All language subtitles for Miracle.Workers.2019.S01E01.2.Weeks.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-QOQ_track3_eng

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic Download
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian Download
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French Download
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew Download
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian Download
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,794 --> 00:00:04,176 Woman: The largest ice sheet in the Northern Hemisphere 2 00:00:04,211 --> 00:00:06,213 is simply melting away. 3 00:00:06,247 --> 00:00:09,147 Man: The five-alarm forest fire rages on. 4 00:00:09,181 --> 00:00:11,287 A Florida man on bath salts 5 00:00:11,321 --> 00:00:12,667 has eaten a woman's face. 6 00:00:12,702 --> 00:00:14,462 Ay-yi-yi. 7 00:00:14,497 --> 00:00:17,155 Man #2: And Buzz Dougan has shocked the world! 8 00:00:17,189 --> 00:00:19,295 Buzz: I got to give thanks to my crew and to my sponsors, 9 00:00:19,329 --> 00:00:22,056 but mostly, I want to give thanks to the Lord 10 00:00:22,091 --> 00:00:24,093 for the victory. And I just got to say praise God. 11 00:00:24,127 --> 00:00:26,405 ...praise God... 12 00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:27,717 ...praise God... 13 00:00:27,751 --> 00:00:29,098 ...praise God... 14 00:00:29,132 --> 00:00:30,202 ...praise -- 15 00:00:30,237 --> 00:00:31,859 God? 16 00:00:31,893 --> 00:00:34,137 Oh. Uh, hey, Rosie! 17 00:00:34,172 --> 00:00:36,726 I was just, uh, working on fixing, uh, 18 00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:38,728 the problems down -- down on Earth. 19 00:00:38,762 --> 00:00:40,730 It's time for your 1:00 meeting. 20 00:00:40,764 --> 00:00:43,319 Oh, fantasy-football draft? 21 00:00:43,353 --> 00:00:45,873 You were going to reveal your plan to end all pain. 22 00:00:45,907 --> 00:00:48,738 Oh. That was today? I... 23 00:00:48,772 --> 00:00:50,774 Uh, yeah, I've been working on that all quarter. 24 00:00:50,809 --> 00:00:52,121 You know, just crunching numbers and -- 25 00:00:52,155 --> 00:00:54,847 Okay, you heard him! He's very busy. 26 00:00:54,882 --> 00:00:56,297 He doesn't have time for this. 27 00:00:56,332 --> 00:00:57,850 Come on! Chop-chop! 28 00:01:01,233 --> 00:01:03,339 People talk every day about how the world is screwed up, 29 00:01:03,373 --> 00:01:05,410 but...man, I say we're blessed. 30 00:01:05,444 --> 00:01:07,170 Great things happen every day. 31 00:01:07,205 --> 00:01:08,309 Great things! 32 00:01:08,344 --> 00:01:10,139 Whoo! 33 00:01:10,173 --> 00:01:12,451 And that, of course, was Buzz Dougan's final interview 34 00:01:12,486 --> 00:01:15,420 before his horrific explosion at Daytona. 35 00:01:15,454 --> 00:01:16,662 He is dead. 36 00:01:16,697 --> 00:01:18,630 Come on! Next up, the polar ice caps 37 00:01:18,664 --> 00:01:20,321 are melting at a historic rate. 38 00:01:20,356 --> 00:01:22,323 Scientists really cannot believe 39 00:01:22,358 --> 00:01:23,773 what is happening to our Mother Earth. 40 00:01:30,366 --> 00:01:32,195 Hoochie mama. 41 00:02:06,540 --> 00:02:08,473 Man on P.A.: Attention Heaven Inc -- 42 00:02:08,507 --> 00:02:10,682 Morning shift starts now. 43 00:02:12,511 --> 00:02:13,961 More budget cuts. 44 00:02:25,524 --> 00:02:28,769 And in this next constellation, as you can see, 45 00:02:28,803 --> 00:02:32,324 if you connect all of the dots, you get... 46 00:02:32,359 --> 00:02:33,739 a bear! 47 00:02:33,774 --> 00:02:35,534 What? 48 00:02:35,569 --> 00:02:37,985 He's the VP's nephew. 49 00:02:38,019 --> 00:02:40,332 Oh. 50 00:02:40,367 --> 00:02:41,954 A really big bear! 51 00:02:55,934 --> 00:02:58,868 Gail: Okay, Eliza Hunter. 