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1
00:00:01,104 --> 00:00:03,658
Previously on
"Miracle Workers"...
2
00:00:03,693 --> 00:00:06,247
You want to destroy
the entire world?
3
00:00:06,282 --> 00:00:07,800
Yeah. But that's not why
I brought you in here.
4
00:00:07,835 --> 00:00:10,113
This here is a restaurant.
5
00:00:10,148 --> 00:00:13,289
What?I call it...Lazy Susan's.
6
00:00:13,323 --> 00:00:17,534
I already have
a prototype for the claw.
7
00:00:17,569 --> 00:00:21,262
Eliza: All we have to do
is get these two to kiss.
8
00:00:21,297 --> 00:00:23,057
Friday?
Friday.
9
00:00:23,092 --> 00:00:24,162
Yes!
10
00:00:24,196 --> 00:00:25,266
Yes!
11
00:00:25,301 --> 00:00:27,199
Is that enough time?
12
00:00:27,234 --> 00:00:29,546
Just barely.
13
00:00:44,630 --> 00:00:47,599
This is it.
14
00:00:47,633 --> 00:00:48,738
The big day.
15
00:00:49,670 --> 00:00:53,570
If I don't land
these investors...
16
00:00:53,605 --> 00:00:56,470
Lazy Susan's
doesn't stand a chance.
17
00:00:58,334 --> 00:00:59,438
Who you pitching to?
18
00:00:59,473 --> 00:01:01,889
A couple
of real power players.
19
00:01:04,926 --> 00:01:08,447
Mom, Dad?
20
00:01:08,482 --> 00:01:10,104
I'm coming home.
21
00:01:56,702 --> 00:01:58,670
No, buddy.
No, youlisten to me,okay?
22
00:01:58,704 --> 00:02:01,155
What don't you understand
about supply and "command"?
23
00:02:01,190 --> 00:02:02,363
I mean, it's easy.
24
00:02:02,398 --> 00:02:03,951
I want those numbers
going up, not down.
25
00:02:03,985 --> 00:02:05,780
And if you can't --
Sorry.
26
00:02:05,815 --> 00:02:08,231
If you can't put --
Then it's your ass, all right?
27
00:02:08,266 --> 00:02:09,543
I-I want -- Yes.
28
00:02:09,577 --> 00:02:11,372
At the end of the quarter,
I want those numbers
29
00:02:11,407 --> 00:02:12,649
on my desk, yesterday.
30
00:02:12,684 --> 00:02:13,547
Right.
31
00:02:13,581 --> 00:02:14,720
Woman: We're sorry.
32
00:02:14,755 --> 00:02:15,928
Wow.
33
00:02:15,963 --> 00:02:17,378
Sorry. Work stuff.
34
00:02:17,413 --> 00:02:20,657
Just, if I leave for a minute,
it's, uh...
35
00:02:20,692 --> 00:02:21,520
Anyway, hi.
36
00:02:21,555 --> 00:02:23,522
Hey, there, kiddo.It's been a while.
37
00:02:23,557 --> 00:02:25,800
Bring it in.
38
00:02:25,835 --> 00:02:29,597
Mom, Dad.
39
00:02:33,291 --> 00:02:34,844
Okay.
40
00:02:37,295 --> 00:02:39,538
All right, guys,
how's it looking?
41
00:02:39,573 --> 00:02:41,540
All good here.
Sam showered today.
42
00:02:41,575 --> 00:02:44,405
Good here, too. Laura's picked
out her least-stained shirt.
43
00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:46,407
Craig, have they finalized
their plans for the date?
44
00:02:46,442 --> 00:02:47,822
Yes. They are
going to the cinema.
45
00:02:47,857 --> 00:02:48,789
That is perfect!
46
00:02:48,823 --> 00:02:50,756
Dark theater,
sitting next to each other...
47
00:02:50,791 --> 00:02:52,448
It doesn't get
more romantic than that.
48
00:02:52,482 --> 00:02:55,451
What are they seeing?Oh. This.
49
00:02:55,485 --> 00:02:56,728
Herzog: The sewer.
50
00:02:56,762 --> 00:02:58,971
Tunnels filled with feces.
51
00:02:59,006 --> 00:03:00,973
Rats and slime.
52
00:03:01,008 --> 00:03:02,975
The stench of human waste.
53
00:03:03,010 --> 00:03:06,013
Descend with me
into this nightmare world
54
00:03:06,047 --> 00:03:07,428
of our own making...
55
00:03:07,463 --> 00:03:08,774
in 3-D.
56
00:03:08,809 --> 00:03:10,328
Yeah, they're not
gonna kiss watching that.
57
00:03:10,362 --> 00:03:11,570
What do we do?
58
00:03:11,605 --> 00:03:13,434
We gotta get them
on a better date.
59
00:03:17,369 --> 00:03:18,612
So, how's your planet,
son?
60
00:03:18,646 --> 00:03:20,234
It's going great, Dad.
Thanks for asking.
