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1
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(Purposeful footsteps)
2
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(Knocking)
3
00:00:12,734 --> 00:00:14,268
Don't judge me for what
I'm about to ask you to do.
4
00:00:14,303 --> 00:00:16,537
Come inside, please.
5
00:00:16,572 --> 00:00:18,339
- What're you about to...
- It does not matter. It doesn't matter.
6
00:00:18,373 --> 00:00:20,641
What?
7
00:00:20,675 --> 00:00:23,877
That.
8
00:00:23,912 --> 00:00:26,800
- That's why you called me in here?
- Yeah, look at it!
9
00:00:26,115 --> 00:00:28,470
- I'm looking.
- No! Look at it.
10
00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:29,983
Uh, it looks like a bug...
11
00:00:30,170 --> 00:00:32,385
- Yeah.
- Trapped under a glass.
12
00:00:32,420 --> 00:00:34,454
I Googled that bug. It's
some sort of demonic cricket
13
00:00:34,489 --> 00:00:36,756
that "takes chunks out of
your skin when provoked."
14
00:00:36,790 --> 00:00:38,791
Chunks is the word that Google used.
15
00:00:38,826 --> 00:00:40,527
You Googled a bug?
16
00:00:40,561 --> 00:00:43,463
Yeah. I have a thing about
bugs with milky exoskeletons.
17
00:00:43,498 --> 00:00:44,664
I have this irrational fear they
are gonna crawl into my mouth
18
00:00:44,698 --> 00:00:47,467
and nest at night, so...
19
00:00:47,502 --> 00:00:49,168
So, what do you want me to do, kill it?
20
00:00:49,202 --> 00:00:52,104
(Sighs) No, I think I
just need moral support
21
00:00:52,139 --> 00:00:55,274
while I slip a piece of paper
under the glass with the bug
22
00:00:55,308 --> 00:00:58,100
and take the trapped
bug and walk it outside.
23
00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:00,780
Or we could just... kill it.
24
00:01:00,113 --> 00:01:03,149
No, that's not the way to go.
Oh! Oh my God! It's fleeing!
25
00:01:03,183 --> 00:01:04,850
- Whoa, it's fast!
- It's fleeing into the bathroom.
26
00:01:04,884 --> 00:01:06,118
That's why you use the cup method,
27
00:01:06,153 --> 00:01:08,530
because you'd keep it contained!
28
00:01:08,870 --> 00:01:10,555
Now it's just all out!
29
00:01:10,589 --> 00:01:12,349
Well... I guess I don't
even need to be here.
30
00:01:12,358 --> 00:01:14,192
Well, it's h...
31
00:01:14,226 --> 00:01:15,527
Now it's hiding somewhere in the darkness
32
00:01:15,561 --> 00:01:17,262
Waiting for nightfall.
33
00:01:17,296 --> 00:01:20,598
I... I can't... I can't sleep
here. I can't sleep here.
34
00:01:20,633 --> 00:01:22,134
Not with your mouth open anyway.
35
00:01:22,168 --> 00:01:26,304
That's not a nice thing to say to me.
36
00:01:26,338 --> 00:01:27,973
You know, sometimes I forget what
life was like before I knew you.
37
00:01:28,700 --> 00:01:30,607
Okay, bye-bye! Bye. Yup.
38
00:01:30,642 --> 00:01:32,777
'Kay. Hope you catch it!
39
00:01:32,811 --> 00:01:34,645
(Door shuts heavily)
40
00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:37,947
I can hear it. I can hear it.
41
00:01:39,216 --> 00:01:41,719
- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
- www.addic7ed.com -
42
00:01:43,955 --> 00:01:46,256
(Shower water turns off, water drains)
43
00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:49,593
(Tapping)
44
00:01:49,627 --> 00:01:51,195
What the hell?
45
00:01:51,229 --> 00:01:53,764
Hey! Where's my towel?!
46
00:01:53,799 --> 00:01:56,660
John?
47
00:01:56,100 --> 00:02:00,700
Johnny?! Where's my towel?!
48
00:02:00,104 --> 00:02:01,672
Anyways, I asked this kid to
come to the front of the class
49
00:02:01,706 --> 00:02:03,940
and solve this math equation
50
00:02:03,974 --> 00:02:07,444
and he was "pitching a tent." (Laughing)
51
00:02:07,478 --> 00:02:09,379
- He had a boner!
- Oh.
52
00:02:09,414 --> 00:02:13,149
And then I was thinking, these
are young boys, these poor kids,
53
00:02:13,184 --> 00:02:16,586
and it can't be easy having
a teacher like myself, so...
54
00:02:16,620 --> 00:02:20,230
- Mm...
- What was your question again?
55
00:02:20,570 --> 00:02:21,157
You know, it's been so
long I can't remember.
56
00:02:21,192 --> 00:02:23,492
(Door bursts open)
57
00:02:23,527 --> 00:02:26,562
There you are, John! Where did my towel go?
58
00:02:26,597 --> 00:02:29,665
Moira! Nanaimo bars.
59
00:02:29,700 --> 00:02:32,335
Accidentally doubled the batch
and Roland's on diabetes watch,
60
00:02:32,369 --> 00:02:34,870
so I thought why not share the wealth?
61
00:02:34,904 --> 00:02:36,805
Well, what a lovely gesture, huh, Moira?