52 00:02:58,902 --> 00:03:00,697 So, you've applied for a transfer. 53 00:03:00,732 --> 00:03:02,699 What is wrong with the... 54 00:03:02,734 --> 00:03:05,219 Department of Dirt?Oh, nothing. 55 00:03:05,254 --> 00:03:07,601 It has been a really rewarding experience 56 00:03:07,635 --> 00:03:10,983 making millions of tiny dirt clumps and wetting them, 57 00:03:11,018 --> 00:03:14,021 drying them, watching them blow away, 58 00:03:14,055 --> 00:03:16,644 but I think I might be ready 59 00:03:16,679 --> 00:03:17,990 for a little more responsibility. 60 00:03:18,025 --> 00:03:19,026 Why is that? The Department of Dirt 61 00:03:19,060 --> 00:03:21,442 is one of the most stable jobs we've got here. 62 00:03:21,477 --> 00:03:24,238 Mark worked in the Department of Dirt for 80,000 years. 63 00:03:24,273 --> 00:03:27,897 Got his pension, has a very nice condo, and he's happy. 64 00:03:27,931 --> 00:03:29,416 I know. I'm really happy for Mark. 65 00:03:29,450 --> 00:03:31,280 I just... 66 00:03:31,314 --> 00:03:34,006 I just feel like there's a lot of big problems down on Earth, 67 00:03:34,041 --> 00:03:35,905 and I want to do more to help. 68 00:03:35,939 --> 00:03:37,734 Eliza, I know you're new here, 69 00:03:37,769 --> 00:03:39,564 but there's something you've got to understand. 70 00:03:39,598 --> 00:03:40,979 It's way too late to fix Earth. 71 00:03:41,013 --> 00:03:42,774 It's not 30,000 B.C. anymore. 72 00:03:42,808 --> 00:03:45,466 It's not 20 jacked naked people and a bunch of rockin' dinosaurs 73 00:03:45,501 --> 00:03:47,261 gettin' nasty in some sick-ass cave somewhere. 74 00:03:47,296 --> 00:03:48,883 I don't -- I don't think that's how that was. 75 00:03:48,918 --> 00:03:50,851 My point is, you can't fix Earth. 76 00:03:50,885 --> 00:03:53,405 Not if you don't give me a shot. 77 00:03:57,029 --> 00:03:59,377 Okay. Fine. 78 00:03:59,411 --> 00:04:03,277 I will transfer you to the Department of Answered Prayers. 79 00:04:03,312 --> 00:04:05,348 Wait, there's a department that answers prayers? 80 00:04:05,383 --> 00:04:06,522 Mm-hmm. Thank you. 81 00:04:07,626 --> 00:04:09,007 I can't wait to see it. 82 00:04:22,986 --> 00:04:24,540 Hello? 83 00:04:27,957 --> 00:04:30,028 Hello? 84 00:04:30,062 --> 00:04:31,616 Dividing all that... Hello? 85 00:04:31,650 --> 00:04:33,342 Aah! Whoa, whoa! Hey, hey! 86 00:04:33,376 --> 00:04:34,688 Hey, it's cool. I'm cool. Oh. 87 00:04:34,722 --> 00:04:36,483 They just transferred me from Dirt. 88 00:04:36,517 --> 00:04:37,484 I'm Eliza. 89 00:04:37,518 --> 00:04:39,520 Oh. 90 00:04:39,555 --> 00:04:40,970 Oh, wow. Oh, well, welcome! 91 00:04:41,004 --> 00:04:42,627 Sorry. I'm Craig. I'm so sorry for screaming at you. 92 00:04:42,661 --> 00:04:45,388 I've been alone for years. And I wasn't expecting anyone. 93 00:04:45,423 --> 00:04:46,631 It's all good. 94 00:04:46,665 --> 00:04:48,633 It is a little dark in here, huh? 95 00:04:48,667 --> 00:04:49,979 I-I-I don't know. 96 00:04:50,013 --> 00:04:52,430 Woman: Lights are on. 97 00:04:52,464 --> 00:04:54,052 All right, so, which prayer do we answer first? 98 00:04:54,086 --> 00:04:56,675 Saving a life, curing a disease..? 99 00:04:56,710 --> 00:04:58,332 You have arrived at a great moment. 100 00:04:58,367 --> 00:05:00,679 This one is set to be a nail-biter. 101 00:05:00,714 --> 00:05:01,991 All right. 102 00:05:03,061 --> 00:05:04,959 Please let me find my car keys. 103 00:05:04,994 --> 00:05:06,651 Keys. 104 00:05:06,685 --> 00:05:08,031 Okay, yeah, guess we gotta get 105 00:05:08,066 --> 00:05:09,343 this little one out of the way. 106 00:05:09,378 --> 00:05:10,862 Let's zap her the keys.Oh, no. 107 00:05:10,896 --> 00:05:12,829 We can't break the laws of physics. 108 00:05:12,864 --> 00:05:14,728 No zapping. No flying. 