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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:25,150 --> 00:00:27,902 Ooh 2 00:00:27,986 --> 00:00:29,487 Ba-doo-doo-doo 3 00:00:33,283 --> 00:00:35,410 If you were a wise man 4 00:00:35,493 --> 00:00:37,120 Baby, you would drop 5 00:00:37,203 --> 00:00:39,414 Every other ho ho ho 6 00:00:39,497 --> 00:00:41,041 And put me on top 7 00:00:41,624 --> 00:00:43,126 Up there on your tree 8 00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:45,628 You better treat me like a star 9 00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:47,797 Spend your cookie dough, dough, dough 10 00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:49,174 Spend it on my heart 11 00:00:49,257 --> 00:00:50,550 Skip the jet 12 00:00:51,342 --> 00:00:52,969 Send a sleigh 13 00:00:53,511 --> 00:00:55,472 It's a packed holiday 14 00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:57,599 And I got options, babe 15 00:00:57,682 --> 00:01:02,020 If you don't wanna buy me presents 16 00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:05,940 Drink me like a warm glass of milk 17 00:01:06,024 --> 00:01:09,778 If you're not gonna race here 18 00:01:09,861 --> 00:01:14,074 From the North Pole to Beverly Hills 19 00:01:14,157 --> 00:01:18,161 Just to keep my stocking filled 20 00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:21,915 Well, I know somebody who will 21 00:01:21,998 --> 00:01:23,708 Somebody who will 22 00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:26,169 Somebody who will 23 00:01:26,252 --> 00:01:28,171 Somebody who will 24 00:01:28,254 --> 00:01:29,464 Buy me presents, baby 25 00:01:29,547 --> 00:01:31,841 He's a little bit older 26 00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:33,760 Got a bit of a dad bod 27 00:01:33,843 --> 00:01:36,179 From a city that's colder 28 00:01:36,262 --> 00:01:37,931 But damn it, he's so hot 29 00:01:38,014 --> 00:01:40,058 He knows when I'm sleeping 30 00:01:40,558 --> 00:01:42,602 And he knows when I'm not 31 00:01:42,685 --> 00:01:46,439 I haven't, like, seen him in a while He's probably just busy at his workshop 32 00:01:46,523 --> 00:01:47,357 Skip the jet 33 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:49,901 - Send a sleigh - Send a sleigh 34 00:01:49,984 --> 00:01:51,945 It's a packed holiday 35 00:01:52,028 --> 00:01:54,572 And I got options, babe 36 00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:58,326 If you don't wanna buy me presents 37 00:01:58,409 --> 00:02:02,205 Drink me like a warm glass of milk 38 00:02:02,288 --> 00:02:06,126 If you're not gonna race here 39 00:02:06,209 --> 00:02:10,588 From the North Pole to Beverly Hills 40 00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:14,551 Just to keep my stocking filled 41 00:02:15,385 --> 00:02:18,429 Well, I know somebody who will 42 00:02:18,513 --> 00:02:19,973 Somebody who will 43 00:02:20,056 --> 00:02:22,016 Somebody who will 44 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,310 Somebody who will 45 00:02:24,394 --> 00:02:26,312 Buy me presents, baby 46 00:02:40,243 --> 00:02:41,452 Come on, everyone! 47 00:02:41,953 --> 00:02:46,666 If you don't wanna buy me presents 48 00:02:46,749 --> 00:02:50,253 Drink me like a warm glass of milk 49 00:02:50,336 --> 00:02:54,048 If you're not gonna race here 50 00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:58,386 From the North Pole to Beverly Hills 51 00:02:58,469 --> 00:03:02,182 Just to keep my stocking filled 52 00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:06,561 Well, I know somebody who will 53 00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:19,240 Welcome to A Nonsense Christmas. 54 00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:20,909 You could've been anywhere tonight, 55 00:03:20,992 --> 00:03:23,912 spending time with family, helping the less fortunate, 56 00:03:23,995 --> 00:03:27,498 but instead, you're here, half watching a big screen 57 00:03:27,582 --> 00:03:30,043 while scrolling social media on a smaller screen, 58 00:03:30,126 --> 00:03:32,378 and for that, I'm forever grateful. 59 00:03:33,087 --> 00:03:35,131 This special isn't just about Christmas though. 60 00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:37,383 We're celebrating all the holidays. 61 00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:41,137 So, happy Hanukkah, happy Kwanzaa, 62 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,889 and happy birthday, Natalie. 63 00:03:43,389 --> 00:03:47,060 There's gotta be at least one person named Natalie whose birthday is today, right? 64 00:03:47,143 --> 00:03:48,728 Well, either way, strap on 65 00:03:48,811 --> 00:03:52,065 because tonight, I'm in the mood for a little nonsense. 66 00:03:55,944 --> 00:04:00,823 It's the most nonsense time Of the year 67 00:04:02,575 --> 00:04:05,787 They gave me a special They said it would test well 68 00:04:05,870 --> 00:04:08,623 As if I had fear 69 00:04:08,706 --> 00:04:14,128 It's the most nonsense time Of the year 70 00:04:15,129 --> 00:04:20,093 It's the ho ho ho-iest special of all 71 00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:23,304 The champagne is bubbling 72 00:04:23,388 --> 00:04:25,181 Entendres are doubling 73 00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:27,809 When I deck your halls 74 00:04:27,892 --> 00:04:34,232 It's the ho ho ho-iest special of all 75 00:04:34,315 --> 00:04:38,027 There'll be songs all crescendoing Hot innuendoing 76 00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:40,780 Dancers who flex and keep time 77 00:04:40,863 --> 00:04:42,740 There'll be wit for the smarties 78 00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:47,620 And you know the best part is It's all on Netflix's dime 79 00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:52,250 No, seriously, they told me I could have an unlimited budget as long as I go viral, 80 00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:55,003 so I'm gonna break the set just to do it. 81 00:04:56,170 --> 00:04:57,213 My leg! 82 00:04:57,964 --> 00:04:59,215 He'll be fine. 83 00:04:59,882 --> 00:05:05,346 It's the most nonsense time Of the year 84 00:05:06,347 --> 00:05:08,141 If you're hot and you're young 85 00:05:08,224 --> 00:05:09,934 And your stocking's well hung 86 00:05:10,018 --> 00:05:12,603 By the chimney with care 87 00:05:12,687 --> 00:05:19,027 It's the most nonsense time Of the year 88 00:05:19,110 --> 00:05:22,655 There'll be singing and jesting Celebrity guesting 89 00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:25,408 Huge packages under the tree 90 00:05:25,491 --> 00:05:28,995 I'll be playing my bangers With elf doppelgängers 91 00:05:29,078 --> 00:05:32,915 So please, please, please Have faith in me 92 00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:36,669 There are comedy specials, and there are music specials, 93 00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:38,171 and there are holiday specials. 