62
00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:40,275
John, I had towel and now it's disappeared!
63
00:02:40,309 --> 00:02:41,777
There's a towel on the back of the door.
64
00:02:41,811 --> 00:02:43,445
No, that one has dirt on it!
65
00:02:43,479 --> 00:02:46,115
That's not dirt. I used it to kill a bug.
66
00:02:46,149 --> 00:02:48,652
(Moira screams in anguish)
67
00:02:50,286 --> 00:02:53,554
I'm sorry. I... I guess I'm stressed.
68
00:02:54,790 --> 00:02:58,260
Morning, Jocelyn!
69
00:02:58,294 --> 00:03:01,763
You know, Moira, you ever
need to just go somewhere
70
00:03:01,797 --> 00:03:04,299
to unwind and have some pampering,
71
00:03:04,333 --> 00:03:06,368
I know a great place in Elmdale.
72
00:03:06,402 --> 00:03:08,637
Let's not and say we did.
73
00:03:08,671 --> 00:03:11,720
You know, honey, a little
pampering might not be a bad idea.
74
00:03:11,106 --> 00:03:15,509
Could alleviate some of that
weight your carrying around.
75
00:03:15,543 --> 00:03:18,611
So now I'm fat and stressed?
76
00:03:19,948 --> 00:03:21,783
Emotional weight. Emotional.
77
00:03:21,817 --> 00:03:24,852
John, go find a towel now, please,
78
00:03:24,887 --> 00:03:27,288
or I will strip out of this robe
79
00:03:27,322 --> 00:03:31,250
and I will air dry in the street!
80
00:03:31,590 --> 00:03:32,793
Okay, well, I'm just gonna go home. Sorry.
81
00:03:32,827 --> 00:03:34,728
No, no, no. I didn't
say I didn't want them.
82
00:03:34,763 --> 00:03:37,498
Thank you. (Door closes)
83
00:03:37,532 --> 00:03:39,866
A little pampering. Great idea.
84
00:03:39,901 --> 00:03:42,703
- I think so, yeah.
- Yeah.
85
00:03:42,737 --> 00:03:45,572
(Truck zooms by, "Open" sign squeaks)
86
00:03:48,576 --> 00:03:51,444
Hey, Twy. (Sighs)
87
00:03:51,478 --> 00:03:53,120
(Twyla takes customer's order)
88
00:03:53,460 --> 00:03:55,581
Um, Twy...
89
00:03:55,616 --> 00:03:59,419
What is in the "Meadow Harvest" smoothie?
90
00:03:59,453 --> 00:04:01,621
Uh... you know, it changes every day.
91
00:04:01,655 --> 00:04:03,289
Just depends on my mood.
92
00:04:03,324 --> 00:04:05,891
But it's all organic, earthy ingredients.
93
00:04:05,926 --> 00:04:08,361
Okay, so it's like fruity or... ?
94
00:04:08,395 --> 00:04:10,662
Yes, it is. Yup. At times.
95
00:04:10,697 --> 00:04:13,898
And then other times, not.
96
00:04:13,933 --> 00:04:16,868
Okay! Well, today, is it more
fruity or more vegetably... ?
97
00:04:16,902 --> 00:04:18,837
No, I don't know.
98
00:04:18,871 --> 00:04:21,340
I've gotta check in the
back and see what we have.
99
00:04:21,374 --> 00:04:24,810
So Meadow Harvest doesn't refer
to anything... in particular.
100
00:04:24,844 --> 00:04:27,979
No, Meadow Harvest is
exactly how it sounds.
101
00:04:28,130 --> 00:04:30,481
It just changes everyday.
102
00:04:30,515 --> 00:04:33,617
Mm... okay. All right.
Well, I'll just um...
103
00:04:33,652 --> 00:04:36,253
Do that that then...
the Meadow Harvest thing.
104
00:04:36,287 --> 00:04:39,657
- Great!
- Thank you.
105
00:04:39,691 --> 00:04:41,191
Hi.
106
00:04:42,728 --> 00:04:44,595
Hi.
107
00:04:44,629 --> 00:04:47,130
Um, I just feel like I have to warn you,
108
00:04:47,165 --> 00:04:48,798
what you just ordered is gonna...
109
00:04:48,833 --> 00:04:50,600
Run through you like Niagara Falls.
110
00:04:50,634 --> 00:04:52,502
Excuse me?
111
00:04:52,536 --> 00:04:55,538
Uh, she's a sweet girl but
her smoothies are deadly.
112
00:04:55,573 --> 00:04:57,741
Um, I usually prescribe them to my patients
113
00:04:57,775 --> 00:04:59,676
when they're feeling a little... backed up.
114
00:04:59,710 --> 00:05:01,711
That's a lot of information.
115
00:05:01,746 --> 00:05:04,681
I'm... I'm... I'm
kidding. I'm actually not.
116
00:05:04,715 --> 00:05:07,751
I've absolutely done
that... With her smoothies.
117
00:05:07,985 --> 00:05:09,785
So are you a doctor or... ?
118
00:05:09,819 --> 00:05:11,587
I'm a veterinarian.
119
00:05:11,621 --> 00:05:14,223
Oh! It's basically the same thing.
120
00:05:14,257 --> 00:05:16,559
- Ted.
- Um... Alexis.