61
00:03:20,269 --> 00:03:22,616
We just celebrated another
million years without war.
62
00:03:22,650 --> 00:03:25,308
Wow.Somebody's going
after his mom's record.
63
00:03:25,343 --> 00:03:27,586
And, sweetheart,
64
00:03:27,621 --> 00:03:29,864
I heard you're doing an amazing
job running your planet.
65
00:03:29,899 --> 00:03:31,659
Well, you know,
it's a utopia,
66
00:03:31,694 --> 00:03:33,592
so it kind of runs itself.
67
00:03:33,627 --> 00:03:35,629
Of course.
68
00:03:37,493 --> 00:03:38,770
God:
69
00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:43,809
Me too.
70
00:03:43,844 --> 00:03:44,741
What?
71
00:03:44,776 --> 00:03:48,331
Oh, uh, yeah,
I'm also doing really good.
72
00:03:48,366 --> 00:03:49,884
Oh, right.
73
00:03:49,919 --> 00:03:51,403
Your...planet.
74
00:03:51,438 --> 00:03:54,337
Uh, how is Turd?
75
00:03:54,372 --> 00:03:55,787
It's -- It's "Earth."
76
00:03:55,821 --> 00:03:57,478
Earth. Right. Sorry.
77
00:03:57,513 --> 00:03:58,755
Earth.
78
00:03:58,790 --> 00:03:59,894
My apologies.
79
00:03:59,929 --> 00:04:01,620
It's going really great.
80
00:04:01,655 --> 00:04:02,932
Thanks for asking.
81
00:04:02,966 --> 00:04:04,899
But -- ahem --
82
00:04:04,934 --> 00:04:07,661
I've actually been working
on a whole new project.
83
00:04:07,695 --> 00:04:09,490
Here we go.
All right.
84
00:04:09,525 --> 00:04:12,079
Mom, Dad,
it's pitch time.
85
00:04:12,113 --> 00:04:13,667
Come on.
86
00:04:19,431 --> 00:04:20,639
Okay, okay, new pitch.
87
00:04:20,674 --> 00:04:22,572
Uh, how about
a romantic carriage ride?
88
00:04:22,607 --> 00:04:24,298
Nope.
Sam's afraid of horses.
89
00:04:24,333 --> 00:04:25,575
Doesn't like their eyes.
90
00:04:25,610 --> 00:04:27,646
All right, then, uh,
what about an eyeless horse?
91
00:04:27,681 --> 00:04:28,854
We get some crows, right?
92
00:04:28,889 --> 00:04:30,373
Wait, where are
you getting crows from?
93
00:04:30,408 --> 00:04:31,650
It's Earth. Anywhere.
94
00:04:31,685 --> 00:04:32,996
We get them to swoop down
95
00:04:33,031 --> 00:04:35,067
and peck the eyes
out of the horse.
96
00:04:35,102 --> 00:04:36,828
No, crows only peck eyes
out of dead things, though.
97
00:04:36,862 --> 00:04:38,381
So unless you're gonna get
a dead horse...
98
00:04:38,416 --> 00:04:39,693
Then I'll get a dead horse!
99
00:04:39,727 --> 00:04:41,936
Have you guys ever thought
about a Kiss Cam?
100
00:04:41,971 --> 00:04:43,524
Rosie. That's brilliant!
101
00:04:43,559 --> 00:04:45,077
Sorry. What --
W-What is a "Kiss Cam"?
102
00:04:45,112 --> 00:04:46,803
Oh, it's this thing
they do at sporting events.
103
00:04:46,838 --> 00:04:48,391
They find two people
in the stands,
104
00:04:48,426 --> 00:04:50,117
point a camera at them,
and they have to kiss.
105
00:04:50,151 --> 00:04:51,808
Sanjay: There's
a basketball game tonight.
106
00:04:51,843 --> 00:04:53,741
The arena is in
Sam and Laura's neighborhood.
107
00:04:53,776 --> 00:04:55,398
Oh, okay. Sorry.
Are we all -- We all positive
108
00:04:55,433 --> 00:04:57,814
this is the best idea, just
putting them on a massive screen
109
00:04:57,849 --> 00:04:58,953
in front of loads of people?
110
00:04:58,988 --> 00:05:00,438
Let's make it happen.
111
00:05:00,472 --> 00:05:02,819
Yeah.
112
00:05:02,854 --> 00:05:06,409
And on this island, there
are dozens of capable chefs
113
00:05:06,444 --> 00:05:07,962
making all sorts
of foods --
114
00:05:07,997 --> 00:05:11,414
pizza, pasta,
even French, right?
115
00:05:11,449 --> 00:05:12,691
And when you see
a food you like,
116
00:05:12,726 --> 00:05:15,453
you grab it
with this long claw.
117
00:05:15,487 --> 00:05:17,593
And it all goes down...
118
00:05:17,627 --> 00:05:19,940
at Lazy Susan's.
119
00:05:33,885 --> 00:05:35,576
I don't know
how they put up with this.