94 00:05:38,254 --> 00:05:41,424 But who does musical comedy holiday specials? 95 00:05:42,091 --> 00:05:43,343 A lot of people. 96 00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:45,803 But do those specials have celebrity guests? 97 00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:47,221 Yes, they do! 98 00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:50,808 Everyone with a musical comedy holiday special does them with celebrity guests, 99 00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:52,977 and this is one of those. 100 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:57,690 There'll be divas so stunning And seasonal punning 101 00:05:57,774 --> 00:06:00,693 And costumes in red and in green 102 00:06:00,777 --> 00:06:04,238 You can watch with your aunties I might mention panties 103 00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:08,117 But don't fret, its TV-14 104 00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:11,120 Which means I'm allowed to say "fuck" three times. 105 00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:12,663 Fuck. 106 00:06:12,747 --> 00:06:14,415 Just one left. 107 00:06:15,291 --> 00:06:16,209 Anyways… 108 00:06:17,585 --> 00:06:19,504 Here we are. 109 00:06:19,587 --> 00:06:21,422 We've arrived at my set. Isn't this cute? 110 00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:24,550 It's exactly what my house looked like growing up. 111 00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:28,971 A tree, three walls, and a live studio audience. 112 00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:36,396 It's the most nonsense time Of the year 113 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:39,440 Well, I've learned all my blocking 114 00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:43,653 So please stuff my stocking With holiday cheer 115 00:06:43,736 --> 00:06:47,031 It's the most nonsense time 116 00:06:47,115 --> 00:06:50,368 Yes, the most nonsense time 117 00:06:50,451 --> 00:06:54,747 What's a third really good rhyme? 118 00:06:54,831 --> 00:06:58,543 Of the year 119 00:06:59,335 --> 00:07:02,380 You're in luck. I've trimmed my tree just for you. 120 00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:04,715 Let's start the show. 121 00:07:29,740 --> 00:07:31,075 Happy holidays. 122 00:07:33,369 --> 00:07:35,455 What if it's like, "Happy holiday…" 123 00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:37,331 No, I'm not British. Okay. 124 00:07:38,624 --> 00:07:40,460 Maybe drier. 125 00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:42,462 Happy holidays. 126 00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:43,754 All right, stand by! 127 00:07:43,838 --> 00:07:45,882 Like, happy holidays. 128 00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:47,383 That's, like, a bit too sultry. 129 00:07:49,802 --> 00:07:52,054 We are rolling. We are rolling. Quiet, please. 130 00:08:03,399 --> 00:08:04,442 I'm not gonna say it. 131 00:08:08,112 --> 00:08:09,155 Okay! 132 00:08:09,238 --> 00:08:10,198 Oh my God. 133 00:08:11,449 --> 00:08:12,450 Guys, it's frozen. 134 00:08:13,743 --> 00:08:15,870 Oh, it's not frozen. Action. 135 00:08:15,953 --> 00:08:17,205 Ooh! 136 00:08:17,288 --> 00:08:18,623 Little beans. 137 00:08:18,706 --> 00:08:19,832 So cute! 138 00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:20,791 Mwah! 139 00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:23,211 Want a drink? 140 00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:26,214 Oh wow. Thank God we installed that seasonal doorbell. 141 00:08:30,092 --> 00:08:32,720 It's Tyla, everybody! 142 00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:50,404 Hang all the mistletoe 143 00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:54,325 I'm gonna get to know you better 144 00:08:55,993 --> 00:08:57,787 This Christmas 145 00:08:57,870 --> 00:09:00,581 And as we trim the tree 146 00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:05,586 How much fun it's gonna be together 147 00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:07,922 This Christmas 148 00:09:08,005 --> 00:09:12,927 Fireside is blazing bright 149 00:09:13,010 --> 00:09:17,431 We're caroling through the night 150 00:09:17,515 --> 00:09:21,936 And this Christmas will be 151 00:09:22,019 --> 00:09:28,442 A very special Christmas for me 152 00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:35,324 Tell 'em, Tyla. 153 00:09:38,536 --> 00:09:41,330 Presents and cards are here 154 00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:46,252 My world is filled with cheer and you 155 00:09:46,335 --> 00:09:48,004 This Christmas 156 00:09:48,087 --> 00:09:51,048 And as I look around 157 00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:53,301 Your eyes outshine the town 158 00:09:53,384 --> 00:09:56,721 They do 159 00:09:56,804 --> 00:09:58,264 This Christmas 160 00:09:58,347 --> 00:10:02,935 Fireside is blazing bright 161 00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:07,857 And we're caroling through the night 162 00:10:07,940 --> 00:10:12,278 And this Christmas will be 163 00:10:12,361 --> 00:10:18,951 A very special Christmas for me 164 00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:24,999 Shake a hand, shake a hand now 165 00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:28,085 Come on, everybody. Let's dance. 166 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:33,174 You all better be standing wherever you guys are watching this. 167 00:10:33,257 --> 00:10:36,135 If you're in your living rooms, come on, dance with us. 168 00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:39,597 Shake it, shake it, shake it 169 00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:41,849 Merry Christmas to your brothers. 170 00:10:42,725 --> 00:10:43,768 To your sisters. 171 00:10:43,851 --> 00:10:45,227 To your mister. 172 00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:46,520 To your cousins. 173 00:10:46,604 --> 00:10:48,230 To your dogs? What? 174 00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:53,694 Fireside is blazing bright 175 00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:58,366 We're caroling through the night 176 00:10:58,449 --> 00:11:02,578 And this Christmas will be 177 00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:05,915 A very special Christmas 178 00:11:05,998 --> 00:11:09,960 For me 179 00:11:12,088 --> 00:11:15,049 Shake a hand, shake a hand now 180 00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:23,224 Hey, hey, come on 181 00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:30,731 Let's party, everybody. 