121
00:05:16,593 --> 00:05:19,695
I know. Without sounding too forward,
122
00:05:19,729 --> 00:05:23,799
I've seen you around and
uh... You know, I have to say,
123
00:05:23,833 --> 00:05:25,367
I think that you are
the most beautiful girl
124
00:05:25,402 --> 00:05:27,103
this town's ever seen.
125
00:05:27,137 --> 00:05:29,170
(Feigning humility) What? No.
126
00:05:29,205 --> 00:05:32,173
I'm sure there's like
another girl... somewhere.
127
00:05:32,208 --> 00:05:33,909
No, I mean it.
128
00:05:33,943 --> 00:05:35,744
Yeah.
129
00:05:35,778 --> 00:05:39,140
Well, it's really nice of you to say.
130
00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:41,850
I would love to take you
out to dinner sometime.
131
00:05:41,884 --> 00:05:44,219
- Oh!
- I feel good about this one.
132
00:05:44,253 --> 00:05:48,956
Yeah, it's a little less fruity
but a little more... something.
133
00:05:48,991 --> 00:05:51,659
Mm!
134
00:05:51,693 --> 00:05:52,760
Mm...
135
00:05:55,163 --> 00:05:57,397
(Giggles and spits)
136
00:05:59,534 --> 00:06:01,102
(Mouths) Oh my God.
137
00:06:01,136 --> 00:06:04,705
(Door opens and closes)
138
00:06:04,740 --> 00:06:09,243
So... about the bug thing.
139
00:06:09,277 --> 00:06:12,146
No explanation necessary.
You've got a thing about bugs.
140
00:06:12,180 --> 00:06:13,614
No, I don't have a thing about bugs.
141
00:06:13,648 --> 00:06:15,982
It was one bug, and that bug was milky.
142
00:06:16,170 --> 00:06:18,519
So... you're a man at one with nature.
143
00:06:18,553 --> 00:06:20,860
Yeah. I could not be
more at one with nature.
144
00:06:20,121 --> 00:06:22,880
I do Coachella every year, so...
145
00:06:22,123 --> 00:06:24,691
Mm. Oh! So you'd be... Into coming with me
146
00:06:24,725 --> 00:06:27,226
on the annual Turkey shoot then.
147
00:06:27,261 --> 00:06:29,963
That's something that should excite you.
148
00:06:29,997 --> 00:06:32,165
What?
149
00:06:32,199 --> 00:06:34,600
- The Turkey shoot?
- Mm.
150
00:06:34,635 --> 00:06:38,838
Roland's annual thing. We
go out and we hunt turkeys.
151
00:06:38,873 --> 00:06:42,275
Been doing it every year since I was
far too young to be holding a gun.
152
00:06:42,309 --> 00:06:44,443
Yeah... yes. Yeah. Let's do that.
153
00:06:47,280 --> 00:06:49,148
I was joking.
154
00:06:49,182 --> 00:06:52,417
I have a strong feeling
that would not be your thing.
155
00:06:52,451 --> 00:06:54,953
And what do think "my thing" is exactly?
156
00:06:54,988 --> 00:06:56,555
High thread count sheets?
157
00:06:56,589 --> 00:06:57,856
Colognes that smell like fireplace...
158
00:06:57,891 --> 00:06:59,491
Okay. Well, it might surprise you to know
159
00:06:59,492 --> 00:07:00,793
that I have more than one thing,
160
00:07:00,827 --> 00:07:04,396
so I will happily go with you on the hunt!
161
00:07:04,430 --> 00:07:06,699
Nothing would make me
more excited than to...
162
00:07:06,733 --> 00:07:09,670
Go hunting for...
163
00:07:09,101 --> 00:07:11,502
- Turkeys.
- Turkeys... with you,
164
00:07:11,536 --> 00:07:14,572
So... is this a tweed or a camo situation?
165
00:07:18,410 --> 00:07:21,478
Okay, did anyone actually see this pillow
166
00:07:21,513 --> 00:07:23,480
come out of this container?
167
00:07:23,515 --> 00:07:26,784
Seriously?! Go. To. Hell!
168
00:07:26,819 --> 00:07:28,419
You're off... you're a fool!
169
00:07:28,453 --> 00:07:30,221
Okay, Moira, why are we doing this?
170
00:07:30,255 --> 00:07:31,655
Why don't we wait for the girl to come in
171
00:07:31,690 --> 00:07:32,756
and help us make the bed?
172
00:07:32,790 --> 00:07:35,920
She never comes, John.
173
00:07:35,126 --> 00:07:37,194
(Knock at the door, Johnny sighs)
174
00:07:37,229 --> 00:07:41,365
No. Bastard. Bastard!
175
00:07:41,399 --> 00:07:43,166
- Jocelyn! Hi!
- Johnny.
176
00:07:43,201 --> 00:07:45,302
Oh good, you're here, Moira.
177
00:07:45,337 --> 00:07:48,138
I was just booking myself an
appointment with Janine at the salon
178
00:07:48,172 --> 00:07:50,840
and I said to myself, "wow,
179
00:07:50,874 --> 00:07:53,409
Moira really looks like
she needs a pick-me-up,"
180
00:07:53,444 --> 00:07:55,511
so I booked you a Mani too!
181
00:07:55,546 --> 00:07:57,880
Little girls spa day on me.