120
00:05:40,478 --> 00:05:41,789
Whoo!
121
00:05:41,824 --> 00:05:43,135
Okay, Nelson,
I think we've got it,
122
00:05:43,170 --> 00:05:44,723
but let's just get
a few more takes,
123
00:05:44,758 --> 00:05:46,035
just to be on the safe si--Wow.
124
00:05:46,069 --> 00:05:47,899
So, I guess what's left
is to talk numbers?
125
00:05:47,933 --> 00:05:52,041
Well, uh, before your father
and I invest in this...thing,
126
00:05:52,075 --> 00:05:54,008
we need to talk in private.Yes.
127
00:05:54,043 --> 00:05:56,528
Ohh! I see. You want
to get together your offer.
128
00:05:56,563 --> 00:05:57,943
All right.
129
00:05:57,978 --> 00:06:00,014
But if you think you're
gonna take more than 49%,
130
00:06:00,049 --> 00:06:01,602
you got
another thing coming.
131
00:06:03,121 --> 00:06:05,641
All right.
132
00:06:05,675 --> 00:06:07,159
I was just kidding.
133
00:06:07,194 --> 00:06:08,471
I love you guys.
134
00:06:08,506 --> 00:06:10,577
Love you.
135
00:06:12,613 --> 00:06:14,684
Hey, Sam.
So, this is weird,
136
00:06:14,719 --> 00:06:16,617
but it looks like the theater
we were gonna go to tonight
137
00:06:16,652 --> 00:06:19,171
is on fire.
138
00:06:19,206 --> 00:06:20,207
Is everyone okay?
139
00:06:20,241 --> 00:06:22,071
No.
A lot of people died.
140
00:06:22,105 --> 00:06:24,073
Oh, God.So, is there anything else
141
00:06:24,107 --> 00:06:25,626
you might want
to do tonight?
142
00:06:25,661 --> 00:06:27,801
This is gonna sound weird,
but, uh,
143
00:06:27,835 --> 00:06:30,631
two tickets to a basketball
game landed on my head.
144
00:06:30,666 --> 00:06:32,806
What?Yeah, I was eating lunch,
145
00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:34,704
and a crow
dropped them on me.
146
00:06:34,739 --> 00:06:36,637
They look like
pretty good seats.
147
00:06:36,672 --> 00:06:38,052
Okay.
148
00:06:38,087 --> 00:06:39,709
Should we do that?
149
00:06:39,744 --> 00:06:40,814
Sure.
150
00:06:40,848 --> 00:06:42,885
Nice.
151
00:06:44,231 --> 00:06:46,060
What?
-I just...
152
00:06:46,095 --> 00:06:48,511
How can we even be sure they're
going to end up on camera?
153
00:06:48,546 --> 00:06:49,685
All right,
there's gonna be dozens
154
00:06:49,719 --> 00:06:50,996
of other couples
going to this game.
155
00:06:51,031 --> 00:06:53,930
Actually, there's...
156
00:06:53,965 --> 00:06:55,207
212.
-Right.
157
00:06:55,242 --> 00:06:56,519
So there's
virtually no chance
158
00:06:56,554 --> 00:06:57,727
of Sam and Laura
getting picked.
159
00:06:57,762 --> 00:06:58,521
Craig's right.
160
00:06:58,556 --> 00:07:00,661
We need to cull the herd.What?
161
00:07:00,696 --> 00:07:04,458
We take out all the other
couples, by any means necessary.
162
00:07:04,493 --> 00:07:05,804
Good job, Craig.
-Amazing work.
163
00:07:05,839 --> 00:07:08,117
-This is really great.
-Thanks?
164
00:07:08,151 --> 00:07:10,464
Thank you.
165
00:07:10,499 --> 00:07:14,261
The good news is
that we are very proud of you.
166
00:07:14,295 --> 00:07:19,715
And we love
that you have...ideas.
167
00:07:19,749 --> 00:07:22,165
-Great.
-That being said,
168
00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:23,684
with the market
being what it is,
169
00:07:23,719 --> 00:07:25,824
we just don't think
now is a good time
170
00:07:25,859 --> 00:07:27,619
for us to invest
in anything.
171
00:07:29,138 --> 00:07:30,553
What about them?
172
00:07:30,588 --> 00:07:32,728
You invest in their stuff
all the time.
173
00:07:32,762 --> 00:07:33,798
Well, uh...
174
00:07:33,832 --> 00:07:37,146
we just think the concept
for your restaurant...
175
00:07:37,180 --> 00:07:39,113
might be difficult
to execute.
176
00:07:39,148 --> 00:07:42,979
Oh, well, I mean,
if you have any notes at all,
177
00:07:43,014 --> 00:07:45,879
I mean, big or small,
I'm -- I'm totally open.
178
00:07:45,913 --> 00:07:49,020
Well, if you're asking for
notes, um, the "food claw"...
179
00:07:49,054 --> 00:07:51,505
Yeah, the claw stays.
