that this is a challenging time for you.
We want to offer our support by providing
a token of our commitment to your growth and development.
We hope that this gesture will serve as a reminder
to stay focused on your goals.
No, I couldn't be here that long.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Fuck you!
Fuck you!
You don't seem to appreciate our gift.
Fuck you! You took everything from me!
You took everything from me! Fuck you!
This behavior is unacceptable.
I've done so much for this fuckin' company.
I sacrificed so much, and you took everything from me!
Everything!
Fuck this!
Damage to company property will result in immediate termination.
I don't give a fuck no more!
You are leaving us no option.
What the fuck you gonna do?
You're a productive worker, Joe,
but you no longer fit our corporate culture.
We regret to inform you your services are no longer required.
Your employment will now be terminated.
Good!
Do it!
Good luck, Joe.
Hey.
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, um...
Hey, hey, hey.
Who...?
What's going on, huh?
Can somebody tell me what-what's-what's going on?
Hey, anybody?
Come on, come on. Talk to me. Come...
What's going on?
Please tell me what the fuck is happenin'.
Why am I fuckin' here?
Huh?
Somebody say... somebody talk to me, please.
Talk-talk to me. Talk to me, please. What's going on?
Please talk to me. Talk... Somebody...
Why the fuck y'all not talking back?
What's going on?
Huh?
Who the fuck runs this shit, huh?
Who's controlling the fuckin' computer, huh?
Who's controlling the duck?
Talk to me!
What the fuck is going on?
Huh?
Hiya, Joe.
Happy Mallard morning.
I love my job.
Every goddamn part.
But there is nothing,
nothing I love more than a termination.
You meet the team?
Human resources.
Twelve witnesses to each termination.
Everything's documented.
After all, we're a publicly traded company,
and everyone is part of the Mallard family.
Now what is it with you management types?
I mean, Mallard has given you the whole world,
but you still want more.
And, you know,
I have my annual review coming up.
Maybe Mallard will level me up.
They might even move me to Mallard Crossings.
I hear there'll be a vacancy soon.
Yeah, 1431 Parkway Drive.
Wonderful family lives there,
little boy,
single mom.
Yeah.
She's a real piece of ass.
Shit, maybe she'll even stay.
Shut the fuck up! Fucking...
Stay the fuck away from my family.
Joe, the guard has failed his task.
Fuck...
The penalty for which is immediate termination.
In exchange for completing this assignment,
your termination order will be revoked,
and you'll be promoted to level nine.
Then, you will find your purpose.
Come on, Joe.
Do it.
Do it, Joe.
Do it.
Do it.
- Do it, Joe. - Joe.
Do it.
Joe.
Joe.
Mm-mm.
I'm not a monster.
I'm not a monster.
I'm not a fuckin' monster!
You are!
I'm not a monster!
And you're not gonna make me one.
You're all monsters!
Every last one of y'all!
You know somethin'?
I'm glad y'all are here.
I'm glad you're fuckin' here
'cause I want you to hear me and hear me clearly.
I... fuckin'... quit!
Hiya, Joe.
Johnny, your HR partner.
You've just experienced our advanced career training simulation.
It's okay.
The tech can leave you a little foggy.
It'll come back. I just came out myself.
Oh, nice.
Sorry, I missed lunch.
What am I thinking? You missed lunch, too.
You want some of these chips, bro?
You volunteered for our lunchtime improvement program.
You give us 60 minutes, come back refreshed and ready
with a new appreciation for your work at Mallard.
I know it feels like you were in there for months.
Feels that way to me, too, believe me,
but, uh, it was only an hour.
It was all manufactured, the space, the passage of time,
like a video game.
For example, your son, he hasn't even been born yet.
And obviously, you didn't smash my face in, right?
Yes, you were struggling to break through the ranks
of middle management, stuck at level eight.
But watching you in there, Mallard realized something.
You weren't struggling 'cause you weren't good enough.
You're too good, you know. Slow it down.
No, you just weren't being challenged,
so... we threw some challenges your way.
And look at this.
Boom, your productivity spiked.
Your leadership was off the charts,
uh, creativity, ingenuity, that little coup you staged.
That's big stuff.
I mean, you showed a willingness to fight.
You're an outside-the-box thinker, Joe.
Leadership material.
Oh, and I know I said that Mallard was watching you the whole time.
It's more like,
Mallard was inside your head.
Oh! Noon o'clock.
Time to check out your new office.
Come on, buddy.
The Mallard corporate ranks are endless.
Most days, it feels like you could keep climbing forever.
Now, this is us, floor 66, management.
Probably never been this high before, huh?
It's a lot to take in.
Yeah.
Somehow the-the air is,
I don't know, different up here.
It's... better, you know?
I know how it feels.
You give years to Mallard,
start having dreams at night you're still at work.
Stock goes up, company gets bigger, and you start to wonder,
"Does anyone here even know I'm alive?"
Well, I do.
Mallard does, and now you're being rewarded.
Come on, this way.
Hey, Mallard.
Yes, Johnny?
Look who's here.
Welcome to upper management, Joe.
We look forward to your continued improvement.
Have a great day.
Isn't she the best?
You no longer fit our corporate culture.
- Good luck, Joe. - Fuck you!
Welcome to your new home.
We found this in your data and loaded it up.
Thought we'd make your home screen feel like home.
Your tablet is loaded up with training videos.
You have till 7:00 p.m. to watch your quota of 10 videos.
Cafeteria's open if you need to stay late.
Mallard makes a hell of a bologna.
I'll be sending over your perk package, housing upgrade,
vehicle upgrade, bonus structure.
Oh, and one more thing.
Your standard NDA.
Discussing the nature of Mallard's proprietary career training
will lead to an immediate termination.
Can't tell your coworkers, superiors,
underlings, mom, wife, priest, nobody.
We wouldn't wanna undermine the effectiveness of the simulation.
Understood?
What am I saying? Of course, you understand.
You're a Mallard man.
Sign right here.
Do it, Joe.
Took everything!
Congratulations, Joe.
Mallard truly is your company
for life.
Mallard,
call Kate.
Calling Kate Stevens.
A midday call?
Who died?
Joe?
Baby, are you there?
Um...
Babe.
Yeah, I'm here.
I-I just, um...
First of all, I just wanted to hear your voice.
And, um,
call you and tell you I love you.
Ten years you've been at this job,
and you have never called me during work.
I just, um...
I don't know.
I just miss you.
I've, uh, had a... I've had a very, um,
long and interesting day.
Oh, hold on, hold on.
Oh, my goodness, JJ's kicking.
He recognizes your voice.
Oh, that's so sweet.
Look, um, I'll be home late tonight.
I'm working a little late, okay?
Again?
This time it's-it's...
This time it's different.
Joe.
Can you, can you do me a favor and-and, um,
put the, put the phone to your belly?
Hey, JJ.
Can't wait to meet you.
All right, baby, I'll call you... I-I'll see you later.
I-I'll be home later, okay?
Okay. I love you.
Love you.
I will be a father to my son.
I will be a father to my son.
I will be a father to my son.
...your company for life.
I'm gonna burn
this motherfucker down.
We hope your journey through tonight's feature presentation
has been both enjoyable and enlightening.
We trust you were stirred to evaluate and conquer your personal quotas
today, tomorrow, and into the future.
Mallard, your company for life.
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