182 00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:33,234 Merry Christmas to everyone back home. 183 00:11:33,734 --> 00:11:35,569 Merry Christmas, Sabrina. 184 00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:37,905 - Merry Christmas, Tyla. - Yes. 185 00:11:45,329 --> 00:11:47,164 My feathers are all over this place. 186 00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:54,296 Cut, and we cut, and we cut. 187 00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:00,845 Starting from when I was two years old, 188 00:12:00,928 --> 00:12:02,972 my dad would get his VHS 189 00:12:03,055 --> 00:12:05,891 and film our Christmas morning every single year. 190 00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:10,312 And for some reason, I never wanted to open my presents. 191 00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:12,106 I just wanted chocolate cake. 192 00:12:12,690 --> 00:12:14,191 - Oh my gosh! - Dad. 193 00:12:14,275 --> 00:12:18,612 When we're done opening our presents, can we have a piece of cake? 194 00:12:18,696 --> 00:12:20,364 Is that all you think about? 195 00:12:21,031 --> 00:12:24,368 I just had an ulterior motive, and it was chocolate. 196 00:12:25,619 --> 00:12:27,037 And it kinda still is. 197 00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:31,041 So… …there's the story. 198 00:12:43,262 --> 00:12:46,015 Santa 199 00:12:46,515 --> 00:12:50,102 Doesn't know you like I do 200 00:12:51,312 --> 00:12:54,231 I've been there Through the good and bad 201 00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:56,650 Know how to make you laugh 202 00:12:56,734 --> 00:12:58,861 Kiss all your tears away, babe 203 00:12:58,944 --> 00:13:02,198 Only I can do that 204 00:13:02,740 --> 00:13:05,034 Why don't you just come over? 205 00:13:05,117 --> 00:13:07,328 You've been acting so cold 206 00:13:07,411 --> 00:13:09,663 No, I don't want nothing crazy 207 00:13:09,747 --> 00:13:12,041 Just wanna get you alone 208 00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:14,627 And all of this snow is falling 209 00:13:14,710 --> 00:13:16,837 I can make you fall too 210 00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:19,215 So tell me what's on your wish list 211 00:13:19,298 --> 00:13:21,759 I wanna make it come true 212 00:13:21,842 --> 00:13:24,136 Santa 213 00:13:24,887 --> 00:13:27,723 Doesn't know you like I do 214 00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:32,728 I've been there Through the good and bad 215 00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:35,105 Know how to make you laugh 216 00:13:35,189 --> 00:13:37,399 Kiss all your tears away, babe 217 00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:40,986 Only I can do that 218 00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:43,072 Santa 219 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:48,035 Doesn't know you like I do 220 00:13:48,911 --> 00:13:51,831 I know all of your favorite songs 221 00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:53,874 Pick up each time you call 222 00:13:53,958 --> 00:13:57,545 So why can't I be the one 223 00:13:57,628 --> 00:14:00,923 To give you everything you want? 224 00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:11,809 I 225 00:14:11,892 --> 00:14:14,770 Want you to tell me That you feel the same way 226 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,480 I 227 00:14:16,564 --> 00:14:19,108 Don't think I'm gonna make it Through the winter 228 00:14:19,191 --> 00:14:21,318 Well, don't you wanna wrap me up 229 00:14:21,402 --> 00:14:24,113 And mistle-touch under the tree? 230 00:14:24,196 --> 00:14:28,450 He won't bring you somebody That loves you more than me 231 00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:31,537 - No - Santa 232 00:14:31,620 --> 00:14:36,792 - He doesn't know you like I do - Doesn't know you like I do 233 00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:40,004 I've been there Through the good and bad 234 00:14:40,087 --> 00:14:42,214 Know how to make you laugh 235 00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:44,550 Kiss all your tears away, babe 236 00:14:44,633 --> 00:14:47,887 Only I can do that 237 00:14:48,512 --> 00:14:50,180 Santa 238 00:14:51,265 --> 00:14:55,978 - Doesn't know you like I do - Doesn't know you like I do 239 00:14:56,061 --> 00:14:58,939 I know all of your favorite songs 240 00:14:59,023 --> 00:15:01,317 Pick up each time you call 241 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:04,612 So why can't I be the one 242 00:15:04,695 --> 00:15:07,448 To give you everything you want? 243 00:15:07,531 --> 00:15:09,658 Santa 244 00:15:10,451 --> 00:15:13,746 Doesn't know you like I do 245 00:15:15,539 --> 00:15:18,250 Well, maybe this Christmastime 246 00:15:18,334 --> 00:15:20,586 You'll finally realize 247 00:15:20,669 --> 00:15:23,839 That I could be the one 248 00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:28,385 To give you everything you want 249 00:15:41,231 --> 00:15:43,359 I'm working late 250 00:15:43,442 --> 00:15:45,235 Because I'm Santa 251 00:15:47,112 --> 00:15:49,114 Sabrina, can I pitch you a "Nonsense" outro? 252 00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:58,666 Girl, this season's Got me feeling feral 253 00:15:58,749 --> 00:16:01,794 Gotta love a dirty Christmas carol 254 00:16:01,877 --> 00:16:05,255 I love it when I don my gay apparel 255 00:16:06,340 --> 00:16:09,301 - If, like, this was gay, this was gayer. - Right. 256 00:16:09,385 --> 00:16:10,427 - Do you love that? - Yeah-- 257 00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:12,513 - I'd use it if I were you. - Owen, I gotta go to set. 258 00:16:12,596 --> 00:16:14,640 - No worries. - Don't sing at me again. 259 00:16:14,723 --> 00:16:15,683 Have a good day. 260 00:16:19,019 --> 00:16:22,022 Debbie, I cannot wait to finally get to meet your man. 261 00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:25,609 You've been a bad friend ever since getting into a relationship. I'm kidding! 262 00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:29,488 No, I know. It's like since we're long distance, 263 00:16:29,571 --> 00:16:32,241 it's just been so hard to combine the friend groups, you know? 264 00:16:32,324 --> 00:16:34,326 - Well, I promise we will love him. - Aw. 265 00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:37,246 Oh, speak of the devil! He's walking up, guys. 266 00:16:38,747 --> 00:16:41,500 - So fun. - Ho ho ho ho ho! 267 00:16:41,583 --> 00:16:45,462 Oh ho ho! There's my nice girl! 268 00:16:45,546 --> 00:16:47,548 Come on over. 269 00:16:47,631 --> 00:16:48,799 Oh my. 270 00:16:48,882 --> 00:16:52,386 Oh! You guys, everyone, this is my boyfriend, Nick. 271 00:16:52,469 --> 00:16:56,181 Well, it is great to meet you. I've heard nothing but great things. 