182
00:07:57,914 --> 00:08:01,217
Wow! What a nice gesture!
183
00:08:01,252 --> 00:08:04,190
May I see a spa treatment menu?
184
00:08:04,540 --> 00:08:05,821
Oh, well, it's just a salon,
185
00:08:05,856 --> 00:08:07,857
so they don't really do
all that kind of stuff.
186
00:08:07,891 --> 00:08:10,259
But she does give a mean scalp massage.
187
00:08:10,293 --> 00:08:13,428
Really mean?
188
00:08:13,463 --> 00:08:15,898
If you requested that, I guess, yeah.
189
00:08:15,932 --> 00:08:18,000
Moira, this sounds too good to pass up.
190
00:08:18,340 --> 00:08:20,350
Please, please do this, for me.
191
00:08:21,905 --> 00:08:23,505
Let me rephrase that.
192
00:08:23,539 --> 00:08:25,775
Do it for you because you deserve...
193
00:08:25,809 --> 00:08:28,109
Yes! My answer's yes, Jocelyn. Thank you.
194
00:08:28,144 --> 00:08:29,478
- Yay!
- Oh, yes.
195
00:08:29,512 --> 00:08:30,679
(Birds chirp)
196
00:08:32,649 --> 00:08:35,850
So, what're you doing tonight?
197
00:08:35,885 --> 00:08:38,520
Making chili. Might do some laundry.
198
00:08:40,723 --> 00:08:42,591
(Awkward silence)
199
00:08:44,594 --> 00:08:46,127
A polite person would now ask me
200
00:08:46,162 --> 00:08:48,896
what I'm doing tonight.
201
00:08:48,930 --> 00:08:51,499
That's what this is about? Sorry.
202
00:08:51,533 --> 00:08:52,933
Um... what're you doing tonight?
203
00:08:52,967 --> 00:08:54,735
Ted's taking me out.
204
00:08:54,770 --> 00:08:58,306
- Ted.
- Mm-hmm. Ted.
205
00:08:58,340 --> 00:09:01,776
I don't know his last name.
The... the, um, doctor.
206
00:09:01,810 --> 00:09:03,678
- The vet?
- Yeah, the doctor.
207
00:09:03,712 --> 00:09:06,680
The animal doctor.
208
00:09:06,714 --> 00:09:11,418
Yeah, we went to high school together.
209
00:09:11,452 --> 00:09:13,190
I think you'd be good for each other.
210
00:09:13,530 --> 00:09:16,189
Do you?
211
00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:18,557
I think he has everything
you're looking for in a husband.
212
00:09:18,591 --> 00:09:21,294
A husband?
213
00:09:21,328 --> 00:09:24,297
What am I looking for in a husband?
214
00:09:24,331 --> 00:09:25,865
Money.
215
00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:30,360
Hmm.
216
00:09:33,173 --> 00:09:35,941
(Birds chirp, crow caws)
217
00:09:35,975 --> 00:09:39,177
Did you know Richard Gere's
middle name is Tiffany?
218
00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:41,179
So Ted's taking me to Antonio's.
219
00:09:41,214 --> 00:09:43,181
What's Antonio's?
220
00:09:43,216 --> 00:09:45,951
It's this little buffet
restaurant in Elmdale,
221
00:09:45,985 --> 00:09:48,419
but he said that we
could order off the menu.
222
00:09:48,454 --> 00:09:49,821
Are you sure you wanna be
traveling so far out of town
223
00:09:49,856 --> 00:09:51,656
with a person you just met?
224
00:09:51,690 --> 00:09:53,858
I went on a blind date to Bali with Leo,
225
00:09:53,892 --> 00:09:57,761
so... I'm pretty sure I'm gonna be fine.
226
00:09:57,795 --> 00:09:59,296
So who is this person?
227
00:09:59,331 --> 00:10:01,832
Mm... he's cute.
228
00:10:01,867 --> 00:10:04,168
- And...
- And...
229
00:10:04,202 --> 00:10:05,836
He doesn't have a trust fund,
230
00:10:05,871 --> 00:10:09,673
so, like, that's a refreshing
change of pace for me.
231
00:10:09,707 --> 00:10:12,208
Speaking of people without trust funds,
232
00:10:12,230 --> 00:10:13,965
what about that beardy thing
that you spend time with?
233
00:10:13,999 --> 00:10:15,599
- What? Mutt?
- Yeah.
234
00:10:15,634 --> 00:10:17,868
- No. Ew. It's not a thing.
- Right.
235
00:10:17,902 --> 00:10:20,304
- I'm looking for Alexis.
- Oh, you have a what?
236
00:10:20,338 --> 00:10:22,373
- (Gasps)
- A thing with Alexis tonight?
237
00:10:22,407 --> 00:10:24,341
- Uh, a date.
- I think that's Ted.
238
00:10:24,376 --> 00:10:26,440
(Gasps) Why is he over there?
239
00:10:26,780 --> 00:10:28,979
Because he knows how much I love it when
mom and dad interrogate your boyfriends.
240
00:10:29,113 --> 00:10:30,981
- I wonder what they're asking?
- No, David!
241
00:10:31,150 --> 00:10:33,284
Tell me, Ted, are your
parents still together?
242
00:10:33,318 --> 00:10:34,485
Uh, no. They divorced
when I was in high school.