I'm married to the claw.
180
00:07:51,540 --> 00:07:53,507
You lose the claw,
and you're compromising
181
00:07:53,542 --> 00:07:54,991
the integrity
of Lazy Susan's.
182
00:07:55,026 --> 00:07:56,027
I mean...
183
00:07:56,061 --> 00:07:58,581
"Get rid
of the claw," she says.
184
00:08:00,549 --> 00:08:01,584
Anything else?
185
00:08:01,619 --> 00:08:03,586
All right, guys.
Keep it up.
186
00:08:03,621 --> 00:08:04,898
Only a few couples left.
187
00:08:04,932 --> 00:08:07,901
Come on, baby.
188
00:08:09,937 --> 00:08:12,595
Nice work, Eliza.
189
00:08:14,114 --> 00:08:15,598
Aah!
190
00:08:15,633 --> 00:08:17,151
Aah! Aah!
No!
191
00:08:17,186 --> 00:08:18,601
Ah! Great job, Rosie.
192
00:08:18,636 --> 00:08:22,018
I can't go to the game.
193
00:08:22,053 --> 00:08:23,779
I have diarrhea.
194
00:08:26,057 --> 00:08:27,783
Sanjay, gross.
195
00:08:27,817 --> 00:08:29,957
That wasn't me.
That guy just has diarrhea.
196
00:08:29,992 --> 00:08:30,820
Oh.
197
00:08:30,855 --> 00:08:33,927
Well, anyway,
we're in great shape.
198
00:08:33,961 --> 00:08:36,654
Look.
199
00:08:36,688 --> 00:08:38,656
Not as many people
as I expected.
200
00:08:38,690 --> 00:08:41,624
Yeah, looks like
we have this entire row
201
00:08:41,659 --> 00:08:43,557
to ourselves.
202
00:08:44,385 --> 00:08:46,042
Maybe these are
bad teams?
203
00:08:46,077 --> 00:08:47,630
That's okay.
204
00:08:47,665 --> 00:08:50,184
Honestly, I don't know that
much about basketball anyway.
205
00:08:50,219 --> 00:08:51,669
Me neither.
206
00:08:51,703 --> 00:08:53,256
I was just gonna
start cheering for the team
207
00:08:53,291 --> 00:08:55,258
that you started
cheering for.
208
00:08:55,293 --> 00:08:56,984
Wait.
That was my plan, too.
209
00:08:58,365 --> 00:09:00,091
Cheers?
Cheers.
210
00:09:01,851 --> 00:09:04,095
Ahh.
211
00:09:04,129 --> 00:09:06,925
You know, I'm glad
those tickets fell on your head.
212
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:08,202
This is fun.
213
00:09:08,237 --> 00:09:09,963
You're not bored?
214
00:09:09,997 --> 00:09:11,792
I think you could have
taken me anywhere tonight,
215
00:09:11,827 --> 00:09:13,104
and I wouldn't have
been bored.
216
00:09:13,138 --> 00:09:15,002
No, okay. I think we should
disable the Kiss Camera.
217
00:09:15,037 --> 00:09:17,349
Craig.No. They are getting there
on their own.
218
00:09:17,384 --> 00:09:18,696
They don't need
any extra pressure.
219
00:09:18,730 --> 00:09:20,076
The Kiss Cam's gonna work.
220
00:09:20,111 --> 00:09:21,837
I mean, think about it.
221
00:09:21,871 --> 00:09:23,286
Put yourself
in Sam's shoes.
222
00:09:23,321 --> 00:09:24,840
How so?
223
00:09:24,874 --> 00:09:27,670
Imagine you're, like,
this lonely guy,
224
00:09:27,705 --> 00:09:29,741
not a lot of friends,
socially awkward,
225
00:09:29,776 --> 00:09:31,225
everyone thinks
you're weird.
226
00:09:31,260 --> 00:09:32,848
Okay, I will imagine that.
227
00:09:32,882 --> 00:09:36,403
And then one day, out of
the blue, this girl shows up,
228
00:09:36,437 --> 00:09:40,303
and you think she's the coolest
person you've ever met.
229
00:09:40,338 --> 00:09:42,996
Right, yes.And the more you spend time
with her,
230
00:09:43,030 --> 00:09:46,413
the more you realize
this girl kicks ass.
231
00:09:46,447 --> 00:09:48,380
She's awesome.
You really like her.
232
00:09:48,415 --> 00:09:51,038
Okay.And it builds, and it builds
233
00:09:51,073 --> 00:09:53,869
until, one night, she's
sitting right next to you...
234
00:09:53,903 --> 00:09:55,836
like, as close as I am
to you right now.
235
00:09:55,871 --> 00:09:58,667
Mm-hmm.And everyone's looking.
236
00:09:59,771 --> 00:10:01,393
You'd go for it.
Right?
237
00:10:01,428 --> 00:10:04,051
Well, no, not necessarily.