272 00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:58,767 Aw. Same, um, as us. 273 00:16:58,851 --> 00:16:59,768 Yeah. Uh… 274 00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:01,812 Uh, can I get you anything? 275 00:17:01,895 --> 00:17:04,773 Oh, I don't know. Maybe a warm glass of milk. 276 00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:06,358 Yuck. 277 00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:09,111 Ooh, and an oversized chocolate-chip cookie 278 00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:12,531 dusted lightly with candy cane shards, if you've got it. 279 00:17:12,614 --> 00:17:15,784 Oh bummer. I think we're out of shards. 280 00:17:17,286 --> 00:17:19,163 I'm sorry, are people saying "sharts"? 281 00:17:19,246 --> 00:17:21,081 - "Shards." - Oh, look at that. 282 00:17:21,165 --> 00:17:24,543 - My clothes are all covered in soot. - Oh no! Oh no! 283 00:17:24,626 --> 00:17:26,128 - I'll be right back. - Okay. 284 00:17:27,546 --> 00:17:31,717 Hey. This is actually insane, but, um, that's Santa Claus, right? 285 00:17:32,593 --> 00:17:33,594 Oh my God. 286 00:17:34,219 --> 00:17:36,555 What kind of a messed-up thing is that to say? 287 00:17:36,638 --> 00:17:37,514 What? 288 00:17:37,598 --> 00:17:39,391 Debbie, it's not messed up. Hello. 289 00:17:39,475 --> 00:17:41,643 Come on. The big, white, scruffy beard. 290 00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:43,812 So? He did "No-Shave November." 291 00:17:44,396 --> 00:17:46,648 - He has the classic big belly. - Yeah. 292 00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:50,277 And there it is. The body shaming. Wow. Wow. 293 00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:52,738 What is this, Mean Girls the movie? The musical? 294 00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:54,782 Okay, chill out. 295 00:17:54,865 --> 00:17:56,700 He's jolly. He's sweet. 296 00:17:56,784 --> 00:17:58,077 He's not Santa. 297 00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:00,370 Okay, we'll drop it. He's not Santa. 298 00:18:00,454 --> 00:18:02,039 - No one's Santa, I guess. - Yeah. 299 00:18:02,122 --> 00:18:04,124 - And he's back! - Oh, hey. 300 00:18:05,667 --> 00:18:07,795 I forgot the presents. They're in the car. 301 00:18:08,587 --> 00:18:11,256 - Oh, that's so sweet of you, Nick. - So nice. 302 00:18:11,799 --> 00:18:15,302 So what does he do for a living that he can buy us all gifts? 303 00:18:15,385 --> 00:18:17,429 He told me, but I zoned out because it was boring. 304 00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:20,557 I think he's, like, a toy manufacturer or something. 305 00:18:20,641 --> 00:18:24,228 Uh, Deb, that's what Santa does. 306 00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:26,730 No, because it doesn't pay. 307 00:18:26,814 --> 00:18:28,857 What? Why doesn't it pay? 308 00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:31,527 Yeah. He doesn't make money or have any credit cards. So? 309 00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:33,278 - That's creepy. - That's weird. 310 00:18:34,571 --> 00:18:36,657 Is your boyfriend on the roof? 311 00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:40,410 I mean, he's probably, like, fixing something up there. 312 00:18:40,494 --> 00:18:42,579 He's super handy 'cause, you know, 313 00:18:42,663 --> 00:18:45,249 my boyfriend can actually make something, like a man. 314 00:18:45,332 --> 00:18:47,126 Your boyfriend's just a lazy surgeon. 315 00:18:47,209 --> 00:18:49,169 What the hell, Deb? 316 00:18:49,253 --> 00:18:51,797 Besides, guys, if he was Santa, 317 00:18:52,923 --> 00:18:54,424 then why is he so good in bed? 318 00:18:55,676 --> 00:18:58,428 I'm sorry, is Santa supposed to be, like, bad in bed? 319 00:18:58,512 --> 00:18:59,388 No. 320 00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:02,641 If you read the original Turkish folklore text, 321 00:19:02,724 --> 00:19:04,309 Santa doesn't last. 322 00:19:04,393 --> 00:19:06,186 I didn't read that. 323 00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:12,442 I brought very intentional gifts. 324 00:19:12,526 --> 00:19:14,278 - How thoughtful. - Here you are, my boy. 325 00:19:14,361 --> 00:19:16,363 - It's not weird at all. - Wow. 326 00:19:17,197 --> 00:19:19,867 - Oh my God, a Nerf Vortex Vigilon. - Thank you for my gift. 327 00:19:19,950 --> 00:19:23,328 I loved these growing up. I asked Santa for this every year. 328 00:19:25,497 --> 00:19:26,582 A Tickle Me Elmo. 329 00:19:35,799 --> 00:19:36,842 A Tickle Me Elmo. 330 00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:44,057 The only time I ever admitted to wanting one of these is my letter to Santa Claus 331 00:19:44,141 --> 00:19:45,767 when I was 15. 332 00:19:46,351 --> 00:19:48,061 Well, if he's really Santa, 333 00:19:48,145 --> 00:19:51,064 then he'd know the only thing I asked for as a little girl 334 00:19:51,148 --> 00:19:53,066 was to sing a duet with Shania Twain. 335 00:19:55,068 --> 00:19:56,236 Sorry. 336 00:19:58,530 --> 00:20:01,074 Is that Mrs. Claus? 337 00:20:01,158 --> 00:20:02,618 Is my husband here? 338 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:04,578 Your husband? 339 00:20:04,661 --> 00:20:05,829 You're married?! 340 00:20:06,330 --> 00:20:08,123 We've been married 400 years. 341 00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:10,167 Yes, but after the first hundred, 342 00:20:10,250 --> 00:20:11,835 we decided to be open. 343 00:20:13,378 --> 00:20:14,755 That was my idea. 344 00:20:14,838 --> 00:20:16,381 - Santa! - Santa! 345 00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:17,883 He's not Santa! 346 00:20:28,268 --> 00:20:29,311 Thank you. 347 00:20:33,148 --> 00:20:35,525 Thank you guys so much for coming to be in this sketch. 348 00:20:35,609 --> 00:20:37,277 Oh my God, it's so fun. 349 00:20:37,361 --> 00:20:40,572 I love your set kitchen, by the way. Does any of the stuff really work? 350 00:20:40,656 --> 00:20:42,449 No, but we're gonna fix it all in post. 351 00:20:43,450 --> 00:20:45,577 - Yum! Delicious. - Wow! 352 00:20:50,958 --> 00:20:52,209 Hi, Shania. 353 00:20:53,043 --> 00:20:54,795 - All right, Sabrina. - Are you ready? 354 00:20:54,878 --> 00:20:55,921 I'm so ready. 