109 00:05:14,762 --> 00:05:16,074 Nothing they're gonna notice. 110 00:05:16,108 --> 00:05:17,938 So how do we answer prayers? 111 00:05:17,972 --> 00:05:21,666 Discreet, natural phenomena. 112 00:05:21,700 --> 00:05:23,357 Ha ha ha. 113 00:05:23,392 --> 00:05:24,945 Sneaky, sneaky. 114 00:05:24,979 --> 00:05:27,948 Teasing me from beneath the snow. 115 00:05:27,982 --> 00:05:31,400 Ah, but you can't hide from Papa. 116 00:05:31,434 --> 00:05:34,506 No, Papa sees you. 117 00:05:34,541 --> 00:05:36,059 And Papa is coming for you. 118 00:05:36,094 --> 00:05:38,510 Woman: One snowflake melted. 119 00:05:38,545 --> 00:05:41,133 Two snowflakes melted. 120 00:05:41,168 --> 00:05:43,515 I'm sorry. How much longer is this gonna -- 121 00:05:43,550 --> 00:05:47,657 900,317 snowflakes melted. 122 00:05:47,692 --> 00:05:50,142 Woman #2: My keys!Woman #1: Prayer complete. 123 00:05:50,177 --> 00:05:53,525 Okay, okay. So, now we move onto something bigger...? 124 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:55,907 Well, no, no, no. We're not done yet. 125 00:05:55,941 --> 00:05:57,805 Here's something fun. 126 00:05:57,840 --> 00:05:59,807 And you can put it on the wall. 127 00:05:59,842 --> 00:06:01,533 Uh, let's see. We've got lost keys... 128 00:06:01,568 --> 00:06:03,639 lost keys...lost keys. 129 00:06:03,673 --> 00:06:04,881 A lot of lost keys this month. 130 00:06:04,916 --> 00:06:06,814 Ah! I found a good one. What? 131 00:06:06,849 --> 00:06:07,988 Let's see. 132 00:06:10,093 --> 00:06:11,612 Okay, let's get started. Um... 133 00:06:11,647 --> 00:06:13,787 Oh, uh, I'll handle this. 134 00:06:14,684 --> 00:06:15,720 Wha-- 135 00:06:15,754 --> 00:06:16,893 Whoa! You're just gonna let 136 00:06:16,928 --> 00:06:18,619 those wolves go to town on that guy? 137 00:06:18,654 --> 00:06:20,414 I find it's best to stick with the small ones. 138 00:06:20,449 --> 00:06:22,554 But don't worry. "Impossibles" go all the way to the top. 139 00:06:22,589 --> 00:06:25,212 And so, if anyone can handle them, he can. 140 00:06:25,246 --> 00:06:26,972 Oh, okay. 141 00:06:31,011 --> 00:06:33,738 Ahh! Jordan! 142 00:06:34,670 --> 00:06:36,603 Damn it! 143 00:06:38,639 --> 00:06:42,540 God, I know it's been a rough few thousand years, 144 00:06:42,574 --> 00:06:44,680 but I think you're being too hard on yourself. 145 00:06:44,714 --> 00:06:46,889 You know, you've still got a lot of fans down there. 146 00:06:46,923 --> 00:06:48,925 Not like before. 147 00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:50,099 Do you know how long it's been 148 00:06:50,133 --> 00:06:51,825 since someone sacrificed a ram to me? 149 00:06:51,859 --> 00:06:53,171 I thought that grossed you out. 150 00:06:53,205 --> 00:06:54,241 You know, it did. But at the same time, 151 00:06:54,275 --> 00:06:56,243 there was something nice about it. 152 00:06:56,277 --> 00:06:58,625 I mean, it made me feel like, you know, 153 00:06:58,659 --> 00:07:00,696 hey, I'm doing all right. Mm. 154 00:07:00,730 --> 00:07:04,665 Now sometimes I just feel like packing it all in 155 00:07:04,700 --> 00:07:06,564 and moving on to the next thing. 156 00:07:06,598 --> 00:07:08,013 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 157 00:07:08,048 --> 00:07:10,533 Let's, uh -- Let's not do anything drastic, you know? 158 00:07:10,568 --> 00:07:11,707 Let's give it a beat. 159 00:07:11,741 --> 00:07:13,087 Things will improve. 160 00:07:13,122 --> 00:07:14,468 They better. 161 00:07:16,746 --> 00:07:18,127 Impossible. 162 00:07:20,819 --> 00:07:22,269 Impossible. 163 00:07:22,303 --> 00:07:25,203 Oh! Incoming! 164 00:07:26,204 --> 00:07:28,896 Woman: 2 million prayers received. 165 00:07:28,931 --> 00:07:31,692 This department seems wildly understaffed! 