238
00:10:04,086 --> 00:10:06,985
Not if I was unsure
about how she felt about me,
239
00:10:07,020 --> 00:10:09,401
or was scared to death
of losing her as a friend,
240
00:10:09,436 --> 00:10:12,266
and also pretty frightened
of her in general.
241
00:10:12,301 --> 00:10:13,751
What?
What?
242
00:10:13,785 --> 00:10:15,407
Anyway,
let's put it to a vote.
243
00:10:15,442 --> 00:10:17,306
Um, all against.
244
00:10:17,340 --> 00:10:20,067
All for.
245
00:10:20,102 --> 00:10:22,794
Okay, well, I suppose
I have no choice
246
00:10:22,829 --> 00:10:24,002
but to accept
the will of the group.
247
00:10:24,037 --> 00:10:25,901
This is a democracy,
after all,
248
00:10:25,935 --> 00:10:27,903
so, yeah, consider
the matter settled.
249
00:10:28,351 --> 00:10:29,732
-Craig!
-Whoa!
250
00:10:29,767 --> 00:10:31,009
-Hold on!
-What the
251
00:10:31,044 --> 00:10:33,667
No! You're wrong! These are
two very shy people!
252
00:10:35,393 --> 00:10:37,084
-Oh!
-I'm sorry.
253
00:10:37,119 --> 00:10:39,466
I'm very sorry.
That was unprofessional.
254
00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:41,330
And I'm completely out of line.
255
00:10:41,364 --> 00:10:43,297
Frankly,
I am ashamed of myself.
256
00:10:43,332 --> 00:10:44,816
No!
-Oh!
257
00:10:44,851 --> 00:10:46,335
-You open that cabinet!
-No!
258
00:10:46,369 --> 00:10:47,957
-Yes.
-No, you'll ruin this!
259
00:10:47,992 --> 00:10:50,304
Do not put me in there!
No!
260
00:10:50,339 --> 00:10:52,341
-Get him in.
-No! No, no!
261
00:10:52,375 --> 00:10:55,206
Ah, you're making
a huge mistake!
262
00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:57,760
Let's get back to work.
263
00:10:57,795 --> 00:10:59,797
You guys, I --
I
264
00:10:59,831 --> 00:11:02,213
I-I don't get the hesitation,
right?
265
00:11:02,247 --> 00:11:03,490
You love the concept.
266
00:11:03,524 --> 00:11:04,905
And there's
hardly any overhead.
267
00:11:04,940 --> 00:11:07,183
There's no tables,
no waiters,
268
00:11:07,218 --> 00:11:08,909
no bathrooms, no walls...
269
00:11:08,944 --> 00:11:10,842
Why aren't there
any bathrooms?
270
00:11:10,877 --> 00:11:12,775
Well, because
it's a lazy river.
271
00:11:12,810 --> 00:11:14,466
So people would just...
272
00:11:14,501 --> 00:11:16,054
Yeah.
They just go.
273
00:11:16,089 --> 00:11:19,920
Son, I'm not sure
this is for us.
274
00:11:19,955 --> 00:11:21,025
Why?
275
00:11:21,059 --> 00:11:24,097
It just seems like
a -- a very ambitious project,
276
00:11:24,131 --> 00:11:25,063
and we're worried...
277
00:11:25,098 --> 00:11:28,066
That you might not be able
to handle it.
278
00:11:28,101 --> 00:11:30,724
Whoa.
279
00:11:30,759 --> 00:11:33,796
Y-You don't think
I can do this?
280
00:11:33,831 --> 00:11:36,868
You think I'm not...
good enough?
281
00:11:36,903 --> 00:11:39,250
You think there's
something wrong with me?
282
00:11:39,284 --> 00:11:40,527
No.
No, sweetie,
283
00:11:40,561 --> 00:11:42,253
that's not
what we were saying at all!
284
00:11:42,287 --> 00:11:45,739
No, no, no, no. We -- We --
We love the river restaurant.
285
00:11:45,774 --> 00:11:47,361
Really?
286
00:11:47,396 --> 00:11:49,398
Yep.
Count us in, champ.
287
00:11:49,432 --> 00:11:51,745
Okay, good!
288
00:11:51,780 --> 00:11:53,954
Now, for the first
10 locations, I've budgeted --
289
00:11:53,989 --> 00:11:56,301
-Are you kidding me?
-You're gonna bankroll this?!
290
00:11:56,336 --> 00:11:57,820
He's very passionate
about it.
291
00:11:57,855 --> 00:11:59,028
It -- It seems unique.
292
00:11:59,063 --> 00:12:01,065
That's just what you said
about the Earth.
293
00:12:01,099 --> 00:12:03,136
Okay, wait. This is way
different from the Earth.
294
00:12:03,170 --> 00:12:05,103
Mom, it's not.
It's the same thing.
295
00:12:05,138 --> 00:12:07,554
Just another water circle
with people scrambling for food
296
00:12:07,588 --> 00:12:09,142
and shitting everywhere!