355 00:20:57,673 --> 00:21:02,386 Santa baby Slip a sable under the tree 356 00:21:02,469 --> 00:21:03,971 For me 357 00:21:04,513 --> 00:21:06,807 Been an awfully good girl 358 00:21:06,890 --> 00:21:08,225 Santa baby 359 00:21:08,308 --> 00:21:11,478 Hurry down the chimney tonight 360 00:21:13,772 --> 00:21:16,525 Mmm, Santa baby 361 00:21:16,608 --> 00:21:19,653 A '54 convertible too 362 00:21:19,736 --> 00:21:20,821 Light blue 363 00:21:21,613 --> 00:21:23,865 Yeah, I'll wait up for you, dear 364 00:21:23,949 --> 00:21:25,367 Santa baby 365 00:21:25,450 --> 00:21:28,912 And hurry down the chimney tonight 366 00:21:32,916 --> 00:21:36,628 Think of all the fun I've missed 367 00:21:36,712 --> 00:21:41,174 Think of all the fellas That I haven't kissed 368 00:21:41,258 --> 00:21:45,012 Well, next year I could Be just as good 369 00:21:45,095 --> 00:21:49,182 If you checked off my Christmas list 370 00:21:50,183 --> 00:21:51,601 Santa baby 371 00:21:51,685 --> 00:21:54,313 I want a yacht, and really that's not 372 00:21:54,396 --> 00:21:56,023 - That's it? - That's not a lot 373 00:21:56,523 --> 00:21:58,734 I've been an angel all year 374 00:21:58,817 --> 00:22:00,319 Santa baby 375 00:22:00,402 --> 00:22:04,031 And hurry down the chimney tonight 376 00:22:06,950 --> 00:22:09,745 Mmm, Santa honey 377 00:22:09,828 --> 00:22:12,539 One little thing I really need 378 00:22:12,622 --> 00:22:13,623 The deed 379 00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:16,710 To a platinum mine 380 00:22:16,793 --> 00:22:18,086 Santa baby 381 00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:21,882 Hurry down the chimney tonight 382 00:22:23,216 --> 00:22:24,301 Sing it! 383 00:22:25,510 --> 00:22:28,930 Come and trim my Christmas tree 384 00:22:29,014 --> 00:22:33,310 With some decorations Bought at Tiffany 385 00:22:33,393 --> 00:22:37,356 I really do believe in you 386 00:22:37,439 --> 00:22:42,527 And let's see if you believe in me 387 00:22:42,611 --> 00:22:47,115 Santa baby Forgot to mention one little thing 388 00:22:47,199 --> 00:22:48,658 A ring 389 00:22:49,201 --> 00:22:51,244 I don't mean on the phone 390 00:22:51,328 --> 00:22:52,704 Santa baby 391 00:22:52,788 --> 00:22:56,875 - So hurry down the chimney tonight - Hey 392 00:22:57,376 --> 00:22:59,961 Hurry down the chimney tonight 393 00:23:00,962 --> 00:23:05,759 - Hurry down the chimney tonight - Yes, sir 394 00:23:05,842 --> 00:23:10,389 - I said hurry down the chimney tonight - Hurry 395 00:23:10,472 --> 00:23:13,392 Hurry down the chimney 396 00:23:13,475 --> 00:23:18,897 Tonight 397 00:23:29,574 --> 00:23:30,951 Shania Twain, everybody. 398 00:23:35,914 --> 00:23:38,083 - That was beautiful, Sabrina. - So beautiful! 399 00:23:38,166 --> 00:23:39,668 Oh my God. I can't believe you're here. 400 00:23:44,381 --> 00:23:45,340 Sabrina! 401 00:23:45,424 --> 00:23:46,842 Thank you, guys! 402 00:24:02,649 --> 00:24:05,569 I'm one of those girls who believes it's better to give than receive 403 00:24:05,652 --> 00:24:06,945 when it comes to presents. 404 00:24:07,028 --> 00:24:09,114 I love to spoil my family. 405 00:24:49,029 --> 00:24:51,615 Hey, you haven't given me anything yet. 406 00:24:51,698 --> 00:24:53,325 Right. 407 00:25:30,362 --> 00:25:31,279 Okay. 408 00:25:49,297 --> 00:25:51,383 So what? He just, like, hangs out? 409 00:25:51,466 --> 00:25:52,968 Yeah, when he's not at work. 410 00:25:53,051 --> 00:25:55,303 - What's his job again? - Oh, I forget. 411 00:26:04,020 --> 00:26:06,439 Seriously, what the hell do I get him? 412 00:26:15,448 --> 00:26:16,449 A phone charger. 413 00:26:17,450 --> 00:26:18,577 I love it! 414 00:26:18,660 --> 00:26:21,204 I've always needed one of these. 415 00:26:21,913 --> 00:26:23,248 You're so interesting. 416 00:26:23,790 --> 00:26:25,083 Where'd you get this? 417 00:26:26,501 --> 00:26:29,629 You're like a genius. You're really something special, Sabrina. 418 00:26:30,213 --> 00:26:31,256 May I hug you? 419 00:26:33,592 --> 00:26:35,218 Yeah. Okay. 420 00:26:35,302 --> 00:26:38,346 You made this a really awesome Christmas. I really care about you. 421 00:26:38,430 --> 00:26:41,099 - Honey, stop hugging my sister. - Oh, I'm sorry about that. 422 00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:44,769 What the f&*% Do I get my brother-in-law? 423 00:26:55,196 --> 00:26:56,573 - Hey, Sabrina. - Yeah? 424 00:26:57,282 --> 00:27:01,286 Um, I got an idea for you. I don't know if you're open to… 425 00:27:01,369 --> 00:27:02,203 Sure. 426 00:27:08,126 --> 00:27:09,878 This is not what I usually do, so… 427 00:27:09,961 --> 00:27:11,212 - But, um, yeah. - Okay. 428 00:27:11,296 --> 00:27:14,049 - Let me know what you're… thinking. - Well, I'll just do it. 429 00:27:14,132 --> 00:27:16,176 - Okay, cool. Just, like, go. - Um… 430 00:27:17,844 --> 00:27:20,055 Why's everybody always lying to me? 431 00:27:20,138 --> 00:27:22,015 You gotta stop lying to me 432 00:27:22,098 --> 00:27:24,309 Everybody I know is lying to me 433 00:27:24,392 --> 00:27:26,478 I wish they'd stop lying to me 434 00:27:28,772 --> 00:27:31,316 So, like, a… It's like a song? 435 00:27:31,399 --> 00:27:34,361 I mean, like, to me, the whole… It's more the spirit of, like… 436 00:27:34,444 --> 00:27:35,945 Why's everybody always lying to me? 437 00:27:36,029 --> 00:27:36,863 Oh, the spirit. 438 00:27:36,946 --> 00:27:38,156 You gotta stop lying to me 439 00:27:38,239 --> 00:27:42,494 Yeah… Yeah, it's, like, less holiday maybe than we were going… 440 00:27:42,577 --> 00:27:44,037 - Okay. - …for. 441 00:27:44,120 --> 00:27:46,289 The network might not get it. 442 00:27:46,373 --> 00:27:48,166 The elves keep lying to me 443 00:27:48,249 --> 00:27:49,376 Maybe if you say "the elves." 444 00:27:49,459 --> 00:27:51,211 Actually, yeah. If you say "the elves," maybe. 445 00:27:51,294 --> 00:27:52,128 - Okay, cool. - Cool. 446 00:27:52,212 --> 00:27:53,713 - I'll type something up. - Okay. 447 00:27:53,797 --> 00:27:57,092 - What is your email? - Let me get you my manager's info. 448 00:27:57,175 --> 00:27:59,803 - No, I'd like your personal email. - Okay. 449 00:28:01,596 --> 00:28:04,015 Setting for the duet with Kali Uchis. 450 00:28:04,099 --> 00:28:06,726 All right, steady cam is up. 451 00:28:06,810 --> 00:28:08,812 All right, ladies, you ready? Here we go. 452 00:28:08,895 --> 00:28:09,729 Action. 453 00:28:20,490 --> 00:28:27,080 I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus 454 00:28:27,163 --> 00:28:32,252 Underneath the mistletoe last night 455 00:28:33,878 --> 00:28:37,006 She didn't see me creep 456 00:28:37,090 --> 00:28:40,677 Down the stairs to have a peep 457 00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:43,596 She thought that I was tucked up 458 00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:46,850 In my bedroom fast asleep 459 00:28:46,933 --> 00:28:50,186 Then I saw Mommy 460 00:28:50,270 --> 00:28:54,441 Tickle Santa Claus 461 00:28:54,983 --> 00:29:00,864 Underneath his beard so snowy white 462 00:29:00,947 --> 00:29:04,492 Oh, what a laugh it would've been 463 00:29:04,576 --> 00:29:07,537 If Daddy had only seen 464 00:29:07,620 --> 00:29:14,377 Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night 465 00:29:15,628 --> 00:29:19,007 I saw Mommy kissing 466 00:29:19,090 --> 00:29:22,218 Kissing, kissing Santa Claus 467 00:29:22,302 --> 00:29:28,057 Underneath the mistletoe last night 468 00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:31,770 What a laugh it would have been 469 00:29:31,853 --> 00:29:34,939 If Daddy had only seen 470 00:29:35,023 --> 00:29:41,780 Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night 471 00:29:41,863 --> 00:29:45,074 Oh, what a laugh it would've been 472 00:29:45,658 --> 00:29:48,703 If Daddy had only seen 473 00:29:48,787 --> 00:29:52,999 Mommy kissing Santa Claus 474 00:29:53,082 --> 00:29:58,213 Last night 475 00:30:03,927 --> 00:30:05,512 Ho ho ho! 476 00:30:06,513 --> 00:30:08,723 Ho ho ho. Ho ho ho. 477 00:30:11,226 --> 00:30:13,186 Yo, Cratchit, what up? 478 00:30:13,269 --> 00:30:15,021 Yes, you have work tomorrow. 