243
00:10:34,519 --> 00:10:36,987
Oh... alcoholism.
244
00:10:37,210 --> 00:10:39,890
No, I think they just realized that
they were better off as friends.
245
00:10:39,123 --> 00:10:42,580
- Tsk, tsk. Affair. Poor thing.
- Hmm.
246
00:10:42,930 --> 00:10:43,860
(Door opens) Okay. That's enough,
everybody. Thank you so much. Hey!
247
00:10:43,895 --> 00:10:45,328
Ted: Hey! Got the wrong room. Hi.
248
00:10:45,362 --> 00:10:47,300
- Yeah, you did. Okay.
- Yeah. Uh...
249
00:10:47,650 --> 00:10:50,500
Hey! I know you!
250
00:10:50,534 --> 00:10:52,602
Yeah, no, Stevie brought you in to see me.
251
00:10:52,636 --> 00:10:54,938
I had the pleasure of treating
your son's panic attack.
252
00:10:54,972 --> 00:10:58,407
So Antonio's buffet, huh?
253
00:10:58,441 --> 00:11:00,876
- So many choices, one little plate.
- Okay, you know what?
254
00:11:00,911 --> 00:11:04,580
Bye, guys. We'll see you in the morning!
255
00:11:04,614 --> 00:11:06,882
"In the morning!" Very funny, Alexis!
256
00:11:06,917 --> 00:11:08,818
Don't even think about
it. Ain't gonna happen.
257
00:11:08,852 --> 00:11:10,953
- Ted, not on the first date.
- Yes, sir.
258
00:11:10,987 --> 00:11:13,856
Don't wanna kill the buzz, but have fun.
259
00:11:13,890 --> 00:11:16,291
Alexis seems to have found
someone to keep her busy.
260
00:11:16,326 --> 00:11:18,293
What about you, David?
261
00:11:18,328 --> 00:11:21,960
I'm gonna go to bed. I have to be up early
262
00:11:21,130 --> 00:11:24,990
I stupidly agreed to go
hunting with Stevie tomorrow.
263
00:11:24,133 --> 00:11:25,334
- Hunting?!
- Yeah.
264
00:11:25,368 --> 00:11:26,602
- Hunting?!
- Yeah.
265
00:11:26,636 --> 00:11:28,237
You said hunting?!
266
00:11:28,271 --> 00:11:31,500
Yeah.
267
00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:32,400
(Door closes)
268
00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:35,777
Wow.
269
00:11:35,811 --> 00:11:38,880
(Crickets chirp, cell phone alarm rings)
270
00:11:40,716 --> 00:11:42,783
(Sighs)
271
00:11:42,817 --> 00:11:44,652
- Agh!
- It's me!
272
00:11:44,686 --> 00:11:46,787
- Who is it?
- It's your father!
273
00:11:46,821 --> 00:11:48,656
What're you doing lurking in our bedroom?
274
00:11:48,690 --> 00:11:50,824
I'm not "lurking" in your
room. Your alarm is going off,
275
00:11:50,859 --> 00:11:52,826
you're not turning off your alarm!
276
00:11:52,861 --> 00:11:55,329
Shoot!
277
00:11:55,364 --> 00:11:56,497
You know, I'm telling you, I... I... I...
278
00:11:56,531 --> 00:11:58,532
I'm not comfortable with you going hunting.
279
00:11:58,567 --> 00:12:00,401
I don't feel comfortable with it either!
280
00:12:00,435 --> 00:12:03,902
End. This. Now. Thank you.
281
00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:07,274
- All right, just be careful please!
- Okay. Thanks.
282
00:12:07,308 --> 00:12:09,628
You and your nightgown can
tippy-toe back to bed. I'm late.
283
00:12:19,260 --> 00:12:20,528
(Foliage crunches underfoot)
284
00:12:22,364 --> 00:12:23,364
(Coveralls zip)
285
00:12:25,660 --> 00:12:27,502
You ever killed before?
286
00:12:27,536 --> 00:12:30,737
Have I ever killed before? No.
287
00:12:31,808 --> 00:12:34,108
Elton John used to have an annual
hunt at his place in Windsor,
288
00:12:34,142 --> 00:12:35,742
but that was more about the lunch.
289
00:12:35,776 --> 00:12:37,677
(Yelling) Turkey virgin!
290
00:12:40,815 --> 00:12:44,183
Does this come in a slimmer cut?
291
00:12:44,218 --> 00:12:45,418
Here. You can take this one.
292
00:12:45,452 --> 00:12:48,121
It has a scope so you can see the head.
293
00:12:48,155 --> 00:12:51,825
Okay! (Clears throat)
Gather round, my shooters.
294
00:12:51,859 --> 00:12:54,193
Bob has a little prayer
here he'd like to offer up.
295
00:12:54,228 --> 00:12:57,229
Just a little convo with the
big man upstairs for a second.
296
00:12:57,263 --> 00:13:00,165
It happens every year.
297
00:13:00,199 --> 00:13:02,334
Our God, in these times of need,
298
00:13:04,604 --> 00:13:06,872
our light in these times of darkness...
299
00:13:06,907 --> 00:13:08,641
- David, do you wanna...
- Oh.