297
00:12:09,176 --> 00:12:10,212
Look.
298
00:12:13,077 --> 00:12:14,526
Remember
when he pitched this?
299
00:12:14,561 --> 00:12:16,252
It was insane.
300
00:12:16,287 --> 00:12:17,357
It makes no sense.
301
00:12:17,391 --> 00:12:20,256
But we haaaad to be supportive
'cause he's the baby.
302
00:12:20,291 --> 00:12:22,155
Yeah, let's just forget
that he flunked out of school
303
00:12:22,189 --> 00:12:24,398
and write him a blank check
to start his own planet.
304
00:12:24,433 --> 00:12:27,125
Hey, I started nineplanets.
305
00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:28,782
Yeah, well, you only got
one of them to work.
306
00:12:28,817 --> 00:12:30,404
Kids, that's enough.
307
00:12:30,439 --> 00:12:31,923
Your brother
tried his best.
308
00:12:31,958 --> 00:12:33,131
That's what makes it
so sad.
309
00:12:33,166 --> 00:12:34,581
You guys
are being too harsh.
310
00:12:34,615 --> 00:12:37,170
How bad
can Turd possibly be?
311
00:12:37,204 --> 00:12:38,550
We'll tell you.
312
00:12:43,245 --> 00:12:45,040
Oh!
313
00:12:45,074 --> 00:12:46,558
Whoo!
314
00:12:55,498 --> 00:12:59,054
Announcer: What-What-What-What.
What the what?!
315
00:12:59,088 --> 00:13:02,298
It's time
for the Jammin' 103 Kiss Cam!
316
00:13:02,333 --> 00:13:06,855
Brought to you by
T.J. and Piggie In The Morning.
317
00:13:07,959 --> 00:13:10,859
Ooh, there's
a cozy-looking couple.
318
00:13:12,481 --> 00:13:15,070
Ho-ho!
A little shy, I guess.
319
00:13:15,104 --> 00:13:16,899
Crowd:
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
320
00:13:16,934 --> 00:13:18,901
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!Come on. Kiss her.
321
00:13:18,936 --> 00:13:20,316
Come on.
Get it over with.
322
00:13:20,351 --> 00:13:24,044
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
323
00:13:24,079 --> 00:13:25,839
Craig was right.They're choking.
324
00:13:25,874 --> 00:13:28,221
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
Kiss!
325
00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:33,536
You guys,
it's gonna be fine, okay?
326
00:13:33,571 --> 00:13:36,194
Just relax.
They're gonna do it.
327
00:13:36,229 --> 00:13:37,299
Wait,
what the hell is this now?!
328
00:13:37,333 --> 00:13:40,405
Announcer: Uh-oh.
Look who's on the prowl!
329
00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:42,545
Here comes a real stud, folks.
330
00:13:42,580 --> 00:13:45,479
It's M.C. Dunks.
Go get 'em, Dunks!
331
00:13:47,412 --> 00:13:50,864
Looks like
M.C. Dunks wants a smooch.
332
00:13:50,899 --> 00:13:53,625
Damn it, M.C. Dunks!
Get away from them.
333
00:13:53,660 --> 00:13:57,388
Announcer:
Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss.
334
00:13:57,422 --> 00:14:00,978
I said, "Get...away"!
335
00:14:02,324 --> 00:14:04,671
Oh!
336
00:14:04,705 --> 00:14:07,294
Aah! Help!
337
00:14:07,329 --> 00:14:08,433
Ohh! Oh, help!Oh!
338
00:14:08,468 --> 00:14:09,503
Oh!
Oh, God.
339
00:14:09,538 --> 00:14:10,953
Oh. Aah!
Hey, man.
340
00:14:10,988 --> 00:14:12,368
-What are you -- What --
-Hey, you gotta help me.
341
00:14:12,403 --> 00:14:13,438
What are you talking about?!
342
00:14:13,473 --> 00:14:14,439
-Oh, my --
-Help me!
343
00:14:14,474 --> 00:14:15,406
-What? Stop!
-Please!
344
00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:17,097
-Aah!
-Oh!
345
00:14:20,342 --> 00:14:23,690
M.C. Dunks is dead.
346
00:14:23,724 --> 00:14:25,416
He's dead!
347
00:14:25,450 --> 00:14:27,004
They killed him.
348
00:14:27,038 --> 00:14:28,281
Man: Murderers!
349
00:14:31,077 --> 00:14:33,976
-They're leaving the arena.
-It's over.
350
00:14:38,291 --> 00:14:39,533
Explain cows.
351
00:14:39,568 --> 00:14:40,707
I don't want
to do this anymore.
352
00:14:40,741 --> 00:14:42,398
Tell Mom and Dad
what a cow is.
353
00:14:42,433 --> 00:14:45,056
It's like a big dog
you can drink from.
354
00:14:45,091 --> 00:14:46,264
And what's a dog?
355
00:14:46,299 --> 00:14:48,611
A small cow
you can be friends with.