479 00:30:15,563 --> 00:30:17,357 Why? 'Cause it's Christmas? 480 00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:19,567 What, are we 12, dude? 481 00:30:19,651 --> 00:30:21,444 No, we have content to create. 482 00:30:22,195 --> 00:30:23,363 Yeah. 483 00:30:23,446 --> 00:30:27,075 Be here at nine with a ring light and Nobu breakfast sushi, okay? 484 00:30:27,158 --> 00:30:28,993 All right. Humbug, player. 485 00:30:29,077 --> 00:30:30,078 Adios. 486 00:30:37,126 --> 00:30:38,920 Wakey-wakey. 487 00:30:40,338 --> 00:30:43,758 Annie? Uh, what are you doing here? 488 00:30:43,842 --> 00:30:45,426 I'm the spirit of Ghosted Past. 489 00:30:45,510 --> 00:30:47,887 We went on five dates, and I never heard from you again. 490 00:30:47,971 --> 00:30:51,266 I… got really busy at work. 491 00:30:51,349 --> 00:30:53,685 And then I… and then I lost my phone. 492 00:30:53,768 --> 00:30:55,812 No. I saw you peeping my stories. 493 00:30:55,895 --> 00:30:59,732 That's strange. That's really weird. I gotta talk to Zuck about that. 494 00:31:00,233 --> 00:31:03,236 If you didn't want to keep seeing me, you should've just told me. 495 00:31:03,319 --> 00:31:06,447 I really liked you. What it was was I went out of town. 496 00:31:06,531 --> 00:31:08,825 - I went to this place with no service-- - Ugh, shut up. 497 00:31:08,908 --> 00:31:11,077 You ghosted me, and it made me feel crazy 498 00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:14,122 when you're the one that couldn't handle "an honest conversation." 499 00:31:14,205 --> 00:31:17,876 Because telling someone you don't wanna date them is awkward AF. 500 00:31:17,959 --> 00:31:20,336 It's worse to leave someone on read! Learn from this! 501 00:31:24,048 --> 00:31:26,342 Hi. 502 00:31:27,594 --> 00:31:30,513 Allie. How… how'd you get in here? 503 00:31:30,597 --> 00:31:32,098 Oh, I figured out where you live 504 00:31:32,181 --> 00:31:35,560 from the breadcrumbs you left on your TikTok for me to find. 505 00:31:35,643 --> 00:31:37,854 - What? - Haven't heard from you in a couple days. 506 00:31:38,438 --> 00:31:42,442 And you said we were going to go see Wicked together, so here I am. 507 00:31:43,234 --> 00:31:46,821 Right. Right. Yes. I… I did say that, didn't I? 508 00:31:46,905 --> 00:31:48,698 I am the spirit of Ghosted Present, 509 00:31:48,781 --> 00:31:51,701 and is it just me or are you ignoring me until I go away? 510 00:31:51,784 --> 00:31:54,245 Allie. It ain't even like that. 511 00:31:54,329 --> 00:31:56,623 You love bombed me for a month, then I never heard from you. 512 00:31:56,706 --> 00:31:58,499 Is it something I did? Is it… 513 00:31:58,583 --> 00:32:00,710 It's not you. It's him. 514 00:32:01,419 --> 00:32:03,963 W-- Oh my God. Ghosted Past? 515 00:32:04,047 --> 00:32:06,174 Wait. Oh my God. Ghosted Present. 516 00:32:06,257 --> 00:32:08,301 - I hate that we're meeting like this. - I know. 517 00:32:10,345 --> 00:32:12,055 - I love your bangs. They're cute. - Thank you. 518 00:32:12,138 --> 00:32:14,098 I got them 'cause he ghosted me, so… 519 00:32:15,099 --> 00:32:16,851 By the way, you're about to get ghosted too. 520 00:32:16,935 --> 00:32:19,062 - What?! - Ladies, ladies, please. 521 00:32:20,229 --> 00:32:21,272 I'm a good guy. 522 00:32:21,981 --> 00:32:25,318 - I'm an uncle to daughters. - Okay, why aren't you texting me back? 523 00:32:25,401 --> 00:32:27,362 Life has been crazy. 524 00:32:27,445 --> 00:32:29,322 I mean, my boy Cratchit, 525 00:32:29,405 --> 00:32:32,450 he's got this son with a… crazy cough. 526 00:32:32,533 --> 00:32:33,701 Bob Cratchit? 527 00:32:33,785 --> 00:32:37,038 You barely pay him for editing out your falls in your skateboard videos. 528 00:32:37,121 --> 00:32:40,375 And you invented energy-drink cologne, so we know the money is there. 529 00:32:40,458 --> 00:32:43,044 Whatever. Get off my jock. 530 00:32:45,004 --> 00:32:46,965 Whoo! 531 00:32:47,048 --> 00:32:48,383 Ebby? 532 00:32:50,218 --> 00:32:52,220 Hey. Hi. 533 00:32:52,303 --> 00:32:54,597 It's Bri. From Coachella. 534 00:32:54,681 --> 00:32:56,057 The Sahara Tent. 535 00:32:56,641 --> 00:32:58,726 Right. Bri, yes. 536 00:32:58,810 --> 00:33:01,396 Hello. How is your bird? 537 00:33:01,479 --> 00:33:02,855 Oh, still sick. 538 00:33:03,481 --> 00:33:05,692 But I'm so happy we ran into each other here. 539 00:33:05,775 --> 00:33:07,151 - Yeah. Me too. Hey. - So fun. 540 00:33:07,235 --> 00:33:09,654 Yeah. Wait. Let me get your number. 541 00:33:09,737 --> 00:33:10,780 - Oh, yeah. - What?! 542 00:33:10,863 --> 00:33:12,865 - No! - No! No. 543 00:33:12,949 --> 00:33:14,909 - You're gonna get ghosted. - What? 544 00:33:14,993 --> 00:33:18,287 You're the spirit of Ghosted Future, babe. He's not gonna change. 545 00:33:18,371 --> 00:33:21,666 But he seems so sweet. Oh. 546 00:33:21,749 --> 00:33:23,793 Ugh, I can't believe I even liked you. 547 00:33:24,419 --> 00:33:26,379 You know what? We should just hang out. 548 00:33:26,963 --> 00:33:27,922 Yes! 549 00:33:28,006 --> 00:33:30,508 - Oh my God! - Okay, stop, stop. 550 00:33:30,591 --> 00:33:31,926 Stop, please. 551 00:33:33,886 --> 00:33:36,222 I've seen the errors of my ways. 552 00:33:37,056 --> 00:33:40,226 I'm gonna text back. I'm gonna be transparent. 553 00:33:41,477 --> 00:33:45,648 And I'm gonna have honest conversations, even if they're the difficult ones. 554 00:33:50,153 --> 00:33:52,947 Cratchit? Hey, hombre. 555 00:33:53,614 --> 00:33:54,741 It's Ebby Scrouge. 556 00:33:55,700 --> 00:33:59,245 You don't have to make content tomorrow. It's Christmas! 557 00:34:00,997 --> 00:34:03,624 It's actually no big deal. I like girls anyway. 558 00:34:04,375 --> 00:34:06,377 Ladies, turkey leg for you. 559 00:34:07,837 --> 00:34:10,173 - Turkey leg for you. - Thanks. 560 00:34:10,256 --> 00:34:11,632 Turkey leg for you. 561 00:34:11,716 --> 00:34:13,634 - Is it vegan? - Just… just take it. 562 00:34:13,718 --> 00:34:16,012 All right. Merry Christmas! 563 00:34:16,763 --> 00:34:19,307 And God bless us, every one. 564 00:34:30,193 --> 00:34:32,695 My mic is also in between my butt cheeks. 565 00:34:33,196 --> 00:34:34,447 Cut the cam. 566 00:34:36,074 --> 00:34:37,492 What up? It's Nico. 567 00:34:37,575 --> 00:34:38,910 Happy holidays. 568 00:34:38,993 --> 00:34:41,204 Shout out to Sabrina. Thank you for having me. 569 00:34:41,287 --> 00:34:42,330 Merry Christmas. 