166 00:07:31,727 --> 00:07:34,557 It was designed to accommodate a much smaller Earth population. 167 00:07:34,592 --> 00:07:36,283 No one ever imagined the planet was gonna get this crowded. 168 00:07:36,317 --> 00:07:38,043 There's no way we can answer all of those. 169 00:07:38,078 --> 00:07:40,529 I generally try and shoot for three, four a day. 170 00:07:40,563 --> 00:07:42,289 Although, now that I've got you, a teammate, 171 00:07:42,323 --> 00:07:43,808 there's no telling what we can do. 172 00:07:43,842 --> 00:07:45,913 I'm thinking five... six... 173 00:07:45,948 --> 00:07:48,019 Maybe as many as six! 174 00:07:52,057 --> 00:07:54,301 Craig: Hyah! Hyah! 175 00:07:54,335 --> 00:07:55,785 Oh! 176 00:07:59,168 --> 00:08:00,825 Uhh! 177 00:08:00,859 --> 00:08:02,999 Uhh! Uhh! 178 00:08:03,034 --> 00:08:04,725 Uhh! Hyah! Ha! 179 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:05,795 Oh! 180 00:08:11,042 --> 00:08:13,182 Woman: Rain sequence initiated. 181 00:08:18,774 --> 00:08:21,017 Yes! 182 00:08:21,052 --> 00:08:22,847 Woman: Prayer complete. 183 00:08:26,713 --> 00:08:29,129 No! 184 00:08:29,163 --> 00:08:30,682 What happened? What did you do? 185 00:08:30,717 --> 00:08:31,890 Is that a good alarm? 186 00:08:31,925 --> 00:08:33,236 Wails of grief intermingle 187 00:08:33,271 --> 00:08:34,790 with the shrieking of the death winds 188 00:08:34,824 --> 00:08:37,724 as the typhoon rages on, taking the lives, 189 00:08:37,758 --> 00:08:39,139 and dignity, of thousands. 190 00:08:39,173 --> 00:08:40,796 There's gotta be something we can do. 191 00:08:40,830 --> 00:08:42,176 -I mean, you can press F7. -Does that stop typhoons? 192 00:08:42,211 --> 00:08:43,695 No, it turns the sound off. 193 00:08:43,730 --> 00:08:45,283 ...this is horrible -- Woman: Mute. 194 00:08:45,317 --> 00:08:47,837 -Oh. -Overflow. Overflow. 195 00:08:47,872 --> 00:08:49,770 Don't beat yourself up. Hey, it's your first day. 196 00:08:49,805 --> 00:08:52,255 We all make mistakes. Oh, here's something fun -- 197 00:08:52,290 --> 00:08:54,050 Related prayers all come out together bundled. 198 00:08:54,085 --> 00:08:55,155 It's a way to speed --What do they say?! 199 00:08:55,189 --> 00:08:56,605 Oh, well, yeah, you know... 200 00:08:56,639 --> 00:08:57,364 "Please save me," "Please save me," 201 00:08:57,398 --> 00:08:58,779 "Save me," "Please save me." 202 00:08:58,814 --> 00:09:00,747 "Please kill me." 203 00:09:00,781 --> 00:09:02,369 That's pretty chilling. 204 00:09:02,403 --> 00:09:04,992 Come on, we gotta get these up there! 205 00:09:05,027 --> 00:09:07,305 Oh, n-- Don't. Okay. Prayer jam. 206 00:09:07,339 --> 00:09:09,065 Maybe if I can unclog the tube... 207 00:09:09,100 --> 00:09:10,757 Ooh. Missing glove! 208 00:09:19,006 --> 00:09:20,905 Uh, where are you going? 209 00:09:20,939 --> 00:09:22,182 To fix this. 210 00:09:22,216 --> 00:09:24,978 Tragedy. Tragedy. 211 00:09:25,012 --> 00:09:27,601 Tragedy. Tragedy. 212 00:09:27,636 --> 00:09:30,293 Tragedy. Tragedy. 213 00:09:30,328 --> 00:09:34,608 Oh, Lazy Susan, love of my life. 214 00:09:34,643 --> 00:09:36,610 If only everything worked as good as you. 215 00:09:38,336 --> 00:09:40,787 I'm sorry, sir. I told her you were busy. 216 00:09:40,821 --> 00:09:42,685 It's all good. 217 00:09:45,101 --> 00:09:46,724 Hey. 218 00:09:46,758 --> 00:09:49,416 God. 219 00:09:49,450 --> 00:09:51,073 Hi. Hi. 220 00:09:51,107 --> 00:09:53,627 Eliza. What's up? 221 00:09:53,662 --> 00:09:56,423 Okay, there is a crazy typhoon happening, 222 00:09:56,457 --> 00:09:58,252 and it's killing lots of people. 223 00:09:58,287 --> 00:09:59,840 Can you help? 224 00:09:59,875 --> 00:10:03,292 I don't want to sound cynical, but what's the point? 225 00:10:03,326 --> 00:10:06,364 Uh, the point is, you're God. 226 00:10:06,398 --> 00:10:10,023 You made Earth, okay? It is yours. 