356
00:14:48,646 --> 00:14:51,131
Tell them about giraffes.
357
00:14:51,166 --> 00:14:53,409
What's a giraffe?
358
00:14:53,444 --> 00:14:55,170
It's just a tall dog with...
359
00:14:55,204 --> 00:14:56,930
Louder. Speak up.
360
00:14:56,965 --> 00:15:00,589
Tall dog
with a leg for a neck.
361
00:15:00,623 --> 00:15:02,487
What is going on?
What is happening?
362
00:15:02,522 --> 00:15:05,214
Are --
Are these real animals?
363
00:15:05,249 --> 00:15:07,630
You made all these things?
364
00:15:07,665 --> 00:15:11,013
This is what you did with
the 4 grand we gave you?!
365
00:15:11,048 --> 00:15:11,945
T-T-That's it. I'm done.
366
00:15:11,980 --> 00:15:14,085
I-I'm not talking
about this anymore.
367
00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:15,362
We're almost finished.
368
00:15:15,397 --> 00:15:18,365
Explain
your pièce de résistance.
369
00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:19,642
Explain humans.
370
00:15:19,677 --> 00:15:21,955
Oh, come on, Ricky.
Just stop it!
371
00:15:21,990 --> 00:15:22,852
You made your point.
372
00:15:22,887 --> 00:15:25,096
These creatures
live on his planet.
373
00:15:25,131 --> 00:15:28,513
But only on the surface, because
he forgot to build the middle.
374
00:15:28,548 --> 00:15:30,653
So the inside is just fire.
375
00:15:30,688 --> 00:15:34,450
Anyway, these humans are born
nude -- like, fully naked.
376
00:15:34,485 --> 00:15:35,727
He gave them
no instructions,
377
00:15:35,762 --> 00:15:37,350
and they just do
whatever they want.
378
00:15:37,384 --> 00:15:38,351
What do you mean?
379
00:15:38,385 --> 00:15:40,042
He gave them free will.
380
00:15:40,077 --> 00:15:43,114
Son, is this true?
381
00:15:43,149 --> 00:15:45,047
Why would you do that?
382
00:15:45,082 --> 00:15:46,980
I thought
it would make them happy.
383
00:15:47,015 --> 00:15:48,602
I thought,
with all that freedom,
384
00:15:48,637 --> 00:15:51,398
they -- they could do
great things.
385
00:15:52,710 --> 00:15:56,990
Instead, they -- they
just mostly ended up...
386
00:15:57,025 --> 00:15:58,716
like me.
387
00:16:01,029 --> 00:16:02,513
Ah...
388
00:16:11,177 --> 00:16:15,422
It was supposed to be better.
389
00:16:30,541 --> 00:16:32,370
So, um...
390
00:16:32,405 --> 00:16:35,097
I'm sorry we put you
in the cabinet.
391
00:16:35,132 --> 00:16:36,547
Craig:
No, I'm -- I'm sorry.
392
00:16:36,581 --> 00:16:38,549
And, also, guys,
I've been thinking about it,
393
00:16:38,583 --> 00:16:40,137
and you're
absolutely right.
394
00:16:40,171 --> 00:16:42,691
The Kiss Cam
really is our best shot.
395
00:16:45,073 --> 00:16:47,178
-It failed.
-Oh.
396
00:16:47,213 --> 00:16:49,284
I mean,
m-maybe it's not all bad.
397
00:16:49,318 --> 00:16:51,286
I mean, traumatic events
bring people together,
398
00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:53,529
so -- so maybe Sam and Laura
can bond over this.
399
00:16:53,564 --> 00:16:55,531
Right? Maybe?
400
00:16:55,566 --> 00:16:59,466
That was horrible.
401
00:16:59,501 --> 00:17:00,674
Yeah.
402
00:17:00,709 --> 00:17:03,677
So, uh, I guess you want
to go home now.
403
00:17:03,712 --> 00:17:05,714
What do you mean?
404
00:17:05,748 --> 00:17:07,681
Well, um, I don't know.
405
00:17:07,716 --> 00:17:09,338
Because you just said
that you were having
406
00:17:09,373 --> 00:17:11,582
a horrible time, so...That's not what I said.
407
00:17:11,616 --> 00:17:13,549
Well, that's what it sounded
like you said.
408
00:17:13,584 --> 00:17:16,276
Okay, well, sounds like
youwant to go home.
409
00:17:16,311 --> 00:17:17,829
What?
What do you mean?
410
00:17:17,864 --> 00:17:20,453
Like, you're the
one who keeps talking
about going home, so...
411
00:17:20,487 --> 00:17:21,592
Well, that's
'cause I-I was thinking
412
00:17:21,626 --> 00:17:23,283
that you wanted
to go home.
413
00:17:23,318 --> 00:17:25,872
W-Well, I kind of do, now.
414
00:17:27,805 --> 00:17:30,773
Okay, fine. So, um...
415
00:17:30,808 --> 00:17:32,568
I'm going home.