570 00:34:43,831 --> 00:34:45,416 - Hey, Sabrina. - Hey, Cara. 571 00:34:45,500 --> 00:34:48,086 Are you working on the new lyrics for your "Nonsense" outro? 572 00:34:55,051 --> 00:34:57,470 No, and I'm kind of worried. I'm really feeling the pressure. 573 00:34:57,553 --> 00:35:00,056 I just don't wanna, like, disappoint the fans, you know? 574 00:35:00,139 --> 00:35:02,350 Don't worry. It's… it's easy, right? 575 00:35:02,433 --> 00:35:03,434 I've got one. 576 00:35:04,185 --> 00:35:06,813 Gotta give a shoutout to my boy, Nick. 577 00:35:06,896 --> 00:35:09,190 Wouldn't let him hit it, just the cane tip. 578 00:35:09,732 --> 00:35:12,860 Guess I stayed consistent with my strange tricks. Right? 579 00:35:12,944 --> 00:35:14,695 - Yeah. - No? 580 00:35:14,779 --> 00:35:18,449 - You can use it. Just give me 10%. - It's not the worst one I've ever heard. 581 00:35:18,533 --> 00:35:20,118 - It's not the worst. - It's not. 582 00:35:20,201 --> 00:35:22,495 I hope I helped. Bye! 583 00:35:25,456 --> 00:35:27,917 Take the tinsel out of your hair as soon as possible. 584 00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:29,418 You love it. 585 00:35:29,502 --> 00:35:30,711 - I love you. - I love you too. 586 00:35:48,938 --> 00:35:53,234 Last Christmas, I gave you my heart 587 00:35:53,317 --> 00:35:58,239 But the very next day You gave it away 588 00:35:58,322 --> 00:36:02,535 This year, to save me from tears 589 00:36:02,618 --> 00:36:06,747 I′ll give it to someone special 590 00:36:07,415 --> 00:36:11,586 Last Christmas, I gave you my heart 591 00:36:11,669 --> 00:36:16,716 But the very next day You gave it away 592 00:36:16,799 --> 00:36:21,012 This year, to save me from tears 593 00:36:21,095 --> 00:36:24,849 I'll give it to someone special 594 00:36:26,726 --> 00:36:30,855 Once bitten and twice shy 595 00:36:30,938 --> 00:36:35,818 I keep my distance But you still catch my eye 596 00:36:35,902 --> 00:36:39,989 Tell me, baby, do you recognize me? 597 00:36:40,072 --> 00:36:44,952 Well, it′s been a year It doesn't surprise me 598 00:36:45,036 --> 00:36:49,081 "Merry Christmas" I wrapped it up and sent it 599 00:36:49,165 --> 00:36:53,628 With a note saying "I love you" I meant it 600 00:36:53,711 --> 00:36:57,632 Now I know what a fool I've been 601 00:36:57,715 --> 00:37:02,887 But if you kissed me now I know you′d fool me again 602 00:37:02,970 --> 00:37:06,933 Last Christmas, I gave you my heart 603 00:37:07,016 --> 00:37:12,146 But the very next day You gave it away 604 00:37:12,230 --> 00:37:16,359 This year, to save me from tears 605 00:37:16,442 --> 00:37:20,404 I′ll give it to someone special 606 00:37:21,739 --> 00:37:26,160 A crowded room Friends with tired eyes 607 00:37:26,244 --> 00:37:31,082 I′m hiding from you And your soul of ice 608 00:37:31,165 --> 00:37:35,169 My God I thought you were someone to rely on 609 00:37:35,253 --> 00:37:39,465 Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on 610 00:37:39,548 --> 00:37:43,844 A face on a lover With a fire in his heart 611 00:37:43,928 --> 00:37:50,935 A man under cover But you tore me apart 612 00:37:51,018 --> 00:37:52,728 Ooh 613 00:37:52,812 --> 00:37:55,106 Now I've found a real love 614 00:37:55,189 --> 00:37:58,192 You′ll never fool me again 615 00:37:58,276 --> 00:38:02,405 Last Christmas, I gave you my heart 616 00:38:02,488 --> 00:38:07,493 But the very next day You gave it away 617 00:38:07,576 --> 00:38:11,789 This year, to save me from tears 618 00:38:11,872 --> 00:38:16,544 I'll give it to someone special 619 00:38:16,627 --> 00:38:20,423 Last Christmas, I gave you my heart 620 00:38:20,506 --> 00:38:25,386 But the very next day You gave it away 621 00:38:25,469 --> 00:38:30,308 And this year, to save me from tears 622 00:38:30,391 --> 00:38:33,519 I′ll give it to someone special 623 00:38:33,602 --> 00:38:38,065 I′ll give it to someone 624 00:38:39,525 --> 00:38:41,485 Special 625 00:38:41,986 --> 00:38:46,365 I′ll give it to someone special 626 00:38:46,449 --> 00:38:48,534 Special 627 00:38:48,617 --> 00:38:49,910 Maybe next year. 628 00:38:49,994 --> 00:38:51,037 Maybe. 629 00:38:53,497 --> 00:38:57,251 A face on a lover With a fire in his heart 630 00:38:57,335 --> 00:39:00,338 - Made you mine - A man under cover 631 00:39:00,421 --> 00:39:04,967 But you tore him apart 632 00:39:07,178 --> 00:39:09,513 I'll give it to someone 633 00:39:09,597 --> 00:39:14,226 I'll give it to someone special 634 00:39:59,980 --> 00:40:04,026 I saw you laughing In one of his pictures 635 00:40:04,110 --> 00:40:08,406 But you'll be the one With his ring on your finger 636 00:40:08,489 --> 00:40:12,785 There's red and green everywhere But I'm so blue 637 00:40:12,868 --> 00:40:15,871 Cindy Lou Who 638 00:40:16,997 --> 00:40:21,377 Maybe he met you Somewhere in the desert 639 00:40:21,460 --> 00:40:25,256 While he was soul-searching He found someone better 640 00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:30,261 Guess you make him happy Like I couldn't do 641 00:40:30,344 --> 00:40:33,180 Cindy Lou Who 642 00:40:36,392 --> 00:40:39,937 With your hair so long, lips so red 643 00:40:40,813 --> 00:40:44,108 Maybe we met once, I forget 644 00:40:45,067 --> 00:40:47,778 Scrolling five years back I'm obsessed 645 00:40:47,862 --> 00:40:51,782 Breaking my heart 'Tis the season, I guess 646 00:41:13,387 --> 00:41:16,682 With your hair so long, lips so red 647 00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:21,020 If you're waking up now in his old bed 648 00:41:21,979 --> 00:41:23,439 At his family's house 649 00:41:23,522 --> 00:41:25,941 Know that you're just Breaking my heart 650 00:41:26,025 --> 00:41:28,736 'Tis the season, I guess 651 00:41:30,571 --> 00:41:35,117 The snow's gonna fall And the tree's gonna glisten 652 00:41:35,201 --> 00:41:39,538 And I'm gonna puke At the thought of you kissin' 653 00:41:39,622 --> 00:41:43,959 The boy who I love Is now in love with you 654 00:41:44,043 --> 00:41:46,962 Cindy Lou Who 655 00:41:48,297 --> 00:41:53,219 I told all my friends They said it can't be true 656 00:41:53,302 --> 00:41:57,181 Cindy Lou Who 657 00:42:01,810 --> 00:42:03,062 Good night, everybody. 658 00:42:06,232 --> 00:42:09,610 You didn't think I was gonna leave you crying on Christmas, did you? 659 00:42:15,449 --> 00:42:17,701 Wait. Missing something. 