227 00:10:10,057 --> 00:10:12,957 And right now, it is in big, big trouble. 228 00:10:12,991 --> 00:10:14,924 It is a mess! People are dying! 229 00:10:14,959 --> 00:10:17,375 And you -- you are the only one that can fix it. 230 00:10:17,409 --> 00:10:19,757 Please, you have got to do something. 231 00:10:22,069 --> 00:10:24,900 You know what? 232 00:10:24,934 --> 00:10:26,867 You're right. 233 00:10:32,459 --> 00:10:34,426 I've been here 10,000 years. 234 00:10:34,461 --> 00:10:36,463 He's never addressed the whole company before. 235 00:10:37,326 --> 00:10:40,018 Hi. 236 00:10:40,053 --> 00:10:41,951 Sorry, guys. Sorry. 237 00:10:41,986 --> 00:10:43,988 Is that God? 238 00:10:44,022 --> 00:10:45,437 Um... 239 00:10:45,472 --> 00:10:47,405 Can they hear me?Yeah. Just lean in. 240 00:10:47,439 --> 00:10:49,407 Yeah. Um... 241 00:10:49,441 --> 00:10:53,480 so, I've decided to blow up Earth. 242 00:10:56,759 --> 00:10:58,727 And, uh... 243 00:10:58,761 --> 00:11:00,004 I guess that's it. 244 00:11:00,038 --> 00:11:02,834 All right. 245 00:11:05,975 --> 00:11:08,909 So, uh, just to be totally clear... 246 00:11:08,944 --> 00:11:13,051 you want to destroy the entire world and kill everyone? 247 00:11:13,086 --> 00:11:14,915 Yeah. But that's not why I brought you in here. 248 00:11:14,950 --> 00:11:16,952 We have something bigger to discuss -- 249 00:11:16,986 --> 00:11:18,919 my next thing. 250 00:11:18,954 --> 00:11:21,750 I bet you a hundo you can't guess what it is. 251 00:11:26,237 --> 00:11:27,376 Is it a new planet? 252 00:11:27,410 --> 00:11:28,515 You owe me a hundo! 253 00:11:28,549 --> 00:11:30,793 This here is a restaurant. 254 00:11:30,828 --> 00:11:34,072 What?I call it...Lazy Susan's. 255 00:11:34,107 --> 00:11:37,213 Okay, what two things do people love the most? 256 00:11:37,248 --> 00:11:39,284 Uh... Great food. 257 00:11:39,319 --> 00:11:41,183 And lazy rivers. Right? 258 00:11:41,217 --> 00:11:42,736 Here's how it works. 259 00:11:42,771 --> 00:11:46,119 The outside is a lazy river. 260 00:11:46,153 --> 00:11:48,846 And the middle part here is an island that has, you know, 261 00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:51,952 like, all these great chefs making all kinds of food. 262 00:11:51,987 --> 00:11:54,817 Now, you, you're floating around with, uh, 263 00:11:54,852 --> 00:11:57,924 some sort of a claw-type device, right? 264 00:11:57,958 --> 00:11:59,753 And when you see a food you like, 265 00:11:59,788 --> 00:12:01,479 you just reach out with your claw, 266 00:12:01,513 --> 00:12:04,171 and you grab it with your claw. 267 00:12:04,206 --> 00:12:06,070 Couple of questions. Shoot. 268 00:12:06,104 --> 00:12:10,350 If you're blowing up the Earth, where will the restaurant be? 269 00:12:10,384 --> 00:12:12,973 Space? Somewhere in space? 270 00:12:13,008 --> 00:12:14,457 I don't know. That's yourdepartment. 271 00:12:14,492 --> 00:12:16,459 Oh. I'm involved. 272 00:12:16,494 --> 00:12:19,152 We are really doing something. 273 00:12:19,186 --> 00:12:22,086 Something amazing. 274 00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:24,122 I love you, buddy. 275 00:12:24,157 --> 00:12:26,884 I love you. 276 00:12:26,918 --> 00:12:29,541 Man on P.A.: Reminder -- All departments are responsible 277 00:12:29,576 --> 00:12:32,096 for the disposal of their assets. 278 00:13:07,856 --> 00:13:09,996 All right, that's your severance package. 279 00:13:10,030 --> 00:13:11,480 You get two weeks of health coverage 280 00:13:11,514 --> 00:13:13,585 for every thousand years of service. 281 00:13:13,620 --> 00:13:15,346 This is horrible.You'll land on your feet. 282 00:13:15,380 --> 00:13:18,521 There are other galaxies out there and other jobs. 283 00:13:18,556 --> 00:13:19,868 If you want, I can put a referral in 284 00:13:19,902 --> 00:13:21,145 for you at the Borgon Nebula. 