416
00:17:32,603 --> 00:17:34,329
Okay, fine. Go home.
417
00:17:34,363 --> 00:17:36,158
I'll go home.
We'll both go home.
418
00:17:37,815 --> 00:17:39,299
Okay.
419
00:17:39,334 --> 00:17:40,852
Good night.
420
00:17:40,887 --> 00:17:42,785
Okay.
421
00:17:42,820 --> 00:17:44,442
Bye.
422
00:17:53,210 --> 00:17:55,177
Goodbye.
423
00:18:05,567 --> 00:18:07,500
You know what?
424
00:18:07,534 --> 00:18:09,502
No.
I'm not giving up.
425
00:18:09,536 --> 00:18:11,331
Son, it's a bad restaurant.
426
00:18:11,366 --> 00:18:13,471
I'm not talking
about Lazy Susan's.
427
00:18:13,506 --> 00:18:15,542
I know
my planet is weird.
428
00:18:15,577 --> 00:18:18,235
I mean, it's frozen
on the top and bottom,
429
00:18:18,269 --> 00:18:20,789
and the sky changes colors,
430
00:18:20,823 --> 00:18:22,894
and people, they don't know
what they're doing,
431
00:18:22,929 --> 00:18:24,241
and they mess up a lot.
432
00:18:24,275 --> 00:18:26,346
But I love it.
433
00:18:26,381 --> 00:18:29,280
And I'm proud of it.
434
00:18:29,315 --> 00:18:31,248
And, come on.
Giraffes are cool.
435
00:18:31,282 --> 00:18:33,284
I mean,
if you don't get giraffes,
436
00:18:33,319 --> 00:18:35,390
if you can't find the joy
437
00:18:35,424 --> 00:18:37,564
in a tall dog
with a leg for a neck,
438
00:18:37,599 --> 00:18:39,670
then I feel sorry
for you.
439
00:18:39,704 --> 00:18:42,259
I mean, you guys
can pick on me all you want.
440
00:18:42,293 --> 00:18:43,846
But don't pick on Earth.
441
00:18:43,881 --> 00:18:46,297
'Cause it's here to stay.
442
00:18:46,332 --> 00:18:47,643
I'm not gonna blow it up.
443
00:18:47,678 --> 00:18:49,645
You were gonna blow it up?Well, yeah.
444
00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:51,716
I got
this whole gold-ball thing
445
00:18:51,751 --> 00:18:55,513
that is setting off this
asteroid that's coming to...
446
00:18:55,548 --> 00:18:58,378
You know what?
It's over your head.
447
00:19:04,626 --> 00:19:07,249
How are
we gonna fix this?
448
00:19:16,465 --> 00:19:19,192
Did someone order a miracle?
449
00:19:19,227 --> 00:19:20,538
The bet's off.
450
00:19:20,573 --> 00:19:22,851
I'm here to save the world.
451
00:19:25,336 --> 00:19:28,650
-O-Okay. Okay.
452
00:19:30,307 --> 00:19:32,550
-Oh, um, it's not gonna...
-Ah.
453
00:19:32,585 --> 00:19:34,311
Craig: Okay.
454
00:19:34,345 --> 00:19:36,830
-Ah.
-Ah! Aah.
455
00:19:36,865 --> 00:19:38,004
-Oh, no!
-Aah!
456
00:19:38,038 --> 00:19:39,212
-Don't hurt yourself.
-Stop it.
457
00:19:39,247 --> 00:19:41,456
That's just -- Okay.
458
00:19:41,490 --> 00:19:42,629
Whew! Damn it.
Rosie!
459
00:19:42,664 --> 00:19:44,631
It's sealed --
permanently.
460
00:19:44,666 --> 00:19:45,736
Remember?
461
00:19:45,770 --> 00:19:47,324
Shit.
462
00:19:49,774 --> 00:19:50,913
Okay.
463
00:19:52,363 --> 00:19:54,365
Oh, how's this thing going?
464
00:20:01,821 --> 00:20:04,375
A basketball game
became a horror show tonight
465
00:20:04,410 --> 00:20:06,998
when a beloved mascot
died in screaming agony
466
00:20:07,033 --> 00:20:08,724
in front of hundreds of fans.
467
00:20:08,759 --> 00:20:12,314
James "M.C. Dunks" Morowitz
collapsed suddenly
468
00:20:12,349 --> 00:20:14,903
during tonight's game
due to what doctors diagnosed
469
00:20:14,937 --> 00:20:17,630
as an "explosive rupture
of the appendix."
470
00:20:17,664 --> 00:20:20,460
The mascot has already been
permanently retired,
471
00:20:20,495 --> 00:20:23,325
as psychologists believe
even seeing his image
472
00:20:23,360 --> 00:20:26,501
may trigger scarring flashbacks
for those unlucky enough
473
00:20:26,535 --> 00:20:28,779
to have witnessed
his nightmarish demise.
474
00:20:28,813 --> 00:20:32,231
Sports, ironically, is next.
32715
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