300
00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:13,780
(Lid snaps, traffic rumbles nearby)
301
00:13:13,112 --> 00:13:16,313
So is it, like, a small town thing
302
00:13:16,348 --> 00:13:19,884
to end the first date
with a kiss on the cheek?
303
00:13:19,919 --> 00:13:21,152
- (Laughs silently)
- What?
304
00:13:21,186 --> 00:13:23,287
Nothing.
305
00:13:23,321 --> 00:13:25,456
What?! It's not like it
was a bad date or anything.
306
00:13:25,490 --> 00:13:28,225
Well, it sounds like things got crazy.
307
00:13:28,260 --> 00:13:30,528
Yeah! I actually introduced him to Beyonce
308
00:13:30,563 --> 00:13:33,964
on the car ride on the way
home, so that was very special.
309
00:13:33,998 --> 00:13:36,499
It's just, if the date's a success with me,
310
00:13:36,534 --> 00:13:38,936
I'll let you know it.
311
00:13:38,970 --> 00:13:40,503
Okay... (Laughs)
312
00:13:40,538 --> 00:13:42,205
(Car rumbles)
313
00:13:44,809 --> 00:13:46,109
I mean, he might as well
have shaken your hand.
314
00:13:46,143 --> 00:13:47,578
Well, he did that too.
315
00:13:47,612 --> 00:13:49,813
- Hey!
- Hey!
316
00:13:49,847 --> 00:13:52,314
I thought that you could
use a proper smoothie!
317
00:13:52,348 --> 00:13:55,384
Well, lucky for you,
we're just finishing up.
318
00:13:55,418 --> 00:13:56,819
(Forced kiss)
319
00:14:00,591 --> 00:14:04,126
Uh, hey, Mutt. Do you want a ride?
320
00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:05,828
- I'm good.
- Are you sure? It's a long walk.
321
00:14:05,862 --> 00:14:07,229
I like walking.
322
00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:09,198
Suit yourself, bud.
323
00:14:09,232 --> 00:14:10,899
So you don't mind wrapping up?
324
00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:15,670
(Door bangs shut) Bye!
325
00:14:15,705 --> 00:14:17,472
(Car rumbles away)
326
00:14:21,677 --> 00:14:23,377
So how are your bowels? Good and tight?
327
00:14:23,412 --> 00:14:26,470
Yes. Thank you for the concern.
328
00:14:26,820 --> 00:14:28,490
Well, I just wanna make sure
you got the stomach for this
329
00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:31,719
'cause you, you kinda seem like
an indoors-y sort of guy to me.
330
00:14:31,753 --> 00:14:35,756
- Mm-hmm.
- You know, delicate. Fragile. Scrimpy.
331
00:14:35,790 --> 00:14:37,257
Thank you.
332
00:14:39,427 --> 00:14:40,861
Okay, get down.
333
00:14:43,564 --> 00:14:44,932
(Grunting and sighing)
334
00:14:47,401 --> 00:14:49,502
Have you ever held a gun before?
335
00:14:49,536 --> 00:14:52,271
Uh, yeah, but it wasn't this... heavy,
336
00:14:52,305 --> 00:14:54,473
which makes me think that
Elton's was actually a toy.
337
00:14:54,508 --> 00:14:56,308
All right, you gotta...
338
00:14:56,343 --> 00:14:58,778
Treat it like it's a newborn baby.
339
00:14:58,812 --> 00:15:00,713
Have to admit, not into babies
340
00:15:00,748 --> 00:15:03,883
so it's kind of a guessing game for me.
341
00:15:03,917 --> 00:15:05,417
Oh, you got soft hands.
342
00:15:05,452 --> 00:15:07,486
Okay, thank you. Thanks.
343
00:15:07,521 --> 00:15:08,987
You don't have to do this.
344
00:15:09,220 --> 00:15:12,323
Do what? Have fun?
345
00:15:12,358 --> 00:15:15,260
Smell like manure? Get called "scrimpy"?
346
00:15:15,294 --> 00:15:16,895
Who wouldn't wanna sign up for this?
347
00:15:16,929 --> 00:15:18,263
Yeah.
348
00:15:18,297 --> 00:15:20,132
(Diner door opens, music plays)
349
00:15:24,569 --> 00:15:27,400
Oh, uh, Jocelyn, would you grab us a table
350
00:15:27,390 --> 00:15:28,839
while I speak with my husband, please.
351
00:15:28,874 --> 00:15:31,441
Well, he should join us!
And... between you and me,
352
00:15:31,476 --> 00:15:33,177
people are noticing you!
353
00:15:33,211 --> 00:15:34,979
(Chuckles politely)
354
00:15:40,719 --> 00:15:43,619
Excuse me, cowboy, have
you seen my husband?
355
00:15:43,654 --> 00:15:47,230
Oh my God. Oh, oh, oh... (Laughs)
356
00:15:47,580 --> 00:15:50,930
Look at you. Boy, you look like...
357
00:15:50,127 --> 00:15:51,961
Who? Who do I look like?
358
00:15:51,996 --> 00:15:53,663
I wanna say Tanya Harding.
359
00:15:53,698 --> 00:15:55,131
Do you? How about... ?
360
00:15:58,836 --> 00:16:00,269
- Jocelyn!
- Mm-hmm.
361
00:16:00,304 --> 00:16:04,306
Oh my God, that's right! Why Jocelyn?