285 00:13:21,179 --> 00:13:23,906 W-Would I be answering prayers there? 286 00:13:23,941 --> 00:13:26,012 Well, there's no life-forms there, so, no. 287 00:13:26,046 --> 00:13:27,565 You'd mainly be swirling debris. 288 00:13:27,599 --> 00:13:29,532 Right? And does the debris ever dance? 289 00:13:29,567 --> 00:13:30,913 What? 290 00:13:30,948 --> 00:13:32,639 Say the debris had lost an object, 291 00:13:32,673 --> 00:13:34,261 and then that object were found for it, 292 00:13:34,296 --> 00:13:36,229 would the debris be like... 293 00:13:38,231 --> 00:13:40,647 Craig, look, this is a good opportunity for you. 294 00:13:40,681 --> 00:13:42,545 You have been working for centuries. 295 00:13:42,580 --> 00:13:44,340 So just take a break. 296 00:13:44,375 --> 00:13:45,376 Hang out with your friends. 297 00:13:45,410 --> 00:13:47,067 Yes. My friends. 298 00:13:47,102 --> 00:13:48,551 You know, you don't even need to stick around today. 299 00:13:48,586 --> 00:13:50,208 Skip out early. 300 00:13:50,243 --> 00:13:51,554 Go get a burger with your buddies. 301 00:13:51,589 --> 00:13:53,246 Mm. Burgers. 302 00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:55,420 Speaking of, looks like happy hour's starting early. 303 00:13:56,628 --> 00:13:59,045 Wait for me, ya dickheads! 304 00:14:06,086 --> 00:14:10,642 And I already have a prototype for the claw. 305 00:14:10,677 --> 00:14:12,921 Bet you a hundo I can pick up a single peanut. 306 00:14:15,613 --> 00:14:17,995 Damn it! It was working good before. 307 00:14:18,029 --> 00:14:19,030 Yeah, it's a great idea for a restaurant. 308 00:14:19,065 --> 00:14:22,551 But you know what else was a really great idea? 309 00:14:22,585 --> 00:14:24,587 Earth. Nah. 310 00:14:24,622 --> 00:14:26,451 Come on, you said it yourself -- It's a mess. 311 00:14:26,486 --> 00:14:28,246 I mean, look at all those prayers. 312 00:14:28,281 --> 00:14:30,559 They're impossible. 313 00:14:30,593 --> 00:14:32,009 Maybe I can -- I can help. 314 00:14:32,043 --> 00:14:34,908 You couldn't answer a single one of those. 315 00:14:36,496 --> 00:14:39,982 You wanna make a bet? 316 00:14:40,017 --> 00:14:42,226 A bet? 317 00:14:42,260 --> 00:14:43,468 You hear that, Sanjay? 318 00:14:43,503 --> 00:14:45,332 A bet. 319 00:14:45,367 --> 00:14:46,989 Interesting. 320 00:14:47,024 --> 00:14:48,439 You thinking a hundo? Mm... 321 00:14:48,473 --> 00:14:51,131 I was thinking something a little higher-stakes. 322 00:14:51,166 --> 00:14:52,684 Ohh! A thouso? 323 00:14:54,997 --> 00:14:56,930 Bigger. 324 00:14:56,965 --> 00:15:00,278 If I answer one of these "Impossible" prayers, 325 00:15:00,313 --> 00:15:01,970 you spare Earth. 326 00:15:02,004 --> 00:15:05,456 A-All right. All right. 327 00:15:05,490 --> 00:15:08,148 But. If you fail -- 328 00:15:08,183 --> 00:15:09,287 The Earth explodes. 329 00:15:09,322 --> 00:15:11,496 Yeah, but, also... 330 00:15:11,531 --> 00:15:15,362 you have to eat a worm. 331 00:15:15,397 --> 00:15:17,192 Alive. The whole thing. 332 00:15:17,226 --> 00:15:19,642 The head and the butt. In front of everyone. 333 00:15:19,677 --> 00:15:20,643 And you have to act like you like it. 334 00:15:20,678 --> 00:15:22,645 You have to go, "Mmm. Oh-ho! 335 00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:25,096 Mmm. Yum. I like worms." 336 00:15:25,131 --> 00:15:27,029 Hey! 337 00:15:27,064 --> 00:15:28,375 Did you hear that, Sanjay? Isn't that great? 338 00:15:28,410 --> 00:15:30,999 Very funny. 339 00:15:31,033 --> 00:15:32,483 All right. Good luck. 340 00:15:35,727 --> 00:15:37,453 How long do I have? 341 00:15:37,488 --> 00:15:39,524 Two weeks. How about a month? 