660 00:42:20,287 --> 00:42:21,121 Hit it! 661 00:42:28,837 --> 00:42:31,340 It's the holiday remix 662 00:42:33,551 --> 00:42:36,971 Think I only want you Under my mistletoe 663 00:42:37,054 --> 00:42:40,182 I might change your contact To "Has a huge North Pole" 664 00:42:40,266 --> 00:42:43,852 You said you like my stockings Better on the floor 665 00:42:43,936 --> 00:42:47,273 Boy, I've been a bad girl I guess I'm gettin' coal 666 00:42:47,815 --> 00:42:51,193 Let me come warm you up You've been out in the snow 667 00:42:51,277 --> 00:42:54,613 Baby, my tongue goes numb Sounds like "ho ho ho" 668 00:42:54,697 --> 00:42:58,117 I don't want Santa's elves Underneath this ol' tree 669 00:42:58,200 --> 00:43:01,537 Here's a little carol I wrote It's about you and me 670 00:43:01,620 --> 00:43:03,747 You're my wish list 671 00:43:03,831 --> 00:43:07,084 Lookin' at you Got me thinking Christmas 672 00:43:07,167 --> 00:43:10,379 Snowflakes in my stomach When we're kissin' 673 00:43:10,462 --> 00:43:14,633 And when you're comin' down the chimney Oh, it feels so good 674 00:43:14,717 --> 00:43:17,469 I need that Charles Dickens 675 00:43:17,553 --> 00:43:20,973 You'll be Santa Claus and I'll be Mrs. 676 00:43:21,056 --> 00:43:24,435 I'll take you for a ride I'll be your vixen 677 00:43:24,518 --> 00:43:27,229 I don't even know I'm talkin' Christmas 678 00:43:27,313 --> 00:43:28,981 I'm talkin', I'm talkin' 679 00:43:29,064 --> 00:43:32,443 I'm talkin' deckin' all the halls Spikin' eggnog 680 00:43:33,152 --> 00:43:35,904 Opposite of small I'm talkin' big snowballs 681 00:43:35,988 --> 00:43:39,366 You got a new toy for me I'm out here trimmin' the tree 682 00:43:39,450 --> 00:43:42,953 I caught that holiday glee My true love gave it to me 683 00:43:43,037 --> 00:43:46,498 Let me come warm you up You been out in the snow 684 00:43:46,582 --> 00:43:49,793 Baby, my tongue goes numb It sounds like "ho ho ho" 685 00:43:49,877 --> 00:43:53,339 And I don't want Santa's elves Underneath this ol' tree 686 00:43:53,422 --> 00:43:56,800 Here's a lil' carol I wrote It's about you and me 687 00:43:56,884 --> 00:43:58,469 You're my wish list 688 00:43:59,053 --> 00:44:02,306 Lookin' at you Got me thinking Christmas 689 00:44:02,389 --> 00:44:05,643 Snowflakes in my stomach When we're kissin' 690 00:44:05,726 --> 00:44:09,605 And when you're comin' down the chimney Oh, it feels so good 691 00:44:09,688 --> 00:44:12,775 I need that Charles Dickens 692 00:44:12,858 --> 00:44:16,028 You'll be Santa Claus and I'll be Mrs. 693 00:44:16,111 --> 00:44:19,740 I'll take you for a ride I'll be your vixen 694 00:44:19,823 --> 00:44:22,534 I don't even know I'm talkin' Christmas 695 00:44:22,618 --> 00:44:25,162 I'm talkin', I'm talkin', I'm talkin' 696 00:44:31,335 --> 00:44:32,169 Whoo! 697 00:44:40,511 --> 00:44:43,889 Look at all these presents That's a big sack 698 00:44:43,972 --> 00:44:46,934 Boy, that package Is too big to gift-wrap 699 00:44:47,017 --> 00:44:50,562 Woke up this morning Thought I'd write a "Chrismash" 700 00:44:50,646 --> 00:44:53,065 How quickly can you build a snowman? 701 00:44:54,149 --> 00:44:57,277 Well, here we are My special at its ending 702 00:44:57,778 --> 00:45:00,864 Love you all And thank you for attending 703 00:45:00,948 --> 00:45:04,284 I can't believe I kept it family-"friendling" 704 00:45:06,245 --> 00:45:07,871 Aw. Thanks. 705 00:45:11,625 --> 00:45:13,669 Oh, a massager. Thank you! 706 00:45:15,170 --> 00:45:16,004 Wow! 707 00:45:17,047 --> 00:45:19,174 The Christmas spirit is so 708 00:45:19,842 --> 00:45:21,051 infectious. 709 00:45:22,177 --> 00:45:27,015 We did it all. Fire juggling, lion wrestling, a live on-camera birth. 710 00:45:27,099 --> 00:45:29,393 Some of this stuff may have been cut out for time, 711 00:45:29,476 --> 00:45:31,854 but truly, this has been such a dream. 712 00:45:31,937 --> 00:45:34,022 Thank you to all my guests for being a part of it. 713 00:45:34,106 --> 00:45:35,941 Thank you to you for being a part of it. 714 00:45:36,024 --> 00:45:38,944 Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good night. 715 00:45:39,445 --> 00:45:40,988 Love, Sabrina Claus. 716 00:46:14,146 --> 00:46:17,191 They told me I could have an unlimited budget as long as I go viral, 717 00:46:17,274 --> 00:46:19,401 so I'm gonna break the set just to do it. 718 00:46:20,944 --> 00:46:22,905 Reset! Reset! No, no, no! 719 00:46:24,948 --> 00:46:28,327 Well, we should do that one more time. 720 00:46:31,038 --> 00:46:32,206 Whoa! 721 00:46:33,248 --> 00:46:38,504 It's the ho ho ho-iest special of all 722 00:46:40,088 --> 00:46:41,715 The prompter stopped working 723 00:46:41,799 --> 00:46:43,842 So we have to start over 724 00:46:44,885 --> 00:46:47,846 Gotta stay consistent with my strange tricks. 725 00:46:53,060 --> 00:46:54,394 - Yeah. - No? 726 00:46:54,478 --> 00:46:55,479 You can use it. 727 00:46:55,562 --> 00:46:58,690 - I'm not using that. - It's coming. I just needed to-- 728 00:46:58,774 --> 00:46:59,817 - Oh, it's coming. - Yeah. 729 00:46:59,900 --> 00:47:01,902 I've used that, so… 730 00:47:03,862 --> 00:47:05,030 You look so beautiful. 731 00:47:05,113 --> 00:47:07,449 I look so… straight. 732 00:47:07,991 --> 00:47:09,868 You look so straight?! 733 00:47:11,870 --> 00:47:14,206 - Did you… - Here we go! 734 00:47:14,748 --> 00:47:16,416 - Three… - No. Don't say that. 735 00:47:16,500 --> 00:47:18,001 - Not now! - Not now. 736 00:47:19,044 --> 00:47:21,004 All right, ladies, you ready? Here we go. 737 00:47:22,631 --> 00:47:24,883 This is not my… you know, my typical… 738 00:47:24,967 --> 00:47:26,426 - Oh, whoa. - Let me take it again. 739 00:47:28,428 --> 00:47:31,139 Look at me I'm hanging with Meg Stalter 740 00:47:31,682 --> 00:47:34,142 I like being naked and having sex 741 00:47:34,226 --> 00:47:36,186 I like having sex naked 742 00:47:36,687 --> 00:47:37,855 During sex 743 00:47:37,938 --> 00:47:40,774 I think I should be in, um, one of the songs. 744 00:47:42,568 --> 00:47:44,361 How do you appear out the mist again? 745 00:47:48,198 --> 00:47:51,493 Love to don my super gay apparel 746 00:47:51,577 --> 00:47:54,788 When you say something's gay, do you know what you're saying? Knock it off. 747 00:47:56,415 --> 00:47:57,291 And that's true. 748 00:47:57,958 --> 00:47:59,084 Please 749 00:47:59,167 --> 00:48:00,752 Please, please 750 00:48:00,836 --> 00:48:02,588 Don't prove I'm right 751 00:48:02,671 --> 00:48:05,674 - Should I be singing… - Don't prove I'm right 752 00:48:05,757 --> 00:48:08,635 Did you guys hear? I sounded kinda like Sabrina. Right? No one? 753 00:48:08,719 --> 00:48:11,179 - We've been married 400 years. - Yeah. 754 00:48:11,263 --> 00:48:14,641 And after the first hundred, we agreed to be 755 00:48:15,809 --> 00:48:16,810 separate. 756 00:48:18,353 --> 00:48:19,187 Wait, what? 757 00:48:20,480 --> 00:48:24,318 Yeah, and after the first hundred, we agreed to be separate. Open! 758 00:48:24,401 --> 00:48:27,029 - Just tickle your Elmo. - Open. Open. 759 00:48:27,613 --> 00:48:29,573 Ho ho ho. 760 00:48:29,656 --> 00:48:31,158 Can't even say that anymore. 761 00:48:31,867 --> 00:48:33,952 Santa baby 762 00:48:34,036 --> 00:48:35,829 Slip a stable under-- 763 00:48:35,913 --> 00:48:37,581 Not a stable 764 00:48:37,664 --> 00:48:39,166 Let's do that again 765 00:48:40,918 --> 00:48:42,377 And that's Christmas. 766 00:48:42,461 --> 00:48:43,795 And that's Christmas. 767 00:48:46,423 --> 00:48:47,674 Fuck. 58666

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