362
00:16:04,340 --> 00:16:05,741
Because everyone who
comes out of that salon
363
00:16:05,775 --> 00:16:07,943
looks just like Jocelyn.
364
00:16:07,977 --> 00:16:12,470
Wow! And is that you? Is that your... wig?
365
00:16:12,820 --> 00:16:14,416
No, it's a dead possum.
Yes, it's a wig, John.
366
00:16:14,450 --> 00:16:15,984
Is she still looking at us?
367
00:16:18,554 --> 00:16:22,290
Yes, she is. Yes. So what happened?
368
00:16:22,325 --> 00:16:24,125
I can't believe you're wearing this.
369
00:16:24,159 --> 00:16:26,293
This is what I get for being nice, John.
370
00:16:26,328 --> 00:16:28,429
I'm doing this for Jocelyn
because she paid for it,
371
00:16:28,463 --> 00:16:29,831
and it was her "little treat,"
372
00:16:29,865 --> 00:16:31,785
and I didn't have the
heart to rip it off my head
373
00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:33,835
much less torch it.
374
00:16:33,869 --> 00:16:35,200
So, now, until I get in the shower,
375
00:16:35,370 --> 00:16:36,677
I'm stuck looking like every other inmate
376
00:16:36,705 --> 00:16:39,173
in this godforsaken prison.
377
00:16:39,208 --> 00:16:41,475
She's coming over. I just told a joke.
378
00:16:41,509 --> 00:16:43,978
You did? (Laughs) You did!
379
00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:47,313
What do you think of your beautiful wife?
380
00:16:47,348 --> 00:16:49,983
Well, which... beautiful wife
are we talking about here, huh?
381
00:16:50,170 --> 00:16:52,518
Oh... (Laughs)
382
00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:55,555
Well, I can't tell you
how freeing it is, Jocelyn,
383
00:16:55,589 --> 00:16:58,792
to... to try something new like this. 'Tis.
384
00:16:58,826 --> 00:17:00,794
I mean, of course, as an actress,
385
00:17:00,828 --> 00:17:03,930
I can imagine what kind
of sad character might...
386
00:17:03,965 --> 00:17:05,865
But not necessarily.
387
00:17:05,899 --> 00:17:08,300
Sad?! You think this is a sad look?
388
00:17:08,334 --> 00:17:09,635
[Both] No! No.
389
00:17:09,669 --> 00:17:11,703
Not the look. No, Jocelyn,
390
00:17:11,738 --> 00:17:14,106
I'm talking about the inner sadness
391
00:17:14,141 --> 00:17:18,770
that would come from...
From living in such a...
392
00:17:18,111 --> 00:17:20,312
We have to get drinks. Several drinks,
393
00:17:20,346 --> 00:17:22,214
don't you think? Let's celebrate!
394
00:17:22,249 --> 00:17:25,516
Let's... celebrate drinking!
Okay. (Awkward laugh)
395
00:17:25,550 --> 00:17:27,585
(Turkey gobbles) Okay, David,
396
00:17:27,619 --> 00:17:30,354
it's all yours. Aim for the face.
397
00:17:30,389 --> 00:17:32,230
(Whispering) It's looking at me.
398
00:17:32,570 --> 00:17:34,725
That's it. You're locked
in. It's just you and him.
399
00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:36,727
- (Turkey gobbles)
- Okay...
400
00:17:36,762 --> 00:17:38,462
(Sharp inhale)
401
00:17:38,497 --> 00:17:39,664
(Whispering) Just point and shoot, David.
402
00:17:39,698 --> 00:17:40,899
Hard to do when you're talking, Bob.
403
00:17:40,933 --> 00:17:41,966
There's no one talking now.
404
00:17:42,100 --> 00:17:43,301
- Bob, you're talking.
- What?
405
00:17:43,335 --> 00:17:44,769
- Stop talking!
- Too much talking!
406
00:17:44,803 --> 00:17:46,637
Shoot the bird, David! Shoot it!
407
00:17:46,672 --> 00:17:47,538
Ronnie honestly, if you're
not gonna shoot it, I...
408
00:17:47,572 --> 00:17:49,173
(loud blast)
409
00:17:52,430 --> 00:17:54,278
(David gasps, horrified)
410
00:17:54,313 --> 00:17:56,714
- And... in the neck.
- It's still moving.
411
00:17:56,748 --> 00:17:59,216
Just let it bleed out.
412
00:17:59,250 --> 00:18:01,118
You okay?
413
00:18:01,152 --> 00:18:03,386
I feel like one of the Manson girls.
414
00:18:03,421 --> 00:18:05,488
First time's tough.
415
00:18:05,523 --> 00:18:06,956
Even tougher when you shoot it in the neck
416
00:18:06,990 --> 00:18:08,458
'cause then it takes longer to die.
417
00:18:08,492 --> 00:18:10,226
Okay, not helping, Ronnie.
418
00:18:10,260 --> 00:18:12,195
So, now what? Do we just...
419
00:18:12,229 --> 00:18:15,198
Wait until its Turkey family
comes and shoot them too?
420
00:18:15,232 --> 00:18:17,734
Hey, I think I see them.
421
00:18:17,768 --> 00:18:18,868
- (Turkeys gobble loudly)
- No, no.
422
00:18:18,902 --> 00:18:20,370
(Rhythmic knock at the door)
423
00:18:20,404 --> 00:18:22,305
Yes! Heard you.