342 00:15:39,559 --> 00:15:41,768 Two weeks! 343 00:15:41,802 --> 00:15:43,701 Oh. 344 00:15:43,735 --> 00:15:47,187 Woman: Prayer 98% complete. 345 00:15:47,222 --> 00:15:49,707 Great news! I figured it out. 346 00:15:49,741 --> 00:15:51,985 Please not now.Listen, I made a bet with God, 347 00:15:52,020 --> 00:15:53,642 and all we have to do to save the world 348 00:15:53,676 --> 00:15:54,643 is answer one of these -- 349 00:15:54,677 --> 00:15:56,231 Please just leave me alone. 350 00:15:56,265 --> 00:15:57,335 Craig, this is a big deal! 351 00:15:57,370 --> 00:15:58,681 Come on! Oh! 352 00:15:58,716 --> 00:16:01,512 Oh! Minor earthquake. 353 00:16:01,546 --> 00:16:02,754 That was hours of work. 354 00:16:02,789 --> 00:16:04,653 So what? It's just a missing glove. 355 00:16:04,687 --> 00:16:06,517 Who cares about gloves? I do! 356 00:16:06,551 --> 00:16:07,656 I care about gloves! 357 00:16:07,690 --> 00:16:10,383 I care about gloves! 358 00:16:10,417 --> 00:16:11,694 No, look, I know. 359 00:16:11,729 --> 00:16:13,800 You think what I do is small 360 00:16:13,834 --> 00:16:16,561 and stupid and insignificant. 361 00:16:16,596 --> 00:16:18,218 But it is my life. 362 00:16:18,253 --> 00:16:20,807 I-I don't have anything else. 363 00:16:20,841 --> 00:16:22,395 All right, the rest of you are fine. 364 00:16:22,429 --> 00:16:25,156 You just go around. "Oh, let's go grab a burger. 365 00:16:25,191 --> 00:16:27,227 Let's all socialize, get burgers together. 366 00:16:27,262 --> 00:16:29,712 Let's go to a party and have... 367 00:16:29,747 --> 00:16:30,817 burgers," or however it goes -- 368 00:16:30,851 --> 00:16:34,372 I don't know how it goes. Maybe I will never know. 369 00:16:34,407 --> 00:16:37,065 But I knew about my job. 370 00:16:37,099 --> 00:16:39,757 I was good at that, at least. 371 00:16:39,791 --> 00:16:41,552 And you've taken that away from me. 372 00:17:10,581 --> 00:17:12,721 Please. I really need my glove. 373 00:17:22,903 --> 00:17:25,389 Oh, good. You're here. 374 00:17:25,423 --> 00:17:26,631 Why? What have you done now? 375 00:17:26,666 --> 00:17:28,392 Oh, I just, uh -- 376 00:17:28,426 --> 00:17:31,050 I wanted to make sure you got the last leaf. 377 00:17:37,125 --> 00:17:38,816 Ah! My glove! 378 00:17:38,850 --> 00:17:41,232 Woman: Prayer complete. 379 00:17:42,544 --> 00:17:44,649 Well, no, you should stamp it. 380 00:17:44,684 --> 00:17:46,824 You sure? Absolutely. 381 00:17:46,858 --> 00:17:48,446 It was a team effort. 382 00:17:54,245 --> 00:17:57,490 Time to kill. 383 00:17:57,524 --> 00:17:59,181 -F7? -Yeah, F7. 384 00:17:59,216 --> 00:18:00,389 Whoo!Woman: Mute. 385 00:18:07,810 --> 00:18:09,709 That's a lot to go through. 386 00:18:09,743 --> 00:18:11,573 We should probably get started. 387 00:18:15,577 --> 00:18:17,579 Maybe we can do it over burgers? 388 00:18:17,613 --> 00:18:19,477 Burgers? 389 00:18:19,512 --> 00:18:21,721 "Please save the rainforest." 390 00:18:21,755 --> 00:18:24,689 Impossible. "Please stop all wars." No. 391 00:18:24,724 --> 00:18:27,175 "Please make everyone just chill out on Twitter." 392 00:18:27,209 --> 00:18:28,866 "Wi-Fi." "Wi-Fi." 393 00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:30,523 "Airport Wi-Fi." "Wi-Fi." 394 00:18:30,557 --> 00:18:32,318 "Wi-Fi." 395 00:18:33,353 --> 00:18:36,391 Craig, come on! 396 00:18:38,910 --> 00:18:40,843 Craig, leave 'em! 397 00:18:40,878 --> 00:18:43,812 Uh, it was really nice meeting you. 398 00:18:43,846 --> 00:18:47,574 You too. 399 00:18:52,510 --> 00:18:55,789 Please, if anybody is listening... 400 00:18:55,824 --> 00:18:57,653 I really like this girl. 401 00:18:57,688 --> 00:18:59,552 Just please make this happen. 402 00:18:59,586 --> 00:19:01,761 No. No, no, no, no, no. 403 00:19:01,795 --> 00:19:03,763 Okay, love prayers never work, all right? 