424
00:18:25,608 --> 00:18:27,976
- Jocelyn! Hi.
- Hi.
425
00:18:28,100 --> 00:18:31,246
I just wanted to say how fun it
was to spend the day with you.
426
00:18:31,280 --> 00:18:34,650
Oh, Jocelyn, 'tis I who
owes you a big thank you.
427
00:18:34,684 --> 00:18:38,153
I also wanted to apologize
for Janine ruining your wig.
428
00:18:38,187 --> 00:18:39,555
No, don't be silly. I was...
429
00:18:39,589 --> 00:18:42,390
I was about to... Find a shower cap.
430
00:18:42,424 --> 00:18:44,692
I know you hate your hair, Moira.
431
00:18:44,727 --> 00:18:47,762
Almost as much as you hate this town.
432
00:18:47,796 --> 00:18:49,663
But there's a possibility you could be here
433
00:18:49,697 --> 00:18:51,432
a really long time.
434
00:18:51,467 --> 00:18:54,268
May I offer you something?
435
00:18:54,302 --> 00:18:57,872
The people here are
just trying to help you,
436
00:18:57,906 --> 00:19:01,750
and there'll be days when
your wigs need conditioning...
437
00:19:01,109 --> 00:19:04,912
Or one of your fashion-y
blouses shrinks in the dryer,
438
00:19:04,946 --> 00:19:09,830
and you'll have to go to Janine's
or get a shirt at the Blouse Barn,
439
00:19:09,117 --> 00:19:11,685
just like the rest of us.
440
00:19:11,719 --> 00:19:14,755
And I would hate for that
day to catch you by surprise.
441
00:19:14,789 --> 00:19:17,424
I don't hate this town, Jocelyn.
442
00:19:17,458 --> 00:19:21,695
It's just not mine,
and this is not my hair.
443
00:19:21,729 --> 00:19:23,620
I know. It's a wig.
444
00:19:23,970 --> 00:19:25,932
It's not my style.
445
00:19:25,966 --> 00:19:28,234
You? On you, it's adorable.
446
00:19:28,269 --> 00:19:30,503
You have a look that
says, "Hi. I'm Jocelyn,
447
00:19:30,537 --> 00:19:32,906
and I know who I am!"
448
00:19:32,940 --> 00:19:35,474
For that, you're very fortunate. You are.
449
00:19:35,509 --> 00:19:38,511
I don't who I am from
one moment to the next.
450
00:19:38,545 --> 00:19:43,216
So honestly, dear, I envy you, all right?
451
00:19:43,250 --> 00:19:45,951
But if you ever... Ever catch me shopping
452
00:19:45,985 --> 00:19:48,820
at the Blouse Barn,
453
00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:50,989
you must shoot me in the temple.
454
00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:52,324
Promise?
455
00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:55,394
Promise.
456
00:19:55,428 --> 00:19:57,620
My son is hunting right
now with your husband,
457
00:19:57,960 --> 00:19:59,640
so I... I know you people have guns.
458
00:20:04,335 --> 00:20:07,103
What about what we just
did, makes you think,
459
00:20:07,137 --> 00:20:09,873
"yeah, you know what? I wanna do
this year after year after year"?
460
00:20:09,907 --> 00:20:11,741
Was it the lying in the mud part
461
00:20:11,775 --> 00:20:14,310
or was it... Wearing the clothes (Sniffs)
462
00:20:14,344 --> 00:20:17,790
That smell like menthol
cigarettes and body odor?
463
00:20:17,114 --> 00:20:19,582
'cause usually it's more fun.
464
00:20:19,617 --> 00:20:22,585
Usually Ray comes and... gets wasted and...
465
00:20:22,620 --> 00:20:24,853
Spends the whole day
singing Carole King ballads.
466
00:20:24,888 --> 00:20:26,187
(Adjoining door opens) David, I...
467
00:20:26,222 --> 00:20:28,390
Need a towel, please.
468
00:20:28,424 --> 00:20:29,791
Is that a new wig? Because...
469
00:20:29,826 --> 00:20:31,106
You are reminding me of someone.
470
00:20:31,127 --> 00:20:33,940
Towel, please.
471
00:20:33,129 --> 00:20:36,331
I need my towels. Uh,
what... who did this to you?!
472
00:20:36,365 --> 00:20:37,866
You went to Janine's.
473
00:20:37,901 --> 00:20:40,680
Yes. Jocelyn took me to...
474
00:20:40,102 --> 00:20:42,738
(gasps) Jocelyn! You look like Jocelyn!
475
00:20:42,772 --> 00:20:46,373
Jocelyn. And what's your excuse?
476
00:20:46,408 --> 00:20:49,476
Oh, um... I shot a bird in the neck today.
477
00:20:49,511 --> 00:20:52,179
It was an indelible image
that I had scarred in my mind
478
00:20:52,213 --> 00:20:55,215
until I saw what was...
Happening up there with you.
479
00:20:55,250 --> 00:20:56,884
(Stifling laughter) So... thank you.
480
00:20:59,421 --> 00:21:01,288
I'm gonna get your towel.
481
00:21:05,726 --> 00:21:07,226
(Sighs)
482
00:21:07,228 --> 00:21:11,000
- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
- www.addic7ed.com -
33753
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