404 00:19:03,797 --> 00:19:05,523 There's -- There's too many variables. 405 00:19:05,558 --> 00:19:07,767 So, that girl he likes could be uninterested in him, 406 00:19:07,801 --> 00:19:09,734 or she could be in love with somebody else. 407 00:19:09,769 --> 00:19:12,185 But check it out. 408 00:19:12,220 --> 00:19:14,222 Related prayer. 409 00:19:23,714 --> 00:19:26,406 Please, if you're listening... 410 00:19:26,441 --> 00:19:30,238 I really like this guy. 411 00:19:30,272 --> 00:19:31,446 Please make this happen. 412 00:19:34,966 --> 00:19:37,279 This could work. 413 00:19:39,799 --> 00:19:42,560 I don't know. These prayers seem kinda vague. 414 00:19:42,595 --> 00:19:44,631 I mean, "make it happen"? 415 00:19:44,666 --> 00:19:46,288 Like, what does that even mean? 416 00:19:46,323 --> 00:19:47,979 Uh, it just means they want to become a couple. 417 00:19:48,014 --> 00:19:50,913 Yeah, but at what point do two people "become a couple"? 418 00:19:50,948 --> 00:19:52,915 How about we'll say the prayer has been answered 419 00:19:52,950 --> 00:19:54,572 if they go out on a date? 420 00:19:54,607 --> 00:19:56,229 Yeah, I don't know. 421 00:19:56,264 --> 00:19:59,267 I think they really have to, like, you know, "do it." 422 00:19:59,301 --> 00:20:00,578 Right? Two dates. 423 00:20:00,613 --> 00:20:01,752 And they hold hands. 424 00:20:01,786 --> 00:20:02,994 I think it needs to be full sex. 425 00:20:03,029 --> 00:20:05,411 -How about a kiss? -Ooh, a kiss! 426 00:20:05,445 --> 00:20:08,655 Romantic. Ha. Little Casanova over here. 427 00:20:08,690 --> 00:20:10,485 I like it. 428 00:20:10,519 --> 00:20:12,038 Rosie? Bring it in. 429 00:20:20,978 --> 00:20:23,394 Woman: Earth destruction in two weeks. 430 00:20:23,429 --> 00:20:24,775 All right, wait a minute. 431 00:20:24,809 --> 00:20:27,467 Eliza, are you sure you want this prayer? 432 00:20:27,502 --> 00:20:30,746 'Cause once Rosie closes up that world-explody thing, 433 00:20:30,781 --> 00:20:33,301 there's no turning back. 434 00:20:33,335 --> 00:20:37,443 I don't want you crying when everybody starts calling you 435 00:20:37,477 --> 00:20:39,652 "Worm Breath." 436 00:20:39,686 --> 00:20:41,654 -What? -I'm sure. 437 00:20:41,688 --> 00:20:43,518 All right. It's a bet. 438 00:20:44,622 --> 00:20:46,314 Bet is made. 439 00:20:49,869 --> 00:20:53,597 You just picked the hardest prayer in the box! 440 00:20:53,631 --> 00:20:54,977 Uh...n-- 441 00:20:55,012 --> 00:20:57,014 It doesn't seem that hard. 442 00:20:57,048 --> 00:20:59,810 I mean, these two people, they really like each other. 443 00:20:59,844 --> 00:21:01,639 They -- They get along, they're... 444 00:21:01,674 --> 00:21:03,848 they have fun together, they're in close physical proximity. 445 00:21:03,883 --> 00:21:05,609 I mean, it should be simple. 446 00:21:05,643 --> 00:21:07,058 Right, Craig? 447 00:21:07,093 --> 00:21:08,474 Right. Yes. 448 00:21:08,508 --> 00:21:09,820 Uh, should be simple. 449 00:21:09,854 --> 00:21:12,098 Hey, you shaved.Did I? 450 00:21:12,132 --> 00:21:13,927 Yes, I did. 451 00:21:13,962 --> 00:21:16,344 You ready?Let's do it. 452 00:21:18,829 --> 00:21:20,762 No, sir, love ain't easy. 453 00:21:22,902 --> 00:21:24,869 She is gonna eat that worm. 454 00:21:27,700 --> 00:21:30,979 Man: Police say the "shotgun killer" is still at large. 455 00:21:31,013 --> 00:21:32,877 Not a single fingerprint was found, 456 00:21:32,912 --> 00:21:34,362 leading investigators to conclude 457 00:21:34,396 --> 00:21:36,433 that the killer must have been wearing 458 00:21:36,467 --> 00:21:38,538 what could have only been two gloves. 459 00:21:38,573 --> 00:21:39,815 Both: F7. 460 00:21:39,850 --> 00:21:40,954 Woman: Mute. 31937

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.